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No one wants to plant his seed in a garbage dump: MGTOWers explain why they prefer "chaste" women

Uh oh.
Uh oh.

Let’s take another stroll through the strange wonderland of Men Going Their Own Way, that small and bitter tribe of men who boldly declare their independence from women, then spend the rest of their lives obsessively talking about them.

Today, let’s look at the thoughtful discussion that ensued when one such fellow known as TDG asked his Brothers in Going Their Own Way why, of all the women they have Gone Their Own Way from (but not really), they tend to prefer women who are “chaste.”

For women, I’m guessing the main reason they weren’t so slutty before the 1950s, was because of the fear of having a bastard womb turd, but the pill changed all that and now they can have as many dicks as they like.

Now, I wont ever marry again and my ex-wife was a virgin and all that went to shit, but here’s my question;

Why do men want women that are chaste…?

I understand on a visceral level, that if a woman has had too many dicks, I can never care for her more than a cum rag, but I’m curious if that is societal conditioning or something that is innate to men…

Thoughts gentlemen…?

Unsurprisingly, the gentlemen of the MGTOW HQ forum did indeed have many thoughts on the subject.  (I’ve bolded the most intriguing bits.)

ManWithAPlan had an economic explanation:

Because by going through the “bad boy” phase, they fuck away their only worth. There are three things I look for in a woman (mainly). Attractiveness, fertility and youth. If a woman is attractive and young, but can’t have kids, most men will treat her as a cum rag. If she’s fertile and young, but not attractive, she’s still no good to most men. If she’s old and attractive, she’s back to being a cougar and a cum rag.

Multishadow brought in biology:

[B]iologically speaking women represent a fertile ground for man to plant his seed, and no one wants to plant his seed in a garbage dump.

Second, a man must work to earn a woman, and then invest in her.. and no man wants to work for what others gain for free, or for what was freely given out in the past. There is also resentment for a female gaining sex freely, when a man must work for it.

And that is the third issue, people in general have a distaste for those who are gluttons for pleasure. … It is one thing to obtain sex when you want it, but if your only purpose in life is laying around having sex.. it is like watching an obese person eat.

That’s right: people who have a lot of sex are basically sex fatties. And no one likes a fatty, right?

Aldenhamil suggested that chaste women were a better bargain for frugal men:

Just having random sex is one thing and any old cum dumpster will usually do, but settling down with a woman, having children, and providing for them is something altogether different. It’s a massive investment of time, energy, and resources. Men naturally lean towards frugality and appreciate getting the most bang for their buck. When it comes to women>children>family, it’s a better bet to invest in a woman who isn’t swinging from every cock in town.

Men instinctively know that whores make poor long-term investments, but they also instinctively know that all women will become whores if given the opportunity. The whole situation is a bit of a clusterfuck, really. It was a problem for Bronze Age societies, and it’s still a problem long after we’ve managed to put human beings in outer space.

Ghost Rider noted that “chaste” women won’t have had a lot of other guys to compare you to, so chances are good she won’t know how mediocre you are in bed:

From my observations, the more men a woman has been with, the greater the chance that she is carrying at least one torch if not more for some guy that dumped her. I believe the term is alpha widow. Seen quite a few times where a woman dumps hubby to get back with a guy she was carrying a torch for, or at least conduct a torrid affair with the guy when he came a calling.

In addition, she is more likely to get back on the cock carousel trying to recapture what she thought she had when she was younger. Also, a woman who hasn’t ridden the cock carousel is a lot less judgmental in the bedroom because she isn’t comparing you to the hundreds of guys she’s been in the sack with. If you’re an average guy, you’re probably not at the same level as the alpha thug with the huge cock that fucked the shit out of her all night. If you’re dumb enough to get married/remarried, who the hell needs that shit in addition to everything else.

Demonsgate, meanwhile, seems to be more terrified of being judged by other guys than by the women he dates:

Real simple because in my younger days when I walked into a bar or restaurant with a twat I didn’t want all you bastards laughing saying yep we all fucked her and this fool is dating her. Who wants to be that guy?

