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Nick Fury is shown washing dishes: The Top 5 Worst Male-Bashing Elements in Captain Marvel, according to some dingus

Lady Captain Marvel misandering in front of a dude

By David Futrelle

You’ve probably heard of the Christian movie review sites that rate whether or not the latest Hollywood offerings will be good wholesome fun for the entire (evangelical Christian) family, carefully cataloging each film’s unsavory elements, from beheadings to glimpses of nipple, and even how many times characters in movies take the Lord’s name in vain?

For example, did you know that the film Hereditary contains “20 f-words … Multiple uses of the s-word and ‘h—‘ [and] some 10 misuses of God’s and Jesus’ name?” Though somehow I doubt that swearing will be what most offends fundamentalist Christians watching the film.

Anyway, now there’s a site that seems to have decided to perform a similar service for the sort of fragile male comic book nerds who get mad when allegedly man-hating ladies star in movies about superheroes in spandex, small businesses specializing in ghost-capture, and wars in space (among the stars, as it were).

So let’s take a look at the Cosmic Book News review of Captain Marvel: The One With the Lady in It, which opened (big) this weekend.

Like an unfortunate number of fragile comic book dudes who think they speak for all fans, Cosmic Book News’ Editor in Chief Matt McGloin doesn’t much like the film — though to his credit he has actually seen it, unlike most of those who have decided largely based on their own hurt feelings that the film is the worst thing to ever hit cinemas.

“Overall, Captain Marvel comes off as a rather dull and lackluster movie,” McGloin writes.

[J]oining Gunn’s Guardians of the Galaxy and Waititi’s Thor: Ragnarok, it is another spit in the face of Marvel Cosmic fans.

Ah, yes, very helpful to cite that universally loathed cinematic disaster Guardians of the Galaxy, which somehow managed to garner a 91% critic score and a 92% audience score on Rotten Tomatoes (back before angry dudes started review-bombing every movie they saw as a crime against maleness).

The film is loaded with anti-male imagery, footage and dialogue, which is simply insulting as well as alienating (similar to Disney Star Wars).

Apparently he’s still mad about Laura Dern’s purple hair in The Last Jedi.

It felt as if there were two different drafts of the movie, an initial draft with the storyline, but a second draft was commissioned which saw the directors, Feige and the producers go over it with a fine tooth comb to add the feminist male-bashing elements, of which there were many that came off forced and completely out of place, like much of the movie.

Yes. I’m sure that’s exactly how it happened. You may not know this, but all Hollywood movie scripts these days go through a rigorous misandering process, including an extensive review by the Misandry Board, to ensure that they contain the requisite amount of male-bashing, before hitting the screen.

You may wonder what specific misandries are contained in Captain Marvel. Well, our helpful reviewer has provided a list, conveniently titled “Male-bashing elements in Captain Marvel” in large type in case you weren’t sure that’s what they were.

Here are what I would say are the Top Five male-bashing elements from his list.

Carol’s dad is mean to her. …

When Carol crashed into the Blockbuster, she blew the head off Arnold Schwarzenegger (a male) of the True Lies standee, not Jamie Lee Curtis (a female).

Carol is hit on and insulted by the motorcycle guy.

What is wrong with calling a girl a young lady? Talos calls Maria a young lady a couple of times, which she gets mad about. Huh?

And the most egregious misandering of all:

Nick Fury … is shown washing dishes.

I’m really not sure is the male gender will be able to survive such an assault.

Apparently, these egregious assaults on maleness aren’t the only things wrong with the film. McGloin also feels that Captain Marvel doesn’t smile enough, that Nick Fury lost his eye for the wrong reason, and that the music used for the film was too girl-powery or something.

No Doubt’s “Just A Girl” was awful and didn’t fit with the scene or footage. Certainly, if we are trying to push the “girl power” aspect of the movie even further, a better song could have been picked. It was so out of place and killed all the build up. A majority of the songs also felt out of place, as they too, were pushing an obvious agenda. 

Having not seen the film, I have no idea how well “Just a Girl” fits the scene it’s used in, but looking at the list of songs featured in the film I have to say that I am shocked that a film about a female superhero set in the 1990s contains numerous songs sung and sometimes also written and performed by women that were popular in the 1990s.

Be careful out there, fellas! You never know when or where you might be misandered. Not even the movie theaters are safe these days!

