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Creepy comment of the day: If men can’t get “the steady love and wild sex of a valuable young girl,” naturally they’ll start shooting people.

Banana slug: A better role model for horny humans than bonobos?

Banana slug: A better role model for horny humans than bonobos?

Sometimes I hunt the misogyny, sometimes it wanders up right up to me and says hello.

Today’s post is an example of the latter. Below, a slightly edited comment that someone left for me this morning. It’s a response to a post of mine about a dreadful post on Return of Kings in which a fellow calling himself Billy Chubbs argued, with absolutely no evidence, that a recent high school shooter was driven to murder because of his “probable sexual frustration,” Chubbs went on to argue that young women are “selfish” because they don’t have sex with guys they’re not attracted to.

Anyway, my new commenter – posting under the name “whogoesthere?” – thinks that I and the other commenters here were being too hard on Chubbs’ “very good argument.” And so he deposited this giant rant, which in many ways is even scarier than Chubbs’ original.

He’s a tad verbose, so I’ve trimmed out some stuff that isn’t relevant to his general, er, thesis. And I’ve also taken the liberty of adding a few paragraph breaks and bolding a few of the best (i.e. worst) bits.

When men don’t get the women they want they turn to violence.

Not a good start here, because this just isn’t true. In this case, the phrase “not all men” is, for once, appropriate. Most men don’t get violent when they’re turned down.

This is established all over the animal kingdom and offers a good example about how it applies to humans, that snotty girls who keep their sexual treasures to all but a few males cause the remaining males to snap. …

Animals do all sorts of things that humans don’t do, and we can’t always learn from their behavior or assume that it relates to our own lives.

Or maybe the Evo Psych crew is just looking at the wrong animals. When banana slugs can’t find a partner to have sex with, they simply fertilize themselves. There’s a lesson here, I think, for the angry incels of the world: you can’t always get what you want, and when you can’t, sex with yourself is better than murder.

High school is a massively sexually charged winner take all environment. … Today’s high school is basically an ongoing audition for a porno video and the guys and girls who don’t make the cut can only sit at home and masturbate.

wat

It’s demeaning and hits a major blow to a person’s sexual identity to not be invited to frolic with the beautiful people.

Somehow most people, regardless of gender, manage to survive even if they’re not frolicking with Charlize Theron and/or Channing Tatum.

I’m sorry but almost no men go on wild shooting rampages if they have a beautiful female in their keep.

In their keep?! Also, no. Charles Manson was surrounded by beautiful young women. Yet he orchestrated multiple grisly murders.

The only guys that do so are bank robbers and thieves, generally guys at a later stage of life more fixated on money.

wat

Human beings naturally assess the amount of sex going around them and judge themselves in relationship to the amount and type of sex others are getting.

You know, you can’t actually tell how much and what kind of sex someone is having just by looking at them. Yes, there will always be people in the world having more sex with you. And some of these people are having sex with people you would probably like to have sex with. There are also people who are smarter than you, funnier than you, who can play chess or kickbox better than you, who have hundreds or thousands of times more money than you do.

That’s life. Life isn’t fair.

This makes sense because from a reproductive standpoint sex is coveted, and sex with beautiful thin, young women are the most coveted. Being the first to spoil these young women sexually is viewed reproductively as a guarantee of parentage, thus this is why males instinctively covet and burn with passion for these females.

Ah, yes, it was only a matter of time until the creepy pedo-justifying Evo Psych assfacts made their appearance. Not all men “burn with passion” in their pants for virginal high school girls.

This is why we have “morality” which is in its essence is a promise not to flaunt or indulge in sex moreso than the lowest man or woman in your tribe. This is what is meant when people say “morality went out the window.” They mean someone with more sexual prowess is openly indulging in sex and broadcasting it to stimulate the jealousy of the underclasses.

I’m pretty sure that’s not what people mean when they say “morality went out the window.”

This teen killed people cause he thought that beautiful girls were out of reach. The high school environment merely rubbed it in his face. Yes drugs to treat ADD might’ve eroded many of the impulse control functions in the teen, but the rage against the high school was still the gasoline.

[citation needed]

He might’ve had a picture or two taken with a girl next to him, but oftentimes those high school girls lie and simply eat up the male’s offerings without granting sexual access, but grant it to a random stud.

How dare young women choose who to have sex with, and who not to!

