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True nature of woman explained in 72-word Red Pill Reddit comment

After years of study, women have now been figured out
After years of study, women have now been figured out

“So what’s the deal with the ladies, I mean, what the hell,” Sigmund Freud once famously asked. (I’m paraphrasing.)

Well, let’s say 97 years after he asked that question we men have finally been provided an answer, in the form of a comment in the Ask The Red Pill subreddit.

The topic at hand is “branch swinging,” which is Red Pill lingo for the notion that women generally prefer better boyfriends or husbands to worse boyfriends or husbands, causing them to sometimes swing to a higher branch, as it were, like the evil sexy monkeys they are.

Let’s watch Red Pill veteran oldredder lay down the Truth About Ladies:

oldredder 9 points 2 days ago  Women prepare multiple men to have interest in them and choose the ones who have the most resources and/or the fittest genes, are most attractive. Then jump to each or several at a time at any time without warning.  Like how do you do when you know she wants to branch swing ?  ALWAYS.

Boom goes the dynamite. All your questions about women are now answered.

But to make sure you’ve got it, let me translate what Mr. oldredder is saying from Red Pillian into normal English:

Women are sometimes attracted to more than one dude at once, and so they’ll make sure to look all cute and stuff in the presence of these dudes so they can, you know, prepare these dudes to like them too. And if it turns out the coolest or best looking dude thinks she’s totally cute, SCORE! She grabs hold of his branch, as it were, and SWINGS herself up.

Oh, I forgot to mention the resources. Ladies are totally into guys with resources.  Like coal. Ladies love coal. Seriously, guys, you can’t go wrong with coal.

You should probably start carrying a big bag of coal with you wherever you go, preferably with the word “COAL” written on the outside to make sure the ladies know that your bag is full of coal and not something that ladies hate like, you know, worms, or the complete discography of the band Rush, or guys that get advice from Red Pill Redditors?

 

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Cthulhu's Intern
Cthulhu's Intern
4 years ago

My first thought upon reading this title was “Huh. Only 72 words? They’re getting better.”

M Alice Underland
M Alice Underland
4 years ago

I love Rush.

Grant
Grant
4 years ago

With all that talk about resources, I was wondering if they’re actually playing Settlers of Catan.

At least, that would make one word of that pile make sense.

Fishy Goat
Fishy Goat
4 years ago

@Cthulhu’s Intern ROFLMAO!!! 🙂

ThatBear
ThatBear
4 years ago

Hey man, there are plenty of ladies who really like Rush. Or, I mean, at least my wife.

Kat
Kat
4 years ago

@Karalora

I think it’s more that these guys don’t think women should have any criteria for mate selection, because the choice of who pairs up with whom should be entirely in the hands of men. Ideally misogynistic men such as them, because nothing pisses off MRAs more than seeing women happy. They think a man should be able to point at a single woman and say “You. You’re mine” and she should have no choice but to go along with it.

Yes!

And once he’s seized his victim, he should be able to grab as many other women as he wants and hold them captive too.

And none of those women had better complain. They’d better be compliant. And they’d better stay young and beautiful always. They’d better incite envy of him in any man who meets them, but neither the other guys nor the women should get any bright ideas about the women leaving him! Oh yes, and these women had better have loads of money that they give to him.

Anything short of that would kill his dream. Can’t have that!

Kat
Kat
4 years ago

@ej

Oh look, more hypocrisy from the Red Pill. Women are horrible for “branch swinging”, but men are totally alpha for “spinning plates.”

There’s no room in the manosphere for integrity.

Just like there’s no room for social justice.

magnesium
magnesium
4 years ago

Wait, so you’re saying that after you break up with a woman, she might move on and go on to date other men instead of shrivelling up and dying like she’s supposed to? How can this be?

amandajane5
amandajane5
4 years ago

It’s taken me a while to figure just why this one pissed me off so much, and then I got it. When my boyfriend and I broke up and I left him (because we’d just moved to CA together and I didn’t have a job yet, and I’d been living off of him and going home back east made the most sense) he was making more money than he ever had before. Working in software pays really well, and moving out to CA with his skills, well he was making a plenty. We were also fighting all the time. I left him because we were fighting all of the time. We adored each other, we’d been friends since college, we’d cheated on our HS ltrs with each other, he put me through grad school, where we each had our own place, but we slept together most nights, we fought *all* of the time once we moved in together. It was so unexpected, we were both floored by it. So I left, even though he made tons of money and I loved him. Married a guy who made less than I did (which, as it turns out, really pissed him off, and we’re divorced now, because he was bizarrely surprised that I didn’t turn into a little wifey-poo who made him dinner every night and thought that since I paid 75% of the bills he should make dinner sometimes.) Or maybe he should let me take him out to dinner, because I could afford it. But he got embarrassed when I was paying our check also. But he’s totally a single little stud grasshopper now. Hope he’s loving it! I still actually married the guy I traded down to, though. Didn’t marry the rich one. 😛

Bina
4 years ago

Wait, so you’re saying that after you break up with a woman, she might move on and go on to date other men instead of shrivelling up and dying like she’s supposed to? How can this be?

