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Note to clueless misogynistic dating coaches: Vogue magazine does not run handjob how-to’s as cover stories

Note: The real world is not a romance comic.

Note: The real world is not a romance comic.

The We Hunted the Mammoth Pledge Drive continues! If you haven’t already, please consider sending some bucks my way. (And don’t worry that the PayPal page says Man Boobz.) Thanks! And thanks again to all who’ve already donated.

 

After all of the depressing stuff from recent days, here’s something a little lighter: A heartwarming story of misogynist gullibility, and yet another reminder that the evil feminazi double standards that the manospherians think they’re fighting exist only in their own fevered imaginations.

So last night, as a result of a rather nasty contretemps in the comments here, I was going through some old comments, and I discovered that one recently banned troll has a little blog of his own. Curious, I went and checked it out, and discovered that the obnoxious fellow, one “Ronnie Libra,” fancies himself a “dating coach.” And he’d just posted a rant defending pickup artists from accusations of being the creepy, manipulative predators that we know a lot of them are.

Here was his defense:

Pickup Artists are widely considered people who use tactics and techniques to try and “manipulate” members of the opposite sex into bed.  Predatory, manipulative, rape culture, creepy…

Where else have we seen that before?

Popular Women’s Magazines perhaps?

As proof of this matriarchal manipulation, he posted the covers of three women’s magazines, adorned with pictures of sexy celebs and covered with headlines promising women guidance on how best to enslave men with their sexy sexiness.

But let’s look at some of these Mainstream Articles in these Popular women’s magazines.

Article Titles like:

Get Men to do your bidding without being a Nag

Get in his head and in his bed!

Christina Hendricks:  How she chased her man and got him!

How to disappear without a trace.

The Sex position that will Put a Ring on your Finger.

Football and poker will improve your relationship.  Find out how!

And a whole host of ways to manipulate men through sex.

It took me literally 3 minutes to pull of 3 random women’s magazine covers without even skimming for what the content of the covers would be. …

Am I complaining?  Am I saying there’s something wrong with all of this?  NOPE!  As a matter of fact, I am very far from the hypocritical crowd out there spouting out how men learning tactics and techniques or even just improving their lives inside and out is somehow creepy, misogynistic, women hating, rape culture.  If that were the case than women have been rapey, men hating, creepsters since before I was born.

No.  Men and women trying to become more attractive to the opposite sex is AWESOME! … Women and Men are playing the same game, and the fact is, the WOMEN have been making the rules for a long time. …

[T]his double standard that what is great for women to do is evil for men to do just needs to be put to rest.

There’s just one teensy problem with Ronnie’s argument: two of the three magazine covers that Ronnie used to prove his point were obvious, ridiculous fakes. Here they are:

if_men_wrote_womens_magazines_00womens-magazines-instyle

 

Yep. Apparently Ronnie thinks that Vogue runs cover stories on “The Lost Art of the Handjob,” and that InStyle is obsessed with telling women not to cut their hair because guys like women’s hair long.

You may notice that in addition to being festooned with headlines that sound like they were written not by sneaky sexually manipulative women but rather by a committee of horny dudes, these covers also feature a url on them: coolmaterial.com.

Using the sophisticated internet research technique of typing this url into my browser and, upon reaching the site in question, typing the words “women’s magazines” into the search box, I discovered that these covers were taken from a couple of “humor” features imagining what women’s magazines would look like … if they were written by men.

The basic joke behind them all: how can we convince these silly women to bend over backwards and forwards to please men sexually, while making them think they’re empowering themselves? Hell, there’s even a freaking sandwich joke on that fake InStyle cover.

And seriously, Ronnie, the NAME OF THE IMAGE FILE for the ScarJo cover, the image you posted on your blog and that I’ve reposted here, is if_men_wrote_womens_magazines_00.jpg. How did that not tip you off?

