Long Weekend Open Thread
Like a lot of people in the US of A, I am taking a long weekend. Posting may be a little light for a bit. So here’s an open thread for everyone else taking a long weekend. Or not. Use this thread for anything that’s not personal. Like misogyny, politics, kitties, you know the drill. (Though kitties are welcome in all threads, of course.)
I am hoping my long weekend turns out a bit better than that of the people in the Australian movie of that name from 1978, which I keep meaning to see. Apparently their little beach vacation doesn’t go so well, and they are attacked by … nature? At one point, I believe, they face off against an enraged dugong. (No, really.) The movie was recently remade, but apparently the remake wasn’t as good.
Stay tuned for more reviews of movies I haven’t seen and that I’m just giving vague impressions of based on things I’ve heard somewhere.
Posted on July 5, 2013, in off topic, open thread. Bookmark the permalink. 1,365 Comments.
@ pecunium
Is this guy focusing on SF/fantasy fandom? If so, oy, and he’s demonstrating why I spend very little time in that fandom and won’t go to cons despite having read the stuff since I was a kid.
Argenti: I have been. And some here.
Slow Lorises are always a help.
I was just reading Ursula Vernon on Being an ally is freaky as hell and was struck (in part because of the convo at Popehat: I’m gonna be awhile digesting that), by a comment in it:
Cassandra – that’s one of the things I like about this space: it is inclusive and people are much more accepting, overall, as far as I can see (granted I’m speaking from white-cis-more-or-less-het privilege). I was worried about telling what my marital situation is for a good while, but when LBT talked about zir life – or lives, you lot! :) – it was a great relief, ‘cos LBT was already well established and liked here, and it was obvious people knew zir situation.
So cheers for Manboobz, I say. I know it’s had plenty of grief, like the exodus a while back, so it obviously hasn’t worked for some people, which sucks. But here and now it’s a place I really like being.
You’re all expected to be in Chicago next year, dammit! Manboobz meetup for the win!
That’s a good comment, Pecunium. It pretty much describes how Manboobz seems to me.
Kitteh, Yeah. I know it. I wish I didn’t. I ..prefer to ignore it because it makes me feel much better to believe people don’t understand the indirect no is a no… That helps, a little. Sometimes.
And I think manboobz is a great place to be. For my time lurking and reading and commenting I think it’s a pretty great internet community.
Seconding SittieKitty. ManBoobz and Feministe are my favorite social justice spaces on the internet. You folks are awesome. ^_^
Pecunium, you know this already, but that’s why this was the first place I was really “out” with people who I wasn’t 1) already friendly with and 2) already sure had trans* 101 under there belt.
Cuz y’all have #2 covered, or, at least, are willing to learn stuff, and are clearly Not Okay with people bashing other people, so I was willing to risk #1.
We need that “not a safe space” note to have a footnote that “the folks here will not tolerate your shit, please check your bigotry at the door”
@LBT I know it’s where you’re leaving from, but if you need a place to stay in Boston, I could likely house you for a bit (I’d have to run it by my partner, of course). Also, I know someone who could probably hook you up with the freegan scene around here. At the very least, they could tell you where to go dumpster diving or get a meal, and they know some radical co-ops that would be happy to house you in exchange for labor (or did know, before they left for Portland).
You might also benefit from Steal This Wiki, particularly the survival section – but not having put it to the test, I can’t vouch for its usefulness.
It’s weird and interesting how internet communities form. For example, Jezebel and XOJane have basically the same theme, right? And yet while Jezebel isn’t a feminist site it’s feminist-friendly enough in the comments that I don’t spend all day banging my head against the wall, whereas the comments on XOJane make me despair for the future of humanity.
I just hope that people who’ve had to put up with this pretence from predatory/creepy/stupid men read this stuff, here or on Yes Means Yes or Captain Awkward or wherever, and are strengthened by it. I hope it means someone, somewhere doesn’t fall for that shit any more, and have the confidence to see it for what it is and to call these dudes on it. Wishful thinking if person doesn’t have backup from their peers, I know, but I’d really like to think someone can say “Don’t pull that bullshit on me, you know I’m not interested, fuck off,” where they couldn’t/didn’t before. One can dream.
