Dating by the Numbers: Why “hacking” OkCupid is a waste of everyone’s time
This data point is an outlier.
Is there no problem out there that can’t be solved by SCIENCE? Apparently not. Indeed, it has recently come to my attention that one heroic nerdy dude actually used MATH to get a girlfriend. No really, an actual girlfriend. As in, a living human female that he’s seen naked. (We can only presume.)
Wired magazine found the story so astonishing that they devoted an entire 3000 word feature to it.
The piece tells the tale of Chris McKinlay, then a grad student in mathematics at UCLA, who went searching for love on OKCupid, a dating site that uses daters’ answers to various questions, ranging from silly to profound, in order to calculate a “match score” that supposedly measures your compatibility with a potential date. But McKinlay wasn’t getting as many dates as he wanted.
So he decided to “reverse-engineer” OkCupid. As McKinlay — ever the romantic — explains on his own blog, he used his mathematical skillz to analyze the “high-dimensional user metadata in [the] putatively bipartite social graph structure [of] OkCupid,” and adjust his own profile accordingly.
Basically, he crunched a lot of numbers to figure out how the kinds of women he was most interested in — in particular one data “cluster dominated by women in their mid-twenties who looked like indie types, musicians and artists” — tended to answer questions. And then he fiddled with his own answers — and his choice of which questions to answer — so he would score higher match percentages with them. Ta da! Suddenly he had more matches.
He claims not to have answered any questions dishonestly, but as Wired notes “he let his computer figure out how much importance to assign each question, using a machine-learning algorithm called adaptive boosting to derive the best weightings.”
It doesn’t take a math degree to figure out that fudging your answers so they’re more like those of the women you’re targeting will make it look like you’re more like them. You can pull this same trick in real life by pretending to agree with everything a person says.
But you don’t have to be a psychologist to see that doing this kind of defeats the purpose of OKCupid’s match algorithms in the first place. You’re creating the illusion of chemistry where there may be none. Essentially, you’re cheating, but in a really self-defeating way.
And by focusing so intently on statistically crunchable data, he also ignored a lot of the more intangible “data” that the profiles provide if you actually sit down to read them. The numbers don’t reveal anything about a person’s verbal charm, or their sense of humor. They don’t tell you about the interesting little details of the person’s life.
As Katie Heaney notes in a Buzzfeed piece on McKinlay’s strange quest:
[M]uch of the language used in the story reflects a weird mathematician-pickup artist-hybrid view of women as mere data points … often quite literally: McKinlay refers to identity markers like ethnicity and religious beliefs as “all that crap”; his “survey data” is organized into a “single, solid gob”; unforeseen traits like tattoos and dog ownership are called “latent variables.” By viewing himself as a developer, and the women on OkCupid as subjects to be organized and “mined,” McKinlay places himself in a perceived greater place of power. Women are accessories he’s entitled to. Pickup artists do this too, calling women “targets” and places where they live and hang out “marketplaces.” It’s a spectrum, to be sure, but McKinlay’s worldview and the PUA worldview are two stops along it. Both seem to regard women as abstract prizes for clever wordplay or, as it may be, skilled coding. Neither seems particularly aware of, or concerned with, what happens after simply getting a woman to say yes.
And that’s where McKinlay’s system seems to have fallen down entirely. Though Wired is eager to present his “hacking” as a great success, it took McKinlay more than 90 dates — 87 of them first dates with no followup — before he found his current girlfriend.
In other words, his wondrous system produced a metric shit-ton of “false matches” and wasted a lot of people’s time, including his own.
And in the end it wasn’t his data crunching that brought his girlfriend to his door; as Wired notes, she found him on OKCupid after doing a “search for 6-foot guys with blue eyes near UCLA.” Happily for him, McKinlay already matched her preferences in these areas. In addition to appreciating his height and eye color and location in physical space, she apparently was also charmed by his cynical approach to OkCupid dating, so maybe they are a match made in heaven, if not in his data crunching techniques.
While McKinlay was going on first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date after first date, people I know have found wonderfully compatible matches — and long-term relationships — through OkCupid without having to date dozens of duds along the way.
How? Partly because OkCupid’s match algorithms led them to some interesting candidates. But mainly because they read profiles carefully and looked for compatibility in the words, not the numbers.
Posted on February 7, 2014, in okcupid, PUA and tagged okcupid. Bookmark the permalink. 728 Comments.