It’s true that women’s magazines do offer sex tips– shocking, I know — and, heck, I even found a handjob how-to in Vogue’s downmarket rival Glamour. But how is that in any way comparable to the manipulative and pedatory techniques favored by so many PUAs? Offering advice on how to please your partner in bed is about as innocuous as providing recipes for delicious food that people will enjoy eating. It’s nothing like the creepy gaslighting and routine boundary-violation regularly recommended by PUAs. Dread Game, anyone?

It’s also true that a couple of the headlines that Ronnie quotes are taken from the one real cover he posted, that of the May 2012 issue of the UK edition of Cosmopolitan. But tellingly, one of these quotes is actually a misquote. Cosmo wasn’t offering sneaky women advice on “how to disappear without a trace” – presumably with a briefcase full of pilfered cash and a vial of some poor man’s sperm. The actual headline?

Cosmo investigates: How can a woman disappear without a trace?

Yes, that’s right: it was an investigative report about a woman’s disappearance. I couldn’t find the piece itself on the Cosmopolitan UK website, which only puts limited stuff from its print editions online, though I found a more recent news story there about a missing woman who has been in the news a good deal in the UK. The American edition of Cosmo has also run investigative reports on missing women.

I’m not quite sure how Ronnie managed to get the headline so wrong. It’s written in big letters on the cover. Maybe he was distracted by cover girl Christina Hendricks’ cleavage? But it’s a revealing little slip nonetheless, transforming a story about a woman missing and possibly murdered into how-to guide to female deception.

More proof that these guys see just what they want to see – even if what they’re seeing is a joke, or entirely a product of their own imagination

Note to Ronnie: If you’d like to defend yourself here. I’ll unban your and let your comments through, just so long as they stay withing my comment guidelines.

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Posted on May 29, 2014, in alpha males, creepy, emotional abuse, evil sexy ladies, evil short-haired women, gaslighting, grandiosity, imaginary oppression, men who should not ever be with women ever, misogyny, MRA, PUA and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 337 Comments.

  1. Men don’t really need special dating advice books. Women are not that freaking mysterious, honestly maybe if they got over thinking women are somehow aliens and not of the same species they might do better at talking to them. You can read *ANY* good dating advice books and it shouldn’t matter if you’re a guy because people of all genders and sexual orientations can have anxiety or experience difficulty in dating so I imagine the advice is going to be pretty similar on how to deal with that.

  2. I wonder if these dudes need special books to talk to other dudes? Because hey, they just talk like they’re people. Funny how it never occurs to them to talk to women that way.

  3. cassandrakitty

    Actually, given their success rate in their interactions with men here, a “how to make friends with other men” book might not be the worst idea.

    Still not writing it for them, though.

  4. An MRA/PUA/MGTOW/misogynist fuckwits in general island still seems the best idea.

  5. Kittehserf – and we know what to call it. Pen Island.

    Regarding beet mead, I’ve done some Googling and found out about homemade beet kvas. It sounds great, albeit not particularly alcoholic. I greatly enjoy fermented foods, and will be trying it once I get my hands on some beets.

  6. An MRA/PUA/MGTOW/misogynist fuckwits in general island still seems the best idea.

    Can I send my sister’s abusive ex-boyfriend and my dad? Pleeeease?

  7. They’re top of the list, Ally!

  8. Argenti Aertheri

    Does Mother Roshiya have a history here that I’m not aware of?

    And I missed babies! Must go find mini Falconers!

  9. This reminds me of the time in college that I was persuaded by the internet that making “skittles vodka” was a good idea. Either my execution was completely off, or it was just not a good idea to begin with.

    I’ve never seen Skittles vodka work out well. I think it’s the gelatin or something that keeps the Skittles from dissolving. Jolly Ranchers, on the other hand, dissolve nicely (and Jolly Rancher vodka makes an interesting Cosmopolitan).

    Jesus Christ, Ronnie is a world-class clueless fucking dork. If I were him I’d be way too embarrassed to come back.

    Yeah, the fact that he’s not even embarassed is both confusing and hilarious. If I was him, or at least his online persona, I’d be embarassed all the damn time…

    Is it possible to write a book or curriculum to help romantically challenged men that won’t be viewed as misogynistic pick up “artistry” by feminists?

