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Dude sends his mom a pic of his dick but somehow he’s not the biggest asshole in this story

By David Futrelle

So a young gentleman turned to the Am I The Asshole subreddit today with a simple question that, at first glance would seem to have a simple answer: “[Am I The Asshole] for intentionally sending my mom a dick pic to prove a point?”

Oh dear. Obviously, unless you’re literally a modern day Oedipus who doesn’t know that your mother is your mother, there’s pretty much no circumstance in which sending a picture of your erect penis to your mother makes you anything but an asshole. So yes, he is by definition an asshole. But is he the asshole?

That’s where things get complicated.

So let’s wade into these murky depths.

I know, i Know. Hear me out.

I’m currently 20, going to college, and live a hour away from my parents. My mom has always been invasive. Living at home I had no privacy. She would always want to see what was on my phone, pc, laptop, etc. She insisted on me not having a lock on my room door and would barge in when ever and when ever. Now that I live on my own, this has only gotten worse. She demands to know everything i’m doing and stalks me on any social media she can find.

Holy crap. That’s not just invasive; it’s abusive.

I went home for christmas and during that time she found out through my sister that i’ve been seeing a girl on campus and have not told her. She has not stopped invading my life since and has demanded all the information she could get on her. I didn’t give her anything and did not let her look at my texts when she demanded to see them. Now that I’m back on campus she’s only ramped up.

It just gets worse.

Last night she called me prodding for more, and eventually she started to accuse me of “illicit” behavior with my girlfriend. She claims that “If i can’t show my mother my texts, then I shouldn’t be sending them”. My mom decided to lecture me for half an hour last night. I had enough and said I would send her a full log of our texts. After I hung up though, I sent my mom a picture of my erect penis and turned my phone of do not disturb.

Needless to say, his mother was not pleased.

I only just barley [sic] checked my phone and she had called me over 10 times last night and sent over 50 texts. My dad and sisters also blew me up with texts calling me an asshole.. I just called my dad and he said that it was way out of line and that i’m a major asshole. My mom left me multiple voice mails crying and saying that she went wrong while calling me a degenerate.

A bit excessive, but then again what on earth did he expect?

At this point our, er, hero then asks the assembled Redditors for a ruling on his behavior.

Honestly. she wanted this. She already assumed my texts had dick pics so I just gave her what she wanted. AITA?

Well, yes, you’re being a huge asshole. Sending anyone an unsolicited dick pic is asshole behavior. But sending one to your mom? Off the charts, asshole-wise.

But at the same time he’s right about one thing: she was demanding to see texts that she presumably knew would contain dick pics and other “illicit” material. So had he given into her demands, she would have seen the pic and perhaps even worse.

So I think it’s fair to say, in the parlance of the AITA subreddit, that this is an “Everyone Sucks Here” situation. And that, given her ongoing invasive and abusive behavior, the mother is the biggest asshole of these two big assholes.

Also, everyone in the family should immediately go into therapy, because holy crap.

H/T — Thanks to Twitter’s @AITA_reddit for featuring this lovely post

Send tips to dfutrelle at gmail dot com.

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Citerior Motive
Citerior Motive
8 months ago

Am I alone in wondering what the point was that this, erm, fellow was attempting to prove with this maternal dick-pic?

jsrtheta
jsrtheta
8 months ago

As horrid as his mother’s behavior was, he is definitely the bigger asshole. Not even close.

Naglfar
Naglfar
8 months ago

My thoughts:
1. Boy shouldn’t have sent dick pic to his mom. Sending unsolicited sexts is not OK. I in no way endorse or excuse his behavior.
2. Mother sounds quite abusive and controlling. What she did to her son by violating his privacy and harassing him wasn’t OK either. Not excusing that either.
3. Sending dick pics to mothers to prove a point is not OK.

Verdict: son shouldn’t have sent the picture, mother is abusive, everyone sucks here. I concur with David. And it looks like most of the commenters reached that conclusion as well.

Naglfar
Naglfar
8 months ago

Though if I had to pick the bigger asshole, I’d say the son. Sexual harassment (which I would say this constitutes) is not OK.

Crip Dyke
8 months ago

Am I alone in wondering what the point was that this, erm, fellow was attempting to prove with this maternal dick-pic?

Prob not alone, but I thought it was pretty understandable.

