Search Results for heartiste

PUA douchebag Heartiste: “A typical American fatty has no chance against a sexbot with a pretty face [and] a slender BMI.”

Sexbots: The early years

Sexbots: The early years

The success of the Channel 4 renegade-robot drama Humans — playing on AMC in the US — has gotten people talking again about what some see as the key question of our time:

Robots: How soon can we start having sex with them?

One of the more ardent cheerleaders of the coming “sexbotopia” is our old friend Heartiste, the floridly racist and woman-hating “pickup guru.” Weirdly, given his enthusiasm for the subject, he doesn’t seem all that interested in indulging in robot love himself. But he can’t stop chortling about the potential misery he thinks sexbots will cause for non-robot women. Read the rest of this entry

Pickup artist “Heartiste” seems to think the notion of “playing hard to get” was his idea in the first place

The combination of

The combination of “playing hard to get” and Dacron slacks once again proves irresistible to women.

Heartiste — the pompous racist shitbag and alleged pickup artist of great renown —  is feeling a bit boastful again.

In a post yesterday, he links to a two-year-old Business Insider post with the clickbaity title 12 Scientifically Proven Ways To Make Yourself More Attractive To The Opposite Sex. He’s interested in Scientifically Proven Way #8: “Men should play hard to get.” Read the rest of this entry

Heartiste: Pick up prole chicks using ingenious “logo” ploy!

Hey, prole chicks!

Hey, prole chicks!

The We Hunted the Mammoth Pledge Drive is almost over! If you haven’t already, please consider sending some bucks my way. (The PayPal page will say you are donating to Man Boobz.) Thanks!

Heartiste, of the Chateau Heartiste, isn’t just an unending source of ludicrously overcooked, try-hard bromides against fatties, liberals and “vibrants,” his favored term of art for people whose skin isn’t white. No, once in a while the alleged pickup artist actually gives out some advice on how to score with the HBs of the world.

Today, he’s got some amazing advice on how to pick up “red state prole chicks.” Well, “amazing” in the sense that videos of people popping infected cysts using rusty nails in their backyard are “amazing” — that is, gross and wrong but you can’t look away.

Anyway, brace yourself, because the master is about to unload a tip worth its weight in pus:

Here’s the trick, should you find yourself deep in bucolic red territory: Deck yourself out in a piece of clothing or an accessory with insignia that clearly identifies some media, fashion, or arty conglomerate.  …

Cute prole girls are salt of the earth, but they love the fantasy of the blue city alpha male with connections and a social calender bursting with fruit flavor. Dat “expert from afar” feel. Wearing something that signals you work for one of those dream companies, true or not, is a honey cock trap for inexperienced naifs.

Huh. I still have an umbrella with the Money magazine logo on it from when I used to work there. (In my defense, it was free.) I had no idea it could be used in HB acquisition.

BRB, booking a flight to Alabama.

WE HUNTED THE MAMMOTH FRIDAY CHALLENGE: Work the phrase “honey cock trap” into conversation.

Pickup guru Heartiste launches innovative “well, you’re ugly and you can’t get laid” campaign against feminists

Psst, dudes, the sufragettes won.

Psst, dudes, the sufragettes won.

Fellas, make up your minds! Are feminist ladies wily seductresses out to entrap innocent men using the power of their sexiness? Or are they evil uggos who never get laid?

While the zeta males over at A Voice for Men lament their alleged victimization at the hands of an alleged undercover feminist honey trap, who allegedly lured them into skeezy behavior by, among other things, crossing and uncrossing her legs, our old friend Heartiste once again assures his readers that feminist ladies are icky fugs:

A powerful shiv to the bloated gut of feminism is to remind normal, attractive women of the gross, ugly, and deranged feminist women (and their effete male lackeys) who purport to speak for all women. Women are nothing if not herd followers, and if it’s made clear to the Normal Majority of women that feminists are unbangable fugs no worthwhile man would touch with a manlet’s micropeen, then the herd will change course and leave the losers in its dust.

Hate to break it to you, dude, but you’re not the first person to try to defeat feminism using the brilliant strategy of calling feminists ugly. It never works.

Has pickup guru Heartiste ever actually been in the same room as a human vagina?

Not pictured: Human vagina.

Pitcher plants. Not pictured: Human vaginas.

There’s a famous scene in 40 Year Old Virgin where Steve Carrell’s character inadvertently reveals his complete lack of sexual experience with women (not that there’s anything wrong with that) by suggesting that a women’s breast “feels like a bag of sand.”

I sometimes find myself wondering if some of the guys I write about here have ever actually been in the presence of a naked woman. I mean, sure, it’s not really that surprising that a committed vagina-avoider like the legendary Man Going His Own Way known as Christopher in Oregon would write about women in general, and their vaginas in particular, as if they were stinky alien creatures from Planet Yuckygirls.

