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Don’t Be That Rape Apologist: Arthur Koestler, Judgy Bitch, and why MRAs hate rape awareness campaigns

Arthur Koestler: Brilliant writer, serial rapist?

Arthur Koestler: Brilliant writer, serial rapist?

Today I’m going to talk about Janet Bloomfield — AKA JudgyBitch — and her bizarre attack on the original Don’t Be That Guy anti-rape posters in Edmonton. But I’m going to take a bit of a detour first, so bear with me.

I recently picked up a copy of Arthur Koestler’s The Case of the Midwife Toad, a nonfiction account of a scientific feud that provided me with some diverting travel reading and put me in the mood to read more of Koestler’s nonfiction.

But doing some rudimentary Googling I made a rather horrifying discovery about Koestler, whom I’d admired since reading his bracing account of breaking with Communism in the classic The God That Failed anthology: according to a recent biographer, Koestler was a serial rapist and abuser of women.

While some doubt the evidence of rape, even his supporters have had to acknowledge, as one reviewer has written, that Koestler’s “treatment of the many women in his life [was] – even without the ‘rape’ – deeply unpleasant. He was manipulative, demanding, sexually voracious and utterly faithless.”

Koestler himself doesn’t exactly make a persuasive witness for his own defense, having once written to his second wife that “without an element of initial rape there is no delight.”

But in some ways as eye-opening as these revelations has been the response of some of Koestler’s defenders. Case in point: Michael Scammell, the author of a nearly 700-page biography of Koestler. After detailing many instances of Koestler’s mistreatment of women, he writes of the accusations of violent rape:

The exercise of male strength to gain sexual satisfaction wasn’t exactly uncommon at that time … The line between consensual and forced sex was often blurred.

Hey, it was the 1950s. EVERYBODY raped women back then.

The sad fact is that, while this is no defense of Koestler’s alleged behavior, there is an element of truth to Scammell’s claims. The line between consensual sex and rape was often blurred back then. Women were often cajoled, pressured, manipulated, and forced into sex by more physically powerful men. And neither party necessarily recognized what had happened as rape.

The fact that the line between consensual sex and rape is a lot clearer today — and that the rate of rape has declined markedly in the past several decades — is largely due to feminism. Feminism challenged older attitudes and definitions of rape and worked at changing these attitudes through education and awareness campaigns.

Feminist activists worked on teaching — and reteaching — both men and women what is and what isn’t acceptable sexual behavior.

It’s an ongoing process, which continues in awareness campaigns like this one, the Don’t Be That Guy campaign launched in Edmonton (and elsewhere):

posters1edmonton-police-re-launch-poster-campaign-to-deter-sexual-assault_posters

It’s pretty clear that there’s a lot more work to be done, as the reactions to this campaign have pretty clearly shown.

Anyone who has read much in the so-called manosphere — on MRA and PUA sites alike — will have noticed a lot of alarmist nonsense about the alleged difficulties men have in determining if a sex act with a woman is consensual or not, as if it is simply impossible, if there is any confusion, for men to open their mouths and ask. MRAs and PUAs act as if obtaining consent “the way feminists want it” would consist of some complicated legalistic procedure that would ruin sex forever.

This is patent nonsense. Clarifying issues of consent about (and during) sex — making anything that’s blurry clear — can be done in less time than it takes to read this sentence.

“Do you like this?” “Yes.”

“Do you want me to [incredibly dirty thing]?” “Yes.”

But, as I said, the MRAs and PUAs complaining about the alleged difficulties of consent don’t really seem to be interested in making things clear. They would, it seems, rather have things as blurry as possible.

And that’s because a lot of them want to return to a world in which, to paraphrase that quote from Scammell above, the exercise of male strength to gain sexual satisfaction isn’t exactly uncommon, and in which the line between consensual and forced sex is often blurred.

They would prefer to return to a world in which it’s considered fair game to “take advantage” of seriously drunk women. One in which all accusations of date rape could be dismissed as the result of a fickle woman changing her mind later.