It just struck me how funny it’d be if Obtruding Fistula tried swanning around at Captain Awkward. He’d get his sorry rape-apologist arse kicked out soooo fast …
Obsidian was actually a good object lesson in how relentless guys with that attitude are, and how completely unwilling to take women’s perspectives into account. I feel like reading him going on about how his need to get his dick wet is more important than anything else over and over again might help people understand that there’s no point trying to reason or compromise with people like that, you just have to tell them to get lost.
Yeah, he was a good example of a totally self-centred shithead. I didn’t even read his walls o’ text, they were disgusting and boring, a bad combination. Probably just like their writer. Can you imagine how unbearably DULL and tedious and DULL this guy would be to talk to? Or rather, be talked at, since he’d never stfu.
In a way I want to laugh at all the “must get my dick wet!” idiots. It’s far enough from my world that *when it’s combined with douchebaggery*, I go into supercilious “Oh, you sad pathetic little man, is your life so very empty and dreary that the sensation of ejaculating in someone else’s body is all there is?” NB I don’t for a minute believe the “I’m so lonely” cries from some of these clowns: it’s not about wanting to spend time with a partner, to do things together, to share interests, affection, and so on. It’s all about shove it in her and come.
So, I took that comment I made here,and expanded it a bit; On “fighting the good fight”
It’s the “surely everyone must see that this is the greatest social issue of our age” bit that amuses me. No, dude, that’s just you.
Yup, privilege on legs. Or, alas, on keyboardzzzzzzzzz.
It’s such entitlement bullshit. People like that actually think that it’s a hardship if someone can’t have sex. I don’t get it. If someone can’t have sex with the people they want to… I guess I’m empathetic enough that I could feel bad for the emotional hurt that can present, but I still think it’s too bad for them. They aren’t entitled to anyone else’s time, body, or emotional commitment.
“People like that actually think that it’s a hardship if
someonecis heterosexual men can’t have sex.”In earthly terms I’ve never had sex, but I don’t see bonerdroners© talking about how terrible it is for teh wimminz to go without. But oh, of course, we’re all magically having sex with the same half-dozen alphas all the time, or those other men who front up for the women who can “get laid whenever they want” but who somehow manage not to be the poor bonerdroners© even though bonerdroners© are, like, 99% of all men, amirite?
God, that hurt to write, even without all the copyright symbols.
I just plain don’t get it, like, I’ve had things resembling sexytimes, oh, twice in um, 6 years? (This is what happens when the only person you trust like that is 500 miles away, and oh we’ll, that’s what sexy emails are for!)
So yeah, how in the world is “must have sex with someone” more important than “must not make people uncomfortable cuz then they won’t be friendly with me (and hey, I can get my own rocks off later)”
Straight up does not compute (and go on, tell me I should join a monastery, I find it funny at this point!)
Seconded, Argenti, seconded!
Nah, you don’t want to join a monastery. You wouldn’t look good with a tonsure.
Drafty places, monasteries. I wouldn’t recommend it.
I feel so much better. The Fishhead is all upset that I’m calling him out. He’s this close to calling me a moral cretin. He’s said I don’t care about the innocent (men), and he never saw anyone excusing. “the socially inept”, and having harassment policies will make it terrible.
After all, there is inadequate sanction now, and lots of harassment goes unreported, but there are people who didn’t actually harass, so we can’t work on fixing the first two, it would be unfair.
To the menz. The innocent women being harassed… totes their own fault,they didn’t say no clearly enough.
And he thinks my disregard for him is careless.
My fish store guy in Pittsburgh bred piranhas if you need something to nibble on him. (They are ADORABLE when they’re small btw)
In LESS random things, I think I sorted my chart problem, sorta. (For the chi squares, which is the harder set as they don’t really have the graphability correlations do)
I don’t want someone to nibble him. I want him to have the brilliant flash of insight and revelatory understanding which comes of being hit upside the head with the Loving ClueXFour of Understanding.
But that would require him to be able to look at what he’s written, admit he wrote it, comprehend it’s content and feel shame.
In short, he’d have to turn into both an honest, and a decent, human being. It seems unlikely.
pecunium, I suspect your disregard for him is, in fact, quite careful!