Mongolking answered TDG’s question with his own question:

I think the larger question is “Why Do We Want Them… At All?”

Given that this discussion is taking place on a forum devoted to Men Going Their Own Way, this seems like a reasonable enough question.

And I’ll give you all an answer: If you hate women so much you regularly describe them as “cum rags,” “cum dumpsters,” “garbage dumps,” “whores,” “twats,” or any of the other horrible things said by guys in this thread about women in the equally awful comments I didn’t quote, you should take that Going Your Own Way shit a little bit more seriously. Go your own way. Go a long way, off a short pier.

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katz
6 years ago

Random Loser,

Can you predict, based on my posts what my favorite kind of cheese is?

*Fingers on temples a la James McAvoy’s Charles Xavier*

Manchego?

Michelle C Young
6 years ago

@sparky:
“But just because a woman is a virgin, doesn’t mean she doesn’t value sex. Just because a woman values sex doesn’t mean she’s not willing to wait for it. Just because a woman values sex and/or is not a virgin doesn’t mean she is comparing her current partner to past partner(s), and finding the current one lacking. Just because a past partner has satisfied a woman doesn’t mean she can’t possibly be satisfied with her current partner. And just because a woman has focused on her education and/or career does not mean he sex life has suffered.”

THIS. So much THIS.

Seriously, I am a mass of contradictions. I am a woman who has willingly waited her whole life (I am in my early 40’s) for sex, and am likely to wait quite a bit longer, because I believe FOR ME in waiting for marriage, and there are no current prospects for that. Seriously, even in my daydreams, I can’t get to sex until my dream-lover and I are married. Never could. It’s weird. I also get extremely horny, especially right before my period, and believe me, I LOOK FORWARD to having sex with my husband. I have lots of honeymoon-fantasies then. However, having been witness to a whole lot of messy break-ups, as much as I value sex, I value certain other personality characteristics more. Also, I’ve waited this long, if I have to choose between a man who physically does it for me, and a man who fills my soul with joy, I’ll take the soul joy, because I know I can deal with celibacy, so I can certainly also deal with a less-than-adequate sex life. I *want* sex, but do not *need* sex, or I would have exploded fifteen years ago. There’s a difference. It’s important to me, but other things are more important to me. Kindness, patience, and a good sense of fun rank right at the top. Also, I have no problem with the idea of using sex toys and masturbation within marriage, to make sure that both partners have their needs met, whatever that level of libido is. I’d be willing to try BDSM, if it floats his boat. I do have a problem with bringing in outside lovers to fill the need, but I totally understand that other people are completely OK with that, and polyamory is a real thing. If my husband is into polyamory, that’s something to discuss and strategize about before the wedding. For instance, maybe role-playing would help fulfill his needs in that respect, while maintaining my need for monogamy. Wigs and stage make-up? No problem. Communication and compromise are key. The most important thing to me is that he shares my understanding of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. My faith is important to me, and that is just one of my deal-breakers. Not that we couldn’t be friends, but to share a life together, for ME it is important to share, at a minimum, that particular piece of faith. Note – I did not say, “He must be a Mormon, like me.” I said he has to share my understanding of the Atonement. Not all Mormons do share that understanding. They probably think I’ve got it wrong. These are things we need to discuss BEFORE committing.

TEAL DEAR – I am complex, and so are my needs/desires for a sexual relationship.

The thing is, I’m reasonably sure that I am not the only mass of contradictions in the world. Women are not a monolith. We’re all so different from each other. You just have to be open, and keep looking for the one who fits your specific needs.

@Undfreedland
Just be sure that what you need is real, and not what someone else told you you need. Did the “I need a virgin” idea come from someone else? Is that someone really happy? Is that someone *so much like you* that their needs and desires can truly be used as a template for your own? If not, then it probably won’t really make you happy, after all.