And that, I think, is why MRAs have such a problem with date rape awareness campaigns like Edmonton’s Don’t Be That Guy campaign — which they try to both ridicule as unnecessary and denounce as an exercise in Nazi-style anti-male propaganda. Sometimes both at the same time.

Consider, for example, Janet Bloomfield/JudgyBitch’s recent A Voice for Men post on the Edmonton poster controversies. Bloomfield — who apparently likes to think of herself as one of those no-nonsense women who can get by just fine without any help from feminists, thank you very much — begins by trying to ridicule the original Don’t Be That Guy posters as simple-minded, obvious and utterly unnecessary.

Referring to several specific posters from the original campaign, she writes:

No, obviously, you should not be having sex with a woman so drunk she is passed out face down on the couch with her ass in the air. …

Obviously, helping a drunk woman home does not entitle you to sex.

And in what is going to come as SHOCKING news to everyone, if someone doesn’t want to have sex with you, you should not have sex with them.

I’ll give you a while to process that information, because I’m sure that until this clever campaign came along, you were all busy screwing comatose girls at parties and gleefully hailing cabs so you could help ladies home and then rape them.

That would be very witty and pointed but for the fact that, guess what, men do attempt to “have sex” with women who are passed out or asleep, and that there are plenty of men who seem to think that this counts as a sort of “no harm, no foul, no rape” situation.

Take a look at the discussion whenever this topic comes up on Reddit, for example. Or consider all those supporters of Julian Assange who pretend that the issue is women changing their mind after sex when in fact one of the things he’s been accused of is penetrating a woman sans condom while she was sleeping.

And as for “taking advantage” of seriously drunk women, well, there are plenty of men who think this is perfectly fine — and some who make this the centerpiece of their “seduction” technique. Indeed, one prominent PUA — Roosh V — has confessed to doing just that with one woman who was clearly too drunk to consent:

While walking to my place, I realized how drunk she was. In America, having sex with her would have been rape, since she legally couldn’t give her consent. It didn’t help matters that I was relatively sober, but I can’t say I cared or even hesitated. I won’t rationalize my actions, but having sex is what I do.

Somehow this confession — boast? —  hasn’t, to my knowledge, earned him any condemnations from manosphere or MRA bloggers, or even, it seems, cost him any fans.

Meanwhile, on the very site Bloomfield is publishing her post, Paul Elam blames drunk women for being sexually assaulted, writing (as I pointed out yesterday) that women who drink with men are, “freaking begging” to be raped,

Damn near demanding it. … walk[ing] though life with the equivalent of a I’M A STUPID, CONNIVING BITCH – PLEASE RAPE ME neon sign glowing above their empty little narcissistic heads.

After dismissing the Don’t Be That Guy campaign as so much silliness,  Bloomfield makes a sudden 180 degree turn and declares it the virtual equivalent of Nazi propaganda against Jews.

Which would be offensive if it weren’t so manifestly absurd. The Don’t Be That Guy campaign isn’t directed at men, per se. It’s directed at men WHO THINK IT’S OK TO RAPE WOMEN and/or MEN WHO MAKE EXCUSES FOR RAPISTS.

A good number of these men — and some women with similar beliefs — seem to spend much of their time reading and/or writing for manosphere sites like Roosh V’s blog and A Voice for Men.

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Posted on July 13, 2013, in a voice for men, actual activism, antifeminism, domestic violence, excusing abuse, FemRAs, judgybitch, ladies against women, life before feminism, men who should not ever be with women ever, misogyny, MRA, paul elam, PUA, rape, rape culture, reactionary bullshit, rhymes with roosh and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 766 Comments.

  1. Argenti Aertheri

    Damn, test 2 & 3 —

    I would go so far as to suggest that Shaenon isA W E S O M E.

    I would go so far as to suggest that Shaenon is
    A W E S O M E.

  2. Argenti Aertheri

    Lol, so apparently HTML hates this (there are ways, but not ones allowed in WP comments it seems) but just hitting enter works.

    pecunium — now that’s a use of gin I’ll buy! Any idea when it’ll be fixed? Cuz fun times!

