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Open Thread for Personal Stuff, Part Deux

Jul 2

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Hugs if you want them.

Hugs if you want them.

An open thread to discuss personal stuff, continued from here.

No trolls, no arguments.

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Posted on July 2, 2013, in off topic, open thread. Bookmark the permalink. 615 Comments.

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  1. Dalet | July 2, 2013 at 11:08 pm

    See? That’s the worst I’ve heard so far! What an awful scam! A personal emergency fund definitely seems like the way to go.

  2. Kittehserf | July 2, 2013 at 11:08 pm

    Yoyo – I’m sure learning to self-worship is a course component of training to be a surgeon!

  3. Argenti Aertheri | July 2, 2013 at 11:09 pm

    Dalet — hi! Sorry to start with advice without even introducing myself first! *waves* Argenti here, and just Argenti is fine, no need to type my (misspelt Latin) Aertheri! Gender neutral pronouns for me please (ze/zir), if you don’t mind me asking, what sorts of pronouns do you prefer?

    Now, formalities aside, idk how old your potentially kitty is, but if kitty is a bit older and not an off the walls kitten might your mother chill a bit when she comes over and sees it behaving and not being a hyper ball of fur? (Kittens are adorable, but dear gods can they be demanding! [not that puppies aren't are anything])

    …oh and remember when I said we had people check neo-nazi? None of the three got caught in my mathematical troll detection (which I ran by the less stupid psych, since she should know research right? Her answer to if it sounded valid was it depends what I need it for, but it doesn’t sound outright wrong [I had to massage my outlier detection a bit as it was picking up totally legit answers like disabled un/employed students])

  4. Kittehserf | July 2, 2013 at 11:13 pm

    Dalet, forgot to ask – what are your parents like about animals generally?

  5. leftwingfox | July 2, 2013 at 11:13 pm

    Dalet: aheh… it makes sense if you don’t have savings.

    I’m very glad my kitty is doing better, and I love her…

    …but that shit came out of nowhere, and the vet bills hit around $1150 cdn. It certainly would have been easier on my savings account to pay the $30/month and a $500 deductible, but I doubt it would been cheaper.

    I’d say do your research. Might want to try the vets in your area if they have any recommendations, and be sure to check out the exclusions and deductibles.

    Regardless, an aggressive savings plan, if you can at all swing it, is a good idea.

  6. AK | July 2, 2013 at 11:14 pm

    @Argenti, sadly, Skype is not an option where Mr. AK is. It’s a long story and he has an unusual job (basically, his career is making sure that other people don’t blow themselves up), but email is about our only option on these work trips.

    @Dalet, I’m glad my experience could help. One other thing I’d like to add is that I gave up some luxuries (I was working at a restaurant at the time, and mine was a daily meal at work–I brought one from home instead–and even with my employee discount that was $4-5 a day) and funneled that money directly into a pet emergency savings account. They were such minor luxuries that my parents couldn’t complain about me having them, so I was able to argue that it was basically extra money I was able to funnel into pet care. If I didn’t have my doggie, I’d just go back to eating restaurant meals on my breaks, you know? So basically I was able to argue that I was sacrificing for him (even though it totally didn’t feel like a sacrifice) rather than taking money out of my normal savings for him.

    Again, not sure how applicable it is to your situation but it worked a charm for me. :)

  7. Yoyo | July 2, 2013 at 11:17 pm

    @leftwingfox and dalet, the Lost Dogs Home or equivalent has the cheapest and best vets in my area. It is usually worth chasing up shelter related vets because they are usually very good and will do payment plans x

  8. AK | July 2, 2013 at 11:18 pm

    Oh and Kitteh, my dog is absolutely a superdog! Seriously, ya’ll don’t know the half of it…he’s also an honest-to-god union rep (AFSCME) and saved someone from drowning–and that’s just the stuff he did when I wasn’t around to supervise. And I have photos/documentation to prove it. A friend of mine who is an author has been bugging me for several years to write out the story of this dog’s life. :D

  9. Kittehserf | July 2, 2013 at 11:20 pm

    Wow! You going to let them write that book eventually, AK? :D

  10. Yoyo | July 2, 2013 at 11:23 pm

    Hey AKdoes super dog have kelpie by any chance? My kelpie cross was incredibly Coll and clever in a surfy swimming save the babies from a fire manner. My new dog also know as poopiehead is very pretty but somewhat challenged. In a hyperbolie and a half manner.

