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MGTOW: Women are “driving from town to town, jumping from cock to cock and getting guys to buy them food and gas”

By David Futrelle

“Van Life,” as I understand it, is a growing trend in which young and often quite photogenic people, er, live in vans — hence the name — and post a lot of arty pictures to Instagram documenting their travels.

Over on the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit today some of the regulars are discussing the trend, which many of them see as very amenable to the MGTOW philosophy.

But some worry that the trend has gotten popular with the very women these guys say they’re going their own way from. So what’s the appeal to these women?

Cock, of course. Just listen to Beavis and Butthead here:

Van life is a growing thing with young retarded bitches. They will get in a van and tour the cocks around the drivable world.
Yeah because they don't need much money to do it. They just drive from town to town and jump from cock to cock and get guys to buy them food and gas.

Those sneaky, sneaky ladies!

But not all MGTOWs are opposed to the idea of “bitches” driving from city to city in an endless quest for geographically diverse dick. Even if the owners of said dick have to pay a little to get, er toured.

I mean, hell, if she can give a decent blowjob I would pay that. I don't plan on tossing my hot dog down her cavernous hallway but a blowjob is a blowjob.

Dude, I feel fairly safe in asserting that no one, not even one of those horny nomadic van ladies, wants to touch your gross MGTOW dick. Regardless of whether the van is in a state of motion or not, don’t go knockin’.

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Naglfar
Naglfar
8 months ago

@Alan Robertshaw

Porn gives people totally unrealistic expectations as to how quickly you can get someone round to fix a boiler.

I feel your pain. A pipe burst in my bathroom a few years ago and it took a few weeks to get anyone to even come look at it, then more time to get anyone to fix it, all the while water was leaking into my wall.

@Pie

The lifestyle equivalent of walking into a streetlight and loudly proclaiming that they meant to do that, perhaps.

More like the lifestyle equivalent of repeatedly ramming into streetlights, blaming streetlights for being there, creating entire communities centered around hating streetlights, then claiming that you’re going your own way from streetlights but continuing to bash into them and claim you’re the best at avoiding streetlights but you intended to walk into them.

I haven’t seen Rise of Skywalker yet. Should I?

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
8 months ago

@ varalys

I have reported you to the vegan police for missing this propaganda opportunity!

comment image

Naglfar
Naglfar
8 months ago

@Alan Robertshaw
That second salad looks quite tasty.

I like putting chopped pickled banana peppers and similar peppers in salads. They add a tangy heat that brightens any salad. I also put them in pastas and sauces, or sometimes just eat them by themselves.

Moggie
Moggie
8 months ago

@Naglfar:

I haven’t seen Rise of Skywalker yet. Should I?

If you care about Star Wars, how could you not see it? If you’re not a Star Wars fan, well, it’s a reasonably spectacle-filled way to fill two hours, but be prepared for pacing issues, dumb plot points, and derailed character arcs (e.g. I guess J.J. Abrams doesn’t care for Rose). I liked eps VII and VIII, but I thought this was a mess.

Meanwhile, watch this:

https://twitter.com/rubysoho519/status/1164157522615394308

varalys the dark
8 months ago

SALAD BAD.

ALL SALAD BAD.

Maybe I’d eat the second if it had a jar of vegan mayonnaise dumped over it. Maybe.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
8 months ago

@ naglar

Thanks for that tip! I had to google as I’d not heard of them; but they appear to be called chillies over here. They look like the ones they pickle and stick with kebabs. I love those; even though they inevitably squirt vinegar in your eye when you bite into them!

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
8 months ago

Well, saying “I like salad” is close to saying “I like pasta”. Sure, you could be even less precise and say “I like nutriment” or “I like carbon-based chemistry product”, but it’s not like you are giving much information here.

(for example, that’s also a meat eater salad :comment image ; albeit making a vegetarian version probably is doable)

I do second pickled stuffs in general tho. One of the best thing I discovered in indian restaurant are thoses Patak’s jar of various picked stuff.

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
8 months ago

re: Star Wars 9….

TBH, there wasn’t any way the movie could have NOT been very satisfying for me, PARTICULARLY with the added cultural impact of the characterization changes since ’77

I went to Star Wars 4 on my honeymoon at age 21, and I had already studied the “Hero” mythical cycle at length. I went to SW9 LOOKING for closure to the cycle. Not saying I was ever consumed by the story, as some folks are, I saw the 9 movies, “Solo”, and “Rogue One”, haven’t seen any of the other media at all (I think ‘midichlorians’ is something I clean the tub with)

My fascination with the story (really, with ALL “mythic cycle” stories) isn’t that it’s necessarily told WELL, it’s that the story is TOLD….

