Search Results for mgtow
>Screw you gals, I’m going home!
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| Atlas Tugged (Charles Atlas vs. the Rockettes.) |
I guess it shouldn’t really be surprising how widespread the Atlas Shrugged fantasy is in the weird world of the mansophere. The fantasy, that is, that if the truly important people in society get fed up and simply stop working, the whole society will collapse in a heap. There are two things that are inherently funny when Men Going Their Own Way start spouting off on this particular subject. One, of course, is the fact that this fantasy was originally articulated by an, er, woman — a small, stern, Russian-born intellectual dominatrix and husband-cuckolder who went by the made-up name of Ayn Rand. Two, is the fact that the MGTOWs honestly think that they are the world’s Atlases rather than a bunch of insignificant internet whiners.
Still, the would-be Atlases of the manosphere do sometimes manage to fluff up this tired old fantasy with some inventive new ideas of their own. Consider the recent advice given by dad_savage on the Antimisandry.com message boards. dad starts out with a fairly standard-issue articulation of the MGTOW Shrugs fantasy:
The Government calculates tax on a basis of expecting men to earn many times more than they need to simply live. Men only do this if there are incentives; the no.1 incentives are women and community respect; Feminism will take these away, and men will stop working hard to obtain them. Feminism, indeed all liberalism, will be starved of the revenue it must have. Women will no longer be subsidized to live fairy-tail lives benefiting from male largess whether directly through husbands, sugar daddies, Johns or indirectly through the state-as-husband. Women are financially, physically and emotionally dependant on men so all we need to do is cut them off.
Fairy-tail? I’m pretty sure fairies have wings, not tails. In any case, dad_savage contends that the jig will be up for the ladies sometimes in the next ten years. He hopes to speed up the process a little bit by offering some specific “tips for living a fun life and fighting feminism in the most effective way possible.” Here they are:
Get a Public Sector job, or do ‘Women’s Work’ – Try working as a Garbage Man, Mail Man, or some other Council or State position. … most Government employees are women so you’ll have a lot of chance to practise game, and antagonize them by refusing to be a mangina. … Working in the public sector or in a female-dominated industry ensures that your not feeding the beast, but in reality sucking its blood, and will benefit from sexist policies and tax-funnelling subsidies designed to improve the lot of the workers in these female-dominated areas.
Be Rich, Scrape By or Play Robin Hood – Either earn just enough money to enjoy the lifestyle you desire (and think about what it is you really need!) or be a somebody so that you can use clever accounting to maximize the amount of tax you dodge. …
He’s got some odder ideas as well:
Use cunning and intelligence to discern those forces truly destructive to feminism, and aid them. Islamic organizations for example do untold damage to feminist aspirations, Sharia courts in the UK are for example rebalancing some divorce-based iniquity, and Muslims can hide behind accusations of racism just as effectively as feminist’s can behind sexism.
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| MGTOW patron saint? |
And when you tire of demonstrating for the imposition of Sharia law, buy some porn and hire a hooker:
A thing need not be ‘activism based,’ to have an activist effect; pornography, prostitution and other forms of sexual proxy are powerful kinds of activism available to men as they make going your own way more accessible especially to young libidinous men.
This next big of advice is a tad, well, convoluted, but seems rock-solid otherwise:
Tell The Truth, And Let Reason Guide – An example, you let a woman off the train before you holding the door for her, and she doesn’t thank you. Annoyed you stomp past her, and exiting the station you’re looked over by a rough looking youth with an air of being up to no good, but he leaves you alone. You’re sure he’s a mugger, and will probably go after the woman who is coming along behind you. Now let’s say you chose to help, would you do it for the opportunity to redress her for her rudeness earlier? ‘You didn’t even thank me for holding the door open, but had I not been that kind of man I wouldn’t have come back to help, can you not understand why you should appreciate such sentiment?’ seems fair to me. On the flipside you could chose not to help (the choice is of course your own once you’ve weighed the pros and cons in a way that seems wise to you) or you could help if you like on the basis that she’s attractive, and demand her phone number as payment (I see nothing wrong with this) the point is don’t help just because.