  11. Dalet | July 2, 2013 at 11:24 pm

    Hello, Argenti! It’s so, so nice to meet everybody! I’m agender, and I go by they/them pronouns, thanks for asking!

    Potential Kitty is, if I recall, around two years old, and you’re absolutely right that a calmer, more mature cat (which she sounds to be) will help her feel better. I’m torn between wanting Kitty to smooth things over by being friendly, and wanting her to hiss my mom out of the apartment, haha.

    Neo-Nazis, for real? I’m German-Canadian; I will fight people like that tooth and nail, I swear. That’s absolutely unacceptable.

    @leftwingfox: As Yoyo mentioned, most, if not all, vets in my city seem to do payment plans, which really helps to make me feel better about a potentially disastrous vet bill, though it is still my biggest fear about pet ownership.

    @Kitteh: My mother likes animals fine as long as they’re not too near her. My dad loves dogs especially, and if it weren’t for my mom we would’ve had at least a couple growing up, I’m sure. He’ll take this much better than she will, but he’s not very involved with me anymore and never ever argues with her opinion since she “knows better.” Basically, he’ll be ambivalent at best.

  12. Kittehserf | July 2, 2013 at 11:30 pm

    Hmm, so if Potential Kitty just keeps out of your mother’s way, at least until mother’s accustomed to her, that doesn’t sound too bad, I hope. At least they’re not anti-animal, which is a relief.

  13. patronizingpatriarchy | July 2, 2013 at 11:31 pm

    One of my clients (no, it was not sex related) died this past week. FD Reeve (aka Superman’s dad). A truly decent man. Against war (not like these, “feminist should fight for the right to sign up for selective service” types). I don’t know A LOT about him, other than that he was pleasant to talk to and he really enjoyed topics surrounding literature/art, he REALLY appreciated my art (even though I don’t consider my work very artistic). That’s my news for the week. I guess a little homage to a good man in the comment section of manboobz might be a breath of fresh air :)

  14. leftwingfox | July 2, 2013 at 11:32 pm

    Dalet: Oh good. If the vets in your area offer payment plans,then you’re much better off dropping that $50 into a savings account each month.

  15. Dalet | July 2, 2013 at 11:34 pm

    Basically, although I expect an initial explosion, and a VERY difficult couple of weeks, I’m hoping to get an explanation in, and then hoping Potential Kitty makes a good impression. If I can get both, I THINK this will work out, especially once my birthday rolls around and I put the money aside as planned. Money talks loudest to my parents; once they see that, they’ll calm down. Again, it’s still another three months, though.

  16. cloudiah | July 2, 2013 at 11:35 pm

    AK, I would buy the hell out of that book. A dog as a union rep? I WISH I could have trained dogs as union stewards back when I was doing that work.

  17. AK | July 2, 2013 at 11:38 pm

    @Kittehs: Haha I don’t know…I feel like that kinda kills the mystery, you know? The stories are still awesome but I think they lose something when you know all the details.

    But on the other hand, there’s that immortality aspect… I’m a bit history buff and my puppy is named Abutiu after the first recorded named dog in history who died sometime before 2280 BCE (also transcribed as Abuwtiyuw but try getting the vet to spell that properly) and I feel like Scooter (the dog I’ve been talking about) is at least as worthy of lasting fame as the historic Abutiu. ;)

    @Yoyo: No Kelpie, but he is an Australian herding breed…cattle dog to be exact. He looks mostly blue heeler, I think he looks like a heeler/border collie cross (having lots of experience with both breeds), but I also have had a lot of people say he looks pure Australian cattle dog/Queensland blue. Since he was a stray adopted from the humane society, we’ll probably never know.

    I’ve worked with 3 Kelpies so far (they’re not super popular here, but they’re gaining…) and I adore them. Amazing dogs.

  18. Kittehserf | July 2, 2013 at 11:38 pm

    ::gasp::

    I just realised, if she’s Potential Kitty, she must be …

    …

    SCHROEDINGER’S CAT

  19. Kim | July 2, 2013 at 11:39 pm

    So, I had the meeting about the “Broadband for Seniors” thing, but it seems she is as disorganised as the rest of them. They are only going to do it during work hours, and I only just found this out. So scratch that off the list. Was looking forward to it too, since I think internet access could make a huge difference to people.