    No, really, I went home for lunch, as I worked 8~ min from my apt, go to leave and THAT happened. Had to call in that I’d be back as soon as I found a path that wasn’t a river…lucky they were amused by this. We weren’t without water for terribly long though, but this shit is altogether too common in Pittsburgh.

  3. From now on, this is the sentence everyone should use for their blockquotes test.

  4. pecunium, You’ve been there, but did you take pictures? If so, please share, pretty please. Don’t make me cry in the street!

  5. No idea. Seems the water providor doesn’t have good maps of the pipes, and a contractor hit one. Until that gets fixed, the pressure is inadequate to be sure the bacterial count is below minimums. At a guess, it’s probably potable, but…

    I sure as fuck don’t dare ignore it.

  6. That happens to be one of the rare cases of losing data. I don’t have many and they are not anyplace handy. I am still (7 years later) grumped about it.

  7. CassandraSays

    But does it reflect badly on me or does it reflect badly on you?

    You, dude. Definitely you.

    Oh I am very much wanted here. After all, otherwise all you guys would be doing is sitting around licking each other’s asses and sucking each other’s dicks…

    You realize that saying this after you’ve been clearly told to get lost by multiple people doesn’t exactly make you look less rapey, right? Apparently interpreting “no” or “go away” as “keep bothering me, please!” is an ongoing problem for you.

  8. Speaking of losing things, new plec didn’t survive the first week. Assuming my water tests come out normal, I’m probably trying again tommorow (for the non-aquarists among us, when they die in the first week it’s generally the fish, not your tank)

    Nonetheless, I am none too pleased about this.

    Pecunium — but you are getting enough to boil it?

  9. neuroticbeagle

    aww. sorry about the plec. :( beagle kisses if you want them.

  10. CassandraSays

    We have a vested interest in not believing it. Think of how it absolutely shatters one’s worldview… How it destroy confidence not only governments, but in people in general. It is not a pleasant thing to believe at all.

    But Petey, we’ve already seen your fiction page. We know that you wank to the idea of oppressive overlords and societal destruction, so apparently believing in those things is all kinds of fun for you.

    You mock me because you’re all bitter bitches who finally realize that all the men of quality, all the men of talent and intelligence will no longer have anything to do with your slutty asses, and instead rather find foreign women or go MGTOW. All you have left are the rapists, which is why you’re so into BDSM.

    Says the sad, lonely man who’s confessed that he has very little experience with women to the room full of women who are mostly either married or in a LTR.

    PS: I’ve lived on 4 different continents. Trust me when I say that the “foreign” women don’t want you either unless they’re in such dire circumstances that you’re their only way out. Even in those cases they still don’t want you, they just want citizenship in a country with more opportunity.

  11. Argenti: We have all the flow we want, just none of the clean water.

  12. Pecunium — well that’s something at least. Got the bottles to boil it and save it for later?

    Oh gods. I just had to extricate my hair from the cat while she was trying to eat my head. Clearly it’s too fucking hot.

  13. Oh and thanks guys. I got distracted by the cat in my hair!

  14. I’ve just got to think about the logistics of a prison planet (or continent). I wonder if robot prison guards are part of the plan, or if he’s actually thought about how many guards you’d need to maintain the prison continent, and how many other people to support the infrastructure for both the guards and the inmates.

    Unless prison-planet-North America is just regular North America, but you can’t enter or leave. Which…would not be that bad.

  15. If it were an island, then you just blockade. Have to be sure though that they don’t have enough resources to build infrastructure. So the blockade has to have an offensive aspect, to destroy the possibility of industry developing.

    Which is expensive.

    If it’s an alternate earth, well then all you need is a one way portal, and who cares?

  16. neuroticbeagle

    @ Argenti

    Like this?

  17. Anyone fucked with by that hole in the space time continuum?

    Seriously, how is it easier to believe that hundreds of people conspired to bring down the towers, presumably for the death toll, failed to get anything like maximum causalities, and no one has ever said a word about it; than to believe that 20~ people and another, what, dozen?, planners hijacked planes to make a show of power, which they quite effectively did.

