Long Weekend Open Thread
Like a lot of people in the US of A, I am taking a long weekend. Posting may be a little light for a bit. So here’s an open thread for everyone else taking a long weekend. Or not. Use this thread for anything that’s not personal. Like misogyny, politics, kitties, you know the drill. (Though kitties are welcome in all threads, of course.)
I am hoping my long weekend turns out a bit better than that of the people in the Australian movie of that name from 1978, which I keep meaning to see. Apparently their little beach vacation doesn’t go so well, and they are attacked by … nature? At one point, I believe, they face off against an enraged dugong. (No, really.) The movie was recently remade, but apparently the remake wasn’t as good.
Stay tuned for more reviews of movies I haven’t seen and that I’m just giving vague impressions of based on things I’ve heard somewhere.
Posted on July 5, 2013, in off topic, open thread. Bookmark the permalink. 1,365 Comments.
Did he have a tank full of gentle cuttlefish?
Thanks for the handy place to put off topic links! :D
The game is rigged. Women can’t win.
OP on r/mr posts a probably fake story, the moral of which is that there are no circumstances in which it is allowable for a woman walking alone at night to be frightened when approached by two strange men. The misters mostly nod and agree how terrible it is, and how she basically false-accused him.
The comment I link is from a dude who is pissed off that a woman is NOT frightened or intimidated of a man she doesn’t know on the street, because NOT being frightened or intimidated will eventually cause her to have her jaw broken or be raped, naturally. Again, general agreement. None of the misters seem to notice the contradiction.
Sigh.
On a happier note, happy long weekend to those who have one! I’m going to San Diego for a wedding, and I’m going to see The Merchant of Venice at the Old Globe.
Right. If you don’t trust men you’re a misandrist crazy feminist, but if you do trust men, you’re gullible and just asking for it.
Chiming in on the happy notes: me and Husband went to the sea today (we live pretty near the coast of the Baltic sea) with the dog pack. Our GSD girl loves swimming, and the toy dog boys play on the beach.
I could have had a long weekend, but I decided to go into work in order to stay caught up on shipments. I’m completely alone in the office today and can listen to my music as loud as I want! (Which still isn’t very loud.)
I live in a culture where endless graphic violence is permissible in mainstream media, a statistically insignificant number of rapists actually go to trial, all kinds of black humor about violence and rape is blinked at, abuse is institutionally tolerated and in many cases suborned, but consensual sex between adults is still somehow shameful or at least scandalous.
The backwardness and hypocrisy of it all…
Just getting that off my chest after reading through the video games thread.
Depression sucks. I have been on Zoloft for almost 2 years, and it didnt do anything(the reason I didn’t swap is because my mom is really weird about meds and is in denial about my depression).
Now I can finally swap, and I’ll be on Wellbutrin soon.
The reason is because Zoloft uses serotonin, and Wellbutrin uses dopamine and that other hormone that I totally forgot the name of. So she’s seeing if the change does anything.
She said when your serotonin is fucked up, you’re really anxiously depressed. My depression is like emotional pain and apathy. Wellbutrin kind of makes people perky or something, so maybe it will help.
I recently had a guy (complete stranger) get pissed at me because he came up to me at the library info desk (where I work) and put his closed fist out and asked me to hold out my palm underneath it. He said “don’t say I never gave you anything.” I said “um” because I (reasonably, IMO) was hesitant to put my hand out when I had no idea what the stranger had in his hand. Then he said “YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE SO SCARED” and stomped away in a huff.
Anadiomene122, it is terrible. But notice the only thing that makes rape culture and consensual sex different is that the latter involves a woman is enjoying sex, and enjoying sex is a mans job! Pleasing is a woman’s!
(Given that we are talking about heterosexual sex, homosexual sex is a whole different story).
Grumpycatisagirl, wut
I’ve read in several places that there’s actually very little evidence that SSRI meds are effective. Anyone knows more about this? That would be pretty fucked up if it was true, since SOOOOO many people are on that…
Grumpycatisagirl, so he makes a creepy command of you, and then got offended when you were creeped out by it. Wow. And I wonder if he realizes how yelling and stomping off just confirms that yes, you were right to be suspicious and hesitant.
Grumpy, yeah, that’s a really creepy guy. And a really common kind of creepiness at that. I got a bit of deja vu reading that – not that I’ve had a guy saying that exact thing to me, but I’ve been exposed to lots of similar-style creepiness when I was young.
Seconding the wat. That’s very, very creepy.
