The Myth of Warren Farrell: Farrell on Rape, Part One
No book has had more influence over the Men’s Rights movement than Warren Farrell’s The Myth of Male Power. Published in 1993, in the heyday of the early 90s antifeminist backlash, it set the agenda for the Men’s Rights movement as it’s developed over the last two decades. He’s the one who came up with the notions of “male disposability” and the “death professions.” He’s the one who got MRAs fixated on the issue of draft registration.
Indeed, so pervasive has his influence been that if you see an MRA making a dumb argument anywhere on the Internet, the chances are probably more than 50-50 that it originated in the pages of Farrell’s book. Despite its age, and its eccentricity, The Myth of Male Power is still the first book recommended to MRA newbies in the sidebar of the Men’s Rights subreddit, the most active MRA hangout online.
It’s a book that deserves a lot more attention than I have been giving it on this blog. Sure, I’ve written about Farrell’s strange and creepy notions about incest, as set forth in a notorious interview in Penthouse in the 1970s, and about his recent attempts to explain away these views. But I haven’t devoted any blog posts to his most influential work. I intend to rectify that now, with a series of posts on some of Farrell’s chief arguments and assertions.
I will start with several posts on Farrell’s views on rape, which has been the subject of much controversy of late. This part will deal with his general statements on rape and sexuality; another will explore in more detail his views on date rape (did he really describe it as “exciting?”); and still another will look at the vast assortment of things he has inappropriately compared to rape.
Pinning down what Farrell “really believes” about rape – and indeed, about almost anything– is difficult. Farrell’s arguments, such as they are, are slippery and evasive. Instead of setting forth a clear argument about rape, Farrell instead provides us with a series of jumbled metaphors and strange comparisons. Instead of trying to summarize them – many of them defy summary — let’s just go through them one by one.
Farrell supporters will likely suggest that these quotes are taken “out of context,” to which I can only say: Check his book to see for yourself. None of his troubling quotes are any less troubling, or for that matter any clearer, in context, and many don’t have much of a context. Farrell writes in a rambling, free-associational style, and many of the “arguments” he makes in the following quotes seem to come from out of the blue, and are never developed further (though some, as you will see, are referenced again in later quotes).
Page numbers given are from the 1993 hardcover edition of The Myth of Male Power.
All that out of the way, let’s jump right in:
Near the start of his book , Farrell sets the tone for what will come by suggesting that men suffer as much sexual trauma from women’s mixed signals as women do from rape:
Feminism has taught women to sue men for sexual harassment or date rape when men initiate with the wrong person or with the wrong timing; no one has taught men to sue women for sexual trauma for saying “yes,” then “no,” then “yes.” … Men [are] still expected to initiate, but now, if they [do] it badly, they could go to jail. (p. 16)
Here, he elaborates on the notion that rape is a matter of bad timing, of “tak[ing] risks too quickly.”
In the past, both sexes were anxious about sex and pregnancy. Now the pill minimizes her anxiety and condoms increase his. Now the pimple faced boy must still risk rejection while also overcoming his own fear of herpes and AIDS and reassuring her there is nothing to fear. He must still do the sexual risk-taking, but now he can be put in jail if he takes risks too quickly or be called a wimp if he doesn’t take them quickly enough . (p. 168)
Here, Farrell falls back on the old “rape is misunderstanding” canard, and somehow manages to compare sexual activity –- from kissing up to and including rape — to eating a bag of potato chips.
It is also possible for a woman to go back to a man’s room, tell him she doesn’t want to have intercourse, mean it, start kissing, have intercourse, and then wish she hadn’t in the morning. How? Kissing is like eating potato chips. Before we know it, we’ve gone further than we said we would. (p. 311)
Here, he seems to seriously suggest that juries could do a better job judging rape cases if they were sexually aroused.
The problem with every judgment of sexual behavior is that it is made by people who aren’t being stimulated as they are making the judgment. A jury that sees a woman in a sterile courtroom, asks her what she wanted, and then assumes that anything else she did was the responsibility of the man is insulting not only the woman but the power of sex. (p. 312)
And then he returns to the potato chip metaphor.
A man being sued after a woman has more sex than intended is like Lay’s being sued after someone has more potato chips than intended. In brief, date rape can be a crime, a misunderstanding, or buyer’s remorse. (p. 312)
Farrell repeatedly tries to absolve men of sexual wrongdoing by suggesting that they are literally intoxicated by female beauty.