So to sum up:
1) Get a job at the DMV or somewhere else in the public sector, and pester the women who are working there.
2) Either earn nothing or become a rich tax dodger.
3) Support Sharia law
4) Buy porn and hire hookers
5) If a woman is rude to you when you’re getting off a train, and then she gets mugged, rescue her just so you can tell her off afterwards, or maybe get her number. Or don’t rescue her.
I don’t know about you, but to me this sounds like a foolproof plan.
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*Yes, that was a Bioshock reference. Oddly appropriate given the subject matter.
>Disorganized atheistic rectal sodomizing feminists of the world unite!
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More from The Ghost Nation, a sort of MGTOW-ish site that hates MGTOW. And “rectal sodomites” and, well, a long list of others.
When novelist-turned-film-critic James Agee saw Bill and Coo, a feature-length 1948 film starring nothing but trained birds, he described it as “by conservative estimate, the God-damndest thing ever seen.” I believe that title may now belong to The Ghost Nation. Here’s a useful list from the site detailing The Personality Traits of Feminists:
If you are a feminist, you do not sincerely believe in God, you endorse Zionism, rectal sodomites, violence, police brutality, are two-faced, a liar, treacherous, a prospective adulterer, swear a lot, disorganized, vulgar, angry, a hacker and cybercriminal, untrustworthy, unfair, unjust, you share private information, are a misandrist, you commit blackmail and extortion, you are unpatriotic, you do not support the Constitution, are not humble, you hate straight whitey, have an erratic temperament, raise your voice to get a point across, are a sexual deviant, sadistic, violent, manipulative, fake friendships, enthusiastically associate with criminals, Zionists, sociopaths and psychopaths, cheat, are worthless and nonconstructive, are anti-heterosexual, heterophobic, atheist, agnostic, engage in gang-stalking, promote ugliness and scatology, do not respect other’s privacy, and do not believe that all rectal sodomites are homosexuals.
Hmm. I’ll just go through the list item by item: Yes, not exactly, yes, depends, no, no, no, no, no, yes, yes, yes, sometimes, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, erratic or … erotic?, sometimes, yes, maybe a little, sometimes, not really, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, yes, no, ugliness not really but scatology sometimes, no, yes.
I hope I didn’t leave out any answers and inadvertently make myself out to be a blackmailing gang-stalking adulterous cybercriminal rather than a humble disorganized agnostic who is friendly towards rectal sodomites and, really, sodomites generally.
So how many of the personality traits apply to you, dear readers?
Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t believe me about Bill and Coo, here is a clip of this exceedingly WTF film masterpiece:
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>She’s so fine, there’s no tellin’ where the money went
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| The epitome of White Womanhood? |
So recently I stumbled across a blog and forum called The Ghost Nation. It’s truly scary. I would describe it as “MGTOW meets lunatic racist right wing conspiracy theory,” except that the people (person?) behind it think that MGTOW are a bunch of “atheists, rectal sodomites, criminals, dirtbags, black supremacists, jewish supremacists, misogynists and zionists.”
The topics on The Ghost Nation forum are a bit more, er, varied than those on your typical MGTOW forum. MGTOW types are generally preoccupied with the topic of what dirty whores women are. The Ghost Nation regulars devote attention to that always important topic, but also manage to find time to discuss such things as evil Zionists, BMX biking, and popular music. For example, the head dude behind The Ghost Nation has some highly original notions about the video for Robert Palmer’s song Simply Irresistible:
Notice all the women are White with no tats and natural boobs. The end of the USA was 1986. MTV was bought by Viacom in 1986 and this video was the last promoting the White race done in 1988. Since then Aw [American women] have turned into fat, nasty, tat plastered fake boobed slobs. Simply Irresistible was such a hit that the Zionists panicked and started something called Yo MTV Raps in 1988. From that point on straight White males were bashed in the media. It’s been many years since I saw the video but I get it now. You see Zionists are so insecure that they have to destroy what is beautiful. They do this on purpose. There is nothing more beautiful then tall White women without tats or fake boobs. Members here know this but younger generations don’t. MTV promotes ugly female midgets these days like on Jersey Shore.
