Angry gamer dude: Men need sexy video game babes, because real-world women are fatties
Male gamers suffer terribly when they can’t look at game gals like these, from Gotham City Impostors
The gaming enthusiast known as seanmalstrom seems to be on a personal crusade to challenge the stereotype of men as the “logical sex.” He does this mostly by 1) being a dude and 2) writing things that make no sense at all.
In a recent post on his blog Malstrom’s Articles News – no, that’s really what it’s called – Mr. Malstrom attempts to rebut a piece by John Walker of the gaming site Rock Paper Shotgun that challenged misogyny in the gaming world.
It’s not much of a rebuttal, but Mr. Malstrom makes a couple of, er, “arguments” that grabbed my attention. At one point he suggests that if game developers stop populating their games with sexy lady characters with giant boobs and long legs, American men will have no way to exercise their God-given right to ogle sexy ladies with giant boobs and long legs.
There is a great question I have yet to hear anyone in the Game Industry answer. If women cannot be depicted fantastical (big boobs, long legs, slaughters armies single-handedly) in fantasy entertainment, where can men go to see fantasy women? Women have their fantasy men from endless soap-operas, romance novels, chick flicks, and such. Are men not allowed to have fantasies in entertainment?
True, that is a question I’ve yet to see anyone in the game industry answer, largely because most of the people in the game industry, whatever their flaws, live in the real world, and in the real world images of sexy ladies with big boobs are not exactly difficult to come by.
Mr. Malstrom goes on to argue that men in the English-speaking world have the greatest need for sexy lady video game characters, because the women they run into on a regular basis in the real world are all fatties. In the Cold War era, politicians warned about a “Missile Gap” with the Russians. Today, apparently, we and the Russians have a Fatty Gap.
In Russia, it is stunning to see alcoholic bums of Russian men with model quality looks Russian women. In the same way, in the United States it is stunning to see wealthy, hardworking, handsome American men with an American woman who looks like a Troglodyte. Of course, this is just a generalization. The point is that the typical American male has a better worldwide value if they stop thinking the local obese women around them are ‘the normal’. They aren’t the normal worldwide.
If anyone needs fantasy depictions, it would be English speaking men who don’t have access to the worldwide standard.
Mr. Malstrom is also bothered by the suggestion that video game makers should try to make female characters more interesting. You know, with personalities and motivations of their own, and stuff like that. To Mr. Malstrom, there’s nothing more interesting about a women than her body.
What makes a woman interesting to men?
The truth is that interesting women needs youth, big boobs, long legs, long hair, and an hourglass figure to be interesting to men. The more women go away from this, the less interesting they become to men. This is why women when inevitably age, they become more and more invisible to men. It is just Nature at work. Ironically, for men the older they get, the more interesting they can become to women as their earning potential goes up. This balances out how most young men are invisible to women when they are younger. After the age of 25, men tend to become the more interesting ones compared to a woman of equal age. This is why mothers always advised their daughters to ‘snag him when he and she are both young’.
Indeed, Mr. Malstrom argues, men who insist that women be depicted as sex objects are doing women a giant favor.
And we should only hope that women wish to be depicted as sex objects for that is how they become love objects as well. No man wants to marry a women they aren’t attracted to. Last I checked, marriage rates were plummeting in the West. Perhaps journalists should strive for ‘positive change’ by suggesting to women to be depicted more as sex objects so they can attract a man for marriage before they get too old. That would truly help women and make men happier as well.
Mr. Malstrom concludes with a stirring call for women to stop being such fat fatties.
It IS tasteless for using women as sex objects to sell games. Why? It is because real life women should be sex objects to begin with. If that were the case, putting them on a game cover wouldn’t be selling the game. This used to be the case decades ago. Since obesity in women have skyrocketed and attractive women have diminished, putting attractive women on game covers definitely attracts men more than it should.
It IS sad that women can’t find themselves sensibly portrayed in the games they play. It is not because the women in the games are ‘too attractive’, it is because the women playing them tend to be ‘too fat’. It is sad for women that they are fat. It is also sad for men. What John Walker should do is to advise women to get in shape and try to look like the depictions of women that men are attracted to. This would be ‘positive change’ we could all get behind.
I hate to burst your bubble, Mr. Malstrom, but I don’t think there was any era of history in which women looked like this.
It’s probably just as well, as Lara here doesn’t seem to have eyelids and her head isn’t properly connected to her neck.
Note: Thanks to Tatjna for pointing me to Mr. Malstrom’s post!