Your mom is incensed she doesn’t know what you’re doing with the person you’re dating and suspects the worst – horrifying things involving naked bodies.

You are (actually quite reasonably) trying to insist on your privacy. Maybe you’re not having sex with your dating partner, maybe you’re not, but either way your mom is assuming the worst of you, and demands to see what she believes is the worst of you.

You’re freaked out, because what will mom do if she actually sees the worst of you? Plus, fuck her and her abusive invasiveness.

So, as a defensive measure, you send her the worst of you — because if you send her something worse than anything that’s actually in your chat/text history, then if she ever breaks into your phone or browbeats you into unlocking it, she can’t see anything worse than what she’s already seen, right?

I had an abusive mom (I have to admit that she got better, though I don’t think I’ll ever be really over it), and I totally understand the impulse I’m describing (even if I’m not 100% sure that’s what this person actually felt). Tell your abusive parent the worst and take whatever your parent dishes out and you can be much, much less afraid going forward, because you finally have a good idea what the “worst” is going to be and that you can survive it.

So, your mom is looking for the worst of you, and you show it to her, and hopefully the anxiety ends, or at least goes down by quite a lot.

This is my guess at what’s going on for that person, though I have to admit that when I showed my mom the “worst” of me all I did was skip school to ride my bicycle around town and then go eat oreos in the attic (my teenage rebellions were the patheticest).

Amy E
Amy E
8 months ago

God, she sounds awful. Agree @Crip Dyke – this is an understandable reaction. He’s human. He snapped under what seems to be unbearable pressure. I only hope he has the good fortune to break away from her altogether. She sounds like a horrible control freak.

Naglfar
Naglfar
8 months ago

@Amy E

I only hope he has the good fortune to break away from her altogether.

I agree, this is probably the best solution if possible.

Handsome :Punkle Stan: Jack

i’m with crip dyke on this, especially since this abuse was going on for years & years.

Moggie
Moggie
8 months ago

I wonder if he was hoping that this would precipitate a break: he does the worst thing he can think of in the circumstances, in the hope that his parents say “we want no further contact with you”. Given that he’s still at college, that may be very difficult for him, though.

Crip Dyke
8 months ago

@jsrtheta & naglfar:

As horrid as his mother’s behavior was, he is definitely the bigger asshole. Not even close.

and

Though if I had to pick the bigger asshole, I’d say the son. Sexual harassment (which I would say this constitutes) is not OK.

I really don’t think that you understand the power of child abuse. Yes, the child is an adult child of that abusive parent, but they are still vulnerable to the coercive power of the parent in so-many-ways.

And, yes, it’s sexual harassment to tell people that they aren’t allowed to have a private sex life and insist on hearing every detail of every sexual relationship. It is BEYOND fucked up. This is shit that scars you for life.

Don’t neglect the power dynamics here. Disproportionate self defense is not as bad as attacking in the first place. Punching up is not as bad as punching down. When there is ongoing child abuse by a parent, the fact that the child sometimes reacts badly to the abuse is the fault of the parent.

After all, you might be appropriately critical of this young man’s disrespect of reasonable boundaries, but who the fuck was supposed to teach this guy about boundaries in the first place?

Look, the actual story could be different than the single side of the story we hear about here. But from everything we hear about here, the mom is DEFINITELY the bigger asshole. Not even close.

As an aside, consider this story from my own childhood:
My little sister (4 years younger, and about 7-8 at the time) decided that she would play the game of trying to punch me in the genitals. Why? Who the fuck knows. Kids do stupid things. I told her not to. I begged her not to. I deflected her hands. I curled up to protect myself. I yelled at her to go away. Then I relaxed a moment when i thought she was going to go away and WHAM she hit me square in the genitals.

IT HURT LIKE FUCK.

I made a conscious decision – don’t minimize that – but I didn’t think about it. I didn’t have this great mental process about what was a good idea and what wasn’t. I made a decision in far less than a second, but I made the decision to punch her back and punched her in the stomach.

Immediately she made a shocked face like she couldn’t believe that I would actually hit her (and I’m sure it was surprising, because I was the least violent of the three kids in a family that had learned violence from a pretty violent mother). It hurt her, I’m sure, but she wasn’t so hurt she couldn’t immediately run upstairs to fetch my new almost-step dad (he’d moved in just a couple months before, but hadn’t married my mom yet).