Yeah, like that PUA-ish ex-boyfriend of mine, who decided to ring me up again out of the blue, two years after ghosting on me. He was not happy to learn that I had moved on. I was too happy to care. Apparently, going from flower to flower is only for teh menz.

Kat
Kat
4 years ago

Yeah, like that PUA-ish ex-boyfriend of mine, who decided to ring me up again out of the blue, two years after ghosting on me. He was not happy to learn that I had moved on. I was too happy to care. Apparently, going from flower to flower is only for teh menz.

Ha, ha!

I just realized that I have a story that totally bears out what oldredder says.

Dated a guy. Moved in with said guy, who immediately turned on me, i.e., revealed his true nature.

Called domestic violence hotlines, who clued me into what was going on. Thanks, women and men who staff those hotlines!

Left.

Saw the same guy (and his teenage daughter) for the first time in six months at a peace rally(!). He said hello. Then he noticed that I was holding another guy’s hand.

It’s been years. I’m still with the other guy, the actually nice guy who always keeps a good supply of coal in the cupboard.

Yes, RedPillers, I am heartless and fickle. Such is the nature of woman.

Saphira
Saphira
4 years ago

Someone else in that thread points out that men branch swing, too. Oldredder replies with:

I’d think men can be smarter about picking and more efficient; and we don’t need to pick just ONE, don’t forget that. Can have several on the go at a time. No branch-jumping required, we can hold many branches at the same time.

How is it that their heads just don’t explode from the hypocrisy?

Olive O'Sudden
Olive O'Sudden
4 years ago

I’m confused. Which is the man-metaphor du jour? Are men a ‘cock carousel’ that women ride or are they the branches of a tree that monkey-ladies swing from?

lkeke35
lkeke35
4 years ago

Olive: Let’s try both.
Is it the monkey carousel, on which women jump from ride to ride, while the branches of the carousel swing around in a circle?

Or perhaps the cock-tree, that’s swinging the women around in a slow circle while they leap from cock to cock?

Sounds dizzying either way.
No wonder their reasoning is incoherent.

Jamesworkshop
Jamesworkshop
4 years ago

I’d think men can be smarter about picking and more efficient; and we don’t need to pick just ONE, don’t forget that. Can have several on the go at a time. No branch-jumping required, we can hold many branches at the same time.

comment image

Us men have multiple arms which we can use to hold these multiple branches.

Kat
Kat
4 years ago

I’d think men can be smarter about picking and more efficient; and we don’t need to pick just ONE, don’t forget that. Can have several on the go at a time. No branch-jumping required, we can hold many branches at the same time.

Oldredder decoded:

Bold = We’re better.
Italics = Different rules apply to us.

In summary, different rules apply to men because they’re better than women.

Why can’t women understand this?!

EJ (The Other One)
4 years ago

@James:
Ah, of course. I had forgotten that I have those four extra limbs which I can use for climbing.

And my spinnerets, of course.

Wait. I’m thinking of spiders rather than men, aren’t I?

Tessa
Tessa
4 years ago

I’d think men can be smarter about picking and more efficient; and we don’t need to pick just ONE, don’t forget that. Can have several on the go at a time. No branch-jumping required, we can hold many branches at the same time.

Compare that with the original:

Women prepare multiple men to have interest in them and choose the ones who have the most resources and/or the fittest genes, are most attractive. Then jump to each or several at a time at any time without warning.

Like how do you do when you know she wants to branch swing ?

ALWAYS.

OK
“Can have several on the go at a time. No branch-jumping required, we can hold many branches at the same time.”

“Then jump to each or several at a time at any time without warning.”

So women can also hold many branches at the same time? So how are these two different? I’m beginning to question how much oldredder has thought this through (as well as his grasp (heh) on human anatomy). I may just have to unsubscribe from his newsletter.

Social Justice Atheist
Social Justice Atheist
4 years ago

@Tessa

I don’t think they think their horrible analogies through at all. Explains why they’re always so laughable.

Kat
Kat
4 years ago

@Tessa
Ooh, excellent catch!

