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Donald Trump: Not guilty of rape by reason of polling better than Jeb Bush?

Donald Trump on the man who reported Ivana Trump’s allegations: “He is a guy that is an unattractive guy.”

People in glass Trump Towers shouldn’t throw stones — or, perhaps, throw around accusations of rape, as one Donald Trump did recently in his now infamous remarks suggesting that Mexican immigrants are a bunch of rapists.

A must-read story yesterday in The Daily Beast points out that Trump is not only a rape accuser of sorts, but someone who was once very publicly accused of rape — by his now-former wife Ivana Trump, who, in a deposition in her divorce case against the Donald in the early 90s, said that she’s been attacked one night by her then husband in a fit of rage, screaming at her and pulling out her hair before ripping off her clothes and raping her. 

The Beast reports that, according to Lost Tycoon, a 1993 book about Trump by journalist Harry Hurt III, Ivana told her closest friends that “he raped me.” Later, though, in a statement she provided through Trump’s lawyers, and that was reprinted in the book as “A Notice to Readers,” Ivana backed away from the R-word, saying that

[a]s a woman, I felt violated, as the love and tenderness, which he normally exhibited towards me, was absent. I referred to this as a ‘rape,’ but I do not want my words to be interpreted in a literal or criminal sense.

Make of that what you will.

At the time, the Daily Beast notes, Trump declared the account in the book

incorrect and done by a guy without much talent … He is a guy that is an unattractive guy who is a vindictive and jealous person.

Very Trumpian.

But even more remarkable than this bizarre denial was the even Trumpier response that Michael Cohen, one of Trump’s lawyers, gave to the Daily Beast writer who asked him about the allegations:

You’re talking about the front-runner for the GOP, presidential candidate, as well as private individual who never raped anybody. 

Evidently one cannot be a rapist if one is polling better than Jeb Bush.

Cohen continued:

And, of course, understand that by the very definition, you can’t rape your spouse.

As the Beast points out, Cohen is completely wrong here. Not only is marital rape illegal in New York state now; it was illegal in New York state in 1989, the date of the alleged rape.

Perhaps sensing he wasn’t getting anywhere with the “you can’t rape your spouse” angle, “Trump’s lawyer then changed tactics,” the Beast reports,

lobbing insults and threatening a lawsuit if a story was published.

“I will make sure that you and I meet one day while we’re in the courthouse. And I will take you for every penny you still don’t have. And I will come after your Daily Beast and everybody else that you possibly know,” Cohen said. “So I’m warning you, tread very fucking lightly, because what I’m going to do to you is going to be fucking disgusting. You understand me?”

“You write a story that has Mr. Trump’s name in it, with the word ‘rape,’ and I’m going to mess your life up…for as long as you’re on this frickin’ planet…you’re going to have judgments against you, so much money, you’ll never know how to get out from underneath it,” he added.

Someone’s a bit grouchy.

Cohen continued, telling the Beast that

there is nothing reasonable about you wanting to write a story about somebody’s usage of the word ‘rape,’ when she’s talking [about] she didn’t feel emotionally satisfied.”

“Though there’s many literal senses to the word, if you distort it, and you put Mr. Trump’s name there onto it, rest assured, you will suffer the consequences. So you do whatever you want. You want to ruin your life at the age of 20? You do that, and I’ll be happy to serve it right up to you,” he added.

Given that the Beast ran the story, and we’re talking about it now, it kind of, sort of, appears that Cohen’s Trumpian lawyering backfired a little bit. And that’s a very good thing, because this is a story that needs to be re-aired.

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Falconer
5 years ago

I haven’t even finished Origins. I’ve got a copy of II, but I don’t have Inquisition yet.

I don’t know when I’ll be able to play any, because 1) tinies and 2) ultra-violence and blood splatter.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

@Falconer

You can turn off blood in the options menu.

@Orion

You’re right. The Dalish have no right to be assholes when their whole way of life wiped out by humans, who took away their language and culture from them through the slavery of their entire people and the destruction of their homeland over hundred of year so all they remember are a handful of legends and misremembered fragments here and there.

