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When you assume: A “Nice Guy” launches a pre-emptive strike

Sexy buff party guys
Sexy buff party guys

So I’ve been reading Reddit’s CreepyPMs subreddit a lot lately, where the recipients of bizarre and, well, creepy personal messages share them with the world. As you might imagine, some of the creepiest come from complete strangers on dating sites, like the following message received by a young woman on MeetMe, who put up a profile stating that she was looking for friends only (she already has a boyfriend) and that she would talk to anyone.

Well, one young man didn’t quite believe her, and sent this message:

assume

He doesn’t judge, huh? That’s the most judgy non-judgemental message I’ve ever seen.

If you haven’t already checked out CreepyPMs, go take a look. You can lose hours in there.

 

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cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

Ah, the more innocent internet days of yore, where Goatse still shocked most people.

kittehserf
6 years ago

But then, up until a couple of months ago I was still wondering why guys were complaining that their partners didn’t like facials.
I just kept thinking that facials were expensive so I thought the guys would be glad if their partner didn’t want one. Also, my skincare routine has nothing to do with Mr M, I’ll moisturise if I damn well please!

Yeah…::facepalm::

Oh good, I wasn’t the only one. Also semen on the face, okay, if that’s your kink, fine, but to assume women in general like it? Emphasis on ASSume there.

I don’t know what Goatse is and I think this is a case of ignorance is bliss, so Don’t Spoil It For Me! 😛

dallasapple
dallasapple
6 years ago

I don’t know what some guys are thinking but I mentioned in that Fisto thread that my husband all of a sudden did that .Seriously in the middle of sex he started slapping my you know what with it . It took me a minute to absorb and I was just kind of hoping it was an accident …then I just bursted out laughing . I couldn’t help it its was the most bizarre silliest thing ..Its like uh…..if you are dong that for me ? You can stop now .If its for you hand me a pillow so I can put it over my face to laugh into until you are done.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

You know some guys will try to convince you that it’s just as good for your skin as the kind of facial you get in a salon, right? Hint to clueless dudes – don’t try that argument on a feminist, she will laugh at you and then tell all her friends.

marinerachel
marinerachel
6 years ago

Or the “It has anti-depressant properties when ingested”. Oh yeah? And what’s the proposed mechanism of action?

kittehserf
6 years ago

I just wonder what’s going on in their minds if they get off on the idea. It’s one of those things that goes straight into the “demeaning” basket for me and would be a huge red flag.

“You want to ejaculate on me even though I’ve shown no interest in that? Fine, but you have to let some guy do it to you first.”

kittehserf
6 years ago

“Sorry dude, your semen isn’t chocolate. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”

(Which is not saying I don’t like oral sex, but oy, what a fucking stupid thing to say.)

opheliamonarch
6 years ago

So glad I’m not alone in my innocence. 🙂

Somehow I don’t think Clinique would include that in their ingredients; baby foreskins yes, but no to the liquid gold!

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

Those kind of argument are like, hey, if I was about to do whatever you’re suggesting? Now I’m not.

sparky
sparky
6 years ago

Didn’t the Liquid Gold sperm guy claim it made women “buzz with happy feminine energy,” or something like that?

dallasapple
dallasapple
6 years ago

I do not know what Goatse is and I do not want to know . I made the mistake of clicking on the link that explained that one yesterday about the residue on the mans penis .One guy had said something like a week later cant get her stink off of me . That’s enough “education” to last me some time .

marinerachel
marinerachel
6 years ago

It’s funny because, I think for most of us, we can be pretty flexible and accommodating when we care about someone. They don’t need to lie.

I’m going to be LESS inclined to do ANYTHING for someone who lies to me in order to get them off, not more.

If these people knew how to make human connections they wouldn’t need to lie.

dallasapple
dallasapple
6 years ago

Or the “It has anti-depressant properties when ingested”. Oh yeah? And what’s the proposed mechanism of action?