My step-dad came thundering down the steps. I’d never heard the steps make noise like that. I was terrified. SD came in, loomed over me and loudly demanded to know if I’d hit my sister and what the fuck was I thinking because HOLY FUCKBALLS didn’t I know that I was stronger and could really hurt her and was older and was supposed to know that you just don’t do that?

I told him that she had been purposely attacking my genitals, and that when she finally hit them, I did indeed lash out back, hitting her in the stomach.

He turned to my little sister and asked her if this was true. She shrank back, obviously embarrassed and unable to figure out what to say.

SD took a breath, turned around, and walked up the stairs without saying anything more to anyone.

I’m not saying that it was **right** to punch my little sister, who was smaller than me and who didn’t have as much brain development to understand right and wrong. But was I the bigger asshole in that situation? Was my step dad wrong to leave the room without punishing me?

Now imagine my little sister being my mom, with more brain development, more ability to know right from wrong. Imagine she’s been abusive for YEARS (because you know that the behavior the OP describes doesn’t just show up suddenly for a week and then disappear – if it was a pattern for this significant period of time, then abusive intrusiveness and violating boundaries was a pattern for years). Further imagine that this is the person who is literally teaching you right from wrong.

I get that my sister was 8. I don’t think I was the bigger asshole in that situation. It’s not like I planned out revenge, I reacted. Sure, there was some conscious thought in there, and you can critique my decision and say that punching my sister in the belly was wrong, but I did my absolute best to avoid exactly the kind of outcome that occurred. I pulled away. I tried to isolate myself. Nothing worked. She didn’t go away. She was hurting me and I had no expectation that she was going to stop hurting me. My behavior, even though punching = punching constituted an escalation because of my extra 4 years of growth so even though punching = punching, my punching >> my sister’s punching. (Though perhaps it was only a small escalation, because she engaged in repeated punching targeting my genitals, not one-time in a less vulnerable area …but still, it was probably an escalation.)

My sister created that situation. She had all the information she needed to cut that shit out. She pushed the situation forward into crisis.

The mom in this story created the situation. She had all the information she needed to cut that shit out. She pushed the situation forward into crisis. And she was the parent.

No, in a real life situation that is actually like the story here, the parent is to blame. The parent is by far the bigger asshole.

You don’t want to have the responsibility for teaching kids right from wrong? You don’t want to be triggered by horrible thoughts that your kids might have their own lives, independent of your control?

DON’T FUCKING HAVE CHILDREN.

Honestly, the most fucked up part of this whole thing for me is that David doesn’t report that anyone recommended this young person seek out help for people being abused.

David, please, if you can still comment over there, bring up the issue of child abuse and how patterns of dominance and submission and abuse can easily carry over into young adulthood. Link some resources for adults abused as children (there are many). Let that person know that even if they made a fucked up choice, they really, really don’t deserve that shit and it’s really unhealthy and they deserve better.

Seriously, if someone was telling me that a boss at work was yelling at them trying to get them to let the boss see their intimate conversations with their dating partners, and kept up that behavior for weeks, and then finally the employee snapped and sent a genital pick hoping to shock the boss into leaving them the fuck alone, would any of us here say that the employee was the bigger asshole?

Why are you making excuses for a parent?

UGH. This whole thing triggers the fuck out of me. Abuse victims don’t need to handle their abuse perfectly in order to receive help, and they certainly don’t need to handle their abuse perfectly in order to not be the bigger asshole.

Crip Dyke
8 months ago

I’m sorry everyone. I finished typing up the long thing and then saw people agreeing with me (whose comments weren’t up when I started typing that rant).

It was just that when I started typing that thing, there were only people saying that the kid was the bigger asshole and that just freaked me out. I fully admit to being triggered, and if I went overboard in my rant, I’m sorry.

Snowberry
Snowberry
8 months ago

Ugh. This kind of situation doesn’t usually end without death or outside intervention.

Even when the “break” finally happens, it won’t last. Eventually it gets to the stage of “come back and let your parent abuse you because it makes them happy, and also it’s not actually abuse because it makes them happy. What? You don’t want to? You are a horrible person and will do it anyway.” And even later, the attempted kidnapping of your children…

I mean, if it is that bad, then the poor dude *really* needs counseling.