And yeah, Kitteh, I was trying to be inclusive, but I agree, these people don’t give a shit about anyone but cis straight men.
Gah, Pecunium, I just took a glance at the latter parts of that thread. Willful cluelessness rampant, and that’s putting it kindly. Gobshites galore.
SittieKitty – inclusiveness is MISANDRY!
SittieKitty: got it in one.
He’s Steele’s level of obstuse, Brandon’s level of tedious (if Brandon were on the Steroids of Tedium: I mean it, he makes Brandon look downright interesting, and clever with words), Mellerish sorts of creepy disregard for women as agents, and a level of sly dishonesty I can’t attach to anyone.
All, of course, with a tone of Genteel Civility, which poorly masks a petulant dislike, and vague implications of insecurity in his own abilities. That last is the only inkling of self-awareness, he hides it with a pompous style; made the more irksome by the terrible habit of jambing his replies up against the quoted material, so they are jarring in the discontinuity of thought.
He then goes on to deny that these enjambed ideas are actually related. Seeing no irony is declaring this a failure of comprehension, and willful misinterpretation on the part of those who thought they did relate.
He sets a new bar.
Kittehs: The middle was the worst. Thats when the MRM talking points were being trotted out in force. I’m half of the opinion I ought to know who, “Jeremy” was.
“and a level of sly dishonesty I can’t attach to anyone.”
Owly? I mean, he was flat out LYING whenever he mentioned Title IX, statistics, or basically anything he ever said to me. But he wasn’t far enough from the possible that I could just dismiss him out of hand (also, mangling stats gets under my skin)
Was he 90% of the comments? :)
Which of the creepazoids on the popehat thread was that, Pecunium? The little I’ve seen of it there were a few who fit that description. D’you mean Obtuse Fistula, or someone else there?
Argenti – Noooooooo! :D
Kittehs: The one with the fishy name. Do a search for Fallujah.
Not owly. This is sly dishonesty. The sort that slips just a little past the edge of vision, so that the poisonous aspects are inside something else which is obvious, and the unwary end up accepting his frame.
I know I’ve pissed him off (and at least one other Grifter), and I think it’s that I’m doing a better job that most at calling out his tricks, and nailing him to his words. I don’t think he’s used to people quoting him, much less requoting himl when he tries to gaslight.
Manboobz has been really god for polishing the countermoves one needs on internet assholes.
Also, for honing one’s bullshit meter in general.
Guys, I borked the data on heterosexual folks feeling accepted and reran that set…gay/lesbian acceptance by peers is just barely not statistically different from heterosexual, and bi/pan/omnisexual just barely squeaks into statistically signifacant. That’s BY PEERS, not here, here gay/lesbian acceptance is no different than heterosexuals and bi/pan/omnisexual folks feel MORE accepted. (And speaking for myself here, small wonder considering shit like “bi women kiss girls for male amusement” gets six degree of shot down)
Pretty much no level of self-justifying misogyny surprises me from geek circles, unfortunately. I feel like I should step in and back you up but…eh. I’ve been hearing this stuff since I had my first conversation with other people who liked fantasy and sci-fi at age 9, and there’s nothing new there. I’ve given up on hoping they’ll change. If believing that feminists are evil bitches helps them sleep at night, well, just wait and see the level of icy hostility you get if you try to creep on me while I’m trying to shop for books, assholes.
It’s always tempting to hit them where you know it will hurt (their weak spot being not so much hidden as marked with a giant neon sign), but unfortunately there’s no way to say “you are a physically repulsive loser with a personality to match and the idea of any woman wanting to fuck you is laughable” without creating collateral damage among guys who’re geeky and insecure but not giant assholes.
Like, I found three variables that are not “no difference” for acceptance at manboobz, and in all three cases it’s the minority group feeling MORE accepted. I really want to give you all cookies.
Pecunium, NO SPOILERS, but do you think I should replace // add cookies to the end of the graphs? (Please don’t give away the last “thing”, I want that one as a surprise)
You make Ood look cute and have a worse personality? *makes tentacle face at the thread*
And I mean, uh, “altered”(?) Ood of course.
Gah, right, didn’t have to search. Another you’re-to-blame-for-his-later-rapes shitstain.
