I suppose I should mention the latest attempt at viral outrage from the always terrible Return of Kings boys: A post by B.R. Crumb with the deliberately offensive title “Why You Should Avoid Dating Girls Who Claim They Were Raped.”
The trolly Crumb is so unashamed of his trolliness that he actually devotes a chunk of his post to imagining an outraged reaction from me (“already I can see David Futrelle’s fourth chin trembling as he stammers his rebuttal in a fit of pique”).
So I might as well give him what he wants, a reaction, though it’s one of weariness rather than “pique.”
Crumb’s “argument” is that, while men shouldn’t necessarily “forego banging a raped chick (after getting her written consent, notarized and in triplicate)” they shouldn’t enter into relationships with them, because a dating strike against “chicks” who claim to have been raped will, as he puts it, undercut the appeal of rape. No, really.
Girls are fond of falsely crying rape because in the sexually liberated West, being known as a rape victim is all upside, no downside. Raped chicks are praised for heroism and bravery. Other people lavish attention on them, and ask them to speak about themselves at length, which for chicks is like crack cocaine.
In extreme cases, raped chicks have leveraged their purported suffering into international acclaim and seven-figure book deals. …
If men once again refuse to date raped chicks, rape will become once more an infrequent source of private and passing pain, and not an indelible merit badge to be trumpeted across all the media outlets in the land.
As you can see, his infallible plan to reduce the alleged appeal of rape is not actually a plan to reduce rape itself; it’s just a plan to try to get women to shut up about being raped.
In case this argument isn’t offensive enough for you, Crumb throws in a remark about raped women “orgasm[ing] underneath [their] alluring, bad-boy attacker[s].”
Crumb confesses that he doesn’t actually care much if men date “raped chicks”; they just need to announce publicly that they won’t.
What matters is that you say you won’t date raped chicks, and thus encourage girls to think that crying rape will hurt their romantic prospects.
Realize that we are fighting a war of disinformation, against an unprincipled enemy that is openly contemptuous of the truth. Nothing could be more tediously unproductive than arguing over facts with an opponent who has chosen to forego them. To win this fight, you have to hit the bitches where it hurts.
And for most chicks, that means attacking their romantic prospects—or, more fundamentally, their attractiveness. Even the most manjawed cunt secretly harbors fantasies of locking down a good man, marrying him, and thereby trebling her disposable income. Chicks will cry rape if it means endless, adoring attention with zero associated cost. But they won’t if they think getting raped renders them unattractive in the eyes of men.
Though the headline of Crumb’s piece refers to “Girls Who Claim They Were Raped” (emphasis mine), and he uses similar language in his post, he quickly forgets about including this qualifier, referring repeatedly to “raped chicks” — as if, on some level, he recognizes that the overwhelming majority of rape claims are indeed true.
Towards the end of the post, he seems to suddenly remember that he’s supposed to pretend that rape accusations are all a bunch of lies.
[I]f we band together in this effort, then someday, in the not-so-distant future, a 6.5 will find herself in her dorm room, regretfully recalling the night she got pounded out by the captain of her college’s club soccer team… and she’ll idly contemplate crying rape.
But then she’ll remember how much she likes the captain of the club swim team, and she’ll consider the impact crying rape would have on his opinion of her. And she’ll think better of her little lie.
And when she does, it will be because together, we took a stand against ever dating raped chicks.
He couldn’t even keep up the facade for more than two paragraphs; in the final paragraph of that quote, he has returned to talking about women that even he would acknowledge have really been raped.
And that, of course, is the whole point of his screed. His “plan,” of course, is really no more than a fantasy — a fantasy, not of a world free of rape but one free of all talk of rape.
He’s not really interested in shutting up women who lie about rape; he’s interested in shutting up those who tell the truth.
But there is a silver lining here: If the terrible men who make up the bulk of the Return of Kings demographic actually do refuse to date rape survivors, well, they won’t be dating rape survivors. Return of Kings has already declared dating strikes against fat women, women with short hair and probably a number of other kinds of women that I can’t remember at the moment. Ultimately, one can only hope, they’ll end up boycotting all possible categories of human women and settle into long-term and hopefully more-or-less sanitary relationships with their Fleshlights.
