@Ally: have you seen method 2 here? http://www.wikihow.com/Measure-Your-Bra-Size

I got resized again today because of the surgery etc, and the cup size really depends on the brand, sadly. My new bras (no underwire because it’s been digging into a sensitive area, post surgery) are D. I have never been a D, and I doubt I would be a D in anything other than this brand. I was a B until my 30s.

It looks like all you need is a tape measure. You’ll still need cup size for a sports bra too. You want it to fit and feel comfortable. HTH.

When you see a brand you like, let us know and no doubt others here wear that brand and can advise whether the cup size runs small, normal, or large. I wish I was there, because bra fitting should be a fun activity (lots of colours and styles!) and I’m sure there are ways to organise sales times and methods to reduce anxiety, but still get the fun of trying them on before you buy – and seeing what they look like on.

Of course, for me I buy boring ones with no lacy bits or pattern because I hate stuff showing under my clothes – especially for work.

I really like cotton, it breathes. Nylon doesn’t, so I find that itchy and uncomfortable. For the same reason, I prefer cotton underpants as well.

@WWTH: borrowing money off your parents is fine, I’ve done it, lots of people I know have done it. Let’s face it, rich people who don’t borrow off their parents have enormous advantages that the rest of us don’t, and some rich people also borrow of their parents.

Re resentment: this is an emotion and so it is difficult to say that an emotion is ever “wrong”. The resentment will be coming from thoughts and beliefs that you have, that will be the basis for your resentment. It is possible to have “wrong” thoughts and beliefs in the sense that these can be maladaptive. However, you are a smart person, and it is entirely feasible (and very likely) that your thoughts/beliefs are accurate and therefore your resentment is entirely “justified”.

Phrasing your sentence as “Is it wrong…” suggests that you feel uncomfortable with feeling resentment, regardless of what caused the emotion. Powerful emotions can be upsetting, and having negative emotions against one’s parents can be very uncomfortable as well. I’m not sure that you want to, or need to, or even that it is wise to do so when depressed, but you could examine those facets if you’re interested and if you think it would be useful to you and if you feel emotionally and cognitively safe doing so.

I’ve been depressed enough that I have attempted suicide a couple of times, and I remember finding it really difficult to get out of bed and be interested in things. It is energy sapping in a way that I would call it fatiguing (rather than simple tiredness, fatigue is longer duration and has a deeper negative affect on functioning).

So don’t feel guilty or beat yourself up over the effects of depression. I get so cross that physical disability is treated as “real” disability but mind issues are treated as something to get over fast by many people. Any form of depression can be completely debilitating for the person, and should be taken seriously. Any suggestions from people who think you can pull yourself up by the bootstraps should be ignored as coming from people who (1) have no real understanding of the problem and (2) don’t bother to think about how their words will come across before they open their mouths.

Hugs and kitties if you want them. Both come with extra cat fur.

@WWTH: it is their choice to be disappointed. They could choose to reframe their perceptions so that an alternative and happier outcome replaces the disappointment. I’m assuming that your parents are intelligent too – this doesn’t work for everyone, and you may have tried it already, but have the three of you tried family therapy? Sorry if this sounds like I’m telling you to suck eggs, as I don’t know very much of your background.

Venting here:

So yesterday after my radiotherapy I mentioned to one of the radiation therapists that I was having issues getting to sleep and staying asleep and could I see the doctor that day instead of waiting to see them today (I get the doctor once a week). She said no, because the doctor only deals with side effects of treatment. At the time I was like (inside my head) what the fuck, this is a side effect of treatment, but thought okay, will wait until Friday, the scheduled day.

I had driven into the appointment because I’d only had 4 hours of broken sleep and wanted just to go home after the appointment and sleep. The treatment makes you tired, but not in the first week like I have just finished – my problem is the insomnia that has started.

So, today I got to see the doctor after my treatment session. This was a registrar, and a new one, so there isn’t any continuity of registrars through treatment. I had a list of stuff to tell him, like I was tender to the touch in particular areas – some areas that had been tender were still tender and a bit worse and I had a couple of new areas that were tender too. He was like, stop taking NSAIDs and take paracetamol (acetaminophen for the Americans). I don’t take paracetamol very well, so I’ll just fucking stop taking everything.

And I mentioned the insomnia, and how it was problems both getting to sleep and staying asleep, and how it had only started on Sunday night. And how I was getting less and less sleep every night, and it didn’t matter what time I went to bed, and how I was waking up bolt awake twice every night. Then I mentioned how I went home on Wednesday early from work and went to bed for a sleep, so I only worked 3.5 hours on Wednesday although I did almost full days on Monday and Tuesday. And that I had yesterday off work so I could sleep after treatment. And he was like, well these sleeps during the day are probably causing the problem. And I said, but I only started these sleeps during the day on Wednesday, after I was getting less and less sleep.

Do doctors just not fucking listen? I fucking know that I can cause sleep issues if I sleep during the day, the only reason I’m doing it is because I am in so much sleep debt from night that I am dog tired all the time. I got down to only 5 hours of broken sleep before I started doing daytime sleeps. Why does the fucking doctor think I am an idiot? How does he expect me to work in a job where I give mathematical advice etc on fucking 4-5 hours sleep per night?

Fucking fuck fuck fuck.

Thanks contrapangloss, hopefully I’ll have a good sleep tonight. I haven’t napped or slept today, and I’m tired to the bone. The problem with that, as you’ll all have experienced, is that over-tiredness causes insomnia too. /sighs