Posted on April 10, 2013, in all about the menz, boner rage, evil fat fatties, evo psych fairy tales, imaginary backwards land, imaginary oppression, mansplaining, men who should not ever be with women ever, misogyny, oppressed men, patronizing as heck, playing the victim, video games, western women suck and tagged evolutionary psychology, misogyny, sexism, video games. Bookmark the permalink. 431 Comments.
Why? It is because real life women should be sex objects to begin with.
And that’s a failchop smothered in lame sauce.
Bleargh. The twits just don’t get it, do they?
I will admit that I became ‘more interesting’ to women as I aged, yet curiously, my earning potential hadn’t increased a whit–in fact, it’s technically lower (since as I age, the odds of me moving up to higher positions has decreased). Rather, it’s because I matured enough to pull my head from my own ass and leave all the patriarchal bullshit behind.
I just… I don’t even. This is too funny.
People who argue these things completely miss the point of why people complain about women in gaming in general.
Having sexualized fantasy characters is fine, or it would be if it wasn’t the only/majority representation. That the main issue here; there’s little to no variety.
The tropes games tend to go with also are problematic mostly because of how common they are.
I don’t get why this simple fact is so damn hard to understand.
Variety in representation and respectful handling of controversial issues. That’s apparently too much for these dudebros to comprehend.
Close your eyes, jackass. Or do you have that much of a paucity of imagination?
@Catfish: Yep. No one wants to take away men’s rights to fantasy titties. We just want fantasy titties AND real women to have equal representation.
And yet, women are (obviously) not flinging themselves on this man’s dick. I can’t imagine why!
It takes a special kind of objectification to completely ignore the fact that women may have personalities at all. Even the ‘personality’ he attributes to women is about appearance.
I’m trying to come up with the life experiences that would lead to that conclusion and all I’m coming up with is a human oroboras with the mouth and anus swapped.
… Because Hawkeye and Green Arrow can make all those trick shots only if they stick their tuchuses waaay out there.
THE INTERNET WAS CREATED WHEN HUSTLER AND CAT FANCY GOT TOGETHER AND GAVE AL GORE MONEY, I TELL YOU.
Maybe if he stopped being such a gaping asshole, women would want to be with him.
It’s also a sad, sad state of mind for a person to have if they seriously see no value in a fellow human being beyond their appearance. Even to the point that they find a bunch of pixels more interesting than a living, breathing human with a personality. Especially when he basically admitted that the game character could be as dull as a cardboard slide as long as they have rockin’ tits.
I wonder if this kid had a “misandrist” English teacher, because he can’t write for shit.
Also makes me wonder if he knows any real women at all? Maybe his experiences with women are limited to attempting to converse with a mannequin. That would actually explain a lot.
Is there a constitutional amendment that gives American men the right to “gratuitously oogle some fine-ass titties and legs up like wow without having to consider the humanity of the attached woman” that I missed??? [/snark]
I remember this guy from the 2008 election! He had a giant and insane post about how McCain/Palin would walk to victory. It got picked up by all the usual right-wing outposts. Look it up for a good laugh.
I’m not surprised by the false equivalence, but seriously? The actors on soaps and in movies are actual living humans, not digital spectres created out of biologically impossible fantasy. And even the guys on the covers of romance novels are based on male models. Fabio was an actual person, although the majority of men in the world don’t look like that, he did actually, yanno, exist.
There’s no equivalent fantasy representations of men for women to consume that are the same as the depictions of women in for men in video games. That’s part of the problem. And this kid writing this piece is a perfect example of WHY it’s a problem – utter divorcing of men from reality.
PS – I’m sure the regulars here have seen this already but for the newbies/lurkers, The Hawkeye Project: http://thehawkeyeinitiative.com/
CWS, it is missing 13th Amendment. Yes you think it is the one that outlaws slavery but it actually is the one that said this:
Section One: If any citizen of the United States shall accept, claim, receive or retain, any title of nobility or honour, or shall, without the consent of Congress, accept and retain any present, pension, office or emolument of any kind whatever, from any emperor, king, prince or foreign power, such person shall cease to be a citizen of the United States, and shall be incapable of holding any office of trust or profit under them, or either of them.
Section 2: Any American male has the right to gratuitously oogle some fine-ass titties and legs up like wow without having to consider the humanity of the attached woman.
Section 3: The Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.
Yes it is a generalization because most couples are equal in looks regardless of where they hail from.
This is my new favorite catch phrase, along with “And that’s real.”
Also, princessbonbon, thank you for reminding everyone about the existence of Section 2 of the 13th Amendment. I had totally forgotten about that! :D
LMAO. The sad thing is he’s not a horny 14-year-old, but an actual figure in gaming communities.