Are Robert Palmer’s dancers a better representation of White Womanhood than Snooki? How much makeup is too much makeup? Was Robert Palmer truly the world’s most debonair man? Watch the video and judge for yourself:
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>Now I ain’t sayin’ she’s a gold digger
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Manosphere men often complain about evil women attempting to drain them of their money. To which there really is a very simple solution: If you don’t want a girlfriend or wife who expects you to support her, don’t seek out women who expect you to support them.
This seems like a fairly common-sense strategy, and one that would simple enough for even the dullest of man boobz to remember. But apparently it has proved a little hard to put into practice.
For evidence of this, let’s return to our good friend Nightstorm — you know, the mousetrap-vagina, leech-women in the food court of doom guy on NiceGuy’s MGTOW forum. He’s back with another posting called “The List,“which is a list — naturally — of
the soul draining demands a woman puts on a man once their together. He MUST do these things to “make the relationship work”
The list is long, loopy, whiny, and filled with ridiculous things that MGTOWs and many MRAs tend to imagine that all women demand of all men (“Open all doors before and after for her”), but which have not actually been a part of any relationship I’ve ever been in. Aside from some complaints that are ridiculously petty (“Go to borning [sic] family out-goings”) and some that are weird paranoid fantasies (“You get your penis size and bed performance revealed to the sisterhood. Oh yes, their not laughing with you!”), the complaints come back, again and again, to money:
Pay for dinner …
Buying her yet another useless item she doesn’t need, like shoes or a brand new car ….
You get to pay for the privledge of being with this woman. …
You get to work while she lays around the house doing nothing. …
She can have the government garnish your wages to pay her just for being the female spouse. … You get to feel like the worthless scum you are and pay her for telling you that you are.
I’m not even sure what the fuck he’s even talking about with half of this shit.
But, again, there really is a simple solution to all these money issues. I’ll say it again, in bold this time: If you don’t want a girlfriend or wife who expects you to support her, don’t seek out women who expect you to support them.
This, evidently, is where Nightstorm’s grand strategy has gone a bit awry.
For, as I discovered from another posting of his from a few days back, it turns out that Nightstorm’s plan to totally avoid evil leech-like women apparently entails spending many hours flirting with women online. Indeed, he included a long transcript of an online chat he’d recently had with an (alleged) 18-year-old (alleged) girl who’d evidently decided after a couple of online chats that she wanted to be his girlfriend, despite the fact that the two of them have never actually met and in fact live in different states. (Hey, women can be idiots too.)
Nightstorm (posting as “shawnz”) decided they needed to set down the terms of their relationship, and began by asking her what she thought she brought to the relationship. She jokingly suggested: herself, her “sexy hair,” and her vagina.
[20:54] shawnz: if you become my GF..
[20:54] shawnz: I will get you, your sexy hair, and your vagina
[20:55] shawnz: and what do you expect out of me …
[20:55] [name redacted]: ur penis ur cuddles and ur texting/calling/being on cam and coming to visit!
[20:55] shawnz: ok, anything else
[20:56] [name redacted]: nope
That seems pretty straightforward. No mention of “family out-goings” or even paying for dinner.
Nightstorm then set out his terms for the relationship:
[20:58] shawnz: First, I want a girl who cooks and cleans the house, I want someone who doesn’t nag, cripe
[20:58] shawnz: bitch, or complain, someone who cuddles and anytime I want sex
[20:58] shawnz: someone who has ambition
[20:58] [name redacted]: demanding arent we lol
[20:58] shawnz: and someone who wants more than just love in the relationship, after all its hard work
Demanding, to be sure, lol, but he offers some things in return:
[20:59] shawnz: and what I offer is romance, a good paying salary for provision, and intimacy
[20:59] shawnz: I also offer you good self-esteem and reliability and faithfulness
Let’s pause for a moment to consider that bit in the middle after “romance”: “a good paying salary for provision.”
The two haven’t even met, and he’s already offering to support her financially.
