An open thread for personal stuff, continuing from here.
As usual for these threads: no trolls, no arguments.
Posted on February 7, 2014, in off topic, open thread. Bookmark the permalink. 1,059 Comments.
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RE: Fibinachi
I don’t get it, but then, at my college, pneumonia wasn’t an excuse to delay an exam, so I might be a bit calloused. Apparently procrastinators abound.
Also yaaaaaay I make art! :B
Yay art pictures! Great art pictures!
I’ll set up the Ravelry group tonight and send invitations to all the manboobzers I know are there (hint: any Ravelry manboobzers I don’t know are there, drop me a line!)
So, my friends are off at a Mary Gauthier concert tonight without me because I was too sick to go. Such a bummer. So, instead I’ll share some Mary with you. I absolutely love her.
[Content note: dysphoria, transmisogyny, body issues, self-hatred]
Suddenly tonight I feel really awful about myself. I feel disgusting. Every time I look at myself in the mirror I just blankly stare, wishing I never existed. I feel like I’ll always look ugly and have an ugly voice, no matter what I do. There is always going to be someone laughing at me or saying that I’m worthless and ugly because my nose is this way, or my cheeks are that way, or my jawline is shaped like a “man’s.” Maybe even my loved ones will eventually become ashamed of me and start calling me “beautiful” even when they think otherwise just to make themselves sound polite. I almost want people to call me ugly, masculine, and disgusting because I can’t imagine anyone ever thinking otherwise, yet at the same time it hurts to hear those words.
And I can’t do anything to medically transition because I have nothing but a small amount of savings, I don’t have a job, and I don’t even know how long I’m going to stay in Colorado. There are so many things going wrong. And I have no idea how to even start fixing them. /venting
Ally,
I can’t say I know how you feel as far as the transition. I have wished to hear someone call out the nasty thoughts in my head, so I can at least empathize with that, and I really wish I could help more. If someone is saying you’re worthless, they are dead wrong.
Hugs from kittens if wanted, and all the hope I can send you.
Ally, even without body disphoria, getting rid of the you’re ugly etc. messages in the mind is fucking difficult, so you have my complete sympathy in facing a much harder battle.
I don’t know if it helps to say I think you’re damn good looking and yes, feminine. There’s not a set way to look feminine, after all … and that last pic you took, the one with Tawney you posted on Feministe? You didn’t look at all masculine in that and that’s why I started talking about curly hair.
I’m only hoping this helps somehow, because I know my self-image only changed with the messages from guess-who.
Announcement for Ravelers:
I’ve set up the Crafty SPINSTERS group and invited (if I got the forms right) everyone in my friends group to join. Any of you manboobzers who’re also Ravellers, come on in! If nothing else, you need to see the kitties LBT drew for our badge and banner. :)
@Ally: I wish there was something I could say that could make you feel better, other than I hope you feel better soon and what you look like and how you sound don’t matter to me.
It’s so easy to think negative thoughts, just like we all tend to remember the hurtful things people say to us rather than remember the positives – it seems to be a particularly human thing to focus on the negatives.
One way I have seen to tackle these sorts of issues is with affirmations, which are done in front of the mirror. They’ve never worked for me personally, as I don’t feel the affirmation is true (or alternatively I feel really stupid saying it). If you feel that this approach is something you would like to try, then pick something positive about yourself that you think is relatively true, and affirm it in the mirror. And then work your way up through tougher and tougher affirmations.
Is there a support group you can talk to about what you’re feeling and going through? Particularly one with others close to you in age who understand what you’re going through because they’ve been there too? It feels like that type of support might be useful – if you think it would be/feel it would help.
I wish I could offer you more support, I’m completely out of my depth in this area. All I can offer you is that I’m thinking kind thoughts about you and hoping things improve for you soon.
Ally. You’re probably going to go through all kinds of weird emotional and self-esteem/ self-perception stages after leaving an abusive family relationship. Some stages will seem like one step forward, seventeen steps back at times. I remember from 40ish years ago after leaving an abusive husband that it wasn’t just the fear of seeing him round every corner (or that sinking every time someone in the office said there was a call for me) – it was a lot of strange internal thought processes entirely inside my head, about myself.
I was anxious, depressed and afraid and didn’t sleep too well because of the nightmares. But I had a well-paid job and I didn’t have any issues about my personal identity. (The issue back then was admitting to others that I was a kind of marriage failure. I felt horrible but that’s nothing to the turmoil you’re in at the moment.)