I wasn’t going to say this before, because it could be hella triggering.
(So, TW FOR RAPIST AND MURDERER DESCRIPTION)
Remember that filth Adrian Bayley? Dave posted about him a while back. He raped and murdered Jill Meagher in Melbourne last year. He’s now been sentenced to life with parole at 35 years (our “justice” system rarely gives actual life sentences, however richly deserved).
He put on a boo-hoo repentance act at his trial, despite having taken every precaution to hide his crime, and only confessing when cornered, and having to be persuaded by his counsel to plead guilty – the fake remorse got him his parole.
Now, the thing is this. He’s not a one-off. He’s a serial rapist. He’s been convicted several times. He’s broken parole with other violent crimes.
He’s been reported by nine women, that I know of. NINE. Nine rape victims who’ve spoken out. More than one conviction (I don’t recall how many).
None of it stopped him raping again and eventually murdering – something he’d been fantasising about in prison.
Our system totally failed to keep this filth where he couldn’t harm any more women. It’s failed again in not giving him a life-means-life sentence.
Yet fuckshites like Fishead and Fistula blame women, not just for their own rapes, but for all the rapes
If I believed in hell, I’d wish them to rot there. As it is, may they have the most devastating total self-awareness, whether in this world or the next.
Argenti, I thought the Ood were good guys?
Now if it was the Silence … and wtf is it with aliens in 20th-21st century Earth business suits? Imagination fail, attempt to say “o hai this is corporatism!” or the BBC being cheap again?
Actually the Silence might be the right comparison – face, personality and instantly forgettable.
May you realize what an asshole you are sounds like an excellent curse.
The Ood are…neither…in the form I mean. The ones with the communicator. The one’s that have been basically lobotomized. Natural Ood seem perfectly nice, definitely no enemy. Altered Ood have no personality (well, except Sigma, but he’s a weird one).
And I THINK the Silence may be a time // space // dimensional “men in black”. Because they aren’t up just here, probably. That ship upstairs from Craig is from River’s time (and that’s before/after Amy ends up in it and SO WHIMEY)
I think someone – was it Pecunium or maybe Falconer? – used “may you have total self-awareness” when we were doing strings of curses a while back.
Total self-awareness AND walking on all the legos would be good.
Aren’t up just here?
Aren’t just here.
No idea where that up came from!
Confession, I’m way behind with knowing about the Ood and the Silence. Didn’t watch much of 11, the only Silence one I remember is the alternative-history story, and I only remember snippets about the Ood from 10, with Donna. Dunno if I’ll look at the next Doctor – depends on who’s playing zir.
Please gods let it be someone older, whoever they are!
Say, speaking of that, has anyone watched the series Broadchurch, with David Tennant in the lead? It’s starting here on Friday.
I kind of hope for them to get what they say they want, ie for all the women to leave their treehouse, make our own, and never go near them again. Wiscon isn’t full of that crap, right? So why not duplicate that environment and create lots of spaces where women fans, men fans who aren’t sexist assholes, queer fans, and basically everyone except the “my penis is the sun around which the universe revolves!” guys can hang out together and never have to deal with the assholes again.
It’s like wishing people who are reckless drivers “May there be a policeman in your future”. I like it. Good karma. And yeah, fuck that shit, fuck the victim-blaming. It doesn’t stop that shit from happening. It’s society’s job to stop violent crimes from happening, not the victims’. Society fails constantly and consistently at addressing this problem, not just in part because they don’t persecute promptly, but society has shit like this victim-blaming bullshit to help allow the violence to go unreported.
However, on a more depressing note, this comment…
This is why I stopped hanging out in geek spaces. Even the guys who weren’t actively making my life miserable were making it clear that, if it ever came down to a conflict, they’d have the backs of the guys harassing me, and would be quite happy to stick a knife in mine. I don’t hang out with people who I can’t trust to be decent human beings.
it’s getting better. Scalzi’s policy is a step in the right direction. The spaces I’m in have some pretty vocal anti-harassment people. But it’s hard. I remember the vague sense of, “oh no, what if I date rape someone”. I never was afraid of a false accusation, just that I’d make a mistake and cross that line.