Hellkell – ooh, I know this one! Cockney rhyming slang. Porkie pie = lie.
hellkell – yup, LBT’s right, it’s that rhyming slang. :)
Quite a lot of old Oz slang is straight out of Cockney rhyming slang. Sadly it seems to be fading away.
I’m delighted that buttboy posted that last comment, btw. Why would anyone take anything he says in the future seriously after he’s admitted that he’s a habitual liar who thinks that’s the norm? He just shot himself in the foot in terms of future attempts to gaslight us and he’s too dumb to even realize it.
Kittehs & everyone: thanks for the answer.
Buttboy, if you try to use, “I have to lie about my basic beliefs and hobbies because I am so unlikeable my true self isn’t good enough,” as a way to garner sympathy… you’re doing it wrong. You’re trying to paint women’s standards as the problem, when it’s YOU delivering falsehoods or feeling so self-loathing you feel obligated to lie.
Either way, you’re telling us way more about YOU than women, buddy.
Oh, I forgot to add Alan Davies and Stephen Fry to men I like to look at. I also like to listen to them. The relevance here, is Cockney rhyming slang.
@buttboy
troll to english translation: men have a hard time getting dates on ok cupid. This is sad. Very sad. Women have an easy time getting dates on ok cupid. I know this because my ass told me so.
troll to engilsh translation: Yes, he’s denying his dates their preferences, but let me explain how this is okay, because I am a douchenozzle.
troll to english translation: I lie about my past, tastes, and skills. Me.
troll to english translation: I know he’s being manipulative, but why must you insult him? he’s just trying to get a date *whiny voice* give him a chaaannnccceee.
Troll to english translation: I know you just were talking about being stalked, harassed, sent death/rape threats, but I don’t care, because I have the perspective of a banana, so I will willfully ignore you.
Troll to english translation: playing devil’s advocate isn’t that hard.
::applauds Marie::
@kittehs
thank you :3
Futrelle, I’m requesting you delete my comments in this thread. Obviously it’s your blog and you can do whatever you want, but I’d appreciate it.
What, worried that people might quote this thread to underscore how dishonest you are next time you try to pull the disingenuous act?
No, I’m just not really interested in having a discussion in this sort of atmosphere.
So David should help you pretend the conversation never happened. Yep, you’re revealing things about yourself all over the place today.
Awww, buttboil doesn’t want people seeing he’s defended a(nother) lying skeeve who’s trying to manipulate women.
Wonder why that would be?
Run along, sonny. You’re not even an amusing troll.
It’s strange buttboy69. You say sensible things quite often, but then you try to get them to mean the opposite of what they actually mean. I suspect if you sat down and thought about it, you’d see what you were doing.
And when I was online dating – I went on dates with lots of guys. You know what else that means? Lots of guys were going on dates! Some of them even told me about all the other dates they were going on. In fact every single time a woman went on a date with a guy, a guy went on a date too! “Having a hard time online dating” is not a universal circumstance for all men.
@Kim
It’s not as if there’s an even ratio out there.
Between age discrepancies, attractiveness, homosexuality, and stuff, at different ages men and women will have different levels of success dating.
Buttboy should have to own his words in this thread.
Not that surprising that someone would want a comment in which they stated that everyone lies and misrepresents themselves deleted, but I’m really not seeing any good reason why that request should be honored. Not my blog therefore not my call, but I hope he doesn’t get his wish to rewrite history granted.
@buttboy
You could always, you know, leave.
To be fair to buttboy, And assuming ignorance before malice, I say he is only parroting the general media portrayal of Romance, and Probably does feel legitimately that you guys are being abusive just because he doesn’t conform to the norm here.. I mean, think of how many romcoms seem to encourage ‘white lies’ to outright deception? (because its funny to deceive someone into loving you! -eyerolls-)
Now mind you, thats as far as the fair goes. He *DID* come here to accuse us woman-folk of not trying to understand, after all, and then outright refused to see it from our point of view aside from a token ‘sure sure, But what about other stuff??!!!!1!’
Its probable that he sees himself as between extremes, and doesn’t really ‘get’ How skeezy stuff like this is, and in fact, refuses to understand because he would rather be ‘neutral’.
But again, thats assuming ignorance before Malice, which is what I tend to do.