    And someone please give me a solid, non-physics based, answer to why the pentagon hole wasn’t plane shaped. I mentioned this over lunch and my mother went that route with “I’m just saying” *psyduck*

  18. Lol, I wish! No, she was in claws first, got tangled, and then tried to eat my head. With my brother standing there laughing.

  19. CassandraSays

    I’m also finding it interesting that Petey’s meltdown has mostly taken the form of attempting to insult people by suggesting that they have too much sex, or not enough sex, or that they’re female and possessed of the ability to have sex. I mean, for someone trying to sell himself as neither a misogynist or someone with a rapey mindset it’s all rather odd.

    (Where’s my sarcasm font?)

  20. neuroticbeagle

    @Argenti
    Like this then.

    Did your brother take a picture or was he laughing too hard?

  21. Because of the relative differences in mass between the wings, and the cabin (part of which is the penetrating power of the shape. An arrow has a lot more penetrating power than a pistol round (as in it, like a rifle round, can punch through basic body armor).

  22. And someone please give me a solid, non-physics based, answer to why the pentagon hole wasn’t plane shaped. I mentioned this over lunch and my mother went that route with “I’m just saying” *psyduck*

    The same reason that if you actually broke through a wall, it wouldn’t leave a person-shaped outline like you were the walrus from Alice in Wonderland.

  23. “All you have left are the rapists, which is why you’re so into BDSM.”

    That make absolutely no sense. Like… Waaaaat?

    First, most men aren’t rapist, and even less men are into the MRM. Majority of my friends are men, and none of them had heard of it until I mentioned it. Actually 2 did know, but that’s because they spend a lot of time on Reddit, and when I said “red pillers” and “a voice for men” and “men going their own way”, they remembered and their reactions were no less than “oh god no, those guys are nuts”.
    Why can’t a man be a feminist? There are lots of feminist dudes here. Even the owner of the site is a feminist dude. Are you implying he is a rapist or an undercover MRA trying to expose our super seekrit feministy feminist plans?
    Are you accusing all men who disagree with you to be rapists??? Weren’t you freaking about about those kinds of accusations before?

    Second, MRAs can’t be rapists? It seems like they condone it a lot though, like you do. If MRAs are the least rapey group in humanity, then god help us all.

    Third, this wouldn’t make rape OK. If this situation were true, then why would WE be wrong? Shouldn’t it be the rapists and the people who do not work against rape?

    Fourth, bdsm and rape are total opposites. Sure some might fake rape, but that’s consensual, so it’s not rape. Why do you associate rape and bdsm? Other then the role playing rape, there’s nothing actually rapey about it. What makes rape rapey? It’s lack of consent, something that bdsm actually focuses on a lot, hence all the safe words and concern for safety when doing the more extreme stuff.
    The fact that you’re associating these two things says more about you than you would like.

    Fifth, I didn’t know we were into bdsm. I might have missed it, but I didn’t see anyone talking about it.
    What makes you think we love bdsm? There’s nothing wrong with bdsm, btw, but not everyone is into it, so why are you assuming that we are?

  24. Argenti, oh poor fish!

  25. thebewilderness

    EWWWW! That was a creepy meltdown, and very “pollywog” too.

  26. neuroticbeagle — yes, more like that. And he was laughing to hard to think to use the cell phone camera that he was holding!

    ANd thanks guys, for both the fishy consolation and the physics.

  27. Missed the story about the plec, Argenti. Sorry you lost hir. :-(

  28. I REMEMBER NOW.

    Petey! His blog is “Strung out Cyclist!”! Which is the MRA referenced in this Manboobz comment from a bit ago!

    http://manboobz.com/2013/04/04/pompous-misogyny-on-parade-part-eleventy-million-billion/comment-page-3/#comment-281638

    And that links to this:

    http://science-professor.blogspot.dk/2013/04/life-is-just-unfair-to-men.html

    which is where I got this:

    2. Losing one’s job for what is, in the end, an entirely subjective evaluation (“it offends me”) is entirely comparable with sexual assault. Moreover, I’m not convinced the level of sexual violence committed by men is any higher than that committed by women. Certainly the rates of child abuse are similar and probably higher in the case of women. Just that the latter are under-reported.