You’re so right, you’re so right. The Dalish, who split into tribes and became nomads for the express reason so the humans couldn’t wipe them all out at once or come in and enslave them all again shouldn’t be such assholes to them–Dalish are really touchy about those hundreds of year of slavery, which they totally shouldn’t be at all. “Never again shall we submit.” Pfft. Why would it matter if they submit? The humans obviously treat the elves they have work under them with respect and totally don’t, like, make them live in alienages where periodically go in and slaughter elves when they think they’re getting a little bit touchy about how they’re obviously not treated as shit.

Oh, and the Chantry! I mean, the Chantry? Why would elves not like the Chantry, where they rounded off the ears of Shartan and tried to completely erase the contribution that elves has in Andrastian lore? Or the fact that the Temple of Sacred Ashes was built on top of a temple of Mythal? Pfft! Chantry! They should love that shit! Andraste freed all those elf slaves and what have they done in return other than be little knife-eared thieves and rabble?

Man, Dalish, way to be some very obvious allegorical toss up between American Indians and Jewish people in a world ruled primarily through white humans. I mean, where do they get off?

I like to clarify that the snark above should be said in the most playful tone of Alistair’s snark voice because it’s a video game and shit and I don’t want to rewrite any of that not as snarky because I am an asshole…which is probably why I like the Dalish so much.

Also, Solas is, uh, different if you romance him. Or are nice to him in general. In fact, if you romance him, you can convince him that he missjudged the Dalish, although you get more approval if you make it seem like you’re a maverick, with your leather jacket and smoking and “I don’t let society tell me what to do” attitude. He’s a dick to pretty much everyone else who isn’t a lady elf, though.

He is less of an ass to everyone as the game goes on, though, through party banter. He’s very understanding and never says a cross word to Varric, Blackwall or Cassandra that I’ve heard. Well, he does call Blackwall an ass when Blackwall asks and tease him about ever fucking spirits but it wasn’t vicious. And Solas is pissed when he finds out about Blackwell (LOL), although he calms down and apologizes later.

But, in all honesty, put Blackwall and Solas in a party and they start acting like a couple of old men, talking about the glory days and shit. (Lol, grandpas in their 40s.) And he and Sera have some great lines, like the pissing magic line or the when Solas tries to freak out Sera. Brilliant.

And, yeah, I’m all for that Sera is the vessel of Anduril. It explains why she’s so scared of magic, for one, and so anti-elf and really good with a bow. Sandal is the vessel of June, IMO.

Falconer
5 years ago

Can I turn off the ravenous hordes of zombies out to destroy the world? ‘Cause I’m thinking that might be too much to play in front of tinies.

Heck, we aren’t even watching Steven Universe in front of ’em, and that’s only somewhat heavy.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

@Falconer

The game is rated PEGI 18 for a reason. Several, in fact. All to do with all sorts of violence.

sn0rkmaiden
5 years ago

I cannot wait for the debut of the completed Sarkeesian effect. I even drew my own imagined scene of the premiere.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
5 years ago

@sn0rkmaiden:

I’m picturing a small hotel conference room, a wheel-in TV, a handful of empty chairs, and a forlorn skull on the snack table.

Numenaster
Numenaster
5 years ago

Way back at page 1 somebody posted Trump’s recent tweet about sexual assault in the military. It included this line: 26,000 unreported sexual assults in the military.

Here’s what I’m wondering.

How does Trump know how many unreported assaults there were? WAS HE THERE?

Orion
5 years ago

I played the Solas romance. And I played Blackwall/Solas/Varric because I am a filthy powergamer.

It’s not Dalish contempt for humanity or distrust for city elves or hatred for the Chantry that I’m condemning. I mean, those things aren’t really saintly but it’s not like anyone else are saints either. My beef with the Dalish has very little to do with their interactions with humans. It’s their worst-of-all-worlds approach to magic and their tendency to destroy themselves. (They are also largely ineffective and self-sabotaging on their secondary stated goal of preserving and restoring elven history. That’s not much of a moral indictment; their primary goal — living free — is important enough on its own, but it is the reason Solas has so little use for them)

Specific examples omitted because they made the post really long, and because spoilers. I can cite sources for claims as needed.