In fact, on the skeezy ‘hacker’ the article is about, Id say he perceives things the same way.. I mean, its a world of difference between shifting a “Im ok with woman who dated men who owned dogs before” to “I want woman who dated men who owned dogs before” to seem more compatible.. not saying that is what he did, because frankly, I don’t know HOW he changed his profile to try and get compatibility up. and even assuming utterly ‘minor white lies’ angle that people seem to be pushing, it still seems to have done him no good, which implies he was faking whatever changes he made, rather then just shifting the ‘weight’ around to ‘boost’ his compatibilities.
Because I tend to visualize everything in analogous, Another way to put it is that he probably thinks he is like someone who gets a nice suit, or tidies up a room, to try and give a better impression, And that he had to game the system to understand how to even do so, but again, the lack of success for 90 frikking dates implies its more like wearing a t-shirt for something you don’t like, to try and impress people who ARE into it. (and that is assuming he Is ‘benignly’ misunderstanding his actions, And didn’t know from the get go that its just falsifying things. If he DID do that, then obviously, its even worse.)
Even worse, it becomes down right creepy and worrying when he had to break the OKC TOS to skim data points he had no consent to gather, in order to (inefficiently.) try to game the system to benefit himself. There is no way to look at that in any other way, because it means he either purposefully ignored other’s agency and privacy, or he didn’t think of it, and *NEITHER* is ok, at all. In any way, even assuming the best case scenario.
(see? I can be impartial like buttboy likes to think he was.)
so the final verdict on ‘skeezy hacker’ is that at *BEST* he Cares far little for company TOS, little for his potental dates Right to not be spammed, and has ‘mainstream’ misogynistic views of romance.
Real keeper, eh?
Feel free to correct me if I got anything wrong.
Ah thats what I get for posting while half awake.
Two corrections off the bat.
1.I’m not condoning, nor excusing buttboy’s behavior.. Just analyzing and thinking about. He is being willfully ignorant after all. (I would however, excuse him if he came around to *Actually* being relatively rational, but thats my personal decision and I dont expect others to do the same as easily, considering how trollish he has been.)
2.Analogies, not analogues.
Buttboy, I will remove someone’s comments if they’ve inadvertantly revealed personal information, and in certain other exceptional circumstances, but not because someone doesn’t like the reception their comments have gotten.
marinaliteyears, this one has a history of being a misogynistic little creep of the mealy-mouthed variety, and I’m a bit sick of the “but be fair to him!” line being used about troll after troll in this place, especially when it carries a “be nice to him” subtext. We’ve seen what he’s had to say. We’ve seen lots like him before. You know what? Calling him a piece of shit is being fair to him.
Prolonged, deliberate, desperately clung to ignorance really isn’t all that morally superior to malice, imo.
And should I be surprised that the questioning reporting performed by the *female* Buzzfeed journo got more negative comments than the breathless gush by the *male* Wired journo? The critical comments on the Wired article attack the “method” he used (rightly so). The critical comments on the Buzzfeed article attack the journo. The gender of both journos is clear from their names, and the Buzzfeed also has a photo of the journo. I don’t think I am mis-gendering “Kevin” by relying on his name.
I know you’re trying to sound like you’re saying something meaningful, but it still doesn’t get around the fact that for every date a woman goes on with a man, a man went on a date with a woman. So het women and het men as groups have the same success at dating.
@Cassandrakitty
Actually, many people argue that Ignorance, (especially the willful kind) to be much *worse* then Malice. So there is that to think about. besides, Like I said, Im not excusing nor condoning what he did. If anything, Im pretty well condemning his ignorance, and thats without knowing his history.. I just failed to make that clear.
@Kittehserf? (question mark because you seem to be lacking your avvi.)
Oh I’m not arguing against that. Nor am I wanting you to be nice to him. I never said ‘be nice’ or ‘be fair’ to him.. I *MYSELF* am just pointing out what *I* feel Is fair, within how *I* am treating him. I have no expectations on how *you* or anyone else treats him. (And besides, even if he is just a dipshit who doesn’t ‘get it’ don’t you think that is still worthy of condemnation? Because I sure do.)
And besides that, even if he is just a stupid fool, that doesn’t excuse him in any way shape or form, like I said. Specifically.
If you think that my Calling him, at best, Ignorant and foolish, (and that I would, *personally* forgive him if he had a change of heart, while having no expectation of *Anyone* else doing the same.) Is me saying to be nice to him, then I think you misunderstand me, and I suppose I misrepresent myself, which is fair enough. That happens sometimes.
