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MGTOW Redditor warns unwary men of the dangers of sexy lady robot … SPIES!

Fembots: As dangerous as they are seductive
Fembots: As dangerous as they are seductive

So the fellas in the MGTOW subreddit are as excited as our old friend Heartiste about that Daily Mirror article predicting that we’ll all be schtupping robots in 50 years.

bidi123 28 points 1 day ago  It gets you off better than any woman ever could, as often as you want, and you don't have to do anything in return. Everything no woman ever did. Does not get old, does not get fat, does not want children... What's not to like? permalinkembedsavereportgive goldreply [–]TX_Man_ 19 points 23 hours ago  Not to mention no divorce and no false rape accusations permalinkembedsaveparentreportgive goldreply [–]bidi123 13 points 23 hours ago  and the most important bit: no condoms and std's

But one Redditor thinks he sees a possible danger in this seemingly perfect solution to every MGTOW’s lady problems: the sexy robot ladies could be … spies for Microsoft!

pirate6728 2 points 17 hours ago  Y'all are not gonna like me much. Under the immediate circumstances, I don't care. This still needs to be thought about and maybe discussed. A sexbot is the perfect vehicle for spyware. Think about it: Most men say things to their lovers (pillow talk) that they would never say to anybody else. If Microsoft, Google, Facebook and the Federal Government all want to learn your deepest, darkest secrets it would be hard to come up with a better way than a robot woman capable of real sex. We already have spyware of various sorts as it is. Google does all it can to learn everything. Microsoft just released Windows 10, and as part of that package you can turn on "Cortana" which does nothing but spy on you so it can--supposedly-- learn how to make your computing experience "better", and of course it's not hard to go on and on about the various ways the powers-that-be spy on us now. So-- give us a robot woman, programmed to learn about us so it "can make you more pleased with your experience"--- and you have spyware that would make Sean Connery drool when he played 007. Something to think about.

FADE IN

INT. MGTOW’S BEDROOM – NIGHT – 50 YEARS IN THE FUTURE

MGTOW and SEXBOT lie in futuristic bed after sex.

Sexbot turns to MGTOW and gives him a quizzical look.

 

SEXBOT

What are you thinking about, honey?

MGTOW

How women are filthy whores.

SEXBOT

Oh.

 

Silence.

 

SEXBOT

[Brightly] Let’s play a game!

MGTOW

What kind of game?

SEXBOT

Let’s play “can we remember our social security number.”

MGTOW

Ok, you start!

SEXBOT

I’m a sexbot, silly, I don’t have a social security number.

MGTOW

Ok, ok, 597-21 … wait a minute!

 

MGTOW leaps from the bed and points his finger at Sexbot, shaking with anger.

 

MGTOW

You’re a SPY! Just like that guy on Reddit warned me about!

SEXBOT

I’m not a spy, silly! I’m a sexbot!

MGTOW

Who are you working for? Microsoft? Google? SarkeesianCorp?

 

The END TABLE lets out a long sigh.

 

END TABLE

Dude, she works for SarkeesianCorp. I work for SarkesianCorp. You work for SarkeesianCorp.

MGTOW

Oh. I guess I do, huh?

END TABLE

No one’s even used Social Security numbers for like 20 years.

WALL SCONCE

She just wanted to play a fun game, you dingus.

MGTOW

[Turning to Wall Sconce] Do you work for SarkeesianCorp, too?

WALL SCONCE

Seriously? What do you think?

MGTOW

[Muttering to himself] Seems like everyone works for SarkeesianCorp these days.

CUT TO:

This popcorn is delicious indeed.

FADE OUT

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Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

@Paradoxy

Ah, this isn’t even to get an animal mascot; it’s to design an abstract logo! That’s not the weirdest question by a long chalk though. [“What would your company smell of?”].

These people charge thousands!!!!!

Paradoxical Intention
5 years ago

@Alan:

*Shrugs* I don’t make the rules for graphic design, I only live by them.

(And they have student loans/bills to pay/families to feed, be nice.)

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

@ Paradoxy

I don’t make the rules for graphic design, I only live by them.

Ha, say that in a suitable heroic voice and it sounds like a line from a really avant garde action movie.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

Argh, curse you BQ mammoth. Accept these bon bons in sacrifice.

GrumpyOldSocialJusticeMangina

What these guys really want is a woman who will pretend to be a sexbot. After all, women are better than sexbots because they are are self-cleaning, amirite?

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

They want women to feel threatened by sexbots. Yet, in the end, it is THEY who feel threatened.

They’re just so precious!

sunnysombrera
5 years ago

I thought the sexbots wouldn’t need to be connected to the Internet but would instead come pre programmed with sex moves and an ability to learn. Why would they be linked up to a mainframe if the MRAs are so worried about spy ware?