    And all this talk of difficult parents and pets makes me feel sorry for my nephews. My brother dislikes pets and will never allow one in his house. They make too much mess for him. So my nephews will never have a dog or cat as they’re growing up. I guess he never really had pets when we were kids… they were always mine, or family pets and I was always the one who looked after them. So maybe he doesn’t think his kids are missing anything. But, if he did relent and let them get a dog, it’d be a strictly outdoor dog, so I guess potential dog is better off waiting til my nephews leave home.

  21. Aaliyah | July 2, 2013 at 11:40 pm

    @Dalet

    That’s unfortunate. I hope things get better for you soon somehow. =[

    At the very least, I’ll share this fantastic Calvin & Hobbes comic strip with you.

  22. Dalet | July 2, 2013 at 11:42 pm

    You’re too good to me, Aaliyah!

  23. AK | July 2, 2013 at 11:43 pm

    @cloudiah, I worked as a union organizer as well (far prior to my dog getting involved in the work…seriously, it was totally unrelated) and I know where you’re coming from. ;)

    My friend the author actually wanted me to write the book. I do a lot of editing but I’m not much of a writer and I think that’s part of it…I’m not sure I can tell the story well. Someone could write his story amazingly well, but I’m not sure it’s me.

  24. Ally S | July 2, 2013 at 11:44 pm

    Oops, wrong nym. X_X Please work this time…

  25. Yoyo | July 2, 2013 at 11:44 pm

    Ak, if your picture is him, he’s definitely blue heeler, great dogs but the do tend to be piggy for food. My friend heeler, Halva, had a whole round of schools, butchers and backyards he visited each day until too full to move.:-)

  27. Kim | July 2, 2013 at 11:48 pm

    That cat could just as easily be Horse.

  28. Argenti Aertheri | July 2, 2013 at 11:54 pm

    “… it’d be a strictly outdoor dog, so I guess potential dog is better off waiting til my nephews leave home.”

    I went into the office with my mother today to get some survey work done SINCE YOU GUYS DISTRACT ME and her and her boss where discussing some new law that makes it illegal to leave dogs out in “extreme weather”. Promptly the pair of republicans asked wtf the gov’n would consider extreme weather, at which point I chimed in with “probably official weather warnings”…guess who was right? Cuz hey look, some things we do have standard definitions for that work! (And fuck, we need to be told that dogs don’t stay out in severe storms?)

    Oh, I posted CPR and heimlich charts over on the Zed thread, the pet one is there too (Falconer, if you’re around, they include the info for infants, may you never need to know it)

  29. Argenti Aertheri | July 2, 2013 at 11:55 pm

    An, um, the charts include infant info, not the pet chart. Obviously.

    I should be working on the data, my sentencing skills are fail (sentencing, yes, that’s what I said)

  30. AK | July 2, 2013 at 11:57 pm

    @Yoyo, my picture is actually my puppy, Abutiu, my SAR dog and definitely a pig for food. We’re currently debating whether to switch her to toy rewards or food rewards in her SAR training, because we generally prefer toys as they’re cheaper/easier to carry/reusable, but her passion for food verges on an eating disorder. On the other hand she’ll also play fetch until she literally cannot carry the toy back because she’s so overheated and panting too hard…

    I have 5 heelers though, she’s my only red one, the rest are blue. I adore the breed, and yeah, they’re all nuts about food. One of mine in particular, Bandit, will get into any cabinet if given half a chance. I spent years thinking it was separation anxiety until I set up webcams and realized…he’s not anxious, he’s just a glutton and knows how to get into cabinets! They’re a wonderful combination of independent, driven and so clever. Great working dogs, but you’ve got to keep your eye on them constantly! ;)

  31. Kittehserf | July 2, 2013 at 11:58 pm

    Kim, oh yes, the mighty Horse! What a cat he was. Loved Footrot Flats. :D

    Okay, time for me to head off on Teh Commute and hopefully get some knitting done that I don’t end up pulling out. Catch yez later!

  32. AK | July 2, 2013 at 11:59 pm

    I meant to say that Abutiu is definitely a heeler, no questions. She’s not AKC registered but I know her bloodlines; she was surrendered because she was too much of a dog for them.