Sexually, of course, the sexes aren’t equal. It is exactly a woman’s greater sexual power that often makes a man so fearful of being rejected by her that he buys himself drinks to reduce his fear. In essence, her sexual power often leads to him drinking; his sexual power rarely leads to her drinking. If anything is evidence of her power over him, it is his being expected to spend his money to buy her drinks without her reciprocating. …
It is men – far more than women – whose mental capacities are diminished when they are “under the influence” of a beautiful woman. (p. 320)
But Farrell thinks it’s “sexist” – against men – to put men in jail for “selling sex” to intoxicated women:
As long as society tells men to be the salespersons of sex, it is sexist for society to put only men in jail if they sell well. We don’t put other salespersons in jail for buying clients drinks and successfully transforming a “no” into a “maybe” into a “yes.” If the client makes a choice to drink too much and the “yes” turns out to be a bad decision, it is the client who gets fired, not the salesperson. (p. 321)
We’ve only just begun to scratch the surface of Warren Farrell’s equally daft and disturbing views on sex and rape. Stay tuned.
Posted on May 1, 2013, in all about the menz, antifeminism, block that metaphor, creepy, evil sexy ladies, mansplaining, misandry, misogyny, MRA, oppressed men, rape, rape culture, reddit, sexual harassment, victim blaming, warren farrell and tagged antifeminism, MRA, rape, warren farrell. Bookmark the permalink. 716 Comments.
Um, you can relax, it takes a lot to get banned.
The thing I think people are about* is that there is a much more common narrative in the media that if you get drunk and someone rapes you, it was your fault for getting drunk, than there is the reverse (that all drunk sex is rape). I mean, I’m uncomfortable even talking about this cuz I’ve already mentioned I have zero experience being drunk, but I think most people know what rape is, and rapists and rape apologists work to obfusciate the point.
*think b/c we’re not a hivemind. =P
G’day Spleeny! :)
“who are these women who are inside men?”
I think it’s like man-suits.
It looks like you are missing both logic and citations, Derrick. How do you know that things funciton based on a female audience?
Since there is so much of this female propaganda, it would be very easy to provide us with an example.
Catwoman: you’d have to work a lot harder to get banned.
Derick: What TV are you watching? I’ve got a lot of channels, but I’m not seeing all these feminist shows. Do I need a tinfoil hat for them to come in right?
@Maude
Sorry, after composing my reply I read your story. I don’t think you just understand what i mean. i never said it was the victims fault. sorry if you take it this way. i was raped twice. once when i was sobber and hung out with a guy at a camping space while the rest of the group went to the lake. he pushed me to the ground and i couldn’t get out. another time was at a good friend’s house after we drank moonshine and i blacked out at 6 (passed out not blacked out), i remember getting into bed and falling asleep. i woke up at 2pm with him having sex with me. i consider those situations to be rape. i also consider that if someone doesn’t give consent when drunk they are raped as well
and i understand nobody believing. i never even went to police, my friend already didn’t believe it.i never felt it was my fault but as a neighborhood slut i decided to just stay away from legal system to not get more trouble.
And it has to change. i think we either see the change in a different way ormisunderstand each other? in any case we don’t have to discuss it if you don’t want to.
Howdy Kitteh! :-D
Troll, TV is just TV. Actors playing parts. Has anyone ever died because someone on TV flashed a “snobby” look?
And if you insist TV has some bearing on real life, well, so what? Did some cheerleader somewhere not pay attention to you? She’s not a character in you head, noob, she’s too busy having her own thoughts, doing her own thing, tending to her own hang-ups to stop and ego stroke every stranger who passes by. Christ, you sound like an entitled brat.
Oh, and I’d love to see all the citations about women owning and controlling all media. That sort of information has to be made public, you know. It’s on you to present the citations that prove you’re weak-ass claim.
@Derick Okay, so your answer is “none”.
You are misusing the word “empirically”.
You are still making vague, unsupported claims.
I don’t even know exactly where all this is supposed to be happening – but I’m assuming you mean programmes you watch on television. Your subjective experience of some television shows you remember, which pissed you off because they didn’t conform to your expectation of gender roles… is a shit basis for an argument.
Here’s one of those TV women with her man-denigrating facial expression.
Or maybe it’s telepathy!
… nah, that can’t be right, I get glimpses in Mr K’s head when he’s sharing stuff we did at Home, and I don’t think anyone hates me for it.
Actors having expressions while acting is totally like being spat on! It is killing men! Misandry!!1!!eleventy!!
Ohhhh, look at that kitty’s disdainful mug!
Meh, I’m not in love with this line of reasoning because it gets brought up a lot in response to feminist media criticism. And, in a sense, it boils down to “you aren’t allowed to complain about TV.”
