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Why manly men and ladylike ladies must love dogs, hate cats

The true alpha

The rare super-alpha cat -lover/tamer, the exception to the rule

When I bring up the subject of cats on this blog, as I so often do, it’s party because, well, I’m a bit of a fan. But it’s also because I know it confuses and irritates the misogynists who read this blog, inveterate cat-haters all (or almost all). I’ve never quite understood the depth of the animosity the guys in the manosphere seem to have towards cats.

But now one of these cat haters has provided us with a theoretical explanation for his catphobia. In a post with the suggestive title “Limp-Wristed Cat Lovers, Beautiful Dog Lovers,” the guy behind the PUA blog LaidInNYC explains why real men — and real women — hate cats and love dogs instead.

Dogs are loyal, obedient, and affectionate.

Masculine men love these qualities in our companions, and they are qualities we want in our women as well.

Cats are selfish, independent, and alpha.

Masculine men hate these qualities in our companions.  This is because masculine men are the owners, not the owned.

Huh. It’s weird how these descriptions of “alpha males” often read like confessions of massive insecurity. So “masculine men” are so insecure they can’t stand being challenged even by their pets? They’re so threatened by the independence of other creatures that they can’t tolerate a pet that might sometimes wander off into another room to take a nap?

But according to Mr. LaidInNYC, it’s the cat-loving dudes who are the sissies:

95% of men who love cats are either gay or have sub fantasies*.  If you like cats, you like not being in control.

Well, all except for a small-percentage of super-alpha dudes who are so manly they can tame even the mighty housecat:

There are a small percentage of straight alpha seducers that like to own cats. The reason is they love dominating an already dominant living thing. They like to stare down and dominate their cats just because they can.

Welcome to my world.

Well, ok, sometimes the cats stare me down.

But what about the women? If masculine men love dogs, shouldn’t feminine women love cats? Then why do manosphere dudes so regularly hurl abuse on women with cats?

Well, LaidInNYC has an answer for that: it turns out that truly feminine women actually prefer dogs to cats, but for a totally different reason than men.

While men love the loyalty and obedience, girls are much more likely to coo over a dogs unconditional love, furry cuddles, and “look how cute he looks when he does that thing with his paw” type stuff.

Feminine girls love their dogs but they don’t enjoy training them, letting them run in an open field and feeling pride when the dog comes right back when called, punishing them when necessary, etc. …

Most of the feminine dog lovers I know already have strong male dominance types in their life, be it a strong father, boyfriend, or husband, and they just like the dog as another source of love. … cats are superfluous when you have a man to obey.

It’s a different story indeed for “the masculine, ugly, old, short-haired, barren feminists who end up being cat ladies.”

Ugly masculine girls, on the other hand, cannot find a male to dominate them in their social life because they lack the beauty. Since being dominated by a strong independent entity who doesn’t need her is so important to a woman, she must seek out that domination. Ugly girls find this in either a career, feminism, cats, or some combination of the three.

A job, a cat, some feminism: the holy trinity of MISANDRY.

I’m not not exactly sure how any of these things “dominate” women, but since Mr. LaidInNYC doesn’t actually seem to know anything about anything, I guess I’ll let that one slide.

In the meantime, I would like to treat you all to pictures of some of the evil independent creatures that make alpha males tremble in fear:

200fbb8ffd0ca9a6ded9951977d3a622b62922282ee3adb2191b46942e99a9a931dfd023c3ba19dd5679698932e6923cSONY DSC

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Posted on July 2, 2013, in alpha males, antifeminism, cuteness, dawgies, gender policing, homophobia, kitties, men who should not ever be with women ever, misogyny, patronizing as heck, PUA and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 331 Comments.

  1. That’s a cute logo you have there!

  2. Thanks, it was done by this guy.

  3. Thanks, guys! I literally forgot to sleep last night, thanks to all these comments and kitty-links, and my new obsession with Queen of Wands. I realized it was time for bed when my kitty came to wake me up in the morning, and I was still at my computer, watching “My Cat From Hell” videos.

  4. Mice are cuter than cats or dogs!

    Says me ;P

  5. @ Dvärghundspossen

    Hi!
    Yes, you are right! My experience with dogs is limited to city dogs, that have to live in a human-dominated environment, so my observation is also very limited.