Dvärghundspossen – I don’t know about what’s been reported, but I was on an SSRI (fluoxetine ) and it was effective to the point that it creeped me the fuck out because nothing felt like natural emotion anymore, so I went off it again after a few months.
And yeah, I’m with everyone else on Grumpycat’s creeperdude. So not cool.
Okay, I’m gonna rant a bit, since this is an open thread.
1. Just read one feminist blogger who commented on a newspaper chronicle about how hipsters never have sex, and she’s like “what a silly chronicle, almost incoherent, and everyone I know still has sex, even those who could be labelled hipsters”. All the commenters chime in and are like “yeah, that was a silly generalizing chronicle”. Guy comes in and comments that he and his buddies, they never have sex nowadays, because this whole sex thing has been ruined for them with all this consent talk, it’s so terribly hard to know whether a woman really wants to have sex or not so they feel it’s better to just abstain from it altogether!
Oh, poor guys, *patting them on the head*. SERIOUSLY. It’s NOT THAT HARD. Most people SHOWS when they want to have sex, and if you’re uncertain, just fucking ASK.
2. Read another feminist blogger who writes about how she wants to be able to walk down-town in goth clothes without random dudes commenting on her clothes, even if it’s just to give “compliments” on how beautiful she is. Various girls chime in, then some guy comments that he’s been lonely and celibate for many years now because he respects women too much.
Oh, poor guy! SERIOUSLY. It’s NOT THAT HARD. Just don’t “compliment” random women walking down the street minding their own business. You won’t hook up with anyone doing that anyway. And sure, there are no guarantees in love and sex, you might end up lonely and celibate through no fault of your own, but stop pretending as if it’s the fault of feminists asking that you don’t “compliment” random women walking down the street minding their own business.
@Dustydeste: Yeah, seems like lots of people think it made a great difference to them, so I’ve been really surprised at hearing people saying there’s a lack of scientific evidence.
I’ve been on an SSRI two years ago after I got psychotic depression. Depression lifted, but I have no idea if it was because of the SSRI or if it just happened naturally, since I’m hardly ever depressed anyway, and the last time I remember being depressed (many, many years ago) it passed over without treatment in a few months.
What I do noticed the SSRI doing, was making me incredibly sleepy. I eventually quit taking them because I couldn’t stand being so terribly sleepy all the time. Then the weirdest thing happened: I had a sensation like tiny electric shocks in my arms for a few days, before it passed again. My shrink later told me that’s a common withdrawal symptom if you quit taking SSRI without phasing it out slowly.
Both could be true. The placebo effect is a powerful thing, so SSRIs may be working for some people even if the drug itself isn’t having the biochemical effects it claims. It’s kind of like how acupuncture works well for a lot of people for pain management or minor depression, despite there being no apparent reason why it should work.
OMG, brain shivers. I got them like whoa every time I ran out of Effexor (which was often, because paying my insurance bill on time was difficult for me). Even now, when I have insurance that doesn’t quit the second your payment is overdue, I refuse to go back on it.
People like him know better when they claim that getting consent for sex is too hard. They understand just fine when someone tells them no. They just don’t like the answer. It’s scary because they want people to think that rape is simply a “misunderstanding”.
I am so tired of guys like him that think it’s feminists’ jobs to help him find sex partners. Yes, it’s sad when someone is lonely and unlucky in love, but it’s still not a feminist issue. He never stops to consider the blogger’s feelings either. She wants to exist in public without dealing with creepy compliments, but his desire to invade stranger’s boundaries come first.
And sometimes those guys will say that if feminists don’t help them get laid, then they will have no choice but to stop respecting women and use PUA crap. Yeah, well they weren’t respectful to women in the first place. If they had respect for women, they wouldn’t insist on derailing all feminist conversations to be about their boners.
I’ve used several kinds of anti depressants in my life, and I think the older, tricyclic ones like Elavil work better than the new SSRI’s. The tricyclic ones are also useful for insomnia and anxiety, for people with a more anxious depression instead of a more lethargic kind. Doctors don’t prescribe them as much anymore, because they have more side effects, but for someone struggling with anxiety and depression, they might decide the side effects are worth the relief. The most noticeable side effects are dry mouth and an increase in appetite.
Trade anxiety and depression for dry mouth and hunger? Fucking sign me up.
AHHHH TRICYLICS NOOOO!!
*waves from the bipolar corner of the room* just don’t do it if bipolar, or maybe bipolar, you do not want to have that hunch confirmed when you start bouncing off the walls while suicidal.