But Farrell thinks it’s “sexist” – against men – to put men in jail for “selling sex” to intoxicated women.
I talked her into it and she said YES your honor………I plead guilty.
Your “logic” sucks kittin boy.
Hey, that blue cat looks just like my Boudica, my Boudica’s beautiful :)
Of course in this context (“why isn’t David talking about it?”), “women on TV are less important than rape” is a legitimate answer. But one could just as well respond “it’s outside the scope of this blog” or simply “David didn’t want to write about it.”
Got anything else to pull out of your ass?
I’m glad you have more.
I’ve experienced female propaganda before. Being told that as a trans* woman I’m really just a man who has no self-respect and has failed in being a “real man” is definitely the doing of a no-good uppity matriarchal oligarchy!
Yup.
glittertextthatsayscitationneeded.gif
I wonder if trolly mctrollerston thinks that the women in the television can see him and are deliberately not smiling at him or taking any notice of him?
Ophelia, do you have a snowshoe? They are beautiful cats.
It is true. Actresses are not supposed to have expressions while acting, because this might convey the erroneous assumption that women have emotions and are people.
Tho I second katz re: not loving “has anyone died b/c tv” because things can happen that aren’t death that are still bad. Not like actresses having snobby looks is bad, or even a thing that exists.
@Aaliyah
Female Propaganda –
Arrogation- Women taking undeserved credit for Men’s work – Zero Dark thirty
Glorification – Women being aggrandized – Big bang theory(Female scientists), Simpsons (Lisa Simpson- Female child Genius) Burn Notice – Fiona Glenanne (Kicks Every Man’s ass)
Denigration (Of men) – 2 Broke girls, Mad Men
Of course, these are just a handful of examples that I presented to explain what ‘Propaganda’ really is.
If I go into details and start naming everything, trust me, I would take days to actually complete that list.
Women Propaganda is EVERYWHERE. Women are deified, Men are belittled, and at the same time, the audience is subconsciously indoctrinated.
This is my first day on this website, so don’t worry, I’ll make sure that I inform everyone about the reality by the time I am done.
ophelia, your Boudica (coolest name!) must be queen of gorgeous if she looks like that kitty. Remind me, is that her in your gravatar?
Oh, and random conversation question since manboobzers always have surprising bastions of knowledge, assuming I’m even using bastion correctly.
Has anyone here self-taught themselves a language? I am not in the position to afford classes by a teacher and am curious about advice…
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
So…am I the only one who feels weird if I pick my nose or fart while using the computer because I feel like the guy on my background is judging me?
BETTY DRAPER HAS A SNOBBY LOOK ON HER FACE THE MEN OF THE WORLD ARE BEING DENIGRATED
Derick, do something with your life besides watch TV, k?
@Aaliyah says : Got anything else to pull out of your ass?
I am trying to be polite. Kindly try to reciprocate. If that is too difficult, at least try not be profane
I wish you would pay as much if not more attention to actually understanding the feminist conception of patriarchy. But nooooooooooope! Gotta inform us about that “misandry” first.
So long as I’m being abusive, I’m ok with being abrasive.
@Katz, sorry, didn’t explain properly.
I meant the other cat in the video not grumpy cat, although he is lovely. The other cat looks just like Boudica, my lovely girl (the cat in my avatar). :)
so long as I’m NOT being abusive. Oops. V_V
…Just vaulted from “terrible troll” to “awesome troll” in that one sentence.
Since we don’t have the “citation needed” gif.
… wait, what’s wrong with female scientists? oooh, three tv shows! I can do better than that.
Men being aggrandized:
James Bond
Tom Cruiseethan hunt (I originally wrote Tom cruise because I consider his character tom cruise since he can’t act)Anything written by Seth McFarlane
That episode in buffy where xander stops the school from exploding.
Mal in Firefly
Okay, I admit, some of these are pulled from my ass, but I bet all of Trolly’s were.
Wow, two tv shows denigrate men, as opposed to like, a gazillion that denigrate women. YOu are some lucky chump.
Also, you have yet to prove how these are being aggrandized or denigrated. You just listed names and expected everyone to have the same tv preferences and opinions as you. Cuz I got no clue what you’re talking about, since I don’t watch half those shows.
You know, I don’t watch much tv, but the last few series I watched were almost completely about men – Sopranos, Breaking Bad, Boardwalk Empire, The Wire, Sons of Anarchy… My family watch Dr Who, something of a glorified male character. Although now I think about it, these shows could be misandrist too because there are some female characters in them.