    My dog was not raised with people, so at the beginning he didn’t know how to react when a person or another dog approached him, didn’t know what a car was, didn’t know what to do in the park… When he was a puppy, I could see how he modeled his behaviour after mine, checking my moods and gauging my reactions to everything new. I saw the same with my partner’s dog, in new situations he tends to rely on him to know how to react.

    As I have said, these are dogs who interact with people all the time, and who had to learn the rules of the human world. Now that I think about it, rather than “alpha/beta”, the relationship of these dogs with their humans maybe could be defined as “parent/offspring”.

    In short: you have made me think and you are absolutely right, this is a result of their environment and not a “natural” behaviour.

  6. jonatma420, has it occurred to you that the men in ancient Egypt revered cats? Oh, these guys also wore makeup. Nevertheless, they kicked a lot of ass back then. It would have been a bad idea to mess with them.

  7. Okay, I have just spent five minutes laughing REALLY LOUDLY at work.

  8. neuroticbeagle

    My work here is done then. :)

  9. Having just watched the scene in Black Books where Bernard spits out his wine, I nearly did the same with my tea when I read that! :D

  10. CassandraSays

    I particularly liked the cat on top of the mini fridge full of drinks. What, that isn’t a device invented specifically to keep cats comfortable in the summer? Nonsense.

  11. I thought having a cat that doubles as an out of order sign was a great idea. Given the state of our printers, photocopiers and computers at work, we could keep a couple of kitties occupied doing that.

  12. My printer is frequently out of order because Evie likes to plant her not inconsiderable back end on the feeder tray and use it as a comfortable spot for her early morning napping (by midafternoon the sun is in another window and she relocates along with it!).

  13. neuroticbeagle

    Cooties!

  14. Nah, Evie just stares at me whenever I print something. She doesn’t move a muscle, if anything she snuggles down even more, because it’s a laser printer and printing makes it get nice and warm!

  15. Hoomin germs, oh noes!

  16. http://okcniceguys.tumblr.com/image/51316795704

    Funniest MRA PUA magazine of all time x

  17. For a real cool cat in a fedora, check this.

  18. Awww, fedora cat is a cute little fedora cat.

    I’ve just published another post that includes trippy images. Click on my head if you’re interested. :D

  19. Where do people find these adorable little hats to put on their kitties?

  20. AAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhh fractals!

    Okay, I just had to go and look for fractal cats, didn’t I? And I had to go and find a downright scary one, didn’t I? And then I had to go and link to it, didn’t I?

    I’m not altogether sure it isn’t the Cat David Collective, though. The expression could be their reaction to one of Owly’s more spectacularly bizarre efforts.

  21. neuroticbeagle

    Speaking of trippy pictures, here is a cat WHO HAS TAKEN THE RED PILL.

  22. Don’t worry cat. Do you clean up the human’s poop? No? Then you’re clearly in charge.

  23. @Summer: Well, my personal experience is also limited to dogs who live with humans, and I do think a sort of parent-offspring relationship tends to develop between us… But I’ve known elderly people who used to have outdoor dogs in their youth for instance, and from what they’ve told me, it doesn’t seem that these dogs were particularly neurotic merely because they had to take care of themselves to a large extent. I think a dog will usually find ways to handle various situations even without a human being to protect zir and train zir – zie might simply run off from things that seem scary, and be content as soon as she’s put some distance between zirself and the scary thing, for instance (just like cats do). And there are also lots of dogs that are fairly fearless and happy-go-lucky by nature.

    I’ve heard lots of dog people claim that disobedient dogs are automatically unhappy, because these dogs go around with a feeling of having loads of alpha responsibility dumped on their shoulders. Obedience training makes them happier, because the dog will then feel that the burdensome alpha responsibility is lifted from zir shoulders and taken up by the human being instead. I think this line of thinking is anthropomorphizing the dogs… I don’t really think dogs think in terms of responsibility like that.
    For instance, lots of dogs will bark angrily at other dogs they meet during a walk. I don’t think that’s particularly problematic for the dog zirself if zie rarely meets another dog and therefore rarely has to bark. I mean, from the dogs POW, it works. Zie barks at the dog coming towards zir, and that dog soon goes away again. If zie meets lots of other dogs during walks, I think it’s a problem for zir because it’s stressful to bark all the time, but that’s it. I don’t think zie’s thinking something along the lines of “I’m having responsibility for protecting the pack, that’s more responsibility than I can handle, I wish a human being would take responsibility for pack protection so I wouldn’t have to” – that’s anthropomorphizing IMO.
    I think that if a previously disobedient dog seems happier after some obedience training, it’s probably because a) performing arousing behaviours over and over and over again eventually becomes stressful, so if the dog is trained not to do that zie will become more relaxed, and b) less conflicts with humans. But it’s not because the dog has some advanced thoughts regarding pack structure and responsibility.

