Matt Forney, still trying hard to offend, publishes post suggesting that whenever women drink they cheat on their boyfriends [CORRECTED]
Women preparing to cheat.
Matt Forrney, the asshole behind the now-defunct In Mala Fide blog, is apparently as desperate for attention as ever. So today I’m going to indulge him by posting this deliberately obnoxious comment of his about women and drinking. [CORRECTION: The post was actually written by someone calling himself "The Captain Power," who is evidently a whole other different person than Matt Forney, who merely published this post on his blog called Matt Forney.]
If your girlfriend goes out and drinks alcohol, you are most likely getting cheated on.
Women by nature are predetermined in their D.N.A to get pregnant and reproduce, and until they reach menopause they need a constant supply of penis to provide fertility. Your girlfriend might prefer your penis, but once the alcohol kicks in and she is inebriated, your penis is useless. Out of site, out of mind (but full of semen).
In my entire life I have never met a women who was out drinking and didn’t cheat on her boyfriend. …
The few drinking exceptions for women include weddings, work parties, birthday parties with male friends, and suicide attempts.
The reference to suicide attempts at the end is a nice touch.
Posted on July 9, 2013, in citation needed, evil sexy ladies, evo psych fairy tales, men who should not ever be with women ever, misogyny, PUA and tagged evolutionary psychology, misogyny, pick-up artists, pickup artists, PUA. Bookmark the permalink. 625 Comments.
Cassandra: stressed the fuck out. The provera did a number on me, effed my cycle all to hell and turned me into a PMS monster. Father’s day and the anniversary of dad’s death did NOT HELP. But things seem to be evening out. Now we just have to survive until the school year starts…
You’d think that her head would be split,
But good luck was with her that morning,
She fell in a barrel of shaving cream!
Also: yay immoral socializing!
@ Kathleen
I don’t remember the reason they put you on the provera? You mean depo-provera? In which case you have my deepest sympathies, never knew anyone who didn’t find that stuff upset their emotional balance quite a bit.
Matt Forney really does not know how fertility works. I am not surprised.
Maybe he thinks we’re like cats!
“plebians”? it is spelled “plebeians”
Hi, Kathleen! Glad the Provera is settling down.
I’m glad I made it for the latest Peltdown.
Huh, I met Mr. HK at a work party.
Cassandra: I had what looked like a thickened endometrium. The gyno said it looked okay, but put me on straight provera to ‘reboot’ my cycle and get my uterus… cleaned out, for lack of a better term. Then another damn ultrasound to check the endometrium, and hopefully if everything is normal, an IUD.
How sad is Dr. Pell to be all, “I know, I’ve got some free time, I’ll go troll Manboobz.” It’s not like we can’t tell it’s him from about his 2nd post in.
Kathleen: I had the ablation, and now my period is so light, I can’t believe it.
Kathleen – so the plan is to only use it for a while? If so I guess that’s something.
hellkell: Shutt teh fuck up you old crone
I, for one, am wowed by the immensely intellectual argument of Ibara.
Cassandra: Thank god, it’s short term. But I really should have asked to delay until after July, because there is nothing quite like the feeling of seeing father’s day cards and feeling like the universe is shouting ‘Hey, guess what you don’t have!’ It’s always stressful, but the hormones running amok made it a zillion times worse.
XTREME female behavior makes me think of women going rock climbing or snowboarding, possibly while being sponsored by Mountain Dew.
Ibara: old crone? That the best you got, Pell? How’s Uncle Monty?
He’s sort of a wise and trenchant Dennis the Menace
I object! If we’re going to be a coven I already called dibs on Granny Weatherwax.
(Sorry, definitely can’t be Agnes since I can’t sing for shit.)
Jayem, hugs from me, too.
Falconer, now I’m going to picture you as Cary Grant instead of The Cat. Which is prolly a good thing. :)
Hmm, so drinking = cheating, eh? Is that the real reason I don’t like alcohol – I know I’d be irresistably drawn to have forgettable or outright unpleasant sex with whatever penis-haver was in the vicinity, rather than going home to [censored] and [censored] happy sexytimes with Mr K?
Makes perfect sense.
Oh, on my previous comment can I specify cis women.
Sorry
I do get very cuddly when I’ve been drinking, but after that comes sleepy, and if a guy interprets a woman falling asleep on his shoulder as a sign that sexytimes should commence, well, the problem there isn’t the fact that the woman was drinking.
@katz lucky baby.
And is there sound on the video or am I deaf….
“In my entire life I have never met a
women who was out drinking and didn’t cheat on her boyfriend. …woman.”FTFY
@cassandrasays
And men interpreting sleeping as consent is the reason I only drink when I’m sure I’m in good company.
@ melody
And the reason I limit myself to no more than 3 drinks when drinking in public. Sad truth is sad.
franticcaps, welcome! Have you had your Welcome Package yet?
QFT, but I don’t think they’re acting …
Melody, there is music. It is this song.
I go drinking and dancing. I drink so I can dance. I dance because I enjoy it and I’m actually pretty good at it, but I’m much more comfortable after a drink or two. I went out drinking and dancing when I was in a longterm relationship, and never once did I cheat on that boy. I rebuffed the advances of others and if anyone persisted I’d call security over. The assumption that the ONLY reason girls my age would go out without a man is to hook up really, really got on my nerves.
Unfortunately, he wasn’t so faithful in the same scenario. Looking back, I’m sure he must have been put off by my loose and wild behaviour, and of course female hypergamy. It was inevitable that I would cheat, as I’m biologically programmed to, so he was just making sure he could shoot me down before I could do the same to him and I deserved it. MISANDRY!
franticcaps — you new around these parts? Get a Welcome Package yet?