And I can understand that a lot of guys are afraid of that. They know they are clumsy, and they are afraid that well get them labelled as creeps. Well, it won’t.
But Idiots like Pollock (who doubled down on his, “I wasn’t talking about you with the fallujah/PTSD comment, never mind he was quoting my secondary explanation of how I do day to day risk assessment: and I’m the only out Vet on the thread: Yeah, he’s that stupid, or that arrogant, or both) are actively working to make harassment (and rape) easier.
He keeps a double standard (and proudly) where women are responsible for everything, and guys are sort of passive agents. That’s the thing I want to get clobbered. It’s one of the biggest things making it hard to stop the harassment (seriously, he tried to say a workplace Harassment policy was too restrictive, because women’s clothes were too sexually attractive).
It’s not just cons he wants this to be the rule for, he wants women to be … I don’t know what he wants. but it’s nasty.
“who doubled down on his, “I wasn’t talking about you with the fallujah/PTSD comment, never mind he was quoting my secondary explanation of how I do day to day risk assessment: and I’m the only out Vet on the thread: Yeah, he’s that stupid, or that arrogant, or both”
Lol, you have the perk of knowing people who don’t get their info from TV, don’t you know we’re not supposed to ever be functional at anything?! (I do not want to discuss how many times this week I’ve debated if shooting the person with the fireworks would be noticed over the fireworks [not that I would, but seriously, when you're making a little girl scream blocks away, you needed to tone it down 5 min ago!])
Yeah, I’m reading that thread now, though skimming most of Pillock’s and the other pro-harassment scumbags’ stuff. Shitbags, the lot of them.
This is what I saw recently on bras (from discussion on page 3 of the comments). It’s about the “under arm fat” that is really drifted breast tissue. It also talks about how / why underwires help if the bra is the right size, and are terrible if they are not.
http://www.bralessinbrasil.com/2012/08/byebye-underarm-and-back-fat-hello-big.html
I haven’t had a chance to put this in to practice, yet, been bra-less for a few years. But this kinda made me want to try again.
On page one, you guys were talking about anti-depressants, and SSRIs in particular. So I wanted to tell my little story really quick.
One of the first anti-depressants I was put on was Paxil. It made me have panic attacks all the hours I was awake. I tried for 3 days before I stopped. This was back when I was a teenager.
More recently, 3 years ago, after telling my little Paxil story to every doctor I happened to end up with, another doctor thought I should try Gabapentin. I spent every day of 4 monthes thinking my beloved (who was working 6 to 7 days a week to support us) was going to leave me, and crying every time I heard Freedom 90 from George Michael. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a good song, but I don’t think it requires helpless sobbing.
I have a good doctor now who agrees that while anti-depressants have shown to help some with fibromyalgia, I was clearly not one of them.
People are talking about walking the Appalchian Trail. I read a really good book, A Walk In the Woods, by Bill Bryson, where we tag a long on his trip. He has a few other travel books, and books on the quirks of English language (where I found him a billion years ago). In a Sunburned Country was also excellent. It was a neat adventure, and I liked that he acknowledged at least some of the issues facing Austrailan Aboriginals (perhaps Native Australians? You know, I am uncertain what the preferred collective term is. I realize there are many cultures, but there is a lot of common experience for everyone decended from Australian pre-colonial peoples.). Including the super-long Austrainlian government policy of child abduction and “reeducation” (all the way into the eighties, if I remember correctly).
@LBT
I don’t know how important it may end up being, but do you have a battery operated radio? Perhaps even one of those emergency weather alert ones?
I’m on page 8 of the comments, and will try to get to the rest after I sleep some. Hope everyone is doing as well as they can be right now.
Hi, T7G! I’m just going to check that link you left.
Meantime, this one’s from the popehat endless thread, and it’s beautiful (it’s by legionseagle, in case that link goes awry):
http://www.popehat.com/2013/07/01/why-does-talking-about-creepers-and-harassment-make-people-so-angry/#comment-1074194
Whoo, that Braless in Brazil page was really interesting! I must try that. Be nice if it wasn’t the underwires’ fault, since it’s so hard to find any bigger bras that don’t have them.
