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Men’s Rights Poetry Corner: “Feminists Killed Kurt Cobain.”

Kurt Cobain, RIP

Kurt Cobain, RIP

Yesterday, several days after the twentieth anniversary of Kurt Cobain’s suicide, A Voice for Men took a moment to honor the brilliant musician who tragically ended his life at the age of only 27.

Well, not exactly. What they actually did was run a terrible poem using the anniversary of Cobain’s death as an excuse to launch an extended attack on the supposed evils of feminism.

Here’s the opening:

Feminists killed Kurt Cobain
Men my age are all the same
They hate themselves & feel ashamed
For what they are & cannot change

It gets worse. The poem, written by a YouTube MRA calling himself Laudanum Byron, continues on for another 104 lines after this. Only 13 refer to Cobain, and five of these are simply repetitions of the opening accusation: “feminists killed Kurt Cobain.”

The rest of the poem consists of an assortment of Men’s Rights talking points sketched out in the most melodramatic manner possible.

Men chastised, demonized,
Healthy males pathologized
A man is just a dirty ape
Longing, lust, desire: all rape
Your body is a loaded gun
And all that it has done is wrong

Like all too many MRAs, Mr. Byron lets his anger at women get the better of his logic. In the following lines, for example, he lashes out at women both for living off of the earnings of men — and for earning money of their own.

Now the girls get told get what you can
After all, he’s just a man
You’re right to think it’s right to take
Yes you go girl, you make him pay
The girls get taught they must get on
Like work empowered anyone:
To sell your life for dollar bills
Taking calls & stacking shelves
In offices & factories
Fulfilment sought in drudgery

Mr. Byron – no relation, one presumes, to the actual Byron – seems to have only a rudimentary notion of what a poem actually is. While most, though not all, of his lines scan, he has persistent troubles with the concept of rhyme, with his aabb and aabbcc rhyme schemes dominated by half-rhymes and quarter-rhymes and, well, the words have some similar sounds in them.

“Bills” and “shelves” don’t rhyme, or half-rhyme, despite both ending in the letter “s.” “Take” and “pay” aren’t even remotely close.

Admittedly, “chivalry” is a tough one to rhyme. But surely one can do better than “steeds.”

White knights, on their hobbled steeds
Still cling to laws of chivalry
Passed over by the queens they save
A joke to all the other slaves

When he pulls off an actual rhyme, it comes a surprise:

All of us the sons of Cain
Feminists killed Kurt Cobain.

But while we’re on the topic, it’s worth pointing out that feminists and/or feminism did not actually kill Kurt Cobain. (Nor did anyone else; the conspiracy theories suggesting he was murdered don’t make a lot of sense.)

Byron’s only “evidence” linking feminism to the suicide?

He screamed onstage & pierced his flesh
Put on make-up, wore a dress

Look, nobody knows for sure the reason or reasons Cobain took his own life, but he was a troubled man with a history of suicide attempts. He suffered from depression and from a painful, persistent stomach ailment. He was addicted to heroin. And as his suicide note made clear, he found the fame he had achieved to be something of an intolerable burden; he felt like a fake. Like a lot of suicides, Cobain’s could be seen as psychologically overdetermined;  it could have been caused by any or all of these things.

Using his suicide to score cheap rhetorical points against feminism is not only dishonest but highly disrespectful to his memory.

To top off this gigantic platter of disrespect, whoever wrote the headline on AVFM didn’t even bother to spell Cobain’s first name correctly. It’s Kurt, with a K.

avfmCurt

Below, “Byron’s” own reading of his poem. If you can’t bear listening to it — I only made it a couple of stanzas in before I had to shut it off — you can make your way to AVFM, or to YouTube, to read the rest. I feel safe in saying that Kurt, who considered himself a feminist, would have hated it, and A Voice for Men as well.

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Posted on April 8, 2014, in a voice for men, a woman is always to blame, antifeminism, citation needed, evil women, gross incompetence, irony alert, men who should not ever be with women ever, misogyny, MRA and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 166 Comments.

