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Your girlfriend may be a secret uggo using makeup to deceive you, Red Pill dudes warn

Some women use makeup to try to disguise the fact that they are zombies

Some women use makeup to try to disguise the fact that they are zombies

The We Hunted the Mammoth Pledge Drive continues! If you haven’t already, please consider sending some bucks my way. (The PayPal page will say you are donating to Man Boobz.) Thanks!

Bad news, guys! Over on the Red Pill subreddit, the regulars have uncovered a massive conspiracy to dupe men into relationships with women who are not the 8/10 would-bang hotties that they seem! This conspiracy is known as “makeup” — and you may already be a victim!

Earlier today, a Red Pill Redditor calling himself constructiveasshole dropped a massive truth bomb on his Red Pill colleagues. It turns out that that pretty gal you have your eye on — or that you might even be dating! —  is actually … not so pretty. Because women are FAKE.

Constructiveasshole, drawing on his own sad story, revealed some of the dirty tricks that women use to lure men to their doom:

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I thought that I would never see / A PUA write poetry. But then I did and holy crap it’s awful.

Hmm. What rhymes with "hypergamous western sluts?"

Hmm. What rhymes with “I’m an insufferable douchebag?”

I interrupt this blog for a moment for some breaking news: Pickup Artists have started writing poetry.

And it’s glorious. By which I mean, of course, that it’s gloriously awful.

Yesterday, while poking around the internet in my usual manner, I ran across an amazing little discussion on, an online hangout for PUAs who have for some reason added an M to their usual acronym.

A PUA going by the name bob2 announced to his Comrades in Sarging that he was planning on starting a “a pickup poetry blog.” That is, a blog providing PUA wisdom to the Average Frustrated Chumps of the world in the form of little poems. As he explained:

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Win A Date With a Red Pill Douchebag (Plus bonus Taylor Swift/Ninch Inch Nails mashup video)

I found this video on the alternately entertaining and infuriating Blue Pill subreddit, devoted to mocking Red Pill horribleness. In it, a perfectly nice young woman relates a comically terrible date with a dude who’s obviously been reading too many Red Pill/PUA websites.

Ironically, she went out with him because he sent her a note about Taylor Swift. I’m sure he thought it was a super-clever neg. Unaware that she was dealing with a massive shithead, she thought that he, like her, actually liked Taylor Swift. I guess that’s what she gets for not assuming that all guys are shitheads?

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Women who text men on their birthdays are “wicked mindf*ckers who get off stringing betas along,” says PUA doucheburger

Apparently you can write whatever you want on these fake text message generators

Apparently you can write whatever you want on these fake text message generators

Men, beware! The woman who just texted you “happy birthday” isn’t a nice person wishing you a “happy birthday.” She is, rather, a demoness from hell. Or at the very least a creepy “attention whore tease” who won’t let you into her pants.

According to racist shitbag “game” blogger Heartiste, any woman who texts men on special occasions “is a cocktease in digital form” trying to make sure you remain one of her “beta orbiter … cuckubines,” which is his fancy way of saying “friend.”

As he sees it, these dastardly Special Occasion Texters (SOTs) have only bad reasons to text dudes on special days. The SOT may be doing some routine “Beta Orbiter Maintainance.”

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Has pickup guru Heartiste ever actually been in the same room as a human vagina?

Not pictured: Human vagina.

Pitcher plants. Not pictured: Human vaginas.

There’s a famous scene in 40 Year Old Virgin where Steve Carrell’s character inadvertently reveals his complete lack of sexual experience with women (not that there’s anything wrong with that) by suggesting that a women’s breast “feels like a bag of sand.”

I sometimes find myself wondering if some of the guys I write about here have ever actually been in the presence of a naked woman. I mean, sure, it’s not really that surprising that a committed vagina-avoider like the legendary Man Going His Own Way known as Christopher in Oregon would write about women in general, and their vaginas in particular, as if they were stinky alien creatures from Planet Yuckygirls.

