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MGTOW Redditors: Women use sophisticated boob-presentation technology to confuse and enslave men, or something

Those can’t be real

By David Futrelle

Fellas! Have you heard about this thing called a “bra?” The ladies wear them on their boobs and get this, they don’t just wear them to keep their bazoongas from going all floppy when they walk around. No, sometimes ladies use sophisticated bra technology to make their boobs look bigger than they really are! So they can hypnotize you with their big boobs … even if they don’t have big boobs!

A couple of days ago one Man Going His Own Way called end_all_wars posted a 100% medically accurate diagram of the effects of this devious technology in the MGTOW subreddit to let his colleagues know about the insidious danger of this sort of false falsie advertising.

Terrifying, huh? These devious ladies have various boob-enhancing technologies at their disposal — from pushup bras to padded bras to chicken-cutlet-looking silicon bra inserts, which can apparently turn the tiniest of breasts into Dolly-Partonesque uberboobs. Or so say the MGTOWs who have encountered this technology in the wild.

“I got fooled a few times LOL,” wrote someone called CpuDoc67.

Nothing is worse than when you are expecting melons and you end up with two bee stings.

The experience of seeing giant balloon boobs transform into regular-sized boobs with the removal of the bra is apparently quite traumatic.

“I wouldn’t call them bee stings.” wrote TheTruthSetYouFree.

[M]ore like, bread dough before its cooked, lumpy and kind of weirdly shaped. small for sure … but so poorly formed and droopy you just want to puke. been fooled HARDCORE only once but fuck, looked like DD to a post pregnancy flappy shitty ass B cup that somehow was small and also have the gravitational effects of a J cup.

A commenter called Scaralamozzi was also quite discomboobulated the first time he witnessed a small breast reveal.

The first time i noticed how much pushup is there in a bra i was shocked. I still remember the exact moment it happened.

Another commenter was stunned to discover that even b-cup boobs are affected by the forces of gravity.

I legit had 2 young girls in their twenties with saggy b cups that I thought would be firm c-cups. Oh well, I fucked them anyways but it was weird having to hold up their tits when I grabbed them.

So weird to discover that boobs are not in fact bags of sand.

A commenter called Valor_X was rocked to his core by the mere notion of pushup bras.

When I first learned about push up bras it blew my mind

It was all a lie

Indeed. some suggested that all the things that women do to make themselves look more conventionally attractive are cruel deceptions. According to Paul_G1, these tactics

It’s the equivalent of a guy wearing 3 inch insoles and a muscle suit under his shirt with a George Clooney mask.

Says everything

It’s all lies

The plastered on make up,hair extensions, the push up bras, the tights that firm up their flat asses.

Take it off it’s like wtf? What happened? Why the fuck do you look shit? Bait and switch.

It’s been accepted as normal now.

Always look at her as what she is. The raw thing. I know women that wake up 30 mins before their “bf” Just to do their makeup. The man’s never seen her real face.

The horror.

I’m going to go lie down for a while to recover.

But before I go: MGTOWs and other misogynists, as you may have gathered from that last comment, also have very strong feelings about makeup in general (and lipstick in particular), which you can read about to your heart’s content in the Mammoth archives.

H/T — Reddit’s badwomensanatomy subreddit, which reposted the wonderful diagram above.

Send tips to dfutrelle at gmail dot com.

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Naglfar
Naglfar
10 months ago

@Lumipuna
“Flouride” is a common misspelling. If you search it, google says “showing results for fluoride”.

Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
10 months ago

When I was about 17, I got in argument with biology teacher on how many top incisors humans should have. I think I refused to understand I’m an anomaly (with only two). For some reason, all the other students refused to show their teeth for reference.

(Mind you, this was a special nerd school and I wasn’t the only biology nerd in that class.)

Back then I was oddly capable of seriously discussing female genital anatomy, for example when I made a group presentation with a couple girls on the subject of female genital mutilation. I guess I was totally lacking self-awareness and didn’t worry about accidentally being ‘splainy. I genuinely knew a lot of stuff from books, including stuff that apparently wasn’t obvious to the girls. (Heaven knows I was generally sometimes ‘splainy and/or condescending.)

Naglfar
Naglfar
10 months ago

@Lumipuna

When I was about 17, I got in argument with biology teacher on how many top incisors humans should have.

*checks mouth*
Four, right? At least, I have 4.

I made a group presentation with a couple girls on the subject of female genital mutilation.

Just of curiosity, what class were you making a presentation about FGM for? At the high school I went to, that was not really something we talked about.
As a person who doesn’t have a vulva, I generally defer to those who do on matters about the vulva. They tend to know more about it.

Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
10 months ago

Naglfar – It was health education (going beyond mandatory level), taught by the girls’ gym teacher.

Curious_Diversions
Curious_Diversions
10 months ago

…a guy wearing 3 inch insoles and a muscle suit under his shirt with a George Clooney mask.

???

That would not be attractive. If someone showed up for a date dressed like that it would be creepy AF.

Although it does make me wish I had more time to draw.

Paireon
Paireon
10 months ago

Not sure how to respond to this one besides this:

-_-;

Where have these troglodytes been living if they only discovered the magic of bras “recently”?

Naglfar
Naglfar
10 months ago

@Paireon
Well, troglodyte literally means “cave-dweller,” so maybe in caves?

Fishy Goat
Fishy Goat
10 months ago

@ObSidJag Wanda Sykes, maybe? I know she did do stand-up regarding leaving one’s vagina at home while one was out jogging. 😀

Naglfar
Naglfar
10 months ago

@Fishy Goat
If it was Wanda Sykes, it’s interesting to note that she got a double mastectomy to prevent cancer spreading in her breasts.

ObSidJag
ObSidJag
10 months ago

@Fishy Goat & Naglfar:
Not Wanda Sykes though I have seen that routine…& it’s pretty damned funny, especially the part where she asks her friend to run by Wanda’s house & get her who-ha out of the shoebox in her closet because her date’s going really well, better than expected.

No, the one I’m thinking of is older, more a contemporary of Joy Behar. I remember her talking about wishing we could have everything from a small set (the better to jog with) to a ginormous set for when we have to get estimates from mechanics.

She ends it with the bit about just taking them off for her partner to enjoy while she gets to nap in peace.

But thank you both for trying to help.