Naglfar
Naglfar
8 months ago

@Moggie
I’ve enjoyed some of the other films, I’m not a huge fan, so maybe I’ll see it.

@varalys
Out of curiosity, what is vegan mayonnaise made of?

@Alan Robertshaw
Make sure to buy the right ones. Some look similar but are much spicier (such as this one), which can be a good thing or a bad thing depending on your personal tastes. Regarding vinegar in eyes, that’s only happened to me when I eat them whole, so cutting them into smaller bits first can usually prevent the spray.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
8 months ago

@ ohlmann

thoses Patak’s jar of various picked stuff.

Ooh yeah. I can happily just sit down with a jar of their pickled limes and a stack of popadoms.

And for people whinging about migration, Mr and Mrs Patak and family arrived here in the 50s with a fiver; started selling stuff from their kitchen; and the rest is history.

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
8 months ago

@varalys
Out of curiosity, what is vegan mayonnaise made of?

vegans, of course
comment image

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
8 months ago

@ naglfar

so cutting them into smaller bits first can usually prevent the spray.

Nope; I’m a bloke, so toxic masculinity dictates all my food must have a hint of danger (cf barbecues).

Moggie
Moggie
8 months ago

@Alan:

Nope; I’m a bloke, so toxic masculinity dictates all my food must have a hint of danger (cf barbecues).

#notallmen: did you know that the Emperor of Japan is legally forbidden from eating fugu?

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
8 months ago

@ moggie

Ironically, with all the Minamata disease that would probably be his least dangerous option.

(But thanks for the trivia!)

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 months ago

@varalys the dark

Maybe I’d eat the second if it had a jar of vegan mayonnaise dumped over it. Maybe.

I want to be totally clear that I don’t make value judgments based on the foods people enjoy and that it is okay that we like different things before I tell you about the extreme, visceral negative reaction I had when I read this 😂. I physically recoiled from my phone. I’m not sure if I was scared the mayonnaise would climb through the screen?

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
8 months ago

Hmm Robert Woodward the bio-chemist, invented a synthetic tetrodotoxin. So I wonder if there’s a market for vegan Fugu?

Paireon
Paireon
8 months ago

@don’t rub your butt on the carpet –

“Shut up lololol I iz rich und beeoteefull & ‘ave gr8 pursanalitay an wymens wonna jump on mai meet bot i dun’ let’em cuz dey’re gross wid cootyz ‘n stuff ‘n youze ugly so gotta pretend be lefty soyboy sladad eetarz 2 git poon butt dun capoble 0′ gitteen’ it lololol”

Here, shortened it for you, and made it look like it was typed by someone of your appropriate mental age with a comprehension of English as good as your comprehension of human beings in general (yourself included).

With how much porn I’ve seen over my 40 years, it’s a wonder why I’m not this delusional about sex and its availability and politics thereof… Oh wait no it’s because I use critical thought and analyse everything I come across and philosophize all the time from an outside neutral POV perspective, an insider (to the best of my knowledge) perspective, and a “weird dude just trying to be a decent person” perspective ALL. THE. TIME. Problem solved!

@Naglfar – Honestly I don’t think anyone can actually answer that in any objective manner; Rise of Skywalker is very polarizing, both among fans and non-fans; although I find that more right-wing people are more critical of it generally speaking, many left-wingers (inluding me, it has to be said) also have a lot of criticism towards it. Personally though I don’t regret watching in in a movie theater, though it’s in part due to the two doofuses sitting next to me and their dumbfounded reactions to stuff I think they should know better by now (such as a certain plot point that was hanging in the air since the first movie, and whose ultimate resolution had been hypothesised since ep. 7 came out, with one of the most popular theories not only turning out to be true, but being telegraphed/foreshadowed very blatantly in the second act before being confirmed in the third).