  33. leftwingfox | July 3, 2013 at 12:01 am

    Erf… need sleep… need to finish work.

    Have Studio Killers on loop. One more loops, and Olgaf fox is in danger of being replaced with Goldie Foxx.

  34. AK | July 3, 2013 at 12:08 am

    @Argenti (I think I have a lag in comments here), I fully support bans on leaving dogs out in extreme weather. I live in the mountains of the southwestern US; that translates to 100F temperatures in the summer, and well below freezing temps in the winter. I’ve volunteered with rescues here for years and every heat wave or cold snap (and these are not unexpected; they happen multiple times every.single.year) dogs die from being left outside without adequate shelter or water.

    And yeah, they always like to argue that. I work with a rescue that focuses on dogs who are left chained out 24/7, often with almost absurdly heavy chains (seriously, you would not believe how many tow chains we pull off of dogs). And the same people are like, “Well, what’s too heavy?!”

    I think anyone who can use a slippery slope argument to claim that it should be legal to leave a dog out with no shade in 100F weather or tie him out 24/7 with a fucking tow chain should spend a day or two suffering the same treatment. I’m usually not for the whole “an eye for an eye” thing, but I’d hope it might teach them some empathy.

  35. Kim | July 3, 2013 at 12:10 am

    Horse in action. I always loved Footrot Flats.

  36. Yoyo | July 3, 2013 at 12:12 am

    AK, I love the heeler a too but they are definitely all pigs. I remember when Halva managed to steal a whole roast lamb on the same day he’d got into a 5kilo bag of dry food and I brought round some scaps. The look when he realised he couldn’t fit another bite in was priceless. ;-)

  37. Yoyo | July 3, 2013 at 12:13 am

    Kim , footrot flats was great except for the eventual soundtrack. Damn dave dobbin!,,

  38. reginaldgriswold | July 3, 2013 at 12:22 am

    I really, REALLY hate to interrupt dog chat, being a dog person myself, but the TX House State Affairs Committee just approved the anti-abortion bill for a vote Tuesday. If anyone is coming in to town for Tuesday’s vote, get in touch with me.

    /Also, my dogs and I are at the bar – schnauzer cattle dog and a mini schnau. But I’m going to log off and get sleep.

  39. AK | July 3, 2013 at 12:25 am

    Yoyo, haha, I totally know what you’re sayin

    Ig. The first week I had my Scooter dog, there was one day that he got into both the closet where I kept his bag of food and the mini-fridge in my apartment. I came home from work to discover that he’d eaten about 10 pounds of kibble, an entire rotisserie chicken, half a pot of pre-cooked rice, some leftovers from a restaurant, 1/4 of a birthday cake and an entire loaf of bread.

    And the wildest thing? HE WAS FINE! If my German shepherd pulled that, we’d be in the ER with bloat

    I worked as a farrier for awhile and it was a bit of a joke that heelers were the only ones who could eat horse hooves (they love the nippings). My clients brought their horses to me and my dogs cleaned up, and it was often said that any other breed would be sick from it..And sure enough, when I got my GSD I found he couldn’t even tolerate one horse’s leavings (if the horse was a bit long, anyway), much less what my heelers and their iron stomachs deal with. ;)

  40. AK | July 3, 2013 at 12:27 am

    @reginaldgriswold, never apologize for interrupting with that kind of news! I’ve been following it but being in a rural area my internet sucks, I appreciate the notice. Thank you.

  41. Yoyo | July 3, 2013 at 12:35 am

    Wow, AK, Horse toenails? Talk about an iron stomache!
    @Reginaldgrisworld, I wish I could be there to help. The comments on line from the forced birthers are hideous. Truly I have seen comments stating than women should be forced to carry dead and dying foetus because jeebus.

  42. cloudiah | July 3, 2013 at 12:37 am

    @reginaldgriswold, Welp that’s terrible but not unexpected. Wish I could fly to TX. THANK YOU FOR BEING THERE.

  43. Argenti Aertheri | July 3, 2013 at 1:01 am

    Fuck, even my Plan B is abortion mother (who took BC for years…I’m working on that contradiction) thinks being forced to carry a dead fetus is absurd. Now, she seems to think induced birth is ideal, but part of it is she has no clue what a D&X is, and I was an induced birth…she’s favoring what she knows, but is smarter than that lot!

