Dalrock on why men should avoid women who’ve wasted “a lot of courtship” and “used up their most attractive/fertile years.”

Woman with surplus courtship

Woman with surplus courtship

Dalrock, a manosphere traditionalist with a great love of charts and statistics and other accoutrements of SCIENCE, has managed to figure out a way to stretch “don’t be so picky, ladies, or you’ll get old and ugly and no man will ever want you” out to 1500 words.

Here are a few of them:

Men foot the searching costs in the marriage and sexual marketplace (MMP & SMP).  This means bearing most of the risk of rejection and expending the bulk of the resources to facilitate the process of meeting and getting to know one another.

Oh dear. We’re off to a very unpromising start here.

As the ones who bear the costs of courtship, men have a strong incentive to minimize the number of women they court and the overall duration of time spent in the process.  However, as the consumers of courtship, women have an incentive to draw the process out as long as possible and to receive courtship from as many men as possible.

Here’s some surveillance footage of an average American woman being courted by several men.

But now — get this — the ladies are waiting longer to marry!

Just think about what this does to the dude navigating the marriage market hoping to “maximize his Pareto efficiency,” if you know what I mean and I think you do.

He needs to manage risk vs reward.  When courting, there are two fundamental risks.  These are the risk of wasting resources on the wrong women, and the risk of rejection harming the man’s reputation/MMV.

So watch out, ladies, because if you wait too long, guys are going to decide you’re not much of a bargain!

For a man who is managing the risks of courtship outlined above, the age of a woman is very important.  The older a woman is, the more likely it is that she is very picky and/or not seriously looking for a husband.

Exactly! Because women never change their mind because they’re, you know, in a different stage of their life or anything.

Older women also are less attractive from a courtship perspective because they have used up more of their most attractive/fertile years, and while their attractiveness for marriage has declined their expectations for courtship have only increased.

This reminds me of that famous joke, you know, where that woman approaches Winston Churchill at a party and says, “Sir, you are drunk.”

And he replies: “And you, Bessie, have used up your most attractive/fertile years. But I shall be sober in the morning, and you will still have used up your most attractive/fertile years.”

That Churchill, what a card!

Consider the 25% of current early thirties White women who still haven’t married;  unless they are terminally unattractive an awful lot of courtship has almost certainly been wasted on them.

Are there really a lot of guys who look back on the women they dated in their twenties and think, “boy, I wasted a lot of courtship on those gals! I mean, I wasted nearly 14 courtship on Jessa alone!” (Also, who knew that the women are always the ones to blame when heterosexual couples in their twenties break up?)

They aren’t just bad bets for courtship today, but (in retrospect) they clearly were bad bets for courtship for the last 15 years. …

Put simply, the extended delay of marriage by women has placed marriage minded men in a dilemma;  older women are (generally speaking) known bad bets for courtship, but half of early twenties women are also poor bets for courtship.

Well, you could always marry a dude.

There are only two logical ways men can respond to women’s extension of courtship.

Wait, really? Please, please, please, let one of the ways be “marry a dude.”

The first logical choice is to recognize that these women are debasing marriage, and decide to “court” for sex and not marriage.

Damn. Anyway, sexual relationships are fine, but you are aware that there are other kinds of relationships — sorry, “courting” — besides sex and marriage, right?

Ok, we still have one more. Marry a dude. Marry a dude. Marry a dude.

But while “courting” for sex is a logical choice, it is not a moral choice, and we still do see men courting for marriage.  For these men, having a fairly low age cutoff makes a great deal of sense.

That’s your, er, “solution?” Marry a teenager? Or a woman at most in her early twenties?

As Dalrock knows, but doesn’t want to believe, those who marry when they’re very young are much more likely to divorce than those who marry when they’re older. For evidence, see this chart, which I found elsewhere on Dalrock’s own blog:

fig_19_series_23_no_22_p_27

But hope springs eternal for modern misogynistic manospherian marriage market minded men (MMMMMMM).

About David Futrelle

I run the blog We Hunted the Mammoth, which tracks (and mocks) online misogyny. My writing has appeared in a wide variety of places, including Salon, Time.com, the Washington Post, the New York Times Book Review and Money magazine. I like cats.

Posted on November 18, 2013, in a woman is always to blame, evil old ladies, evil sexy ladies, evil women, marriage strike, men who should not ever be with women ever, misogyny, MRA, oppressed white men, patriarchy, playing the victim, reactionary bullshit and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1,686 Comments.

  1. Also, I can’t get over the moment when IBB tried to divide and conquer the thread by playing favorites and telling everyone that Kirby deserved special treatment because she (snort) was being so polite. He really did think everybody was either going to throw a tantrum or fall all over themselves to win his favor, didn’t he?

    Must be nice to live in his world. When it’s not rage-inducing, disappointing, and hollow, that is.

  2. (paraphrase): marital rape? Impossible if the wife submits to the husband at all times

    The kindest possible thing to say to that is that it’s logically valid.

  3. Reflecting on this thread, I think no fault divorce is so horrifying for him because he knows how awful he is and he’s afraid that when his wife realizes she can do better, there will be nothing he can do legally to force her to stay.

    I just hope he doesn’t use violence.

  4. @Flying Mouse:

    Also, I can’t get over the moment when IBB tried to divide and conquer the thread by playing favorites and telling everyone that Kirby deserved special treatment because she (snort) was being so polite.

    The best part for me was two-fold. One, how condescending he was when he declared that I was getting “special treatment,” as if civil conversation were a pat on the head and a piece of candy given to a child. Two, that his “special treatment” was him putting my name as the address and quoting my comments while still just repeating himself over and over.

    Really makes a boy feel special, that.

  5. Aww I somehow missed all this when it happened. It was a fun and infuriating read though. I can never quite understand how some people can think they’re being perfectly polite while literally demanding for others to be slaves.

  6. Dalrock is actually NOT a Christian. He doesn’t attend church regularly (or at all, from what he’s said). He likes to quote the Bible, without living out its teachings in his life. He concerns himself with what other women say and do without concerning himself on what he can do to help others be better.

    He has a habit of fisking women who write something online he does not agree with, or they have criticism over the manosphere. He has gone after women from Sheila Gregoire to a SAHM/housewife who likes to blog about religion and gives away rosaries. He clearly has nothing better to do. No…he doesn’t like the idea of women having their own opinions, no matter who they are. For men who tout “male traditionalism,” they sure spend a lot of time on the internet blogging about how men feel and it’s like…don’t you people have jobs?

    As a Christian, I find all of this “traditionalist” “manosphere” stuff to be a load of crap sky-high stinking up outer space. I have wasted enough time reading Dalrock to know he’s not really aligned with Christianity. Has anyone noticed something about his entourage? They’re all a bunch of single and bitter men who clearly are angry about the “one who got away” with a guy who had it. By “it” I mean an iota of self-confidence no amount of “Game” can teach anyone.

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