Is it a bird? Ooh, a bird. Where?
Another open thread for personal stuff, continuing from here.
As usual for these threads: no trolls, no arguments, supportive comments only!
Posted on March 1, 2014, in off topic, open thread. Bookmark the permalink. 541 Comments.
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Welp, hubby is now trying to solve my problems with meat. (And wipe that look off your face, perverts.) In the past, devouring flesh of the innocent would sometimes beat a collapse, and now it’s lasted long enough that apparently he’s turning to the old trick.
I really am not cut out to be a vegetarian. :(
My husband just got over a dose of twiga (that which is going around). He’s out at brunch with friends – yay! First time leaving the house for fun in a week. Also, I’m back drawing. There’s a technique called Zentangle, which is like mindful doodling. I had massive resistance, because art/creativity brings up issues like nobody’s business for me, but my sheer bloody minded stubbornness carried the day. Curiously, almost everyone who does it or teaches it is a woman. I have no idea why; you hold the pen in your hand, which is not gender related.
Good to hear your husband’s well again, Robert, and that the drawing’s firing. :)
I finally found a therapist! ^_^ She specializes in anxiety/depressive disorders and trans/queer issues for young folks. And she has a sliding scale and practices in downtown Boulder. I’m so glad.
Yay! Got an appointment yet?
Good news, Ally! Sounds like a winning combination.
Unfortunately it’s rather difficult to schedule appointments while under the influence but I’ll try to do so tonight when I’m sober!
LOL yes, doing the warblearglebargle while making an appointment might not be the best idea!
I mean, I can do things like programming while high, but usually it doesn’t work out too well.
Saying “I need an appointment for therapy for depression etc” while having a fit of the green giggles wouldn’t be a good idea, methinks … :P
OK, so this random man just showed up at our house saying he bought the place in 1981, and put the front door in, could he come look around? HELLO, HELL NO, DUDE. He was also saying that he knew this was intrusive, but he was picking his wife up at the airport, etc.
What the fuck? I am so freaked out right now. Maybe he’s legit, but I don’t feel like rolling those dice today.
And I get that it’s cold outside, but I couldn’t stop looking at his black leather gloves. I have seen too many horror movies.
Ugh, I’ve had similar experiences, hellkell, and I think it’s entirely reasonable to be freaked out by such a thing. Sorry to hear that. :{
Ewwww, no way, dude! Fucking creepy thing to do even if he’s legit.
Also how old was he, to have bought the house over thirty years ago?
This why my general policy is to not answer the door at all unless I’m expecting someone.
Kitteh’s, he seemed late 50s/early 60s, so it’s possible. If it’s true, he paid very little for this place, the neighborhood was miles away from “happening” in 1981.
One time when I was living with my mom, there was a potluck at the house, and one of the attendees forgot to take their own dishes back with them. So the next morning, while only my brother and I were in the house, the guy LITERALLY OPENED AN UNLOCKED BACKYARD DOOR and walked inside to grab his dishes. I didn’t care about the fact that he was sincere – he was creepy to the max and completely violated our space. So even if the guy is legit, it’s entirely reasonable to be like “fuck off.”
I’m just glad we live in a dead-end street – no reason for anyone to be driving past. We’ve a sign up telling sales/religious/charity pests to clear off, and the only people who come to the door are neighbours or delivery people.
Er, yeah, it’s reasonable not to let someone in your house. I mean, if I collapsed in the snow, I might get desperate enough to get to a house and be like, “PLEASE HELP ME” but that’s a whole different ballgame.
So even if he was legit, he went right ahead knowing he was being intrusive. That’s even worse cluelessness/entitlement than if he hadn’t thought about it at all.
Plus, who the hell wants to see their house thirty years later? I know it makes me ache every time I’ve passed the one house I think of as a home, here. I hate seeing what’s been done to it.
Now that I’m actually awake and aware of what’s going on…
@Bluecat: I’m so sorry to her about your diagnosis, but it sounds like your prognosis is good. In about two weeks, it’ll be the two year anniversary of my own cancer diagnosis and I’ve been cancer free for year and a half now. If there’s anything you need, whether it be someone to vent to, moral support or just a friendly person who’s been there to talk to, please feel free to get in touch.
@LBT: I had a situation many years ago when doctors had me thinking that I had something mentally going on that explained the excruciating pain that I was in. I’d injured my shoulder twice and, rather than do a second MRI after the second injury, I was labeled a drug seeker and essentially vilified by the doctors I was dealing with. I went to a second doctor who actually cared enough to do the work and we actually found out what the problem was. While your doctors may not be as uncaring as mine were, sometimes it can take a fresh set of eyes to figure things out. If you can, I would recommend seeking a second opinion, just to have that additional perspective.
