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A Voice for Men’s Threatener-in-Chief Paul Elam demands that feminists pay security costs for his group’s conference

Paul Elam, Man of Peace

Paul Elam, Man of Peace

Well, you have to admit, he’s got chutzpah.

You may have heard that A Voice for Men is sponsoring what it calls the First International Conference on Men’s Issues later this month in Detroit, featuring such notable celebrity speakers as “internationally recognized writer, lecturer and videographer” Karen “Girl Writes What” Straughan, “former mental health professional” Paul “Boy Yells A Lot” Elam, Warren “Boys Aren’t Hurt By Incest a Lot” Farrell, and, well, a collection of other equally exciting names.

But there have been some doubts about it happening from the start. It took some time for the AVFMers to sell enough tickets to enable them to cover the costs of the event.

And now it the costs of the event are going up further: according to a letter that Elam has posted to his site, the hotel that will be hosting the conference has gotten “numerous calls and threats” of a violent nature because of the conference, and is demanding that AVFM cover the costs of additional security at the event.

So Elam has decided that feminists should pay some of these costs, in order to prove they’re “not like that.”

The death threats from feminists, in the attempt to silence these esteemed speakers, has resulted in the conference incurring tens of thousands of dollars in additional security costs.

We plan on launching a fundraiser tomorrow to address those needs, but I want to give the feminists who stand by free speech and assert decisively that these thugs do not represent what feminism is about, to have an early shot at helping us address the gender issues that impact men and boys in an open forum.

He’s even set up a special Paypal button “for feminists only.”

Excuse me?

Let’s be clear here: Death threats are bad. Other sorts of threats are bad. Harassment is bad. Shutting down talks given by people you don’t like is bad. Whoever made the threats against AVFM’s conference, feminist or not, deserves to be prosecuted.

But as someone who has never promoted violence or threats of violence or any form of harassment aimed at MRAs, and who has in fact spoken out against this on numerous occasions, I’m not actually responsible, even indirectly, for the threats against AVFM’s conference. (I haven’t even written about the conference before.) And neither is any other feminist who’s “not like that.”

Indeed, the idea that we should bankroll AVFM’s conference is a bit like asking anti-racist activists to fund a KKK rally because someone or other sent threats to the Klan.

AVFM, as I have documented rather throroughly, is a hateful organization motivated by a deeply misogynistic ideology. Its rhetoric is consistently threatening, designed to intimidate opponents into shutting up and going away. Elam himself — the master of the not-quite-legally actionable threat — once famously told one opponent that

I find you so pernicious and repugnant that the idea of fucking your shit up gives me an erection. …

Your only real hope is to keep your mouth shut and pretend AVfM and register-her.com does not exist for as long as you can. …

We are coming for you … .

It’s a group whose main form of “activism” has always been harassing individual women; indeed, the Register-Her.com sitte referenced in the above quote (currently offline and being rebuilt) was a phony “offenders registry” that posted the names and some of the personal information of AVFM’s female enemies alongside profiles of serial killers and sexual abusers. AVFM seemed to make a special point of picking vulnerable targets, often college students, evidently feeling that these women would be easier to intimidate.

AVFM has tried to destroy the lives and livelihoods of numerous other enemies, in at least one case through allegedly illegal means.

The site has also participated enthusiastically in misogynistic internet hate-orgies directed at outspoken women like Rebecca Watson and Anita Sarkeesian, women who received and who are still receiving numerous violent threats of rape and murder.

On one occasion, joining up with a hate campaign already heavily populated with white supremacists, Elam targeted a recent college grad for allegedly boasting on her blog that she’s been actively discriminating against white men in her job at the Georgetown Admissions Office. The blog was an obvious hoax and the woman in question had nothing to do with it. Even former KKK leader David Duke realized this before Elam did.

And we can’t forget that AVFM hosted a terrorist manifesto in its activism section for several years, written by Thomas Ball, a Men’s Rights Activist who hoped that his dramatic suicide – he burned himself to death on the steps of a courthouse – would inspire other MRAs to start firebombing courthouses and police stations.

So boys, we need to start burning down police stations and courthouses. … the dirty deeds are being carried out by our local police, prosecutors and judges. These are the people we pay good money to protect us and our families. And what do we get for our tax money? Collaborators who are no different than the Vichy of France or the Quislings of Norway during the Second World War. All because they go along to get along. They are an embarrassment, the whole lot of them. And they need to be held accountable. So burn them out. …

You need to flatten them, like Wile E. Coyote. They need to be taught never to replace the rule of law. BURN-THEM-OUT!