    Yes, but we’re still not going to write it for you.

    Maybe we should use them in defense against our next influx of poo-flinging howler monkey-trolls? We can add them to the arsenal: talking about bras, etc.

    Fandom Wank used to do this, and I got some killer recipes that way. I approve!

  10. Argenti – unless MR is a sock, no, not that I’m aware of.

  11. Ha. Why would I be embarrassed? I should be embarrassed that a few confused, and embittered feminists are all pooled up on this blog, feeding each off each others hatred?

    You give me NOTHING to DEFEND against. I read a couple of the comments on here, and they are so off base it’s like if a 9 year old child was calling me names. How am I supposed to be embarrassed?

    The only interesting comments buried in here are the couple where someone says that I make some pretty good points.

    And only 2 of you made it over to the comments section of my blog to discuss, so.. The 2 of you who made it, I took the time to discuss the topic fairly and equitably. But as long as you have your troll festival over here using each other to give you the confidence none of you would have on your own to call me names, that I think are more entertaining than anything else, what do I care? Troll away. Give each other that ego boost. Write a comments section novel about me, some more, why don’t you. Create me into this farcical Anti-Hero of the Mangina blog world. You’re doing good so far. 290’s not bad… Have at it.

    Anyway, thanks for the entertainment.

  12. kittehserf: Mead tastes like lots of things, depending on the honey, the ratio (i.e. how much sugar is in the water) the yeast (and how well it can digest sugar), whether or not the honey:water ratio is more (or less) than the yeast can eat, etc.

    That’s without getting into the question of hops, herbs, fruits added to the mix.

    I have one which was made with a berlinerwiesse yeast that came out with a little bit of residual sugar, and strong notes of hazelnut.

  13. Fuck off, Ronnie.

  14. Why would I be embarrassed?

    You aren’t embarrassed that you fell for obviously fake magazine covers? Unless you knew they were and then lied about it. In which case you should feel embarrassed for being an unethical asshole.

  15. Ronnie: You give me NOTHING to DEFEND against. I read a couple of the comments on here, and they are so off base it’s like if a 9 year old child was calling me names. How am I supposed to be embarrassed?

    Well… it starts with self-awareness. Which it’s plain you lack; as evidenced in this comment of yours:

    The only interesting comments buried in here are the couple where someone says that I make some pretty good points.

    People made some pretty detailed replies to you. You don’t think they counted as anything which called for reply, but the “couple where someone ‘agreed with me,'” you declare to be “interesting”.

    And only 2 of you made it over to the comments section of my blog to discuss, so.. The 2 of you who made it, I took the time to discuss the topic fairly and equitably. But as long as you have your troll festival over here using each other to give you the confidence none of you would have on your own to call me names,

    Right sonny. The only reason we call you out is because you make us tremble? That’s what I mean by lack of self-awareness. I looked at your blog. It was a waste of pixels. Better to go and do some gardening, eat some cheese and serrano, attend a wine-tasting, hang out with a friend who is still in town from Israel to visit with us after the wedding, re-arrange my room and make some supper.

    Because you neither came up with any new argument to the twaddle already replied to, nor managed any insults which I’d not seen before. Why should I waste my time on you? There are other things (as listed) and other parts of the internet. Things which are possessed of merits you lack, being original, interesting or amusing.

    But 290… that’s small potatoes. The other active threads are in the 400s,and one of those in the past week is headed toward 2,000. But hey, if you can’t garner comments at your blog sure, live vicariously in this, somewhat slower than average, thread.

  16. The only interesting comments buried in here are the couple where someone says that I make some pretty good points.

    Create me into this farcical Anti-Hero of the Mangina blog world.

    You realize you’re only talking to yourself and giving yourself credit where no credit is due. You blog-vomit recycled TeRPer nonsense found in dozens of equally poorly written, useless manosphere dump sites. No one is angry at you, no cares about what you have to say and no one wants to debate you because you are incapable of taking part in one. You’re white noise that we’d like shut off, which can only happen if you shove off and pester someone else. Dear God, you’re boring. Your magazine blunder is the single interesting thing about you and David has captured that moment perfectly. You should be grateful, preferably somewhere else.