Unipolar depression…listen to thebionicmommy.
@emilygoddess, that’s what I think too. The side effects are mild compared to the benefits. Another bonus is that my monthly copay for the generic is only $3 a month.
I’ve seen that “Long Weekend” movie! It was decades ago but I remember it being terrifying. And oh look, it’s on YouTube:
I did not know tricyclics are bad for bipolar. And even for unipolar depression, what works great for one person might not for someone else. So always ask a doctor if zie thinks the medicine is the right fit for whatever kind of depression you have.
Yes this yes. If you think women need to earn your “respect” by pleasing you sexually then you are already a misogynist.
God I hate how anti feminists never even understand our arguments. Like when a feminist says “women have the right to say no” their reactions are all “feminists hate sex”. Hell, some will even admit that that’s not what we are saying, they’ll say something like “now I know they’re not saying they hate sex, but c’mon guys, we all know what they really want: a dystopian matriarchy where all men have to be castrated.”
Then when feminists(or anyone) says “Contraception is good for preventing unwanted pregnancy” their reactions are “what, you want my daughters to be irresponsible whores? All you want is for everyone to have STDs and have ever child murdered brutally because abortions(or something, and yes I’ve heard this before).”
Seriously, it doesn’t matter. If I say “hitler sucked” while wearing a feminist tshirt, I guarantee there will be some reacting with “feminists love everything hitler did except being a man.”
Idk if I have bipolar. My therapist* suggested I might have that or schizophrenia once, and offered to prescribe ability. But then my mom flipped her shit since she thinks that I have nothing wrong with me, and that diagnosing me will suddenly give me that disorder.
*I keep forgetting what her technical job is. She prescribes mental medicines and used to be a nurse.
Viscaria, it reminds me of how racists argue that black people “owe” white people all the inventions, discoveries, and other achievements that they couldn’t make due to slavery.
Cloudiah, I don’t see the contradiction. They simple want women to not speak until spoken to, and to respond well if they are approached. Obviously women have to take responsibility if men harm them, but only bad men harm women. Women should be able to tell the difference, otherwise it is misandary. “Nice” men like them don’t harm women they just think about how women deserve harm for not satisfying them. It seems similar to what I was told was the Victorian attitude to children.
I am having one of those “seriously, wtf is wrong with everyone” kinds of days already, and poor sad lonelydude is just the icing on my cake.
Notice how if they want to go get a beer and some pizza with their friends, they don’t sit there and pine away, or talk generally about how well beer and pizza go together, they just turn to the nearest fellow lonelydudester and say “dude, wanna go get a pizza and some beer?”
If their fellow lonelydude says no, they don’t lament the fact that no one ever wants to get beer with them, do they? They don’t complain about how hard it is to find out if some other lonelydude wants or even likes pizza, right? They just ask, and if the answer is no, they ask other lonelydudes until they have someone to hang with or they get down to it by themselves.
I just found out what Angel Corps USA is.
I have also just found out that the house I am house-sitting has a very, very well stocked liquor cabinet.
Wtf is wrong with everyone. Arghlebargle nargle.
Well, cheers to everyone!
I haven’t been freelancing for a while now, but earlier this week I got a ping from an old client. I decided to help him out if I could, and now I’ve been treated to three days of vague statements about what it is he actually needs (a substantial chunk of research and written work) while he ignores my questions about refining the work and keeps telling me he’s having some computer difficulties and will try to process a deposit payment tomorrow or some time, but that I should go ahead and get started…
Is it too early to start drinking? Housemate has a pretty well stocked liquor cabinet, I have at least two bottles of chardonnay…
Pro-choice means we are against all babies being born, ever.
Today, we bought a couple bigass maps, and we’re currently sitting with the USA one spread out on the floor, marking where we want to go.
Thus far, we’ve got South, east and west coast pretty well covered, but the interior is just a big blank. Help us out, Boobzers! Can anyone recommend some neat places to visit, especially in the Montana/Dakotas/Wyoming area? We will be restricted to bus, train, or hitch-hiking (god forbid), and we enjoy parks, hiking, different cultures. I’m also taking it as an opportunity to do research for my post-apocalyptic traveling exorcist serial, so great scenery and cultural spots are great, tourist traps not so much.
On the misogyny front: Popehat asks why discussions of harassment are more contentious than anything else he talks about the people in the comments… well you won’t recognise the names, but the positions they stake out will be familar (even a wymminkind reference, I don’t know why Lizard didn’t properly make the i/y switch after the first one, but hey…).
