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This is what Men’s Rights activists would be doing, if they were goats

Top of the world to you too, goat.
Top of the world to you too, goat.

Last night, a helpful Twitterer pointed me to a news story from a couple of years back about a rather obstreperous goat who climbed onto a roof and wouldn’t get down — a bit like those Fathers 4 Justice protesters who like to dress up like superheroes and climb up buildings and bridges and even, last November, Buckingham Palace.

The goat’s aspirations were a tad more modest; he just climbed atop a one-story house. As the Mirror reported:

A routine patrol took an unexpected turn for police in Gresham, Oregon, when they spotted a goat stuck on a roof.

With the officers experienced in dealing with cut-throat criminals on a daily basis, they would have been expected to make light work of dealing with the runaway animal.

However, they were warned not to get any closer to the goat with anger issues as they attempted a rooftop rescue.

‘The goat will charge you,’ one neighbour told the officers during the incident last week.

Yep. Sounds a lot like an MRA.

Another told the perplexed Gresham police team that the ‘goat only respects one man’ and warned them to stay away.

Reports that the goat set the house on fire and then yelled out “made it, ma! Top of fhe world!” turned out to be something that I made up just now.

The goat was eventually rescued when the aforementioned respected owner came home and safely removed him from the roof.

If only MRAs could be dealt with so easily.

Unlike MRAs, though, goats are kind of awesome. To make up for comparing them to MRAs, here are a couple of videos of goats being goaty.

First, baby goats climbing a tree!

And another goat that got itself into trouble with the law.

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msexceptiontotherule
msexceptiontotherule
4 years ago

Goats are infinitely better than MRAs and MGTOWs. They’re a lot more agreeable (under most circumstances, can’t say that one on the roof was particularly agreeable towards anyone but the respected owner-person.) just make sure to avoid wearing clothes with buttons.

Goats have a tendency to eat buttons. And anything else they happen upon that looks kinda edible or like it *might* be food. Or shiny.

The best kind are the ones that ‘faint’*.

*They don’t technically faint, it’s a genetic neuromuscular disorder in goats who are myotonic, causing their muscles to freeze up for 10-20 seconds when they experience feelings of panic. This ‘freezing up’ makes the goats fall over with all four legs extended out stiffly until the muscles relax and the goat can get up and go on its goat-way.

kupo
kupo
4 years ago

@msexceptiontotherule
From what my ex-brother-in-law tells me (he owns goats), they’ll eat everything except for Purina Goat Chow.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago

Notwithstanding the fact that goats will turn any environment into an environ meme fit only for goats and will eat your tent,they are cool.

Can someone more techno literate post the video of the goats on sheet metal, it’s hypnotic.

dhag85
dhag85
4 years ago

I fully love and support all things goat.

guy
guy
4 years ago

comment image

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago

@ dhag

“I like the way Snrub thinks!”

Luzbelitx
4 years ago

I once went camping to Santiago del Estero, one of the hottest provinces, were the smallest insect is the size of my fist!

But I had the chance to hang out with a neighbour’s goat herd, which was awesome. I remember one that was probably a baby, coming up to me and offering their head like cats sometimes do to be petted.

Then I petted them, but they started pushing my hand, like goats do with other goats’ heads. I spent all that afternoon playing with Tiny Goat 😊

Anyone thinks MRAs would be less unpleasing if they had fur?

Me neither.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago

I think I’ve mentioned before about how a goat at the city farm used me as a (literal) springboard in an escape attempt.

And how, somehow, it was my fault apparently.

mildlymagnificent
mildlymagnificent
4 years ago

Is this the one you were thinking of Alan.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago

@ mildlymagnificent

Indeed it is; thank you!

I know what I’ll be watching for the next hour or so.

Bonelady
Bonelady
4 years ago

I can milk a goat. My sister raised them in 4H. Just sayin…

Dreadnought
Dreadnought
4 years ago

I wish I was a goat, then I could run wild in endless rolling hills, bleat to my hearts content, and never have the misfortune of making conversation with a MRA. *sigh* Maybe next year Santa will make my wish come true.

Paradoxical Intention
4 years ago

I wish I was a goat so I could scream and people would think it’s cute instead of “inappropriate” and kick me out of the library.