I’m not saying the girl he killed deserved it, it’s only that when you are in that frame of mind you cannot tell who is having more sex than others and you simply fill in the gaps with rage.

Wait, so if she had turned him down he would have been justified in killing her?

The beautiful girl simply represented everything that the teen couldn’t get. The steady love and wild sex of a valuable young girl.

Yeah, I think you’re confusing high school with porn again. His rampage lasted roughly a minute and a half. He shot her because she was there.

All the other theories posted on this site seem comical, self-righteous and weirdly off-point. It’s like you’re assessing the situation as an asexual senior citizen or righteous prude.

Not a lot of “prudes” here. Just people who find the “women need to have sex with ‘nice guys’ or these ‘nice gys’ will kill you all” to be a somewhat problematic argument.

Generally men want sex with young thin beauties who validate their existence.

Some men do. But most men, among those who are sexually attracted to women, aren’t as neurotically fixated on this small slice of the female demographic – women in their teens and early twenties who are somehow both virginal and sexually “wild” – as manosphere men seem to be. And most people don’t base their entire  self-worth on whether or not they’re having sex with beautiful people.

Some men prefer women older than them. Some like women who are fat. Plenty of men don’t fixate on a particular physical type and are attracted to all sorts of different women. Believe it or not, whogoesthere, there are lots of men who are more interested in what’s in a woman’s head than they are in whether or not she matches up with some particular checklist of physical attributes.

If society removes all of the social pathways to attaining such a beauty, such as making prostitution illegal, increasing shame for men who seek sex, rewarding females and males called manginas who identify and mock the sex seekers and so on… this will lead to depression in men and all of the behaviors surrounding it, including shootings. Sounds pretty much like a logical line of reasoning to me.

And that’s the problem. It’s not actually a logical line of reasoning at all. It’s more like a sort of blackmail.

Men don’t kill women because they can’t have “the steady love and wild sex of a valuable young girl.” Sometimes men kill women because they feel entitled to have sex with these “valuable young girls” and become bitter and enraged when they can’t find a “valuable young girl” who agrees with them on this particular point.

It’s not the lack of “sexual access” that’s the problem. It’s the notion that your desire for “sexual access” means more than the right of that person to say “no.” It’s the notion that society has done you wrong because you can’t (at least at the moment) get laid. It’s the idea that your desire to have sex with a particular kind of woman somehow trumps the right of other people to live.

I mean, what the fucking fuck.

Oh, by the way, there’s no evidence that the shooter in question – Karl Halverson Pierson – was motivated by sexual frustration. His intended target was the school librarian, who is also the school’s debate coach. Pierson was obsessed with debate, and had some sort of grudge against the coach.

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Posted on June 22, 2014, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 2,219 Comments.

  1. Katz, my Italian friends are partial to ‘who pissed in your Cheerios?’, which has a certain poetry to it…

    My mom always asked, “Who peed in your Post Toasties?” but I think the breakfast cereal component is flexible.

    Now THAT is the hive mind at work! This is exactly the sort of thing I’m looking for. (Although I don’t think Russians eat a lot of breakfast cereal…”Who pissed on your pancakes” doesn’t work quite as well…)

  2. Who pissed on your blini?

  3. The best sex is with people who share your tastes, understand your reactions, and communicate clearly. Compatibility is about being able to read each other as much as it’s about similar desires. Undfreeland seems unlikely to be skilled at reading people in bed, given his demonstrated inability to do so in other contexts.
    So yeah, I can believe that sex for him is a chore, because he’s terrible at it.

  4. Argenti Aertheri

    EVERY millimeter? Does that include the skin under the inside corner of her left middle toe? XD (I had to)

    Katz — count me among those fond of “who pissed in your [breakfast item]?”

    As far as troll boy’s lack of orgasm, it’s the ONE thing I’m not really comfortable mocking him for. Granted, in his case I doubt it’s medical or anything, but yeah, not really cool to mock that one.

    Now the troll boy, next time you’re in a room with clown loaches, turn on the TV where they can see it and wait for something to happen on it that involves clear movement and lots of contrast. Watch as some mimic the movement, and others seem to not give a flying (swimming) fuck.

    (Guys! My 55g? I’m getting loaches again!!!)