Also, as far as blood work goes, there’s a normal range that most people fit into. That may or may not include you. For example, a normal body temperature is 98.6. My personal normal is 97.4 and getting up to 98.6 means that I have a low grade fever. Even if your vitamin levels show that you’re in a normal range, your individual body chemistry may require more or less of something. Just something to keep in mind.
@damselindetech: Glad to hear that things are on the upswing. It’s always nice to see people conquer their problems and get back on track. Gives us all hope :)
@Ally: I’m so sorry you’ve been going through so much crap with your father. I sincerely hope that you’re able to find a way to either limit the contact you have with him or to cut him off completely, until he gets hit by a clue by 4 and understands that his behavior is the complete opposite of the love that he claims to have for you. I’m not holding out much hope for this, so I hope that you’re able to find a way to live your life in peace and with little interference.
@ Saintnick: I’m so sorry to hear about your kitty. It seems like the ones that we don’t have for very long are the ones to touch our hearts the most. The mess makers also express their sincere condolences and send you kitty snuggles and ferret nuzzles.
I know I forgot something that I wanted to say (typing this sporadically throughout the day) and I apologize if I left anyone out. Time to go back to work. It’s not a particularly hard job, but I’m constantly moving and my back really sucks at the end of it.
Straining the yogurt increases the protein ratio, as the prime loss in the whey is water.
Bina, is your back pain the sort that might respond to wearing a support? (Apologies if you’ve heard all this far too often before!)
Nova, sorry, not Bina!
@amanda
I can totally relate. I’m on a med that doesn’t allow me to take pain meds and I’m in the same situation: broken bones. nothing but advil and tylenol. it SUCKS.
What about naprosen? It’s a strong anti-inflammatory, or Toradol? That’s what they gave me at the hospital.
@LBT: nothing wrong w/ saying you eat meat. Some ppl just need the high protein.
Congrats Ally!
((())) to every1
LBT:
The way you describe this sounds like Fibromyalgia/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. They’re actually the same illness but the amount of pain to exhaustion varies and it was while bfore the doctors figured out that it was the same illness. I’ve had it most of my life. Much of the time I’m pretty normal, but, like you I have times when I’m weak and/or the pain is bad. It seems to be an immune system problem related to Lupus (that runs in my family, too *eyeroll*). Sometimes it can be managed with diet, sometimes with exercise (from a physiologist, not a gym because overdoing it is dangerous and the physiologists know when you’ve had enough, which tends to be looooong before you pick it up yourself). I found that one of the best ways of dealing with it is through being creative- but I know you’ve already figured that out!
Please, if you need to talk about it or there’s some other way I can help, please let me know. I know these things are hard to deal with and usually the ways that people deal with them are very interesting and unusual.
@kittehserf: I work in a well fitted corset and it provides some back support, but it doesn’t really help much. It’s mostly RA (we think) in my hips and pelvis, along with sciatica. My job involves being on my feet, constantly moving for 6-8 hours, with an occasional 5 minute smoke break and it’s not something I’ve done for a very long time. I’ll be fine in a few days, after my body gets used to it a bit more.
It’s worth it because I really like my job and my coworkers. I wasn’t sure about it yesterday, but, now that it’s clear that I’m going to stick around, my coworkers rock and it’s a ton of fun.
Theladyzombie:
If you haven’t had your interview already, ask them point-blank what kind of hours you’d be expected to work, and then ask them to put that in writing.
I recently learned that Texas is not only a right-to-work state (read: we can fire you whenever we want), but also that they have no laws preventing the demanding of overtime. A buddy of mine has been working 55-hour weeks for months now, at a site an hour away from his home. He’s making nice money (nearly double his normal wages), but he’s completely burnt out, and has no idea when they’re going to end the long hours.
Wow. Lots of news in this thread. Hugs to everyone who needs/wants them. Congrats to those with good news!
I’m only just now catching up with this thread. I’m still enduring what I’m hoping is the tail end of my migraine streak and that’s cut way down on my internet/reading time for the last not-quite-week. (I have meds, but they cause rebounds and aren’t completely effective; I’m working with my doctor to work out something to control them better.)
Nova – ow, RA. :( I’m glad you’ve got a good support corset. They can make a big difference.
I found a very good arthritis cream recently, Goanna brand (don’t know if it’s available in the US). It’s good for muscle pain, too – I used it on my knee for the torn cartilage and muscles – and it works very quickly. Unlike most rubs of that sort, it isn’t hot and it doesn’t make you smell like a locker room, which is a major plus!