(Emphasis mine.)

AVFM finally removed the manifesto from its “activism” section shortly after the Boston Marathon bombing brought the issue of domestic terrorism back into the limelight. But the site still hosts numerous articles glorifying the author of this manifesto.

Oh, and those associated with AVFM are not above harassing their male critics as well. I get a lot of weird, creepy and threatening emails and comments. It’s rare that the senders are dumb enough to do it under their own name. But that was the case with a creepy and threatening voicemail message I received at 1:38 AM one winter night from a longtime AVFM fan and tireless poster-paster that Elam once described as a “One Man Army” and “an MRA’s MRA.”

And this is the organization that expects feminists like me to pay for its security costs?

I don’t think so.

 

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Posted on June 1, 2014, in a voice for men, antifeminism, doxing, harassment, men who should not ever be with women ever, misogyny, MRA, not-quite-explicit threats, not-quite-plausible deniability, paul elam, playing the victim, terrorism, threats, warren farrell and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 689 Comments.

  1. Well, that’s what I get for not reading the whole thread. That was a sock, huh? Somehow that makes him even more gross. That creep keeps coming back here to share his “wisdom”?
    So much “Ew”.

    is it possible that JB is sincere

    No.
    Did you see the links to her blog?
    Go and behold the wrongness of her. If you still have doubts, you give her the dialogue she’s fishing for. I’m not so charitable.

    She’s suggesting that a total stranger is in danger due to repercussions for a thing there is no evidence she has any involvement in. It is a thing that most of us are not convinced even happened. JB then suggests, apropos of nothing, that the strange woman (whom she appears to not know personally but is still Facebook stalking) may not know the seriousness of her predicament and may be so out of touch with reality that she is technically “innocent” of wrongdoing.
    …for threatening to kill multiple people, right after a national tragedy.
    …a national tragedy that just happens to have shown an unpleasant light on her cause.
    She wants the woman to get on social media so that she can be a target. She wants to draw in as many people in and get as much attention as she can for her cause.
    Her cause defending rapists and abusers and blaming their victims.
    That cause.

    Why should anyone engage with that?

  2. @grumpcatisagirl

    :: brings out a tiny violin ::

  3. @sarah

    Actually, the super fun action did involve cookies, at least tangentially.

    All super fun activities should involve cookies. Otherwise, how couls they be super fun?

    Hope you & the organisers are keeping safe.

  4. grumpcatisagirl & Ally S,

    I’ll laugh with you and dance to the tune of that violin. :)

  5. That’s the plan!

    This wasn’t how I planned on delurking, but I’d like to give the commentariat here a hand.

    There are days where y’all keep me sane.

  6. @cloudiah and @hellkell

    No doubt you are right about JB’s sincerity (lack thereof). I don’t know what came over me, middle of the night naivete, I guess.

    Doxing Emma Howland-Bolton, whipping the AVfM commentariat into a lather so that some of them want to call her superintendent of schools and get her fired, trying to conflate Emma’s protest at the library closing with illegal and violent activity, and mostly just smearing her through suggestion with no proof whatsoever. UGH UGH and UGH some more.

  7. @auggz

    I guess that’s good. :/ I just don’t really trust much from cracked, seeing as how I stopped reading there cuz of the isms years ago.

  8. Chris,
    That’s how their great human rights movement rolls. :/

  9. Did you notice how Jagermeister Canada put out a tweet that said “we weren’t aware our logo was being used for the concert and never approved it?” Stealing logos without permission is the new human rights activism, I guess.

  10. Auggz,
    Is it worth reading?

  11. @Lea, it’s pretty short. It’s pretty good.

    @Marie, they used to be pretty terrible, and even had some MRAish stuff (evopsych, men are victims for being the “dumb ones” in sitcoms, etc), but it seems they’ve changed a lot.

  12. @auggz

    I guess that’s good. Like I said, I’m just still suspicious, if that makes sense.

  13. Argenti Aertheri

    Sarah — hi! Cookies are excellent, I mean, feminists stole their ice cream, so why not take their cookies too? Sounds like the super fun is super fun and not at all death threaty, and JB is full of shit. Color me surprised >.<

    Hope the misters don't give y'all too much shit!