H/T — This tweet by @renfamous alerted me to the existence of this amazing review

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Talonknife
Talonknife
1 year ago

The L. stands for “Motherfucker.”

Snowberry
Snowberry
1 year ago

Sometimes it seems like Real Men™ are all about three things:

1. Attempting to impress women with things that generally don’t impress them, and punishing women for failing to be impressed.

2. Bragging about how much they get laid, while getting less sex than most Beta Men™.

3. Most relevant to the topic: Going to ridiculous lengths to justify laziness and poor self-care.

Malitia
Malitia
1 year ago

motherf#@kin’

motherflerken? :3

Genjones
Genjones
1 year ago

@JessicaRed

Jesus’ name was Yeshua, the root form of Joshua. So he’s Josh Christ

PocketNerd
PocketNerd
1 year ago

When Carol crashed into the Blockbuster, she blew the head off Arnold Schwarzenegger (a male) of the True Lies standee, not Jamie Lee Curtis (a female).

Shooting the head off a promotional standee of a male actor is a particularly weird choice of complaint here, given how often these same dudes loudly insist that media depicting, normalizing, and justifying violence against women isn’t inherently misogynist.

Malitia
Malitia
1 year ago

Aaaaand if I’m at Flerken. Here are some comic strips that’ll be comic book covers thanks to the marketing around Goose (ie. Marvel MEOW):

Venom (will be on ‘Thor’)
Guardians of the Galaxy (will be on ‘Meet the Skrulls’)
Captain Marvel (will be on ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’)
Woverine (will be on ‘Wolverine: Infinity Watch’)
Spider-Man (will be on ‘Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man’)
Ms. Marvel (will be on ‘Daredevil’)

(10 pics per link. Swipe left / there are navigational arrows.)

Dalillama
Dalillama
1 year ago

Re: blowing off Ahnold’s cardboard head, it’s worth noting that in the image used for the standee, he’s holding a gun…

Contrapangloss
Contrapangloss
1 year ago

Re: small dishwashers

Somehow, I think they’d find Fury loading a small dishwasher just as horrid as hand washing, though.

When I someday have indoor plumbing, I’m putting a mini-dishwasher on the wish list. 🙂

Dry cabin, so dishwashing is a pain involving an electric kettle, modified water bottles, 2 ten gallon pails, as little water as possible, and lots of stubborn.

Burning Witch
Burning Witch
1 year ago

I’m happy to see the MRAs in tears over this. I hope they spend weeks crying into their anime child rape fantasy pillows. However, merely having a female lead does not make a movie feminist. Several elements of “Captain Marvel” are problematic to say the least.

1. The titular “Captain Marvel” is a soldier working first for the American military and then for the Kree. Both are aggressively colonialist and Captain Marvel willingly supports each in turn. She never condemns colonialism in the movie, not once. She simply decides she is working for the WRONG colonialist patriarchy.

2. “Action girl” characters like this are not meaningfully female. Captain Marvel’s womanhood is a character note, like in a line of toys for children (which the Marvel movies increasingly resemble). Each character is defined the Smart Guy, the Strong Guy, the Guy With A Dog, the Explosives Guy, ect, and Captain Marvel is simply the Woman Guy. This unsexes the character and presents her as an object for male play and fantasy. She’s an action figure for men and boys to covet, own, control, and fantasize about fucking.

3. Related to the last point. Captain Marvel solves her problems through intimidation, violence and murder. These are male-coded aspects, implying that women can only be powerful by adopting the brutality and hatred of patriarchal society. This tells our daughters that women are weak and the only way to be powerful is to cease being a woman.

4. The movie was not solely woman-written, solely woman-directed or woman-produced. Even when men allow stories about women to EXIST they don’t trust us to tell our own stories. A man is always involved at every step.

5. Perhaps most seriously the massive profits of this film do not benefit the sisterhood of women. Instead they are siphoned by the misogynist Hollywood capitalist machine, where it will finance pornography and continue the lavish lifestyle of media moguls who regard women as consumable and disposable.