  5. Who pissed on your blini?

    XD

  6. YoullNeverGuess

    Life. Life is not life. We are naught but collapsed quantum waves that we lug from one illusion of space to another. Nothing matters. Yet, even nothing is something. Our inability to grasp the full nature of reality is God’s cruel joke, or it would be if God existed. All that exists is the cold, silent, uncaring void from which we came and to which we much all inevitably return.

    Sex is boring, ThePrinceNietscheSatreMillImBetterThanEveryoneElsePleasePayAttentionToMeImSoLonelyHipsterIrony.

  7. Argenti Aertheri

    “Who shat on your pancakes?” Idk, gets the point across.

  8. As far as troll boy’s lack of orgasm, it’s the ONE thing I’m not really comfortable mocking him for. Granted, in his case I doubt it’s medical or anything, but yeah, not really cool to mock that one.

    Sorry, you are right that having trouble orgasming is not a nice thing to make fun of.

    FWIW, I didn’t read that as him having difficulty orgasming, I interpreted it as him requiring a normal amount of difficulty to orgasm but finding the process really unpleasant for some reason.

  9. As far as troll boy’s lack of orgasm, it’s the ONE thing I’m not really comfortable mocking him for. Granted, in his case I doubt it’s medical or anything, but yeah, not really cool to mock that one.

    I’m not remotely mocking him.

    Or rather, I’m certainly mocking him for being so oblivious that he can’t see the major advantages of being the polar opposite of a premature ejaculator (at least to his partner, if not to him), but that’s mocking him for his lack of insight rather than any actual disability on his part.

  10. Who put sandpaper on your toilet seat?

  11. @Argenti

    That’s awesome, my friend’s tank had loaches (the eely looking ones) and they were some of the more active members of that little ecosystem.

  12. Yay for loaches!

  13. katz:

    OT: Does anyone know any funny idioms for “Why are you acting so irritable?” Like “panties in a twist” but preferably something ungendered.

    Fly in your ointment? Bee in your bonnet?

    undfreeland: I really don’t care. My point was that your a creepy asshole who’s waiting for his grandparents to die so be can inherit their money and sees women as interchangeable fucktoys.

  14. Troll doesn’t know that humans are animals and that nonhuman animals have personalities. Add it to the long list of things he doesn’t know.

    As for having difficulty reaching orgasm, it can be a problem for male bodied folks too. It has nothing to do with the hotness of their partners, but leave it to a babyman to project his issues as a failing in others.

  15. Who put skittles in your m&m’s?

  16. What you’ve just told us is that you are a truly dreadful lay.

    Duckbunny’s comment was directly under my last one, and for a moment I was bewildered. “Why? Because I posted a couple of photos of Louise Brooks?”

    Then I scrolled up and saw that somebody’s comment had come out of the moderation wilderness. And suddenly all was clear.

  17. I definitely read him not as an ED case, but as a ‘I can’t believe I’m lowering myself to this’ case.

    If it’s ED, or associated, then yeah, you’re right that mocking that is uncool. Undfreeland, if you have ED or suchlike, my apologies.

    If you’re just a young fool who can’t imagine how sex with anyone but a gorgeous dame could possibly be fun, than nope. No sorry feelings.

  18. Jay Smooth calls his inner voice the little hater, mostly when referring to what prevents us from creative output. That’s kind of how I think of mine too.

    Mine is basically some kind of in loco parentis fear monger that refuses to acknowledge that I’m an adult, and only accountable to myself (and to a lesser degree the family I’ve created). I just started actively working to shut it down over the last year or so. It’s slow going sometimes, as I’m sure you know all too well :)

  19. Sorry Flying Mouse! That was definitely not directed at you.

  20. I know, duckbunny! I just thought it was hilarious (once I figured it out) and wanted to share.

  21. Argenti Aertheri

    Wetherby — lol, true enough! TMI ALERT! My current lover (would probably turn red and throw a pillow at me for saying this!) takes *forever* to finish, because he’s spent so long practicing waiting until his partner’s done.

    But yeah, please nobody take that as me being all scolding, his inability to be a decent lover has little to do with his orgasming, or lack thereof. Could take five seconds, could never happen, could take exactly as long as wanted, he’d still be terrible — that whole “interchangeable hole into which semen goes” thing.

    TL:DR — he terrible, but his time-to-orgasm is only relevant in how dumb his views on sex are.