Briar
Briar
4 years ago

Those babies are climbing a mesquite tree in the first video. Bet that’s Texas. 🙂

My family raised orphaned baby goats when I was a kid. They were adorable, and a huge pain in the ass. We completely loved them.

Dreadnought
Dreadnought
4 years ago

Have you been screaming in libraries again?

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago

Next time you’re in the library ask the librarian if they have a copy of “How to accept disappointment without killing”

Bina
4 years ago

I’ve always been impressed by goats’ capacity for play. And for their ability to climb things that no human foot to get a purchase on. Sometimes I’m even impressed by their capacity to eat just about anything, short of actual rocks.

But MRAs, migtoes, and other manospheric morons? Well, the only thing about them that impresses me is their endless capacity for sexism. And teh stooooooopid. And not nearly in as pleasant a way as goats.

Gooooooats.

ETA: Heh, someone else posted another version of the same video. Fistbump!

Leda Atomica
Leda Atomica
4 years ago

I love this video, but severely dislike the title.

Luzbelitx
4 years ago

Reposting baby goats in pajamas:

And firstposting baby goat:

Ledasmom
Ledasmom
4 years ago

When I read the roof-goat article, there was linked at the bottom a story about a man who spent five years trying to get a penis drawing recognized as his signature. This seems like something that MRAs and suchlike might be redirected into that would be more productive than their current activities.

Paradoxical Intention
4 years ago

So, Milo’s (and by extension, his fanbase) still throwing a hissy fit over having his verified status on Twitter taken away from him.

And apparently Roosh is also (tentatively) supporting him as well. As long as Roosh can have his butt to a wall, because he doesn’t want Milo coming on to him, apparently.

https://twitter.com/chiller/status/685803753967095808

I’m having quite a laugh at “I wouldn’t go on to private property with him” line. Looks like Roosh is still a fan of that “rape on private property” thing. So much for satire, huh?

I don’t understand what it is with straight dudes and thinking every gay man wants their butt, especially the super homophobic ones. Don’t fuckin’ flatter yourselves. Gay peeps want nothing to do with you, let alone get close enough to you to have sex with you.

Yes, Milo’s a self-hating gay man, but I would dare say that he has standards. Standards that include not sticking his giblets anywhere near your unwiped and unwashed butthole. (Sorry for the imagery, but I’m dying of laughter over here.)

Bananananana dakry
Bananananana dakry
4 years ago

*watches all the goats on the metal*
I think brown goat is going “I stayed up there longer. Totally more points than you.”

Bina
4 years ago

I’m having quite a laugh at “I wouldn’t go on to private property with him” line. Looks like Roosh is still a fan of that “rape on private property” thing. So much for satire, huh?

Heh. Good ol’ Roosh…proving, once again, the axiom that homophobia is nothing more than straight men fearing that gay men will treat them the way they themselves treat women. Does Milo have to say “no homo, bro” before hugging him, I wonder?

kupo
kupo
4 years ago

When I read the roof-goat article, there was linked at the bottom a story about a man who spent five years trying to get a penis drawing recognized as his signature. This seems like something that MRAs and suchlike might be redirected into that would be more productive than their current activities.

Looks like my ex found a new hobby. Good for him.

@PI
I’m still too angry over the #JeSuisMilo thing to even word properly. FFS.

(Autocorrect changed that to #Jesus Milo. Add a comma in there and I wholeheartedly agree.)

AsAboveSoBelow
AsAboveSoBelow
4 years ago

The “Crazy Baby Goat” is Buttermilk Sky of Took A Leap Farm in Maine. She had three babies of her own last year. Goats are wonderful.

Snow Leopard
Snow Leopard
4 years ago

I love goats! They’re such amazing animals. MRAs and the manosphere as a whole, not so much. Goats beat them by light years in everything.

epitome of incomprehensibility

The title of this made my day. Also, adorable baby goats! 🙂

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
4 years ago

@Paradoxy:

I don’t understand what it is with straight dudes and thinking every gay man wants their butt, especially the super homophobic ones. Don’t fuckin’ flatter yourselves. Gay peeps want nothing to do with you, let alone get close enough to you to have sex with you.