Scalzi has made his position the subject clear: with a requirement that events he is to speak at have a public policy, in a prominent manner. He has already said it means that the American Library Association is no longer on his list of place to speak.
Reddit has been tolerably restrained, though the, “cosplayers are asking for it” crowd has made sent a couple of representatives.
@grumpycat And it means that we think it’s TOTALLY THE SAME THING to give a girl emergency contraception on the day after unprotected sex experience and to kill a viable baby moments before natural birth (and that we are equally okay with both).
LBT, um, Fargo? It’s a different culture I guess.
Never mind don’t waste your money going there. Just watch the movie Fargo and you’ll already know everything about ND.
I just don’t know much about that area.
@LBT, come to Joplin! I can show you all around to see the mineral museum, Bonnie and Clyde’s hideout, the Extreme Home Makeover houses, and the memorial at Cunningham Park to the 162. I know it’s not in the Montana/Dakotas region but if you’re in Missouri, make a stop.
For nature, I can take you out of the city to see some of the caves and hills of the Ozarks. And in Branson, they are trying to keep the moonshiner, hillbilly culture alive, but it’s kind of commercialized and tourist trappy nowadays.
@auggzillary
Ugh, that annoys me too. Or if a feminist says “rape is under reported”, their reactions are “How dare you say all men are rapists!” And if a feminist says “Abusers oftentimes boss their victims around” they respond “Feminists want men to go to jail if they ask their wives to cook dinner!” They can’t argue with the real, reasonable arguments so they have to exaggerate and make up fake ones to argue with.
Okay, this is getting scary now. I’ve got this guy texting me contantly and getting increasingly rude on the chat we’re running. All because I won’t send him an invoice until he tells me exactly what he wants me to produce and when he needs me to send it to him…
Seven texts in the last two minutes. That’s faster even than my fingers.
@thebionicmommy I wonder if this is the world that Frank Luntz created, where we have been so programmed to use slogans and dog whistle catch phrases that we literally cannot hear what each other are saying.
Wait where are you from, LBT? I always thought you were American…. Idk why.
This stuff is off the top of my head…
For hiking, the Appalachians are nice. Plus there’s “mountain people”, but their culture is more depressing since they’re really poor, have issues with meth, and a lot of them can’t read… Bluegrass music is pretty though.
Florida has awesome beaches but it can be touristy.
Chicago is awesome from what I’ve heard.
Also The Smithsonian museums are damn cool, I went to the natural history and the modern and classical art ones.
Colorado has good skiing.
Utah has good skiing and Mormons, but idk if you’d like them. They’re nice but their issues with sexism, homophobia, and racism bother me.
If you go to NYC stay out of Bronx because its somewhat dangerous.
New Orleans is also really cultured. It’s creole, which I guess is like French culture mixed with Louisiana culture. However New Orleans is also somewhat dangerous so be careful when you are there.
Texas has a lot of Hispanic/Mexican culture.
Alabama is beautiful but also has issues with poverty, racism, sexism, and homophobia. If you’re interested in the black civil rights movement then there’s a lot of stuff there about it.
As for the Midwest, I don’t know much. I do know that they have lots of Native American stuff there, if you’re interested. Also bald eagles.
LBT, visit the Badlands in South Dakota. Very scenic and unique.
Oregon has sequoia trees which are fucking awesome. That’s not Midwest I know, but theyre still cool for hiking.
Thebionicmommy, I remember when George Takei posted something like “if you talk to your daughter about being safe, talk to your sons about rape too.”
The comments were people saying “not all men are rapists!” and such.
When some lady said “not all men are rapists, but almost all rapists are men, so its still necessary to talk to boys about this”, the same people replied “just because all rapists are men doesn’t mean all men are rapists”.
WELL NO SHIT, that’s what she JUST said.
@LBT Pray, Montana! Not too far from Bozeman (also worth a visit) and some of the most beautiful land I have ever seen!!!
If you can swing it, this place is heaven http://www.chicohotsprings.com/
They have an open air hot spring and I always try to go in October, around Halloween. Lay in the water (@90-110 degrees) and stare up at the cold, bright, crystal clear
sky!
Goddammit, why did I look that up. WHYYYYYY????
RE: thebionicmommy
I’ve added Joplin to my itinerary! I know jack all about Missouri, so it’d be awesome to be with a local who knows the area, and I also hope to make it a “Meet Cool Online Peeps” trip. (So Boobzers, if you want to meet me/us, let us know! Crash space is appreciated, but not required.)