If you can find a way to see a counsellor you don’t even have to work through your transition issues up front. You really need someone to help you through the anxiety, the fear and the depression …… and to help you to keep your distance from the abusive person in your life. You know full well that it would do no good and might be very harmful for you to see him.
You know it. but you haven’t yet absorbed that lesson into your gut – there’s something hopeful in there which will occasionally urge you to see if he’s not really as bad as you think. In reality? There’s a remote, distant, theoretical, hypothetical possibility that that’s true – but there is also no reason for you to test that out before some cooling off period like, say, forever – sorry, okay, say six or nine months.
Set yourself a firm calendar date at least that far into the year which will be the day you allow yourself to think about doing a review of what you’ve heard of his behaviour during that period. And if it churns your gut to do that. Set another date 3 or 6 months after that. Whatever you do, don’t try dealing with him until you’ve dealt with your own anxiety and depression and got some clear water between yourself and your history.
Hugs and love. Make the most of any of the kind people and the good things you can find in your life.
One thing to bear in mind about family and other gone-wrong relationships. Many years after, I’d married my mr wonderful and had two beautiful children I was brought up short by my own extreme reaction to a suggestion by a family friend that I should talk to my ex about a particular subject.
Then I worked it out. Contacting him I would be taking the chance that
1) he’d be just as dreadful as before. So that’s a bad idea.
2) he’d be worse than he was before, Another bad idea.
3) he’d be better than he used to be. The question then is, would the improvement be enough to make the risk worth it?
So the odds become more than 2 out of 3 chances that it’s a bad, harmful, no-good idea. Bear that in mind when you get around to thinking along those lines again.
I’ve seen pictures of you, why do you hate your cheek bones and nose? I’ve seen two pictures of you on here and my first reaction was that your cheek bones and nose looked awesome. Your cheek bones are high. I don’t know how to describe noses, but yours is pretty. You’re not ugly at all.
I don’t want you to think that I’m just saying that now because you’re feeling self conscious. I just felt that if I commented “nice cheekbones” or “nice nose” it would be kind of weird.
As far as voice, have you looked up how to train your voice to sound different?
I don’t know much about medical transitions. Or Colorado and your plans. Are there any support groups you can contact?
Really wasted right now, sorry everybody, I’ve been trying to keep up, but not posting. Personal stuff kind of fucking things up.
Please take it as red that I’m thinking about you all and hope everyone is okay.
Posting now because of Lana/Dallasapple. I’ve been losing time recently and honestly thought it was like a couple of days since we were all talking, god I’m so sorry @Nynaeve. Fucking miserable world.
Any positive thoughts/prayers I could possibly muster are being sent Lana’s way. Christ everything sucks.
Hope my drunk comment makes sense.
Oh, wow, just read my last comment. I get really sweary when drunk, so, so sorry about that.
I walk into things when I get drunk (not watching where I’m going). I would prefer to be sweary. :)
Ouch :)
On one particularly drunken night at Uni I rolled through the back of a park bench I was lying on, my friends didn’t notice in the dark and couldn’t find me. I was found fast asleep behind the bench ten minutes later. Yup, I was that British binge drinker. :)
Oops, smiling too much again. It’s the vodka. :) :) :)
My particular talent was trying to walk though a slightly ajar door thinking “I’ll fit through that gap”. I always hurt myself on the door knob, normally on the upper arm.
Sorry, commenting too much. Please ignore this, it’s just nice to vent.
I’m very, very drunk.
I have a cold, again! My anaemia is so bad I passed out again earlier. I’ve been alone all day (it’s 7:30 PM here) and Mr M is working all evening, AGAIN! It’s Valentine’s day. I’ve just been diagnosed with major depressive disorder on top of the OCD and I’m really scared they’re going to section me. And, oh yeah, it’s my fucking birthday! I have no family, I’ve been out of touch with my friends for too long. No cards, no presents, not even one happy birthday, not even from Mr M. Fuck perverted and/or dead families/friends.
Fuck the world!
The trolls are right, I’m a sad SPINSTER alone with her cat. Pathetic me.
Happy birthday! Have you done something nice for yourself, like bake a cake, or read a book you’ve been setting aside? Could Mr M be bringing your present with him when he comes home?