It appears Nightstorm not only has not only bungled the whole “don’t pursue women who expect you to support them” strategy I have outlined above. He’s actually OFFERING TO SUPPORT A WOMAN WHO DOESN’T ACTUALLY EXPECT HIM TO SUPPORT HER.
It seems to me that if you want a woman who is financially dependent on you — you provide the money, she provides “anytime [you] want sex” — you pretty much forfeit your right to complain about her being financially dependent on you.
Fortunately for Nightstorm, [name redacted], and the rest of us on this planet, he decided that [name redacted] wasn’t serious enough to be his girlfriend. So, crisis averted. For now.
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>Pay no attention to the man behind the turntables
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| He’s up to his neck in pussy, no doubt. |
So the fellows over on NiceGuy’s MGTOW forum are discussing why women seem to like DJs — sorry, “why a womyn so crazy about DJs?” Because that’s what Men Going Their Own Way like to do: spend all their time speculating about the details of the dating lives of the women that they totally don’t want to have anything to do with.
I can’t answer for the, er, womyn, but last year I had a date with a woman who did a bit of DJing, and considering that I’m sort of a music obsessive her DJing seemed maybe just a tiny bit, you know, cool?
But apparently for the womyn it’s all about status. Also, women are apparently extremely stupid. According to the going-his-own-way-dude Iron John:
Womyn are focused always on two things 1) The immediate situation, as they lack foresight and hindsight, 2) Immediate foodchain. So when they find themselves in a night club they are looking for immediate indications of status. What do they see? A single individual who gets to control the music, lights, etc. They don’t see the artists that created this stuff ahead of time, the business men who owns the establishment, or the bankers who collect the profits. The see just one man who appears to be running everything. They can’t see anything else so to them it does not exist. Since that one man is in control of their immediate environment he MUST be the, “alpha male”. And we all know what girls think of him.
Yeah, that must be it. That’s why, whenever they get on a bus, women immediately start throwing themselves at the bus driver. He’s driving the thing! Obvious Alpha! Or why when they go to a convenience store, they throw themselves at the clerk. He controls access to the shriveled hot dogs and lottery tickets! Obvious Alpha! Or why, whenever they get into elevators, they throw themselves at the elevator buttons. They control where the elevator goes! Obvious Alpha.
I just wish I understood women as well as these guys.
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>Leech Women in the Food Court of Doom
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| Women in search of prey. |
Back by popular demand, here’s more Nightstorm. We’ve already heard his theories about the Mousetrap vagina. Now we see his nightmare vision of … men and women going shopping at the mall. Of course, I hate shopping with women — and, for that matter, men — as much as the next guy, but Nightstorm takes it to a whole other level:
Imagine a man who is walking in the mall. Browsing. Through the food stores figuring out what to eat. As he stands there pondering, the camera pans left to reveal his back. Mounted and glued is the fattest moda fucking slug you ever seen! It has no form but that of a leach and you could almost mistake it for a backpack.
The slug whispers things in the mans ear. The man smiles. The slug then begins to direct the man where to go while sucking on the mans neck, draining of him of his life force.
Suddenly another male who is in the mall, also browsing for food comes by. He too, has this same slug like creature on his back. Both males converse in conversation while the 2 slugs look absolutely hostile towards one another. They cling harder to their host and begin to hiss at one another, afraid it will steal its host and leave it hang to dry.
Yes, the entire livelyhood of the slug is at risk,so it hisses at the other ready to bite its head off. Soon it whispers to the man it doesn’t want to eat here, and that’s how men part ways because there gf told them to.
Wasn’t this a David Cronenberg movie?
Seriously, Nightstorm, stop wasting your time on MGTOW websites and start churning out scripts for horror movies. I would totally watch this shit, and I’m not even kidding. You’ve got a GIFT, son!