Not speaking from firsthand experience, thankfully, but I’ve known people in that kind of nightmare.

Naglfar
Naglfar
8 months ago

@Crip Dyke
That gives me a different perspective. I hadn’t really thought of the situation that way and now I see that the mother was more at fault there. Thank you for taking the time to explain the situation and form an analogy.

I’m sorry you suffered and I’m sorry if my earlier comment was inappropriate or triggering.

Snowberry
Snowberry
8 months ago

@Crip Dyke:

You don’t want to have the responsibility for teaching kids right from wrong? You don’t want to be triggered by horrible thoughts that your kids might have their own lives, independent of your control?

DON’T FUCKING HAVE CHILDREN.

The reason why people like that have children is absolute control. It doesn’t matter what kind of control or what effect it has on their kids, or even that their kids will pretty much have to be independent some day, what matters is keeping that control as long as they can. Most of them are shocked to find that their kids are leaving them, that’s just inconceivable. They worked so hard to keep them from becoming independent. When the control is no longer possible, and all attempts to reassert it has failed, their children become just meat sacks for spawning replacement kids.

Jaz
Jaz
8 months ago

My mother had the same “no closed doors/I can enter your room anytime” policy and the same “no private communications” policy.

She gave away or sold some of my possessions because she didn’t really see them as being mine.

She demanded detailed accounts of everything in my life, but conveniently forgot to tell me things that were important to me, such as the time my cat was killed by coyotes while I was at college. I didn’t find out until I went home, my cat didn’t greet me, and I asked where she was.

She sabotaged my dream career path that I worked towards for years, completely changing the course of my life.

And yet, despite all of this and more, I have never sexually harassed her in return.

The guy is twenty. He can grow up and handle the situation like an adult: without dick pics.

Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy

@Crip Dyke, thanks for your posts here. You’ve already covered everything I wanted to, and much more eloquently than I would have 🙂

People need to look beyond the dick pic. Parents who attempt to control every aspect of their kids’ lives, and repeatedly expect the worst of them, are abusive, and do lifetime damage. I can attest to this and it’s why I try so hard not to do it with my son.

You don’t need to condone what this guy did, but he is not the main offender here, not even close.

Katherine the Adequate
Katherine the Adequate
8 months ago

Holidays and family dysfunction go together like something and something.

Katherine the Adequate
Katherine the Adequate
8 months ago

P.S., I agree with Mish and Crip Dyke. Controlling behavior is abusive. Too many people don’t seem to understand that.

Katherine the Adequate
Katherine the Adequate
8 months ago

Well, I don’t know what happened to the edit function, but I was specifically referring to controlling behavior by parents.

Definitely not Steve
Definitely not Steve
8 months ago

Re: Crip Dyke’s long post,

Totally agree about the power dynamics and the danger of lasting damage from being an invasive parent.

It’s vaguely reminding me of my mom, who tried desperately for many years of my childhood to “cure” a mental illness I have through aggressive behavioral correction. There were definitely times I pushed against that by “showing my worst,” as it were, with regards to the mental illness.

Leum
Leum
8 months ago

nthing agreement with Crip Dyke.

Lainy
Lainy
8 months ago

Reminds me of how my great grandmother was to my grandmother. The woman had her out of wed lock and became obsessed with her daughter not doing that. She tracked my grandmother’s menstrual cycle the second she had it. Took doors off the bedroom and the bathroom when my grandmother started developing. And if my grandmother hate a late or missed peirod which is normal for young girls that are getting their cycles regulated my great grandmother would call her horrible names. Accuse her of doing stuff with any and ever boy that was remotely in her life and would have my great grandfather beat her with a belt. As a result my grandmother was very repess sexually and couldn’t even explain puberty to my mother when she went through it. She bought her a book and signed a parent permisson form for health class. She would never talk to my mom about anything with her body. She even would get upset with my mom if she breast feed in public.

I really hope this guy can get out of this abuse he’s in. It seems like he has no safe person in his family. Not even his own sister.

KindaSortaHarmless
KindaSortaHarmless
8 months ago

Yeah, I think Crip Dyke basically nailed it.

The son is AN asshole. But, his mom’s definitely THE asshole. I just hope they get the help they need, because… yikes.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
8 months ago

… is it wrong that I think this all would be a lot simpler if he’d just sent a pic of someone else’s dick ?