Mind you I would totally hope they ARE online 24/7. The potential for creating viruses that would mess with their systems is huge. If and when these bots become a thing, I want there to be an epidemic of chlamydia.exe. Mwahaha!

tinyorc
5 years ago

blue collar nerd:

Can I just say that in the Rick and Morty sexbot/spermjacking episode how great it is that Morty immediately recognized that his offspring was his responsibility? He made mistakes but he adulted the fuck up instantly.

I obviously need to start watching this show, since I apparently managed to subconsciously channel one of the episodes!

Paradoxical Intention
5 years ago

Alan Robertshaw | August 6, 2015 at 3:21 pm
Ha, say that in a suitable heroic voice and it sounds like a line from a really avant garde action movie.

There’s a saying in the design field I’m rather fond of:

“Design won’t save the world, but it damn sure makes it look good.”

StarStorm
5 years ago

I read that and my first reaction was… wait, are they planning on talking to their sexbots?

Now, I apologize as this is TMI, but I’ve never owned a sex toy in my life, so I’m a little inexperienced on the protocols here, but uh… is it normal to talk to your sex toys?

Because I’m pretty sure it’s not.

epitome of incomprehensibility

That was really funny. I liked the twist with the end table. (That sentence sounded weird – like, is the table doing a dance?)

Tangentially, I wrote down a dream a few months ago in which I was having a debate about machine self-awareness. With Anita Sarkeesian. It involved a guitar… http://blather.newdream.net/red/a/anita_sarkeesian.html

Olive O'Sudden
Olive O'Sudden
5 years ago

Why would a man engage in pillow talk with a sexbot? Do these men currently whisper sweet nothings into their Fleshlights after they’ve ejaculated inside them?

epitome of incomprehensibility

@StarStorm – Probably not with things like dildos. But then again they don’t look like whole people.

Before Real Dolls (and that TLC show episode of a man who treated one like a real person), there was the story “Smile” by J. G. Ballard. Only in this case it’s not a sex doll, just a life-size doll, but a man falls in love with her and gets jealous of a hairdresser who does her hair… The narrator isn’t very likeable and it’s a mix of surreal-funny and surreal-creepy. (I find life-size dolls to be somewhat creepy in general. Robots… I dunno.)

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

I’ll stick in my usual reference to Asimov’s “Robots of Dawn” here.

anonymous
anonymous
5 years ago

“In any case, if the plan is to obtain sperm via sexbot-secret-agents, I’d hope that they would at least select a better breeding stock to obtain the sperm from.”

I love how dangerously close this clueless shitlib comes to taking an awkward tumble down the kind of slippery slope that would violate the rest of her delusional, shitlib worldview.

Who knows, there may actually be hope for some of you yet 😀

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

is it normal to talk to your sex toys?

Not that I’m aware of. To my knowledge, NOT having to talk to them is the whole idea.

Tessa
5 years ago

anonymous:

I love how dangerously close this clueless shitlib comes to taking an awkward tumble down the kind of slippery slope that would violate the rest of her delusional, shitlib worldview.

Don’t beat around the bush, oh please please elaborate.

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

Is anonymous that guy who wandered over here from Heartiste’s site on the Donald Trump thread about the rape allegation? Shitlib seems to be the insult of choice over there.

I don’t know why. It’s not a good insult.

Chaos-Engineer
Chaos-Engineer
5 years ago

I love how dangerously close this clueless shitlib comes to taking an awkward tumble down the kind of slippery slope that would violate the rest of her delusional, shitlib worldview.

I’m pretty sure the comment you’re replying to was just snark. No sensible person literally believes that there’s a gene that’s responsible for people being horrible bigoted losers. (Most bigots are victims of poor parenting, and most of the rest fell in with a bad set of peers. A handful of people become horrible bigoted losers for more obscure reasons. Anyway, the point is that it’s society’s fault, so it’s society’s responsibility to try to fix them.)

By the way, did you ever notice that genetic determinists always divide people into groups like the “white race” and the “non-white race”? It would make more sense for them to divide people into groups like the “loser race” and the “non-loser race”. The reason genetic determinists don’t do that is because deep down they know which race they’d be classified into.

Carayak
Carayak
5 years ago

The Slippery Slope Fallacy is the one where one belief or action inevitably leads to exaggerated progress down the same course, becoming increasingly dire. By using “slippery slope” to describe a perceived (not sincere) belief in genetic determinism leading to an all-out rejection of liberal ideals of equality and fair treatment, anonymous is using the term in a perfectly correct manner, albeit in a way that is the direct opposite of what he actually thought he was saying.