    Piratejennie — weather loaches? They’re really nifty, supposedly the original pet fish since they’re pretty hardy and, well, predict (sense actually, but whatever) the weather. Having a fish in a bowl get all crankypants when a storm is coming is definitely useful. The cories sorta do it, but they’re not so good about the not calming down before the end is in sight thing.

    Clowns, synos (haven’t picked a species yet, might go for the generic “upside down catfish”), and an elephant nose. If I’m completely restarting the tank, I’m getting wtf I want! (That just leaves a bichir and axolotl…both need species tanks and I lack the room…though…I need to talk to my brother as we’d discussed putting “mudkips” in his room and found some for sale and I do have equipment…)

    Axolotls, infinitely more interesting than trolly.

  22. But, then again, some of ya’ll live in such a state of delusion that you believe ANIMALS have personalities. It’s called anthropomorphizing. It’s childish.

    I would stay and make an eloquent rebuttal of this preposterous claim, complete with citations and lots of mature-sounding words. But I have to get my dog into her top hat and monocle, stat. She’s due at the Club for whist and brandy, and it takes forever to fluff her favorite cravat just-so. I’m lucky that it’s forecast to rain today; that means we can skip the spats at least.

  23. I just googled clown loaches – they’re adorable! I love learning about new animals.

  24. Now animals are interchangeable too? Why is it that Darrow greets visitors at the door while Dracarys is weary and hides in the bathroom?

    Why haven’t I ever heard Darrow hiss while Dracarys hisses every time she’s nervous or angry?

    Not being a devoted furrinati servant. One more WarrenTheon is sad and pathetic.

  25. Buttercup Q. Skullpants

    It’s so cute when people think they’re people.

  26. Mine is basically some kind of in loco parentis fear monger that refuses to acknowledge that I’m an adult,

    OMG, I have one of those. It isn’t one of the fun ones either, like ‘eating sugary cereal whilst watching Saturday morning cartoons’ non-adult. It’s one of the ‘you’ll never be good enough, who cares that you’re 30, own your own home, graduated from 8 years of Uni, can hold down a good job and pay all your own bills? You’re still a child!’ kind. Like my dad, in in my head, judging me, forever. Like, I haven’t mowed my grass in almost a month, clearly I’m a failure at adulthood. -_-;

    As per the orgasm thing, since we’re sharing, here’s my bit of sex related TMI.

    I orgasm fairly easily, and so does my boyfriend, in fact we would finish so soon early in our relationship that sometimes, I wasn’t fully satisfied. He was worried that he wasn’t lasting long enough, and the anxiety made it difficult for him to get an erection at all for a while. Fast forward two years and many many very verbal and open minded sexy times later, now we have a pattern of getting the first climax out of the way quickly, then having ‘foreplay’ and other kinky sexy times of the non PIV variety for as long as it takes for him to be ready again, then we climax again! And the second time is longer and much better. The result? 1-2 hour long sexcapades. The only problem is we don’t get to do that as often as we like since we both work full time and don’t live together :(

    People have all kinds of different sexual reactions and reaction times. The important part is having a partner (and being the kind of partner) who is willing to experiment, work on things and find something that works for both (or all!) of you.

  27. Axolotls are more interesting than a lot of things.

  28. PS: I think I might be the only person in the history of sex ever who has uttered the phrase “Naturally variable refractory period!” mid coitus.

  29. I orgasm fairly easily, and so does my boyfriend, in fact we would finish so soon early in our relationship that sometimes, I wasn’t fully satisfied. He was worried that he wasn’t lasting long enough, and the anxiety made it difficult for him to get an erection at all for a while. Fast forward two years and many many very verbal and open minded sexy times later, now we have a pattern of getting the first climax out of the way quickly, then having ‘foreplay’ and other kinky sexy times of the non PIV variety for as long as it takes for him to be ready again, then we climax again! And the second time is longer and much better. The result? 1-2 hour long sexcapades. The only problem is we don’t get to do that as often as we like since we both work full time and don’t live together

    That sounds delightfully familiar. Particularly the “kinky sexy times of the non PIV variety” bit.

    Although we have a similar problem finding the time – in our case we do live together but we also have kids. So once a year we dump them on relatives and take an extended three-day break somewhere sophisticated and European where the ratio of sightseeing to shagging time is about 1:10.

