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Christchurch mosque shootings: The Aftermath (Twitter roundup/open thread)

Flowers punned to the gate of one of the mosques targeted in yesterday’s shooting

By David Futrelle

From Twitter, some thoughts about the horrific tragedy yesterday in Christchurch — and just who is responsible for creating the toxic environment in which this sort of murderous right-wing Islamophobic extremism thrives.

At some point I hope to have regular posts up on this horrendous subject but right now I just can’t.


https://twitter.com/lyftrs/status/1106537721877663744
https://twitter.com/2damntrans/status/1106456770950676481
https://twitter.com/allymcleangames/status/1106446269252165632

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Virgin Mary
Virgin Mary
1 year ago

I just posted and then swiftly deleted a post on Facebook criticising Pewdiepie as irresponsible. I did not realise how defensive his fans are about him, they seem to see him through rose coloured glasses. He actively tried to court an alt-right audience, and prompted his impressionable young followers to sub to conspiracy sites. He has to face up to this, as a global influencer who YouTube will never ban because he makes them too much money.

Diego Duarte
Diego Duarte
1 year ago

@Virgin Mary

Not surprising they went after you with such zeal. Society nowadays teach us that our entire identity is based on what you like or dislike, so their little youtube celebrity being called out for Nazi pandering feels like a personal attack on them. It’s like they’re Nazi by association.

And whilst many of them are too naive to realize how Nazi conspiracies and propaganda winds its way through your head, pandering to your lowest impulses; it should be noted that PewDiePie knows exactly what he’s doing and should be held accountable, as you say.

Same holds true for every single internet personality that spreads Nazi propaganda.

Katamount
Katamount
1 year ago

@Virgin Mary

I did not realise how defensive his fans are about him, they seem to see him through rose coloured glasses.

Well, his fans are young. Although, when I was that young, I don’t recall anybody I was that defensive about. But as Diego Duarte said, brand identity is what it’s all about. And that I did do when I was that young (being a computer nerd, it was all about being a big-boy PC user versus the Mac plug-and-play plebs).

But that’s the thing about a personal brand: it doesn’t get you anywhere to admit that you went too far and take personal ownership. In fact, your brand’s bottom-line demands that you exploit the spectacle whenever it occurs, so there’s all the incentive in the world to keep stirring the pot.

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
1 year ago

re: pyew-dee-cowflop

He knows exactly what he’s doing, and I believe his fan club does too. There’s a sense when using the internet that the whole world is listening (not “can listen”, but “IS listening”), and that there are no consequences. Yootoob will not ban anyone in the igno-right unless it is unavoidable. They are looking for an algorithm to flag “content which at sometime in the future will get us in trouble” and I’m afraid the web programming culture in place today is incapable of accepting the impossibility of that algorithm being developed. The igno-right is the perfect client for Big Web Tech, because they not only use the service, but they click and comment on everything, and subscribe to everything remotely in line with their viewpoint. They are the ultimate consumers of click-bait.

Big Web Tech wants to court that market, but they don’t want the pushback that comes with it. They can’t use trained content screeners because they don’t want to pay them. The igno-right will continue to post more violent content as long as they’re able to do so, and no one will stop them. When they “cross the line” (a line which is ever moving to the right), the content gets taken down, but it’s already been shared 10 million times.

In the words of Air Chief Marshall Hugh Dowding, “we are fighting for survival… and losing.”

Crip Dyke
Crip Dyke
1 year ago

…and, for those racist fucks who thought the victims of the Christchurch shootings weren’t real New Zealanders, kids who wanted to remember two of the victims who went to school with them gathered up more kids from schools across the Christchurch metro area and performed the Haka in their memory. Although it is true that the Haka is often performed only by men, apparently the girls weren’t having any of that sexism stuff and joined in the anti-violence, anti-white supremacy, pro-remembering friends Haka as well.

In entirely unrelated news, I am not crying AT ALL you booboo heads. YOU’RE THE CRYING. snif.