    Maybe you weren’t talking about that either, but since I’ve heard this line of reasoning quite often, I read something like that into your first post.

  24. Wasn’t sure where to drop this off, but I think http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2013/jul/04/fathers4justice-family-courts-f4j you guys might find that interesting. The comments are as trolly as you would expect.

  25. @Monster

    “I don’t hate dogs, I enjoy them. I started my redpill training watching Cesar Millan”

    That is in one of the comments on the article! Hahaha eww. Just no.

    You know, my initial thought on reading the OP was that someone determined to “dominate” their pet is likely to end up abusing it into submission. This bit you quoted doesn’t exactly allay my concern for these guys’ pets…

  26. Off topic again, but does anyone know what doves are like as pets? They seem kind of like cats, since they’re chill but still like to cuddle occasionally, but with no fur or hunting.

  27. @Sittie

    He prolly thinks the women cheat and get their men to train the dogs for them, or that it’s men telling women to do it. I’m inclined to think the former because then he can say that women are low down dirty cheaters and submissive

    I’ve actually heard people say that dogs won’t obey women. I bet some of these guys would latch onto that meme if they heard it.

    @Thread

    Budgies! I love parrots, and would love to have a cockatiel or a budgie, but my partner doesn’t really want one. This would be after the cat eventually passes away, anyway.

    @Ellex

    Also, here are some famous and manly men who loved cats: Marlon Brando, Clark Gable, James Dean, Morgan Freeman, Ernest Hemingway, John Travolta, Mark Twain, Sean Connery, Jack Kerouac, Glenn Danzig, all the Beatles except Ringo, Nicolas Cage, James Franco, and George Clooney.

    Also, Patrick Stewart.

    And that pic of Christina Ricci and her cat scowling at the camera is adorbs. But that Nicole Kidman shot is from a movie (Practical Magic), so I wonder how many others are…

    @Historophilia

    I fail as a Feminist, can someone mail me an emergency kitteh?

    As it happens, I keep an emergency kitty around

    And finally, on the topic of men and cats (sorry if this has been posted already, but it’s one of my favorites):

  28. that… was adorable…

  29. I love the Engineer’s Guide to Cats!

  30. RE: SittieKitty

    I loaded your bonus sketch!

  31. \o/ Yay!! That looks awesome.

  32. My cats name is m00

    I loved this! The media induced belief that cats are evil, unmanly, ‘gay’. It really annoys me. Especially being a 21 year old guy who has spent his whole life with cats. My m00-cat is like my best friend. But yeah, while I was scrolling down and got to the pictures, I kept pulling the faces of the cats as I got to each one. Lol.

  33. Robert Parker started a series late in his life with a female protagonist: Tough, and she kept a boston terrier.

    His more famous series had a protagonist who kept German Shorthairs, but that’s a male lead (and those dogs were spoiled, in a minor way: you could also tell the dogs were Mary Sues for Parker’s dog. When one died, and another was obtained, there was a shift in personalityl; the author photo also had a new dog).

  34. Wow, their language is revealing. They just want women who will be obedient and loyal, like dogs! Is that really too much to ask? Ladies, start obeying your owners – er I mean, husbands.

  35. Holy shit. These people are really beyond parody, aren’t they?

    For some reason this line made me laugh my ass off:

    “I stated this theory on twitter and I was very satisfied with it.”

    Aw, look at that little researcher go! The scientific method in action right there!

  36. Hilariously pathetic. Don’t worry—they’ll die off and their kids will probably hate them.

    And OH MY GOD THAT LITTLE BLACK CAT IN THE SINK AWWWWWWWW.

  37. Any man who associates his manhood with being kinder to certain types of animals over others has no idea what being a man is about. This guy is trying way too hard.