Bookworm in hijab
Bookworm in hijab
1 year ago

If you want to laugh a lot, Google “Samuel L. Jackson reads ‘Go The Fuck To Sleep'”. 😁 And then forward it to all the new parents you know…

I must admit, I have a total potty mouth, though I’m careful where I uncensor myself. I don’t usually drop F-bombs in conversation, and to be honest I avoid movies where there’s a lot of swearing or characters obviously having sex (though that’s also because I’m more into Disney and Miyazaki than action films, and those heroines don’t exactly swear a lot!) But the whole “don’t use God’s name” thing totally doesn’t make sense for me; Muslims are always saying inshallah and alhamdulilah; the “lah” in those is Allah… So I guess by some standards….that’s swearing… JessicaRed, I had never heard the explanation that “don’t take Gods name in vain” meant “don’t call upon the Lord to give you stuff or do stuff for you that you can do yourself, especially if it’s not important, or is purely selfish”; that’s very interesting and puts a different spin on it!

I will now absolutely go see this movie; it makes all the right (wrong? Whatever) people angry…

Nasha
Nasha
1 year ago

Just saw it, it’s awesome, and the soundtrack is fantastic. Nothing felt out of place or forced. Take your kids, have a blast. Make a mean little man cry.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
1 year ago

@ bookworm in hijab

The prohibition on using god’s name did give us some interesting mixed oaths.

Bloody for ‘by our lady’ is of course still common here; as is strewth, god’s truth.

But I’d like to see a comeback for gadzooks and odds bodkins; both references to the nails of the crucifiction. And zounds, as in god’s wounds.

Spaniard in the Works
Spaniard in the Works
1 year ago

In another news, Zidane’s return to Real Madrid made the Spanish Football Federation tweet this honorable entry in the Unfortunate Collages Gallery:

https://twitter.com/LaLiga/status/1105158194064691200?s=09

Notice how the smiling head on the left when juxtaposed with the body shot in front of it, if you don’t pay attention looks like Zidane is doing the Happy Merchant pose.

mildlymagnificent
mildlymagnificent
1 year ago

Weatherwax

Seconding the love for small dishwashers.

At our previous house we had dishdrawers. Which is basically a large dishwasher with 2 separate bodies rather than an upper and lower drawer within a single machine. Now I have a single dish drawer.

Marvelous.

Curious_Diversions
Curious_Diversions
1 year ago

Bookworm in hijab:

If you want to laugh a lot, Google “Samuel L. Jackson reads ‘Go The Fuck To Sleep’”

Seconded! This came out when I was a new parent. My s.o. and I quoted it often.

Re: god’s name in vain.

My uncle’s explanation was, “God doesn’t like it when you yell at him.” He illustrated this by repeatedly yelling my name in the same tone and inflection used in cursing. I could see his point.

kupo
kupo
1 year ago

@mildlymagnificent
I want that. It sounds neat and would solve the problem of needing to dirty every dish before running a cycle so as to be energy efficient.

Bookworm in hijab
Bookworm in hijab
1 year ago

@ Curious Diversions,

He illustrated this by repeatedly yelling my name in the same tone and inflection used in cursing.

Hmm. I do that to my pets when they misbehave…🤔 Seems effective! If not at correcting the behaviour, than at least at making me feel better.

Kevin
Kevin
1 year ago

@ Genjones

I might have gone for Yeshua ben Yusuf/ Joshua Josephson, not sure how to fit in the Christ, what with it being a religious title rather than a surname.

Bookworm in hijab
Bookworm in hijab
1 year ago

@ Alan Robertshaw,

gadzooks and odds bodkins; both references to the nails of the crucifiction.

I didn’t know that! 😃

Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Scildfreja Unnyðnes
1 year ago

@bookworm,

comment image

That stuff was formative for me

Turan, Emissary of the Fly World
Turan, Emissary of the Fly World
1 year ago

I posted this in the other thread, but it works just as well as a response to McGloin’s review:
comment image

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
1 year ago

@Pocketnerd:

these same dudes loudly insist that media depicting, normalizing, and justifying violence against women isn’t inherently misogynist.

As you probably already know… “that’s different!!!”

re: taking the diety’s name in vain… while asking god for next week’s lottery numbers would likely qualify, and saying insh’allah (roughly “if god wills it”) after “see ya at work tomorrow” might imply more concern by the diety about out minor comings and goings than is reasonable…

I think the standard xian fundy objection refers to blatant exclamations like “Great bleeding Christ on a bucket with a fucking tambourine!!!”… and the like.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
1 year ago

@ weird eddie

might imply more concern by the diety about out minor comings and goings than is reasonable…

Well he does purport to take notice even when a sparrow falls, so I guess being omnipotent allows for such things. Or maybe he just like ornithology? He did make a lot of birds.