If you are serious, then self-examination seems in order here. Know yourself, and you will know what to look for in a woman.

Unless you’re just trolling, just to troll, in which case, please go away.

Lea
Lea
6 years ago

“Yeah, I’m a virgin, but I read a lot, and I listen to a lot of people, and try to educate myself for the time I finally do have sex. So, looking for a virgin guarantees nothing in the ignorance department.

Ignorance is NOT bliss. Ignorance is ignorance.”

All of this!

undfreeleand,
I heard a caller asking Dan Savage (Season 1 or 2…I dunno) how to help her husband, (who was really into swinging with her) to explain to people that they swung with that he could not get it up for strangers, even though he liked having sex with them. He was gung ho to do manual and oral stuff on the first date, but it took his cock longer to warm up to new friends.

If he has an experienced wife and multiple partners and can still be open about his shy penis, so can you.

You take a long time to orgasm? Factor that into your sex life. Tell women up front, “Look, I may not get hard the first few goes and when I do, you may not be able to get me to cum. So, let’s make this all about you and you be a pillow princess for a few nights.” If she’s prepared and your confident, you can both relax and have fun. That doesn’t mean everything will work out peachy all the time, but at least you’ll be honest with the people you are intimate with.

Now please, go forth and stop being an embittered misogynist who uses words like “settle” when he talks about his prospective lovers. That doesn’t show much affection for them or for yourself.

Michelle C Young
6 years ago

For the “what books do I have checked out of the library?” game:

Using the methodology of “my experience + limited knowledge of pseudo stranger on the internet = answer” — Nothing. You can’t find your library card.

Lea
Lea
6 years ago

“I am complex, and so are my needs/desires for a sexual relationship.”

You could definitely put that on a T-shirt and plenty of people would wear it.

Ally S
6 years ago

Wetherby: And as a male who hasn’t (as far as I recall) been attacked by [Pecunium],

We’ve disagreed. The difference is you’ve not been 1: lacking in logical coherence. 2: inclined to treat one bunch of humanity as intrinsically flawed by virtue of biology.

Addendum:

3: inclined to judge a bunch of humanity that has a biological constitution not typically associated with that bunch of humanity alluded to (trans women)

Anyone who discriminates against trans women is automatically a misogynist because transmisogyny is simply another form of misogyny.

Marie
6 years ago

“For the “what books do I have checked out of the library?” game:

Using the methodology of “my experience + limited knowledge of pseudo stranger on the internet = answer” — Nothing. You can’t find your library card.”

Ooh i wanna play! 😀

You checked out: nothing recently. You’ve been avoiding the library cuz you owe late fees.

katz
6 years ago

For the “what books do I have checked out of the library?” game:

Using the methodology of “my experience + limited knowledge of pseudo stranger on the internet = answer” — Nothing. You can’t find your library card.

Right back at you: It’s in your wallet. You just keep mistaking it for your Rite Aid Wellness Plus card because they’re the same color.

Shadow
Shadow
6 years ago

@weirwoodtreehugger

I have never, ever heard a woman complain about a guy who give oral. Not once. I’m having a hard time buying this.

I’ve had a couple of friends say they don’t enjoy receiving oral sex, both men and women. Obviously this doesn’t mean it’s PIV or bust for them though, and even if it did, it wouldn’t mean that they represent all of humanity. I’m not just being argumentative, the notion that everyone loves oral sex has made it hard for them to get some of their partners to understand and respect their boundaries.

I do actually feel more comfortable with people who are around the same experience level as me but that’s because I’m arse at vocalising and setting my boundaries sexually and I’ve had more luck maintaining my boundaries with women who are not much more experienced than me. This is obviously a flawed tactic because there are women who are as experienced as me who are very eager to gain more experiences and/or are less experienced at picking up on their lovers’ cues as far as discomfort goes both physically and emotionally. And, as has been ably demonstrated both in this thread and real life, there are many experienced women that are more skilled at meeting their lovers at their comfort level than someone whose inexperienced. Crucially, however, I recognize that this is MY hangup, and don’t foist it on women and demand that they solve it.

