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Bad news, lesbians: You aren’t real, according to some dudes on the internet

That’s what you think, lady!

By David Futrelle

Lesbians around the world face a deep existential crisis today as it has been revealed that they do not, in fact, exist. At least according to some dudes on the internet. Specifically, some dudes on the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit, long a hotbed of Lesbian Denial.

In a recent discussion, a commenter by the name of NathanHollister explained that so-called “lesbians” are just straight women who can’t find quality men.

Lesbianism is not real. It’s just women who are sick and tired of unmasculine, wussy, spineless soyboy men. They will magically turn straight for a real sexy, charming man.

Basically, women who cannot find a top 20% man become lesbians. Women who can find a top 20% man but also are kinky sluts become “bi”, but mainly because they know a threesome with another girl would turn their man on.

Other commenters agreed with the “can’t get a man” theory.

“Lesbians only exist because Chad said ‘no’ and didn’t give them attention,” declared edgysecularist.

Still others feel that lesbianism is more about the hatred of men than the lack of them. According to bbhuntt:

Any ‘lesbian’ Is really a straight person who doesn’t like men and is willing to have intercourse with women rather than not have intercourse. …

Being a lesbian is the ultimate move of feminist and nothing more. It’s all a giant game

Sir_manalot suggested that it was also about status, as no one apparently has more status than women today.

[W]omen just fuck whoever they believe is highest on the social chain. Right now, women are being given a bunch of unearned power and so lesbianism is in.

Fortunately for men — or at least for the cis men who make up the overwhelming majority of MGTOWs — they have one great advantage over all these fake lesbians. And it can be found in their pants.

“You have a dick and they don’t,” wrote rejac218.

They will never know what a woman’s pussy really feels like from balls deep. You should laugh right at them.

But of course as MGTOWs they don’t spend any time at all fantasizing about said pussies. Nope! As SprinterLyfe reminded his fellow Own-Way-Goers:

Pussy is all women have to offer. By placing little or no value on pussy, we regain control of ourselves, finding legitimate freedom from feminized cultures bent on enslavement and domination of men by women.

And there’s no greater proof of the freedom these men have from women than their tendency to discuss these completely unimportant-to-them women angrily on the internet all day every day while talking about how cool their dicks are. That’s what male freedom looks like!

Send tips to dfutrelle at gmail dot com.

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Naglfar
Naglfar
8 months ago

@Eric

Friendly suggestion: don’t try to “blackmail” with “agree with me or I’m not going to have sex with you” people who doesn’t even remotely show sexual interest in you.

How the fuck is that blackmail? She’s expressing disgust, not trying to coerce you into sex.

Lainy
Lainy
8 months ago

@Naglfar

you can never be creepy in my eyes.

@Rhuu

I think eric might just see any woman clearly saying no as a sexual advance which would explain a lot why he thinks for some reason a woman having sex with another woman is an invitation for a man to suddenly join the chat.

Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
8 months ago

@Eric – Uh, Lainy was saying that she would not have sex with you. So her being interested in women would not give you, a bi guy, a shot. Because she thinks you’re gross.

Even if you did agree with her, she wouldn’t have sex with you. Because she probably thinks your ideas are gross. (don’t want to put words in her mouth)

You not understanding the obvious conclusion of your point doesn’t make you look good, my dude.

Lainy
Lainy
8 months ago

Eric, I wouldn’t have sex with you if someone held a gun to my head and tried to make me do it. I would tell the to shoot me. I wouldn’t fuck you even if you behavioral changed drastically. This is not me offering sex. This is me as a bi woman telling you . I. Would. Never.Want.To.Have.Sex. With.You.

Lainy
Lainy
8 months ago

Yeah cause I’m the one who looks pathetic and week eric. You the one that thinks if I kiss another woman in public I’m asking a man to come and fuck me.

Basically I’m saying my attraction to women has nothing to do with you or other men, especially men like you. Incase anyone but Eric was seeming to miss that.

Eric Lauder
8 months ago

@Rhuu

It was a very polite response to someone hypothizing to have sex / not have with me and implying that I could be attracted to her.

Actually, it’s the other way around: a woman have to do some effort if she want to attract me.

So, my “attraction” towards her was an invention of hers: who in her right mind thinks that people could be attracted towards an anonymous poster on the net?

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
8 months ago

@Lainy

Shorter Eric: Don’t try to force your opinions on me; that’s man’s work!

Lainy
Lainy
8 months ago

@ Eric

nice ablism there. I might not be in my right mind. That’s not why you disgust me. and that’s not why I’m telling you that my attraction to women has nothing to do with you a man, like you think it does. And don’t talk about me like I’m not here, I hate when trolls do that.