But it’s a little weirder when someone who claims to be an expert on the female mind and body describes, for example, the human vagina in ways that seem to suggest that he’s never actually been in the same room with one.

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The British teenager who tried to kill 3 women because no one will date him has fans. But that’s not the scariest thing about him.

Ben Moynihan, adapted from the photo he sent police, and which led to his arrest

Ben Moynihan, adapted from the photo he sent police, and which led to his arrest

[CONTENT WARNING: Misogynistic violence, rape apologia]

His complaint was a familiar one:

I think every girl is a type of slut, they are fussy with men nowadays, they do not give boys like us a chance.

You can find nearly identical laments in the profiles of self-described “nice guys” on OkCupid, on Men’s Rights blogs, and on forums for self-described “Incels” comisserating about their “involuntary celibacy” and what they see as the shallowness of young women.

But these words actually come from a video filmed by Ben Moynihan, a British teenager who was convicted of attempted murder earlier this week after stabbing three women in an attempt to take a sort of revenge upon the “weaker” gender he felt had made his life miserable by denying him sex. Another young man trying to punish women with violence for the “crime” of not dating him.

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Red Pill Alpha Dog Tip of the Day: Totally dominate hot babes by scheduling your texts for later!

Make her wait for your tweets, LIKE A BOSS

Make her wait for your tweets, LIKE A BOSS

The Alpha Dogs on the Red Pill Subreddit are totally taking “text game” to the next level.

You know how it is when a Hot Babe 8 texts you and you start typing out a reply because, you know, that’s what people do when they get texts, and then you get ready to click “send” because that’s how you send texts? DON’T DO IT! SENDING TEXTS WHEN YOU WRITE THEM IS TOTALLY BETA.

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When an Alpha Male 2.0 comfort bombards a Type 2 VYW: A Somewhat Horrifying Red Pill Glossary

This will make more sense after you read the post, I think.

This will make more sense after you read the post, I think.

Is your love life lacking acronyms and made-up words?

In love, as in every other aspect of life (except perhaps talking to cats), it pays to increase your word power. Happily for all of us I have discovered a wondrous Red Pill Glossary on Black Dragon Blog (tagline: “Love Women While Staying Free”), which includes a wide assortment of terms that will be new even to the most advanced Alpha.

Most would-be PUAs (Pickup Artists) can tell an AFC (Average Frustrated Chump) from a DHV (Demonstration of Higher Value). But here are few other acronyms you may not have encountered:

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Vox Day: Actually, it’s about keeping women out of gaming

Vox Day: Defending video gaming against icky girls

Vox Day: Defending video gaming against icky girls

Leave it to Vox Day, the proudly reactionary sci-fi author and game developer, to say what most of his #GamerGate comrades spend so much energy denying: that their little movement is at least in part a backlash against women in gaming. At least against real women, with their own opinions.

As Vox writes in a post on his Alpha Game blog,

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Charles Manson, dating coach?

Charles Manson, Alpha Male of the Cell block?

Charles Manson, Alpha Male of the Cell block?

So the Associated Press is reporting that Charles Manson, everyone’s favorite orchestrator of mass murder, is planning to marry. His future bride is a 26-year-old groupie who’s been trying to convince the world for nine years that Charlie is innocent.

According to one self-proclaimed dating expert and regular contributor to Return of Kings, the fact that “the 80-year-old murderer is marrying a hotter girl than [nice guys will] ever get,” is proof that guys need to start channelling their own inner Charles Manson in order to become the “bad boy” that women really go for.

As “Trouble Maker” puts it,

This woman is just an extreme case, but her actions in this case largely represent the way woman act as a whole. There is just no resisting the panty moistening allure of the bad boy for them. …

She’s definitely cute, at least in these pictures being spread around by the media. …

Meanwhile, the stable computer programmer is left running macros on POF [Plenty of Fish] in hopes that he catches a whale.

I actually sort of hope that would-be pickup artists start tattooing swastikas on their foreheads. It would make them a lot easier to identify at a glance.


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