The Dalish Keepers are like a combination of the worst aspects of Tevinters, apostates, and Templars. As in Tevinter, Dalish mages rule the clans without oversight. They use whatever magic they want, secretly. Even when that magic gets their people killed, or forces them to kill each other, they don’t disclose what they’ve done. They are never asked to explain their decisions or justify their actions. They also break laws like vir sulevanan with impunity.

Like apostates, Dalish mages operate in small number, far away from templars, other mages, or anyone else who could contain a disaster. The Rule of Two was originally a Sith idea, and works about equally well here. When either the First or the Keeper is lost (which happens constantly), there is no one to notice the other mage fall or stop them if they do; if the Keeper falls, the First probably can’t do anything about it. When a First falls, a Keeper probably could do something about it but apparently is not obligated to. Also like apostates, keepers know a mixed bag of magic and don’t have a clear code of conduct. Disagreements about what’s acceptable are shown to turn keepers against their students.

Like Templars, the Dalish preemptively execute young mages who don’t measure up, and sometimes attack untrusted mages, and fight to the death, without stopping to ask questions.

The infighting, secrecy, and carelessness don’t just take a huge toll in elven life and endanger innocent people nearby, they also prevent the Dalish from actually restoring any history. It’s not a Dalish who fixes the eluvian, it’s someone who is actually allowed to travel, read, and ask questions.

Orion
5 years ago

EDIT: Sure, they can be allegorical jews or native americans. But they aren’t the only elves in Dragon Age, all of whom are allegorical minorities. Different elves make choices that can be contrasted with each other — and, I would argue, can be contrasted with the choices that Jews and Native Americans in our history have made. As far as I know, there’s never been a Jewish or American group much like the Dalish; even if there were a very similar historical group, we wouldn’t judge them the same way, because the Dalish live in a fantasy setting, and the right choices for Earth may not be right for Thedas.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

@Orion

Okay, I think you’re citing stuff from the second game, which I wouldn’t know of because I’ve only played the first and third ones. All I really know of the second game is that it’s framed around Varric telling a story, and I know there’s plenty of people who headcanon incongruities and level designs around that.

I remember the Dalish tribe my Warden comes from and they certainly don’t sound like that. Of course, my Warden comes from the same tribe as Merrill and a lot of shit was retconned in the second game, like her personality for one. I know people are kinda confused that city elves would bow to a Keeper for another, which is confusing since, you know, city elves don’t keep up really with worshiping the Creators but rather worship the Maker in their elfy way, if the City Elf origins is anything to go by.

There’s also the fact that Dalish suddenly have a reputation for being mean to city elves when the Mahariel clan takes in Pol; in fact, in the City Elf origin, you can entertain the thought of joining a Dalish clan plus Alarith was treated kindly by the Dalish elves, who killed the bandits that attack the Tevinter slaver caravan thingy he was in and left his stuff alone.

IDK, I’ll have to reread some codex. I’ve also never read the comics or books so I’m at a disadvantage there, too.

You know, I wonder if this information is from a human perspective or an elven perspective? I know there’s codex entries written by humans about dwarves, elves and the Qunari, which I feel should always be taken with a grain of salt, especially when the Chantry is involved in the narrative.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

Also, it’s confirmed by David Gaider that alienages were inspired by Jewish ghettos and the Dalish were inspired by Native Americans.

The medieval Jewish ghettos were the original inspiration behind the alienages, yes. It grew to encompass other things, of course, but all of Thedas started as a fictionalized version of European history, so that is indeed where it began.

From the forums

As for the elves, there are some comparisons to be found in the minorities present in medieval Europe. A friend of mine pointed me to a discussion online where someone was utterly convinced that the elves in Thedas were copied from the Witcher, which I found amusing since right there in history we have the Jewish and the Rom. There were “Jewish Quarters” in many major cities, places where the Jewish were confined to — similar to the Alienages in Thedas. The Dalish started off as the wandering Rom (or gypsies, if you prefer) but evolved into something more akin to North American Natives (and, really, the Native situation is also a good analogy for elves as a whole).