Michelle C Young
6 years ago

@weirwoodtreehugger: “I have never, ever heard a woman complain about a guy who give oral. Not once. I’m having a hard time buying this.”

Your point is so valid! I have heard two (ONLY 2) women complain that they do not like to receive oral sex. However, neither one complained about the man who gave it to them. They loved that he was willing, and were disappointed to discover that particular act just did not push their buttons. They both went on to discover what *did* turn them on, and have had fulfilling sex lives since then, with those very same men.

tinyorc
6 years ago

@undfreedland
I really hate to break this to you, but most inexperienced women still know what bad sex feels like. Even if they don’t realise it immediately because excitement of the first time/being with a new person etc, they’ll figure out pretty soon. Most people – even people who don’t spend much time thinking about sex or exploring their own desires – know that feeling bored and listless while you’re naked with another person ≠ good sex.

Fortunately, sex is a skill you can work on! Someone upthread mentioned reading erotica written by women, which is a great idea. Introduce toys. Explore kinks. Sex is so so SO much more than sticking body parts inside other body parts. Communicate. I don’t have a study for this or anything, but I can confirm from personal experience that sex is approximately one million billion times better when you actively communicate with your partner before, after and during. Also, there are plenty of women out there with low to moderate sex drives who will be pleasantly surprised to meet a guy who wants to take it slow when it comes to sex (because a lot of guys, regardless of their personal preferences, feel pressured to play the role of the virile manly man who literally never does not want sex).

Also, there is a large proportion of women who typically find it quite difficult to climax, and therefore don’t consider orgasms the holy grail of sex. I certainly don’t, despite having a higher-than-average sex drive. Don’t get me wrong, orgasms are lovely, but honestly I used to worry about orgasms so much that it actively interfered with my enjoyment of sex: “Am I going to have one? Will his feelings be hurt? What should I say? Oh damn, now I’m worrying about it, which distracting me from the sex that is happening right now, which means I’m definitely not going to cum!” As soon as I stopped worrying, sex became so much better, and I even started having more orgasms because I wasn’t so bloody fixated on my inability to have them that I could just let go and enjoy myself. Guess how I came to this awesome realization, that improved sex for me exponentially and also took a lot of unnecessary pressure of my partners? That’s right! EXPERIENCE.

So yeah, I echo everyone else who has said what you really need is an experienced woman. You don’t get better at chess by playing with people who have literally just learned the rules. Find someone who knows what she likes and how to ask for it. Because honestly, your ex doesn’t sound like she was great at sex, as well as being kind of a shitty person. If she was faking sexual enjoyment for years, how could you possibly know what you were doing wrong and how to improve? Her inability or unwillingness to communicate anything useful about her sexual desires during a two year relationship is totally her problem, not yours.

Go into any and all sexual encounters with enthusiasm, generosity and willingness to learn, and you can’t really go wrong. Even if you do go wrong, that’s a learning opportunity too… not just for “technique” or whatever, but for you to figure out something new about you and your sex drive and ergo what kind of partner you would be most compatible with.

This has been tinyorc’s driveby sex counselling service.

Michelle C Young
6 years ago

Thanks, Lea!

Ally S – On point #3. Second that.

Bina
Bina
6 years ago

Und, you sound confused. Have a little light reading. And when you’re done with that, go do some heavy reading. And whatever you do, don’t pull weird stories out of your ass around here, ‘kay?

khymchanur
khymchanur
6 years ago

@RandomPoster

Paragraph breaks: learn them. Love them.

hellkell
hellkell
6 years ago

Paragraph break are misandry!

Robert
Robert
6 years ago

Howard Bannister – by some ridiculous, meaningless coincidence, I have Pratchett’s “Long Earth” checked out as we speak *.