Gotta say, I’m getting really tired of the Devil’s Advocate stuff.
Also, words like “ignorance” and “malice” do not need to be capitalized unless they’re at the beginning of a sentence.
@cassandrakitty
eh.. I don’t think im’ playing devil’s advocate here. I’m just saying why they are wrong, even in a best case scenario, not taking their arguments and trying to pretend they are valid.
I mean, point out where Im not insulting buttboy for being either a giant idiot, or for being an even stupider troll, and I’ll gladly correct myself
Every time some douchebag is being a douchebag, and someone comes along doing either the (misunderstood) version of devil’s advocate, or trying to fathom said douchebag’s thinking, it comes across far. too. much. like a “you’re all being so meeeeean” comment. This is a mockery site and I’m really over the whole idea that there’s any need for this sort of stuff. There’s more than enough what about teh menz on the internet, we get enough of it from trolls – like the very one we’re talking about – and it’s very tiresome.
It could also be that I’ve had it up to the eyeballs with seeing the best in people who’ve demonstrated they don’t even see women as human. They’re only going to take advantage of anyone’s good nature, or women’s (in particular) socialisation to be the peacemakers, or, frankly, people’s naivete. I’m not into forgiveness or kindly feelings about them, not until they fucking get whacked with a clue-by-four and change their ways. Until then they can go fuck themselves with a cactus.
There is no way I’m going through that wall of randomly capitalized text that starts with “to be fair to buttboy”, as if nobody else had been doing so, and analyzing it for you.
@ kittehs
What happened to your icon? It’s vanished from your earlier comments too, which is odd.
I was just changing it around, and Gravatar was being stupid. It’s back now! :)
Oh, cool. I was all, why are you suddenly a random green squiggle?
I was wondering if the Gravatar aliens were getting all thing about Mr K showing his knees. :P
@Kittehserf
I perfectly understand why this became a thing.. Between my stance of being *personally* (I cannot stress that point enough honestly.) forgiving, and insulting by pointing out problems even in best case scenarios vs your being sick of apologia and such, Its probably a liiiiiitle bit too close to to people finding excuses for creeps for your tastes.. I will try to Make myself more clear in the future, ok? I mean, Im still basically doing the same thing as you, Just in a more ‘even if, they are still bad’ sort of way.
If my trying to be more clear in the future still isnt enough, Im sure we can figure something out. I dont want to make anyone uncomfortable, you know? I know I got defensive when you guys started talking about this, but I really do care about how I make you feel. In fact, normally, I work to keep my insults more blunt, specifically to avoid stepping on toes, but Obviously I get a little side tracked in my own particular brand of insults.
@Cassandrasays
Yeah, the capitalization thing is a bad habit of mine, some kind of strange way I try to add emphasis from my younger years on the net. I tend to lapse into doing it when tired or upset. but honestly, Im a bit disappointed. I figured if you would criticize me, you would at least read what I wrote. (namely, that ‘being fair’ to buttboy is basically calling him an idiot.)
Still, thanks for reading what you did, and saying how you feel. Its important to me that you say what you mean, you know? I don’t want people to pull punches because i’m new here.
(also, I already analyzed my own comment, and as I said to serf, I didn’t emphasize my insult well enough, obviously. I mostly meant ‘point out where i’m not insulting buttboy’ as a way of getting across the fact that nothing I said was meant to be flattering or kind to him.)
No, not uncomfortable, as far as I’m concerned. Uncomfortable implies more than this, and a measure of vulnerability, perhaps, to me. I’m just irritated in a “here we go again and I wish people would stop fucking mollycoddling these wankers” way.
No biggie, but shorten my nym to kittehs, not serf, thanks.
@marinaliteyears
I get what you mean by saying the OP dude might not know what a misogynist he is because the kind of misogynist he is is so reinforced and excused by society/media. I can see him being the underdog hero in a remake of Revenge of the Nerds. (Though the story would have to be rewritten so his system actually worked). Hopefully, the feminist feedback he’s getting will help him realise what he’s been doing, though more likely he’ll burrow further into his rationalisations. Buttboy doesn’t have an excuse because he’s been hanging around here long enough to have learnt something if he wanted to.
He even said that what the OP guy did was wrong etc, it just wasn’t a big deal because REASONS.
@Kittehserf
Alright. Kitteh it is.