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>The Mousetrap Vagina
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We return again to a young up-and-comer on NiceGuy’s MGTOW forum, a fellow calling himself Nightstorm. Though a proud virgin, Nightstorm has some highly advanced theories about vaginas and the women who host them:
Its almost like a mouse trap is on a womans vagina, where when a men has to carefully insert his penis hoping not to spring the trap. If he is successful, he gets a free ride. If he is like most men, unsucessful, the trap springs, claps his penis into the vagina of the woman, and soon poisnous venom streams from her vagina and injects itself into the male genital.
This poison then creeps into the male brain and literally makes him stupid, it shuts down his intellect, and activates all his hormones for more pussy. She’s got the bastard. Now she can slowly but surely take all his wealth and keep pumping more poison into him. The man feels trapped, he can’t remove his penis from the vagina for the life of him, but he enjoys that pussy, so he continues to let himself get robbed.
Emphasis added.
It’s astounding that he’s able to discern so much about vaginas despite having had no actual contact with them since the moment of his birth.
Luckily for him, and luckily for the women of the world, Nightstorm has no plans to acquire any hands-on (or, more precisely, penis-in) experience with vaginas in the near future. In a later comment, he spells out some of the reasons for his continued abstinence (besides the whole poison-mousetrap thing): fear of STDs, fear of pregnancy, and fear of, well, this scenario:
if she was a virgin, how I would have to deal with the hassle of possible bleeding. Its not so hott when I make her spew red and white blood cells all over the sheets and doing it in the bathtub would required poor foreplay and not comfortable or roomy space. If she is a heavy weight girl, then there goes my bathtub, broken.
And if if, say, he’s somehow able to avoid the perils of STDs, pregnancy, icky blood and a broken bathtub, then what?
Well, then I would have to deal with her wanting more in the relationship, such as meeting her family, or perhaps even paying her for it, or her expecting some sort of “favor” in return for sex which we both equally enjoyed.
Yeah, nothing ruins a nice evening of dipping your penis in a bloody, poison-infused mousetrap like the owner of said mousetrap asking you to meet her parents.
EDITED TO ADD: Sometimes people complain that I focus on the weird fringes of the MGTOW world. Thing is, within the MGTOW world, these things aren’t regarded as weird or fringey. Indeed, one of the comments I quoted above from Nightstorm was just highlighted on MarkyMark’s blog as an example of MGTOW thinking at its finest:
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: we truly have some of the BEST & BRIGHTEST men in the world on there [that is, on NicGuy's MGTOW forum]! What you’re about to read will provide yet more proof of that.Anyway, NowhereMan & Nightstorm were discussing CNN piece about how men supposedly have the upper hand in sexual matters. What they say is gold, pure gold! It’s stuff that my boys should read and heed. …
Even if you’re not religious, there are PRACTICAL reasons for avoiding sex with women. The most important of these is to keep your power. Sex is a woman’s ‘nuclear option'; take that away, and you take away a woman’s power over you.
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>Beware the jackbooted feminazi marriage thugs!
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The denizens of the Happy Bachelors forum, always alert for possible threats to their Happy Bachelorhood, seem to have discovered a new one: Evil feminists “enslav[ing] men through forced marriage.”
That might sound a bit like the plot of an old episode of Futurama, but apparently the threat is all too real. Artbunker sounded the alarm in a recent posting:
What if women and manginias in power pass a law to make men marry with women?
Hear him out, guys:
[M]ore and more guys are truly waking up to the no marriage to Western Women concept. It’s a small but growing fact. We already know feminist have made it harder fro Eastern European women to come over here and probably in other countries as well.
If they can get laws passed for that how much longer till they start going after single men? How much longer till they want to make sure single women with kids are paired with single men for “the betterment of the children?” because the single man makes a good wage to support her and her family.
Why would this be necessary, you may ask. Aren’t there a lot of simps and manginias doing this already, of their own volition?
Sure there still a lot of simps and manginias that dont mind doing this already without a law sure. But we know these women really want guys who have the economic power to provide them the lifestyle they want. A lot of simps and manginias today cannot provide that for them .They want the guys with the big checks whom they know wont chose them.
Yes, all the fantastically wealthy movers and shakers who spend all their time trading stories about how evil women are on the MGTOW message boards of America.