Derick finds some facts.
@kitteh, yup, my blue girl, Boo to her friends. She’s sitting looking very regal at the moment, she definitely deserves that name :)
And the fact that it can be described as a “common model in some sexual interactions” indicates further than rape culture is alive and well.
Also, manboobzers seem to have their heads on straight. I have an off-topic question. Have any of you ever had so much energy that you’re shaking? Yesterday–and somewhat today–I have been very energetic, and I’ve gotten so much done, and I’ve been in an awesomely good mood. I really like this. But it’s freaking me out a little because if I’m sitting still at all I start to shake because I feel like I need to be moving and I start to get twitchy and shaky. Last night I didn’t go to bed until 3, because I simply didn’t feel the need to. I woke up at 7:30…got out of bed at 8. I certainly am tired, but still have lots of energy and don’t feel like I need to go to bed just yet. (it’s 11:30pm where I am) I don’t know if this is build-up because I’ve been having some depression in the last few months, and now the energy I didn’t have is coming all at once, or what. I also just started (as in Monday) on an increased dose of thyroid meds, so that may be causing it as well. It’s just really weird. I like having energy, but I hate the twitchiness. Any input would be appreciated.
@Fade:
Spanish and English.
(Some German)
What kind of advice are you thinking of?
—
@Derick:
Arrogation! Appropriation! Denigration!
All across the nation!
Indoctrination! Excommunication! Aggravation!
Terrible plans made by people in the dark!
Glorification, annotation, deification
all those women are smug and out to get you
And the faces you see at the back of the tv
are out to get you, I’m sure
The actors and acts, emotions portrayed
Tell you of the danger of being enslaved
So listen to the messages in the static of the screen
and scream about the reality of the things you’ve seen.
The words you say are not what makes you polite. How you say them does. And saying that you’re going to “Make us aware of reality” is condescending, and not polite.
@Derick, I wonder i you just are nitpicking. Sometimes we go for shows/literature that just “prove” what we want to think.
And tbh your examples aren’t even great, TBBT might have female scientists but Sheldon is the genius. Men are far from belittled on television. Aside from some family sitcoms like everyone loves raymond (and even in those cases i dislike the way women are presented. i rather be someone who doesn’t care about the house but about fun and is not nagging while my main occupation is being a housewife) men are portrayed very well.
Hi Alex,
Just recently, my former boss, who has always been an all around douche, but it never affected me (found him entertaining), started spouting off on fb about the “feminist agenda” making divorced fathers go broke and it’s never enough money for his gold digging exes (2 ex wives, 5 resulting kids), blah blah. I got so mad I just unfriended him. If I saw him on the street, I would be genuinely happy to see him, but I don’t want to hear his idiotic blatherings on Facebook. So my advice to you is to just unfriend. But you may have a higher tolerance for this crap than I do.
Yay for sis breaking up with abusive ex!
@archaeoholmes says :@Derick Okay, so your answer is “none”.
You are misusing the word “empirically”.
Kindly look up the word Empirically, then get back at me.
Empirically is something that is verifiable by means of observation. What I said is based on observation.
Fade, what language(s) do you want to learn? I might have some sources.
@Derick:
I’m genuinely curious. What sent you down this path? Was there a particular event, or someone you spoke to? Seriously, I’m trying to figure out how someone gets to this place in their life where they think that half the population is out to get them. Seeing as you’ve made it your goal to educate, please… educate me. Just on this point though – don’t see it as an invitation to outline your whole manifesto (I’ve actually got work to do this afternoon).
@Canuck with pluck
I am so envious, today I had the opposite problem. But I do have some real intense restlessness and twitchiness when my depression is fluctuating and I have to move to calm myself down, so it may be a depression thingie? Idk. I want to make it very, very clear that I am not a doctor.
No, but I’ve taught myself all kinds of things, and I think it can be done. The most important thing when learning anything is practice, so maybe learn with someone else and agree to spend a certain number of hours a week or month speaking the language with them? I remember when my dad was learning Spanish when I was a kid, and he’d just speak Spanish to us whenever he could. It was pretty hilarious, and he learned it pretty well. (He spoke French, German, and Latin though so he picked up the Spanish really easily.)
I want to learn French. I really only need tourist French. I just need to get started sometime…
Derick: fuck off.
Ermagerd actual data
(That one isn’t a gif, it’s…actual data)
@Derick I am just now wondering whether “empirical” applies when you are observing things that aren’t really there.