Kootiepatra
4 years ago

As a feeeeemale, I always keep an eye on the resources of the men near me, so I know when to play a monopoly card against them. >:)

(Couldn’t pass up the Catan bandwagon)

Carr
Carr
4 years ago

After reading some of the comments about past relationships, I’m starting to think that it’s not only complete assholes like oldredder. Even guys who aren’t abusive or nasty people sometimes have this entitled attitude.
An ex of mine was really great for the first month and a half of the relationship. Then he stopped paying any attention to me, the whole thing was pretty much a friends with benefits situation, nothing more, though he claimed we were actually in a relationship. We broke up, because I told him he was being a jerk, he got angry and broke up with me. A couple months later, I was dating someone new and when he found out he looked like someone had kicked him.
Even if it doesn’t manifest itself in the aggressive way of ”women are sluts”, it’s still weird how this guy could act hurt that I was dating someone new. You broke up with me, you didn’t care much about what I was doing when we were together, but somehow I was the mean person in the situation?

Sorry, needed to vent, 6 day work week….

Kularanini
Kularanini
4 years ago

It’s true. All women have the innate ability to scan our genetic code and are ready to move on when they find a genetically superior specimen.

I remember the day I met my wife. The first thing she did was stare through me for 3 minutes, then said, “You’ll do. For now.”

Dr. NicolaLuna
Dr. NicolaLuna
4 years ago

I thought I was going to find an ideal selection of branches at the HR department at work. Sadly I’d misunderstood the term “human resources” because my feeble ladybrain let me down again.

Tragedy of the Commas
Tragedy of the Commas
4 years ago

@ Carr

It’s a fair point. A man doesn’t need to be an MRA to be a guy who reproduces attitudes of entitlement and, well, something that appears like a sense of ownership (based on what you describe). Those attitudes are prevalent throughout society, MRAs turn it into a particularly nasty ideology and identity.

I remember a discussion thread I read on an official game developer’s forum. On the one hand, the posters in that thread were against goobergoblins. They thought of them as idiotic and their rants a waste of space. On the other hand, they clamored in support of a user who said that PC culture was ruining video games and, as proof, said that BioWare deliberately made their heterosexual romance options ugly in Dragon Age Inquisition in order to appeal to SJWs. So, anti-gg but still reproducing similar arguments. Also, gaming culture, y’all!

Florkje
Florkje
4 years ago

Guys should have their paycheck printed on their T-shirts. Or a pic of their house in Monaco. Or their car. Then the ladies would know that they have bought the redpillar BS, and we would be able to run as far away from them as we could…

Anne, Michael Mc Intyre has thought of you 🙂

Florkje
Florkje
4 years ago

@ kularanini: I remember the day I met my wife. The first thing she did was stare through me for 3 minutes, then said, “You’ll do. For now.”

HAHAHAHAHAHA genuine LOL. Thanks 🙂

Clo
Clo
4 years ago

The whole movement is just dripping with misogyny, yet when they are called out on it, they either 1) call the poster a feminist/white knight/ mangina or 2) claim they don’t hate women, they just want them to change to their needs/ wants. There’s no use trying to get through with them on why their views of how women are evil, evil bitches.

Those who are in a relationship, play the “dread game” where if the woman doesn’t behave how the guy wants, he would leave her for someone else who will. I read one commenter who said his wife argued with him over something. So what he did was basically use her during sex to get off then end it as soon as he was done. And he kept it up till she apologized to him for her behaviour.
Jackasses, all of them.

katz
4 years ago

Is it the monkey carousel, on which women jump from ride to ride, while the branches of the carousel swing around in a circle?

Or perhaps the cock-tree, that’s swinging the women around in a slow circle while they leap from cock to cock?

Sounds dizzying either way.
No wonder their reasoning is incoherent.

If it’s anything like the carousel scene from Contrast, women deserve a little credit.

Leda Atomica
Leda Atomica
4 years ago

Thanks all for helping me compile a list of resources for Mr. Atomica to get ASAP. I don’t want to appear unwomanly, hanging around a guy with no holmium.

Captain Bathrobe
Captain Bathrobe
4 years ago

To be fair, coal is an important resource in Civilization. Can’t build factories without coal.

Saphira
Saphira
4 years ago

Even guys who aren’t abusive or nasty people sometimes have this entitled attitude.

Tell me about it. I’m on another site where a guy made a thread complaining about he talks to women online for about a week then they just stop responding to him. He feels they’re just leading him on.

A bunch of people responded telling him that a week is a get-to-know-you period, stringing him along would happen over more time than that. A few women have chimed in saying they’d rather just cut off contact than say, “I just don’t think we’re compatible” because a lot of times the man becomes angry then harasses or sends her abusive messages. It’s easier just to cut it off than risk that.

Does that sink in with this guy? Of course not. He’s so steeped in the privileged culture he’s grown up in he expects women know he’s not going to respond angrily to them. It also appears to be very black or white with him. Either you want a relationship with him or you don’t and you must know that right off the bat. There’s no getting-to-know-you period. No finding out if you’re actually compatible. He expects that if he likes some woman, she should just automatically like him back and immediately want to jump into the dating pool with him.