Crip Dyke
Crip Dyke
1 year ago

and what do you know, apparently I underestimated things. Turns out there are a LOT of people performing Haka to resist this latest act of white supremacy (as it has been used to resist many acts of white supremacy before). The student video is just the one that’s gotten the most views. Other haka that got posted to youtube include one said to be by a “biker gang” though I think it’s probably more like a “motorcycle club”. That one is here.

Bryce
Bryce
1 year ago

@ Rabid Rabbit

That isn’t a good thing. Representing himself provides the greatest opportunity to use the court as a soap box for white supremacist rhetoric. Could be wrong but there doesn’t appear to be anything the Crown or the Ministry of Justice can do about this.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2019/03/18/new-zealand-shooter-represent-court-former-lawyer-says-appears/

Crip Dyke
Crip Dyke
1 year ago

@Bryce:

If the prosecution moves, they might be able to close the trial to media. This is actually pretty easy to accomplish in Australia, much harder in Canada (but possible) where I live, but i don’t know NZ law on this point at all. Usually it’s much easier for proceedings in criminal cases in common law jurisdictions (UK and its former colonies that inherited the basics of its legal system) to be closed at the request of the defendant, not the prosecutor, which is obviously not going to happen in this case. But requests from prosecutors can be successful in some jurisdictions. I just don’t know if NZ is one of them.

Lainy
Lainy
1 year ago

I’m pretty sure I have a stalker guys.

epitome of incomprehensibility

<3 Bookworm in hijab & New Zealand commenters.

I heard about this on the radio news Friday morning. I couldn't bring myself to check this site because I knew there would be a post about it.

That day I had two hours off to go to the March 15 climate protest in Montreal and I found myself thinking, "Well, what's the point of saving humanity if we just keep killing each other?"

(I know. Junior-high level nihilism, even stupider than the overly cheery personality I can have sometimes. But that's how I felt.)

I made myself go and it was encouraging to see so many people there – students, teachers, families with kids, and more. Here’s a story about it, with pictures: https://montrealgazette.com/news/local-news/picketing-montreal-students-force-some-schools-to-close-ahead-of-climate-change-march

epitome of incomprehensibility

@Lainy – That sounds scary. 🙁 What’s been happening, if you don’t mind sharing that?

(Sorry I couldn’t add that to the other post. The edit window timed out.)

Lainy
Lainy
1 year ago

@epitome

I have a co worker and I thought what he had just been a crush. But I made it clear to him that I’m engaged to a man I love very much, but he’s crossed boundaries now and I just learned something really scary. About 4 days ago some yellow tulips were delivered to my apartment and I thought they were from my fiancé because yellow tulips are my favorite flowers and I thought it was from him because he knew I had been stressed out about classes. Because of the 15 hour time differences we don’t talk all the time so when I did get on the phone with him I thanked him for the flowers and he told me he didn’t send me any flowers. Tonight when I went to my car after work I found the same tulip under my windshield whipper and my co worker was in the parking lot watching me as he smoked a cigerate. I threw the flower on the ground while he was watching me and hurried home.

Lainy
Lainy
1 year ago

He’s been getting really creepy lately. But the teams director told me to just ignore him and not edge him on because his family owns the dance studio I work at. I can’t just quite because I need this job.

Lurker LXVII
Lurker LXVII
1 year ago

@Lainy

Report it to the police as a precaution. Get a written report. You don’t have to inform your teams director you did it. That way, if anything did happen, the police have a record he was a problem/know where to look first.

People will tell you that’s an overreaction and don’t rock the boat, blah blah blah. To that I say, safety first. And also, why should his right to creep just because his family owns a business outweigh your right to not be creeped upon?

Scanisaurus
Scanisaurus
1 year ago

Hi!
I’ve been following this blog for years now, but I’ve finally decided to stop lurking when I saw this thread.