But it’s a little weirder when someone who claims to be an expert on the female mind and body describes, for example, the human vagina in ways that seem to suggest that he’s never actually been in the same room with one.

Read the rest of this entry

The West is like a stupid white girl who goes home with a black guy: Heartiste and his racist fans warn white “ethnomasochists” of the danger of “ebola laced black men.”

"The result -- racial pride dwindles." Nazi propaganda poster that would not be out of place on Chateau Heartiste

“The result — racial pride dwindles.” Nazi propaganda poster that would not be out of place on Chateau Heartiste

Not content with simply being a misogynist piece of poop, the “game” guru Heartiste is also, among other terrible things, a flaming racist given to hyperventilating about the alleged civilization-destroying powers of people with skin darker than his – and the alleged naiveté of white people who aren’t as racist as he is.

In one recent post, Heartiste awarded “freelance comment of the week” status to a racist rant posted on his site by someone calling himself Anton Chigurh, who thinks Western countries are being wimpy about ebola because they don’t want to offend Africans and seem racist.

“Chigurh” made his, er, argument in possibly the most racist manner imaginable:

Read the rest of this entry

Pickup guru Heartiste: If a woman rejects you, tell her you weren’t interested anyway so there TOTAL ALPHA MOVE!

Yeah, well you're a slut anyway, you stupid grapes.

Yeah, well you’re a slut anyway, you stupid bunch of grapes.

Who knew Aesop’s Fables was a pickup bible?

I assume you’re all familiar with Aesop’s story of the fox and the grapes: A fox wants some grapes, but can’t reach them. He walks off in a huff, sniffing that the grapes are probably sour anyway. The moral: “Any fool can despise what he can not get.”

The moral that pickup guru Heartiste draws from the story is a little different. As he sees it, the fox is a super cool alpha male who’s come up with an awesome way to put those slut grapes in their place.

Read the rest of this entry

Attention Heartiste: Don Draper is not an actual person

The REAL thousand-cock stare

The REAL thousand-cock stare

One of the odder folk beliefs of the pickup artist subculture is that women become worn down and used up and even a bit addled if they have sex with too many men. Men, by contrast, are said to be able to handle an equal number of female lovers with grace and aplomb.

In a recent post, our old friend Heartiste offers what he sees as decisive photographic evidence illustrating the different effects of promiscuity on men and women. One bit of this evidence: a picture of a young woman used to advertise some sort of singles event. Reflections from the photographer’s lights obscure her pupils, an offputting effect that gives her a slightly deranged look.

Read the rest of this entry

Heartiste: If society doesn’t mistreat women, they’ll all get fat and disagreeable

Damn those uppity women.

Damn those uppity women.

It’s rare that they come out and say it this explicitly, but here’s Heartiste, arguing that unless society treats women badly they won’t give him a boner. In a brief post about “Dread Game” — his term for manipulatively gaslighting women to prey on their insecurities — he offers up this bit of shitbag philosophy:

Dread game on a societal scale keeps women in line, always working hard to please men lest they be cast to the icy wastelands with the rest of the anti-feminine rejects. The opposite of Dread Game — Coddle Game — relaxes selective pressures on women to stay feminine and thin and agreeable. And so what you see now in the decadent, coddling West is what we get: Ballbusting fat feminist cunts and careerist androgynes.

So brave, Heartiste, so brave.



Heartiste hails great leap forward in sexbot technology. Bonus: anatomically improbable kissing and boob simulators!

Oriental Industries' new "Dutch Wife" sex dolls: Cannot be distinguished from real women (if you've never seen a real woman).

Oriental Industry’s new “Dutch Wife” sex dolls: Cannot be distinguished from real women (if you’ve never seen a real woman).


Over on Chateau Heartiste, everyone’s favorite racist pickup artist gasbag Heartiste excitedly reports on the a giant leap forward in the ongoing “Sexbot Revolution” – a Japanese company has a new lifesize sex doll that looks slightly less creepy than the creepy sex dolls now on the market.

Heartiste quotes a Daily Mail article on the dramatic new development, because where else would you turn for important news in science and technology other than the Daily Mail?

Orient Industry say their new range of dolls, made from high quality silicon, are so realistic there is very little to distinguish them from a real girlfriend at first glance. …

[A]dverts in the media boast that anyone who buys one will never want a real girlfriend again.

Thoughts in my head respond that the potential girlfriends of the world will not be heartbroken at the news that dudes who can’t tell the difference between a giant rubber doll and a real woman will be leaving the dating market.

Heartiste, however, is delighted, writing:

Read the rest of this entry


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