Eric Lauder
8 months ago

@Lainy:

Saying “no” to someone who doesn’t even remotely asked or approached you implies that you think that he’s attracted by you.

That’s entitlement, specifically entitlement towards male attention.

How so, since you claim to be atracted to women?

Looks like there’s a little anectode proving the Cyprus study…

Lainy
Lainy
8 months ago

@Gaebolga

that made me laugh while drinking something and now protein shake is trying to come up my nose. Haven’t that happen to me since I was like 12

Lainy
Lainy
8 months ago

@Eric

Your just really dumb aren’t you. Latch on to someone else troll okay. Stop being bitter because I told you no

Naglfar
Naglfar
8 months ago

@Eric

So, my “attraction” towards her was an invention of hers: who in her right mind thinks that people could be attracted towards an anonymous poster on the net?

You created the innuendo. She was saying she wasn’t interested. At no point did she say she was attracted to you.

David, are you reading this? Eric provides a whole new thing to deconstruct if you want.

Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
8 months ago

How so, since you claim to be atracted to women?

omg omg omg did Eric just presume Lainy’s sexuality omg omg omg.

I’ll be waiting for Eric’s apology hahahaha!

I think someone recently put it in a way… A way I’m remembering…

It would be nice to have some apologies for having presumed my sexuality, but I do not want apologies at all costs: I know it’s hard to recognize your own prejudices.

Lainy
Lainy
8 months ago

How so, since you claim to be atracted to women?

I don’t claim, I am, I’m also married and it’s not my fault you don’t understand a no pal. Or a clear word of disgust

Naglfar
Naglfar
8 months ago

@Lainy

it’s not my fault you don’t understand a no pal. Or a clear word of disgust

If he doesn’t understand, it’s because he’s choosing not to. I’m sure deep down he knows full well what you mean, he’s just being a jerk*.

*I would say he’s being an ass, but that would be unfair to versatile and helpful donkeys

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
8 months ago

Dumbass wrote:

who in her right mind thinks that people could be attracted towards an anonymous poster on the net?

Wow. I didn’t think he could get any dumber.

@Dumbass

Have you actually met any humans before? Is this your first time online? How are you capable of operating a keyboard?

Eric Lauder
8 months ago

@Rhuu

“Uh, Lainy was saying that she would not have sex with you”

When attraction or lack of attraction between us was not on the table…

@Naglfar

Expressing sexual disgust towards those who didn’t sexually approach you is either sexual harassment or trying to coerce into sex.
Pick one.
The alternative being that people should be allowed to shout “you’re sexually disgusting” to random people who aren’t approaching them.

Naglfar
Naglfar
8 months ago

@Gaebolga

How are you capable of operating a keyboard?

Can someone suspend his typing license? This is clearly a moving violation.

@Eric

Expressing sexual disgust towards those who didn’t sexually approach you is either sexual harassment or trying to coerce into sex.

She was sitting she wasn’t interested when you said all sorts of falsehoods. That’s not harassment. You want to know what harassment looks like, read our thread on catcalling. You are not being harassed, you are merely being disingenuous.

Lainy
Lainy
8 months ago

@Naglfar

Yeah well half my kids aren’t showing u to class today because of the weather and I’ve got nothing else to do for the next half hour while I wait to see if anyone is coming at all. My private lessons canceled today, the snow storm in my state is having is really messing with my schedule so this is a nice way to not think about it lol. Would you like to hear something nice my husband decided to do because I think it’s really sweet? I know I talk about him a lot on this blog, I guess it’s the newly wed phase and me missing him so much.

Lainy
Lainy
8 months ago

Oh my god, now I’m sexually harassing mr. “all lesbians are just to give men boners so they can get super pregnant”. I love it.

Naglfar
Naglfar
8 months ago

@Lainy
I’d be happy to hear about your husband.

Eric Lauder
8 months ago

Which part of this is unclear?

Saying “no” to someone who doesn’t even remotely asked or approached you implies that you think that he’s attracted by you.

That’s entitlement, specifically entitlement to male attention.

Plus, it would be nice to see David trying to deconstruct the above affirmation 😀

kupo
kupo
8 months ago

@Eric
You seem to be having trouble with blockquote, so let me give you a tutorial.

If you have javascript enabled
Method 1:
1. Copy the text that you want to quote.
2. Paste it into the reply field.
3. Highlight the text.
4. Click the ‘quote’ button.

Method 2:
1. Copy the text that you want to quote.
2. Click the ‘quote’ button; it will insert the opening tag.
3. Paste the text after the tag that was inserted.
4. Click the ‘quote’ button again; it will insert the closing tag.

