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Anton LaVey impersonator Davis Aurini makes a "film," and it's worse than you could possibly imagine

[NOTE: The original video on Davis Aurini’s YouTube channel was taken down shortly after the post went up. So I’ve embedded the version that is, as of this moment, up on the director’s YouTube channel. I”d recommend that you download this for your permanent collection.]

Ok, so I’ve been working on a post about the latest ridiculous doings of our friends Davis Aurini and JordanOwen42 — the not-so-dynamic duo who’ve been desperately begging for money to make their Totally Serious documentary about how evil Anita Sarkeesian is. But then I watched this, and it’s too good not to post on its own.

This is Lust in the Time of Heartache, a short “philosophical” film written and produced, and  just posted on teh Interwebs, by Mr. Aurini. I’m pretty sure it’s not supposed to be a comedy, but I was laughing at it from beginning to end.

There’s nothing about this film that’s not terrible and ridiculous, from the choice of fonts in the title sequence to the names of the characters as revealed in the closing credits.

Where even to start in criticizing this mess? The, er, “acting?” The pretentious, pseudo-philosophical voiceover, delivered by Mr. Aurini himself? The shrill, frantic — yet somehow also meandering — music that plays almost continuously from beginning to end? The ludicrously unconvincing fight choreography? The ill-fitting suits? The evo psych? The dawning recognition that this whole thing is meant to depict how Aurini sees himself in our “fallen” world?

The fact that this ten minute film credits a “parkour consultant?”

I’m going to borrow a couple of lines from Pauline Kael’s famous review of the legendarily stinky 1970 film Song of Norway because they offer a pretty fair assessment of this one as well:

The movie is of an unbelievable badness. … You can’t get angry at something this stupefying; it seems to have been made by trolls.

She means “under the bridge”-style trolls, not the modern kind.

Oh, and the sound is awful, too. NOTE: Dialogue is supposed to be louder than the background noises.

Anyway, just watch it. It’s only ten minutes long. And definitely stay for the final credits. You’ll see why.

But hey, don’t take my word for it. Read this glowing review, from some dude on YouTube:

Excellent writing that encompasses the transitions from one cinematic style to the next. At first I was concentrating on the technical problems and lackluster performances, however, after about 5 mins in, the pacing kicked up a notch. Well done, sir.
Well done, indeed!

 

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deniseeliza
deniseeliza
6 years ago

Boo, I clicked the play button and it said the video is private.

Phoenician in a time of Romans
Phoenician in a time of Romans
6 years ago

Lust in the Time of Heartache

Hey!

Michael X Dofang (@Dofang)

He made it private. Has he developed self-awareness?

House Mouse Queen
6 years ago

He made the vid private. Always d/l their shit before you post about it. It’s been a rule of mine so that when they get called out and then try to hide it I can reupload the video on another site.

hellkell
hellkell
6 years ago

It’s private. Guess Anton LaPUA doesn’t want us to see his cinematic mast…urbation.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

Can Gabriel García Márquez’s estate sue him for this shit? Talk about bringing someone’s name into disrepute.

magnesium
magnesium
6 years ago

Made private already?

Wait, is this a copy of it?

http://youtu.be/uJSGc2ylZe4

magnesium
magnesium
6 years ago

The credits suggest it is. I’d download it, but I’m too lazy to find Youtube downloading software.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

Mr C went to film school with a few incompetent and yet comically pretentious fools like this. It’s one of the reasons he quit. Having to sit through their, um, efforts in class was just too painful.

I gave up a couple of minutes in, it was just too boring.

DEQ
DEQ
6 years ago

I believe this is the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJSGc2ylZe4

I have to say, the fight choreography really is something to behold. It really is nice of the villains to attack his sai, so that he can just hold it out while they bang their swords and sticks against it. I wonder what he’d do if they attacked… oh, I don’t know, any other target.

hellkell
hellkell
6 years ago

That was absolutely awful.

Viro Dianc
Viro Dianc
6 years ago

WHAT MEN NEED TO KNOW:

You are disposable.

Women make the future slaves.

Whatever power you have as a man will be stripped from you via laws and policies.

It’s never OK to hit a woman in self-defense. Self-protection for men = self immolation.

Only your wallet matters. You as an individual don’t count.

You’re a disposable resource.

“My body, my choice” = men’s wallets and men’s future destruction.

You have zero reproductive rights.

If there’s a war, the patriarchy becomes the most important entity in existence.