Jobs can really suck with interfering with important facets of life. :(
Sorry, really wasn’t angling for happy birthdays. Thank you though.
I kind of just drank a lot, ate a cookie, oh and I smoked a very small cigar. (I don’t smoke, so I’m not quite sure why.)
Mr M I’m sure will be nice when he gets in, just would have really liked a ‘happy birthday’ this morning, or when we spoke on the phone. Just being picky I suppose.
I just had this weird encounter today. I’d held a lecture, not at university, but at a place downtown. As I left the building, exiting onto this big busy street with tons of people passing to and fro all the time, this random dude comes up to me. This is the exact conversation that followed:
Random dude:
– Happy valentine!
Me:
– Uh… happy valentine to you to?
Random dude:
– Where are you headed?
Me:
– Home.
Random dude:
– Wanna go grab a coffee instead?
Me:
– No thanks.
Random dude:
– Are you sure?
Me:
– Yes.
Random dude:
– Okay! Bye, take care!
Me:
– Bye.
That’s the entire conversation, nothing left out.
I think he must have been some kind of minimalist PUA? Cut out all the manipulation, just go some place where there are tons of women, and keep asking them out until you succeed.
@Ally: You have my sympathies. I do hope you find a way to transition eventually… I hear trans people over here talking about how it’s better in other countries, where it’s legally easier to transition (here, you can only get hormones etc from special trans doctors, there are looooong waiting lines to see one and you need to jump through all kinds of psychiatric hopes before you’re finally treated). On the other hand, in the US it costs lots of money. There really should be a system that allowed trans people to a) choose if they wanna transition without jumping through ridiculous hopes and waiting for years, and b) do so for free or for very little money, since this is not a luxury but a necessity for many people.
Or he could have been trying to do something nice for someone who could be alone on Valentine’s Day.
You could put it down to the fact that you clearly stand out from the crowd and were the *obvious* choice to get hit on. :)
Dunno. But if that’s the new PUA tactic, at least it appears to be polite.
@ally
okay, my body issues were fat related, not dysphoria related, because i’m cis. so take this with like a huge tablespoon of salt or whatever.
but i find i’m a lot more critical of myself than other people. so when i go to body positive blogs/ disabled body positive blogs/ fat positive/ whatever and look through the pictures i can admit that other people who have qualities i have are attractive, just not myself.
do you think it’d be helpful to look around a blog or something dedicated to awesome trans women (or trans women of color in specific) in a positive “we’re awesome/ body positive” way?
/feel free to tell me if this is over the line or inappropriate/minimising, b/c i know this speciic issue is not something cis people really get
Random dude is random.
I once had a lady offer me one of the budgies she’d just bought from the pet shop.
Apparently most people wouldn’t talk to her when she started chatting to them, but I did (to be honest I was a bit too British to walk away so ended up talking to her about her new flat for about ten minutes.) Anyway, she said she thought I deserved a reward, hence the budgie.
Needless to say, I didn’t accept payment. I don’t get out of bed for anything less than a kitten.
@Ally, I’m not ignoring you, just way too aware of how drunk I am. I don’t think I should give advice on serious stuff right now. However, lots of hugs if you want them. :)
A budgie is a weird prize, but I’d take it. I LURV budgies.
I take issue with treating animals like things… But then again, I don’t think animals should be sold in stores at all.
@Ally
::offers hugs:: I’m not really sure what to say, sorry. :( I do think you’re pretty, but I’m not really sure how reassuring that sounds.
@opheliamonarch
::offers hugs:: And happy birthday :) It may not be terribly birthday themed, but here’s a baby penguin cake to look at.
And, i borked that link.
Oh well, I think an actual baby penguin would work better for cheer ups :3
Budgies get a lot of fucked up treatment, IMO. People assume they’re a “secondary” pet, but they’re very intelligent. It pains me when people talk about how their parakeet is “crazy and bites everything” since that means they’re lonely and stressed (they go “crazy” from loneliness just like people, they even self harm).
You don’t hear “oh my dog is so mean! It tries to bite everyone and cowers in the corner whenever I get near it! LOL”.
(It’s used as an excuse to further abuse too, since most people use that as an excuse for why they don’t play or talk with their budgies, which makes the loneliness worse).