Joke aside though, seconding everything about parental abuse will drive you to weird ends – and the further out of line the behaviors you have to deal with get, the less of an actual grasp you have on where the line is.

Universal Kami
Universal Kami
8 months ago

@Crip Dyke

I might have developed earlier in some areas as a child, but I’d have thought by 8 it was common knowledge NOT to hit someone, let alone a sensitive area.

At 8 I knew exactly what right and wrong was.

But again, you did mention your horrible mother and I assume nobody taught your sister not to do that.

Mogwitch
Mogwitch
8 months ago

I have to admit I did a much milder version of this. My mother-in-law would insist on re-cleaning my house every time she visited, no matter how much we asked her not to. At some point she would insist on staying at home due to “tiredness” while I went out with my husband and father-in-law, and I would return home to find that all our drawers, including the underwear drawer, were reorganised. I bought unmistakable sex toys and left them in our night table before one visit. Nothing was said, but she stopped doing it.

Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy

@Mogwitch, that’s hilarious, nicely done.

@Sinkable John, how are you? Great to “see” you.

IronCthulhu
IronCthulhu
8 months ago

@Mogwitch

Nothing was said, but she stopped doing it.

That sounds more or less like what her sons intention was. Someone won’t respect your boundaries, give them an eye-full of more than they bargained for.

Maybe he could have just left his phone unattended where she would find it, rather than intentionally sending something to her. Because now she gets to play victim

Allandrel
Allandrel
8 months ago

Everything Crip Dyke said.

My mother is emotionally abusive, always has been, and I am financially forced to still live with her at 40 because I am a disabled dialysis patient.

It’s never-ending. You find yourself walking on eggshells with every interaction, because while you know that certain things WILL set them off, you don’t know what many other things might ALSO set them off.

Such as, say, letting some irritation into your voice because the delay between “I need to go to the ER” and actually getting into the car is two hours because things like taking fifteen minutes to “change into a nicer shirt” were more important to her than getting her child emergency medical care that wound up requiring surgery. Non-verbally express irritation about that? Get a tearful diatribe about how rude and inconsiderate you are. While further delaying your emergency medical care.

There is very, very little this guy could do to possibly approach the level of assholery that his mother has clearly been inflicting on him for years.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
8 months ago

@ allandrel

Ugh; that sounds awful. You have my sympathies.

If you can get this link to work; you might get a wry smile from this story maybe.

http://storage.cloversites.com/christianlifecollege/documents/The%20Way%20up%20to%20Heaven.pdf

Naglfar
Naglfar
8 months ago

Addendum:
Upon reading what other commenters have said, I’ve re-evaluated the situation and now think that the mother is definitely at fault. I’m sorry that I was too quick to lay blame upon the victim, and I’ll make sure not to do that again. Thank you to everyone who shared your stories, I’m sorry that you experienced abuse and I hope that your situation has improved/will improve.
Anyway, the point is I’m sorry I made judgements without fully understanding the situation and I’ll try to do better moving forward.

C.A. Collins
C.A. Collins
8 months ago

The mom puts her son quite in the shade, asshole-wise. The whole family dynamic sounds bad. I’d say the son should run fast and far.

Victorious Parasol
8 months ago

Ugh, moms who don’t respect boundaries. Boy, do I know that sort of mom.

gijoel
gijoel
8 months ago

*Hugs Crip dyke. From one abused child to another.

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
8 months ago

As others have said, I think the mother is the asshole here, but no one can deny that it was a dick move.

…I’ll show myself out.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Look how reasonable and untrollike Iron Cthulu is being. I wonder if he’d be this magnanimous if this was a woman retaliating against a male abuser.

Nah. In the manosphere, victims are only to be believed if they’re men with female abusers.

Cyborgette
Cyborgette
8 months ago

@Crip Dyke

As another survivor of parental abuse, thank you. Consider hugs offered. 🙁

@Naglfar

It’s okay, seriously. For people who don’t grow up with abuse on this level, it is really, really hard to understand intuitively how damaging it is.

And like to be clear sending your abuser a dick pick is still not okay, but wow, this guy’s family sounds beyond the beyond and I hope he can get some help. Both for his own sake, and because from the sound of it he’s at risk of becoming an abuser himself some day.

dashapants
dashapants
8 months ago

The very opposite of a slow clap. Especially for Gaebolga.