    I knew this was all so familiar.

    Gods, that’s been nagging at me all evening in verse form. That’s why this entire thing felt like such a damn deja vu.

  29. Holy damn, that thread. Petey probably doesn’t realize just how much he’s revealing about himself, and it ain’t pretty. What a nest of snakes in that head.

  30. About the 9/11 thing, I used to think it weird that the buildings collapsed simply because a plane hit them (I’ve since seen enough evidence to change my mind). This led me to believe that the reason they fell was because they had been poorly built and/or maintained. Big company cutting corners to save a few bucks is far more plausible than Massive Conspiracy OMG, everyone’s in on it, it was an inside job, and I’m the only one smart enough to know it!!!!

  31. 2 non-sarcastic points to Myoo for having an actually reasonable theory

    My other, biggest, issue with truthers? Gov’n incompetence played a role, got one hand knowing about flight class students not caring about landing, got the other knowing there’s some plan afoot. Maybe if the two could interact?

    Was it intentional? No. Does it need to be fixed? Yes.

    And yeah, even very well built buildings will collapse/fail under stresses they weren’t designed for. Those towers probably wouldn’t’ve stood a chance against the earthquakes that Cali skyscrapers are built to withstand, for example.

  32. “Losing one’s job for what is, in the end, an entirely subjective evaluation (“it offends me”) is entirely comparable with sexual assault.”

    My assholery meter is off the charts. Holy shit.

  33. Thank you, Pete, for showing your ass with this:

    “You mock me because you’re all bitter bitches who finally realize that all the men of quality, all the men of talent and intelligence will no longer have anything to do with your slutty asses, and instead rather find foreign women or go MGTOW. All you have left are the rapists, which is why you’re so into BDSM.”

    What? We want you, but we just won’t admit it? **giggle-snort** Your beliefs about half of the human population are quite ugly. Why would I, a self-respecting woman, have anything to do with someone who admits that he hates and think so badly of me and my kind? It’s you, sparky. You’re the reason women won’t have anything to do with you.
    Rapists are the only men left? What the fucking hell? You think most men are rapists? They’re not. I guess you don’t like men very much either. Which makes me wonder how much you hate yourself. Also, stop talking about BDSM, it’s out of your depth. No one cares if you go your own way…women, like most human beings, don’t like the idea of having to worship and ego stroke an asshole who hates everyone including himself.

  34. I almost hope that Petey comes back so we can rub his nose in how sad his loveless life is compared to all the happily partnered people here.

  35. Hi Cassandra! **fistbump**
    Yeah, there’s lots of happily partnered people here, Cassandra. And the single people are probably feeling greatful for having standards that prevent them from coupling with just anyone….like Pete, who actually hates everyone.

    I’m listening to “Timebomb” by Beck, by the way. Damn, it’s catchy. I keep replaying it.

  36. I’m listening to the new Ministry album (will be out officially in September). Not bad, which is a relief since it will be the last one (for real this time).

    The idea that anyone who is single might feel sad to have missed out on having someone like Petey in their life is so ridiculous that phrases like “pee yourself laughing” come to mind. And I think he knows that, which is why he’s so aggressively unpleasant.

  37. Ah, Ministry…love. Last time I saw them live was at the Hard Rock Cafe in Las Vegas, Mandalay Bay. Their opening act was My Life With The Thrill Kill Cult. Good times.

  38. Now that’s a great combination. It’s been the season for great old bands releasing new material actually – Ministry, Skinny Puppy, Killing Joke, Suicidal Tendencies, KMFDM.

  39. Yes! Now, if only The Pixies would decide to tour…(yeah I know, Kim left the band, but what if she didn’t?)….or maybe Bauhaus.

  40. Bauhaus tour isn’t going to happen because the rest of the guys can’t stand Murphy. Sad, I know! Pixies might well happen, though I’d be sad if Kim wasn’t there.