Also from the forums.

So, I mean, they can be allegorical in the sense that they are allegorical, so…

Orion
5 years ago

Ah, you haven’t played Dragon Age 2.

Basically, virtually everyone in Dragon Age 2 is morally reprehensible, astoundingly foolish, or both. Both major NPC and several party members seize every opportunity to make bad decisions and ruin things for everyone.

Because Dragon Age 2 is the only full game with a Dalish party member, and because her personal story is woven in with parts of the main plot, the Dalish get way more screen time in DA 2 than anywhere else in the series, and like everyone else in that game, they come out looking terrible.

IIRC, most of the codex articles cite sources. A lot of it is written by Chantry scholars, including a lot of the Dalish articles. Other are transcriptions of Dalish songs, prayers, or legends, which were presumed copied out by humans but not authored by them.

As for allegory — I apologize, I was sloppy with my language. I didn’t mean to dispute the idea that there’s an allegory, just assert that allegorical figures inevitably have traits that don’t overlap with their sources and can be judged separately.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

@Orion

Ahhh, gotcha.
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I guess the question is since DA 2 characters seem super extreme with polarized views, does what it offer story wise necessarily cannon? Is it really true as it is or exaggerated since Varric is telling the story?

Everything I’ve heard, from Meredith being overly paranoid and using a tiny ass red lyrium statue to make a big ass sword to Orsino using blood magic to prove to the Templars that mages don’t use blood magic? I mean, really. I think even Hawke agreed that what Varric wrote was exaggerated and such in DA:I in a letter or codex entry? Doesn’t DA 2 start with Varric exaggerating the crap out of everything until Cassandra calls his bullshit?

What is up? What is really happening here? I really need to find a LP of this game.

Tessa
5 years ago

Numenaster:

Way back at page 1 somebody posted Trump’s recent tweet about sexual assault in the military. It included this line: 26,000 unreported sexual assults in the military.

Here’s what I’m wondering.

How does Trump know how many unreported assaults there were? WAS HE THERE?

The numbers are based on military estimates from the Pentagon. But really, that is what you got out of the tweet?

ryeash
5 years ago

@Pandapool

I get that the stories about Fen’Harel are either misguided accounts or straight up propaganda. Solas is wise and ancient and powerful. He’s not a tame god, but also not a bad one. But he was insincere with what he considered his heart. Perhaps it’s a reflection of my trust issues, but I can’t partner myself with a person who lies to his own heart. Sera is honest about what she is and what she believes. I value a genuine jerk face over a duplicitous one.

Re: DA:2–

Varric is a storyteller. He put his own touch on everything. He was close with the Hero of Kirkwall, too, so he probably exaggerated goddamn everything concerning zir.

And yeah, everyone pretty much sucked in that game. God. Damn. ANDERS.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

SO MANY DRAGON AGE: INQUISITION SPOILERS AHEAD OMG.

@ryeash

How dare you say he’s insincere with his heart. Have you ever listened to him, like, ever? HAVE YOU SEEN HIS FACE WHEN HE TALKS? Solas can be a racist, lying, insensitive fuck up who ruins everything he touches, took away the elves’ immortality, might have actually started this whole Blight business which fucked up the world royally, but the ONE thing he isn’t is insincere. I take great offense to that and will prove you so fucking wrong.

“[Solas] chickens out on it, because in that moment, and he’s about to tell you [about being Fen’Harel], pulls back at the last moment, tells you about the vallaslin instead, goes in on the kiss and is just so ready to just lose himself and just forget about the past. And then he has to push back. The part where he steps back and his face changes because he knows he has to break it off right there or he’s going to have betrayed himself – I just love that. And it is so sad, and it has broken the hearts of many players, and it broke my heart when I wrote it.” – Patrick Weekes on Solas

All along the romance, Solas warns you that it was a bad idea, but you continue and he can’t help but fall, and as much as he wants to be with Lavellan, he can’t.