@Serrana: I know a girl in Germany who taught herself German. She is from Slovakia. We were both au-pairs. Now, she had the benefit of actually living there, but….
@Catwoman
Ok, then I propose this.
You name ANY current show or Movie (Of course, sans hand-picking conveniently) that comes to your mind, and I’ll name the manner in which the Females are exalted in the same.
Deal?
Oh shit, I hope he isn’t.
::looks worriedly behind screen to see if a miniature Mr K is hiding there::
Basically have you got any drills that can help you make conversation? Or work in your head sentences in… co
let me start over.
Okay, like any drills that can help you speed up your talking/ recollection of words so you could actually conversate. Right now I have a decent sized vocabulary, but I am looking for excersizes that could stimulate conversation, but you know, without needing anyone to talk to.
Got anyone except yourself and your confirmation bias goggles who’s observed this?
I am trying to teach myself greek*, though if you got any resources for japanese that’d be handy cuz my sister has expressed intrest in that and I could send her the links.
*language of my foreparents. XD
Twelve Angry Men.
@Derick:
Lesbian Vampire Hunters.
Go.
Fade, I’m afraid I have no sources for Greek, but this is a fabulous site for learning Japanese.
Is Derick saying random shit just to get a rise out of us? He’s just so… obvious. Women who are scientists on a show centred around men who are scientists is misandry? That feels like bait, is what that feels like.
Maybe if we refuse to play with derricks massively derailing self, he’ll go away.
Lol, could you guys speak it? Or was this like a one-sided thingie.
Sometimes I say random stuff in greek to my family, but then my sisters like “Omg, you’re trying to confuse me XD*”
*she’s decent at spanish, but if we’re doing spanish and I say something in greek she’ll think I just used a work she didn’t know or was talking to fast for her to understand.
@Derrick
I name Goldfinger (james bond)
Nope, never said you shouldn’t analyze pop culture. I used to do it for a living. Sometimes people writing the scripts are projecting their own biases into characters and plots. Sometimes real life sexists use pop culture to reinforce their notions of reality.
Troll:
“Arrogation- Women taking undeserved credit for Men’s work – Zero Dark thirty”
Wow. Do you mean the director, Kathryn Bigelow didn’t actually direct the film? Or the female operatives who analyzed the operation in real life didn’t really exist?
“Glorification – Women being aggrandized – Big bang theory(Female scientists), Simpsons (Lisa Simpson- Female child Genius) Burn Notice – Fiona Glenanne (Kicks Every Man’s ass)”
So, whenever a woman does something cool on TV, it’s misandry? OK. Check. *eyeroll* I hope you’re a preteen, man.
“Denigration (Of men) – 2 Broke girls, Mad Men”
Sometime depicting men behaving badly is misandry?
“If I go into details and start naming everything, trust me, I would take days ”
Uh-huh.
“Women Propaganda is EVERYWHERE. Women are deified, Men are belittled, and at the same time, the audience is subconsciously indoctrinated.”
I dunno, I see a lot of women being murdered brutally on “The Killing,” “The Following,” and “Hannibal.” Not too mention raped (Bate Hotel), and exploited (Game of Thrones).
K I gotta go pick up Doad, but please pulp the troll thoroughly for me. I leave you with my quantitative analysis of gender in films of the 2000s and this gif in case you need them.
Derrick: Full Metal Jacket. Go.
Sorry, shouldn’t feed it, but this I gotta see.
sure Derick.
I just watched Olympus has fallen. my favorite movies are burn after reading and hangoverAnd my favorite current shows are breaking bad, curb your enthusiasm, its always sunny in Philadelphia, south park. i am all curious
I’m totally calling sock on this one. Heard this too often.
I was thinking Mr 90% but “females” has me thinking Pell.
Hey moron, want to tell me how the women in Lillyhammer (all two of the supporting cast) are glorified over the men who take up almost all the screen time?
>>>Feminists practically own the American Media.
Rupert Murdoch is a feminist?
@hellkell- Derick: fuck off.
If you are a Woman, I’ll let this slide this time, since I am aware that women are irrational and overly emotional and don’t take logic that well.
If you repeat it, I shall be forced to reciprocate
If you are a Man, then you must be a Mangina, in which case, have the balls to prove me wrong, you women-worshipping cunt.
Reservoir Dogs.
Fade, it was one-sided, but I learned a bit too! Now I wish there had been Spanish classes available for 8-year-olds and I might have learned it for real.
@Derrick,
Army of Darkness, go.
LOL this one’s going into meltdown really quickly.
Hi Pell, how’s Uncle Monty doing these days?