Women like to marry up. Men are worthless if they don’t present an opportunity for women to marry up.

If there’s a war, feminism evaporates.

To overcome men’s natural strengths, they must be emasculated via policy and law.

Marriage for men now equals self-immolation. Only the most desperate pour the gas and strike the match. The rest suffer in agonizing silence. They’re neither seen nor heard. They die a slow, brutally painful death of deep regret.

Most women are narcissistic sociopaths. If they don’t appear that way to start out, marry them and then give them a reason to be disappointed. Ever wonder why a woman can’t pass a mirror without reflecting upon herself? Now you know.

It has been said that the surest way to a happy marriage is to always make sure your wife is happy. Translation: Kiss her butt and you’ll either end up divorced or wish you were dead.

Our society thrives on the disposability of men. What happens when men choose not to be disposable? Ever more misandric laws and policies. Women make the future slaves.

You’ve all read it before, but I’ll post it again for posterity:

The worlds shortest fairy tale – Once upon a time, a prince proposed to a princess. The princess refused the proposal. The prince lived happily ever after.

brooked
6 years ago

This is the end state of our materialist faith, Capitalism turned innovators into land rappers and socialism turned charity into oppression.

Is the cartoonishly pleasant city they’re filming in Canadian? It’s amusing to listen to his florid pseudo-existential voice-overs describe all this doom and despair in a place that looks completely safe and very comfortable.

Puddleglum
6 years ago

Lol, if you can’t watch the whole thing, at least watch it from 6:40 – 7:22 for the not quite synced sound effects. Who knew nunchaku sounded like helicopters in the distance, but only some of the time?

Puddleglum
6 years ago

Yay, a troll that knows how to use paragraphs! Not that I read it, but still! Paragraphs!

BreakfastMan
BreakfastMan
6 years ago

@Viro Dianc: Holy shit, that is some bad trolling. Seriously, this is possibly the most pitiful attempt to troll I have ever seen. 0/10, would not be trolled again.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

What men need to know – if you get involved with the MRM you might end up like this Viro guy, running around posting confusing, off-topic rants on feminist blogs and calling it activism, and being totally confused as to why nobody seems to want to be around you.

Don’t be like Viro, kids.

brooked
6 years ago

Our society thrives on the disposability of men. What happens when men choose not to be disposable? Ever more misandric laws and policies. Women make the future slaves.

U mad bro?

In all seriousness, this is gibberish.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

What’s a land rapper? Do they dress in map of the world sweaters and rap about ecologically friendly farming techniques?

Puddleglum
6 years ago

Is the cartoonishly pleasant city they’re filming in Canadian?

Since the guy put down a Canadian $20, I googled the name of the deli in the opening shot; it’s Calgary.

cloudiah
6 years ago

WHAT WOMEN NEED TO KNOW:

Men, like vampires, are not reflected in mirrors.

vaiyt
6 years ago

@Viro Dianc

Puddleglum
6 years ago

What’s a land rapper?

This gets my vote:

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
6 years ago

I got bingo on the MRA Bingo card!

miri
miri
6 years ago

Trolling? Is that what that was?

LBT
LBT
6 years ago

OH GOD THEY’RE EVEN WEARING THE HATS. I apologize on behalf of all men everywhere, and send my condolences to Canada.

RE: Viro Dianc

WHAT MEN NEED TO KNOW:

Oh goody! Oh goody! What wisdom will you bestow on me today, mister?

You are disposable.

🙁

RE: cassandrakitty

What’s a land rapper? Do they dress in map of the world sweaters and rap about ecologically friendly farming techniques?

They should hang out with M&M, the candy rapper.

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
6 years ago

LBT
“WHAT MEN NEED TO KNOW:

Oh goody! Oh goody! What wisdom will you bestow on me today, mister?

You are disposable.”
🙁

I’m sorry but I lol’d at that XD

brooked
6 years ago

@Puddlegum

Thanks for the detective work. Anton LaPUA doesn’t seem to be aware that hard-boiled narrative works better in seedy noir cityscapes that don’t have super-cute colorful retro diners.

grumpycatisagirl
grumpycatisagirl
6 years ago

Did Viro Dianc say one thing that isn’t already on the bingo?

hellkell
hellkell
6 years ago

Viro: you are a ridiculous person. Don’t be a ridiculous person.

magnesium
magnesium
6 years ago

Ever wonder why a woman can’t pass a mirror without reflecting upon herself?

