The (alleged) pickup artist who calls himself “Heartiste” is a lot of things — a misogynist, a homophobe, a racist, a bizarrely overwrought prose stylist, to name just a few of his more charming features. But one thing I never would have pegged him for? A Harry Potter fan.
Or if not necessarily a fan, per se, at least someone familiar with the basic plot of the Harry Potter series. But that he is.
In a blog post today (archived here) about the alleged omnipresence of cuckoldry in “popular (read: single White female and gay homosexual) culture,” Heartiste (real name James Weidmann) drops this bit of Harry Potter knowledge:
Harry Potter was perhaps the first major shitlib touchstone to vault willing cuckoldry into the wider culture as some kind of moral imperative; it was beta orbiter Snape, a man with the worst case of oneitis imaginable because he was in love with a dead woman who when alive wanted nothing to do with him, who vowed to look after Harry, (the child of his oneitis by another man Snape hated), out of a misplaced sense of loyalty and maybe hope for an afterlife consummation.
Literally “alpha fux and beta bux” from beyond the grave. What independent, empowered modern woman wouldn’t love that?
Well, the ladies do love them some Harry Potter, I’ll give Heartiste that, but I’m not sure “cuckoldry”has much to do with it.
It’s not that surprising that Heartiste looks at Snape and sees a cuck, because pretty much everywhere he looks he sees cucks. Indeed, the basic thesis of his post today can be pretty much summed up as “cuck, cuck, everywhere a cuck, blockin’ out the scenery, makin’ me cluck.”
As Heartiste sees it, “popular (read: single White female and gay homosexual) culture” is awash in cuckoldry because the ladies can’t get enough of this rampant glorification of “alpha fux and beta bux”– that is, the allegedly widespread female human mating strategy of having sex and making babies with hot, arrogant alpha dudes and then, when the alphas stop answering their texts, conning wimpy beta workadaddies to marry them up and pay the expenses of the bouncing baby alpha spawn.
As a result, Heartiste alleges, television today has become
a feminist wish fulfillment wasteland … There are shows that have blatantly pro-cuck plot lines in which a pregnant slut or single slut mommy has beta phagg suitors lining up to swear their loyalty to the bastard spawn, while the alpha cads that knocked these hos up are either nowhere found onscreen or they come and go continuing to service the sprog-saddled skanks with the least investment possible.
Hmm. The last TV show I binge-watched involved a guy with telekinetic powers trying, with the help of a mutant super-team, to fight off a secret government army while simultaneously defending his brain (and the world) from a devious mind parasite that sometimes takes the form of Aubrey Plaza. But maybe Heartiste has different TV tastes than I do.
So why do women “cheer Cuck Nation,” Heartiste asks, then quickly manswers his own question:
They know that good men, on a gut level that is impossible to sway with sophistic shaming appeals to the contrary, don’t want to raise the bastards of other men. No man wants to be duped into 18 years of servitude to a child that’s not his own. For the few men who walk into cuckoldry with eyes wide open, they never shake the resentment that ceaselessly thrums from knowing they willingly chose to be cuckolds for the chance at regular sex with a single mom.
Women cheer because the fantasy of the willing cuckold saving women from their big mistakes is a repudiation of the intractable laws of Biomechanics .. TV tells them, hey ladies, you can have that happiness without those cumbersome rules. Magic is real!
Men have their own version of this fantasy, Heartiste argues, in the form of
the trope of the nebbishy omega male with a hot blonde shiksa, or nerds exacting revenge on their jock tormentors. Rarely happens outside TVland, unless you count supreme gentleman Eliot Rodger.
Like the murderous Rodger, Heartiste has convinced himself that none of us ever escape the primal high school rivalry between jocks and nerds. And nothing (outside of “race mixing”) seems to evoke so much primal terror in him as the thought of men marrying single moms and (gasp!) caring for children that contain some other man’s DNA. This sort of “voluntary cucking,” he declares,
is in a way more loathsome than unwilling cuckoldry, because it’s harder to fathom the depth of depravity to which a man must have sunk if bartering his cuckoldry seems to him like the only way he can buy sex and love, and with damaged goods no less.
I can only wonder what Heartiste made of The Brady Bunch, that classic TV ode to the blended family. Were Mike and Carol Brady each simultaneously cucking the other?