  41. Yeah, it’s too bad about Murphy. Man, remember that song, “Cuts You Up”? Shit, that was good. And what would “Dead Souls” be without him?

  42. Suicidal Tendencies has new material out? I used to see them play in LA — they kind of got me into punk rock. Any good?

  43. It’s pretty good. Songs are a bit longer than they used to be, and they’ve added some new elements, but they still sound basically like themselves.

    http://www.metalsucks.net/2013/04/05/suicidal-tendencies-deliver-the-13th-13-of-13/

  44. You mock me because you’re all bitter bitches who finally realize that all the men of quality, all the men of talent and intelligence will no longer have anything to do with your slutty asses, and instead rather find foreign women or go MGTOW. All you have left are the rapists, which is why you’re so into BDSM.

    Oh my paws and whiskers. What will happen to our little love nest ?

    I’ll have to take my slutty ass off somewhere when my man of quality, talent and intelligence decides to have nothing more to do with me. Or maybe, we’ll wait until our 35th wedding anniversary next month, or until our daughter’s wedding in December, then it’ll be Xmas. Oh, OK. New Year – we’ll both make resolutions. He’ll abandon all claims to quality, talent or intelligence and I’ll ….

    Nuh. Can’t do it. This kind of silly doesn’t get funny even when you try to make it sillier.

  45. Hi Cassandra! **fistbump**
    Yeah, there’s lots of happily partnered people here, Cassandra. And the single people are probably feeling greatful for having standards that prevent them from coupling with just anyone….like Pete, who actually hates everyone.

    Ayup. That describes me whether one takes the “Mr K is real” or “Mr K is not real” view.

    @Argenti, so sorry to hear new plec did not survive! :(

    News from Queensland: went to the Eumundi Markets near Noosa today. I bought a ring – dunno what the stone is; it’s opaque pink, fairly dark, just what I was looking for. Also bought a tee shirt with a fleur-de-lys on it (like on every holiday I go on) and a bracelet I’ll post a pic of when I get home. It’s made of ovals with paintings of women and cats on them – like this one by Renoir – and I had to have it even though I never wear bracelets.

    We also had the best carrot cake ever – it had raisins and walnuts and passionfruit icing. YUM.

  46. If it’s an alternate earth, well then all you need is a one way portal, and who cares?

    Of course, if return portals are a Thing, then you need to leave self-replicating killing machines behind to keep the banished from ever reaching a level of technology sufficient to return. They don’t need to kill everybody–just any sign of technological advance.

    Besides, if there’s one thing I know about futuristic dystopias, it’s that SOMEBODY thinks the self-replicating killing machines are a fun option and just plain want to turn them loose on a population somewhere, anywhere.

  47. Besides, if there’s one thing I know about futuristic dystopias, it’s that SOMEBODY thinks the self-replicating killing machines are a fun option and just plain want to turn them loose on a population somewhere, anywhere.

    Oh-ho-ho, Howard, you are a cad. That is entirely facetious and also funny.

    Excuse me while I go scrub my garage. Of… non replicating matter.

  48. CassandraSays

    Petey totally seems like the type who’d let loose the killing machines, wank as they killed the “undesirables”, and then pretend that he was totes sad about the whole thing.

  49. Sounds like Janet Bloomfield is selling out women by whoring herself to AVFM, saying everything idiotic boys want to hear for ratings. She truly is a bitch.

  50. Shut it, SandinaFem.

    Whore and bitch, what’s next, crazy?

  51. Sandinafem, could you lay off the sexist language? “Bitch” is sexist.
    Also I don’t know what you mean by selling out women. Can you please explain?

  52. Did someone say crazy? *pulls five bottles of crazy pills off shelf to restock weekly vials*

    Yep, crazy.