/bird rant
my dad used to have budgies, and he always had such a strong bond with them They always got out of cage time and flew to his fingers and let him skritch their neck and pet them or imitate the silly bird dances (he had three; right now i’m remembering the his second one, since it was around the most time that i can remember
so yes they are smart/ have basic emotions. I always hate it when people act like animals can’t form bonds or have emotions, and budgies are no exception to that. :( I don’t even know why you would have a pet you don’t want to interact with or play with or talk with.
so this is kind of a pointless comment except i second everything auggziliary said and budgies are adorable and people who have them should actually pay attention to them and be proper pet parents. (my sister always refers herself as a guinea pig mommy, so but this version is gender neutral, pet neutral, an alliterates!)
@Auggz
:( Poor budgies.
I had a really good random conversation on the train yesterday. The lady I sat next to said something about the conductor’s announcements, and for some reason we just kept talking, and got really enthused.
Topics covered:
clothes bought online and swapping of Dangerous Sites (etsy and an Oz one called 00.com.au)
more stuff about clothes
televisions (as in actual sets) and programs (we watch lots of the same British stuff)
aged parents
Alan Rickman
More about Alan Rickman
Shows Alan Rickman’s been in that she hadn’t seen (she was taking notes)
Knitting
We didn’t get onto furry critters, but I gave her my work number if she wants to have coffee sometime, ‘cos we had a lot of fun in that talk, which lasted an hour.
:)
Ally, I’m sorry you’re going through that. I imagine that family stress is making it worse.
One of my co-workers mentioned the other day that her cousin’s 16-year-old daughter was heading off for sex reassignment surgery within the next month, and it was a joyous occasion, in no small part to her family’s participation in the Winnipeg Transgender Support Group, which seems to have a very good reputation. Here’s their website: http://winnipegtransgendergroup.com
They have a tab for web and print resources, but they don’t seem to have an on-line forum. If you feel up to it later, check it out and see if maybe they might be useful for you. (I was going to email them for forum recommendations, but I figured that was pushing my nose a little too far into your business.)
I guess I’m technically gender fluid, but the times I’m male are short and uncomfortable. Really uncomfortable.
I’m 5′ 2″ and have a petite, “feminine” body. Whenever I get the male states I get extremely depressed and suicidal and hate everything on my body, my name, voice, etc. It feels awful. I’ve done small tests, like asking a friend to call me by a male name during those states, and it feels right.
Eventually I swap back to female, and everything’s fine, and the male name doesn’t feel right. I’m male like less than 5% of the time, so I don’t know if I’d count as gender fluid.
I don’t know what triggers the swaps either.
Also that’s been happening since I was a kid.
@opheliamonarch
Have some birthday kitties!
Sobered up a bit after having a kip, thanks for putting up with my moaning folks.
@marie, so sorry you’ve been poorly lately. And thank you for the lovely penguin. Didn’t mean to be selfish and not comment on other people’s problems, just don’t think I’m the best person to offer advice right now.
@neuroticbeagle, you always cheer me up, thank you.
And may I just say it’s lovely to see Marie and Fade commenting together again, you’re both so nice.
Gonna go to bed, and pretend the world doesn’t exist. I hate birthdays anyway, they’re always depressing. At least it’s easy to pretend it didn’t happen this year I suppose.
Nighty, night everyone.
@opheliamonarch
aww, thanks :3 And don’t worry, you aren’t being selfish.
@opheliamonarch
Thank you, you are awesome too. :blush emoticon:
(this is fade btw. WordPress just hates me)
I generally comment when Marie is commenting cuz I get lots of my internet interaciton thru tumblr. She doesn’t get as much thru tumblr and feels more at home w/ manboobz, so she gets the idea to go back and them i’m like “Waaaait i miss everyone from manboobz too i’m coming back too!”
“WordPress just hates me”
WordPress hates everyone:
@neuroticbeagle
ok, that made me laugh…XD you always have awesome animal pic links
Thanks. The Furrinati have me well trained. :)
You are one of their senior agents. :)
Public Service Announcement because I’m still sort of freaked out by this.
So last night spouse and I went out for a nice dinner but got a bit sidetracked pulling into the parking lot when we passed a car that had smoke pouring out from under the hood. We park, I run towards the restaurant to have them call 911, spouse grabbed the fire extinguisher out of the trunk. While all this was happening the driver decided to try to open the hood to see what was happening and a gigantic fucking fireball shot out. Thankfully he was fast enough to jump back and while the hair on his face & head was burned off he was overall ok. One of the passengers also had their hair burnt because they went back to the car to grab their bag. Paramedics checked both of them out & they were able to go home, thank goodness for that.