If you have javascript disabled
1. Copy the text that you want to quote.
2. Type <blockquote>
3. Paste the text after the tag.
4. Type </blockquote>

Lainy
Lainy
8 months ago

@Naglfar

So I definitely out number him in the number of tattoos right now. He got his first one about a year ago which is one of his life mottos. He said he’s been wanting to get something for me since we just got married, but he didn’t want to do a name or a face because that’s both bad luck and cheesy, so he decided to get a small moon with two bats, one smaller and one large to represent us flying off into the night as bats together. It was the sweetest thing.

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
8 months ago

@Lainy

I’m tempted to make a joke about how I’ve never been a supporter of sexual harassment, but I’ll make an exception in this case, but Dumbass isn’t capable of understanding it as humor.

…which would actually make it funnier. So let’s just say I made the joke.

Lainy
Lainy
8 months ago

Yeah bro, I’m super entitled to male attention because I want most of them to stay away from me, including you. How about this, I don’t even breath the same air as you. Is that better?

Lainy
Lainy
8 months ago

@Gaebolga

Then I will say I gave you a supportive wink to your not said joke.

Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
8 months ago

@ Eric – you brought up sex (but really rape), broski. You were the one who linked to the rape study, not us.

Lainy is merely demonstrating why that study couldn’t include any lesbians, because if it did, the conclusion would be ruined.

The idea that women are preforming their interests for a male gaze so one (or both) will get preggers from being raped is disproved right here.

Because it’s gross.

Were you involved with this study? You seem very invested in it not being considered a horrifyingly rapey mess.

@Lainy – awwwww!

@general – Oh, and uh… i’m never okay with joking about sexual assault, so i’m not going to laugh at it. :/

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
8 months ago

Thank you, Lainy.

Also, that tattoo sounds very sweet! My wife has a Celtic tree of wisdom with our names and the names of our children woven into the branches; I’m touched every time I see it.

Marriage is so fucking cool.

@Rhuu

Fair enough, and my apologies.

Eric Lauder
8 months ago

Thanks, Kupo.

“all lesbians are just to give men boners so they can get super pregnant”.

Quite close to the Cyprus Univeristy theory.

Their theory is actually:

“lesbian sexual practices had evolutionary success because they gave men boners so they got super pregnant”.

There’s also another very similar theory:

“Cnemidophorus genus lizards are all lesbians because there weren’t males, they reproduced by parthenogenesis, and lesbians pratices stimulated parthenogenesis more than asexuality, so the lesbian lizards got super pregnant while the asexual lizards not so much”.

The latter is widely accepted, why the former is controversial.

Probably because the lizards cannot protest / get offensed by the theory 😀

Lainy
Lainy
8 months ago

@Rhuu, first thank you. And second I know! He’s got the best type of skin for black ink tattoos as well. To me he’s just so perfect. The only other tattoo he wants to get is a rose over his heart if we have a daughter. He hasn’t figured out what he wants to get if we have a boy.

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
8 months ago

…and the stupid just keeps on flowing.

Lainy
Lainy
8 months ago

I have now decided that I don’t even want to share the same carbon that all live is made up of with Eric.

Lainy
Lainy
8 months ago

@eric

Why are you so obsessed with lesbians evolutionary role to be for men to rape them?

Naglfar
Naglfar
8 months ago

@Lainy
That’s a sweet tattoo. I’ve never really thought of bats as a symbol of love before, but now that I think of it they’re quite romantic.

I have now decided that I don’t even want to share the same carbon that all live is made up of with Eric.

I hear silicon might work…

@Eric

The latter is widely accepted, why the former is controversial.

Because humans and lizards are different? You planning to bring up lobsters next?
In addition to your views on women, you seem to have a very low view of men. Every man is a rapist to you, it seems. I have higher opinions of men in general, and I think people are more than base drives.

Lainy
Lainy
8 months ago

That’s a sweet tattoo. I’ve never really thought of bats as a symbol of love before, but now that I think of it they’re quite romantic.

Listen to them the children of the night and what sweet music they sing.

Eric Lauder
8 months ago

@Rhuu

“This scientific study is wrong because their theory is immoral”.

Really?

Lainy
Lainy
8 months ago

@Eric

Yes, just like how eugenics is wrong you piece of shit.

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
8 months ago

I’m not sure which is more pathetic: if Dumbass meant to fake-quote Naglfar but was too stupid to get the attribution right, or if he really did mean Rhuu and he thinks that fake-quote bears any resemblance to anything Rhuu actually said….

Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
8 months ago

Ah, you said ‘theory’, not ‘results’. Have you heard of a thing called ‘ethics’?

What is the ethical justification for a theory that says ‘lesbian and bi women exist so men will rape them’?