Paireon
Paireon
8 months ago

Oh, and also, I’m a meat eater (omnivore, really) and I consider all three salad pics here to be valid ways to prepare/eat salad. Yes, I sometimes eat salad/lettuce straight and “raw”, without anything else, right out of the container (well, after rinsing it first if needed) like I was a humanoid rabbit or something. I usually add stuff in though – my homemade French dressing is highly regarded in my social circles (and my mom’s).

varalys the dark
8 months ago

@Naglfar: Magic, it’s made of magic. Seriously when I first went vegan there were only two things I was gonna miss. Salted butter and mayo. Now I haven’t found a decent butter replacement sadly, but vegan mayo is incredible. I actually take a jar with me when I go stay at my mum’s so I can keep enjoying stuff with mayo. My jar of Hellmans is at the bottom of the recycling bin so I can’t specifically check what that is made of, but various online recipes exists involving oil, lemon juice and soy.

@Viscaria: You’re not the first person I know of to have such a visceral reaction to my love of mayonnaise! 😀

Naglfar
Naglfar
8 months ago

@Moggie
I did not know that, but it makes some sense. You’d be in a tight place as a fugu chef if you were the one who prepared the fugu that killed the emperor.

@Paireon
I’ve eaten lettuce by itself before (same with carrots, guess I am a bit rabbit-like as well) but in general I prefer to put it in/with something else.

an wymens wonna jump on mai meet bot i dun’ let’em cuz dey’re gross wid cootyz

I wonder how much of an overlap there is between MGTOWs and semen retainers? They both have very self-aggrandizing ideas.

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
8 months ago

@ don’t rub:

1) Neener, neener, THAT’S YOU

2) My dad can whip your dad

3) go away

Paireon
Paireon
8 months ago

@varalys the dark – Ah, I see you are a fellow of culture as well. When I was a kid, I loved mayo so much that sometimes, when I wanted to make myself a tomato sandwich but we didn’t have tomatoes, I’d just make myself a mayo sandwich – two slices of toasted bread with mayo in-between AND NOTHING ELSE.

As for vegan mayo IIRC the only animal by-product in ordinary mayo is eggs, so as long as you can replace that it should be fine.

Weasel-Rah
Weasel-Rah
8 months ago

Isn’t aquafaba (chickpea juice) a vegan egg substitute? You can make mayo without egg- it’s mainly included because the protein makes the emulsion more stable.
…now I want homemade mayonnaise.

Naglfar
Naglfar
8 months ago

@Weasel-Rah

Isn’t aquafaba (chickpea juice) a vegan egg substitute?

I found this recipe for aquafaba mayo, so it seems like it works.

Victorious Parasol
8 months ago

Aww, I missed a troll. Not a very good one, though. Really, it takes so little to be an original MGTOW-category troll, but they just don’t put in the effort.

Paireon
Paireon
8 months ago

@Victorious Parasol – That’s the point; when something takes so little effort to do, very few people are willing to put any effort in it at all. Which is why they usually fall flat with their trolling, only managing to succeed through attrition/exhaustion of the opposition, and why they are so low in their lives in general. To raise themselves would take the kind of effort they’re just not used to.

Being good requires a constant effort – not necessarily much, depending on the person, but still a constant effort. Being bad on the other hand requires pretty much close to zero effort. Being good at being bad on the other hand tends to require at least as much effort as being good, if not more, so most people who are bad are bad at it, ironically, or simply have access to ressources enabling them to excel in badness. Just imagine if Trump had never had his dad’s fortune to enable him – he’d probably be something along the lines of a used car salesman or crooked pawnbroker.

Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
8 months ago

Varalys wrote:

Maybe I am going about salads all wrong though, but a big part of me associates them with influencers who ate an entirely raw diet, got ill from malnutrition, blamed veganism and now eat the carnivore diet instead.

I’m not a vegan, but it seems to me that veganism/vegetarianism has a huge communication problem, as many people think it means eating only fresh vegetables. It doesn’t help that various weird “raw food” and “clean eating” fads are often promoted by high profile influencers.

Conversely, eating salad may be stereotyped as something only vegetarians do, at least in communities/cultures where it’s not common.

Allandrel
Allandrel
8 months ago

I had no idea that MGTOWs are, by definition, attractive. That was a requirement?

I just thought you had to be a man who spent all of his time making sure women know that he isn’t thinking about them, but they will totally miss him when he leaves, he’s really leaving now, for serious, has his bindle stick and everything, you can’t stop him, he’s leaving now, why aren’t you begging for him to stay?

varalys the dark
8 months ago

@Lumipina: Gah raw food vegans are the scourge of veganism. Promoting an expensive and limited diet from their rented kitchens. They all without fail crash and burn. They aren’t vegan because vegan is an ethical stance, they are plant-based. That’s all.

