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When you assume: A “Nice Guy” launches a pre-emptive strike

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Sexy buff party guys

So I’ve been reading Reddit’s CreepyPMs subreddit a lot lately, where the recipients of bizarre and, well, creepy personal messages share them with the world. As you might imagine, some of the creepiest come from complete strangers on dating sites, like the following message received by a young woman on MeetMe, who put up a profile stating that she was looking for friends only (she already has a boyfriend) and that she would talk to anyone.

Well, one young man didn’t quite believe her, and sent this message:

assume

He doesn’t judge, huh? That’s the most judgy non-judgemental message I’ve ever seen.

If you haven’t already checked out CreepyPMs, go take a look. You can lose hours in there.

 

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Posted on January 19, 2014, in alpha males, boner rage, creepy, empathy deficit, evil sexy ladies, mantrum, men who should not ever be with women ever, misogyny, nice guys, reddit, the enigma that is ladies and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 322 Comments.

  1. Aw, but the conversation about silly things men say when trying to talk women into sex was more fun.

  2. Well I didn’t expect my jest would upset you, you chose to be upset.

    My eyes have rolled all the way to Brazil again.

  3. That’s what I meant .

    How about “please I won’t put it in all the way ,just a little bit ,just the tip”

  4. I really think this is just a troll, given that there was no previous engagement before the stupid “pussy” comment and subsequent meltdown.

  5. My favorite was “everyone likes anal once they try it”. To which my response was “cool, but let’s try it on you first since you’re more excited about it than I am”.

  6. My favorite was “everyone likes anal once they try it”. To which my response was “cool, but let’s try it on you first since you’re more excited about it than I am”.

    Many many many women have their most mind blowing orgasms with anal sex! In fact a LOT of women prefer anal sex over vaginal hands down! My wife BEGS me for it ! There are LOTS and LOTS of nerve endings in there ya know!

    If you don’t LOVE it even after you tried it ? Then you are doing it wrong.

  7. OOPS 1st paragraph above in my post is quoting Cassandra.

  8. Funny reversal of the usual thing with anal: I used to be interested in trying it, but Mr K just doesn’t want to, and that’s fine by me. It’s amazing how people can live without doing the One All Important Sex Thing You Muuuuusssst without exploding.

  9. Inability to swallow without gagging is all psychological .

  10. Funny reversal of the usual thing with anal: I used to be interested in trying it, but Mr K just doesn’t want to, and that’s fine by me. It’s amazing how people can live without doing the One All Important Sex Thing You Muuuuusssst without exploding.

    I tried it .More than once. That was the end of that. Maybe I was just doing it wrong?

  11. You musta been! Because how else could it be uncomfortable/painful/simply not enjoyable?

  12. It is so easy to start talking about personal stuff on here, nearly told you all far too much about Mr M.

    Edited version: I can’t imagine how anal is even possible. Not that I am in any way judging AT ALL. It just seems like something that might land me in hospital and that is NOT sexy!

  13. It wouldn’t land you in the hospital unless you didn’t use lube, or something random went wrong. Many gay men do it anally and don’t have injuries.

  14. Oh god hospital stories about Blokes With Strange Insertions … my favourite was from a manager whose wife was a nurse at the Royal Melbourne. Some guy came in with a teddy bear’s arm stuck in his rear end. (Poor teddy!)

    The nurses were quietly singing – and you need to know the Play School theme to get this – “There’s a bear in there … “

  15. ER staff have the best stories.

  16. Sorry, I was just kidding and only viewing it from a ‘guys trying to pressure women into it’ angle.

    To me it seems a bit like when you look at the Karma Sutra and wonder, what goes where, how? If I could figure it out I’m sure it’d be very enjoyable but it still reminds me of constructing Ikea furniture.

  17. It’s worse than ikea stuff, I have no issue with ikea directions.

    “Well I didn’t expect my jest would upset you, you chose to be upset.”

    /).< *hands Felicia a copy of Derailing for Dummies*

    Ally, I think we have a Brazilian poster, maybe they can locate your eyes? Big country though, and maybe they got a lucky trip to the amazon.

  18. Eh, no need to apologise, Ophelia. It is something you have to be careful doing and I find the “you must do/like anal” blokes contemptible too.

    The few things I’ve seen from the Kama Sutra just make me think “OW” and that they look more distracting than sexy. Gymnastics and contortionism aren’t my idea of a good time!

  19. Those poses mostly make me think that you should probably do them on a big gym mat, because if you fall over and off the bed/onto a hard surface that could be unfortunate.

  20. Yup. Something could get sprained. :S

  21. Never let it be said that all feminists hate penises! Because one of the things I was thinking was, so, say you have an erection, and the way you fall leads to it being smushed under you/bent at an odd angle/hit on a hard edge on the way down. That seems like it would be distinctly un-fun.

  22. OW OW OW

    I don’t even have one and OW

  23. I don’t view the Kama Sutra has a sex manual…it’s more like advanced yoga. There is a spiritual element to it.

  24. Yeah, Peyronie’s disease looks like a total nightmare.

  25. It wouldn’t land you in the hospital unless you didn’t use lube, or something random went wrong. Many gay men do it anally and don’t have injuries.

    This is enough for me to say NO to anal sex.