  17. Jayzus, you are so booooring, Ronnie. What kind of loser has to come here and spout his drivel at people he thinks are so far beneath his notice?

  18. It should also be noted that we didn’t spend most of the time here discussing Ronnie. We talked about cock scrunchies and plans for our fabulous feminist dive bar. Sure, Ronnie’s fuckwitted post was the jumping off point for those topics, but he himself was forgotten pretty quickly.

  19. He’s probably all excited because this is the most attention he’s had in years.

  20. emilygoddess

    Create me into this farcical Anti-Hero of the Mangina blog world.

    LOL. That you think you even rate among the trolls we’ve had is freakin’ adorable.

    I’m a little disappointed in your obsession with the word “mangina”, though. Why are you such a misandrist?

    The only reason we call you out is because you make us tremble? That’s what I mean by lack of self-awareness.

    Right? He thinks he’s got us running scared, when really it’s just that his tl;dr is so irrevocably stupid it’s obviously not worth anyone’s time to try to correct it (for the 183645th time, too, seeing as how he’s said literally nothing original).

    I mean, he got featured in one post here and he thinks he’s our new enemy or something. Self-awareness, indeed.

  21. Argenti Aertheri

    Wait, who’re we turning into an anti-hero? *scrolls up* oh, the OP guy. Sorry, I got distracted by the booze and cock scrunchies.

  22. Unimaginative

    I think cock scrunchies are going to have to go into the welcome basket.

  23. I think we should make up our own magazine here on Manboobz. we’ll call it the Miss Andry Issue where you could learn how to be a misandrist, have kitty pictures, comics and how to make your very own Scented effin Candles!!! Oh and also recipes on how to make Bon bons too.

  24. @fruitloopsie

    This picture would be perfect for the magazine:

  25. I like this magazine idea. We could have articles like “What even are bonbons? Commenters from around the world weigh in” and “top ten most misandric outfits”, and the centerfold would be a different commenter’s pet each month.

  26. Neuroticbeagle

    Puuurfect! Everything is coming together. ::Evil Grin::

    Even though I’m allergic to cats, they are no match for the power of the kitties for I will always love them and desire to be around them.

  27. emilygoddess
    Great! Everyone! More ideas!

  28. Home Decor: are matching towels as misandric as you think?

  29. “And only 2 of you made it over to the comments section of my blog to discuss, so.. The 2 of you who made it,”

    The rest of us decided you didn’t deserve the hits, or traffic.

    “I took the time to discuss the topic fairly and equitably. But as long as you have your troll festival over here,”

    We’re regulars, Ronnie. You’re the troll “here.” Get how that works?

    “…using each other to give you the confidence none of you would have on your own to call me names, that I think are more entertaining than anything else, what do I care? Troll away.”

    Your real name is Ronnie fucking Libra? For serious?

    “Give each other that ego boost. Write a comments section novel about me, some more, why don’t you. Create me into this farcical Anti-Hero of the Mangina blog world. You’re doing good so far. 290′s not bad… Have at it.”

    You’re not that interesting, with or without the shitty grammar.

    Bye-bye.

    Anyone up to drinks later?

  30. Ronnie, did those two comments bring your total to five for that sharticle? You’re not exactly swimming in traffic, you know.

    Ronnie’s too dumb to be embarrassed.

  31. Shoraz: As a Libra, I really wish Ronnie would change his name. #NotallLibras

  32. ^Shiraz. Sorry for the typo. I will be gud typist one day.

  33. emilygoddess

    Scented candles: which scents are best for repelling men?

    10 hot new styles for your armpit hair!

    “I literally don’t need men for anything”: lesbians tell all!

  34. For the magazine:

    the most misandric uses for scrunchies

    tips on how to be the best furrinati servant

    How to be a whore: tips from penguins

    Hard chairs and how to make men sit in them

  35. Bon-bons For Any Occassion

    Misandry–It’s Not Just For Breakfast!

