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Paul Elam responds to critics of his phony White Ribbon page with reasoned argument. Kidding! He had a tantrum

Paul Elam: U mad?
Paul Elam: He seems mad.

Paul Elam, the maximum leader of hate site A Voice for Men, has responded to the first wave of media coverage of his phony White Ribbon site with a truculent little rant.

Salon.com, Thinkprogress.org and the ever intellectually flatulent David Futrelle have rage-written on this issue barely 24 hours after we launched the site.

How does he know about the flatulence? In my defense, I’m still recovering from Dollar Taco Tuesday.

I was also just interviewed by Cosmopolitan Magazine, being asked such incisive questions as, “Do you think it is ever OK to hit a woman?”

I imagine that Cosmo was just trying to get a reaction from him, since it’s fairly well-known, at least among those who follow the Men’s Rights set,  that Elam’s answer to the hitting women question is yes, yes, a thousand times yes! Indeed, Elam can barely restrain himself on the subject, having penned a short story, an allegedly “satirical” post and a serious, non-satirical post all laying out his case for punching women, and not only in self-defense.

Elam pauses his rant for a moment to make the whimsical assertion that his phony WhiteRibbon.org site is an “attempt to insert empiricism and genuine expertise into the discussion of violence in the home” before setting forth what he calls “a few facts” that he thinks will answer all questions.

One, White Ribbon Campaign is not trademarked by anyone. Deal with it.

Sorry, Paul. I don’t think this is the get out of jail card you think it is. The real White Ribbon campaign could assert common law trademark rights. It’s been around since 1991.

His other facts are kind of boring, so let’s just move on to the heart of the tantrum:

I have a message for Salon, ThinkProgress, Futrelle and anyone else bashing us for presenting valid research on a very real social problem. It is a message I will not use to sully the pages of WhiteRibbon.org.

This message is this: Go right straight to Hell you gang of bigoted, lying scumbags. That is, if Hell will even have you pieces of shit. …

That’s it. Write motherfuckers. Whine. Complain. Cry in your fucking Cheerios. The only thing you will ever accomplish is helping us spread the truth.

U mad bro?

I think he’s mad.

Oh, and one last thing. Send your lawyers. We will be happy to ride them for a while just for the fun of watching you pay the fucking bill.

Uh, who exactly are you talking to here? I’m pretty sure that neither I nor Salon nor ThinkProgress will be sending any lawyers. Someone else might, though. I guess we’ll have to see how that works out.

P.S. And while we’re talking about the spiteful immaturity of AVFMers, here’s an AVFM post from the YouTuber blabber “Mad Shangi” in which he actually boasts about acting like an obtuse diskhead in an, er, “debate” with me on Twitter.

More proof that it’s pointless to actually try to discuss anything with people who are either terminally thickheaded, or posting in bad faith, or, as seems to be the case with Mr. Shangi, a bit of both.

 

 

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leftwingfox
5 years ago

I’d never use the phrase “quivering mound of love pudding” in the bedroom, but Richard Griffith’s delivery of the line makes me giggle uncontrollably.

It’s like Patton Oswalt’s routine about G-rated smut being WAY more horrifying.

marinerachel
marinerachel
5 years ago

I’m just plain scared of birds.

pallygirl
pallygirl
5 years ago

@marinerachel: Australia has vicious birds. Who knew?

Falconer
5 years ago

@pallygirl:

@marinerachel: Australia has vicious birds. Who knew?

DO NOT ENGAGE THIS BIRD.

kittehserf - MOD
5 years ago

LOL did you look at the magpie page on that site, Falconer? It’s Teenage Pest Magpie season here now, the poor parents are wandering around and the kids (who are pretty well full grown) are following them EEEP EEEP EEEP EEEP EEEP EEEwhaarble when parent gives up waiting for it to look for its own damn food and shoves something in its beak.

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

Gross comment coming up. You’ve been warned.

Would black pudding describe an Ebola vagina?

I’m sorry.

Misha
Misha
5 years ago

weirwoodtreehugger,

New keyboard now thank you please.

Karalora
Karalora
5 years ago

@Falconer

The Aquarium of the Pacific in Long Beach, as part of its mission to educate the public about marine life, has an aviary full of rainbow lorikeets. I don’t get it either. But they are very cute and will perch all over you, up to half a dozen at a time, if you have one of the little cups of nectar the aquarium sells for that very purpose.

Catalpa
Catalpa
5 years ago

One of the better euphemisms for a vagina that I’ve heard was “fairy purse”. It sounds so cute. >.>

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

@Karalora

WEIRD. The Newport Aquarium in Cincinnati does the exact same thing with the exact same birds and the exact same little cups of nectar.

contrapangloss
5 years ago

WWTH,

No.