But I digress. Let’s return to Heartiste, who is currently working himself into a frothy fit:
We can say then that Cuck Nation is nothing less than the total surrender of masculinity and any male prerogatives to runaway androgyny and sexual polarity-inverting feminism. It’s the metaphorical equivalent of lopping off a nation’s balls and importing a few foreign stud horses to do all the seeding. And the saddest facet of this DNA-denying degeneracy is that there are more than a few self-flagellating manginas who lap this shit up and hi-five bitterbitches under the false impression that this will earn them a pity handjob.
What the hell is going on in the heads of guys who think like Heartiste? Seriously, outside of literal cuckold fetishists, no one thinks about cuckolding more, and more obsessively, than alt-righters like him. And to what end? At least the cuckold fetishists are enjoying themselves.
Outrage addicts. Sheesh.
I just cannot take Heartiste seriously, anymore.
His entries are getting sillier and sillier, and if he thinks this is what passes for deep philosophical musings, well…he’s wrong.
I swear, most of his writing reads like a random nonsense generator. Really, I wonder if he ever daydreams that people are reading his shit, (like in a Philosophy 101 class) nodding in agreement, and fantasizing that his name will be treated with the same reverence as (whatever philosopher one admires.)
Shaddup, Weidmann. You’re boring.
This is boring compared to the Harry Potter Satanic Scare.
There’s a TMBG song that fits here but I’m not sure if it passes the comments policy.
Wat… how can a person go through the trouble of writing this… i mean… wat
Okay, this
is clearly a reference to Big Bang Theory. But where are all these TV shows where single moms have suitors lined up? Admittedly I watch mostly genre shows so maybe there’s a few network sitcoms I just don’t know about. The only show I can think of where this happens is Fuller House. DJ is only a single mom because she’s a widow though. The character is ridiculously goody-goody and doesn’t really fit with the rant about slutty damaged goods.
Okay, so I just outed myself as having watched Fuller House. I watched Full House as a kid so I was curious. Leave me alone!
I don’t know what universe Heartiste is living in, but it’s not related to the real world. Heartiste Potter and the Land of Cucks.
They break all that is good and holy.
On a trivial level, don’t mess with Harry Potter.
On a profound level, trying to convince all people that any finer feelings of friendship for a woman, or being decent to a child who is not your own is being suckered into ‘slavery’, is a special manifestation of an emotional void.
These guys are Dementors, sucking goodness out of everything they touch.
How on earth did he miss that Snape’s unhealthy obsession with Lily is really fucked up amd portrayed as “this is really unhealthy and basically ruins his life, yo.” It’s a weakness that is exploited. He looks after Harry because he’s Lily’s son, but Heartiste forgets that it’s also his job as a) a human being interacting with a child and b) a god damn teacher at the school that continuously endangers his life! I mean how could any reasonable person stand by while Dumbledore willfully molds Harry into a literal martyr starting at 11 years old and be like “eh, little fucker deserves it!”
Ah. These guys. I forgot.
I “like” how he’s careful to specify that the type of homosexuals he’s talking about are gay homosexuals. As opposed, I guess, to all those straight homosexuals out there.
The guy literally, demonstrably, does not even know what he’s talking about.
Just to make sure I understand: In this story of a happily married monogamous couple, some third party is a victim of cuckoldry, because the wife in the happily married monogamous couple… isn’t sleeping with him, or anyone other than her husband. Okay.
The worst kind of homosexual!
I’m so glad for my loving stepfather, who is 1000 times the human being Heartiste is.
Well, this dope certainly isn’t in Ravenclaw…
So like, the only thing I could think through this whole thing is… that’s not even what “cuckold” means. I know that the alt-right et al. have turned it into a pretty meaningless insult, but it appears as if Heartiste is trying to use its real meaning here, except has forgotten what that actually is. A dude marrying a single mom is not a cuckold. He is a stepdad. I’m pretty sure that’s been a fairly normal thing to happen for a very long time.
Also, what about, for instance, women who marry single dads? Judging from the “Evil Stepmother” trope I’m sure the answer still boils down to “women are bad!” but if the “alpha fux beta bux” paradigm was so strongly entrenched and desirable, and if all women are as cynical about relationships as TRP/PUA/MGTOW/etc say they are, why would a woman ever marry a dude who already has a kid? (hint: it’s because none of this nonsense even remotely resembles reality)
Missed this in my first post, my apologies. It really is amazing that Heartiste’s definition of an Alpha apparently includes James Potter, loving, loyal husband and caring father. Lily didn’t need those “beta bux” because she got knocked up by some sexy but fundamentally uncaring Manly Alpha Man with two girls on each arm; James wasn’t there for Harry growing up because he was also dead. Also, Harry never took any of Snape’s money. Oh God this is all just so ridiculous.