The ‘human predictability’ issue makes me think of sovereign citizens, who, with apparent sincerity, believe that a certain combination of words in a specific order will cause them to become invulnerable to governmental authority. Like ceremonial magicians, but without the work or intelligence. Also, when I read Random Pester’s references to ‘human females ‘ I imagine it being said with a Ferengi accent for some reason.

*We’re not literally speaking, but then you knew that.

Skye
Skye
6 years ago

Michelle, what does CNMO stand for (I think it was in this thread; I’m getting them blurred a bit)

Robert
Robert
6 years ago

Skye, I believe it’s ‘non-committee make out’. I Googled it – surprised the heck out of me. There’s a lot to cultural Mormonism that does not get brought up by the missionaries; must be part of the ‘milk before meat’ approach.

Robert
Robert
6 years ago

Sorry, non-committed. Fie on thee, autocorrect!

kittehserf
6 years ago

Arctic Ape:

BTW, if anyone ends up depicting Leum’s vision of Justinian wearing a fedora before the Nika crowd, the fedora must be purple, ‘cos that was the imperial color of Rome.

How about this, then?

Michelle C Young
6 years ago

NCMO – Non-committal make-out. It’s by no means a “milk before meat” doctrine thing. It’s not doctrine, at all. I never heard of it until I went to college in Utah.

There is Mormon doctrine and Mormon culture. Although I was brought up by a Utah Mormon, I was brought up far away from Utah, and avoided a lot of the Mormon culture. I was quite shocked by it, when I went to Utah. However, I’m glad of that experience, because I learned how to differentiate between culture and doctrine. When the cognitive dissonance sets in, I can say, “That’s not actually doctrine. It’s not in the scriptures,” and move on.

Sometimes, though, it can be problematic.

Michelle C Young
6 years ago

I nearly spewed Coke all over my screen at that pic, kittehserf! Thanks!

Bina
Bina
6 years ago

ZOMG, that fedora-Justinian looks like Father Guido Sarducci. Dying of laughter here!

kittehserf
6 years ago

Thank you, thank you! ::bows::

Robert – non-committee make out sounds kind of interesting. I’m trying to work out if committee make outs would be committees making out, or committees organising make outs, or committees watching other people making out.

pecunium
6 years ago

katz: I recuse myself from guessing specific titles, because that way lies madness. I also have some other intimations which tell me you have books about WW2, and Nazis in particular.

But I’m not using Pester John’s method. On that basis I think you to be reading about bronze statuary of the classical period.

kittehserf
6 years ago

Forgot to add, standing ovation for your comment here, Michelle. So much of that speaks to me, particularly about sex as a want, not a need (how the dudebros hate being told they won’t actually die if they don’t get sex on demand). My man and I were in love for over a quarter century before we finally got in contact, and much as I wished for sex, there were SO many more important things about him than that. And hey, Random Douchecanoe, where size matters, it’s not at all about bigger is better. On the contrary, I’m not in the least interested in having a huge penis inside me, nor for that matter in having a huge man. A guy being three inches taller’n me is ample. I do not like being loomed over.

katz
6 years ago

The tile texture is a nice touch! I expect this to go in our DA group.

kittehserf
6 years ago

Yes ma’am! ::salutes::

You feeling better yet, katz? I’m in jetlag zombieland.

Drat, left out the html – Michelle’s comment here.

wewereemergencies
wewereemergencies
6 years ago

Ooh people who have read The Long Earth!! Do you mind if I squee at you about it? I love it so much and the only person I know IRL who is inclined to understand why (non-human people clearly portrayed as both of those things! non-anthropocentric parallel universes! clear disdain for humanity’s ego! AI’s that are actually intelligent!) is too lazy to read the books.

Ahem, don’t mind me. Just over here fangirling over Terry Pratchett.

katz
6 years ago

Yes, I’m feeling better. I’m really sorry I didn’t get to meet you and Cloudiah, though!

kittehserf
6 years ago

Glad you’re better, and likewise!