He needed the Orb to bring back the elves to their full glory, to right what he did wrong, but he was weak, unable to use his Orb. That’s why he gave the Orb to Corypheus, in desperation and why he was so upset to find it broken. That’s why he goes and steals Flemeth’s power, so he can have the magic necessary to accomplish his task, to help the People who he sacrificed his loved ones, the elven gods, for.

DO YOU SEE HIS FACE DURING THAT SCENE? IT FUCKING FALLS SO FUCKING HARD.

http://solaspls.tumblr.com/post/104620798624/solassians

LOOK AT THAT FACE AND TELL ME THAT’S NOT SINCERE HEART BREAK.

Some party baster: Listen to him – LISTEN TO HIM.

Hear how SINCERE he is? That is fucking DEDICATION.

If that is not sincerity and passion in his voice, I will eat my own foot.

But, you know, it is. He’s so fucking sincere.
comment image

If anyone is insincere, it’s Iron Bull, and only if you sacrifice the Chargers. He gave a part of himself up, and he regrets it, but he won’t fucking say it if they die. And that’s why you should NEVER sacrifice the Chargers or so fucking help me…

Well, I mean, you can sacrifice them, but if you sincerely think it’s the right thing to do, we aren’t friends.

Fuck the Qun.

And I’m glad Anders blew up the Chantry. Fuck the Chantry.

Fuck all gods everywhere.
comment image

I HAVE TOO MANY EMOTIONS OVER VIDEO GAMES PLEASE STOP ME.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

The last video I messed up but it should have bantz like this:

Dorian: Do you use spirits as servants, Solas? You’d have no trouble capturing them.

Solas: No. They are intelligent, living creatures. Binding them against their will is reprehensible.

Dorian: How much “will” do they have? They’re amorphous constructs of the Fade.

Solas: Hmm

Dorian: There’s no harm putting them to constructive use, and most mages back home treat them well.

Solas: And any that show any magical talent are freed, are they not?

Dorian: What? Spirits don’t have magical talent.

Solas: Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you were talking about your slaves.

And Solas puts the fire behind those words. Sincerity.

ryeash
5 years ago

@Pandapool

Dude, much love, but SOLAS IS A LYING LIAR WHO LIES.

AND ANDERS TOO.

AND I LOVE THEM AND I HATE THEM AND I LOVE THEM AND THEY BROKE MY HEART AND I HATE THEM.

….and I also have too many emotions about video games. Maybe. A little. Definitely maybe.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

@ryeash

It’s okay, you can hate him because Solas lies, but he’s nothing if not sincere.

Possibly Anders, too, although I haven’t gotten that far in this LP I’m watching to know yet. I hope the LPer romances Anders although he might romance Fenris, which I’m super uncomfortable with because he’s hurting so much because of his past and it just seems like you’re taking advantage of him since he’s hurting so much for actual love but IDK, I never played the game, maybe I’m just being stupid.

Am I being stupid feeling that it would be taking advantage of Fenris to romance him?

ryeash
5 years ago

@Pandapool

Fenris has agency. He’s incredibly angry and hurt and for good reason, but Hawke seems to soothe that. They have fun together, and you get to see the real Fenris rather than the front he puts up for the rest of the world. It’s sweet but sad at the same time, because you think the whole time that this is the Fenris who could have been if he hadn’t been treated so horribly. His story’s such a sad one. Have you gotten to his later character quest? Because holy fuck jeeze ouch. Totally unrelated, but it’s like impossible to properly battle when you’re bawling your eyes out of your head.

And Anders is quite sincere. He really thinks what he does will help the mages. He’s ready to sacrifice himself to ensure no one like him will be denied their freedom again. He even keeps the one he loves in the dark and expects to die by zir hand when he’s finished. Still…he kills so many innocent people, including a woman who was working to change the way the Chantry treated mages. He also causes the deaths of many, many more when his actions spark the mage rebellion and drive the templars to working for Corypheus and turning themselves into red lyrium monsters. I found a letter from a father who became one of those monsters to his daughter trying to explain that he was helping to keep the world safe for her by taking the lyrium. Directly or not, that can be laid at Anders’s feet, too. He knew that and still did what he did. His actions were horrible, but his intentions were pure.