RE: auggziliary
Oh, I’m from the USA. Just in September/October I’ll be homeless again, so I figure I might as well make the best of it and hit the road. I feel it’d be better for me than quailing in spare rooms and shelters, waiting for better days. (So by the way, if anybody has a wee tent they don’t want anymore, I’m in the market.)
RE: altadenamusicproject
I was considering going there! Especially since camping in parks seems to be among the cheaper ways of roughing it. (Long as I can find a way to GET to said park.)
Oh, holy crap. Even the pages about it aren’t safe, so don’t even Google it.
I wish I could scrub that out of my brain.
LBT, where are you, regionally?
Guy: “How DARE I have to make sure that the people I have sex with actually want to have sex with me!!??! Feminists just won’t let men be men hypergamy mammoths arglebargle!!!”
So, I’m trying to salvage the interaction with this client and get him back on track explaining what he needs, and now he’s all “lol, u seem angry” and “ur not warm now, u mad at me?”
RE: Gillyrosebee
Oh my god, I love hot springs! I’d even be in the area in the autumn. Unfortunately, resorts are probably out of my “bum with a backpack” budget. Shame, really, it looks really nice.
Be careful hitch hiking, LBT….
RE: gillyrosebee
This client doesn’t sound worth the business. Seriously, he won’t even tell you what he wants. He sounds like he’ll make hassle for you the whole job through, and probably give you grief no matter what cost you give him.
Right now, I’m in the Boston area, but I plan to travel all over the country. First leg of the trip will be across the midwest to the west coast, then I’ll work my way down and across the South, then up the east coast again. (Well, that’s the general plan, anyway…)
RE: auggziliary
I don’t plan to hitch if I can possibly help it. I’d rather not get axe-murdered.
@LBT, that’s awesome! And yeah, I’ve got crash space no problem. Just let me know when you’re in the area.
Make sure to let me know when you are in LA, and yes I have a couch (if you don’t mind being covered in kittens).
LBT, granted the last time I was there was about four years ago, but you could camp up on the ridge and come down to use the resort for a flat fee. We stayed for a week, hiking and hanging out during the day and using their showers to wash and change for the springs, then stumbling back up (only about half a mile, but the elevation really gets you) to our tents for the night.
@ Dvarg
My male privilege, let me show you it. What do you mean, my cock isn’t the center of the universe?
(Dudes who turn up in the middle of random feminists conversations to talk about how hard it is to get laid? Don’t do that.)
RE: thebionicmommy
Sweet! *checks map* I’ll likely be in your neck of the woods… sometime in the fall, maybe October/Novemberish. (As you can see, my planning is AIRTIGHT.)
…and I just realized I spent the last two hours (that I will not get paid for) trying to get him to just tell me what he needs…
RE: katz
I was considering visiting LA for Tarzana. (I know, I know, I just have to pay my respects to the Great One.) I’ll probably be there in the winter, and it’d be great to see you! *adds to map* As for the kitties… would I expect anything less, from a Manboobzer?
RE: gillyrosebee
I see! In that case, you’ve sold me. I’ll have to visit there and take advantage of the hot springs!
RE: gillyrosebee
Seriously, that client just sounds like shit overall, and if he won’t even say what he wants, can you imagine how he’ll treat PAYING you?
@LBT, that’s perfect because it is prettiest around here in the fall. The trees and the fall foliage are just gorgeous. Also the terrible heat is over by then but it’s not freezing cold yet either. We also do corn mazes and pumpkin patch hay rides in those months, and those are always nice.
Well, we’re in this problem because we agreed on the project and then he didn’t pay me. And now he’s late and boo hoo.
Trying to kick him to the curb and he’s not getting it.
@dustydeste:
I am so, so sorry.
@LBT:
Have a great trip! I’ve heard awesome things about… the place… in… The states?
I quite liked the falls and the Canadian border, admittedly, but your trip goes in the other direction, and where you go, I can offer no direction. Hope it all turns out neat though. Check in an tell us how it all works out time and again, yes?
And not just sex partners, mind you, but and endless stream of “hot”, young, thin, sex partners with big boobs. For these guys, if feminists really cared about men, they’d prove it by showing them how to sleep with Maxim models.
Since these guys love sales analogies, this would be like a pushy salesman insisting that his desire to make a sale takes precedence over people’s desire to eat dinner in peace or walk down the street without being harassed by pushy salesmen.
Call them, I think, just to make sure, but if they will still let you camp nearby and use the springs for the day, I’d definitely go for it. If not, head for Bozeman and Yellowstone!