    Marie — no glaring isms in that one, other than quoting the misters, the cracked guy talked to a former neo nazi and psych so there's some good shit on why people fall for the MRA shit.

  14. Flying Mouse

    Good luck, sarah! Stay safe.

  15. Wait…
    The document has been taken down?
    Any explanation?

  16. @Lea,

    Yeah, I think you are right. Emma has ducked down a bit and they want her to stick her head up again so they can try to lop it off (metaphorically).

  17. @Argenti Aertheri

    Does that mean ice cream cookie sandwiches are the ultimate misandrist treat?

    Not only do they contain cookies & ice cream appropriated from the menz but they are a sandwich women make just for our own enjoyment.

  18. On a more serious note; please stay safe Sarah & thanks for all the work you’re doing.

    I only recently started de-lurking and I’m so glad I did, so welcome!

    I hope Emma Howland-Bolton has a good support system and comes out of this mess unscathed.

  19. @Sarah, I would like to send you all cookies. Stay safe! Use pseudonyms! Wear silly disguises!

    And judgybitch, if you’re lurking, by “cookies” I mean cookies, not laser cannons or flamethrowers. Actual cookies.

  20. From that Raw Story article: “But all they’ll [protesters] tell me [Esmay] is they won’t talk to terrorists or make fun of me or just ignore me.”

    Being called a terrorist, made fun of, or ignored, sounds like pretty small potatoes next to getting doxxed and deluged with rape and death threats.

  21. PirateJennie,

    You joined the misandric kitty hive mind!

  22. Astoria Pastry Shop on Monroe has fantastic cookies, Just saying :)

    I can’t speak for the group, but I am very glad David is publicizing this idiocy.

  23. @weirwoodtreehugger

    Ooohhh, like the Borg. When do I get my misandric pleather temptation outfit & implants?

    The kitteh will need them too, just sayin’…

  24. @weirwoodtreehugger

    I hear and shall obey.

  25. @Maire

    “You can choose to be healthy? Wtf?

    Fuck you. Do I even need to explain this.”

    Not what I meant at all and I am sorry if it came across that way. I meant people aren’t naturally “healthy” or “not healthy.” I meant — in my experience — I need to chose day in and day out to make choices that are healthy.

    I was trying to do just the opposite of tell people how to choose to live. I was trying to share my own experience. I am sorry I did that awkwardly.

    I think people who society labels “sick” for one reason or another make amazing healthy choices. There are other people who society labels “healthy” who make amazingly unhealthy choices.

  26. @bbeaty

    Not what I meant at all and I am sorry if it came across that way. I meant people aren’t naturally “healthy” or “not healthy.” I meant — in my experience — I need to chose day in and day out to make choices that are healthy.

    uhhh and I can’t put my finger on why but this is still rubbing me the wrong way.

    Okay, I’ll try to explain why. Because people may not be naturally ‘healthy’ or ‘unhealthy’ ,but some people are a fuck a lot more naturally healthy than others.

    I think people who society labels “sick” for one reason or another make amazing healthy choices. There are other people who society labels “healthy” who make amazingly unhealthy choices.

    good fucking god, why does it matter what choices people make for health? Health is not a factor in human worth. Being sick doesn’t make you a bad person. It’s just being sick.

  27. Argenti Aertheri

    Yep, ice cream sandwiches are deliciously misandrist!

    Marie — because it implies that for every potentially “unhealthy” action you have a “healthy” option?

    [TW: self injury] If my options are curl up in bed indefinitely, or self injure and be competent again in half an hour, which is the “healthy” option?

    Or maybe because it implies that not putting constant effort into choosing “healthy” options means choosing “unhealthy” ones, when the risks and rewards balance, or the apparently less healthy option is actually the healthier option for you at the time? Or just because not putting that effort in is lazy, which is inherently “unhealthy”?

  28. So it was Pell? My sockdar was pinging but the KKK reference threw me off to thinking it was one of the more recent ones. That’s the longest Pell has managed without a total meltdown for some time.

    Marie:

    good fucking god, why does it matter what choices people make for health? Health is not a factor in human worth. Being sick doesn’t make you a bad person. It’s just being sick.

    Isn’t that what bbeaty was saying? That the choices aren’t really relevant, and society dumps labels on people because *reasons* and it’s all wrong?