And I stand corrected, lack of quotes is a PellTell.
Ninja’ed!
“I object! If we’re going to be a coven I already called dibs on Granny Weatherwax.”
*tips coffee* We all know who I am!
And if y’all want the dark lord emailed, I’ll do it since I’m curious if the survey results are going up today or tomorrow if I broke something or what.
We have enough younger commenters to find a Tiffany too. Who wants to be Nanny?
Lol, “shutt teh fuck up”. Is he trying to parody the “what about teh menz” thing?
Argenti, I just finished re-reading Monstrous Regiment and thought of you with all Maladict’s scenes – have you read it yet?
Pell’s having Keyboard Stutters, he keeps typing letters twice all over the place. Not quite up to Mr Al’s Keyboard Smash, though more amusing long-term.
Also, 90% off topic, whenever I drink I get really mopey and sad, it feels like my body is lead so it feels like my mind and body are separate(it feels shitty, not trippy like it sounds).
Why does this happen???? Gah it’s so depressing.
Did someone miss nap time and the alphabet chart is getting all blurry? Try sticking to identifying colors, it’s easier. Let me get you started:
Bananas are yellow.
Kitteh — I have not (I know, I know!)
I tend to prefer bananas that are still slightly green. Which is misandry because I’m being picky about which vaguely phallic objects I will agree to insert into one of my orifices.
I emailed David’s big red head. I’m sure he will be along shortly, and I feel confident in saying that because I am David.
::thinks about being Nanny::
Hmm, pros: Totaly uninhibited. Canny. Casanunda. Greebo.
Cons: Pusey and assorted grandchildren, more or less sticky.
Nope, I’ll pass.
*Pewsey.
Discworld is stupid crap for female lossers like the minions of Fruitloops Futrelle. i’ve never met a Discworld fan who wasn’t a closet fag
Who doesn’t want to be Nanny?
Death is probably my favorite character, but Nanny is a close second.
Heh, Mum likes bananas that are greenish, too. I don’t, they make my teeth want to curl up and hide. I like my bananas ripe and just starting to get soft.
MISANDRY!
Is a losser a type of large dog? Like a molosser for someone whose “M” key is stuck?
I also love plantain, which tend to be brown, and, well…
You lower-class idiots wouldnt know success if it bit your behinds.
I guess that explains why, as previously established, I must turn into an unfaithful lesbian-orgy-haver in the presence of booze. It’s all the award-winning satirical novels. Makes perfect sense!
“i’ve never met a Discworld fan who wasn’t a closet fag”
Note to self: cannot read Discworld without somehow going back in the closet…seeing how that’d be rather difficult, and no way in hell am I doing it, sorry guys, guess I can’t read it without breaking troll boy’s paradigm.
Well, the ex-boyfriend who introduced me to Discworld did once make out with a (male) friend of his when he was drunk, but I talked him into it. Does that count?
Pell — tell that to the folks here with PhD’s and the members of the upper class.
(Did I mention that the correlation between those was surprisingly low?)
I’m craving Fruitloops now. Who’s with me?
LOL now he’s pretending he knows anything about Discworld. Precious, isn’t it? Poor little Pell, doomed to be laughed at all his life.
Polliwog – Death or Vimes would be my favourite characters, they’re about even.
Idk, did he lie about it to maintain his appearance of being straight?
See, a Brit would expect the correlation there to be approaching zero, because our upper classes often aren’t the most academically diligent people.
Aw man I was totally going to play with the new troll until they admitted that they don’t actually agree with Matt Forney but it’s just boring old Pell. Heard it all already, kid.
Nope, he just apologized to the friend for not taking him home with us, since he was mostly straight.
Fried plantains are one of the best things ever. My partner (who grew up in the Caribbean) introduced me to Jamaican-style fried plantains a while back, and I pretty much had a foodgasm. They taste so unhealthily full of grease and sugar that I feel like I might have a heart attack with every bite, and it’s wonderful.
Pellyboy has a bit of an obsession with class, doesn’t he, for a good Amurrrican boy? Too funny.
I guess he’s having to hurry the meltdown along, it can’t be too long before Mommy comes up and tells him it’s time for lights out.
Ibara you are starting to hurt my feelings.
So… Did you guys realize that the female flight attendants on that Asiana flight that crash landed at SFO were totally badass?
Also
Vimes is also great. I’m not sure there’s a Discworld character I don’t enjoy.
LOL now he’s pretending he knows anything about Discworld. Precious, isn’t it? Poor little Pell, doomed to be laughed at all his life.
You already beat me there you stupid idiot no-nothing loser. Go right the fat oldmobile you omega dummy
“Nope, he just apologized to the friend for not taking him home with us, since he was mostly straight.”
As sweet as that is, I think that means he doesn’t count. Sorry.
Can we keep this troll? He’s awesomely pathetic.
” it can’t be too long before Mommy comes up and tells him it’s time for lights out.”
Pell’s mom: Ok sweetie, you can continue your war against misandry on the internet tomorrow.
Pell: BUT MOOOOOM I’M TRYING TO FIGHT FRUITLOOPS FUTRELLE AND HIS MANGINA ARMY! NO FAIR!
(I hope no kid ever talks like that.)
Weirdest GPS directions ever.
“Bit your behinds” is a nice touch. Can’t have swearing in our classism!
Cloudiah, that’s awesome!