    And she, weirdly, respects my views enough that when one of the “crisis pregnancy centers” was fund raising and I googled and found that they do not give out Plan B or do abortion referrals and thus I could not in good conscience help their fund raiser (collecting spare change, and I had WAY too much at the time)…her response? She didn’t think I would. Nothing more of it.

    Can’t sort BC from Plan B from vaccuum aspiration from D&C from D&E from D&X, is smarter than those fools.

    (No autocorrect, I do not mean D&D!)

  44. guffaw-ferrets | July 3, 2013 at 1:03 am

    Hey! Is there room on this thread to reach anyone who might be interested in rehoming the horse I mentioned on the other thread?

    To my knowledge, he’s not being abused or especially mistreated — he’s just nearing the end of his racing years and will need a new home before too long. I’ve been keeping tabs on him since I left the racetrack and have tried to contact several Thoroughbred rehoming organizations to see if anyone could help him out, but no luck so far.

    Everyone who’s a regular here seems like nice people, so if anyone is in the market for a horsey friend or knows a sanctuary that might have room for one more, it’s worth a try!

  45. Yoyo | July 3, 2013 at 1:07 am

    Argenti, the contradictions in the forced birth crowd are head spinning. Even tho most later term abortions are for catastrophic birth defects there is no empathy in them. And they refuse to believe that many of us have had early term abortions and feel no guilt. I know what I did was the best thing for all.

  46. Argenti Aertheri | July 3, 2013 at 1:23 am

    Yoyo — I don’t remember the exact percent right now, but more women have abortions than there are Christians here (not sorting out combinations, just looking at how many people checked the category, we’re 13%~ Christian [some with other things, some without])

    I want to say something like 25% of women (and presumably other people who can get pregnant) will have an abortion at some point. So yeah, fairly common.

    Hell, add that to the list of things I love about EA — she speaks very frankly about her abortion in her book.

    Re: leaving dogs outside — I was going to say if you don’t want to be out, they don’t, but there’s always that one who wants to play in the snow bank or roll in the mud. So yeah, if they do want to go out in it, fine, but stay by the door! (Toy poodle, 1′ snow, most hilarious thing ever, he LOVED it)

  47. katz | July 3, 2013 at 1:38 am

    This seems like a good place for a reminder to northern hemisphere dog owners: Put your hand on the pavement before you walk your dog on it. If it’s too hot for you, it’s too hot for them!

  48. Yoyo | July 3, 2013 at 2:40 am

    Hi argenti, in terms of terminations post 22 weeks, the figure for the us is 1.3%. So not a huge heap of women going “whoops my bra don’t fit, think I’ll terminate” snark.

  49. LabRat | July 3, 2013 at 3:26 am

    AK- I live in the same region… got my butt saved by a SAR dog team after I wandered off the trail in a canyon once. Might’ve been someone you knew.

  50. Historophilia | July 3, 2013 at 4:21 am

    Oooh yay open thread.

    I have some good news, I’ve been asked by the Feminist and Women’s Studies Association, a largely UK based organisation that promotes Feminist research and Women’s Studies internationally to write a regular blog for them, on pretty much anything I want.

    http://www.fwsa.org.uk/about-us/

    They want a perspective from an Undergraduate Feminist and I’d been working with a member of them in our Women’s Studies department here at my University so she asked me to do it.

    I’ll be doing a blog post this month so I’ll post the link here when it comes out of you guys are interested?

    Also, I got the keys to my new house this morning and I’m moving in tomorrow. No more student halls! No more living with people who can’t seem to wash up after themselves or throw away their mouldy food! No more living with people who apparently don’t understand personal hygeine!

    I get a double bed! And a bigger room! And enough fridge space! And I don’t have to share a kitchen with 14 other people! Yay!

  51. Kittehserf | July 3, 2013 at 4:26 am

    Yay, Historophilia! Lots of good news!

  52. misery | July 3, 2013 at 4:36 am

    If I ask for dating advice here, is that okay?

  53. Dvärghundspossen | July 3, 2013 at 5:07 am

    That’s great, Historophilia!