  30. @Argenti

    I’m not sure, I looked at some pictures online and they were closest in appearance to Kuhli loaches. Weather loaches sound amazing, thanks for the new information I love learning about things like that.

    Axolotls are awesome.

    I haven’t been able to keep a tank in quite a while but visiting an aquarium is one of my favorite ways to spend an afternoon.

  31. My (small) understanding on this – it was only one part of one lecture years ago – that the sorts of outcomes people have been listing as “maybe” sexual dysfunctions probably aren’t. Basically, if you and your partner/s are satisfied and getting what you need/want out of the contact, then there is no sexual dysfunction.

    The main example I remember we were given was a guy seeing one of the clinical psychologists for premature ejaculation because he felt was was too quick. In the therapy session it was established that both he and his partner orgasmed fast, both were getting what they wanted out of sex, and the psychologist explained that there was no dysfunction, and gave him some information about methods to delay male orgasm if he and his partner wanted to try them.

    From this, the key message I received is that context is everything.

    And it was extremely difficult to write all this without using a single word that could be punned.

  32. ‘you’ll never be good enough, who cares that you’re 30, own your own home, graduated from 8 years of Uni, can hold down a good job and pay all your own bills? You’re still a child!’

    Did our inner jerk voices come from the same manufacturer? Because mine seems to be the same model. I wonder if we can exchange them for the “cartoons and candy for breakfast!” one? I’ll have to ask Mom if she saved the receipt, though that will be pretty awkward :\

  33. I’ll have to ask Mom if she saved the receipt, though that will be pretty awkward :\

    I’m pretty sure it’s going to fall outside of the standard return policy, unless you bought the extended warranty? That shit is expensive though.

  34. And you’d be surprised how effective this can be, because a great many very attractive women have to put up with untold amounts of crude objectification and none-too-well-hidden assumptions that if she’s that good looking, her IQ must only be double-digit (you know, to provide “balance”).

    Or the guy doesn’t care about her intelligence one way or the other, and is just shopping for an attractive piece of human furniture to install in his apartment. Because that’s a totally fun and rewarding relationship.

  35. God, is the Undfreeland Show still on?

    But, then again, some of ya’ll live in such a state of delusion that you believe ANIMALS have personalities. It’s called anthropomorphizing. It’s childish.

    OK, at this point I’m pretty sure you’re trolling, but…

    It’s not “childish”, it’s observable fact, backed up by decades of research. Of course other animals don’t have the same emotions that humans do, or the same way of expressing them, but no personalities? That’s some 19th century bullshit right there.

    OT: Does anyone know any funny idioms for “Why are you acting so irritable?” Like “panties in a twist” but preferably something ungendered.

    “Sand in your underwear?” (a modified form of “sand in your vagina”). I also like “who pissed in your cornflakes?” (which I now see everyone else has suggested)

  36. “who got up on the wrong side of bed this morning” is a common one used in my family. I don’t know that it’s funny though.

  37. As far as troll boy’s lack of orgasm, it’s the ONE thing I’m not really comfortable mocking him for. Granted, in his case I doubt it’s medical or anything, but yeah, not really cool to mock that one.

    Nobody’s mocking his lack of it or how slow it might be: he’s being mocked for calling it a chore. It’s of a piece with his general attitude. If he’d simply said “I have trouble reaching orgasm” I doubt anyone would be mocking it.

  38. And for his apparently thinking that the only benefit of “better” sex (ie, a more attractive partner, for him) is that it’s over quicker.

    He literally wants to minimize the amount of sex he’s having.

  39. cassandrakitty

    Just got the the troll’s comment about not being able to come and haven’t read the rest of the thread yet, but given his general beliefs about women, obvious lack of real world experience socializing with women. and fondness for sitting around gaming till he passes out, I have a relevant data point! Very heavy porn use can cause erectile dysfunction. There’s research about this, how exposure to porn long before any actual sex life + very heavy use can lead to unrealistic ideas about women’s bodies and what we’re likely to want to do in bed, which leads to the men in this group being either unable to get it up in the presence of a woman who isn’t perfectly lit and posed for maximum hotness and/or photoshopped to achieve the same effect or not enjoying what sex they do have, and an escalating cycle in which unrealistic expectations lead to disappointment and inability to connect sexually with a partner leads to even heavier porn use leads to the unrealistic expectations being enforced and the problems with actual sex never being addressed. This kid really sounds like one of the guys caught in that loop. Normally I’d feel a bit sorry for someone like that, but in this case nah, he’s actively choosing his own shitty life path.

