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Vote like your life depends on it, because it does: Election Day Open Thread

We need to do more than vote, but we definitely need to vote

By David Futrelle

If you haven’t already, GO VOTE and then come back to enjoy(?) this open thread. Tell us how it went. Talk about any shady sit the GOP tries to pull today. Discuss the results as they come in. Talk about your hobbies. Post pictures of animals. Post videos. Whatever it takes to get through this incredibly nerve-wracking day.

No trolls.

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Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Intergalactic Meanie
Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Intergalactic Meanie
1 year ago

Now that I have a bit of free time to semi-organize my thoughts enough to turn into words, I’ll try and get this down in a semi-coherent mass.

So. There’s this guy (early to mid-twenties) at work (fast food place, btw), who always acts like a jerk, and who none of the managers seems willing to discipline. Or at least in a way that’d make him behave better.

This is a guy who thinks – or at least acts – like the best way to get a date with any of his female coworkers is to walk up to them and cold ask ‘will you be my girlfriend?’ In conversations with customers he knows fairly well, he’ll sometimes point at one of his coworkers and say ‘that’s my girlfriend’.

It doesn’t matter what the girls/women look like, or how old they are; he’s done that crap to most of the gals who work the same shift as him. He’s even gone so far as telling others at work that he and [gal] are going to get married when they aren’t even dating. The most recent woman I’m aware of that he pulled that on, was someone already in a long term relationship (~15 years long), and made it plain to the jerkwad that THAT was the guy she was going to marry. (Then he started trying to convince her to make it a threesome…. >,< )

He also makes snide little snarks at people to get a laugh. One time he asked me as I was getting off my break if I ‘felt better now that I had something in my tummy’ (the manager who overheard that one laughed like it was the funniest thing she’d heard all day). Another time one of the younger lobby ladies was wiping some trays down for me, and the jerkwad decides to take her aside and ask her if the reason I was letting her do ‘my job’ was because my hands were broken. I said he was as asshole because of that comment, so he spent the next several days with his actions proving that statement was an accurate description of him.

And on and on and on. He told one coworker ‘you have nice lips; I wonder what else you can do with them.’ On two occasions that I’m aware of, he found the unattended cell phones of two female coworkers and took selfies with them without permission, let alone informing them afterwards what he did. And so on.

And no-one in management seems willing to do anything about it. They can’t/won’t fire him ‘because you can’t fire someone for being annoying’ (in an at-will state?). One manager told me that the crew members have to take the initiative to start doing something to deal with this guy, but why the crew has to be the ones to take the initiative here (let alone what is supposed to be done), I have no idea.

One coworker floated the idea that he could have some sort of learning disability (based on her trying to explain something work-related to him, and him taking a good while to understand what she was trying to say). Which, if true, would explain why he hasn’t been fired yet, but doesn’t explain why no-one can figure out what kind of discipline will get him to be decent to his coworkers.

At this point, I’m at a loss for what to do. I can’t quit this job right now, since I still have a stack of bills that need paying off sooner rather than later. Reporting this guy to Corporate will more than likely backfire on whoever does it, so that’s out. He refuses to learn anything from the reactions of his coworkers to his actions, whether that’s in the form of snappish words or threats of a beating from angry husbands. (I know of two instances of that happening; in one case the jerk told the guy that his wife said she was leaving husband for him. >.< )

And on top of that, I seem to have become a 'Big Bad' in this guy's personal narrative, the mean grouchy woman who won't be nice to him, despite him treating me like crap while on the clock. And I can't find a way to consistently treat this guy and his actions without somehow feeding into some damn 'battle' he acts like we're doing. I ignore him / his actions, he 'wins', I get mad and snap at him for doing my job for no good reason, he 'wins'. There doesn't seem to be a way to just do my job without feeling like I'm feeding this 'game' or whatever it is.

So for now I just go in, and do my job, and hope that I don't get a face full of jerk attitude that shift. Best option I can see, from an array of less than stellar to bad choices.

My apologies that this came out so long; I was trying to keep it somewhat concise (and still left out a decent chunk of things / thoughts). First time I really put all of this down into words in one spot, so forgive me if it seems more than a bit disjointed in places. I may have edited things wrong before posting.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
1 year ago

Oh, gross. I wish I had helpful advice. I probably don’t. And please disregard if you are not wanting advice and just want to vent.

I would say to start documenting everything in case you ever do decide to report him after all. Because what that guy is doing is not being merely annoying. It’s sexual harassment.

Do you feel that you’re able to appeal to management one more time? He’s harassing his coworkers right in front of customers. I know if I saw that going on in a business I was patronizing, I’d report it to that businesses’ corporate office. Pointing out that his behavior could offend customers and negatively effect business might be the one thing that actually get management to do something. Given that McDonald’s recently got bad press when their employees had a walk out to protest sexual harassment, and Subway got bad press a few years ago when it came out that they knew that Jared guy was a molester and covered it up, getting a bad reputation might be a real fear for them.

Of course, no judgement if you just don’t feel safe trying to do anything more about it. If you really just want a safe space to complain about your situation, please feel free. Being harassed at work is not a minor and petty issue and you don’t need to feel like it’s not important enough to bring up here while there’s so much shit going on with Trump. If anything, it’s more important than ever that we support each other in these times. Everyday misogyny is always there, no matter what the government is like. But having a sexual predator in charge really amplifies it. At least it does to me.

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
1 year ago

Not only that; everyday misogyny is the fertile ground in which Trumpism was able to take root in the first place. Dealing with Trump somehow will mean winning a battle. Putting an end to everyday misogyny (and racism) will mean winning the war.

Z&T
Z&T
1 year ago

Redsilkphoenix,

Everything Weirwood said, this IS sexual harassment. The guy is creating an unsafe and potentially violent work space also.

Our best idea, self and pals here, – is to send an anonymous note to the corporate offices. Keep it short, go over the issues like here, don’t sign your name or name others, make it anon., and put it through snail mail also.

Someone will take note.

Our best wishes here, especially that this guy decides to just leave.
Suggest to him how great it would be to move to the Yukon or something. Your shop managers need to be replaced also, they are not doing their jobs. Someone should remind them of this or boot their asses out of there.

You seem to have more sense, you should be manager!

Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Intergalactic Meanie
Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Intergalactic Meanie
1 year ago

@All,

Thanks for the advice/support. I think the documenting could be doable at this time, since I cannot loose this job right now. Unemployment is not a guarantee in my state; if you walk out or if the state decides you were fired for a just cause, you’ll be denied. And I still have bills to catch up on, rent, car repairs that need to be done, etc. My other job is part-time only, and won’t really start to cover those things. Though I will keep the anonymous note thing in mind, just in case….

I do suspect that part of the problem with (some of) management is that they’re not really seeing what the jerk’s doing as ~sexual~ harassment, more like he’s trying to be a comedian and failing miserably. Plus, I’m not sure how much they’re actually aware of what he’s doing/done. Given that it’s pretty much understood that the jerk can do almost anything he wants and the managers won’t call him out – or so it seems from the crew perspective – his targets might not see the point of reporting him.

I could go on a bit more on why things may be seen a certain way here (at least from I can tell, anyway), but I’m not sure I’m awake enough right now to figure out where the line between explaining and making excuses is at, so maybe later for that.

Again, thanks your your support.