@Ally: I just have to tell you that after chatting with all of the Manboobzers, Ally including, for the whole evening pretty much, Ally featured in my dreams. I dreamt that me and Ally were on a mission to retrieve the last existing DVD copy of “who framed Roger Rabbit” which was incredibly valuable and everyone wanted to get their hands on it. Ally, in my dream, was a really petite blonde woman who was about 1,55 m tall. I think my subconscious, for some unknown reason, based her looks on a petite blonde girl I went to high school with.
Weird.
Weird but Cool! :)
Wow. I need to not read that Popehat thread right before going to bed or I will have angry angry sleep… Night/morning y’all.
Niters, SittieKitty!
I’m still reading it (the bits by the non-creeps).
Yes, that was a good bit. Pillock promptly said it was too over the top, and showed signs of an abusive relationship.
I’m glad Popehat is going to lock it.
Yeah cuz having multiple partners at once totally means taking any applicatants!
(Some one send me to bed)
LegionsEagle also did a great takedown of his fallujah comment, which made him get all petulant. She called him on his gaslightuing too.
Hai, giant open thread! So many comments I want to reply to, but instead I’m going to ramble about myself. Umm, basically this is super personal but I’m pretty used to sharing (hello, therapy since childhood). Just want to share with cool peoples, because I am sad.
I haven’t spoken to my father in quite a few years. Basically I’ve probably had depression since childhood with neither parent being quite able to care for me, was closer to my mother though she was worse and I was the emotional punching bag/counsellor from a young age. Dad and I had a good relationship, my parents split up when I was 13/14, that was fine because they hadn’t been happy together for a long time but I hated my mother’s partner, then my father got together with another woman who I looooved until she started literally making things up to get my in trouble (ie: reason I don’t trust people who are too “nice”), I was depressed and angry and we’d have huge fights where he’d scream and physically intimidate me and sometimes hit me (he is a big man); my mother was more wont to attack me but she is not as big.
I moved to another city away from my father when my mother did (that did not overall go great but I love this city), our relationship was a bit better by the time I was about 20 and he offered to pay for me to go to uni. Halfway through the year we had an argument and he pulled funding, I dropped out, we didn’t talk for a few years. Was pretty amazing actually. Dad called me out of the blue a few years later, we tentatively got back in touch, then after a year or so I rang him up to explain to him that it was totally unacceptable for him and his partner to have my siblings (via my mother and her partner) come to their house when they don’t know them and they knew their parents would not be OK with it, when visiting their sister (via my mother’s partner and his ex-wife… my father’s partner). I was the only one who spoke to “both sides” really so I brought it up. Turned into me taking Mum’s partner’s side and I’m so meeeean, he called me a cunt and hung up.
That was kind of hilarious. I had partitioned my feelings for my parents so much by that stage that it just amused me that he just managed to make himself look massively like the bad guy; I mean really? Calling your daughter a cunt for disagreeing with you? Until I found out that my father’s partner had told her daughter (my half-half sister) that I didn’t want her to see her siblings. That’s how nasty a person she is, hurting her young daughter to score points. I left this long, tearful message about how I couldn’t believe they’d stoop so low, it’s absolutely disgusting to bring children into this, I’m shocked. Never thought he’d listen to it, but clearly he did, and sent me an email about how they never did anything like that and I’m such a bitch and don’t write back. Pathetic. Anyway, not having anything to do with him and his family was wonderful for my brain.
So. Despite him sounding like an unrepentant arsehole, I actually have less baggage with my father than my mother, and I’m finally in a somewhat decent place mental health wise where I’d like to talk to him. So I’ve written this letter, complete with pictures of all our animals he’s never seen. Which has made me incredibly sad because (a) lots of looking at pictures of rats now passed and (b) he made me a photo album last time we were in contact, full of pictures of me at varying ages. He included a note in his scribbly handwriting saying I hope I liked it because he knows I hated lots of photos he took of me, and he didn’t write any notes by the photos because “[he's] bound to fuck that up”. That made me so so sad at the time, and still does.
He came from an abusive upbringing and honestly cannot see what hurt me: he wanted to show he loved me with the album, and was so afraid I would hate it. I didn’t know how to express what it meant to me at the time. The fucked up part of my childhood was the feeling of trusting people then having that crushed, rinse and repeat, as it got harder and harder to trust so hurt more every time. So now saying nice things to people feels painfully vulnerable. Also why I love the internet, because I can be nice in text. :D
That’s about as succinct as I can make that, sorry.
