Can Sluts Fall in Love? Heartiste on “hard sluts” and the difference between emotional and “spermal bonding.”

Alpha cat demonstrating higher value.

Alpha cat demonstrating higher value.

Love is in the air at the Chateau Heartiste, the online home of the racist, woman-hating pickup artiste with an “he” at the start of his made up name. In a recent post, Heartiste responds to a reader with the plaintive question: Can sluts fall in love?

Heartiste takes the opportunity to drop some (pseudo)science on the questioner. By which I mean he plucks this nugget of not-quite-scientific nonsense from his posterior:

Absolutely. But they can also fall out of love. And they do both more easily than non-sluts.

Sluts are a strange amalgam of genetic, environmental, and “gray area” influences. Hormones are a good example of a gray area somewhere between the environment and genes which shapes character. While I’ve no hard evidence, I’d bet that sluts release less oxytocin than normal women do during lovemaking, which means the hard slut is less likely to emotionally bond when she’s spermally bonded.

Ah love, sweet ineffable love!

It’s not quite clear how Heartiste became an expert on love, since he seems to thoroughly hate the women he spends so much of his life obsessing about.

Elsewhere in the same “reader mailbag” post, for example, he urges another question-writer to gaslight a former girlfriend who is still showing interest in him in order to score some easy sex. I’ve bolded some of the more repugnant bits for those who’d rather skim than read Mr. H.

She wants the lines of communication open, because she still has hope you’ll give her what she needs. Reply, but only a fraction of the time she texts. Initially, keep it friendly and frivolous, but don’t allow yourself to get boxed into a “friends forever?” interrogation. If she starts down that road, first, know she doesn’t really mean it, and second, amputate that rotten limb of conversation promptly. “You’re so funny” is a reply that will light a fire under her hamster’s ass. Anytime she sends you one of those “just thinking about you” texts, reply “aw that’s sweet.” If she texts, “just got our hair done”, reply, “thanks! i needed to know this.”

The idea is that you are reinforcing your relative higher value by repeatedly and (some would say) sadistically mocking her eagerness to keep you in her life.

Allow for a few weeks of this empty banter, then maneuver her into your fornication zone with a disarming suggestion: “If you need to talk, you can swing by tomorrow (tonight’s no good)”. Through the expert deployment of ambiguous promises, you want her to believe you are warming to the idea of a committed, conventional long-term relationship. The goal is increasing perceptions of your “commitment attainability”, and that will require some feints to the beta side. Convinced of your good intentions, you can extract sexual goodies in this manner for another six months or so, before the process begins anew.

What a charmer!

Heartiste is fond of spinning out these sorts of sadistic fantasies, and his fans lap them up. It’s not clear if any of them have spoken to an actual human woman in years.

About David Futrelle

I run the blog We Hunted the Mammoth, which tracks (and mocks) online misogyny. My writing has appeared in a wide variety of places, including Salon,, the Washington Post, the New York Times Book Review and Money magazine. I like cats.

Posted on June 17, 2014, in alpha males, beta males, creepy, empathy deficit, gaslighting, hamstering, heartiste, men who should not ever be with women ever, misogyny, precious bodily fluids, PUA, red pill and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 172 Comments.

  1. The Hail Mary Principle was specifically about anti choicers/conservatives/etc, and how they feel that any woman coming into contact with sperm is forever changed by it.

    That really, really, really sucks for GSM folks. :(

    Primates keep working their way into this conversation.


    I think spending time in history subreddits has ruined me. I can’t think of Gibbon anymore without thinking “damn you for perpetuating the Dark Ages myth”.

  2. @ kitteh, exactly! Sperm is magic donchano?

    It’s basically one of the tenets of the concept of male superiority. I tend to apply the HMP to *all* sperm worship, which I think applies to the concept of “spermal bonding”.

  3. What, you expect misogynists to give up one of their go-to insults for women? Misandry!

    Biggest misanderer in the HOUSE!

  4. @ Alice, I think the concept is ridiculous. Which is why I loved how it was compared to catching a flu. Sperm is mundane, most men can make it, it’s not scarce, and there is no special magic sperm that will change anyone’s life by mere contact.

    I think I should leave this until tomorrow because I’m migrainey and stoned on Gravol.

  5. I almost said “primates keep coming into this conversation,” but I caught myself in time.

  6. Shaun – I hope that you feel better soon! From what I hear about migraines, they hurt. :(

  7. I almost said “primates keep coming into this conversation,” but I caught myself in time.

    Dammit katz, now you owe me a cup of tea and a new keyboard!

  8. @ Alice, thanks. For me it’s not so much the actual pain, it’s the lights sensitivity, sound sensitivity, nausea, and in extremes paralysis. The pain is managable (I wish my 4 year old wanted sleep, but she’s always extra energised by having a cold).