I also heard it helps prevent cancer and aides in weight loss.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

Kind of funny to put the supposedly magical health-giving properties of ingested sperm alongside Mikey’s claims that any woman who’s had lots of sex is going to end up looking hideous, huh?

dallasapple
dallasapple
6 years ago

Kind of funny to put the supposedly magical health-giving properties of ingested sperm alongside Mikey’s claims that any woman who’s had lots of sex is going to end up looking hideous, huh?

Right they should have flawless skin ,be in great shape ,and at low low risk of cancer.

All jokes aside though there is evidence that regular sex with a trusted partner, especially a long term partner does actually have health benefits . But its not just the sex . Its being in a healthy, mutually respectful relationship with someone you care about and cares about you.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

That would tie into the thing about having strong relationships in general being good for your health, too.

Felisha
Felisha
6 years ago

@hellkell & kittehserf & AIT

Your immaturity is certainly showing. You’re all acting like arrogant, over-sensitive, religious fanatical idiots.

Last I checked, this blog isn’t a church. Nor are you the priests who can hear every whisper resonating off the walls and ceiling, then calling judgment on every ‘pussycat’ jest that is made. If you don’t like what I say than don’t read it. It’s that simple.

And it’s as David wrote in advance to all of us about his blog > “It’s not a safe space. You may run across upsetting and possibly triggering things in the posts and in the fairly loosely moderated comments as well.”

Well I didn’t expect my jest would upset you, you chose to be upset. Now you continue to berate me and I’m going to give it back to you because feminists aren’t entitled to take shit from anti-fems like yourselves: go fuck yourself!

dallasapple
dallasapple
6 years ago

That would tie into the thing about having strong relationships in general being good for your health, too.

Very much so .

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

Cool, so Felisha doesn’t know what a feminist is either.

dallasapple
dallasapple
6 years ago

@hellkell & kittehserf & AIT

Your immaturity is certainly showing. You’re all acting like arrogant, over-sensitive, religious fanatical idiots.

Last I checked, this blog isn’t a church. Nor are you the priests who can hear every whisper resonating off the walls and ceiling, then calling judgment on every ‘pussycat’ jest that is made. If you don’t like what I say than don’t read it. It’s that simple.

And it’s as David wrote in advance to all of us about his blog > “It’s not a safe space. You may run across upsetting and possibly triggering things in the posts and in the fairly loosely moderated comments as well.”

Well I didn’t expect my jest would upset you, you chose to be upset. Now you continue to berate me and I’m going to give it back to you because feminists aren’t entitled to take shit from anti-fems like yourselves: go fuck yourself!

Well I guess I have a choice here . Go get some popcorn and sit back and watch . Or just call it a night because the conversation we were enjoying is over now.

maggiesausage
maggiesausage
6 years ago

Fess up: who left the excavator sitting around in this thread with the keys in the ignition? Looks like someone’s taken it for a joyride and just can’t stop digging.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

I vote for continuing the conversation. It’s not like there’s anything unique or interesting about Felisha’s brand of waaahhh you’re stealing my freeze peaches.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

(Also I’m now thinking troll.)

dallasapple
dallasapple
6 years ago

I have a suggestion . Why not just ignore Felisha .I don’t care if you think that makes me immature Felisha, actually that is how I have handled my children and grandsons temper tantrums. It works. They wear themselves out eventually and get no reward out of it .

sparky
sparky
6 years ago

::Reads Felisha’s tantrum about how the “immature” people called her out on her hole-digging.::

::Pops the popcorn::

Oh, this’ll be fun.

dallasapple
dallasapple
6 years ago

Cass we cross posted .Totally agree 100%.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

Aw, but the conversation about silly things men say when trying to talk women into sex was more fun.

Ally S
6 years ago

Well I didn’t expect my jest would upset you, you chose to be upset.

My eyes have rolled all the way to Brazil again.

dallasapple
dallasapple
6 years ago

That’s what I meant .