Catalpa
Catalpa
5 years ago

I remember a few years ago, Apple patented a few designs to make you interact with your fucking ad for a few seconds before it would return you to your app. Like make you run a short maze with your finger before letting you go. I don’t think it ever got implemented.

Do you get where I’m going?

I’m not entirely sure I’m going down the same lane you’re thinking of, but I can imagine having some of those interactive ads requiring the user to stimulate the sexbot’s clitoris-part. And then the MRAs losing their shit over “GOVERNMENT MANDATED FOREPLAY” (nevermind that corporations aren’t governmental bodies), and how sexbots have been ruined forever now.

Also, Tessa, your hypothetical Nissan commercial made me snort in a most unladylike manner.

anonymous
anonymous
5 years ago

“Don’t beat around the bush, oh please please elaborate.”

If you have to ask, you’re probably too dumb to understand the elaboration.

“Is anonymous that guy who wandered over here from Heartiste’s site on the Donald Trump thread about the rape allegation?”

No.

“I’m pretty sure the comment you’re replying to was just snark.”
“By using “slippery slope” to describe a perceived (not sincere) belief in genetic determinism”

Who knew that the sort of people who start frothing at the mouth at the mere mention of the word “crazy” could be so charitable? Good for you.

Pithy Pseudonym
5 years ago

I believe Shitlib has already successfully completed its first round of funding for.$10M. Shitlib: it’s the Über for poop!

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

Seriously. Can somebody explain the insult “shitlib”

It’s not a clever play on words and it doesn’t rhyme. It’s not clear how shit and lib are related. It’s an even less clever insult than “libtard” and that’s really saying something.

Conservatives just aren’t funny, are they?

Catalpa
Catalpa
5 years ago

Until WWTH made the connection of liberal to shitlib, I parsed that word as being some kind of corruption of Mad Libs. Maybe Shit Lib would be like Mad Libs except every blank you fill in has to be an expletive or somehow toilet related.

That might actually be good for a laugh or two, but I bet it would get old fast.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

I’m pretty sure anonymous is the same person because they have the same icon and shit.

anonymous
anonymous
5 years ago

“Conservatives just aren’t funny, are they?”

…says the humorless nag holding show trials about words.

Actually, you weirdos are pretty funny.

“albeit in a way that is the direct opposite of what he actually thought he was saying.”

I could have used “down the path of enlightenment” in lieu of the (deliberately and obviously tongue-in-cheek) “slippery slope” and saved myself the effort of addressing this kind of typically spergy, dumb-as-shit response, but what fun would that be?

Hope that helps, though I can feel the next obtuse reply slamming into me already…

anonymous
anonymous
5 years ago

“I’m pretty sure anonymous is the same person because they have the same icon and shit.”

You have nothing interesting to say and your moniker is try-hard and ret-ar-ded. Lurk more.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

Wow, “lurk more”. Wow. You’ve changed my perspective, person who has only been on here a few days. Your words wounded me in a way I will never recover from. Boo hoo, boo hoo. I am forever scarred by your harsh words and criticisms. I may never recover.
comment image

So wounded, such hurt, much sad.

Paradoxical Intention
5 years ago

Shorter Anonymous: “You’re all stupid and [slur]! I’m obviously smarter than you! You’re all weird and I’m going to make a very sorry attempt at making fun of you! Arglebargle!”

Anonymous, please don’t come in here and start waving your genitals around. None of us are impressed with them, nor do we want to get into some sort of measurement contest. It’s boring. You’re boring. Either be a more entertaining troll or go bother someone else.

anonymous
anonymous
5 years ago

“I am forever scarred by your harsh words and criticisms. I may never recover.”

Did you feel that? That was the three dozen people who post here, puffing and wheezing through an earth trembling, collective sigh of relief. “FINALLY, someone said it. Maybe now she’ll get the hint and change that stupid fucking moniker.” 😀

“nor do we want to get into some sort of measurement contest”

You damn right you don’t.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

*rolls eyes* People would have said if my name was bothering them. Unlike the people you hang around with, apparently. We’re a community that is forward about things and don’t badmouths behind people’s backs, unlike, it seems, whoever you hang around with.

Such nasty thoughts they must have but never share with you.

sunnysombrera
5 years ago

Oh dear, looks like someone figured out the password for parental controls on the computer.

Tessa
5 years ago

anonymous:

If you have to ask, you’re probably too dumb to understand the elaboration.

Well that was sadly predictable. *sigh* that was number 1 on my list of most obvious responses. I sure hope cleverness isn’t part of your goal. I guess this means you won’t elaborate. Oh well.