From personal experience I know all too well how hard it is for a single mother to “cuck” another man. Not exactly a line of suitors waiting at the front door.
If anyone says he’s Slytherin, we are no longer friends.
The stooges of the far right are Hufflepuffs who think they’re Slytherins.
@Flora:
Not to mention that his (grudging and resentful) devotion to protecting Harry is a desperately-embraced act of atonement. Because Snape was callous enough not to care if Voldemort took out Lily’s husband and son, and foolish enough to think Voldemort would actually spare Lily herself, he ended up with the love of his life dead, and it was all his own fault because of his deliberate collusion with her deadly enemy. His protection of Lily’s surviving child by his hated rival wasn’t any “misplaced sense of loyalty”: it was a lifelong expiation of his own bitterly regretted complicity in Voldemort’s murder of Lily.
Which, in fact, is the sort of behavior that traditional masculinity tends to valorize as honorable and brave, so you’d think self-identified “manly men” would admire it. But there’s no concept of honor or bravery in the worldview of guys like this: just endless resentful greed for the abundant sex and deference that they think they’re automatically owed from women and that women never give them because they’re such appalling pustulent assholes.
Don’t bring Hufflepuff into this either. Hufflepuff don’t deserve that shit.
They’re all muggles. Terrible muggles. Above Uncle Vernon is shittery. I won’t even take Umbridge comparisons. None of them get houses and if they’re on Pottermore, their accounts are revoked–in fact, time will be manipulated to make them never touch a Harry Potter book in their life.
Okay? Okay.
Well, he actually wasn’t. He was opposed to the idea but when Dumbledore told Snape, he wasn’t in the best of headspaces, you know, pretty much within the same week of Lily dying and crap I think? Dumbledore manipulated him emotionally, from what I remember.
Oh Snape, you fucking beta orbiter.
“It takes an entire village to raise a child”
I guess ancient wisdom (and reality) is full of cuck?
Can a women be a cuck? Because all those women who care for children who aren’t their own, like teachers for example, would be example of cuck following that logic. So would be all women who marry or hook up with men with children from a prior union.
Thay guy seems so affraid of not being preceived as viril and strong that he consider all form of tenderness and care as a weakness. That’s what’s so strange in my opinon about Heartiste and is ilk. They are fragile and sensitive people who try to delude themselves as strong.
Totally off topic, but I thought that troll who tried to neg us with bad spelling and grammar was a glossary troll that got lost in the site update. But no! I chanced upon him looking through an old post!
https://www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/2013/05/15/on-reddit-a-woman-explains-to-other-women-why-men-hate-them-spoiler-alert-its-because-women-suck/comment-page-10/#comment-290437
Sorry. Probably nobody cares, but I was excited. That was one of the better troll lulz we’ve had in my time here.
I have a bit of a hobby. I like to take simple questions that Trump has been asked, and transcribe the question and answer exactly as they were uttered. It’s pretty amazing. One example:
Q: Hello Mr. Trump. My question to you is this: Being a millennial, how can you better inspire my generation of young voters and gain our support?
A: well I think we’re gaining a lot of support we have very very young people the audiences the voters in fact one of the things came out with uh both New Hampshire I mean no matter where we go it seems we have a very young audience they wanna see strength they wanna see security they wanna have a job when they get out of college and one of the questions I get is the financing of college you know they’re borrowed up to their neck and they come out and they don’t have a job which is a big problem I thought that would be your question actually but the truth is they wanna see security for themselves and they want jobs when they get out of college or wherever they’re coming from including high school frankly because there’s some people they go to high school and they’re fine they wanna get a job and they can’t get a job because the jobs numbers are phony numbers they were put there to make politicians look good in particular presidents look good ’cause we probably have we probably have 25% unemployment and if we didn’t you wouldn’t have crowds like this coming in you wouldn’t have ten and twelve thousand people every time I speak we have a tremendous jobs problem we’re losing our jobs to other countries and what we’re gonna do is we’re gonna give you great security great safety we’re gonna do the whole thing with everything you want but we’re also gonna create jobs for this country and one of the things I think I’ll be best at I’ll be the greatest jobs producing president that god ever created I will
Heartiste has actual readers? Like people who read him and take his writings seriously? A group of people dedicated to figure out what the hell he is babbling on about?
That’s …. stunning.
@IP: Have you seen this video of the New Yorker’s Andrew Boynton copy-editing a Trump speech? It is the most soothing way to spend an hour.