There are a lot of great vegan channels on Youtube that promote healthy wholefood plan-based dieting with an ethical stance to back them up. Fruits, veggies, nuts, pulses, grains, pasta, rice etc And mock meats if your tastes swing that way. I’m not saying all raw is bad, just not all of the time and promoted as the one way to do “veganism”.

Robert
Robert
8 months ago

My omnivorous husband has a preference for salads that are entirely leafy greens.
Even the addition of tomato or avocado is unwelcome.

The 20% mytheme is a popular article of faith among the Jordan Peterson fan club; 80% of women pursue the top 20% of men, because biotroof. This means that at least half of the heterosexual couples I see out in public are figments of my disordered imagination.

On a related note, my subjective impression is that the r/JBP Reddit is slowly becoming less extremely badminded. Not sure why, though. Maybe the decreased visibility of the Lobster King is a factor.

Naglfar
Naglfar
8 months ago

@Allandrel

they will totally miss him when he leaves, he’s really leaving now, for serious, has his bindle stick and everything, you can’t stop him, he’s leaving now, why aren’t you begging for him to stay

This is why their whole plan is flawed: it assumes anyone would care if they “went their own way.” Not only do they fail to “go their own way,” but if they did it would probably have no effect on anyone else so nobody cares. Honestly, I’d be glad if men like this left our society and went elsewhere. They only make things worse, and without them it would be much better for all the rest of us.

@Paireon

Just imagine if Trump had never had his dad’s fortune to enable him – he’d probably be something along the lines of a used car salesman or crooked pawnbroker.

I think he’d probably be a career criminal, like a pickpocket or a burglar. Of course, he’d probably be quite inept at it, so he’d likely land himself in jail quickly.

Other possibilities would have been pyramid schemer, quack doctor, or other scammer. I can easily picture him hawking some quack medical device as a cure for all diseases.

@Robert

Maybe the decreased visibility of the Lobster King is a factor.

I was unaware that he was decreasing in visibility. Maybe he’s running out of grift ideas? Anyway, I’m glad. Maybe this means the alt right as a whole is headed into remission.

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
8 months ago

Well, if you need something worse than raw product vegans, there’s frugivores, who forgot humans have evolved out of being able to be frugivore. Good look trying to avoid deficiency, enough protein, or simply not die from excessive sugar intake ! I guess it’s still less horrible than 100% carnivore diet of lobster man, which don’t even have the flimsy pretense of our ancestor being on that diet.

While that’s probably not the idea of France that most people have, salads are a pretty big part of our gastronomy, especially in the south. The difference between the first salad showed by Alan, and the two others is that, really the latter two can be your entire meal (… and the next two in some southern family …), while eating *only* green salad with dressing is a recipe to become mad.

Naglfar
Naglfar
8 months ago

@Ohlmann
I’ve heard of frugivores (or “fruitarians” as they’re also called) and thought it sounded rather unsound.
At least it’s theoretically possible to eat an all-meat diet and get all needed nutrients (though it requires eating lots of organ meats which most carnivore diets likely don’t include).

eating *only* green salad with dressing is a recipe to become mad.

How does salad make one go mad? Is this something I should watch out for?

Moon_custafer
Moon_custafer
8 months ago

“driving from town to town, jumping from cock to cock and getting guys to buy them food and gas”

Sounds like the start of a 1970s Russ Meyer film. I rather enjoy his work, though I’ve never been able to understand how it would function as porn – bawdy, surreal comedy, yes, but porn? Every time two characters get together the film cuts away to something else, like a nude telephone operator working a switchboard in the middle of a desert, or Hitler being killed by means of a piranha placed in his bathtub.

Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
8 months ago

varalys:

They aren’t vegan because vegan is an ethical stance, they are plant-based

I gather that “plant-based” is vegan food/diet in the language of trendy health woo vegans, as opposed to old school animal rights vegans?

I think Finnish language doesn’t have an equivalent for “plant-based”. Instead “plant-focused” diet is frequently recommended by authorities, as fancy branding for the very traditional concept of eating meat sparingly.

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
8 months ago

decreased visibility of the Lobster King

This happens to a lot of igno-right-wing sites, when the “outrage level” on the site drops, e.g. when a regular notices a couple days have passed without a post, the regular will need to go to a “fresher” site to get their fix of hatred.