Oh god yes, this. I think it’s because they look at women rapily, and so imagine that gay men are equally rapey towards men. I suspect that a significant chunk of homophobia exists because of that.

msexceptiontotherule
msexceptiontotherule
4 years ago

*Would totally run after goats trying to scare them so they ‘faint’….*

*Have actually done this. More than once.*

I go to seasonal petting zoos and sometimes the ones at county fairs here in SoCal, with ALL the quarters to empty the feed machines and for a few minutes I am “Queen of the herd”…then the food runs out and they all start trying to eat my clothing. I should call my mom and tell her I’m going to quit being a lawyer so I can move out to the country and raise a herd of goats instead. Last time I told her I was going to be an underwater welder, before that I was going to join the circus. Until she puts my dad on the phone it’s all in good fun. 😉

Bananananana dakry
Bananananana dakry
4 years ago

@EJ

The projection in them is as strong as the self-awareness is weak.

RosaDeLava
RosaDeLava
4 years ago

@Luxbelitx
Is having goats an acceptable life goal? Because I really hope so.

Miss Andry
4 years ago

This just in: Paul Elam v. Roosh V. Takin’ all bets.

Linax5
Linax5
4 years ago

What do you guys think about Stefan Molyneux? I just saw a video about casual sex, men and women. Puuhhh this was horrible. Surprisingly it got many tumbs down.

Is this dude a mra? Some of his videos were cool and informative, but puuhh he hates single moms so damn much, its scary.

authorialAlchemy
authorialAlchemy
4 years ago

I misread the title as “This is what Men’s Rights activists would be doing, if they HAD GOALS.”

I expected something insightful, but I can’t say I’m dissapointed.

mildlymagnificent
mildlymagnificent
4 years ago

Stefan Molyneux?

Absolutely horrible man.

The profile that comes up in the R column of the search page claims that he’s “influenced by”:
Ayn Rand, Murray Rothbard, Friedrich Nietzsche, Socrates, Sigmund Freud, Nathaniel Branden

Not auspicious. David wrote about him.
https://wehuntedthemammoth.com/2014/07/07/mra-philosopher-stefan-molyneux-if-you-dont-have-a-husband-to-keep-the-child-is-abusive/

Here’s another couple of items from FtB where he ‘features’.
http://freethoughtblogs.com/pharyngula/2014/06/27/molyneux-makes-no-sense/
http://freethoughtblogs.com/pharyngula/2014/11/05/two-white-dudes-spend-an-hour-talking-about-how-racist-and-sexist-it-is-to-criticize-other-white-dudes/

Paradoxical Intention
4 years ago

Miss Andry | January 10, 2016 at 7:45 pm
This just in: Paul Elam v. Roosh V. Takin’ all bets.

Wasn’t Elam just kissing Roosh’s (unwashed) ass just a few months ago and saying he was a pretty good guy and all that?

mildlymagnificent
mildlymagnificent
4 years ago

OK. It’s not goats, but it’s good brain bleach. First Dog on the Moon ‘moonsplains’ sexism.

I suspect the “Croquembouche of Patriarchy” may live on long after FDOTM is forgotten.

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/picture/2016/jan/11/is-it-sexist-against-men-first-dog-moonsplains-sexism-again#comment-66527616

Arctic Ape
Arctic Ape
4 years ago

Elam may have had some antifeminist solidarity towards Roosh but it’s all gone by now. Very understandable, because

1) Roosh has been constantly ramping up his assholery, especially his racism and homophobia.

2) Roosh is now more famous than Elam, and never gave him respect back.

3) The MRM as a movement has been overshadowed by pick-up assholery, largely thanks to Roosh, while the mainstream media, predictably failing to make any fine distinctions, now uses the term MRA for any misogynist asshole.

gondwanarama
4 years ago

@mildlymagnificent,
I read that this morning, First Dog is fantastic.

The Kangaroo
The Kangaroo
4 years ago

It’s kind of an insult to goats to compare them to MRAs, dontcha think? The goat is however a good symbol of male ridiculousness and a symbol of virility, which led to the image of Baphomet, a goat-headed man with female breasts who became a symbol of ancient Caanan-based fertility cults.

bandit, Albuquerque
bandit, Albuquerque
4 years ago

Male goats, when they want the lady goats, piss on their own heads and charge the ladies. And make loud, obnoxious noises.

Wait – from the descriptions, the MRA’s are male goats….