  38. That was so funny and so true! LOL Thank you!

  39. Stephen Treadwell

    Cats are nicer looking than dogs.

  40. I don’t know about those theories about men and women and cats. Most of the men I’ve dated, (straight then and still straight today, also very sexy and manly men), as well as my current husband love cats. The few guys I dated who didn’t like cats were not good looking, and they ended up being abusive. As a woman, I am more ladylike than average, and I am not much of a dog person, no do I own any nor plan to ever. I love cats, and it’s not because I am manless, as I am happily married to a straight manly man who loves cats. So whoever came up with these theories is absolutely wrong, and my life is proof. Just sayin.

  41. I’m an alpha male and always preferred cats. Cats are natural hunters, I like that about them. While independent they are also easy to get close to if you raise them from kittens. Now dogs I can’t stand, they try to damn hard, always underfoot, wagging their tails, looking for attention, trying way too hard. Some think its not manly to like cats, I think it shows supreme confidence in who you are as a man to admit you like them & dare anyone to question it.

  42. emilygoddess - MOD

    Speaking of “trying too damn hard”…

  43. He was trying too hard. But he sort of raises a good point. It is funny that so many misogynist dudebros love dogs and hate cats. They pretend to be so independent and full of cold logic yet they prefer the pet who is needy and constantly reaffirms its love. Cats only love you after you prove your worthiness and they only you their love when they feel like it. They’re just as likely to be communicating to you that you’re not serving them properly.

    If women were so weak and fragile, wouldn’t be the ones into dogs while the independent and secure manly men like cats?

    Of course, in reality pet preference isn’t gendered as far I can tell. And plenty of people like them both. I like them both although I find dogs too time consuming and am content to love other people’s dogs and stick to kitties in my own home.

  44. I find most discussions about cats or dogs, personality types and genders, bizarre. I got both and like them both. The main preference is more related to the kind of lifestyle you lead. If you are more of an outdoor person on the go all the time, dogs fit better. I prefer dogs because I like to do stuff with my pets. You cant herd, track, do agility, search and rescue with a cat. A cat is like the friend you enjoy lounging on the sofa and watch a movie with, a dog is the friend you go hiking or play soccer with. I think there might be something with introverts tending to prefer cats because they like their space and their quiet time and extraverts leaning toward dogs because they like to interact more. But there would be gazillions of exceptions.

  45. I’m generally very satisfied to be a servant of the cats. However, I do wish I could bring them to outdoor things with me like you can with dogs. Spayed and neutered cats tend not to like leaving home though.

  46. Our cats sometimes take me for a walk. They have their shots, collars with bells (cos we like birds) and come and go as they please through a convenient cat-sized window.

    Some twilights – evening, or early morning if I’m up – they miao at me, go through the window, come back in, miao, go out, come in again. This means “walk with us”.

    We explore the alleys and back streets – they stick closer when we are in Other Cat territory and spread out more when they feel safer.

  47. That’s so cute! Darrow doesn’t mind a leash actually. But he’s afraid of traffic and doesn’t want to explore anything but yards. I probably don’t need a leash to bring outside because I doubt he’d run off. But I live in an apartment building that he can’t request to be let back into so I can’t take him out unsupervised. Dracarys has shown absolutely no desire to leave my apartment. She went into the hall for about five seconds one time and ran back inside never to venture out again. She was a stray before she wound up in the Humane Society so I’m not surprised she’s afraid to go outside and prefers to watch the world from the safety of the window.

  48. Had both (pack is still at folks’ place, 600 miles away) and I love both. My sister just has a kitty (17 lbs and not obese, so less a kitten, and more a giant), but she wants to get a dog, eventually.

    One of the dogs is super needy and wants to have your love, cuddles, and words with him always, and one of the dogs is really independent — except for when he decides he deserves a treat, and then he launches into his “I deserve a treat” routine.

    For the cats, my oldster is pretty independent, except for when he’s a) out of food (MROWER!!!!) or b) when he’s stuck in one room to keep him out of trouble. We think he gets cuddly out of boredom. Either that, or so that he can sleep without worrying that he’s miss when the door gets opened…

    Sister’s cat? Kind of like a mini-dog. Wants to play, wants treats, comes when he’s called, wants cuddles, all the time. Likes riding on shoulders, too, so maybe some parrot in there…

    He mew’s pittifully if he’s being ignored.

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