Michael Suttkus, II
Michael Suttkus, II
1 year ago

I’m not an expert, but I’m pretty sure that the prohibition on taking God’s name in vain referred specifically to God’s actual proper name, the one that’s abbreviated YHWH in the Bible because using the full name would be, you know, taking God’s name too casually. Using his full name improperly was considered such a sin that only priests were allowed to utter it, and only during ceremonies, and, well, that’s why nobody knows what the vowels are supposed to be today since the line of priests was broken.

(And Wikipedia seems to agree! Which clearly proves I’m right because Wikipedia is the most trustworthy source of knowledge in the universe.)

Also, I think what ticks MRAs off about Thor: Ragnarok is just that Thor is treated humorously. He’s manly and muscled and should be treated with all the respect and reverence that raw masculinity is due, and this movie makes fun of him! MISANDRY!

I mean, it’s not like the real mythological Thor ever had stories making fun of him. *cough*
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C3%9Erymskvi%C3%B0a

Kevin
Kevin
1 year ago

@ Alan Robertshaw

‘…an inordinate fondness for beetles…’

Sorry, couldn’t resist.

Minerva
Minerva
1 year ago

Well, I saw the movie last night. Tis good. Of course, the cat steals the show. Cats do that.

Fabe
Fabe
1 year ago

Also, I think what ticks MRAs off about Thor: Ragnarok is just that Thor is treated humorously. He’s manly and muscled and should be treated with all the respect and reverence that raw masculinity is due, and this movie makes fun of him! MISANDRY!

I mean, it’s not like the real mythological Thor ever had stories making fun of him. *cough*
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C3%9Erymskvi%C3%B0a

I now want to see that adapted into a short movie with Chris Hemsworth and Tom Hiddleston

Bookworm in hijab
Bookworm in hijab
1 year ago

@ Alan Robertshaw, Kevin,
I remember the “inordinate fondness for beetles” line (though I can’t remember who said it originally); it gets quoted a lot chez us when the ladybugs return to the garden.

Weird Eddie,

“Great bleeding Christ on a bucket with a fucking tambourine!!!”

Wow. That…that’s a new one! *blink, blink*

😁

@Scildfreja Unnyðnes, in the context, do you mean saying your name with the inflection of swear words was formative?! 😉

dashapants
dashapants
1 year ago

@Contrapangloss

But what if the tiny dishwasher was built by a giant Peter Dinklage and powered by a quasar? Would it be manly enough for Nick Fury then?

Also, I echo the demand for Thrymskvida! to be made part of the MCU. I’d see it twice. With ALL my friends. And buy hard copy.

mildlymagnificent
mildlymagnificent
1 year ago

Alan

Or maybe he just like ornithology? He did make a lot of birds.

Speaking of ornithology … not just off-topic but sideways and upside down. I want this so badly.
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/11/science/wingspan-board-game-elizabeth-hargrave.html?action=click&module=Editors%20Picks&pgtype=Homepage

The only thing holding me back is waiting for the possibility of the Australian birds version.

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
1 year ago

@Kevin:
Don’t feel sorry; if you hadn’t said that, I would have.

dashapants
dashapants
1 year ago

Here, I’ll even start it for them.

INT.177A BLEECKER ST, NYC – LATE NIGHT

THOR sits crying into the infinite beer mug as Doctor Strange’s cloak of levitation pats him on the back in sympathy.

THOR
I miss my old hammer. I miss my asshole brother. *hiccup*
This one time a giant, well, he liked to put about that he was
a giant, a bit of a misnomer as it turned out on our wedding
night, anyway, he nicked my Mjollnir. So Loki and I, we got up
as these two saucy wenches, and we got it back we did,
I tell you all about it, buddy flying towel…

BEGIN FLASHBACK

Kestrel
Kestrel
1 year ago

Did everyone see this? It includes a picture of Goose walking the red carpet in a collar and tie!

https://news.avclub.com/goose-the-cat-from-captain-marvel-is-the-star-of-a-ne-1833205576/amp

tim gueguen
1 year ago

If Captain Marvel had featured a Jamie Lee Curtis standee losing its head they’d be complaining it was some sort of attack on “real” women or something like that.

Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Scildfreja Unnyðnes
1 year ago

@bookworm, that was formative too, but unrelated 😉

Kevin
Kevin
1 year ago

@ Bookworm in hijab

It seems to have been scientist JBS Haldane, on being asked his take on the mind of God, due to the estimated 400,000 existing species of beetles.