Could we not go there? Ebola really doesn’t work that way. It causes hemmorage, so it really is more like unexpicable bruising, fever, and bleeding from the orrifices.

The blood is not black. Black and tarry would be blood that’s gone through the digestive system. It’d be in stool, or in vomit.

Not out of that one, it wouldn’t be black.

Also, Ebola really doesn’t care who contracts it, so any other justification for why using that color works is totally wrong and awful. I’m going to assume “good-ish” faith and assume you were refering to the bloody-ness, and not that other ‘justification’.

Regardless, No.

I’m noping away from this thread for a bit…

hellkell
hellkell
5 years ago

Contrapangloss: I think you read a bit much into WWTH’s comment. Wow.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
5 years ago

To be honest, I saw some of the same implications contrapangloss saw. Maybe because there’s been so much about ebola in the news, and so many terrible people equating it with all of Africa and all black people.

hellkell
hellkell
5 years ago

I just saw a bad joke.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
5 years ago

*shrug*

ChelleG
ChelleG
5 years ago

Boca Chica! I live two miles from there and it requires enormous reserves of self control not to eat there every day.

I have a cousin who refers to her vagina as her “flower” and there is just not enough Lana Kane style “Nope!” in the world for that nonsense.

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

Um yeah, I meant blood. Nothing to do with race. I do see how it could come off that way, but I hope people know me well enough to know I wouldn’t make a racist joke. But sorry if it’s offensive, mods can delete it if anyone likes. I won’t protest.

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

ChelleG,

I live clear across town and don’t have a car or I’d be the same way.

zennurse
zennurse
5 years ago

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/politics/news/a32452/antifeminist-site-white-ribbon/

I guess Cosmo wasn’t impressed. Comments are already under attack, just proving the point yet again. Not pretty and there are only a few.

marinerachel
marinerachel
5 years ago

Fairy purse is too close to coin purse which is a euphemism for scrotum so, while it is indeed cute-sounding, I can’t get behind that.

Misha
Misha
5 years ago

Oh whoops, I also just saw a shockingly bad joke. Hence tipping wine over my keyboard.

WEIRD. The Newport Aquarium in Cincinnati does the exact same thing with the exact same birds and the exact same little cups of nectar.

Chessington zoo over here does exactly the same thing! I loved the lorikeets perching on my head and arms. Not so much after when I realised they’d done their business on me. There were no warnings for that.

andiexist
andiexist
5 years ago

@Falconer

If she’s already having sex, now is probably a bad time to stick penises in her. Unless, of course, it’s a threesome.

…a threesome with the penis-sticker. Not just a random threesome.

marinerachel
marinerachel
5 years ago

The Vancouver Aquarium has an Amazon exhibit that’s a free flight gallery but their attitude is totally different. You make sure there’s no food on you anywhere and the birds stay away from you. Otherwise, you’ll be fucking assaulted by TERRIFYING hyacinth macaws and ibis. There are some little birds in there but they’re way too wild to perch on you and the whole point of not bringing food in there is to prevent them from contacting you. The exhibit is kept wild and you just pass through it. The animals in it think you’re the foreigner.

marinerachel
marinerachel
5 years ago

Then there’s the Bloedel Conservatory in Queen Elizabeth Park in Vancouver. It’s an even grander free flight gallery with a couple hundred birds calling it home. Again, you do NOT feed them. They do NOT come in contact with you. They’re too wild. Some of the finches are really brassy though and, in big groups, will tolerate people if they’re hanging around their feeding station. Many of the parrots who call the conservatory home will exhibit some unnatural behaviours because they were pets and were either rescued or given to the conservatory. A couple of them are sufficiently curious that they’ll follow people around the conservatory but they still keep their distance.

I think that’s a better set-up for the people and birds that feeding them nectar and getting shit on.

Arctic Ape
Arctic Ape
5 years ago

Vulva names:

There’s one I originally saw in English, in a one-time encounter, and immediately stole, because it sounds really cute and catchy when translated into Finnish. Only I might never get to use it because it’s also potentially rather…gross?.

Warning

Warning

Warning

Vertical smile.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

The time I went to the Newport Aquarium, I was trying to lure in some lorikeets with the little cup of nectar. One came over and landed on my hand, swung upside-down and punched a hole in the bottom of the little cup with its beak. All the nectar proceeded to pour out! I couldn’t be mad, because it was so cute.

leftwingfox
5 years ago

Arctic Ape: Implies teeth, I think.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

The Newport Aquarium brought a penguin to the Kentucky Legislature the year I was hanging around there. The penguin was SO CUTE. They brought it to session. It behaved itself in the House, but in the Senate it shit on the floor.