Longshot39 suggested one (somewhat familiar) way to resist the jackbooted feminazi marriage thugs:
A man with any sense could still refuse to marry, at least in the traditional sense. Just get another MGTOW friend and marry them, like was said in another thread. Even if a person were required by law to live in the same house, having your friend as a roommate would still be a HUGE improvement over being forced to marry some womb turd with little thuglits.
To be sure, not everyone on the Happy Bachelors forum is convinced such a danger is imminent. The always logical spocksdisciple responded:
There won’t be forced marriage, as women want the earning power of the beta but ‘gina tingle factor of the thug/bad boy. Instead what the gov’t will do is simply start to garnish the wages of single men with selective taxation and “fees.”
And if any men resist the New Girl Order by not earning enough, well, naturally they’ll just be forced into labor camps:
These labor camps would come into existence under some economic pretext set up by gov’t. One such pretext is that unemployed or underemployed people(ie men) of a certain age range say 18-40, would be very useful to the government as labor for various federal projects. …
Of course women would be exempt because they’ll have some beta or stooge on standby for marriage and they would claim “gender oppression” should women be inducted into such camps. …
These camps would be run under the auspices of FEMA and would be painted to be “emergency support facilities”, note that some form of this type of forced and indentured labor already as come back in the form in prison chain gangs which were all but abolished by the 1950s-60s but made a comeback in the late 90s.
But hey, still beats being married — amirite, fellas?
All joking aside, I feel that one thing we can all agree upon here at Man Boobz is that the fine gentlemen at Happy Bachelors should not be marrying anyone any time soon, either voluntarily or as a result of evil feminist legislation. So I ask the women reading this post now to pledge publicly, in a comment below, that they personally will not marry anyone on the Happy Bachelors forum, even if they are required by law to do so.
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*Yes, that was a Bioshock reference.
>How feminism accidentally liberates teh menz!
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| Charles Atlas is sick of this shit. |
It seems I have been suffering from a misapprehension. I have been assuming that pretty much every single last guy in the Men Going Their Own Way crowd just hates, hates HATES feminism. But apparently I am wrong, and some of them — well, at least one of them — really loves, loves LOVES it. That guy calls himself womanhater, and he recently posted about his deep appreciation for feminism on the MGTOW proboards forum.
Brace yourself, because there are a few gigantic logical zigs and zags coming here.
Womanhater starts off his post with a bold, contrarian statement:
We ghosters have been falsely accused of hating feminism. Nothing could be further from the truth! In fact, feminism has been the greatest liberation of men since the end of feudalism.
Whaaaaaa!? How so, womanhater?
In the past, men obtained employment and pursued a career. This involved soul crushing conformity, precious hours of our lives spent in inhuman working conditions supporting unconscionable corporate interests while paying confiscatory taxes. We were denied sex by fat shrews who had duped us into marrying them with no hope of escape, and we were nagged incessantly by those same diabolical beasts with whom we had to share living quarters.
Soul-crushing conformity! No-sex-having shrews! Sounds like this situation was truly teh suck. So what changed?
Then, it all began to change. The women who had dominated our deeply empty consumerist lives declared us to be the enemy, abandoned their traditional domain of the home, outsourced the raising of children, and began to compete with us for jobs thereby lowering our economic value.
That also sounds like teh suck. But no! in fact, womanhater explains,
The man-haters like Steinem and Friedan and Dworkin had in fact done us an enormous favor!
We were freed from OUR bondage to the home. We no longer had to work for money solely to provide a home. We no longer had to tolerate nagging cunts who extorted us by manipulating our sexual desire. We were FREE!
Sounds great! Let’s round up some hot chicks and have a party!
Oh, wait.
Womanhater continues:
Women have criminalized our showing interest in them and in attempting to engage them sexually. Good! Now we are free to avoid them. They have repeatedly told us how useless we are, and how we are wrong. Fine. They can have the university educations and get the bullshit managerial jobs where they oppress the men who actually do the work. So much the better! They can live in their little townhomes and tend their cats all alone freed from men. And we are now free from having to work in soul crushing corporate environments in order to placate the bitch at home.