My beef with Solas mostly lies in the fact that he didn’t necessarily have pure intentions, and he lied to cover up his own world-ending mistake. He calls Lavellan his heart and then refuses to share anything at all with her. Then he leaves her and blames her for falling for him. That manner of douchebaggery does not fly with me, say thankya.

ryeash
5 years ago

P.S. Random feels drive-by!

https://m.youtube.com/?#/watch?v=6vSjmfYhinA

I was actually listening to that song one day and thinking of how much it reminded me of the Anders romance, and I looked up the title in combination with DA:2 and whadya know? Someone thought the same thing and made a video. The actual video for the song is also amazing. I love Nightwish.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

That is a good Nightwish song, but I haven’t gotten far into the LP to see anyone yet. I’m at the part about getting the will for Hawke’s mother.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

Okay, the LPer finally got to Fenris and, like, he’s actually really polite, reserved, has a bit of a dry wit and a super cute chuckle? That’s, like, not broody or moody at all. Does he become broody and moody if something related to him being a slave comes up? Because that’s not broody or moody, that’s, like, being triggered or some shit.

The fandom has lied to me. Hell, Anders has been much more broody about having to give away his cat so far.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

What the fuck did they do to Keeper Marethari.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

Merrill is Tali. She’s acting just like Tali.

Orion
5 years ago

Fenris gets increasingly broody over the years. The game timeskips 3 years to act 2 and another 3 years to act 3. Most of the other characters build lives in Kirkwall and/or work on pet projects. Fenris… doesn’t. He chills in that mansion for 6 years, waiting for his enemies to come after him. Doesn’t even clean or repair it (possibly because there’s no budget for another map, but someome, I think Varric, calls him on it). In Act 2, I think, you have a conversation where he talks about his life feeling empty and unsatisfying. You can propose that he try to make kirkwall home, or celebrate how far he’s come, or go back and try to reconnect with his past, but no matter what he shoots you down.

His romance storyline involves him freaking out and breaking up with you for a good chunk of the game, and also pacing in front of a fireplace talking about revenge tasting like ashes. There are also a jillion ways to accidentally end the romance, some of which are very difficult to anticipate. Also, he rips a couple dudes souls out through their chests and throws a wine bottle at a wall.

Also, if you play on Nightmare mode, he’s really weak. Pretty awesome on Normal though. (Isabela is outright terrible on Nightmare; Merrill is only good with another mage. Aveline/Varric/Anders is the power combo, which kinda makes sense I guess. Teamwork-oriented, altruistic people make for better teammates)

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

Fenris has too cute of a chuckle to turn broody. I just want Hawke to do a bunch of stupid shit and jokes to make him laugh all the time.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

And Anders needs a cat. A cat would do Anders good. Nothing’s worse than seeing a cat person with kitten withdrawal. Hell, it sucks to go through. I haven’t had a cat sit on my lap in almost four years and I let one lay on me while I was in an uncomfortable position on the floor for 20 minutes today, It was great. I love animals in general so I can just imagine what it would be like for an actual cat person to not have a cat for, what, several months or so?

Anders should open up a place for wayward kittens that could double as a secret clinic. He could heal people and kittens. That would be great!

DJG
DJG
5 years ago

I just can’t believe they didn’t have the sense to make sure he couldn’t put his own name on Turnberry.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

I like Merrill in this. She has the same overly cheerful sarcasm to disguise hopeless despair that I do.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
5 years ago

Okay, now, I think the people who call Merrill naive really don’t understand her brand of humor. It’s a very cheery snark that doesn’t differ much from her regular sweetness in tone so it kinda just stumps people in a way that makes them think she’s naive.

She’s me in fucking real life, I swear. I’m not good with people because they don’t know when I’m being sarcastic and joking and I really hate having to make a big show of it to get across that I’m telling a joke.

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