  55. eline | July 3, 2013 at 9:01 am

    Oh there’s a thread like this. Nice. Confessions of shit that is going wrong are always needed. Me, had a minor operation give me bacterial meningitis while I’m waiting on a bigger operation in a few weeks. Relationship of 7 years ended thanks to my health causing neverending problems. And right now I wonder if I have pneumonia. That would be the cherry on top of everything and just my luck, so it probably is that.

  56. auggziliary | July 3, 2013 at 9:19 am

    Well on my college’s Facebook page, some dude wanted to know about martial arts. He basically said he doesn’t fight with rules or in rings, he only wants to know how to kill someone when they threaten him. When I told him how stupid and dangerous that was he cited Zimmerman as a “it’s ok it’s legal, castle laws”…
    I’ve taken screenshots of everything on it. How do I report him? To my school?
    I really don’t want to be around someone who might snap my neck, or someone else’s if he feels “threatened”, or whatever.

  57. Bad_dog | July 3, 2013 at 9:19 am

    Update on my friend… Hi all. I lurk lots but haven’t been posting much. My friend is “ok”. The surgery was really intense and it seemed like he was doing much better before (like a few days after surgery) than he is now. He’s at home but he can barely talk a sentence and can’t walk 5 steps without taking a break. It’s really scary because right after the operation we were chatting and laughing and joking about the weather. And now, the nurse who comes to his house to check on him daily basically said no visitors starting yesterday. It’s super scary. He doesnt want to tell me what she said, but he sounded pretty freaked out. I fly north again tomorrow for two weeks at work and I’m pretty much going crazy… :( I don’t really have anyone to talk to. Sorry to feelings dump here. I don’t have many friends and my coworkers and acquaintances mostly treat my recent quietness, absent mindedness and general sadness as an inconvenience that they are forced to deal with. It’s a very lonely place right now.

    In other news, I’ll reply to the stuff about outdoor dogs. It’s really common here (it that flat wheaty Canadian province) for farms to have “outdoor only” dogs. But farms typically also have other structures like barns and sheds with other animals so I guess it’s not as much outdoor dogs as just not in the human house dogs. And in winter it gets down to the -40’s here.

  58. Dvärghundspossen | July 3, 2013 at 9:31 am

    @Eline: That totally sucks. Internet hugs!

  59. cloudiah | July 3, 2013 at 9:44 am

    @eline & bad_dog, Jedi hugs, if you want them!

    @bad_dog, Did the friend have bypass surgery? Obviously I don’t know what is going on with your friend, but I do know that when my mother got out of the hospital after hers the recovery took a long time. I’m thinking the best for your friend.

  60. Bad_dog | July 3, 2013 at 9:45 am

    cloudia: Ya, multiple bypasses actually…

  61. Dvärghundspossen | July 3, 2013 at 9:56 am

    I’ve just had a meeting with a personal trainer I know who’s gonna make me and Husband an exercise- and muscle-building program we can pursue at home. I used to go to the gym on my own, and Husband used to not exercise at all, but that’s gonna change now!

    I know I’ve mentioned this person before on Manboobz. Zie’s an old body-builder, and zie specializes in coaching trans people. Zie’s said that particularly trans men tend to over-estimate the impact of testosteron treatment… Firstly, if you’ve lived your entire life with very little testosteron, it might not be the case that adding testo as a grown-up gives you a completely masculine look. You might need to do some body-building too in order to really get the body you want. Plus, even without testo, body-building can do quite a lot. Zie’s FAAB herself, nowadays on testo, but long before zie ever began any hormone treatment lots of people would read zir as a man, simply because of zir body-builder muscles.

    I really wanna grow bigger muscles myself… My natural body shape is really thin and feminine, but I don’t like that. It’s not that I think that body shape is ugly, it just doesn’t feel like me. I’ve grown somewhat more muscular and androgynous from going regularly to the gym for several years, but with some personal coaching I hope I’ll be able to grow bigger still. I wanna have big arms and big shoulders and take up some SPACE goddammit!

  62. Shadow | July 3, 2013 at 10:12 am

    Hugs all around, both sympathetic and congratulatory. I’d also like to join the FUCK CANCER club.