You’d have been proud of us, though. We went into Shopping Enabler mode.

cloudiah
6 years ago

How about this, then?

I sporfled. Glad you’re feeling better, katz, and hope you get out of jetlag zombieland, kittehs! I have a flight to NYC tomorrow at 6 am, which means leaving my place around 3:45 am. I am not looking forward to the sound of my alarm clock! I dropped the kitties at their boarder today, and they were NOT happy about it–there will be cat anger consequences this time, I am sure.

kittehserf
6 years ago

3.45 am

Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Just tell the kitties you’re already being punished by having to get up so early and do such a long trip (what is it, about 6-8 hours to NYC?)

Lea
Lea
6 years ago

Kittehserf,
Fedora sportin Justinian is perfect!

Tracy
6 years ago

Long Earth squee-ing? I am in! Not finished the book yet, but LOVE it.

Re: the size matters thing. When I was a phone sex gal, soooooo many guys would tell me they had these enormous cocks. The younger they were, the larger their cock (generally). 18-yr-old guys would be all ‘yeah, I got 12 inches baby’ and I’d be like ‘sweetheart, that’s like the size of an assorted sub.’ I always felt sad that they had this idea of penis size being the be-all-end-all and made an effort to not encourage it.

cloudiah
6 years ago

Well, last time they were so happy that I returned that there was no punishment, but I can’t be that lucky twice.

The place I board them has about 25 permanent residents — cats that owners just left there, without ever returning to pick them up. The business owner keeps them forever, and pays their food/vet bills. How could a person just leave their cat and not come pick them up!??! O_o

LBT
LBT
6 years ago

Seriously, did everybody let Random Dumbass get by with the “can’t teach size” thing? DUDE THERE ARE DILDOS. YOU CAN BUY THEM. FOR REALLY FUCKING CHEAP EVEN.

Seriously, you can get cock-shaped toys in every size under the fucking sun! You can even wear them on various parts of your body so you can best use them as is comfortable!

Why on earth do heterosexuals rule the world? “Can’t buy size,” my gay ass!

LBT
LBT
6 years ago

Also, you can get insertable toys in other shapes! Yes, you can get that damn unicorn horn or tentacle that you’ve always wanted! Human ingenuity and engineering, everybody!

I feel so, so sorry for any woman Random Doofus is with, if he doesn’t even realize DILDOS exist. Oy gevalt!

cassandrakitty
6 years ago

Ugh, I just got to Undfreeland’s comment at just after 2 and I’m sorry that I gave him an opening to TMI at everyone. Since he already has, though – dude, you are not going to find any sympathy here for the idea that you should get to take advantage of someone else’s lack of experience as a way to avoid facing your own insecurities. This is a you problem, not a sexually experienced women being horrible problem (which idea, btw? still misogyny).

kittehserf
6 years ago

Lea – thanks! 🙂

LBT –

Seriously, did everybody let Random Dumbass get by with the “can’t teach size” thing? DUDE THERE ARE DILDOS. YOU CAN BUY THEM. FOR REALLY FUCKING CHEAP EVEN.

Nope, dildos and other toys were mentioned in response.

Cassandra – eh, more mocking opportunities, I’d call it.

wewereemergencies
wewereemergencies
6 years ago

@Tracy

It’s all kinds of brilliant, isn’t it? Since you haven’t finished it yet, I won’t say too much, but seriously this is everything I want from sci-fi. I’m not even particularly invested in the characters, I just want to know everything about that world. I really want to figure out how it all works – I’ve got my own theories, and there are more hints in the second book, but I really want to know.

Michelle C Young
6 years ago

Thanks, Kittehserf.

OK, now I have to get my hands on that book. I love Terry Pratchett.

Where is my library card, darn it?

Anarchonist
Anarchonist
6 years ago

@undfreeland

It varies. Sometimes it’s women I meet like that. Sometimes it’s women I”ve known for years.