Also, in that case, I don’t wanna irritate anyone either, really. And, good point on uncomfortable perhaps implying a measure of vulnerability.. while I haven’t ever particularly thought of it that way, It still makes a lot of sense, and I may have to start using it like that.
THIS.
@Kim
Yeah.
Either way, both buttboy and the ‘hacker’ are both pretty reprehensible. Ignorance has never been a good excuse for treating others poorly, especially the self reinforced kind.
@Kim
You’re right, as long as you ignore age cohorts.
You want me to say what I mean? OK. The reason the “to be fair to buttboy” stuff annoys me is that people here have told you they don’t like it before, and you keep doing it*. To then expect me to explain why a comment that starts by implying that nobody else here has been fair to him, but you’re going to be, adds an extra level of annoyance. The passive-aggressive “I’m disappointed” stuff kicks the annoyance level up another notch. The random capitalization makes your comments hard to read, even if I was interested in another round of “but to be fair to the misogynistic asshat”, which I’m not.
*To be clear, I’m not trying to control what you say. You can keep doing the “but, to see things from the troll’s perspective” stuff if you want. I (and anyone else who finds it irritating) can also keep pointing out that it annoys the crap out of me.
@ Kim
Also, buttboy tried to get David to delete his comments in this thread. That’s not the action of someone who’s working on his misogyny and willing to learn from the conversations that he’s having with people here.
Unless he had that sudden painful rush of understanding of just what he’s been doing, and the shame is too much for him. Unlikely I know, but it’s a nice fantasy.
Oh, good, Diogenes the idiot is back. Long time no see. How’s life under your particular bridge?
Citation needed. Including the exact effects that all this “stuff” has on “dating success”. What is the strict definition of “dating success”? Is it quantitative or qualitative? How is it measured?
I’m guessing that the measurement you’re using for a lack of “dating success” is how much moaning someone does about it on Reddit – am I right?
Wait, did buttboy turn out to be Diogenes or did I miss a pile of troll droppings earlier in the thread?
You missed a pile of troll droppings, @cassandrakitty. Just up a bit.
@Cassandrakitty
Eh? The only time I recall anyone saying they didn’t like what I was doing (or gave an opinion at all, for that matter) was back when I introduced myself. After that, Everyone talked to me about it, and I explained myself, and everyone seemed to drop the subject after that, seemingly understanding my position and having no problem with it. (to my understanding anyway.)
Maybe I missed some replies In some threads? (In fact, I would wager I have.)
[blockquote]To then expect me to explain why a comment that starts by implying that nobody else here has been fair to him,[blockquote]
Except that I didn’t mean that, or rather, It wasn’t what I wanted to say. I understand, now that I’m thinking of it, how that was an error of mine. The meaning I was going for was more ‘If I am to give him the benefit of a doubt.’, rather then to imply that no one else was being fair. (However, again, upon you pointing it out, I can see how I got that wrong. I guess I have internalized some figures of speech to mean some odd things.)
Also, I admit I was being passive-aggressive when I said I was disappointed. Though, I was also being honest. It DID upset me that you didn’t read what I said. *Especially* because I want to fit in here, and be a contributing member of the community. I wont lie. It stung to be confronted like that by you two, I apologize for lashing out like that.
Anyway, this is exactly why I wanted you to be frank with me. (Thank you, by the way, for having the patience to do so.)
either way, I apologize for the Errors. Like I said before, my comment before was mostly to point out how even if I assume buttboy is just stupid, he is still VERY stupid. (and reprehensible.) I just didn’t really.. eh.. say it clearly. At all. Not ok of me in hindsight.
(Scrolls up)
Oh. Well that was boring. If he’s going to come back couldn’t he at least try to be more entertaining? Learn to juggle or something, whatever.
@marinaliteyears
Honestly, any comment that starts with “to be fair to (known troll)” is probably going to raise some people’s hackles, because it suggests that other people weren’t being fair. Can you see why that could be irritating to some of the people who’ve been arguing with him in depth for several pages?
The random caps thing may be purely my issue, so don’t feel like everyone is judging you for that. I think the reason I automatically skim comments that look like that is that a lot of MRAs for whatever weird reason have a tendency to use capitalization for emphasis, so when I see it I’m subconsciously going “ugh, those guys”.
@Cassandrakitty.