  1. Just heard that Joan Jett is likely to front for Nirvana at their Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction. Ha ha, MRAs.

    Oh awesome! I wonder what they’ll play. Whatever it is, I just know it will have these fools eating their hateful hearts out.

  2. THIS IS THE FIRST POETRY SLAM I’VE EVER MC’ED AND I GOTTA SAY, ALL THIS MISANDRY AND UNCHECKED FEMALE PRIVILEGE JUST WARMS THE COCKLES OF MY HEART. IT’S GOING TO BE IMPOSSIBLE TO PICK A WINNER, BUT THEN AGAIN, SO IS WOMEN BEING GOOD AT SCIENCE, AND MOTHAFUCKIN ROSALIND FRANKLIN WANTS A WORD! LET ME TRY MY HAND AT A COUPLE HAIKUS!

    Messages from the AVFM mailing list
    by tesformes

    Thirty feminists
    armed with sharpened box cutters
    No, for real, thirty!

    I don’t hate women
    I just think they’re kinda dumb
    And kinda worthless

    I’m not like most girls
    I’m a rape apologist
    A special snowflake

    The thing I hate most
    Is false rape accusation
    Unless I do it

    I love Sodini
    Not because he killed women
    I just like his hair

    That bitch Sarkeesian
    Why can’t men have a safe space?
    Like the Internet?

    Rape jokes aren’t cool
    Oh, you’re a male feminist?
    I hope you get raped

    Give money to Paul
    He spends it on his porn bills
    And not on bon-bons

    and, finally…

    Misandry is real
    A woman on the late bus
    Didn’t talk to me

    CAN WE KEEP THIS POETRY SLAM ROLLING? FIBINACHI IS STILL IN THE LEAD FOR WINNER, BUT SINCE EVERYONE HERE IS A SOCK OF DAVID’S, WE’RE ALL WINNERS! KEEP ON POURING YOUR IRRATIONAL, NON-STEM EMOTIONS ONTO THE PAGE, AND THE MEN WILL CORRECT YOU AND TELL YOU HOW YOU SHOULD FEEL.

  3. *snap snap snap*

  4. I have eaten
    the rights
    of the mens

    and the boners
    you were probably
    saving
    for a boner thing

    forgive me
    they were delicious
    so sweet
    and full of boner

  5. One

    Two

    one-two-three

    (Try to sing along)

    I realized today

    With a terrible thought

    that all of my rhyming
    ….. has gone quite for naught

    To eternally lambaster
    these assfax masters
    spurred on by a frail web that faaaaaaails
    No wit or grace or clever phrase
    no smile or glint or hard-fact-flint
    Can seem to dent
    their ig-nor-ance
    or make a break in their pretense
    So hence, my innocence is gone in a sense
    and I have a decision I feel will meet some derision…

    ….

    ….

    …. Dear Manboobz, Sir Furtrelle
    the posters, the others, I wish you all well
    But I fear
    this ends here
    For I’ve got a thing to tell

    Iiiiii’veee goooneeeeee:

    Over to Roosh’es
    I’ve joined with Douches
    My morals made a woosh
    As I kicked them with a swoosh
    Down the drain where my empathy went!
    I relent on my yammering, I’m done with the hammering, these days all I’ll do is…
    All I’ll do is…
    Fart around with the FartisteHeartiste
    whine about about the lack of nazi’s
    Sure could use some segregation in this nation
    Though I think it’s a bit odd, the conjecture’s pretty broad
    and wait how will that help me get laid OH NEVERMIND–

    I’ve got an admission, I’ve made subscription
    to a mailing list of which the gist is to make a fist and be all pissed at those that bitch so my day consist of making lists of things to say to assist my way to get the lay and to persist till I get kissed ‘cuz at some point they can’t resist and I’ve only been maced eight times so I won’t desist! I must say; because

    Not caring is almost easy, my hair is all greasy and though I feel queasy when I’m being sleazy it’s not so bad to kill yourself a tad for a single smile full of pity from some lady slut who thinks my prepared lines are witty (They’re designed by commitee of posters online, and I write Field Reports in my spare time to fill my mind with… with… the information I have been assigned. Find: NicePerson, delete, be unkind - access Soul.exe
    replace with debris
    Initiate GrowGoatee
    My humanity is now a detainee

    I’ve invested my stocks in not giving fucks
    I’m done with all the beta-bucks!