  29. @argenti

    Not much to say, but good points on that :/

    Plus, you know, if it’s a mentally healthy vs physically healthy, what do you do? Eating chocolate will temporarily make me feel better, but isn’t really so good on the body health department.

    and I’m just rambling right now.

  30. @kittehs

    Isn’t that what bbeaty was saying? That the choices aren’t really relevant, and society dumps labels on people because *reasons* and it’s all wrong?

    uh, how did you get that out of what she said? cuz I’m not seeing it -_-

  31. I could have misread it, I dunno.

  32. cassandrakitty

    You guys all know the AVfMers and their ways better than I do, but is it possible that JB is sincere and on the level and has some genuine fellow feeling for another woman who she thinks may be in trouble?

    Based on previous evidence? JB has about as much empathy as a deck chair. Also this isn’t the way she usually talks, so yeah, not really buying this new super concerned for the welfare of other women thing. I do think the fact that she’s a woman is why she rather than, say, JtO was deputized to try this little stunt. For some reason MRAs remain convinced that we automatically support women, and believe them even if it’s really obvious that they’re full of shit, despite all evidence to the contrary. Its pretty weird, actually.

  33. And furthermore, NO, JB wasn’t sincere. Look at the creepy way she was going on.

    “We have no evidence… but you should do something! We have no evidence, and I’m sure she never did anything wrong… but you should do something!”

    Seriously, how does that sound at all sincere? Or like genuine concern? That was the trolliest concern I’ve EVER seen, and I’ve been here a while!

  34. cassandrakitty

    BTW, based on that thing with the squirrels I’m guessing this is Erin again. Go home, Erin, you’re drunk.

  35. cassandrakitty

    Oh, just saw David’s comment. Pell again? Damn, kid, you need help. And also to be grounded and have your internet access taken away.

  36. Obviously she wasn’t sincere, even aside from context, because if she was sincere, she wouldn’t have said all that “there’s no reason to think she did…but if she did…” nonsense, she would have said something more like “hey, so some guys are convinced that this random woman has been making death threats and I wanted to get in touch with her and let her know, and also if she actually is making death threats, can someone tell her that that’s really not OK.”

    Then when reassured that the whole thing was trumped-up nonsense, she would be relieved, instead of doubling down.

  37. It seems I missed yet another Pellt-down. I suppose we can add “The French are a race and calling me Peter LaCrap is racist” to his repertoire?

  38. @LBT and @Katz

    Re: sincerity

    Yeah, that was a ill-considered idea, I absolutely agree.

  39. JB has about as much empathy as a deck hard chair.

    FTFY

    I thought it was Erin, too, with the KKK references. That’s the longest Pell has managed without a trollsplosion for a while.

    Kid really does need a proper hobby.

  40. wewereemergencies

    Oh my god that was Pell? Nthing the claim that now I feel like a real Mammotheer.

  41. What threats has Paul Elam uttered against feminists? What feminist events has AVfM actively sought to shut down?

  42. marinerachel

    …..for real?

  43. So maybe Datte could read the orignal post before leaping in with a pointless remark then …

  44. What threats has Paul Elam uttered against feminists?

    There are multiple links in this very post you’re commenting on that detail some of the awful things Paul Elam has said and done. You should click those links and read the material they lead to.

  45. What threats has Paul Elam uttered against feminists?

    http://www.register-her.com

  46. Aw shit, I didn’t know that would come up as a link! Sorry y’all, sorry David, I really didn’t mean to link to that shit D-:

  47. What threats has Paul Elam uttered against feminists?

    Do
    your
    own
    homework.

    We aren’t
    your
    personal
    search
    engine.

    Look up and to the right. See the search this website feature? Use it.

  48. I think people who society labels “sick” for one reason or another make amazing healthy choices. There are other people who society labels “healthy” who make amazingly unhealthy choices.

    I agree with bbeaty. Second Kittehserf, too. Don’t think anyone is trying to insinuate anything about lifestyle choices or health.

  49. dattehakamura | June 4, 2014 at 8:33 am
    What threats has Paul Elam uttered against feminists? What feminist events has AVfM actively sought to shut down?

    Our lives. Paul Elam and AVFM have actively sought to shut down our lives.

    Which you would know, if you’d read the article and followed the links.

  50. @fibinachi

    I think people who society labels “sick” for one reason or another make amazing healthy choices. There are other people who society labels “healthy” who make amazingly unhealthy choices.