I was both sad and scared reading about the shooting, not only due to the recent increase in right wing violence but also because as someone living in Sweden it turns my stomach seeing the shooter use the death of a Swedish girl to justify the killings, because to people like him, white women aren’t any more human than the muslims, they are just a resource to defend against “the evil foreign horde”, and everything they criticize muslim fundamentalists of doing (and they lump all muslims in with fanatics and fundamentalists), the white supremacists wish they could do to white women.

The worst part is all the lies and fake news spread around Sweden, and no one actually talk about what the majority of Swedish women want, because most women here don’t want white supremacists to dictate their lives and aren’t more afraid of immigrants than Swedish men, but their opinions doesn’t matter to these types. The scariest part is that several people I know who are Swedes have started buying into this as well, blaming muslim immigrants on all sexual violence, and it worries me greatly because I feel like I have a harder and harder time finding people to turn to with my fears.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
1 year ago

@ lainy & lurker

I’d second that advice. Also, keep a contemporaneous record of any incidents. Time date place what happens etc.

I’m not sure what jurisdiction you’re in, but it occurs to me that some general advice on obtaining restraining orders/injunctions/non molestation orders etc might be handy for some of our English Mammotheers.

Is that anything anyone would find useful? If so, I’ll bash something out.

Onager
Onager
1 year ago

My thoughts go out to all those effected by this outrage. I’m sad and angry, not much brainpower left over for digging deep into his motivations but I’m glad people are exposing this to sunlight – the best disinfectant. My concern has been that those on the right will try and shrug it off as just being an 8chan thing when it is clearly a toxic spectrum and a lot of those tweets show people calling out those normalising some of this nonsense in the mainstream.

@Lainy. You might want to suggest your boss run that pathetic excuse passed his lawyer or an HR as I’d imagine they’d have some stern words for him (I’m assuming they’re a he, adjust the following accordingly). However, you’ve highlighted this and he has dropped the ball so I can see why you might not want to keep hammering away at this particular stuck nail. Contacting the police is a good idea but you might also want to speak to a friendly layer who can send your boss a letter detailing all the ways he is wrong, negligent and leaving the organisation open to all sorts of legal issues if this isn’t addressed – not a threat that you’d sue but he clearly needs to know quite how legally exposed he is. If you don’t know one I’m sure anti-stalking charities can find a lawyer for you in your jurisdiction and they’d probably be prepared to work pro bono.

Keep yourself safe in the meantime.

@Alan I doubt it’d ever be a wasted effort.

Lainy
Lainy
1 year ago

I’m going to try with a police report but I can already see it not going over well. Everyone I’ve talked to already has basically said “oh so the boy just got you some flowers, stared at you and told you your pretty and you want to make a big deal out of it” and I’m like first of all he’s 23 years old. He’s an adult man not a boy, I’m not a girl, he shouldn’t know where I live or that my favorite flower is yellow tulips. He’s also been leaving like “love” notes in my bag which means he’s going through my things. (it’s in a locker by the way, unless he’s coming into the girls restroom and putting them in there when it’s outside the stall he’s going into my locker) I can’t prove anything and everyone higher up then me has been treating it like it’s nothing. I’m tempted to give them my fiancé’s and parents contact info and tell them they can call my love ones after he kills me then.

Onager
Onager
1 year ago

On the previous thread it was said that the mainstream media might not be well placed to address this. I think Bellingcat’s analysis is probably the best so far and describes the manifesto as a trap for unwary journalists:

https://www.bellingcat.com/news/rest-of-world/2019/03/15/shitposting-inspirational-terrorism-and-the-christchurch-mosque-massacre/

Lainy
Lainy
1 year ago

Also want to add that these flowers didn’t go to the front desk of my apartment complex, no they went to my actually apartment. Like had a flower delivery guy knocking on my door which is why I thought it was from my fiancé.

Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Scildfreja Unnyðnes
1 year ago

@Lainy, that’s terrifying. Stay safe my duck. Heck, Finding somewhere safe that he doesn’t know about to crash at for awhile may be a good idea too. Not that you should go there now, but that you should find a place and be ready to go there instead of home – if you find out that stalkerbro is waiting for you at your home one day or something.