  40. He does not desire sex for it’s own sake, katz. He just needs to have it to prove he can gain the use of a beautiful young woman. The “bliss” is in acquiring something he thinks only special “quality” men have access to. It’s the status he’s chasing, not the sex.
    He doesn’t believe in love or that anyone can be trusted or known. People are all mercenaries and will drain your resources. Keep in mind that his own family do nothing but insult him and any girlfriends he brings home. (Which is fine by him, because he was just using her anyway. Then she just up and ran off with another man. It must have been for the other man’s looks or money. It couldn’t be that he wasn’t fooling her into thinking he had human feelings. *eyeroll*) He tells himself he’s so callow and emotionally stunted because he’s smart and realistic. It’s not fair that his dad expects him to work. Everything should come easy to him, because reasons. Even social justice is only as good as how it helps him in some way.

    The dude is a train wreck of bitterness and entitlement.

    So much so that he’s enjoyed derailing this thread to school us all on “The way things are” aka “Notes from his boner”.

  41. cassandrakitty,
    He may also just be another victim of the Kung Fu Death Grip method of stroking it.

    Ease up on your penis, unfreeland. You don’t actually have to choke the chicken. You can just pet it gently.

    You’re welcome.

  42. This is still going?

    Has und actually gotten entertaining yet?

  43. He literally wants to minimize the amount of sex he’s having.

    I’m sure there’s a completely rational and pragmatic explanation for this. One based unbiased social observations and careful use of economic theories and top psychological and anthropological research. It will be so objective and full of truth that we will gape in wonder, trying to figure out how a mere mortal could come up with something so unique and controversial.

    I’m sure that if we just wait, undfreeland will come and painstakingly explain every minute detail. He hasn’t let us down on that front so far.

  44. cassandrakitty

    Wanting to own a beautiful woman in much the same way you’d own a gorgeous car is totally compatible with feminism. Why wouldn’t it be?

    (Sums up thread as succinctly as possible for people just catching up now.)

  45. Well, trolly himself isn’t that entertaining, but FlyingMouse’s list about him was. I think that belongs in the Welcome Package right next to the Big Book O’ Learnin’, and everything Pell-related.

  46. YoullNeverGuess

    It also sounds like anhedonia, possibly caused by depression. It’s not uncommon for depressed young men to watch porn to the point that even masturbation is boring. Lulz troll or not, Und sounds pretty darn depressed. I’d feel bad for him, except he seems so invested in his depression as proof of his superiority. It is pretty sad, actually. This girl, who like, wasn’t even good enough for him got stolen away by his “friend.” I don’t totally understand how that happened, since he describes his buddy as being better-looking and having mad aloof game — according to Adam Smith, his buddy should have been able to score someone several points better. Sounds like there was some type of market failure, perhaps caused by a local pussy cartel?

    Maybe Und needs to practice actually feeling sad that he lost his gf. If only he weren’t above all human emotion.

  47. Pussy cartel

  48. Lea, love it! All cartels should be so cute.

    If underpantsboy is so pornified he can’t get it up/orgasm and finds sex with real live people a chore, hopefully he’ll give up and stay with his porn. Win all round, that way.

  49. RE: katz

    Does anyone know any funny idioms for “Why are you acting so irritable?”

    “What crawled up YOUR ass and died?” I’m positive I’ve used that one in stories before.

    RE: undfreeland

    I’m not too big on ethics

    We’ve noticed. You know, since you say shit like using your deceased relatives as a means to buy a Real Doll. I am so relieved to know you aren’t getting laid, undfreeland. SO RELIEVED nobody else has to deal with your conceited, ethically stunted ass.

    If I like what I’m seeing while I’m doing it, it’s going to easier to cum

    Dear god, child. I’m a rape survivor and I daresay I had better sex than you BEFORE I’d overcome that history! That’s depressing, yo.

    Like, (and this is for the rest of you Mammoths, not und) I think a lot of folks can agree I’ve gotten heavily schooled in Hard Knocks the past couple years. The homelessness, the unemployment, the poverty, the living in a closet with only two and a half walls…

    But here is the thing. I’m an optimist. I didn’t used to be. I was a pessimist, back when I had money and hadn’t left my family and lived in the METAPHORICAL closet, rather than the literal one. But then good things kept happening to me, and I converted.