@Gaebolga – maybe because i called it straight up a ‘rape study’?

Eric Lauder
8 months ago

@Lainy

I’m not particularly interested with lesbians evolutionary role.

I just highlighted that the moron saying “lesbians do not exist” have some sort of backup through the misrepresentation of such theory from Cyprus University.

Attacking the scientific theory doesn’t help, unless you attack it with serious scientific arguments.
What it could help is highlighting the misrepresentation of the theory.

There are a lot of those cases.
Another one is: “women have into the brain the DNA of the men they had sex with”.
It’s a distortion of a real scientific finding: scientists did find male DNA into female brains.
But it wasn’t their lovers’ DNA, it was their male children DNA. It’s called microchimerism, a lot of mammals have that, it’s useful to establish a bond with the offspring. In other words all the mothers have some DNA of their children, of both sexes, into their brain.
Morons use the actual theory to misrepresent women as being strange creatures.

Lainy
Lainy
8 months ago

@ Eric

But your pushing a thing that actually says lesbians purpose is to be raped so they can get pregnant by men. Do you really not see the problem with that?

Also becareful or I might “harass” you again by telling you that I don’t want to fuck you again. Wouldn’t want that would you?

Naglfar
Naglfar
8 months ago

@Eric
Ah, the age old debate tactic of “switch sides randomly when you’re losing.” You’ve been defending your pet study for like a dozen posts now. You’re fooling nobody.
Also, nice diversion with with microchimerism. Microchimerism is real, but it’s of IMMUNE cells, not nerve cells. Nobody said it wasn’t real, just that what Roosh et al describe beard no resemblance to the real thing. Like if someone said there was a flying pig and it was a cardinal.

Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
8 months ago

@ Eric

Attacking the scientific theory doesn’t help, unless you attack it with serious scientific arguments.

How about “constructing a pool of people that specifically excludes the very people you are studying is a pretty transparently shitty practise.”

Or how about “pretending like socialisation plays no part in what men find sexxxxxxxy is ridiculously shortsighted.”

Or maybe “pretending that what we, as a culture, find sexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxy is a single fixed thing denies the reality we all live in.”

People once thought frosted tips looked cool, too.

comment image

(I would have killed for some frosted tips, #90sChild)

I mean, the conclusion is so laughably wrong…

Eric Lauder
8 months ago

The scientific study did find that lesbian practices increase the chances to get pregnant. Pregnancy could happen in many ways: men offering resources, men raping them, etc. This isn’t relevant: what is relevant is that they did find that female homosexuality increase chances to have an offspring, while male homosexuality don’t.
This have several implications: it could be misrepresented against lesbians, or even against gays.

In the bonobos there’s a similar phenomenon, much more prononuced: heterosexual female bonobos are unlikely to have an offspring and even to survive. They have to be bisexual to be accepted by the female group that will protect and support them.
Is this theory immoral, too?
Worth noticing that the bonobos are the creatures closer to us.

Why do you keep thinking about fucking / not fucking with me?
I’m just a random poster on the net.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Eric,

The theory is not very good or at all scientific. It’s not falsifiable. And asking for the boner notes of men (who’ve been socialized a certain way, so their opinion says nothing about boner opinions thousands of years ago) provides no information about the evolutionary purposes of lesbians. Just like how I find men in sweaters attractive doesn’t mean that sweaters were made to attract me. Correlation does not equal causation.

God, evopsych trolls are tedious. And so, so bad at science.

Lainy
Lainy
8 months ago

@Eric

Because your disgusting and I intend to remind you that every time you try to defined the notion that lesbianism is to help women get pregnant for some reason. For now me and my sore legs are gonna go soak in a tub so you’ll just have to find some other poster to get upset by for a little while.

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
8 months ago

Dumbass wrote:

It’s called microchimerism, a lot of mammals have that, it’s useful to establish a bond with the offspring. In other words all the mothers have some DNA of their children, of both sexes, into their brain.
Morons use the actual theory to misrepresent women as being strange creatures.

Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Pro tip: if you’re not going to link to the study supporting your claim, maybe try to get the claim right.

Because getting it wrong makes you look like a fucking moron.

Dumbass.

Eric Lauder
8 months ago

@Naglfar

I’m not switching sides: I still think that the Cyprus study is very valid and I don’t get sides.

There aren’t sides: there’s me highlighting a theory partially backing the moron (who’s misrepresenting it) and some people getting offensed by the existence of an academic study.

I just observe. For my benefit.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

The one time a misogynist prefers comparing humans to bonobos rather than the more violent and patriarchal chimpanzee and it’s to defend the corrective rape of queer women. Go figure.