This is some info on the active ingredient in Goanna: Triethanolamine Salicylate
Pecunium — have you tried it? Does it do shit for you? Cuz if you both like it, I’m sold.
Haven’t caught up on this thread, but as we’re all evil feminists here, I thought some Boobzers might be interested in this article,
The Public Voice of Women, by Mary Beard:
http://www.lrb.co.uk/2014/02/14/mary-beard/the-public-voice-of-women
For anyone who doesn’t know, Mary Beard is Professor of Classics at the University of Cambridge.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Beard_(classicist)
Over the last couple of years she has become well known in the UK and quite predictably came under attack from misogynists.
After all, she dares to be a woman and – visible/educated/have greying hair/not wear make-up/not use Botox/wear pumps/over 50/appear on a politics programme/use Twitter – and on, and on.
As usual she has received rape/death/torture/bomb threats.
http://www.theguardian.com/books/2013/jan/26/mary-beard-question-time-internet-trolls
(Sorry, still poorly, hope that comment makes sense.)
Also, surreal brain bleach and hugs (if wanted) for anybody needing them:
Pope Hats! :)
So, in a mellow mood and listening to Damien Rice’s album ‘O’.
All the years I’ve had this album I never looked up ‘The Story of O’, now I have, to which I say “O”. :)
Just got more news last night that will either result in us being homeless or getting everything we wanted and hoped for. Time will tell and I’ll be less cryptic when I figure out which direction that sways toward.
This is exactly how privilege plays out. I am a college-educated, middle-class white woman. The whims of the economy mean I am vulnerable, but my privileges help ensure these are temporary and escapable.
@Ally – I’m so happy to hear you’ve got a counsellor lined up! This is exciting. :)
@hellkell – from my background, it’s not uncommon to want to visit old homesteads. We have “The Farm” that we always think fondly on, check real estate ads to see if it’s up for sale, and drive by as often as we’re able when we’re on that side of the country. No excuse for people barging in expecting to see the place, but the hope to revisit is not altogether unheard of where I’m from.
Well guys, out of desperation, my husband defaulted to the age-old cure back in my bad ED days: meat. Lots of fucking meat. He shoved some B vitamins into me and some fish, and today was the first in a while I was able to go outside. He plans to shove more flesh of the innocent down my gullet today.
I have no fucking idea WHY this seems to work when non-meat protein fails, but I guess I shan’t complain, seeing as it means mobility.
RE: Nova
If you can, I would recommend seeking a second opinion, just to have that additional perspective.
I likely will, though if I manage to cure this crash with meat, I might just reorganize my diet. Then again, I keep collapsing even so, so maybe I’ll end up at the docs anyway. *sigh* So sick of doctors and having to juggle all the things wrong with me.
RE: Seranvali
I dunno, I know a few folks with fibro, and I don’t get pain, just a sudden attack of weakness. Brainfog is probably related to the mental illness. Plus, the collapses only happen about once a month or two, and rarely last longer than a week. (Even if it entails a lot of flailing around desperately trying to hit on the thing that’ll cure it.) Also, I thought fibro was newly discovered to be a circulatory thing? I dunno, I guess I’m just a little dubious, since I’m used to thinking of fibro as hell on earth.
RE: gillyrosebee
Just got more news last night that will either result in us being homeless or getting everything we wanted and hoped for.
Eech. That sounds really rough. May you get good news and everything work out!
Oops, I meant damselindistech, not gillyrosebee. Sorry!
@LBT some of us are simply not cut out for vegetarian diets – I’m one of those people as well. Just doesn’t work for me. Soy and most other legumes don’t agree with me at all, and I can’t have gluten; and, I overall just feel crap without meat in my diet. Maybe you need it? In any case, yay for going outside!
@Ally yay for therapist! I’m thrilled for you!
@LBT just had a thought – I know you’ve had tons of bloodwork done, but how thoroughly have they checked your thyroid levels? Often they only check TSH and if that’s ok, they don’t look any further. Brain fog and weakness *could* be related, they sure were for me (and my bloodwork never flagged, until I found a place that would do a thorough test). My biggest symptoms were major depression and bone-crushing fatigue & muscle weakness.
@Tracy: TBH, I’ve had a few similar problems myself(though without the depression); not just the brain fog and off-and-on weakness, but also, I tend to feel tired a *lot* more than a person my age should…..which stinks, but I don’t think I have it as bad as you do, though, if I may be totally honest.