    And not just because good things happened to me either. It’s a coping skill. I have to believe that everything will turn out okay eventually, or I would never have survived it to this age. (And even then, it was tough; during the Homeless Year, I found myself wondering whether I could endure long enough to see things get better.)

    So no, this kind of cynicism is not particularly realistic or impressive to me; I mostly see it in people who don’t have much to struggle over and are kind of afraid to change that, so they keep coasting along feeling meh and vaguely discontent without knowing what it is. Pretty common at the age und is at least portraying himself as.

  50. wewereemergencies

    Oh god und hasn’t been banned yet? On the one hand yay he hasn’t said anything more obnoxious, on the other hand damn we still have to put up with him.

    Anyway, how is life for my fellow mammotheers today?

  51. Hopefully David will check his inbox soon, wewereemergencies. He’s had at least two emails about this lackwit.

    I’m having a good day! I picked up a couple days’ casual work at my old workplace this week, and today my fellow worker said he’s bought a bit of cake ‘cos it’s my birthday tomorrow, which was such a sweet thing to do. Afternoon tea for the win!

  52. cassandrakitty

    Life is peachy! I’m drinking strawberry green tea and trying to decide what to make for dinner, and emailing Mr C cute things since he’s still at work. My cat is curled on the the kitchen table basking in a sunbeam, so it seems to be a good day for the Furrinati too.

  53. wewereemergencies

    Kittehs that does sound like a good day! I’m also looking for work atm (I’m on 5 weeks holidays so I thought I should get a job) but nothing’s come up yet. Happy birthday for tomorrow if I don’t “see” you!

    cassandrakitty life does indeed sound pretty great for you. I really want a Furrinati to cuddle – it’s cold (7C this morning) and sunny and I’m catching up on Orphan Black. What’s the time difference between here and your place? It’s 11:20 am here.

  54. “I won’t fall into the pitfalls of marriag etc, so I’ll have more disposable income when I’m older.”

    This is so stupid. There is a huge financial advantage to living in a dual income house. You get way more disposable income when you only pay half the bills, half the rent and half the cost of appliances.

  55. cassandrakitty

    It’s almost 6:30 pm here. Furrinati just woke up and came running over, apparently she thought I was doing something interesting.

  56. Doing well, thanks for asking, wewereemergencies!

    We had a lamb and mushroom ragout over polenta for dinner tonight. The kids weren’t crazy for the ragout, but they were glad to know that this the last of the lamb (it’t meal #3 from a roast I made on Sunday). I made the polenta in the oven, which was fun. It didn’t come out as creamy as when it’s done on the stove top, but it was miles easier. Fair trade-off IMO.

    Hopefully David will check his inbox soon, wewereemergencies. He’s had at least two emails about this lackwit.

    I think he’s on moderation now, so hopefully that will teach him to check himself before he wrecks himself and takes somebody down with him. If we’re still taking bids for a troll challenge, I vote that he provide us with an anthropomorphized animal picture. It will be entertaining for us and educational for him, since he doesn’t seem to grasp what the word means.

  57. Ye gods, my typos today. *this is the last* *it’s meal #3*

  58. undfreeland if you’ve provided anything it isn’t “insight” or “wisdom”, or anything you’ve said when you’re “telling it like it is (not)”, it’s perspective. Your awfulness is both a warning and a reassurance, despite my problems I’m nowhere near as hard up as you.

    I’m autistic, I’ve had to struggle with social cues and communication for my entire life. While I uually have no problems interacting with people now, I still find it seriously hard to build long-term relationships, I have real problems being proactive interpersonally, and I’m utterly lost in so many situations. It’s not helped that I’m miserable with names and faces, I simply cannot commit a person’s name or appearance to memory unless I’ve spent hours with them. I’ve spent my life as a chronically lonely person. I’ve never had a girlfriend, and really don’t process physical attractiveness, to the point that I’ve seriously questioned whether I’m asexual (and I’m still not sure the answer.) I genuinely feel bereft and directionless, without the drive or ambition to better myself or improve my lot in life. I spend most nights in bed grappling with my deep seated self-loathing. And when I look on you undfreeland I realize how much worse I could be.