So the PSA portion of the post:
If the engine of your car is on smoking or on fire get away from the car and call emergency services. One of the worst things you can do is open the hood because that just adds oxygen to the fire.
Carry a fire extinguisher in your car. They make one specifically to be mounted in the car. I’ve carried one since I’ve started to drive & have never had to use it prior to last night but paying for a new one every 4 yrs when I haven’t used it isn’t a waste if there is ever a situation you need one. If need be you can aim the extinguisher through the front grill to keep the fire mostly under control until emergency services get there.
There is nothing in your car that is more important than a living thing. Get people and animals out & leave EVERYTHING else behind. Things can be replaced, living things can not.
And once all was settled I did get a chuckle out of the fact that while most others who saw what was going on called 911 or grabbed something to help put it out there was in fact one chuckle-head who said “Holy crap, I’ve got to get this on video” So yes, there is probably a video somewhere on youtube :)
@Argenti re: the bed – BIL bought one for her the day she told us about it – ordered it online and had it delivered, and it was there when she got home. His parents kicked in too. When I got to their place for xmas, that’s what they were doing – really upsetting to walk into.
I think that’s why she broke down and finally told us what else was going on – she mentioned the bed and the situation was fixed quickly and with care, which is something she isn’t used to with her mum. We suspected things weren’t good, but it’s difficult to really know unless she tells us.
@Kiwi girl, she does have an ipod with a camera that she bought herself over the summer – good idea.
@neuroticbeagle – never thought of that, I’ve found the resources for Canada – will show BIL today (it’s Family Day here on Monday, a stat holiday, so we’re having a family weekend at his parents). Thank you!
@Ally I don’t know if any of these will help?
http://www.glbtcolorado.org/transgender/transgender-resources-support/
http://www.gicofcolo.org/
I know when I’ve been in similar states, any nice things people say about me are easily brushed off – oh, they’re just being nice. So for what it’s worth to you at the moment, I always read your comments because you’re so articulate and intelligent. You seem to really absorb and reflect on things, and know how to unravel them and parse them in a way that is brilliant, but also accessible to people reading. (if only it were so easy to untangle our own ‘stuff’)
And I saw the pic you posted, and I think your face is lovely.
RE: leatapp
I really liked that song! Thanks for posting it; it looks like I have a new musician to check out!
RE: Ally
All I can really say is: I know how you feel. Also, that awful as these feelings are, they will pass. You do not know what the future holds. You don’t know where you will be in ten years, or what you can or can’t afford then. Just try to hang on and stay focused as best you can. I have faith that you can make it.
Ally — I’m an abundant lack of anything useful at the moment, but wanted to at least tell you that you’re being harder on yourself than you would be on anyone else. If nothing else, at least try and treat yourself as kindly as you treat everyone else!
Also, makeup can go a long way to change your features, f’ex blush just a shade or two darker than your skin under your cheekbones, and a shade or two lighter on them, can make them look higher than they are. You can do similar tricks for noses and jaws too, hit up youtube :) (and avon sells cheap makeup that isn’t total shit quality, I’ve never replaced my avon blush in ten years cuz they stopped carrying the color and everything else makes me look like a clown >.< )
Tracy — glad to hear she's got a bed at least, and knows BIL's family supports her. Love the idea about her taking pics, particularly since digital ones will be time and date stamped to prove they're recent.
Dvärghundspossen — I'm torn on animals being sold in stores. I despise petco and will NEVER buy fish there, they act like only selling cats and dogs from shelters (more like a meet and greet the Furrinati than sales) makes them so ethical, but the way they treat their fish…
Otoh, Pittsburgh has this awesome fish store (Alan's Pets and Plants on Murray for you yinzers), and he genuinely cares about the fishes. Breeds the piranhas, actually knows about the fish and their needs, etc.
But it's a lot easier for a fish breeder to set up shop than a cat or dog breeder, simply because you can breed most fish in little more than twice the room it takes to house the parents. (Also, baby piranhas are cute enough that I seriously considered if I had room for a species tank for them. I did not, and they play with their food, it's creepy. Puff eats live snails but they're dead in an instant, no playing with them first.)
