Heartiste: Men need to be able to hit their mates in order to “retain” them
A better way to retain your mate: Be a sharp-dressed man.
You may know Heartiste as a reactionary, misogynistic, proudly racist dispenser of manipulative, sometimes abusive dating advice to would-be “alpha males.”
Did you also know that he was an open advocate of domestic violence against women?
Well, I didn’t, until a friend pointed out a strange little exchange on his Twitter account the other day.
Last Tuesday morning, apropos of nothing in particular, Heartiste made the following pronouncement:
When someone asked what sort of threats he meant, he elaborated:
The latter three items on the list (“Abandonment. Shame. Ostracism”) are standard techniques in Heartiste’s dating strategy, but the open advocacy of violence is, I think, new.
In addition to being repugnant, Heartiste’s argument here doesn’t even particularly make sense. Essentially, he seems to be saying that men need to be able to hit women to keep them in line so that they won’t have to … hit women to keep them in line.
Also, the phrase “mate retention strategy,” apparently popular with Evo Psych types, gives me the creeps. I’m pretty sure the best “mate retention strategy” is to be the sort of person your “mate” wants to be in a relationship with.
I did a quick search for the phrase, and found numerous references to two academic studies. One suggested that some women fake orgasms as a “mate retention strategy.” Another possibly more revealing one claimed that men of “low mate value” often insult their mates to lower their self-esteem so they won’t feel confident enough to leave. That seems more or less in line with what Heartiste’s general approach. And certainly, by any reasonable definition of the term, Heartiste and his followers are some pretty “low value” people, both as “mates” and as decent human beings generally.
I also found this reference to research by Evo Psych big daddy David Buss suggesting that violence — surprise! — isn’t actually a particularly effective “mate retention strategy.”
Also, beating up your mate is, you know, just generally a pretty shitty thing to do.
If Heartiste takes his tweets down, I’ve got screenshots.
EDITED TO ADD: Heartiste has really been going wild with the Twitter lately.
Here he claims to have invented the term “hivemind.”
After I pointed out that this belief was delusional, he suggested that I kill myself. Very alpha!
He’s also been on a bit of a racist rampage, posting lots of stuff like this:
See also here, here, here, here, and here.
Phrasing your racism in pseudoscientific terms doesn’t make it right, dude. It just makes you a pretentious racist.
Posted on June 24, 2013, in advocacy of violence, alpha males, creepy, domestic violence, douchebaggery, evo psych fairy tales, grandiosity, heartiste, men who should not ever be with women ever, misogyny, PUA, racism and tagged domestic violence, heartiste, misogyny, pick-up artists, pickup artists, PUA. Bookmark the permalink. 801 Comments.
@sittiekitty
*Is impressed* such neat lines. Cute, too :)
@kittehs
Can’t tell how neat they are (so many!) but that is a nice picture :)
And, I cannot resist the urge to art share when everyone else is doing it, so here are my sketchies: http://i.imgur.com/gveDhvy.jpg (remember, I am messy! XD)
LBT, have you read the Invisibles? It’s weird that several people including herself refer to Fanny as a “transvestite” when she and others also make it very clear that she’s a woman, not a man in women’s clothing. I haven’t been able to find out whether it’s the author who doesn’t know the difference or whether terminology was actually different in the nineties, when the comic was written…
HOWEVER she’s a super kick-ass heroine. Which I thought was cool. She doesn’t have to be a victim or anything just because she’s trans (or I mean, she does get into tough spots from time to time, naturally, but she’s not victimized in that special minority way). Okay, it’s obviously not my place to judge what’s a good representation of trans people or not since I’m fairly cis, but I just thought on reading that comic book that it was cool and refreshing to have a kick-ass trans heroine.
pecunium, me too! but mine tends to happen after the painting has been completed by people and ruins the paint job because I can’t stand plain walls and I like to ruin them with murals.
Those are great Marie. I have a really difficult time with dynamic poses, you did a really good job.
*is distinctly ignoring Heartiste and his shittiness*
RE: Dvarghundspossen
I haven’t read the Invisibles, but I think I recall Fanny. IIRC, the creators just did not do the research, which is sadly common. You get a lot of sloppy creators just going, “Ah what the hell, drag, trans, cross-dressing, it’s all the same really,” and kludging it all together without really bothering to learn otherwise.
Reading… her arc is called She Man? REALLY? They do all the work to come up with an interesting back story for this woman, and they have to call her arc THAT?
Fuck LBT, it was a while since I read the comic, I totally forgot that! Yeah, that was really bad. Especially since there’s a point in the comic where she’s having a conversation with another character, who used to be a real transphobe but is just getting over it. He goes “But… since you’re a boy who wants to become a girl, why don’t you just have the operation?”. She then points out that she’s NOT “a boy who wants to become a girl”, she IS a girl. Considering that… pretty fucked-up title.
@SittieKitty
Aww, thanks :D ::blushes::
Marie, those are great! I particularly like the one at top left. Like SittieKitty said, you do good dynamic poses.