The ex who told me it was a turn off if she had to tell me, I dated for two years. After a year she told me that she’d been faking her sexual enjoyment, and told me that I should just be able to please her naturally, as the men she’d been with before had done. We stayed together, barely having sex, mostly because of what I think was her low self-esteem. She left me for a guy that she cheated on me with about a year later because, in her words, he gave her “the best sex she’d ever had.”

That whooshing sound? That’s the sound of the point flying over your head at 100 mph.

Dude, I get it: You had a crappy relationship with someone who didn’t care about you very much. It happens. It might make you feel sad, and angry even, for a time, especially since you wanted more from the relationship. That’s understandable. What your experience doesn’t do, however, is justify misogyny. You chose to be with that person. Learn from the experience and move on. It’s not the ‘experienced’ part that made your ex bad relationship material, it’s the ‘bad relationship material’ part that made her bad relationship material. Learn to recognize the signs and make sure not to go after the same kind of person again. Your logical leap of “women who are experienced -> bad women with whom you should never be in a relationship” is indefensible, and based on nothing else than age-old misogynistic beliefs about what a good girl should be.

One personal experience pitted against another: My more experienced SO has never, ever compared me to her exes, except sometimes in a positive way (protip: contrary to what you seem to think, being eager to learn can be a very sexy quality in the eyes of a woman). I consider myself lucky to have met a mature, adult person who treats others like full human beings instead of body parts. Do consider in return that you might just have met, and for some inexplicable reason I can’t quite fathom stayed in a two-year relationship with, a shallow, mean-spirited person (assuming you’re not just looking through bitter-tainted glasses right now). They’re not, like, even a fraction of the people out there. Stop universalizing your own bad experience to a whole group of people. If I did that, I’d currently go around thinking all dentists like to crush little kids’ self-esteem for shits and giggles.

Wait, what do you mean they all do that?

Arctic Ape
Arctic Ape
6 years ago

Kittenserf:

How about this, then?

Hagia Basileia!

Arctic Ape
Arctic Ape
6 years ago

Somehow I suspect that an inexperienced woman would be even more likely to buy into the idea that sex should work out without explicit communication.

As for me, I’m such an awkward guy that in my youth I sort of intuitively assumed sex must be negotiated verbally. There was some cognitive dissonance with mainstream cultural ideas about sex. Everything settled down nicely when I started extensively reading sex-positive blogs, most of all Pervocracy. If my hypothetical partner doesn’t like communication, I can’t please them and they certainly can’t please me.

Also, you can get insertable toys in other shapes! Yes, you can get that damn unicorn horn or tentacle that you’ve always wanted! Human ingenuity and engineering, everybody!

As Pat Califia once concluded in an essay, “God bless America”.

kittehserf
6 years ago

Arctic Ape – 🙂

titianblue
titianblue
6 years ago

Random Pester, you are a selfish shit-stain. Your whole ambition is to find a woman who has had either no or a crappy sex life and then inflict a crappy sex life on her in the hope that she never realises. You wish to condemn her to a crappy sex life for the rest of her life, just to appease your pathetic ego. And you think you’re the victim in all this

titianblue
titianblue
6 years ago

You know what, RandomPester, if your hopes had been to find a woman with similar sexual needs/desires to your own & to ensure you both understood each other, we’d all be being pretty supportive.

But no, you want to trap a woman & hold onto her through ignorance. You are utterly contemptible.

Howard Bannister
6 years ago

Howard Bannister – by some ridiculous, meaningless coincidence, I have Pratchett’s “Long Earth” checked out as we speak *.

So let me see…

I was wrong about Katz, about Marie, and about Michelle.

But I was right* about Robert.

I think I now have a better hit rate than PUAs. (so long as I quit now, while I’m statisticaly ahead) (based on memories of one PUA who actually admitted his statistics here rather than confounding them… regulars might remember who I mean)

Obvious proof that I am telepathic. OBVIOUS.

Marie
6 years ago

@howard bannister

I, for one, welcome you as one of my telepathic overlords!:D