Katamount
8 months ago

@Weird Eddie

As far as the other media goes, don’t think you’re missing much. Some of the games were fun though. Shadows of the Empire was huuuge on the N64 back in the day.

One piece of Star Wars media worth pointing out: the Decipher Collectable Card game. A lot of the character and alien names and backstories originated there. Remember this guy?

comment image

One background appearance in the original film, zero lines. The Wullf Yularen character then proceeded to appear heavily in prequel material, particularly The Clone Wars series. That was where his name came from.

Man, seemed like every booster pack I bought had one of this guy in it. Must have had a dozen Wullf Yularens by the time I was finished buying sets. And like a hundred Lieutenant Tabrises (Tanbri?)

comment image

The fact that I too wasn’t an obsessive Star Wars fan probably helped me enjoy TRoS as much as I did. Where I had issues with it was purely from storytelling logistics, like lost plot threads and particularly the origins of The First Order as a galactic power.

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
8 months ago

@Nagflar : monotony can turn people mad, doubly so on something who isn’t very filling and not very diverse. Albeit, as said before, I talk of the “clearly made to be side dish” salad.

TRoS was a piece of trash I thoroughly removed from my memory. The problem isn’t much about being an obsessive fan, it’s that the story is completely nonsensical *and* lack any emotional weight *and* remove all sense of accomplishment from all the movies before it. For me, it’s easily worse than Cats, the movie, because Cats is a badly done piece of insanity, but at least it don’t actually make other movies worse.

TRoS is mostly a worsely-done version of the old continuity comics Dark Empire, but Dark Empire at least had the saving grace of taking a bit of time to explain what the situation is, and to make the Emperor look significantly more badass.

Naglfar
Naglfar
8 months ago

@Weird Eddie

This happens to a lot of igno-right-wing sites, when the “outrage level” on the site drops, e.g. when a regular notices a couple days have passed without a post, the regular will need to go to a “fresher” site to get their fix of hatred.

So who’s next if the Lobster Messiah is done?

@Ohlmann

monotony can turn people mad, doubly so on something who isn’t very filling and not very diverse.

Ah. I thought you meant that lettuce could cause insanity in and of itself, which would be something to watch out for.

For me, it’s easily worse than Cats, the movie, because Cats is a badly done piece of insanity, but at least it don’t actually make other movies worse.

I haven’t watched Cats but if it comes out on streaming I might watch it just to see how bad it is. I’ll report back if I do. The real question is, does it reach “so bad it’s good” territory (i.e. Reefer Madness, Plan 9 From Outer Space, etc), or overshoot or fall short?
comment image

Crip Dyke
8 months ago

After ep8 I was looking forward to a conclusion that moved the galaxy past the Empire and First Order because the younger generation was inspired to do better than the past, and that the climax would turn on that rejection by young people of a tradition of violence.

And of course there would be space violence along the way, with ships blowing up and things (it is Star Wars, natch). And of course there would be violence by the “good guys” in self-defense against actual people-shaped things. But the turning point wouldn’t be cutting someone in half and/or throwing them down a deep hole. The turning point would be a choice to do better by all those kids and young adults inspired by the Resistance at the end of ep8. A choice to prevent violence, rather than simply be more determined to inflict it b/c they’re “on the right side”.

They’d clearly foreshadowed something like that at the end of ep8, but I guess they didn’t have the guts to follow through.

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
8 months ago

@Nagfljar : I believe Cats overshoot “so bad it’s good” into “so bad it’s horrible”. Not entirely sure, because it’s not like just boring like Alone in the Dark, it do actually produce emotions when looking at it.

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
8 months ago

re: the absolute awful-itude of Star Wars 9

I guess I had… lower expectations….

!!!

… though I do need to point out, the original trilogy did not exactly exude character and story line depth.

aw, fuck it, folks, the original story was a one-dimensional gloss that read like it was written by a ten-year-old, the story was tired and had been done a hundred times just in the FILM era….

What made it popular was… well, first, THAT STORY IS STILL VERY POPULAR, and two, the special effects.

What made it satisfying for me is, I still like to see that story told.

Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
8 months ago

I haven’t seen a single star war, but when someone mentioned yoga pants upthread, I read it as “yoda pants”.

I am very online.