    I agree with bbeaty. Second Kittehserf, too. Don’t think anyone is trying to insinuate anything about lifestyle choices or health.

    Uh, If nobody’s trying to insinuate anything about lifestyle choices or healthy, why the heck does bbeaty keep needing to use the word ‘healthy’. Because something is seriously preventing me from seeing this the way you guys are seeing it. -_- Idk, I mean, why the whole value placed on ‘healthy’ anyway, if it doesn’t have to do with healthy why does that word even need to being thrown around.

  51. Now I feel weird that Pell is considered an ‘old’ troll. To me, he is a middling-new troll, and folks like DKM and Owly are the ‘old’ trolls.

    INTERNET TIME RUNS SO FAST.

  52. I read it as “society often makes snap judgments and equates people’s health with their lifestyle choices for no goddamn reason.” I don’t think bbeaty was endorsing those judgments, or saying anyone’s health should be up for evaluation. I think she was just pointing out a common narrative that society often gets wrong.

  53. What threats has Paul Elam uttered against feminists?

    He intends to make, “fucking their shit up” his life’s work.

    He will never, even if he knows the accused to be guilty vote to convict in a rape trial on which he is a juror.

    If that’s not enough for you to accept that he has made such threats (irrespective of what you think of them) you are irremediable.

  54. So French is the new doctorlawyerscientist? I’m actually kind of sad we got a Pell visit with no hilarious meltdown.

  55. I read it as “society often makes snap judgments and equates people’s health with their lifestyle choices for no goddamn reason.” I don’t think bbeaty was endorsing those judgments, or saying anyone’s health should be up for evaluation. I think she was just pointing out a common narrative that society often gets wrong.

    Yes, this.

  56. The Chartreuse Vegan Capsule

    “But that was the case with a creepy and threatening voicemail message I received at 1:38 AM one winter night from a longtime AVFM fan and tireless poster-paster that Elam once described as a “One Man Army” and “an MRA’s MRA.”

    The guy who wrote The Misandry Bubble?

    OK I read a few of Janet Judgy Witch Broomwielders (apologies to good witches reading this) comments, like two, and just couldn’t anymore.

    She was probably sloshed while writing them and that’s why they are so clusterf*cked. She openly discusses her alcohol addiction on her blog. Every day when the hubby’s at work and kids are at school, Mom is kickin’ back her heels and throwin’ ‘em back, one after the other.

    There’s a time of day when she’s noticebly drunk, you can tell by how her writing “evolves” (or devolves) on her blog. It peaks shortly before everyone returns home.

    Ahhhh, these Manosphere Ladies’ Auxilery Stay at Home Moms are really industrious, hardworking “home makers”, aren’t they?

    I envy their husbands. Such quality wives they’ve landed. Lucky bastards.

  57. emilygoddess - MOD

    She openly discusses her alcohol addiction on her blog. Every day when the hubby’s at work and kids are at school, Mom is kickin’ back her heels and throwin’ ‘em back, one after the other.

    Does she actually call it an addiction, or is that your take on it? And yes, addicts tend to use the substances they’re addicted to. “This alcoholic is drinking a lot” isn’t really news, unless you’re trying to use it to mock her (which wouldn’t surprise me given the rest of your comment).

    Ahhhh, these Manosphere Ladies’ Auxilery Stay at Home Moms are really industrious, hardworking “home makers”, aren’t they?

    What, precisely, is the amount of work a SAHM must accomplish to deserve the title of “home maker”? How do you know she isn’t meeting it? And why is this up to you, rather than her and her family? This is some judgmental, shamey bullshit right here.

  58. Flying Mouse
    hhhh, these Manosphere Ladies’ Auxilery Stay at Home Moms are really industrious, hardworking “home makers”, aren’t they?

    What, precisely, is the amount of work a SAHM must accomplish to deserve the title of “home maker”? How do you know she isn’t meeting it? And why is this up to you, rather than her and her family? This is some judgmental, shamey bullshit right here.

    emilygoddess, thank you. I didn’t take this on when I saw it earlier because I’m a housewife myself; I thought maybe I was being a little too sensitive because I have skin in the game. It’s nice to know I wasn’t the only one who found this amiss.

    Chartreuse Vegan Capsule, can we not do the mommy wars stuff? There’s never a productive outcome, it’s just people scoring points and having a blame-and-shame-a-thon.

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