N’th’ing the suggestion to contact the police and get a record of events going, too. This guy sounds like someone who doesn’t hear the word no very well. Also want to suggest job-hunting for someplace else, too; as much as you’re able to of course.

Stay safe <3

Onager
Onager
1 year ago

@Lainy I’m disappointed that the reaction from people you’ve told has been so dismissive. He clearly left behaviour that could be defined as “romantic” long behind and his behaviour sounds very manipulative to the point where it sounds like he is enjoying your discomfort.

If a friend or family member told me that was happening I’d be concerned for their safety and would do what I could to ensure they’re safe and are taken seriously. It might all peter out and come to nothing but I wouldn’t want to rely on “might”. The police should treat this seriously, if only because they’ve so badly dropped the ball in the past. If you speak to someone from an anti-stalking charity they will be better placed to identify all the red flags and help you frame the case properly when you do go and see the police.

Good luck.

Lainy
Lainy
1 year ago

@Scildfreja

You know if I knew what I was doing that attracted such creepy guys in my life I would stop it. I think it’s just because I’m short and tiny, makes me an easy target or something. Ever since my assault when I was a teenager and I started to read this blog, I read all the things the creepy type of men complain about on women and tried to adapt some of those things into my look. Short hair, unnatural dyed colors, a few tattoos, stuff like that but it doesn’t seem to work very well.

@all
I’m sorry for bring this up at all. I was waiting for an open thread to maybe talk about some of the creepy stuff my co-worker was doing and then the open thread was about the shooting and my problems seemed so small compared to it. If I derailed anything I’m sorry and I formly apologize to Bookworm in a Hijab if I did. The horrific crimes committed against Muslim people are far greater then anything I could be dealing with and I really hope I didn’t take away from that.

Fishy Goat
Fishy Goat
1 year ago

@Lainy We just hope that you will be safe. <3

epitome of incomprehensibility

@Lainy – Don’t worry about being off-topic. Your safety is important. Besides what everyone else has mentioned, do you have a lock you can put on your locker at work? It’s worrying that this guy has gone in there to leave notes.

Scanisaurus
Scanisaurus
1 year ago

Hi, I’ve been following this blog for years now and I finally decided to de-lurk, but my first post doesn’t show up (it was hours ago) and I did read through the comment policy and followed all instructions. Am I doing something wrong?

Lainy
Lainy
1 year ago

@Epitome

That’s the scary part. My locker does have a lock on it. I have a little key for it. Its not a padlock

Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Intergalactic Meanie
Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Intergalactic Meanie
1 year ago

@Lainy,

I’d say get a combination lock pronto, and use that instead. If he’s still leaving notes in your purse after that, then you know he’s doing it via entering the bathroom, if nothing else.

Also, see how the local hotels are set up to dissuade strangers from entering them and find out how much they are per night. And keep a travel bag with a change or two of clothes in it plus toiletries, just in case you need to move fast and none of your friends/family are available right then (like, if you need to move at like 2am on a party night or something).

General queastion: how easy is it for someone who isn’t in law enforcement to track check/credit card purchases from a third party’s account(s)? Because if this guy is regularly rifling through Lainy’s purse, he might have gotten those account numbers and…. D:

(And sorry if I just added a new layer of fear on you, Lainy, but that just occurred to me, and decided to at least ask so that avenue for tracking you can be blocked.)

Lainy
Lainy
1 year ago

@Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Intergalactic Meanie

I didn’t even think about that. His family is pretty well off so I doubt he would need what little money I had in my accounts. And if he can see what I’m purchasing I feel like he would have said something about it given the amount of sex toys and lingerie I bought the last couple of weeks. This is a guy who comments if I wear a different type of perfume then from what I normally wear. I just feel like he wouldn’t be able to keep the knowledge of the fact I bought a fishnet body suit to himself. My bank also has really good Identify thief protection stuff. I get an email alert if my banking stuff is even looked at from a different computer then what I normally use.

Crip Dyke
Crip Dyke
1 year ago

Lainy, none of this is your fault.

