Alpha Dogging it with the Red Pill Subreddit
Posted by David Futrelle
So I spent a little time reading through The Red Pill subreddit yesterday and if there’s one thing that Red Pill Redditors aren’t, it’s fucking betas. No fucking way. They’re like the total fucking opposite of betas. And by that I mean they are ALPHA DOGS 4 LIFE.
Case in point: The totally rad insults they use to put the bitches in their place, as collected together in the recent thread “What Is The Most Cutting Insult You Have Said To A Woman Infield?” I mean, even the fact that they HAVE such a thread is totally ALPHA DOG but just listen to this ALPHA DOG shit they totally really say to women in real life totally for real:
That’s right! Emphasis totally his! In your face, old bitch!
I mean, that’s up there with Oscar Wilde’s famous line “shut up, bitch, I’m like Oscar Wilde and shit.”
Oh, but wait here’s another one:
Get it? Because she was dressed like WONDER WOMAN, but WONDER BREAD is a kind of FOOD. And if you were to eat a comically large amount of food — say, an entire factory’s worth of it — you would probably get very very FAT.
So by saying this he was implying that she was FAT.
So funny! And ALPHA as FUCK, if you’ll excuse my use of sentence enhancers for a moment. NOT THAT I NEED TO ASK YOUR PERMISSION TO SENTENCE ENHANCE. HOO-AH! DO YOU EVEN LIFT?
Hell, the Red Pillers are so ALPHA AS FUCK that some of them literally face down terrorists during their day job in law enforcement, then fuck their female partners that very night, then go to the RedPill subreddit to ask the assembled ALPHA AS FUCK Redditors for some romantic advice just in case they’re acting maybe a little too much like a beta with oneitis, even after that whole staring down terrorists thing.
You might need to read that whole thread to see just how totally ALPHA AS FUCK it is. And obviously there’s no chance whatsoever that DoneWithBeta is making any of it up, I mean, who would do that, just go on the internet and make things up? That is so totally not alpha, why would anyone associated with the Red Pill subreddit do such a thing?
Oh, wait, it turns out that the post might just have been a little bit of an internet joke, and that DoneWithBeta’s story might just have been borrowed a teensy bit from the 2010 action comedy MacGruber. Apparently, none of the regulars in the Red Pill subreddit are beta enough to actually go to movies, because none of them noticed. But, hey, they did give the guy some totally ALPHA DOG ADVICE, which would have worked out awesome if the story had been real and the Red Pill mods hadn’t pussied out and deleted the thread (which is still there to read, even if it’s not visible on the subreddit any more).
Also there was a whole other fake relationship advice thread based on the plot of Othello that the Red Pillers thought was totes real but that’s because ALPHA DOGS DON’T READ SHAKESPEARE.
Need I remind you that FEMINISM IS DOOMED and that we’re going to RIDE THIS BITCH TO THE BOTTOM?
Thanks to all those sniveling beta manginas and bitches in the Blue Pill subreddit for pointing me to some of this amazing ALPHA DOG shit.
About David FutrelleI run the blog We Hunted the Mammoth, which tracks (and mocks) online misogyny. My writing has appeared in a wide variety of places, including Salon, Time.com, the Washington Post, the New York Times Book Review and Money magazine. I like cats.
Posted on May 19, 2013, in alpha males, antifeminism, are these guys 12 years old?, beta males, douchebaggery, evil fat fatties, gullibility, lying liars, men invented everything, men who should not ever be with women ever, misogyny, MRA, only men pay taxes apparently, playing the victim, PUA, red pill, reddit, shit that never happened and tagged alpha males, antifeminism, beta males, misogyny, PUA, reddit, the red pill. Bookmark the permalink. 144 Comments.