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
5 years ago

Because of the racism in the media coverage I read it as a racist slur joke too. Then I though ok, we are having a huge misunderstanding here, so I left it alone. I can’t always tell if that is a good or bad choice.

marinerachel
marinerachel
5 years ago

comment image

marinerachel
marinerachel
5 years ago

Paul Elam is disgusting.

What’s not disgusting is How To Trap A Cat: http://www.boredpanda.com/how-to-trap-a-cat-circle/

seraph4377
5 years ago

Late to the party, haven’t really caught up on the thread, but I have to ask: why is he mad? Didn’t he want to piss people off? Wasn’t he boasting about it yesterday? Was he expecting that “pissed off” would consist of just a bunch of feminists and manginas impotently stewing while most of the world admired his cleverness for trying to steal from a charity? What’s going on here?

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
5 years ago

@marinerachel:

This One Weird Trick exploits a weakness in cat psychology…

katz
5 years ago

Such an accusatory look from that cat.

samantha
5 years ago

Sooo…Mr. MegaTurd is angry?

Hmm…Let me take a nano second to see if I care about Paul Male’s..er…Paul Elam’s hissy fit.

Nope…nada…not a bit. In fact, I hope that he has an apoplectic fit and, you know, falls over.

Jake Hamby (@jhamby)
5 years ago

The taco euphemism rattled around in my brain for a while while I was taking the dog for a walk. I was thinking “chalupa” or “pupusa”, and then I got it.

“Chupa Chups” = popular brand of lollipop, from chupar = “to suck” (see also Chupacabra)

put the two together: “chupa chalupa.” Or, if you prefer Salvadorean food, “chupa pupusa.” You’re welcome, Internet.

emilygoddess - MOD
emilygoddess - MOD
5 years ago

Things I learned from the comments on that post: ‘nonprofit’ means ‘volunteer’, and also nonprofit dv charities are money factories/ only exist to give jobs to women’s studies grads.

Mostly I’m just enjoying the irony of Elam stans accusing anyone else of grifting.

freemage
5 years ago

zennurse | October 24, 2014 at 3:22 pm

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/politics/news/a32452/antifeminist-site-white-ribbon/

I guess Cosmo wasn’t impressed. Comments are already under attack, just proving the point yet again. Not pretty and there are only a few.

Wow. I generally despise Cosmo–they just do way too much gender policing and bad sex advice (as in, “Never tell a man what you want, make him guess because only Slutty McSluts use their words”) to be treated as anything but a bad joke, but that article did a nice job of ripping through Elam’s bullshit.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
5 years ago

He honestly thinks that he can bully everyone and everything, including the legal system, into submission, doesn’t he? Sorry, angry abuser dude, that doesn’t work on institutions that are much bigger and more powerful than you are.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
5 years ago

Also! Cosmo isn’t a feminist publication. They rather like a lot of old-school gender roles. When even they think you’re full of shit, that’s not a good sign in terms of your likelihood of winning the general public over.

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

Go right straight to Hell you gang of bigoted, lying scumbags. That is, if Hell will even have you pieces of shit.

Poor Paulie pooped his pants. Pity Pampers don’t come in his size.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

Jill Filipovic wrote that Cosmo article. Interesting.

lightcastle
lightcastle
5 years ago

She is doing Cosmo’s political coverage, right? (I heard they decided since they were a magazone targeted at women they should have political coverage because women follow politics.)

Robert
Robert
5 years ago

Falconer – in Romeo and Juliet, Mercutio uses ‘medlar’ as a slang term for vulva. It’s a type of fruit that opens in a suggestive way.

Marinerachel – you’ve given me a new expletive. “Don’t that just burrito the sugar glider!”

lightcastle
lightcastle
5 years ago

Wait, Shambling Mounds are from people dying in a swamp? That is new. I don’t think they were originally swamp thing rip offs (although they did come out a few years after the comic), but they definitely are now.

opium4themasses
opium4themasses
5 years ago

So an ex-gf and I were talking about D&D items that so LD be stand ins for vulva/vaginas. (Long story about mishearing Boots of Whomping as Boobs of Whomping)

So I joke “portable hole”. She replies “coin purse”. I ask if I can make a deposit. She says “I can’t offer any interest.”

We both about died laughing.

sunnysombrera
5 years ago

Can’t believe this guy sets up a fraudulent website then rages when people see right through it. Can nobody commit a criminal offence these days without getting called out on it??? MISANDRY!!

binjabreel
binjabreel
5 years ago

Wait, I thought Shambling Mounds were just a semi-sentient carnivorous plant? Huh.

Though now all I can think of is The Horror of Party Beach and it’s sea anenamoe zombies or whatever the hell they were supposed to be.

Louise McOrmond-Plummer

Paul really doesn’t care about how far down the toilet his credibility goes, does he?