I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed.
(I’m sure the comments to Crumb’s post are even worse than anything he’s written; I just don’t have the energy to wander into them today.)
CORRECTION: Crumb says he did not write the headline to his piece; I have reworded one sentence to reflect this.
pineapplecookies,
Both of those guys sound awful. I can’t believe that the second one told you that the attempted rape didn’t sound like a big deal. Some people really can’t empathize.
“Even the most manjawed cunt secretly harbors fantasies of locking down a good man, marrying him, and thereby trebling her disposable income.”
Wait, but I thought the wage gap was a myth. So why would marrying have such a large impact on her disposable income?
Why not?
Just to clarify: I was making out with him, but I didn’t want to have sex with him that night.
@alaisvex:
Bonus points: I broke up with “non-empathizing” dude. A friend asked me why we broke up and, after I told him the reason, he thought I was exaggerating.
*Trigger warning*
This is so fucked up. I just remembered this for the first time in years. Or I just re-remembered it because I forgot I remembered it before? How the fuck did that slip my mind?
Creepy.
I had a close “friend” push me onto my bed, hold me down and try to force me to cut him with a knife. He was really into the idea that I’d enjoying hurting him and really wanted to push me to the point I would. He kept putting the knife in my hand and I kept dropping it and saying,”Never gonna happen, man.” No crying. No yelling for help. (My mom would have killed us both.) No struggling. Just refusal. His girlfriend called and he let me answer the phone on my headboard. (Phones had cords then.) He bashfully got off me when I handed him the phone. Dude was 6’4″ with a knife. At that point in my life I’d seen enough sexual harassment and bullying that it barely phased me. Men, amirite? Can’t trust ’em further than you can throw ’em. Ho-hum, on with life. I was surprised and let down, but…man.
Even a masochist with a domme fetish can be rapey as hell. You’d think you’re safe with one, but you aren’t.
I laughed it off and we (all three of us) continued to pal around until graduation. That’s rape culture. I told no one. I didn’t want to embarrass him. I was pissed but hey, no reason to be petty, right? Forgive and forget. Besides, friends don’t narc.
“Friends” who rape are not uncommon. Those “nice guys” have never been nice.
A friend of mine slapped her attacker when he tried to rape her while waiting for the rest of their gaming buddies to show up at his house. (D&D) He sat down and cried. He didn’t expect her to be that strong. (I’ve seen her chop wood 7 months pregnant. I don’t know what he was thinking. She’s a beast.) His power fantasy was ruined. Everyone else showed up. They all went to lunch. She didn’t tell anyone for years.
Nerdy “nice” dudes can be rapists too.
Another friend had a neighbor break into her house and try to rape her when she was a teen. The UPS guy knocked on the door and he high tailed it out the back door. She told no one because she was afraid her dad would beat her (as he often did) for having a boy in the house. He lived next door for years.
Rape culture fucks with women in so many ways.
There is no upside to rape. Most victims never tell. But if you get women alone long enough and they start to trust each other, that’s when the truth comes out. No book deals. No retribution. No fanfare. Just relief that you can safely say what happened to you.
That relief is something these rapists fuckers don’t want women to have. Anything that makes the pain and shame go away is something they want to keep out of reach of women. They dream of broken women because that’s what get’s them off.
They tell women that if they don’t act like a victim men won’t treat them like one. That’s bullshit. My stalker in college said he was attracted to me because I reminded him of Beatrice from Much Ado About Nothing. My stalker believed he was like a knight in some fucked up version of courtly love. What did I wear at school? T’s, jeans and cargo shorts or long hippie skirts. I wore a ponytail and often a ball cap. I didn’t wear make up. I didn’t go to parties. I didn’t drink. (I didn;t have the money had I wanted to.) I was an am a nerd. He liked that about me. I had red hair. He liked redheads. I was the kind of girl he wanted and by golly, he was going to get me.
He was “awkward” and clearly had a touch of the “not quite right”. So the school did nothing but tell him I’d told on him when I did. He was not forced off campus until he started to stalk a professor. He’d been stalking various women for years. Turns out he’d been kicked out of a couple high schools for it prior to finding his way to my school. (He had a thing for cheerleaders too.) He used to hang out around a local coffee shop and ask women to give him a ride home. It took an employee of the university complaining to get anything done.