    @ katz, have I told you how hilarious you are?

  9. Shaun, ow. :(

  10. RE: katz

    I almost said “primates keep coming into this conversation,” but I caught myself in time.

    NOOOOOOO you went there.

  11. KATZ IS A KEYBOARD KILLER. #killallkeyboards

  12. I forgot to tell you all my daily act of misandry! (I either need to change the title of that or be more frequent with them.)

    Dude sent me hate mail (pm chat). I of course responded, as kindly as I could (ie smacked down the troll). He kept sending me messages. I called him troll, called him chew toy, and told him that his rage boner wasn’t intimidating. He kept responding “But I’m *not* a misogynist (anyone else remember “I’m not am alien” from MST3K?) you bitch (at which point I called Bingo), and after I pointed out each separate act of active misogyny in his messages, and mocked his rage boner more, he sent a message asking for a date. Apparently he was just trying to get my attention because he likes me. My response was “Not *even* if I were fucking dead.”.

    I’ve been showering almost non stop,

    And now my story has made me have a sad.

  13. Yay 4 year old bedtime!

  14. KATZ IS A KEYBOARD KILLER. #killallkeyboards

    The jokes on this blog really could make that hashtag a thing. :D

    Shaun, yay for misandering, but ew ew ew to creepy misogynist dudebro (yes I know that’s tautologous but whatever).

  15. The thing about the MRAs is that they seem to be all anger, almost no sense of humor and no ironic self-awareness at all. In particular, they constantly make comments that demonstrate the very type of bad thinking that it accuses their adversary of practicing.
    For example, one might say “Feminist are angry bitches who say demeaning things about men.” It’s really quite amazing.

  16. MRAs’ two weapons are rage and self-pity and no self-awareness … their three main weapons are rage, self-pity, no self-awareness and complete lack of irony … I’ll come in again.

  17. LOL, except that I would like the company of many Monty Python members more.

  18. Hilarious, kitteh. But sadly, everybody expects the douchebros.

  19. The Spanish Inquisition had better clothing.

  20. Hilarious, kitteh. But sadly, everybody expects the douchebros.

    Win! :D

  21. :: looks at kitteh’s and strivingally’s posts ::

    :: blinks, rubs eyes ::


  22. cassandrakitty

    Apparently he was just trying to get my attention because he likes me.

    How is that supposed to work, anyway? OK, now you have my attention, and as a result of that I have decided that you are an annoying idiot. If you then hit on me you will become the sexual equivalent of a whiny toddler at the supermarket checkout who won’t stop begging for a Mars Bar.

    Which PUAs will then respond to with insistence that men should be more alpha and not take no for an answer, but that’s what got them put in the “annoying whiny toddler” category in the first place. If a woman doesn’t like you then she doesn’t fucking like you – any further attempts to change her mind will just make her dislike you even more, so what’s the point?


    Huzzah! :D

  24. Apologies in advance for the crudity of this post.

    Some news for these cretins, sperm does not bond a woman to a man, in fact, she is more likely to run straight into the bathroom to get rid of the slimy mess those funny appendages leave behind. Why do these guys always assume that women are dying to have their body fluids inside them? I know women who actively avoid sex sometimes because they can’t be bothered cleaning up the residue left behind. Do they think it has some kind of euphoric, orgasmic quality to it or something? It’s disgusting goo…an annoying by-product of an otherwise (hopefully), pleasurable experience.

    BTW, guys, it’s not an annoying by-product if you’re trying to procreate, then it’s just annoying LOL!

  25. BTW, just reading some older posts, I think ‘ejaculation helmet’ could become my new MRA insult! Since these guys would f*** anything that moves…or doesn’t move for that matter. YAY!!

  26. I’m sorry I can’t help myself…I’m getting a bumper sticker made up:

    ‘Ejaculation helmet’: It’s a science thing!

    What do you reckon?

  27. Unfortunately, some of those living kakapo were apparently completely uninterested in female kakapo, preferring instead to attempt mating with (among other things) humans’ heads and dead pigeons.


  28. Since Douglas Adams “Last chance to see”, I always had a soft spot for the Kakapo. There is a very good documentary “The unnatural history of the Kakapo” well worth the watch. It is on youtube.

  29. Phoenician in a time of Romans

    @cassandrakitty: How is that supposed to work, anyway?

    Well, you know how back in kindergarten, little boys would pull the pigtails of little girls when they were too shy to speak nicely to them? Sorta like that. And about as productive in getting mad sex as a result.

  30. Phoenician in a time of Romans

    Since Douglas Adams “Last chance to see”, I always had a soft spot for the Kakapo.

    The kea are way more entertaining. I have hiker friends with hilarious tales of encounters with kea.

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