You can look for the rest of your life, pal, but you’re never going to find the vampire woman of your dreams.

deniseeliza
deniseeliza
6 years ago

I have to say, the fight choreography really is something to behold. It really is nice of the villains to attack his sai, so that he can just hold it out while they bang their swords and sticks against it. I wonder what he’d do if they attacked… oh, I don’t know, any other target.

I also enjoyed that fine choreography. A riveting fight scene, truly.

hellkell
hellkell
6 years ago

I will be in Soviet Canuckistan next weekend. I can’t wait.

grumpycatisagirl
grumpycatisagirl
6 years ago

Women make the future slaves.

Actually, maybe this. WTF does that sentence mean? Viro wrote it twice.

Tasha Batsford
6 years ago

It took me a few minutes to work out who the voiceover reminded me of …comment image

Just me?

Shaenon
6 years ago

That’s it. I’m going to Kickstart a documentary where I follow these two around and film them making their documentary. They are too adorable for words. And they have access to nunchuks.

Title: The Sarkeesian Effect Effect.

Tagline: “As long as your heart beats, you still have blood to bleed.”

Puddleglum
6 years ago

WHAT TABLETOP CALL OF CTHULHU PLAYERS NEED TO KNOW:

Never be the slowest runner in your party.

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
6 years ago

Grumpycatisagirl
I don’t know what that mean or any of these mean. Could it be my lady brain?

Whatever power you have as a man will be stripped from you via laws and policies.

If there’s a war, the patriarchy becomes the most important entity in existence.

If there’s a war, feminism evaporates.

To overcome men’s natural strengths, they must be emasculated via policy and law.

J.J
J.J
6 years ago

Viro, that was nonsensical, off topic, and TR;DL material. And you’re not being brave by running here, barfing in the thread, and leaving. It’s the online equivalent of ringing the doorbell and running away. Troll fail.

And the video doesn’t work for me, but I don’t think anything besides some unintentional hilarity. Yes/no?

Puddleglum
6 years ago

@Shaenon, or would that be the Sarkeesian Sarkeesian Effect?

Bogdan
Bogdan
6 years ago

Wow… Anton LeFail’s video shows nothing about how humans actually behave. What kind of warped fantasy land do these morons live in?

Salty
Salty
6 years ago

Shaenon: But then who would provide us with our daily dose of silly cartoons?

sparky
sparky
6 years ago

Aww, Aurini’s trying so hard to be all gritty and noir-ish.

Most women are narcissistic sociopaths. If they don’t appear that way to start out, marry them and then give them a reason to be disappointed. Ever wonder why a woman can’t pass a mirror without reflecting upon herself? Now you know.

Wait, what? Why would you intentionally marry someone you thought was a “narcissistic sociopath?” Why would you intentionally do something to disappoint your spouse? Why is self-reflection a bad thing?

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
6 years ago

Grumpycatisagirl

Oh I think I know now. “Women make the future slaves” as in butt power, power of paint and powder, creep shaming and sperm jacking.

grumpycatisagirl
grumpycatisagirl
6 years ago

Feminism must be evaporating constantly, I guess.

Syburi
6 years ago

Who makes men disposable? Patriarchy treats men as disposable.

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
6 years ago

Grumpycatisagirl
Well that happens when it’s over the heat of the patriarchy

Syburi
6 years ago

@Sparky – That troll the other night who was going on about how people want to be worshipped and what’s wrong with that? He sounded like a narcissistic sociopath.

“Marry them and give them a reason to be disappointed.” Kinda Freudian. Meh. It’s all just cut and paste MRA talking points. None of it makes any sense.

grumpycatisagirl
grumpycatisagirl
6 years ago

It sounds like zie is saying women are going to be slaves in the future, but that would seemingly contradict zir whole “thesis” (so to speak). Either that, or women are enslaving the future. If only I knew where to start with enslaving the future . . .

Fibinachi
6 years ago

WHAT TABLETOP CALL OF CTHULHU PLAYERS NEED TO KNOW:

Never be the slowest runner in your party.

Oh.

I thought the rule was: “Always reserve 1 bullet in your gun so you can disable another teammate, leaving a convenient screaming distraction in the hallways behind you”

I’m the slowest runner! And that’s okay. I don’t need to outrun them, I just have to outrun you.
[KNEECAP]
[FLEE]

Also I just found out there’s a call of cthulhu line set in imperial rome. Now I have to find a copy of Call of Cthulhu: Invictus.

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