Oddly enough, not one of us were showered with money and praise. I don’t know where he is today, but I’d like to think he’s dead because that is the only way he was ever going to stop.
@Lea (May 29, 2015 at 9:35 am):
Me:
You:
Good point. : – )
I guess I was just erring on the side of caution because there are some self-described feminists (Hugo Schwyzer) and kinksters (Jian Ghomeshi) that also don’t “do consent good”, but that’s more a willingness for rapists/abusers/phonies to use the high level of ethics implicit in feminism and BDSM as cover for their predation/phoniness.
MRAs don’t even feign such cover, so …
MRAs ≈ Rapists/Abusers
… seems to be a highly accurate equation. Again, good call on your part.
OH MY GOD! Lol!
If you liked this, you’re gonna LOVE this. Just read the comments down below. Lol….
http://www.breitbart.com/big-government/2015/03/08/is-feminism-destroying-women/#comment-1895302673
Oh hi JC, thought we’d forgotten about your previous trolling?
Read the article, it’s full of shit and fully detached from reality, nothing more to say really. Moving on.
Thank you all and I give truck loads of love to everyone who has shared their stories here.
And a truckload of puppies
This is, I believe, what Ed Brayton over at FTB calls “weapons grade projection.”*
And the whole premise of the OP is a manufactured ‘problem’ (women “idly contemplating crying rape”) fabricated to justify a noxious and preexisting ‘solution’ (make sure you shame those rape victims!).
*not scare quotes, just giving attribution
I’ve been quietly reading this blog for months, and this is the first time I’ve felt physically ill reading something here. The only way my brain can accept this is with the idea that the writer doesn’t actually believe it, he’s just trying to generate controversy and clicks. No one can really believe that tripe, can they?
Now I feel like I’m insulting tripe.
I think this is a better response to all RoK posts.
http://www.google.com.au/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CAYQjB0&url=http%3A%2F%2Fimgarcade.com%2F1%2Faliens-flamethrower-gif%2F&ei=5fFoVZnxLIjnuQTMtoOACg&bvm=bv.94455598,d.c2E&psig=AFQjCNHjqwDqgqTa6jori8f-2EA_tByRjg&ust=1433027392294169
As a mere sexual assault survivor, can I get in on this not-being-dated-by-MRAs action? Sounds great to me. I’ll cut my hair off and get fat if it’ll help!
Also, the repeated use of ‘raped’ as an adjective is creepy as hell.
This is great news for ALL of womankind. If PUAs follow this advice asshats will be coming out to declare themselves, letting discerning women know whom to stay the hell away from. Thanks for the PSA, dudes!
Ironically there’s an article in the Daily Mail today saying that women do lie about rape and a woman commented that while this is true (and they should be jailed for it) there are far more women who HAVE been raped and in fact they far outnumber false claims. The result so far is that 70 people agree with that statement and a whopping 79 disagree. Guess all the misogynists from the manosphere are out in force! How can they possibly think more women make false claims than are raped? Where do they get their stats from? Surely even the most intelligent of men would know they are wrong? The mind boggles! Makes me sick how they hijack articles on this subject and truly believe that their illogical crap is the truth.
Well I’m glad they’re encouraging the jerks who frequent their site to out themselves as the jerks they truly are.
When I saw the title, I thought it was going to be about MRAs encountering a woman who tells them they’ve been raped and the guy saying he doesn’t date “chicks who claim they’ve been raped.” That’s messed up, but it makes sense with their views: they don’t want to be “accused of rape,” so they are protecting themselves.
Now that it sounds like they’re announcing they don’t date “raped chicks” whenever the subject comes up, they’re really telling all around (and their friends) not to date them. If I worked in an office where a guy did something like this, I would not date him despite not being a “raped chick” because such sentiments suggest he is a rape sympathizer and potentially dangerous, and I would discourage others from dating him as well. Thanks for doing us all a favor. This way, people that might date these guys won’t have to figure this out too late.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/ee89306dbd7e18f89e16b23d00a0f41e/tumblr_mwi03j5pNS1r1ijk1o1_500.png
PUA in a nutshell.