[Not All] Redditors agree: “In 99% of societal contexts such as going to office, going to the supermarket … etc, it is men who have to be continually afraid of women.”

They're very sneaky, these gals.

They’re very sneaky, these gals.

Oh, Reddit! Need another reminder that on Reddit, whiny lady-hating man-babies can be found outside the Men’s Rights and Red Pill subreddits? Take a look at this lovely comment from occasional Red Pill commenter purple4th  in Change My Views, which (the last I checked) had garnered nearly 150 net upvotes from the crowd there. Here’s the money quote:

[S]ocietal laws are so filled with misandry that in 99% of societal contexts such as going to office, going to the supermarket, going to the movies, etc;, it is men who have to be continually afraid of women.

That’s right, fellas. Women who worry about men harming them are all a bunch of big sillies. It’s MEN who should be worried Oh, sure those gals may look innocent, but don’t let your guard down for a minute lest one of them misander you with a false accusation of being too much of a dude! con

Purple4th continues:

As my investment banks’ Sexual Harassment presentation says, “It is harassment if she says so”. Period.

Really? I decided to look online to see if I could find any Sexual Harassment literature making that argument. A search for “It is harassment if she says so” in quotes returns only one hit on Google: Purple4th’s comment on Reddit.

In fact, the legal standard for sexual harassment — in the US at least —  is not “whatever the hell a random woman wants to call harassment.” It’s whether or not a “reasonable person” would see the behavior as harassment.

But that’s how it works in the real world. MRAs and the MRA-adjacent don’t live in the real world.

Thanks, AMRthroaway on Reddit for pointing me to this lovely quote.



About David Futrelle

I run the blog We Hunted the Mammoth, which tracks (and mocks) online misogyny. My writing has appeared in a wide variety of places, including Salon, Time.com, the Washington Post, the New York Times Book Review and Money magazine. I like cats.

Posted on June 5, 2014, in antifeminism, evil sexy ladies, evil women, imaginary backwards land, men who should not ever be with women ever, misogyny, MRA, oppressed men, red pill, reddit, sexual harassment, that's completely wrong and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 150 Comments.

  1. Kittehserf: Angry isn’t even that big for an adult male, he’s actually quite stunted as his previous owner neglected to treat his health issues and fed him crappy food. I have another boy who is already 50% heavier than him and is still growing!

    Cripes! Poor little dude.

  2. Purple4th sounds like this guy I used to be friends with who tried to convince me that men really had it harder than women on online dating sites because, even though (by his own estimate) 50% of the messages that women got were “straight up perverted and unwanted,” the other 50% were perfectly legitimate dating options whereas men (i.e. him) only got, again by his own estimate, a 1% response rate and a few messages from (his words) messages from “ugly black girls” and the “clinically obese.” He literally compared his experiences going on online dating sites and not getting loads of messages from women he found attractive to self harm and thought that all women who signed up just got to sit around reading fan mail. He really thought that not receiving enough female attention was worse than receiving lots of negative male attention.

    Not surprisingly, he also consistently failed to respect women’s boundaries or to acknowledge that anyone wasn’t actually interested in him if he’d practiced “attraction strategy” on her.

  3. Hey now, it’s not the abuse olympics.

    :) Yeah, I realize that there’s no gold medal for who puts up with the worst shit from a jerkface. I just felt like I was co-opting your story, and that was sitting badly with me. I still think you’re the greater badass, though, for getting out after being in for so long. And for having such awesome lap rats.

    Also, I realize now that I kind of threw Winter Walker’s compliment back in her face. I’m sorry about that, Winter Walker, I didn’t mean to be rude. And give your kitty a cuddle as thanks for the sweet monitor nuzzles.

    <blockquote. Actually it’s kind of funny you say my situation was worse, so many people seem to think I got off easy or argue that it wasn’t that bad because the guy never hit me

    I never really talk about my crappy ex for that reason. He’d physically restrain me when I was trying to walk away, he’d grab my face if he didn’t think I was paying adequate attention to him, and he’d touch me anywhere he damned please, to hell with my objections. But he never hit or punched me. I was about five years out of that before I even classified all the grabbing, dragging, and holding-til-I-stopped-struggling as physical abuse. I bought into the idea that if I didn’t have scars, it couldn’t have been that bad.

    Nobody who has gone through shit has deserved it. Shit is tough to deal with. Saying things like “well at least [he/she] never raped me” or “at least [he/she] never hit me” is an insidious way of minimising the actual abuse that DID happen.

    You’re right, pallygirl. You are completely, totally right.

  4. Damn. I know I closed that second blockquote. WordPress gods, why do you punish me?

  5. Argenti Aertheri

    You may’ve closed it, but you didn’t open it :)

    WordPress apparently wanted a > for breakfast.

  6. :)

  7. That Blockquote Mammoth is such a tease.

  8. Yeah, I’m sensitive to people minimising abuse that occurred to them, because so often we’re told that we’re mistaken, or catastrophising, or attention seeking. It is so important to realise that if it feels like abuse, then it probably bloody well is. And not just the abuser does this. This is why it is so important to believe people who say “I think I’m experiencing abuse/bullying/harassment” because the situation is likely to have been bad for a long time before anyone comes to us and says something.

    And no abuse is good. And all abuse has negative effects on the person experiencing it.

    Once we realise abuse for what it is, then we can make decisions, and start healing. And start trusting our own judgements again – which is something that abusers are really good at, making us distrust our own feelings about something. This, I have found, is one of the hardest things to get back: start trusting ourselves (beliefs, feelings) again.

  9. A family member that I told about the emotional/mental spousal abuse I was experiencing, for years, always minimized it – “you don’t have it so bad” and so forth. It took me years to realize that, in fact, that this family member was and always had been emotionally abusive to me. Outta there.

  10. i love it when i’m at the grocery store and all the men are cowering in fear at my femininity! FEAR ME, MALE POPULATION!

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