    But sometimes, in my new haircut of fried oil and a whisk of MAXMANLY DANGER
    When I walk down the street and shout “SPINSTERS!” at some stranger
    I feel perhaps my dance with a social advance has gone askance

    My Axe body-spray is a forcefield of fragrance
    my slicked up hair is stony, like pavement
    and my rhyming has lost all cadence

    Oh Manboobz, please take me back
    I’m no good at negging; I lack the knack for giving strangers flack
    I miss not causing a chemical alarm when I enter a bank
    It’s so lonely communicating only in grunting, my hair is all rank
    and I ended up in jail for real
    HAH IT’S A PRANK
    No seriously, I caused someone to faint because my pores have begun literally leaking Axe body spray and I think perhaps it’s displacing the oxygen in the rooms I occupy.

    And no one wants to listen about how Asians are the best
    And I don’t understand how demographics about white-pocalypses help me make small talk with friendly folks in bars

    Women aren’t from Venus
    But MRA’s should move to Mars.

  6. Ok, forget the all caps lock thing for now. Fibinachi, do you write raps or poetry in your free time? No offense to anyone here, but you are far and away the best poet here. have you ever seriously devoted a lot of time to it?

  7. MOAR POTERY!!!

    Roses are red,
    Boogers are greeny —
    Why won’t you bitches
    Suck my sad wienie?

    Roses are red,
    Armor is white,
    I hate nothing more
    Than a mangina knight!
    (Except bitches, of course. If I didn’t hate them the most, my Man Card would be revoked.)

  8. No offense to anyone here, but you are far and away the best poet here.

    I highly doubt anyone else here would contest that fact. I wouldn’t.

  9. I highly doubt anyone else here would contest that fact. I wouldn’t.

    Nor I, and we have some very fine poets here.

  10. I wouldn’t contest that fact, either!

    Also I love this:

    Sir Furtrelle

  11. Just reading this now (and I’ll definitely have to read your guys’s poems later). Clicked on the link for the video and wow, holy shit, those are some of the most respectful YouTube comments I’ve ever seen. O_o

  12. Men are the very best of best
    This much is true you can’t protest
    But feminism gives me no choice
    Men need a place to speak their voice

    A Voice for all men everywhere
    Except of course, for that one there
    He is not strong and is quite fat
    I can’t associate with that

    Then there’s that other one, it’s true
    He’s not the same as me and you
    For other men he displays lust
    So reject him I clearly must

    Another one wears women’s clothes
    Men shouldn’t wear such things as those
    So go away and don’t return
    Another one that I must spurn

    That one a yonder is not for us
    He’s fond of making quite a fuss
    When I use slurs like the n-word
    Free Speech, dude, have you not heard?

    Then there’s the other one, the cad
    Who says that women aren’t bad
    An absurd claim that makes me stunned
    You must agree he must be shunned

    All of the ones that try to say
    That violence is not okay
    Well, what am I supposed to do
    I must dismiss all of them too

    And do not even dare imply
    I should try not to be “that guy”
    Such are the worst of accusations
    I won’t abide such declarations

    So now that that’s out of the way
    And we will not be led astray
    It’s time for the Voice’s creation
    As soon as I get your donation

    Now come on, don’t you be cheap
    It’s a good cause, so reach in deep
    With that money that you bring
    I will make such a wondrous thing

    A Voice for all men that resounds
    A Voice for men that knows no bounds
    A Voice to speak, and shout, and chatter
    Except the men who do not matter

  13. @Myoo

    :: standing ovation ::

  14. O, it’s hard to be a man.
    Tis a truth dependable.
    Beset by lonely boners, and
    As a sex, expendable.

    Who gets sent to die in war?
    Answer that one, witches!
    I died twice defending your
    Freedom, heartless bitches.