He’s not coming across as some kind of MRA or PUA in his replies, but he is coming across as someone who’s been told all his life that because he’s a heterosexual cis male that he deserves the girlfriend of his choice and just can’t understand why the women he likes don’t always like him back. It’s quite the thing to watch.

tricyclist
tricyclist
4 years ago

Even guys who aren’t abusive or nasty people sometimes have this entitled attitude.

I find myself quite embarrassed at some of the attitudes I had as a young (early 20’s… all twenties? Early thirties?) man.

Not abusive (I hope)… but… entitled.

RianbowCJ
RianbowCJ
4 years ago

I’m a late-game player in Civ 5, so a resource I’d like is Uranium.

Aluminum if there’s no Uranium, but really, momma needs her nuclear plant and world-domination victory

*cackles viciously*

msexceptiontotherule
msexceptiontotherule
4 years ago

@Ej

Is the green color a little like…teal? If so, I’ve had that happen to my hair before. 😛

Skiriki
Skiriki
4 years ago

Honey, now that’s an important resource if you want to misander for realsies in Settlers III – Quest of the Amazons add-on. Because then you turn all that sweet honey into mead, and sacrifice that steadily to the amazon goddess, get blessed amazon priestesses, and then go misandering everyone under your warboots’ steely heels.
Like this.

comment image

Or load up your war machine with it and subjugate the dudebros.

Wazza
Wazza
4 years ago

or the complete discography of the band Rush

Thems fightin’ words

maghavan
maghavan
4 years ago

women generally prefer better boyfriends or husbands to worse boyfriends or husbands

The horror. The horror.

bluecat
bluecat
4 years ago

All women have the innate ability to scan our genetic code and are ready to move on when they find a genetically superior specimen.

I actually saw a film some years ago where an evil alien disguised as a pretty girl went around trying to sperm-jack guys for nefarious purposes involving spawning lots more evil aliens.

One guy got killed because she did a DNA scan on him and discovered he was genetically sub-optimal.

Now, it was pretty clear that she was really an evil alien, but the point was, she looked just like the Hollywood version of a human female, so it’s understandable if these dudes can’t tell whether actual women might be planning the exact same thing.

After all, don’t we all sprout leathery wings and poisonous spinal points during sex?

Skiriki
Skiriki
4 years ago

bluecat: That sounds like Species.

Kularanini
Kularanini
4 years ago

bluecat: That sounds like Species.

In Redpill land, a documentary.

Orion
Orion
4 years ago

@David, ImaginaryPetal, WWTH,

The topic at hand is “branch swinging,” which is Red Pill lingo for the notion that women generally prefer better boyfriends or husbands to worse boyfriends or husbands,

What’s the difference between branch swinging and hypergamy? Why invent more terminology. . . [?]

Sometimes. . . the relationship ends. Both parties typically move on and eventually find someone else to date. It’s really not that big of a deal. It doesn’t need a special term.

“Branch Swinging” actually does mean something fairly specific, and it’s a real thing, though of course not a female thing. The idea is that if each branch is a relationship, you’re swinging from one relationship into another without touching the Forest Floor of Singleness in between. I’ve known both men and women to string along partners they were actively trying to replace. (Also men and women in bad relationships who needed to meet someone better to be motivated to get out)

Skiriki
Skiriki
4 years ago

Kularanini:

In Redpill land, a documentary.

The entire movie is “whooboy, somebody sure has issues“. It is like male insecurities at full display; it is not subtext, it is text.

Inkswitch
Inkswitch
4 years ago

Oh, I forgot to mention the resources. Ladies are totally into guys with resources.

“Is that a stick of uranium in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”

Inkswitch
Inkswitch
4 years ago

Are men a ‘cock carousel’ that women ride or are they the branches of a tree that monkey-ladies swing from?

Probably the carousel because I doubt any of their branches are big enough to get a decent enough grip on

occasional reader
occasional reader
4 years ago

Hello.

Woohoo, 72 words ? Such culture, such literature ! Well, i guess it is a change for the 1 or 2 words usual description (like the one beginning by c and finishing by t) they associate to women.

If i understand well, what they want is not women but sloths, who are not often go from a branch to another…

Have a nice day.

sparkalipoo
sparkalipoo
4 years ago

@Carr

I’m noticing the exact same thing–the guy who you date briefly, move on from, and then returns sometime later wondering why you are no longer available is way to common.

I’m currently dealing with this guy who I went out with once or twice a year and half ago before realizing that we wanted completely different things and has decided to give things a shot again even though I have a boyfriend now and doesn’t understand that “I am in a committed monogamous relationship” means that I am not going to have sex with him and when I complained about it to my friends they all have similar experience

@Saphire

I am so tired of having to listen to guys complain about how the girl they like doesn’t want to date them, especially when they realize that women have that happen to them to

Boooooio
Boooooio
4 years ago

To the man who married the woman who was looked at said, “You’ll do. For now.”, you are a complete tool.