Catalpa
Catalpa
1 year ago

saying insh’allah (roughly “if god wills it”) after “see ya at work tomorrow” might imply more concern by the diety about out minor comings and goings than is reasonable…

Eh, technically “goodbye” is a contraction of “god be with ye”, so I think that’s a fairly standard parting sentiment, or at least it was when modern-ish English was forming.

Leliel
Leliel
1 year ago

@ Burning Witch

I like how you seem to be able to decide what is misogynist or not through psionic power, given you have obviously not actually seen the movie, and concern trolling.

1. This is proof you haven’t actually seen more than, oh, half? Possibly the first ten minutes? Why would be spoilers, but I don’t think they needed to condemn colonialism verbally when the film does that for them. Also that she never actually works for the US, she and the military just find themselves with a common goal and split afterwards. Like normal people.

2. & 3. So sorry that the filmmakers have different opinions than you, and that your gender essentialism isn’t catered to. Wait, no I’m not. Gender essentialism is infinitely worse, since it says that women can’t actually defend themselves or chose certain careers and still be women. They must be homemakers, or doctors, or counselors, or basically anything that isn’t active. All the more convenient for the male warriors who get to have an entire gender do all the things that are “too unmanly” for them. Or have any agency. I know this is true, all the TERFs say so!

4. Ah, so it’s literally impossible for a male to talk about women without getting his reverse cooties on it. You literally cannot just let a woman take the lead, and ask females for their advice, or basically do anything that indicates self-awareness about being a male trying to write a woman in a world where all women writing women is sadly still unfeasible for big budget, REVERSE COOOTIEEEES!

5. I have some very bad news about the computer you’re using then, if this completely tangential thing that nobody in the movie or watching it can affect, is the most serious thing. Better get off of it. Better stop watching any feminist movies, it’ll just fund the makers to go off and power the capitalist machine with their new money by buying food.

Malitia
Malitia
1 year ago

What’s with the random/accidental communism of the “Who Do You Do Fellow SJWs!” anti-Captain Marvel trolls? (Not just Burning Witch. In the last week or so I came across several (butt ugly) memes also making that argument.)

Onager
Onager
1 year ago

I’m disappointed as Cosmic Comic News has been a good source of news about some of my favourite parts of the DCU and MCU. However, I’ve clearly not kept a close enough eye on them because I’d have ignored the site once I’d seen that they hated GotG and Thor: Ragnarok, some of my favourite Marvel movies.

I mean anyone who posts the following on the Internet is clearly beyond the self-parody event horizon:

I’ve said it before, these movies are not aimed at comic fans

Dalillama
Dalillama
1 year ago

@Malitia
I’m guessing it’s a “How do you do, fellow kids” thing. Nazis trying to pretend to be SJWs with SJW reasons why the film is bad, but they don’t actually understand why SJWs do or say anything and aren’t very good at it. Or they’re TERFs, who are basically crypto-nazis ar this point.

Cyborgette
Cyborgette
1 year ago

So IDK about the movie, but the first volume of Kelly DeConnick’s comic does kind of deal with colonialism and empire. Not in an in-depth way, and it still lets Captain Marvel play the savior a bit, but not before demonstrating her complicity in what happened.

I do question a bunch of the narrative decisions, but hey, this is that magical thing where you can enjoy and respect a work while still critiquing it… right? RIGHT?

Anyway I’d personally recommend DeConnick’s other comic Pretty Deadly, which has women finding their freedom and men being held accountable for their shit on a bunch of levels. And the art by Emma Rios is fucking incredible.

/nerd

Anyway… hi again all. Sorry I vanished, stuff here got too stressful and also I had surgery. I’m okay now, though still kind of taking it easy.

octopod
octopod
1 year ago

So, uh. When a female character is mean to a male character, that’s misandry, but when a male character is mean to a female character, that’s also misandry?

Anonymous
Anonymous
1 year ago

Part of the problem is that the “mature”, “strong” men of the manosphere seem to treat comic books as if they were holy religious texts. Their mental age seems about 14 concerning anything, not just women.

Hans Verbeek
Hans Verbeek
1 year ago

I think these things are part of the reasons why I enjoyed the movie so much.

Moon_custafer
Moon_custafer
1 year ago

@Bookworm in hijab:

“Great bleeding Christ on a bucket with a fucking tambourine!!!”

Wow. That…that’s a new one! *blink, blink*

Especially since we all know Ama-no-Uzume did it first. 😉