Pecunium – there was one bit (regarding a child) that was just mind-bogglingly awful. Don’t want to mention details since zie asked people there not to, but you’ll know what I mean. Just fucking unbelievable.
Yeah… we talked about en passant here. I have to say that being tired (this is my second night awake until dawn with this little fuckmuppet), and knowing the thread is going to get locked any minute now, did make me a little more colorful in my language than I normally am.
Of course he did engage in lots of passive aggressive shit, and called me names; but really, it was that shit (and it gets worse, with that shit: he gaslit how it went down: If I’d not pulled a “brandon” and gone back through the first 600 comments to make a reply I’d have missed it), which really pissed me off.
Of course he thinks its that we don’t like his “reasonable” suggestions because we hate men, and want to make them all into social eunuchs, or something.
He really is arguing that what is being protested now isn’t really harassment, because the women are too sensitive, and they don’t protest enough, and men need to be able to tell them when they have drawn the lines too far.
Which, of course, he thinks has already happened.
And I’m starting to be unable to type. Five hours of sleep last night. About four the night before, and none so far tonight.
@LBT:
I have access to my normal hard drive from tomorrow on. If you have an e-mail, I can scour it for survival ressources? I would also heartily, heartily – HEARTILY – recommend the book called “Vagabonding”, by Rolf Potts. It’s probably even more useful for you, since it’s quite American-centric – it comes with numbers to call, everything. Just get it.
I have an e-mail, which is Fibinaut at g of mail. So poke me there if you want me to rustle through a few terrabytes for some books on surviving. It would not be a bother, as I need to catalogue it anyway.
——
@Argenti Aetheri:
DK.
Denmark is DK, for the Danish Kingdom – or Danske Kongerige, which is the official name for our little spot of dirt on the map.
Country codes tend toward favoring the first few letters of the country in question name in the most commonly spoken language.
(DE, US, DK )
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@pecunium.
Las palabras son fáciles, la sustancia es difícil.
Or, thank you for the compliment, but it’s funny how I often feel a little short of worthwhile things to add compared to people who seem to know bloody everything about everything.
Interestingly – on the conversation of acceptance that was root in – I’ve only finished the DK equivalent of High School plus some extra tidbits and electives due to a tangle with Life.
So…
@MordsithJ:
We’ll shun you for your trade school certifications! And by shun, I mean that in the same way Obsidian Files uses the word fungible, to refer to an entirely different activity and aspect of the situation at hand, and we will, in fact, welcome your presence with open arms. Huzzah for reasoned debate.
[:
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@Obsidian Files:
I don’t feel comfortable writing at you when you’re on moderation, but I’ve got it all scrounged up in Word anyway, so here goes.
vs
… Well, dude. None of that’s illegal, last time I checked. Why you getting so upset about it?
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False.
If you possess the goods the other sex desires, you don’t need to put down competition – there is inherently less, or even no, competition. You only move into the stage of killing off or putting down adversaries if you don’t possess the means to get your goal by any other means. Any way an animal can avoid fighting it tends to take, because fighting is dangerous.
Humans have entire systems to circumvent fighting, for instance – shame, social talks, laws, empathy, so on…
But that’s the besides the point. That’s only assuming evolutionary psychology holds and everyone is fighting for the same mate. And that there are no other options but “fight”. Because survival of the fittest means murder, don’t’chaknow… (It doesn’t)
You’re saying that the only reason anyone objects to anything is because it might mean they can’t get laid.
This is what you said. That is your intentional stance on life. That’s your belief.
How miserly and sad is that? I think I’ll keep my moralizing, uncurbed vanity in check, because dear god, at least when people lend me their house for a week I don’t assume its because they want to sleep with me.
No, the reason I – personally – disparage large aspects of game was that I read the book The Game when I was 16, and it’s a book I still recommend to people. But that’s not “game” as it is these days, that’s not understanding anything or doing anything. Every single reference people make to PuA or Game or seduction these days – every, single, one I’ve seen! – makes me momentarily ill with the thought that that is something I could possibly have believed if I wasn’t lucky enough to be me and thus contractually obliged to always retain enough rhymes and snark to not really believe anything. Not to mention the arrogance helps. But only after the therapy.