    Child support is misandry!
    Also rape discussion, too.
    All the geniuses are men.
    Feminists are made of poo.

    Now I’m angry, sad, confused;
    Women’s hearts are cold as ices.
    Stroke my ego! Suck my wang!
    Soothe my existential crisis!

  15. Don’t have the skill for mra poetry, but I’ll try my hand at smarmimg a jingle (with apologies to kids, Toys R Us & thinking people everywhere)

    I don’t wanna grow up
    I’m an MRA kid
    There’s a million ways to torment folks
    That I can have fun with

    From gropes to rapes to street harassment
    It’s the greatest movement there is

    I don’t wanna grow up
    Cuz, slutty, if I did
    I couldn’t be an MRA kid

  16. Kathleen Hanna did a show about her days running around with Kurt in Olympia, WA:

  17. “I died twice defending your
    Freedom, heartless bitches.”

    Lol! XD Though, MRA ghosts aren’t exactly a pleasant thought… :/

    @Myoo That your poem describes Paul Elam and AVFM perfectly is sorta depressing…

  18. I wouldn’t contest that fact, either!

    Also I love this:

    Sir Furtrelle

    I had a hard time deciding between that and Purrtrelle.

    @tesformes:

    No. It’s just much easier to mock people in verse than it is to do it with a logical bent towards deciphering all their assumptions, because you can get logic wrong and argue poorly, but very people (I’ve found) will take any time to say anything to any kind of poetry other than “That’s odd”

    I guess very few MRA’ are into Billy Collins (http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/176056)

    So I picked it up here! On Manboobz. But I cheat, altering an already written poem is easy and quantity makes up for quality sometimes. And so I figured “Argh! I’LL DO IT IN RHYMES!”

    Never seriously pursued it other than on other occasions where I write small bits of birthdays or other celebrations (Which I started doing after mocking trolls here, to what I assume is the delight of others)

    Who gets sent to die in war?
    Answer that one, witches!
    I died twice defending your
    Freedom, heartless bitches.

    Heheheh. Nice one, Lady Mondegreen

    @Myoo:

    That was pretty damn spot on.

  19. “If any of you in any way hate homosexuals, people of different colour, or women, please do one favor for us — leave us the fuck alone! Don’t come to our shows and don’t buy our records.” – Nirvana

    Why are MRAs trying to claim him? Cobain clearly wasn’t on their team.

  20. cassandrakitty

    We had a baby MRA who kept trying to claim Thom Yorke too. They’re not too smart.

  21. “I died twice defending your
    Freedom, heartless bitches.”

    Lol! XD Though, MRA ghosts aren’t exactly a pleasant thought… :/

    Though it’d give the chance to see Mr K whip their asses with a revival of his old skills as a soldier … I’d enjoy that.

  22. Maybe not *feminists* that killed Cobain, but…

  23. “Lord Byron & Kurt Cobain
    Both spectral beings of another plane
    Scared to death the MRA.”

    (Byron would probably take part just for bad poetry, I don’t think he was feminist-friendly. I’ll have to look him up, again)

  24. By “take part”, I meant “join Cobain in scaring that jerk to death”. Also, I confess that I didn’t write from the MRA’s goofy perspective.

    I also have an alternate name for these guys which is far more appropriate…..”Male Supremacist Douchebags” or “MSD”s.

    Another suggestion….”Male Privilege Backlashers” or “MPB”s.

  25. MRA works well as Misogynist Rape Apologists/Advocates, too.

  26. OMG! Those names are brilliant, spukikitty. I always thought that “men’s rights advocate” was a misnomer because while there are true men’s rights causes most MRSs and the MRA movement as a whole don’t address any of them. Mostly they are domestic terrorists who call for arson (burning down court houses) and delight in misogyny or stalking women, even beating up women, such as the recent event in Canada where a feminist said she was attacked. Nobody can say for sure who was responsible, but given the facts I believe 100% that it was an “MRA.”

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