None of this is your fault.

None of this is your fault.

And while it’s unfortunate that this is happening to you and you needed space to talk about it, and that it’s so urgent you couldn’t even wait for a more open-ended thread, I don’t think that a thread responding to mass murder is a bad place to talk about solving problems that might lead to future violence.

I’m glad you’re talking about it. I hope that you’re able to take steps that protect you well. And none of this is your fault.

Be well. Be safe. Do good.

seedy

Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Scildfreja Unnyðnes
1 year ago

@Lainy, you aren’t doing anything wrong to get this attention. If you are short then that is probably part of it; predators like looking for targets that are less physically imposing. That’s why men tend to prefer dating women who are shorter than they are. Our romance/dating/beauty standards are run through with predatory garbage.

It sounds to me like this guy has access to whatever information that the company has on you. It’s good that your bank has such good theft protection, because if he feels snubbed that might be a path he tries to take. So he won’t be able to do anything to your account that way. Good!

You’re in a really awful spot, my duck. I’d run with the assumption that he knows anything about you that your employers know. Either way, I hope that you tossing his flower on the ground and driving away gave him a clue to piss off, and that it won’t cost you your job. Ideally he’ll just be grumpy and will avoid you.

I hope it turns out for the best! <3

Scanisaurus
Scanisaurus
1 year ago

“Our romance/dating/beauty standards are run through with predatory garbage.”

I couldn’t agree more, and it’s scary how little the broad mass questions why the current beauty standard is for women to be smaller than her man and why a relationship between a young woman just entering adulthood and a man old enough to be her father should be accepted just like that, or why clothing deemed feminine, like high heels and tight skirts are actively hindering women’s movement and preventing them from running, and that’s not even going into all the creepy stalker tropes in all “romantic” books and movies out there.

Diego Duarte
Diego Duarte
1 year ago

@Lainy

Sorry you are going through this. You need to start looking at other employment alternatives, just in case. Remember that the current political climate has emboldened not only White supremacists, but also all forms of misogynists, even if both groups intersect one another.

Is it currently possible to move in with your fiance? Somewhere he can’t track you? I’m not trying to freak you out any more than you already are but, as others have said, safety comes first. You have absolutely no guarantee how this guy will react to a flat out rejection. Best case scenario I see him just bumping up workplace hostility until you leave, worst case scenario he could get violent.

Unfortunately I can only see the police being just as dismissive as management was, so it’s better to take matters into your own hands.

Victorious Parasol
1 year ago

@Lainy

I’ll add my voice to the chorus of support here. Stay safe. Take precautions. Remember that it is not YOUR responsibility to teach this guy how to behave, or to do anything else for him.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Reminds me of a creepy story from a few years ago. When I was moving out of my apartment, I cleaned out a junk drawer in my hallway. I found one of those magazine subscription cards with a note on it. The note was about how it was so nice to meet and talk to me. I have absolutely no idea how it could have possibly gotten there or who could have possibly left it. I racked my brain. I’ve got nothing. It was so creepy.

Anyway, Lainey, always follow your gut instinct. If someone sets your creepdar off, don’t let anyone else talk you out of it. Mine never, ever steers me wrong.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
1 year ago

I’m often asked, what’s the best self defence tip for women*; I always reply “Don’t die of politeness”.

I won’t presume to teach any of the women here how to suck eggs over how predators use the social pressure not to ‘make a scene’ when manipulating women.

And I know I’m alway banging on about the work of Gavin DeBecker, and you all know all this though bitter experience, but I’ll just stick this here so you can tick them off as you recognise them.

Forced Teaming. This is when a person implies that they have something in common with their chosen victim, acting as if they have a shared predicament when that isn’t really true. Speaking in “we” terms is a mark of this, i.e. “We don’t need to talk outside… Let’s go in.”

Charm and Niceness. This is being polite and friendly to a chosen victim in order to manipulate him or her by disarming their mistrust.

Too many details. If a person is lying they will add excessive details to make themselves sound more credible to their chosen victim.