@Ally: Hey there, I’m happy that you found a therapist. Hope everything works out for you…..=)
RE: Tracy
@LBT some of us are simply not cut out for vegetarian diets – I’m one of those people as well.
Oh thank god I’m not the only one. I know another person who’s practically an obligate carnivore; if they don’t eat meat, and lots of it, Terrible Things Happen, but I’d never heard of it before.
I know you’ve had tons of bloodwork done, but how thoroughly have they checked your thyroid levels?
I’m not sure. I think they did check it for something, but it’s been long enough since my last sacrifice to the vampires that I’m not sure. *sigh* Much as I hate needles (yay fainting) I’ll probably end up having blood taken again at some point. I haven’t been dealing with depression, thank goodness, just cabin fever from being unable to exercise or art.
@hellkell: Yeah, I can see why that’d be so unnerving. Hopefully you’re doing alright now, though.
LBT – if it’s any comfort, I’d never manage on a vegetarian diet, either. Not, as far as I know, because it’d make me ill, but because the work involved, the lack of stuff I could eat (ie. no spicy stuff) even if it were available where I live, would make it fucking depressing if I could do it.
Young bloke I worked with a very long time ago was vegetarian, and ended up put back on meat on doctor’s orders, because he became so ill. He was thin as a lath when I knew him. I’ve no idea whether he’d mucked up and wasn’t eating the right things to get protein, or whether he was and it just wasn’t working for him, like you.
RE: Kittehs
Yeah. Like, in a way I’m kinda bummed, just because Sneak has always really wanted to be vege, and I don’t even LIKE meat that much, not like hubby, but it looks like we’ve got to eat meat or Terrible Things Happen.
Could definitely be worse, though. At least meat is easy to get. Now, gluten intolerance, THAT would be awful!
Well, that’s trashed the day.
I’ve just been made redundant. I’ve got five weeks more here.
That sucks, kittehserf, sorry to hear it.
Sorry to hear that, kitteh. :{
As for vegetarianism, I was a lacto-ovo vegetarian for 5 years in my childhood. It wasn’t too bad, although I can see why it’s not for everyone.
Oh shit, Kittehs! I’m sorry, that really bites.
It sure does. At my age and having been in a niche job for nine years, my chances of getting another job are minimal. It also means we’re going to have to look for cheaper housing.
kitteh, sorry to hear that; that’s rough.
damsel, hope your news turns out to be good.
Aw dang, Kittehs, that royally sucks. Hope you find a new place and better job soon!
And LBT, the meat thing may be due to a need for heme iron and B vitamins, especially B12. Sadly, there’s no vegetarian dietary source for those, so you might have to remain an omnivore. Health trade-offs suck sometimes, but if meat keeps you moving, eat up and don’t feel guilty.
Kittehs, so sorry about your job. That sucks!
kitteh, that sucks, I’m sorry.
What awful news, kittehs! So sorry. Hugs if they’re wanted.
Thanks, everyone.
Kitteh, I’m sorry to hear about your job. Internet hugs if you’re interested.
And to all thank you so much for your messages, they meant a lot to me.
and because it seems like so many can use some cuteness
Fuck, sorry about your job, Kitteh. Hang in there.
Hi, Kitteh. So sorry about your job…..a virtual hug from me, if you’re okay with that.
I have hugs for kitteh too . . . what a nasty surprise. :(
Oh, dammit, Kittehs. I’m so sorry about that. Good luck
Sorry to hear that as well, Kitteh.
@kitteh’s
I’m very sorry to hear that, please let me know if there’s anything we can do to help. I don’t really have too much in the way of contacts in Melbourne, but I can definitely ask people to keep an ear out for openings. Who knows, right
That is awful news, kittehs.
Internet hugs all round.
Another little something to cheer up anyone who needs cheering.
I am so sorry about your job, kittehs. Thinking about you and anybody else who is struggling.
I was happy to see that there is some good news in this thread too.
Hugs for all who want hugs.
Thanks for the hugs, everyone, they’re very welcome.
Shadow, if you know anyone who wants a non-driving fifty year old to come and learn a job, I’d love to know!
RE: Bina
And LBT, the meat thing may be due to a need for heme iron and B vitamins, especially B12.
Welp, I bought a bottle of B vitamins and hubby fed me pork chops for dinner, so hopefully my mend continues! (He joked that he’s well-acquainted with getting meat into my mouth.) What’s heme iron? Is it different from normal iron?
Good luck, Kittehs! Fingers crossed that everything turns out okay for you. Are you still going to be coming out to Chicago?