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
8 months ago

Yoda
“Weird Al” Yankovic
I met him in a swamp down in Dagoba
Where it bubbles all the time like a giant carbonated soda
S-O-D-A, soda
I saw the little runt sitting there on a log
I asked him his name and in a raspy voice he said “yoda”
Y-O-D-A, Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
Well, I’ve been around, but I ain’t never seen
A guy who looks like a muppet, but he’s wrinkled and green
Oh, my Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
Well, I’m not dumb, but I can’t understand
How he can lift me in the air just by raising his hand
Oh, my Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
Well, I left home just a week before
And I’ve never ever been a Jedi before
But Obi Wan, he set me straight, of course
He said, “Go to Yoda and he’ll show you the Force”
Well I’m not the kind that would argue with Ben
So it looks like I’m gonna start all over again
With my Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo
Yoda yo-yo-yo-yo
Yoda
Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo
Yoda yo-yo-yo-yo
Yoda
So I used the Force
I picked up a box
I lifted some rocks
While I stood on my head
Well, I won’t forget what Yoda said
He said, “Luke, stay away from the darker side
And if you start to go astray, let the Force be your guide”
Oh, my Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
“I know Darth Vader’s really got you annoyed
But remember, if you kill him, then you’ll be unemployed”
Oh, my Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
Well, I heard my friends really got in a mess
So I’m gonna have to leave Yoda, I guess
But I know that I’ll be coming back some day
I’ll be playing this part ’till I’m old and grey
The long-term contract that I had to sign
Says I’ll be making these movies till the end of time

With my Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
Yoda yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
Yoda yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
Yoda yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
Yoda yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
Yoda yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
Yoda yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda

Naglfar
Naglfar
8 months ago

@Weird Eddie
In the vein of songs about/featuring Yoda:

Katamount
8 months ago

Agreed on the Star Wars Holiday Special. Even with the RiffTrax, by the time it hits Bea Arthur’s musical number (which actually isn’t that bad), it really starts to drag.

To the uninitiated, I think it was once described as “the worst of both 70s TV Specials and variety shows in a single spectacular mess.” I showed it to my mom, who was of the age to remember variety shows and how terrible they were. We still mimic that weird farty synth riff during the holographic acrobat segment to each other whenever we need to laugh, because holy shit there is not a single moment of mirth to be found in that show. It was obvious that nobody wanted to be there.

I don’t go to see movies in theaters often, so it was interesting to see the previews for upcoming trash (James Bond, Top Gun, live action Mulan). But when I saw the trailer for the Harrison Ford Call of the Wild–and its CGI dog expressions–and I just knew it had “schlock” written all over it.

comment image

I’ve read Call of the Wild. It’s a grim work of literature. Maybe not Heart of Darkness grimdark, but a work for children it is not. Lotta death in that thar book. Dogs kill dogs, humans kill dogs, humans kill humans, dogs kill humans. How it ever became a “family film” property I have no idea.

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
8 months ago

Re: Salads:
I may have mentioned before that the Sooke Harbour House in B.C. (which was where my sister got married) has an entire garden full of organic and edible flowers that they use to make their salads look more interesting.

Naglfar
Naglfar
8 months ago

@Katamount
I confess that I’ve never actually seen the Star Wars Holiday Special. I’ll take your word for it that I didn’t miss anything worthwhile.

The Call of the Wild is definitely not a family film. When I was about 8 years old, my mother knew I liked stories about animals so she bought me an illustrated edition of it. Evidently she hadn’t read it, because I couldn’t make it past the scene early on where [spoiler alert] Buck is kidnapped and abused. Not a good book for children, and presumably the movie wouldn’t be either.

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
8 months ago

re: Call of the Wild:

NOT a “children’s book”…. standards were different in the ’50s/’60s, I guess, but that was a brutal read.

regarding movie remakes in general… have the screenwriters simply run out of new ideas?

Bad Boys was bad, if humorous… Bad Boys II was bad, and Bad Boys III is… out…

and Underwater is the 288th remake of “It Came From Beneath The Sea”….

Moggie
Moggie
8 months ago

I read Call of the Wild at school, I suppose about 45 years ago. Can’t remember much about it, because school had a way of sucking all enjoyment out of literature. But I vividly remember reading Jack London’s short story To Build a Fire (1908 version). Before reading it, wrap up well and make a hot drink, because the sense of bitter cold radiates from the book. The feeling of inevitable death builds from almost the first page.