Typecasting. An insult is used to get a chosen victim who would otherwise ignore one to engage in conversation to counteract the insult. For example: “Oh, I bet you’re too stuck-up to talk to a guy like me.” The tendency is for the chosen victim to want to prove the insult untrue.

Loan Sharking. Giving unsolicited help to the chosen victim and anticipating they’ll feel obliged to extend some reciprocal openness in return.

The Unsolicited Promise. A promise to do (or not do) something when no such promise is asked for; this usually means that such a promise will be broken. For example: an unsolicited, “I promise I’ll leave you alone after this,” usually means the chosen victim will not be left alone. Similarly, an unsolicited “I promise I won’t hurt you” usually means the person intends to hurt their chosen victim.

Discounting the Word “No”. Refusing to accept rejection.

(*I teach women’s self defence classes, so it’s not like random people coming up)

Lainy
Lainy
1 year ago

Is it currently possible to move in with your fiance? Somewhere he can’t track you?

My fiancé is a united state marine currently stationed in Japan for the next 2 and half years. It’s a nice idea but not feasible and I’m in school right now.

@Scildfreja Unnyðnes

It sounds to me like this guy has access to whatever information that the company has on you.

I think so too. Still there are some things that are really bothering me that he knows about. He should not know that tulips are special to me. Its been a long day already. I spent about an hour and a half today speaking to an officer that must have been in his 60s who was not taking me seriously at all. He’s basically advice was since he hasn’t touched me, threatened me, or made an unwanted sexual advance towards me in a clear enough way there isn’t anything at all an office can do since I have no proof of my other claims. He basically told me I should find a new job if it bothers me so much which basically got me screaming at him. he knows where I live. What am I suppose to do, pack up and move incase he comes to my home.

Lainy
Lainy
1 year ago

Typecasting. An insult is used to get a chosen victim who would otherwise ignore one to engage in conversation to counteract the insult. For example: “Oh, I bet you’re too stuck-up to talk to a guy like me.” The tendency is for the chosen victim to want to prove the insult untrue.

Loan Sharking. Giving unsolicited help to the chosen victim and anticipating they’ll feel obliged to extend some reciprocal openness in return.

Check, yes yup.

The Unsolicited Promise. A promise to do (or not do) something when no such promise is asked for; this usually means that such a promise will be broken. For example: an unsolicited, “I promise I’ll leave you alone after this,” usually means the chosen victim will not be left alone. Similarly, an unsolicited “I promise I won’t hurt you” usually means the person intends to hurt their chosen victim.

He’s done shit like ask me out to a movie and say it’s not like it’s a date and then when I bring up my fiancé he’s like ” what he doesn’t allow you to have friends? you need his permission to go to a movie? wow you seemed more independent then that to me” does that count?

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
1 year ago

@ Lainy

Yeah, that’s a mix of unsolicited promise “it’s not a date” (in his head it’s a date); and typecasting “so you just allow yourself to be someone else’s property?”

Lainy
Lainy
1 year ago

@Alan Robertshaw

He’s like if an incel was mixed with a pua and then had a dash of feminist terms sprinkled in. If that makes any since at all. If I didn’t teach children then when he would bring up the “oh so your being his property then” I’d probably say something along the lines of “well only when he puts my collar around my neck” because I’m pretty sure he has it in his head that I’m a sweet Christian virgin for some reason. Some comments he has made. There was a time like a month ago where he and two other guys that work there were making some dirty jokes in break lounge and when I went back there to get a water out of the fridge he was like “wait guys, you’ll make our sweet little ballet teacher blush” I think I rolled my eyes so hard I sprained something. Things like that is how it started and now it’s what it is.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
1 year ago

@ Lainy

then had a dash of feminist terms sprinkled in.

Oh yeah, they’re learning the terminology, and how to use that itself to manipulate women “Oh, so you’re not sex positive then?”.