RE: Dvarghundspossen
See, that’s the kind of thing I’m talking about. Even the well-intentioned will throw in just complete awful things like that, and ‘she male’ is about the most offensive thing you can call a trans woman in English. See why I tend to just stick with trans people’s work?
See your point, LBT: :-)
I don’t have anything like a sketch handy, but this is one I did for class years ago (and need to rehang, thing’s currently covering my laundry basket!)
Uh, potentially NSFW, naked mannequins.
Hey, nice colour work, Argenti!
@kittehs
Thanks :D
@Argenti Aertheri
That really nice, I like your lighting/ shading thing. :D (coloring? I bad at words)
Thanks guys! It was for class, so we had all the big art class spotlights to make the shadows and highlights as dark/light as possible. And it’s still one of my favorites :)
Marie — you’ve totally got me beat for people doing stuff. I’m horrible at anything not a still life (or landscape, but same thing really)
Beautiful Argenti!
I’m trying to recall if I have any pics of people doing things and all I can come up with are 1) Vlad Tepes decapitating an enemy and 2) totally NSFW stuff. :P
In lieu of which, I’ll just show one of my favourite pencil ones, never to be inked.
That’s fantastic Kitteh, I love the expression! There’s a real sense of movement.
This is turning into one of our funnest threads.
@Argenti Aertheri
It’s a shame we can’t combine our skills. XD I fail drawing most object, besides ‘chair-ish item’ or ‘couch like’ thing. People* have anatomy and muscles. They I can understand. It’s everything else I can’t XD
*And animals, but animals are easier for me to draw once I open an anatomy book. I got Fade a comparative anatomy book for christmas, and she lets me use it some times, it’s super awesome.
/rambling about art.
@kittehs
Like his hair especially :D
SittieKitty, Marie, thank you! :)
“I fail drawing most object, besides ‘chair-ish item’ or ‘couch like’ thing.”
I hope they’re hard chairs.
Hard chairs are certainly easier, no wrinkly cushions (of misandry).
Wait…hard chairs are misandry. Throw pillows are misandry…
What’s one supposed to sit on?
“What’s one supposed to sit on?”
This!
@kittehs
O don’t worry, they are! XD (Mostly from my lack of ability to draw many cushions, but lets pretend it’s intentional. I get more Evul Feminist points that way.)
When I drew cushions I just went for the “it’s already squashed out of shape” option. :P
I’m kind of lurking for this conversation, but I just wanted to add that I am loving looking at everyone’s art. And kitteh, you have incredible pencil skills. XD And Argenti, I am totally jealous of your paint skills (I would like to be able to traditional paint, but right now what I do is mostly color w/ tablet)
Fade — thanks, that’s charcoal and chalk on that purple-ish paper though :)
And I kinda love my tablet too, undo button ftw!
Haha, sorry. no idea why I thought it was paint. XD
I thought it was paint too!
Fade, thank you. Those skills are pretty rusty, I haven’t bothered drawing in years. I so love being able to do portraits in PhotoStudio that drawing just doesn’t compare, not for what I want to depict.
… comes back to complete thought, as usual:
I mean, it’s not a drive to draw, or paint, for me: it’s the drive to depict the subject. I haven’t the drawing or painting skills to do it as I want, to show anything like what I see. I haven’t the knowledge of anatomy or the skills to show something like this, for example. (Mildly NSFW: man sitting in bath.) Manipulating photos has its own limitations but it’s so. much. better. for what I want to do. When they work, they’re pictures I can just stare at, and that wasn’t really the case with my drawings, pleased though I was with many of them.
Talent, you guys has it!
Awww! :)
Our kitties are staring at each other again, Double awww!
We’d better be careful. Double the kitty power is dangerous. Don’t cross the
streamsstares!The only time a woman needs to be hit by a man is when she being extremely disrespectful, violent, breaking his material posessions, or asking to be hit in order to prove to her that he isn’t a punk.
If you as a man have to hit a woman in order to retain her, then you need to toss her aside for a real woman.
@Greg
I’m curious, what is a “real woman” according to you.
MRAbot comment on every thread, not make sense in any of them. MRAbot broken, needs firmware upgrade.
@Greg
You know what? Don’t answer, I think I don’t want to know after all.
I dunno Cassandra, that sounds like a pretty good approximation of MRA behavior to me.
Nooope.
Potentially.
Nope nope nope you DV apologist.
Is she literally asking to be hit, or “asking to be hit” as in her abuser is claiming that something about her behaviour is subtly indicating to him that she wants to be hit? If it is the latter, noooooooooope, and also congratulations, you’ve given abusers a get-out-of-jail-free card that works in EVERY INSTANCE you despicable asshole.
A real woman doesn’t think that a man is soft or a punk, because he doesn’t smack her. She doesn’t act like a psycho towards him in order to get him to hit her.
Yeah, Greg seems to be your garden variety MRA. A malfunctioning MRAbot would make for an amusing short story though.
A much less wordy way to put what Greg is saying is “the only time a woman needs to be hit by a man is when that man wants to hit that woman.”