    I see women as human beings. I recognize that the world is not all as it is within my solipsistic bubble. I have a family who loves and supports me. I have a few long-time friends I still interact with. I’m trying to be open, I’m trying to find an opportunity, I’m trying to do something with my life besides sit around playing games and browsing the internet all day. When I read about your miserable, awful, empty life I realize how many gifts I’ve been given. Hearing about your hollowness makes me realize just how far I really am from the bottom. Thanks undfreeland.

  59. Lamb and mushroom! Never had ragout or polenta, but lamb and mushroom sounds so good.

  60. wewereemergencies

    Well you were thinking about dinner (presumably) for you, rather then zie cassandrakitty. Can’t have that!

    Flying Mouse, yum! I had chicken and chorizo homemade pie a couple of nights ago and it was really good. And then a Thai red curry last night, which I get leftovers for lunch today! Winter means such good meals.

  61. So true about winter meals. One of the many things I dislike about summer is having to eat cold meals or at least ones that don’t mean heating up the kitchen. When you’re not a fan of salads, summer eating is a pain.

  62. wewereemergencies

    Summer does mean you get to spend more time with friends and family, in my experience, and there’s something to be said for simple meals on beautiful days outdoors. But yes summer foods are generally a lot more… bland I guess?

  63. cassandrakitty

    Would you eat Middle Eastern food if it isn’t spicy? There are tons of dishes from the Levant, North Africa, and so on that are intended to be eaten at room temperature that aren’t salads.

  64. I am…. so down with the pusseh cartel.

  65. Yeah, but getting them here’s one issue – Coles and Woolworths where I live have pretty limited ranges – and getting Mum to try them is another. If you think I’m unadventurous with food, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet!

  66. One of the many things I dislike about summer is having to eat cold meals or at least ones that don’t mean heating up the kitchen.

    I’m with you on that one, kittehserf! I’m not a fan of grilling, but I find myself firing the darned thing up a lot these days (I’m in the southern U.S.) just so that I can avoid having oven throw heat into the entire house. I got lucky tonight and was able to fit the polenta casserole into my toaster oven, which doesn’t radiate anywhere near as much. But I’ll do what I can to avoid too many salad dinners. I’m indifferent to them myself, and the rest of the family will revolt if they appear as a main dish more than once a week.

  67. I had chicken and chorizo homemade pie a couple of nights ago and it was really good. And then a Thai red curry last night, which I get leftovers for lunch today! Winter means such good meals.

    Those both sound amazing. I have shrimp curry on the menu in a few days, actually. I’m pretty excited about it, but I’m the only one. Everyone else just will just scarf the sticky rice. Maybe I can rope the little ones into helping me make dumplings or something this weekend, then they can eat some of those, too.

  68. @kim, sure getting married means you can split bills, but it also means i’d be getting billed for someone else’s materialist crap. New furniture, a house, eating out, new phones, vacations and other useless things that most other people like to waste money on. By myself, I can save.

  69. @kim, sure, I could split bills, but then I’d have so many more because of anther person’s materialistic garbage. A nice place, furniture, phones, eating out, vacations and other useless crap. Not to mention of they decide they want kids. Terrible idea

  70. We had salad for dinner. I made some toasted coconut “bacon bits” as experiment. They were a hit. We’ve been drinking cold mango green tea with mango nectar rather than coffee lately. Recently we found out that eldest daughter’s bf has nor been exposed to many different kinds of food, so we’ve been having tastings. He’s picked out various things to try. He’s been very brave. So far the only things he hasn’t liked are blue cheese and smoked oysters. He loves steamed bean buns.

    I’ve had my little kids making their own audiobooks. That way they read and they can hear themselves. It helps with their speech. Next we will go to the amphitheater and I’ll teach them to project. It’s funny, kids love to be loud, until they know you’re listening. We’ve been trying to expose them to different music, so they have some new CDs. So far Chuck Barry seems to be their favorite. He’s inspired some wild dancing. We’ve visited an elk & bison prairie, an animatronic dinosaur show, a fantasy themed park where the play area is a castle with actual secret passages and we plan to visit the planetarium before summer is out. Other than that I’ve just been cleaning out closets and reorganizing.

    A friend of mine’s biopsy came back clear. YAY!!!!!

    In a few, I’m going to watch some Attack on Titan with the hubster.

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