All us dudes need to do to take advantage of our new freedom is to deliberately take shit jobs and completely ignore all women.
We can now live off the grid – intentionally avoiding working with or for women. We can make enough money to live frugally and happily on our own, while intentionally earning too little to pay taxes.
Aw yeah! And don’t assume just because we take shit jobs that we aren’t really the bestest guys in the fucking universe, much better than mere women.
Among our ranks you will find men with the intellect to be engineers and physicians who instead flip burgers and park cars. You will find men with the physical strength and courage and wits to be military leaders and ferocious warriors – who instead of risking their lives for the benefit of a state that hates them, now paint houses or mow lawns. We men have found that we are infinitely more happy alone in a studio apartment or living communally with other men for very little money, than we were killing ourselves to provide a bullshit Brady Bunch lifestyle in the suburbs for the greedy twat.
But, gosh, what will happen to society once all these magnificent dudes take their marbles and go home?
Women and their conspirators in the halls of power will soon find out … When men are no longer willing to work at the level needed to finance the social programs that favor women, what will happen? When men are no longer willing to enlist in the military to become amputees for the benefit of a state that despises them and to make the world safe for corporate looting, what will happen? When men simply fade away, own nothing, contribute nothing, and merely watch smiling as the world burns, what will happen?My brothers, we are soon to find out!
OMFG! It’s almost as though — bear with me for a moment here while I work out this metaphor. It’s almost as though these dudes are like Atlas — not Charles Atlas, silly, you know, that Greek dude — holding up the world, and then all of a sudden they say “screw you guys, I’m going home.” And then everyone is like, oh noe! What’s going to happen to the world! And then the dudes are all like, *shrug.* Not my problem! C-ya, suckers!
That is such a perfect metaphor. Much better than anything some dumb bitch could come up with. You guys are totally free to use it if you like.
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*Yes, that was a Bioshock reference.
>The ugly diva crisis … solved!
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| She’s out of your league, pal! |
You may recall a little ditty from days gone by called “If you wanna be happy.” The song, the one hit of one-hit-wonder Jimmy Soul, was a song with a message for men in love. That message? Well, if my mere mentioning of the song hasn’t already gotten it stuck in your head, let me remind you of its basic thesis:
If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you
Why is this? Well, put simply, pretty women are entitled bitches who will ruin your life and break your heart, while ugly women will be so grateful for your attention that they’ll treat you well and prepare meals in a timely fashion:
A pretty woman makes her husband look small
And very often causes his downfall
As soon as he married her and then she starts
To do the things that will break his heart
But if you make an ugly woman your wife
A-you’ll be happy for the rest of your life
An ug-a-ly woman cooks meals on time
And she’ll always give you peace of mind
By “piece of mind,” I believe Mr. Soul is referring to “blowjobs.”
But, alas, this simple formula for male happiness has been rendered ineffective. And it’s all the fault of evil manginas. A fellow called Lincoln, posting on NiceGuy’s MGTOW forum, reports that these dastardly woman-worshipping half-men have upset the old order by actively pursuing ugly women and making them think they’re all that. The horror! All this mangina attention has given
even the most ugliest man faced mountain beasts [an] overinflated sense of their own self-importance, and the net result is the most repulsive, vile, and ill-tempered skanks you could ever meet. Even now I can’t understand it, I can’t even look at these women much less want to bang them, but there it is. It’s already a given that the really attractive ones will of course behave the same way, but if even the ugliest ones behave like prima donnas, who’s left?
It seems an unsolvable dilemma. But Lincoln believes he’s found a way out: amputees.
The ideal is to find a beautiful woman that no mangina wants. it’s possible, but they usually have some kind of trait that puts men off for sometimes the fucking stupidest reason. One example was this one armed woman I knew of once. She had lost her arm in a car accident, and she was the sweetest, most kindest girl you could have met, but for some reason guys weren’t lining up the door for her. Stupid. If I ran across her again I wouldn’t hesitate to ask her out.
Love will always find a way.
If you now need to get “If you wanna be happy” out of your head, this ought to do it:
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