And three years of believing everything is as terrible struggle is quite enough, thank you. On the list of things I have to curb, which isn’t my moralizing, is a tiny backwash at the back of my thoughts that tell me, occasionally, when I have moments of low self-esteem that I’m not being “dominant” enough.
That people won’t respect me if I ask for help.
That when someone asks me to do something, it’s because they’re trying to abuse me and sneak favours of off me. That the moments of joy other people have are somehow hollow because they’re not following the script of my head.
And that’s the world you choose to live in, by your own account? That is sad.
Turns out reading a lot of stuff can cure you of a lot of strange and silly beliefs – for which I am, by the way, thankful for this site – and this entire idea of Game as it’s presented these days is fucking atrocious.
Also, notice how many times when someone suggested something, you replied with “Ah, but some game teaches this”.
I counted at least 4.
so doesn’t that kind of hint that a lot of Game really is… basic and simple advice you’d give to some people, and the things we object to are all the other stuff? Like, oh, I don’t know, “It’s not lying, it’s flirting?” or “The best way to retain a mate is dread”.
Psfh.
You know nothing, Mr. Geological Process. Have a great day.
Hey Manboobzers, wanna see my Furinati? http://dpossen.blogspot.se/2013/07/sommarbilder.html We’ve got a new computer and I haven’t figured out how to crop pictures on it yet, so the pics are just exactly as they came out of the camera… :-) But you can click on the pics to enlarge them anyway.
I’m really, really no expert in “game”, but from what I’ve seen it’s a mix of fairly atrocious stuff and completely sensible advice that could be given to men as well as women, straight as well as gay people. Like, an example off the top of my head, I read an interview with Neil Strauss where he said that if you wanna hook up with someone hot, you should open up a conversation by asking a question rather than giving a compliment, because a compliment might just fall flat, but a question will more easily lead to an engaging conversation. That really falls into the area of “sensible advice that could be given to anyone regardless of gender and orientation”. This whole idea of dressing in a way that attracts attention is probably fairly sensible advice as well – if more people notice you to start with, more people will probably come up and talk to you, crazy clothing provides a handy topic for a conversation with complete strangers and so on.
So from the little I’ve seen of PUA advice it seems like some of it is fairly sensible stuff, but then, those parts you could probably come across outside of PUA circles as well, like on Captain Awkward and other non-PUA advising sites.
@pecunium
Oh my gosh, I am so sorry he did that to you. It is NOT OKAY to imply that someone has PTSD and use their PTSD to try to discredit them. I’m glad I wasn’t there, because I wouldn’t have been as restrained as you. I would have gone Hulk on him. Mean people like him see PTSD as an easy target, and it is, but it’s definitely fighting dirty. It’s like an asshole at USA Today that told a guy in Joplin with PTSD
It worked because the other guy bowed out of the conversation, meaning the asshole “won”. He also told a father
Nobody could reason with him, because he kept doing low blows like that and making everyone too upset to continue.
Between reading about that and Obsidion blaming a rape survivor for zir rapists’ future actions, I don’t know what to think. I’ll have to put Darth Vader goes to Disneyland to add some happiness.
Vader … teacups … can’t breathe
Back to the subject of homelessness:
@LBT, I found this a few years ago. Dunno if it’s any good, because I never tried it, but it may be worth checking out:
http://guide2homelessness.blogspot.com/
And I’m just going to jump in this thread on the last page because Holy hell is it long!
@Argenti Aertheri
Those sound totally adorable! I should google pictures. I will go do that now.
@Cassandrasays
Holey hell what is it with people changing that poem to fit their own shtick :(
@theseventhguest
I’m not sure why they help, but the moment I got myself meassured underwires were so much more comfy. (I was two whole cup sizes off!) I barley notice them. /rambling, but I love when bras fit right.
I’ve also got some of my own problems to vent/ beg for advice for, but I don’t want to be derailing to much, so if it doesn’t bother you guys I’ll do that? Anyway, if it’s a problem feel free to say and I won’t vent here.