  36. (and Jolly Rancher vodka makes an interesting Cosmopolitan).

    Jolly Rancher Sour Apple-tinis are a thing that I could make?
    *heavy breathing*

  37. As a Libra, I really wish Ronnie would change his name. #NotallLibras

    As a Libra’s spouse, ditto!

    ….

    Leg Hair Conditioner: we test the five most popular brands

    Furrinati Overlords share their misandry secrets

  38. Kitteh, that’s right, Mr. K. and I share a birthday.

  39. I just remembered that, hellkell! :)

  40. fruitloopsie

    OMGG (oh my goodness girls) these are great! Can someone please help me to create artwork for the magazine!? Finally my dream to be a writer and illustrator are finally coming true ::cries:: thanks guys.

    More ideas:

    Cartoon/anime girls are misandry because they’re not real

    Romance novels are porn

    Creep-shaming 101 how to spot a creep!

    The Adventures of Grumpy cat and the Friendzoner (if you don’t know who they are then use google)

  41. Argenti Aertheri

    *shakes fist* no magazine! Last time we had this convo it went from Manboobz: The Magazining to Feminist Borg. Which you can find by clicking my nym, and you are all welcome to write for! Use the contact form and I’ll get you added!

  42. wow……….. ronnies still at it?

    The only interesting comments buried in here are the couple where someone says that I make some pretty good points.

    “The only interesting comments here are the ones that stroke my ego”

  43. Argenti’s correct! All this magazine energy, can we channel it into Feminist Borg?

  44. Regarding beet mead, I’ve done some Googling

    I’ve asked my friend if zie will share zir recipe.

  45. I’m afraid my magazine energy only runs to the occasional silly headline.

  46. Modern PickUp isn’t that manipulative anymore. Get over it, mangina.

  47. marinerachel

    Brilliant contribution.

    And no, techniques like negging aren’t manipulative at all!

  48. Because insulting a man be implying he’s like a woman’s reproductive canal is totally not misogynistic!

    You can totally trust me about PUA.

    Yeah, riiiiiiight. Sure.

  49. Oh, the wit, the artistic use of language, the elegance of GG’s reort. Surely, we have another Oscar Wilde on our hands. /sarcasm

  50. What PUAs think they’re like:

    What they’re really like:

  51. “Modern PickUp isn’t that manipulative anymore.”

    Let’s read that again.

    “Modern PickUp isn’t THAT manipulative ANYMORE.”

    So it is manipulative, just not quite as manipulative as Ye Olde PUA of Yore.

    Hey, GG. You said it, not us.

  52. This was featured on the Daily Cringe.
    This is a PUA being a creep and then getting banned from a mall.
    He’s skin crawlingly, patheticly, creepy.

  53. That’s “the game” these cretins are selling to young men and teenage boys. This is how PUAs tell men to act toward women.

    Seeing how uncomfortable he’s making these women does nothing to dissuade this jerk, because he does not care. That’s what he’s been taught by his “mentors”.

    It’s harassment and it’s disgusting.

  54. “Modern PickUp isn’t THAT manipulative ANYMORE.”

    So it is manipulative, just not quite as manipulative as Ye Olde PUA of Yore.

    Yeah, but it isn’t THAT manipulative. SOME manipulation is totally okay, because women aren’t people.

  55. @Lea, That’s probably one of the most painful videos I’ve ever watched.

  56. That video is so hilarious, but also gross because I can’t even count the number of times guys just like that bothered me and/or a friend I was with.

    The most pathetic thing is that he struck out every single time and he still thinks he’s smooth. It never occurs to him once that he is using the wrong approach and being creepy.

  57. Seeing how uncomfortable he’s making these women does nothing to dissuade this jerk, because he does not care. That’s what he’s been taught by his “mentors”.

    It’s basically the “shit tests” they claim women put men through. A woman who objects their first wave of bullshit won’t be susceptible to further manipulation.

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