    “There are a number of health risks with anal sex, and anal intercourse is the riskiest form of sexual activity for several reasons, including the following: ”

    ” Studies have suggested that anal exposure to HIV poses 30 times more risk for the receptive partner than vaginal exposure. Exposure to the human papillomavirus (HPV) may also lead to the development of anal warts and anal cancer. Using lubricants can help some, but doesn’t completely prevent tearing. ”

    And this .

    “The anus was designed to hold in feces. The anus is surrounded with a ring-like muscle, called the anal sphincter, which tightens after we defecate. When the muscle is tight, anal penetration can be painful and difficult. Repetitive anal sex may lead to weakening of the anal sphincter, making it difficult to hold in feces until you can get to the toilet. However, Kegel exercises to strengthen the sphincter may help prevent this problem or correct it. ”

    And this :

    “The anus is full of bacteria. Even if both partners do not have a sexually-transmitted infection or disease, bacteria normally in the anus can potentially infect the giving partner. Practicing vaginal sex after anal sex can also lead to vaginal and urinary tract infections. ”

    And that’s even if you can do it with out any pain . So its not about not enough lube or something goes wrong . Anal sex carries far more risk than vaginal sex.(or oral) That’s not including the emergency room visits if something does go “wrong” .

    The riskiest form of sexual activity is enough for me to say ..UHHH…

  26. Spiritual including prayers those muscles will unhinge eventually! ;)

  27. Yeah, Peyronie’s disease looks like a total nightmare.

    why why did I look up what that is whyyyyyyyyy

  28. I’m pretty flexible and to me it just seems like too much effort. YMMW, obviously.

  29. You musta been! Because how else could it be uncomfortable/painful/simply not enjoyable?

    It must be psychological or I didn’t use enough “lube”

  30. One of missionary’s attractions for me is that I get to lie down. :P

  31. Eh, I’m very firmly in the “my ass is marked exit only” camp, but I feel like this is drifting into territory that could feel really shaming for people who actually like anal.

  32. I think the names they have for the various positions very intriguing…you could name emo bands after them.

  33. I hope nobody’s feeling that way. Anal can be very pleasurable indeed, risks or no.

  34. Yeah, so sorry if I came off that way. I was actually just meaning it looked uncomfortable considering willy size etc. I am so sorry if it came off as ‘anal is bad’.

    My OCD’s going into overdrive now, I’m gonna go check the door locks a few hundred times.

    Sorry again.

    Night folks.

  35. Re the Goatse guy, Gawker did an interesting story on him awhile back. You can see it here. The picture in question isn’t in there, but it is described early on. And no, no goat is involved, either. If you really want to see it, it’s at goatse.cx; copy and paste that at your own risk, I’m not going to link directly to it. All the warnings apply: NSFW, gross, may burn your eyes, scar you for life, etc.

    And yeah, a guy just casually trying to slip it into my pooper…ain’t gonna happen. Aside from the question of me winding up incontinent (I have irritable bowel syndrome, so it’s a real concern), it’s a matter of trust. We would have to talk it out extensively beforehand. And even then, I could still chicken out at any time; yes, I am that skittish. (And condoms and lube are non-negotiable, too.)

    I can remember reading one interesting account (I think it was in Nerve.com) of a woman who agreed to do it…but only if her partner let her peg him first, with a dildo of a size comparable to his own well-endowed schlong. He agreed that this was only fair, and the outcome was fine for both of them. But again, talk and trust were key here. The pornos are full of shit when it comes to bum-boinking…you cannot just ram it in and jackhammer away without a lot of nasty consequences. (Same goes for vaginal and oral, too, but anal especially.) Care and caution may not look so hot on camera, but then, the best-feeling sex generally doesn’t, either. Maybe that’s why porn bores me so much, when it doesn’t actively depress me. The people in it really don’t look like they’re having that good a time. And what’s the point of looking at that?

  36. People really need to understand that porn is a visual medium and therefore it’s about what looks good rather than what feels good. It’s like those super fancy cakes that they make with giant sugar sculptures on the top and all kinds of decorations that may or may not be edible – they’re not for eating, they’re for looking at, and even if they are edible a cake made with the primary goal of looking weird and cool isn’t necessarily going to taste that great.

  37. No I feel like its drifting into the territory that if you don’t like anal you are doing it wrong or something “random” went wrong.When the fact of the matter is everything about it is having to be extra careful to avoid pain injury and infection . Its the highest risk sexual activity you can engage in period.

    I don’t care what anyone else does and likes it .I really don’t . But anal sex is not a “simple matter” of lube and relaxing and the only problem is random otherwise its a blast.

    It wouldn’t land you in the hospital unless you didn’t use lube, or something random went wrong. Many gay men do it anally and don’t have injuries.

  38. What Auggz said really isn’t what you’re reading out of it.

  39. I have IBS too, Bina? Isn’t it fun?

    Though I confess I don’t mind the power farts. :P

  40. TMI

    Uh, so I haven’t had a proper human penis in my backend, but relatively human sized dildos, and I can safely report that it largely is a matter of lube and relaxation. Condoms are, of course, a needed thing — and a new one if you’re then inserting into another orifice, but it really isn’t The Most Dangerous sex act. Like, sexytimes with me involve biting, and human mouths are filthy, breaking my skin would require antibiotics, and it isn’t the sort of thing where a layer of latex will safely prevent that need. And that’s not getting into kinkier things.

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