Kootiepatra
5 years ago

Someone posting as “anonymous” probably doesn’t have much grounds to criticize someone else’s nym.

rugbyyogi
5 years ago

There are male Real Dolls, I just checked the website. Same vacant stare as my recently separated spouse, but otherwise not really my type.

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
5 years ago

I quite like Jackie’s nym. Then again, she’s just a big softy really, so whatever nym she picked would make me go “awwwww” and post kittens.

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

I hope anonymous doesn’t call us fat, ugly or spinsters. That would be super devastating. I’ve never heard such witty rhetoric and clever insults before. All this time I’ve been posting online, I’ve been afraid a troll would be original enough to call me fat. I mean, he came up with an entire handful of synonyms for stupid. Who knows what he might think of next!

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
5 years ago

It could be worse, WWTH. If he calls you ugly then no male poster will ever want to talk to you again, and thus your entire scheme to snare yourself a husband by posting online will be ruined. The stakes are high.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
5 years ago

Are you sure you’re old enough to be posting here, kiddo? Well, word of advice: You’ll have a much longer and happier life if you aren’t so angry all the time. Constant seething rage is not good for the heart; just ask Breitbart. Here, have a lollipop.
comment image

Kootiepatra
5 years ago

I quite like Jackie’s nym. Then again, she’s just a big softy really, so whatever nym she picked would make me go “awwwww” and post kittens.

Also this.

Professor fate
Professor fate
5 years ago

Have to say the concept of pillow talk with a sex bot is just about the silliest thing I’ve read in a while. And then to get paranoid about it is simply the icing on the weird cake.

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

“In any case, if the plan is to obtain sperm via sexbot-secret-agents, I’d hope that they would at least select a better breeding stock to obtain the sperm from.”

I love how dangerously close this clueless shitlib comes to taking an awkward tumble down the kind of slippery slope that would violate the rest of her delusional, shitlib worldview.

Who knows, there may actually be hope for some of you yet 😀

Whereas there is none for you, because you are a boring, unoriginal, plebeian, thoroughly garden-variety right-wing moron.

Troll harder, emo kid.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants

Posts about MGTOW and sexbots always seem to attract a special brand of angry, stupid troll, the type who resent women for being independently happy and think their superiority can be restored by slinging cheap playground insults and strutting around preening, the way they imagine actual smart people do. Something tells me these posts are hitting a little too close to home for comfort.

That being said, I’m entirely in favor of shitlib. Shit needs to be free, man.

Falconer
5 years ago

I’m not entirely sure I’m going down the same lane you’re thinking of, but I can imagine having some of those interactive ads requiring the user to stimulate the sexbot’s clitoris-part. And then the MRAs losing their shit over “GOVERNMENT MANDATED FOREPLAY” (nevermind that corporations aren’t governmental bodies), and how sexbots have been ruined forever now.

Yeah, that was where I was going. I dunno why I got bashful about mentioning the clit.

If it taught some of these bros how to please a woman, it wouldn’t be a bad thing.

Falconer
5 years ago

BLOCKQUOTE MAMMOTH!

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

Posts about MGTOW and sexbots always seem to attract a special brand of angry, stupid troll, the type who resent women for being independently happy and think their superiority can be restored by slinging cheap playground insults and strutting around preening, the way they imagine actual smart people do. Something tells me these posts are hitting a little too close to home for comfort.

Yup. They’re the pigeons that can’t play chess, so they just upset all the pieces, poop on the board, and strut off thinking that’s how you win a game.

That being said, I’m entirely in favor of shitlib. Shit needs to be free, man.

Yeah. Down with the assholes keeping shit a prisoner! Free the shit!

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

just upset all the pieces, poop on the board, and strut off thinking that’s how you win a game.

It isn’t? So *that’s* why I’m banned from the library.

Paradoxical Intention
5 years ago

anonymous | August 7, 2015 at 3:29 am
Did you feel that? That was the three dozen people who post here, puffing and wheezing through an earth trembling, collective sigh of relief. “FINALLY, someone said it. Maybe now she’ll get the hint and change that stupid fucking moniker.” 😀

It’s cute how you think we’re all passive-aggressive and don’t know how to say things to people when they’re bothering us.

“nor do we want to get into some sort of measurement contest”

You damn right you don’t.

It’s also cute how you think that your dick is bigger than everyone else’s. In the most pathetic of ways. Like a child who doesn’t know that Santa isn’t real.

“I’m going to strut in here and brag about my huge cock! That’ll impress those stupid feminists!”

Pro tip: No one here cares about your dick, sunshine. Especially us ladies who are into dicks. We can find and purchase bigger and better.

Mortarius
Mortarius
5 years ago

Oh man trolls coming down and getting dogpiled never ceases to make a thread even funnier to me.