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
8 months ago

I think they are both past the “asshole” point. I don’t feel a need or care to rate assholitude past that point, and they both need to cut it.

(assuming the story isn’t too deformed, since the guy here isn’t objective)

That’s similar to how I don’t find useful or productive to see if Hitler or Staline was the biggest villain.

ChloroFluoro
ChloroFluoro
8 months ago

One small point here:

If she is his mother, then presumably she has seen his penis before.

And from the sound of it, she liked how things were when she had full control over all his bodily functions as well as every aspect of his life.

The guy is a decent enough person to at least consider whether his actions were out of line or not. His mother seems to have no insight into her own behavior whatsoever.

Katamount
8 months ago

Hugs to @cripdyke and @Allandrel.

As for this story, invading your adult offspring’s private digital space is… hell, I didn’t know that was even a thing. I can only imagine if my mom started demanding my computer passwords and codes.

Furry smut as far as the eye can see….

Naglfar
Naglfar
8 months ago

@WWTH

Nah. In the manosphere, victims are only to be believed if they’re men with female abusers.

Of course, because the majority of abuse against men is by men, the manosphere ignores this and makes things much worse for men who are victims of abusive men.

@Cyborgette

And like to be clear sending your abuser a dick pick is still not okay, but wow, this guy’s family sounds beyond the beyond and I hope he can get some help.

I agree. I hope the OP gets some help. It sounds like the father is probably abusive as well judging from what little we know about the father.

Moon Custafer
Moon Custafer
8 months ago

@ IronCthuhlu:

Maybe he could have just left his phone unattended where she would find it, rather than intentionally sending something to her. Because now she gets to play victim

No, if he’d left the phone unattended, or shown her any of his actual texts, she might have been able to get his girlfriend’s information and then you can be sure she’d have started to stalk and harass *her.*

Yutolia the Laissez-Fairy Pronoun Boner
Yutolia the Laissez-Fairy Pronoun Boner
8 months ago

My parents were super emotionally, sexually, and verbally abusive.

This line right here:

If i can’t show my mother my texts, then I shouldn’t be sending them

is sooooooooooo incredibly triggering to me. My parents used that line as an excuse when they would get caught getting into my stuff (journals, etc.) “if you can’t show this to us, you can’t do it!”

This guy needs to get out of this bullshit situation.

To the person lecturing about knowing right and wrong, when you’re abused as a kid, this concept can be fuzzy and vague at best, and non-existent at worst. When you are being abused, you are taught that a whole bunch of things are technically wrong but fine when they are done to you, or fine if the person was drunk when they did it, or ok because it’s mom and she’s “like that when she’s anxious”, etc, etc, etc…

Yutolia the Laissez-Fairy Pronoun Boner
Yutolia the Laissez-Fairy Pronoun Boner
8 months ago

@Cryp Dyke:

I forgot to say, thanks for your post up there. You said so much of what I was already thinking.

Also, everyone, I’m not defending sending your mom a dick pic either, that behavior is not ok!

Naglfar
Naglfar
8 months ago

@Moon Custafer

No, if he’d left the phone unattended, or shown her any of his actual texts, she might have been able to get his girlfriend’s information and then you can be sure she’d have started to stalk and harass *her.*

That, and also it would give her what she wants, so she’d still abuse him just for different reasons.

Universal Kami
Universal Kami
8 months ago

@Yutolia

I wasn’t lecturing, but okay.

I also accepted that possibility because I DO know what growing up in an abusive home is like, thanks.

Sheila Crosby
8 months ago

I think we need some brain bleach here. How about sand cats?
comment image
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Sheila Crosby
8 months ago

Would people like some baby bats?
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Naglfar
Naglfar
8 months ago

@Sheila Crosby
Those baby bats are adorable.

I must say, though, having had bats in my home, they are not particularly fun to deal with. I didn’t have a net or other means of catching the bat and I didn’t want to hurt it, so I lured it into the bathroom, left the window open, stuffed sheets under the door, and it flew out a few hours later. I then had to clean bat guano out of my bathtub.
Now it’s an amusing anecdote, but at the time it was rather frightening because I didn’t know what to do or whether the bat had diseases.
Would not recommend to keep in home.