One of the many reasons I would never use the word feminist to describe myself is i think, coming unsolicited from a guy, it’s one of the biggest red flags going. As are all self described positive traits. If you have to tell people you are something, then generally you’re not; and I think that’s especially true with guys and feminism. It’s a judgment women get to make, not a label men can apply to themselves.

Just my own view of course; I guess there’s nothing wrong in a space like this with guys expressing solidarity of course. Just not something I personally would find comfortable.

Diego Duarte
Diego Duarte
1 year ago

@Lainy

Any chance any of your friends, or your fiance’s friends, can pretend to be him and take him out for some serious “talk”? The buffer the dude, the better. As in, sorry but I don’t think politeness is gonna cut it with this guy. I feel like he’s going to continue to view you as prey unless he gets it into his head that you’re not as vulnerable as he thinks you are.

And I get that you shouldn’t have to go to such extreme lengths to discourage some creepy ass stalker, who won’t take no for an answer, but plenty of women gotten killed because they had the nerve to say “no”.

Moon Custafer
Moon Custafer
1 year ago

@Scanisaurus:

Sometimes posts to this site take a while to show up. It’s annoying, but it’s nothing that you’re doing.

Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Scildfreja Unnyðnes
1 year ago

@Scanisaurus, welcome and hello! When you make your first post, it’s moderated – David will check it to see that you aren’t some awful troll or something, then let it through. You can post normally now.

The situation in Sweden seems to be getting worse – I’m not from there but I know people who are and get to see some of the local news. I really hope that you guys can fight off the horrible racism that’s rising up around the world. I hope we all can. But I think we will. There’s more of us than we know, we’re just not as loud. Keep up the fight <3

@Lainy, that dood is bad news bears. Your instinct sounds right on about him. Try to not be alone with him.

You’re going to school, though, that’s good! Schools have resources to help people with stuff like this. Lean on them, they want to help you! They’ll often even have people who can walk you home, go out with you to places, etc; all sorts of sneaky stuff. At the least they’ll give you someone to talk to and can help you find a graceful way through the situation you’re in.

You can always talk to us here, too. Don’t worry about whether the thread is appropriate or not. We all have to pull for each other, together. You’re gonna get through this gross situation just fine.

Lainy
Lainy
1 year ago

Any chance any of your friends, or your fiance’s friends, can pretend to be him and take him out for some serious “talk”? The buffer the dude, the better

I’m friends with one of the football players, I could ask him I suppose. I really don’t like being a bother on others.

@Scildfreja Unnyðnes
I try my best. At this point I’ve just started ranting about things that have been building up for me.

Diego Duarte
Diego Duarte
1 year ago

@Lainy

I’m friends with one of the football players, I could ask him I suppose. I really don’t like being a bother on others.

I completely understand where you are coming from, but you don’t want to risk it. Fuck pride, prioritize survival.

Having had a malignant narcissist and a sociopath for a father, I speak from experience when I say only violence, or the threat of violence, puts a stop to these sort of people. And the guy you keep on describing is raising all kinds of red flags. Dunno if he’s just as bad, but he seems really manipulative, and THAT’s something to watch out for.

Lainy
Lainy
1 year ago

I’m going to try my best to stay safe on Wednesday. You guys can better believe i’ll be wearing my mini sword chop sticks in my bun. I’m not above stabbing him in the eye to get away.

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
1 year ago

@Lainy

Seconding all the support from others here — especially what @Diego Duarte. When you say you don’t like being a bother, that’s basically falling into the politeness trap @Alan describes. This is the right time to be a bother.

About how your school can help — I don’t know your situation, obviously (undergrad, grad?), but one thing you can do is let your department know, not just campus security. Tell them about the stalker, give them his name and a description, make sure they know not to give out any information to him (they shouldn’t anyway, but just to be double-safe). Just in case he tries to follow you to school, make sure they’re ready and know to call security if he shows up.

All the best.

A. Noyd
A. Noyd
1 year ago

@Lainy
Maybe spend some time looking at scripts and strategies over at Captain Awkward. Your situation is unfortunately quite common, so I’m sure you’ll find lots of useful stuff in the archives there.