  63. eline | July 3, 2013 at 10:37 am

    Hugs welcomed, thank you guys (regardless of gender). My sympathies to those struggling with cancer, as well. A few weeks ago I did tell my doctor (while she was sitting at the foot my bed, like a good doctor would with a patient stuck on her ward for months in one go and while I had the most godawful headaches from a spinal catheter leaking spinal fluids combined with meningitis and no painkiller takes away that pain due to how it is caused) I wish I had cancer instead of a chronic disease that makes my life as miserable as cancer but lets me live to a ripe old age with medical assistance, which naturally also cause additional misery, because at least with cancer the misery ends and the palliative care is so much better for cancer patients (in my doctor’s words, “because it doesn’t matter how much the painkillers mess up their bodies in the long term”). I don’t think that way under normal circumstances, of course. But perhaps this confession of momentary envy will lighten the day of a fellow patient (cancer or otherwise) with a morbid sense if humour like mine. Illnesses are not fun but can be a source of jokes. It’s how I make through the day at least!

  64. misery | July 3, 2013 at 10:48 am

    @auggziliary Haha, I couldn’t wait for advice so I just asked her out. She rejected me though, so maybe I should have been patient. :)

    Honestly, I normally discuss my dating life on a gaming website. It’s not as awful as it sounds, the people there are generally quite mature and there is a strict moderation policy, but nevertheless there are still a few people peddling MRA/PUA-type advice. I felt like prolonged exposure to their thinking poisoned my brain, since I read it’s usually not enough to reject ideas you disagree with if you don’t have a counter narrative in place. So if you are only exposed to one type of thinking despite not agreeing you will still let it inform your decisions. (framing and all)

  65. reginaldgriswold | July 3, 2013 at 11:07 am

    Dvårg: That’s super cool! I find home exercise really makes me more likely to actually do it. Gyms are my rare treat during work travel.

    eline: Hugs. i wish I had something better to say.

    If any of you are going to the Texas Statehouse Tuesday for the vote, I’m out of town at a computer science thing, but I’ve ordered components and am wiring up a solar charge station/wifi gateway and will be sending it with a friend. David has my contact info, and I can get you in touch with whoever has the base station if you need a charge/want some company. Whatever protests happen, we can expect media blackouts, wi-fi cutoffs and electrical outlet shut downs. It’s important to be prepared.

  66. hellkell | July 3, 2013 at 12:08 pm

    Me and a co-worker are going to try to get to the Statehouse Tuesday. We wanted to go this week, but pesky fucking work got in the way.

    Hopefully it’ll still be good protesting weather on Tuesday!

  67. leftwingfox | July 3, 2013 at 12:21 pm

    It’s official, the Studio Killers album has eaten my brain.

  68. Argenti Aertheri | July 3, 2013 at 12:41 pm

    First, hugs to everyone who wants/needs one!

    Second…

    “Hi argenti, in terms of terminations post 22 weeks, the figure for the us is 1.3%. So not a huge heap of women going “whoops my bra don’t fit, think I’ll terminate” snark.”

    I’d meant all total, probably should’ve been clearer. Because yeah, the vast majority are within weeks of the first missed period, but there is a good sized chunk of people who can get pregnant who have // will have had an abortion in that period.

    Third — barn dogs seem like they aren’t stuck out in all weather. Idk about barn dogs, probably not, but I know barn cats who are nearly feral and would have nothing to do with coming into a building full of people — but are perfectly happy to sleep with cows.

    I also know a metric shit ton of barn kittens who the owners of that farm will give away, if you’re in the Delhi, NY area and want a kitten, they have multiple litters every summer (not intentionally, everyone in the area of that farm knows she’ll take in cats, so she gets lots of them arriving in her door barn step — isolates and vaccinates them and then does the “kitty likes you, you want kitty? Take kitty!” Attempts to home them)

    Their dog lives in the house though, usually. In part because the coyotes go after the chickens more than the cows (duh) and the coop is next to the house. So yeah, I get it about farms having working dogs who stay with the animals, and totally consider a barn/stable to be shelter from weather.

  69. Amnesia | July 3, 2013 at 12:44 pm

    To anybody going to the Texas Statehouse to protest the bill, best of luck! All I can do is send jedi hugs of good karma, but I’ve been told my good karma hugs are very potent. Hope it helps!

  70. cloudiah | July 3, 2013 at 12:47 pm

    Oh, guffaw-ferrets, where is this horse? (I’m in California.) I only know one horse person, but I’d be willing to email her to see if she knows anyone, etc. If that seems pursuing, email me at my nym on gmail.

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