How about “please I won’t put it in all the way ,just a little bit ,just the tip”

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

I really think this is just a troll, given that there was no previous engagement before the stupid “pussy” comment and subsequent meltdown.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

My favorite was “everyone likes anal once they try it”. To which my response was “cool, but let’s try it on you first since you’re more excited about it than I am”.

dallasapple
dallasapple
6 years ago

My favorite was “everyone likes anal once they try it”. To which my response was “cool, but let’s try it on you first since you’re more excited about it than I am”.

Many many many women have their most mind blowing orgasms with anal sex! In fact a LOT of women prefer anal sex over vaginal hands down! My wife BEGS me for it ! There are LOTS and LOTS of nerve endings in there ya know!

If you don’t LOVE it even after you tried it ? Then you are doing it wrong.

dallasapple
dallasapple
6 years ago

OOPS 1st paragraph above in my post is quoting Cassandra.

kittehserf
6 years ago

Funny reversal of the usual thing with anal: I used to be interested in trying it, but Mr K just doesn’t want to, and that’s fine by me. It’s amazing how people can live without doing the One All Important Sex Thing You Muuuuusssst without exploding.

dallasapple
dallasapple
6 years ago

Inability to swallow without gagging is all psychological .

dallasapple
dallasapple
6 years ago

Funny reversal of the usual thing with anal: I used to be interested in trying it, but Mr K just doesn’t want to, and that’s fine by me. It’s amazing how people can live without doing the One All Important Sex Thing You Muuuuusssst without exploding.

I tried it .More than once. That was the end of that. Maybe I was just doing it wrong?

kittehserf
6 years ago

You musta been! Because how else could it be uncomfortable/painful/simply not enjoyable?

opheliamonarch
6 years ago

It is so easy to start talking about personal stuff on here, nearly told you all far too much about Mr M.

Edited version: I can’t imagine how anal is even possible. Not that I am in any way judging AT ALL. It just seems like something that might land me in hospital and that is NOT sexy!

kittehserf
6 years ago

Oh god hospital stories about Blokes With Strange Insertions … my favourite was from a manager whose wife was a nurse at the Royal Melbourne. Some guy came in with a teddy bear’s arm stuck in his rear end. (Poor teddy!)

The nurses were quietly singing – and you need to know the Play School theme to get this – “There’s a bear in there … “

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

ER staff have the best stories.

kittehserf
6 years ago

Oh yes. 🙂

opheliamonarch
6 years ago

Sorry, I was just kidding and only viewing it from a ‘guys trying to pressure women into it’ angle.

To me it seems a bit like when you look at the Karma Sutra and wonder, what goes where, how? If I could figure it out I’m sure it’d be very enjoyable but it still reminds me of constructing Ikea furniture.

Argenti Aertheri
6 years ago

It’s worse than ikea stuff, I have no issue with ikea directions.

“Well I didn’t expect my jest would upset you, you chose to be upset.”

/).< *hands Felicia a copy of Derailing for Dummies*

Ally, I think we have a Brazilian poster, maybe they can locate your eyes? Big country though, and maybe they got a lucky trip to the amazon.

kittehserf
6 years ago

Eh, no need to apologise, Ophelia. It is something you have to be careful doing and I find the “you must do/like anal” blokes contemptible too.

The few things I’ve seen from the Kama Sutra just make me think “OW” and that they look more distracting than sexy. Gymnastics and contortionism aren’t my idea of a good time!

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

Those poses mostly make me think that you should probably do them on a big gym mat, because if you fall over and off the bed/onto a hard surface that could be unfortunate.

kittehserf
6 years ago

Yup. Something could get sprained. :S

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

Never let it be said that all feminists hate penises! Because one of the things I was thinking was, so, say you have an erection, and the way you fall leads to it being smushed under you/bent at an odd angle/hit on a hard edge on the way down. That seems like it would be distinctly un-fun.

kittehserf
6 years ago

OW OW OW

I don’t even have one and OW

Robert Ramirez
6 years ago

I don’t view the Kama Sutra has a sex manual…it’s more like advanced yoga. There is a spiritual element to it.

maggiesausage
maggiesausage
6 years ago

Yeah, Peyronie’s disease looks like a total nightmare.