TW: suicide. I’m sorry if this isn’t really relevant to anyone’s current issues, but if anyone would like to talk about something like self-harm to someone but feel too weird to talk on the phone a friend suggested me a site called crisischat.org. I think they’re open from 2am-2pm. If someone thinks it doesn’t help or have alternative sites then please let me know b/c no matter what i can’t go through another awkward phone conversation and be painfully aware of how loud i breathe over the line.
Also, just because I am more of a burden than of any real help, does anyone know of any hotlines/online support groups for asexuals? I’ve tried LGBTQ resources in general but so far a lot of them haven’t helped so much (this doesn’t mean I disregard the safe spaces for anyone else at all).
hannasoumaki – AVEN is a big online network for asexuals, you might try there.
@ Ally, please don’t take this as pressure to undergo transition but do you have a way to have people donate to you, something like a paypal account? I’m extremely sorry for what you have to put with from others and until you do find a way to afford the transition I wish the best for you.
@ kittehserf Thank you so much!
You’re welcome!
Has anyone ever read anything by Susan Faludi? I just heard of her, she’s a feminist but I can’t tell if she’s one of those “feminists hurt men’s(misogynists’) feelings by being anti rape” types.
Hugs for anyone who needs one!
Susan Faludi is pretty good, auggziliary. Worth reading.
Ok, thanks. (The context I heard her in made her seem questionable).
I have Backlash on my bookshelf, although I haven’t read it for a while.
Thank you for all of your kind words, everyone. I’m sorry I haven’t responded to everyone. And as for donations, I do have a PayPal account, so if anyone wants to send me money I will gladly accept it. Email me at aaliyahsyed94[at]gmail[dot]com for details if you want to donate. I don’t want to pressure anyone to donate, especially not anyone who is in a financially tight situation, but I would really appreciate it.
Anyway, I have arrived in Boulder, CO with my mom. Things are nice, although I admit that I almost started crying in the car when katz and her husband were dropping me off. They are some of the kindest and most likable people I have ever met.
In other news, apparently my dad has been trying to gender me properly. He is trying to use different pronouns and call me his daughter (“baitee” in Urdu) rather than his son (“beta” in Urdu).
Glad you got there safely, Ally!
Don’t tell the MRAs son is beta in Urdu. Imagine the shitfits they’d have.
LOL
Anyway, I feel odd when I hear about my dad being accepting. For so long I have seen him as intolerant, but maybe my coming out really has encouraged him to rethink his views. I hope that’s the case.
Ally, so glad you got there safely. And I’m not at all surprised to hear that katz et al. are as decent/wonderful as we all suspected.
I hope your dad will grow from this experience, and I also hope you will be able to watch that growth independently and without any ability on his part to control/coerce you.
<3
Yay Ally, that’s great news. :)
We will miss you, Ally (and so will Mot + Tawn + Duke). It’s been fun.
Great to hear, Ally.
Any news on Lana?
Welp, the worst of my fears about my older sister’s douchey boyfriend have been confirmed. He seems to be nicer than before, but he’s also a vehemently anti-feminist “humanist.” I just blankly stared at my plate and ate slowly as he regurgitated countless bullshit “egalitarian” talking points I’ve heard before – everything from the opposition to feminist “fabrication” in social science to biological determinism a la Steven Pinker. He also joked about feminist “obsession” with rape and made some very awful rape jokes.
And to top it all of, even though he accepted me for being trans, he still talked about me as if I was a guy. He said that he can always tell if someone is a “man” by looking at their facial features and kept telling me that I should consider having sex with people before I transition. Although the things he was saying were terrible and stupid, the thing that annoyed me the most is that he never stopped talking about how much he hates feminism.
Also, it seems that my sister happens to agree with him on almost everything, so they are basically a FeMRA/MRA couple. They even said (not verbatim) “We’re just telling you about how bad feminism is because we care about you and don’t want you to be brainwashed.”
I’m really not happy about these developments. Time for a smoke.
Sending jedi hugs your way, Ally. That sounds awful.
Sounds like they’re on the list of People To Sever From Your Life as soon as you’re able, Ally.
I will never sever my sister from my life because I’m very attached to her. It’s not like she’s TyphonBlue tier or GirlWritesWhat tier – she just kind of passively agrees with her boyfriend, who I still suspect is manipulative towards her. She was the first person I came out to and she has always been very supportive.