Of course. Combine an unintentional implication that no one else was being fair, and a lack of the intended condemnation, (Especially after a long argument with said troll.) And I perfectly understand where I went into the wrong from the get go, and why everyone was understandably annoyed.
As for the caps thing, it is a really annoying habit of mine. Its been a pain retraining myself to stop doing it. Even if its purely your issue, I don’t blame you for being bothered by it. its bad form irregardless of how many people it may or may not bother. (plus, it bothers *me* when I notice it, and that is more then enough.)
I should specify, I meant “that no one else was being fair” WAS the unintentional implication.
Darn messy sentences. I really ought to work on that.
Just out of curiosity, do you have any idea where the capitalization thing came from? I’ve always wondered why so many MRAs do it, and you’re the first non-MRA I’ve encountered who does (though they seem to do it as a replacement for italics). Is there some forum where everyone does it that got people into the habit or something?
..huh. No, not that I can think of. I mean, I suppose it could have been my circle of friends, (who probably outgrew it while I still did it, sometime after I lost contact.) or any number of websites I went to regularly in the past. (gaiaonline, neopets.. to name a few.) none of which I imagine have much to do with MRA specifically, and none of which lack an italics feature.
It is pretty bizarre though, to know I share a habit with any number of MRA.. gross. Now I have extra reason to kick the habit as soon as humanly possible.
LOL! Sorry, didn’t mean to make you feel contaminated by association. I just wondered if maybe it was a relic of, say, a forum where certain html tags didn’t work and people had started doing it as a work-around and then it just became a habit.
Well, now that you say it like that, I have a working theory on why it has become so big a thing for me: Ive been pretty slow to embrace HTML, Especially in places where it isn’t a built in button. (like here, for example. Notice how I use * to emphasize when not capitalizing incorrectly, and have yet to use the block quote correctly.)
Mostly because I’ve always had it as a button, and when I haven’t had it as a button, its like arcane magic as far as my understanding goes.
I know I had the capitalization habit (which I hope I managed to outgrow since) from doing a lot of IRC based chatting in college. It only had bolding, underline and 16 colors (for both text and background) and using all of these were discouraged in most chatrooms I frequented. (Mostly because some users misused them horribly in the past with things like flooding the channel with multicolored ASCII art.)
If you use Firefox apparently there’s a plug-in that makes it easier. I haven’t tried it, but I think Kittehs was saying that it worked well for her in another thread.
Citation needed. Plus where is your definition of “dating success”? And your measures?
Come on, Dogknees, put some effort into this.
Random caps is also popular in pseudo-science, conspiracy and extreme religious circles. They do it on websites where they have access to everything HTML has to offer. Since MRAs have overlap with all those sub-cultures, I’d say it’s related. Not that that gives any indication of why they do it, or where it started.
But we’re not talking about different age groups. We’re treating men and women as monoliths.
Back at the original post, I don’t get why the hacker thinks he’s a success. 91 first dates with no follow-up sounds like a pretty rubbishing dating pattern to me. I mean, unless you’re into first dates. And probably pretty awkward ones at that, if there was no second date.
So he manipulates women who otherwise wouldn’t date him to go on a date with him. And clearly, neither of them enjoy that experience enough to go out again.
Dude, those women you think you want to date? You actually don’t like going on a date with them. And the reason why they wouldn’t go on a date with the real you? It’s cos they already know they won’t enjoy dating you. Sounds like the OKCupid algorithm you worked so hard to hack was actually doing a good job in preventing you from going on dates with people you don’t enjoy dating!
TL; DR: Get a clue!
You know, if these people actually wanted to “succeed” at OkCupid, they’d be better off reading the stuff that OkCupid has compiled for them. Go to http://blog.okcupid.com/ and you’ll find plenty of research into peoples profiles, preferences and behaviour. Like, you are more likely to get a response to your first message if it is correctly spelt and punctuated, and shows that you have read the person’s profile and are interested in them as a person. Shocking, eh?
“Stuff” meaning “being a dull jackass who thinks he’s smarter than he is.” That will slow you down when dating.
marinaliteyears – seconding all cassandrakitty’s said in her last few comments.
Re: the random caps – it annoys me, too, and yes, there is an add-on in Firefox for html buttons. (Ignore this bit if you don’t use Firefox, obviously.)
Go to the add-ons page on their site and search for “text formatting toolbar”. Once you’ve downloaded it, set it to html. I haven’t been eaten by the blockquote monster once since I started using it. :)