By “act like a psycho” Greg undoubtedly means “express opinions at variance with a man’s”.
Blech.
MRAbot now arguing with imaginary commenters, firmware upgrade seems to have been a success.
Some crazy women ask to be hit.
That song is surprisingly catchy.
The little ball of hate seems to have burned himself out for now, yay.
Her behavior. No, I am not talking about a disagreement. I’m talking about a woman who gets in a man’s face and starts demoralizing him just for the hell of it. I have never put hands on a woman, but I have had lady friends of mine beat the mess out of women who disrespected me in front of them.
So, her behavior then.
As Viscaria said, you’ve given every abuser a get out of jail free card here. The abuser just needs to say “well she was disrespecting me” and all of the sudden they’re in the clear by your bullshit standards.
Greg, honey, are you under the impression that anyone here cares what you think? You poor deluded child.
Oops, I red that as “Her behavior, no.” not “Her behavior. No, [...]”
Main point still stands.
Because I missed the rest of the art share with my hit&run commenting style, here’s a few of my pieces and their uncreative titles.
Drunk in Charcoal
Cave Dwellers in Chalk Pastel
Girl in Bay Window in Pencil
Belmont in Oil Paint
Feast your eyes on my interpretation of ‘Stylistic Messy!’ In multiple mediums, no less!
Ah, damn, normally I’m so careful about links. Excuse me while I go do penance to the HTML goddesses and gods.
Based on the logic of the posters here, women can do nothing wrong, and everything is the man’s fault.
Have fun with your house or apartment full of cats, or being tossed in the never ending friend’s zone.
You people will be single for life.
Best of luck.
My boyfriend is allergic to cats, sorry Greg, you’re wrong.
1/10, flounce made me feel vaguely sorry for the troll. It must suck to be that stupid.
@Greg: The logic here is that you should not be hitting another person (man or woman) unless they are physically attacking you or it is part of safe, mutually consensual play.
Oh the horror of horrors! To be doomed to a life with cats and friends, how could someone ever live a life like that!?
I have a feeling that Greg has made a tactical error in suggesting that women can be friendzoned. He better hope that no incels notice that he said that.
No Greg. That is just what you want women to believe so they will put up with men like you.
Greg, if a man hits a woman(outside self defense, and it has to be reasonable. Like if she slaps him and he cannot walk away, then whatever gets her to stop is OK. However any further is wrong, like beating her, since that’s clearly not self defense). , then yes, it was his fault.
I don’t understand your logic. You accuse us of making women into angels and men into demons, yet you are excusing male a users simply because she was provoking him. Calling out how wrong that is doesn’t mean we hate men, and think women can never be wrong. That’s complete bullshit and you know it.
It just means that we know men aren’t beasts who have to hit people when they “get in his face”, and that women should not have to fear being beaten for not taking every measure to protect a man’s tender fee-fees.
Also, if I have other, non-feline pets is that still a terrible/lonely/sad/whatever thing? Are chickens okay? What about lizards? Tarantulas?
Also, I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. We talk about feminism quite a bit, and we are happy together.
I’m a hell of a lot less lonely than freaks like you, who whine about how they don’t have a super submissive girlfriend, and how they never get laid because women are sluts who want alpha males.
You are an abuse apologist, and no woman loves that. Have fun never finding a satisfying relationship because you cannot find your “real woman”. The closest thing you’ll get to one is a blow doll.
Some day I would like to have a malamute. I presume that, much like jobs, this would mean that I would be stealing the dog from a more deserving man.
Some women and men need to get a beatdown in order to stop doing stupid crap. Calling the cops don’t work, walking away doesn’t work, and ignoring the BS doesn’t. All environments aren’t alike. Walking away from a hoodrat in the hood will get you shot in the back, stabbed, or robbed later on down the road. In some sitiations, you have to beat someone down in order to show that you mean business.
Outside of the hood is totally differently. I have lived in both worlds. I never had to put hands on woman, and I use to get bullied by hoodrats, because I wouldn’t them back.
If a woman slaps me, and I didn’t instigate being hit, I’m knocking her out. I don’t care what anyone thinks.
Those goalposts heavy, Greg?
I guess my spouse of 16 years and two beautiful, smart children are not real, because I am a feminist.
Good to know!
I do own four mice now! (no cats, spouse is allergic)
Salt(one of my original two) Melody, Harmony, and Treble Clef.
I am glad no one is actually dating Greg Wright, because beating people is wrong.
Oh noes! I’ll never be with a guy who thinks it’s okay to beat me up when I ‘demoralize’ him! I’ll have to live alone with my adorably fluffy and friendly cat forever, only getting human interaction when I go to work, visit my family/friends, or go out in public on my own terms! The horror!
@AUG
I have been married for 10 years. I’m not an abuser apologist. I support self defense. Don’t start none, and there won’t be none.
If I got in a 6’7 350 pound biker’s face, and got my face slammed, I would be at fault.
I’m posting from my phone, so don’t bother me about grammar or spelling.