    (Why yes, I am being sarcastic, thanks for asking)

  53. Is there a name for this phenomenon? Is it just an intellectual disability that JudgyBitch suffers from? She is one of those painfully unenlightened, ignorant people who managed to obtain several advanced college degrees. That’s great, but a piece of paper doesn’t make anyone smart and there’s a huge difference between education and enlightenment. Another one that I despise is Alveda King, the niece of Martin Luther King. She’s a Ph.D. grad, but she said contraception kills people. lol wut? Oh, and GeorgeWB went to Yale, like that really helped.

  54. the type who’d let loose the killing machines, wank as they killed the “undesirables”, and then pretend that he was totes sad about the whole thing.

    aka fascists, or the impetus behind the MRM in a nutshell.

    Also, I like how the BDSM thing comes up constantly with these guys, and it’s always like “women are responsible for this new atrocity against propriety”, when even a lot of “vanilla” internet porn that’s made for straight men now is so gonzo it’s unbelievable.

  55. @SarahRose:

    Is it just an intellectual disability that JudgyBitch suffers from?

    No, it isn’t. There’s no connection between intellectual disability and being a hateful, willfully ignorant person, any more than being neurotypical means someone’s going to be a good person.

    One of the norms on this site (and it’s just been mentioned in this very thread) is not smearing people with mental illness by lumping them in with hateful racists, misogynists etc by calling the latter crazy, intellectually disabled, insane, mentally ill, etc, etc. It’s not insulting the MRAs, it’s insulting good people, and there are plenty of regulars here who are hit by those slurs.

  56. What kitteh said, but with the suggestion that “intellectual problem/failure” probably works.

  57. CassandraSays

    I would say that “willful refusal to use their brains” is a good way to say what you’re trying to say without the collateral damage.

  58. Pretty much anything willful works, because it has nothing to do with an innate trait, and everything to do with them being willfully obtuse and assholeish.

  59. Reblogged this on THE VENUS ENVY and commented:
    MANBOOBZ I LOVE YOU. FOR REALZIES BABY

  60. Aw, man, I missed a trolling!

    Well, no, he sounds rapey, and Pell gave me enough rageahol for a week. At least I got some good writing out of it?

  61. Was it Jason, or Petey who said that rapists don’t get cheers for committing rape?

  62. Both, and Pollock. *is guessing*

    Why did I finish that thread?!

  63. Sorry to comment on an old post, but here goes:

    I believe you’ve entirely missed the point.
    If you removed the phrase “Don’t be that guy”, then there would be no issue. It’s the implication that all men would rape if given the opportunity, and that only men rape.
    Would it be okay to have a poster saying “Don’t steal” – “Don’t be that black guy”? Given that a lot of black guys do steal, apparently a lot of them need to be taught that lesson.

    You’ve committed the same sin here when you wrote:
    “guess what, men do attempt to “have sex” with women who are passed out or asleep”
    Do you not see what an incredibly sexist generalization you’ve made there? You’re not the only person who doesn’t see sexism when it’s against men.
    I think what you meant to write was “SOME men attempt to “have sex” with women who are passed out or asleep”
    What you wrote reads like it is an inherent property of men, like it’s something you expect men to do, rather than an unusual behaviour. Consider if I changed the last sentence of the previous paragraph to the following (omitting the “a lot of”):
    “Given that black guys do steal, apparently they need to be taught that lesson.”

    It’s a small and subtle thing, but what annoys the MRA types is that if there was some sort of “Don’t be that girl” campaign, lots of people would probably lose their shit. Like this for example:

    ‘Till death do you part doesn’t mean ’till you get bored
    You took a vow, so do the honourable thing and keep it.
    Don’t be that girl

    I think that’s pretty harmless until the last line, at which point it becomes horribly offensive.

    Also, why exclude girls from the message? It may well be that it’s rarer for a women to coerce someone into sex, but some women do (see what I did there?). I know I’ve had a drunk woman attempt to physically coerce me into sex, despite my protestations – fortunately I was much stronger than her, so her attempts were short lived. And I walked away to the sound of her shouting curses at me (apparently, only a gay man would turn down sex from a woman….. who knew?)
    I for one would love more girls to realize that no means no, and not give me the awkward choice of either leave whatever party/gathering I’m at, or get molested.

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