So in my recent post about Jordan “Sarkeesian Effect” Owen’s ridiculous video accusing Anita Sarkeesian of using super seekret mind control techniques in her Kickstarter fundraising video, I talked a bit about Bart Baggett’s “The Secrets to Creating Chemistry,” (pdf) which attempted to apply some dubious techniques from Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) to dating.
I think I captured how incredibly silly Baggett’s claims are – I mean, this is a guy who thinks that you can manipulate people into bed through such occult tricks as … using adverbs before verbs and adjectives before nouns.
But I’m not sure I captured just how deeply weird his little manual is, particularly when Baggett attempts to provide real-world examples of how you can use his, er, techniques to con people into falling in love or lust with you – that is, specific things you are supposed to say to the people you’re trying to
manipulate create chemistry with.
There’s just one problem with all these examples: they sound like they were written by robots from outer space with only the most minimal understanding of human language and/or psychology. Which they’ve gleaned from a pamphlet on how to sell insurance.
Here are some of his actual examples. (In the quotes that follow, I won’t bother to correct any of the typos; Baggett’s manual is riddled with egregious typos and proofreading failures that add to the surreality of it all.)
“Have you asked yourself if the unlimited potential of our relationship is what is making you so happy.”
No. No I have not asked myself that, at least not in those words.
“Have you naturally discovered how attractive you are becoming?”
Wat. Why not just, “hey you look great, did you do something different with your hair?” Or “cool shoes,” or “you have beautiful eyes” or, I dunno, “me like pretty lady.” I mean, virtually anything is better than “Have you naturally discovered how attractive you are becoming?”
“Becoming aware of the potentials of our relationship allows you to start experiencing the inner sense of malizing how completely we fit each other’s needs.”
“I was wondering if you mind can conceive of the power and feeling and closeness we are discovering.”
Again, these are literally things that Baggett thinks human beings should be saying to other human beings they are dating.
At the end of a date, don’t just say, “hey, I had a great time, let’s do this again.” Say
“During our time together, could be thinking about the next time we will meet?’
Sometimes Baggett assembles entire paragraphs worth of this NLP gobbledygook. Here’s something he suggests you say in order to convince someone you’re dating “to understand the benefits of committing to a relationship with you.”
“During our time together. I was wondering if you have ever considered the chief benefit of deciding to begin a monogamous relationship with that one’s special person you find attraction. As you begin to consider all the obvious reasons to make a commitment NOW, doesn’t it seem natural to feel more excited about our relationship.”
No. No it doesn’t.
“As your affection for me expands, are you realizing how incredibility happy you are to be with me.”
No. No I am not.
In one section of his manual, Baggett talks about using phony “quotes” that you’ve allegedly overheard in order to sneak your super seekrit NLP “embedded commands” into the conversation.
“The strangest thing happened last weekend. This woman walked right up to this guy and said, ‘Could you image you and I embracing in a long passionate kiss, right now?’ Wasn’t that a strange this to just come out and say to someone? People never cease to amaze me.”
Subtle, dude, subtle.
Here are some “Super Sentences Using Magic Phrases.”
“Have you already discovered how naturally you can develop a connection with someone you just met?”
“Naturally, and I will want to duplicate the excitement we feel, so let’s discuss what we will do on our next date.”
“Have you become aware of how fast you and I are clicking tonight?”
And here’s a super subtle and sophisticated way to “blur the line of truth and opinion.”
“You and I are here. We both came here alone. It’s getting late. It’s time we get outa here.”
Yeah, that’ll work.
Baggett also suggests that you use “binds” to trick people into agreeing with you. As he explains it, “[b]inds are when you link one statement (that they accept as true) with another statement you want them to accept as true.”
Watch this master at work:
“The more you feel a lack of trust, the more you will realize you really want to trust me completely.”
Yeah, nothing makes a person seem more trustworthy than attempted manipulation so blatant that it can be seen from outer space.
Baggett is apparently unaware that most people are actually pretty good at sensing when they’re being bullshitted.
“Most of my past girl/boyfriends have said that one of my best qualities is how comfortable they instantly feel and how rapidly they begin to feel that chemistry.. that attraction. I’m not sure what it is about me or if that same feeling could be happening right now. That’s just how other’s saw me. What do you think?”
Gosh, I can’t imagine your date would ever suspect that you were basically just trying to hypnotize them:
“Have you ever fallen madly in love? As you remember that time when you fell madly in love,and you see a picture of it, if you were to where you see that picture NOW, where might you be pointing?
As you just keep thinking about that, space as I talk to you, simply allow my words to come from that space, imagine that you would really start to feel absolutely fantastic. …
In fact, you may notice somewhere inside you want to create an opening for my words. So if I were to say to you,‘Watch what happens as you put a picture of you and me together in a very special ,way, right there in that space,” notice how special that feels. …
If you could just think about what really turns you on (point to that place), it can allow you to COME … to the same conclusion over and over again … that what you really want is to create on opening for DESIRE … create a place for ecstasy … and focus on the energy that swells up inside you, don’t you feel that way now?” (… Enjoy the ride.)
I think he must have meant to say “enjoy the ride home, by yourself, because your date fled in terror when you started up with the creepy hypnotic patter.”
Here’s the start of Baggett’s “Instant Seduction” pattern:
Have you ever felt and Instant Magnetic Attraction with someone? (point to yourself.)
Maybe as you were looking at them and you started to LISTEN INTENTLY as you found every word fascinating.
Sometimes this JUST NATURALLY HAPPENS, it seems as if there is just a chord of light (gesture from your solar plexes to his/hers) connecting you with that special person.
And as that beam of light begins to GLOW and PULSATE with the strength of that connection, it just seems NATURAL that they are BEING PULLED CLOSER AND more intimate as time passes. … .
Why bother going through a weird NLP seminar manual that’s nearly 20 years old? Well, partly because it’s funny. Partly because this guy actually made a living teaching this crap to people. People PAID HIM MONEY to learn to turn every conversation into an odd, unnatural, offputting attempt at hypnosis.
But what makes this relevant here is that this is where the pickup artist phenomenon came from. And a lot of this nonsense is still embedded, as it were, in “pickup artist” techniques today. PUAs today may not use actual hypnotic suggestions to con their targets, but they still use a lot of the old NLP lingo, and they’re still obsessed with manipulation and mind games.
It’s the PUAs, not Anita Sarkeesian, who are the real heirs to Bart Baggett.
ALL HAIL THE HYPNOTOADS!