Is this guy seriously arguing that women being fat or otherwise not conventionally attractive is a human rights violation?
You are welcomed. And I just saw one of the weirdest anti-ads ever-apparently the Humane Society is fully funding their pensions and THIS IS A BAD THING!!!ELEVENTY! They also are paying for lawyers because they were sued or something. Oh it is Rick Berman…now that makes sense. Jerkhead he is.
He’s also written a response to a feminist who wrote to him:
Well of course there sugar, here you go:
@cloudiah: That is just the opposite of sense O.o It is in fact anti-sense. I sense and anti-sense were in the same paragraph together they’d cancel each other out.
Of course he wants pictures–gotta keep the spank bank full.
I used to read this guy’s blog. His take on why the Wii would be successful (and why Nintendo subsequently dropped the ball) was very much on the mark.
After a while it got kind of boringly ranty, and then one day there was a post that actually referenced the term MGTOW. I thought “well this has gone about as far downhill as I care to follow it” and unsubscribed.
Here’s a picture of me.
Pickle, sounds like he’s an example of the sort of blogger who blogs on a topic juuuust long enough to gain an audience, and then switches to whining about whatever he wants. (I am not being hypocritical here; I’ve whined about whatever I want since day one.)
The more I read from these people the more I’m convinced that they live in a strange parallel dimension. Perhaps one in which a lot of women actually are half-bird. I would be cool with that.
I feel sorry for this extradimensional internet user who can only see attractive women on videogames. If only he had access to our universe’s internet, where he could find images of objectified women in all sorts of movies, commercials, books, and even porn. However, I feel even more sorry for the attractive women who are apparently shunned so they don’t appear in society or are exiled to Russia.
And, of course, we have the fact that this asshat can’t quite grok the notion that not every game is meant to cater to his taste–and, in fact, it’d be a good idea if companies started looking to broaden their appeal generally–because the first game company that does is going to have a huge advantage.
He is right on one thing though…I have found that as I get older, I do become invisible to misogynists who only see me as a sex object. However, I fail to see how this is a problem.
Would I also be more attractive to men if I clipped through walls? How low does my polygon count have to be if I want to snag a Play Station One-era kind of guy? I’m not sure if I can make my elbows sharp enough. :(
I hope he hated Bioshock Infinite. All that damn character development!
I think I need to point this to the Mos Eisley girls if they haven’t already seen it. I would be… amused… by their reaction.
Things I learned today:
1. Jessica Rabbit is a realistic portrayal of women in Russia.
2. Women need to be interesting for this man’s sake.
3. If I can’t kill an army of zombies while looking good in nothing but a bikini, my life is meaningless.(also god forbid I suffered an accidental nip slip while being heroic, that would be the end of it all).
Using your imagination for such things are MISANDRY.
Random, but in the hallway where I work I noticed the perfect place to store the strawmen our trolls toss into their comments. Currently being used to store old nitrate film stock, but I’m sure we can find room for a few strawmen.
@Falconer
I wouldn’t mind having Barton stick out his tuchus where I could see it. /missing the point. Unless we’re talking about the other Hawkeye, of course.
Hmn, are there any other female sharpshooters/archers/snipers in comics/popular media? There’s Riza Hawkeye of Full Metal Alchemist.
*is
I knowledge grammar
I can’t even rant on this properly. How can I rant about a guy who literally thinks that women should be sex objects, literally thinks that his particular notion of attractiveness is universal, and literally thinks that only sex-object women are interesting?
All I can feel is pity…
What happens when he reads a book? Does he get bored and toss it if it doesn’t have a picture of a hot woman, or if any female characters aren’t immediately described as long legged, long haired, etc?
This line got me the most. Most of the time, these rants just imply that they think women are just for sex. This guy outright said it.
Also, I remember back in high school, pretty much every guy who thought any video game character was attractive was thought to be a nerd (and not in the good sense of the word) and a sexual deviant, because they needed to find real girls. So why is it now necessary to find them attractive? I only graduated two years ago.
Also, the only fantasy women are in video games? Hasn’t this guy ever heard of porn?
Well of course Mr Malaprop wouldn’t want women with personalities. That would just emphasise his own lack of one.
Loser dude: go right ahead, wank to those ridiculous images all you like. The further away from real women you are, the bettter. For that matter, the further away from real anyone you are, the better. Stay in the basement, there’s a good lad.
@Lisa – what’s the bet chucklefuck here had (or still has) that fake picture of Palin in a stars and stripes bikini and toting a gun on his wall?
Anyone need a little good news? Click here.
@katz – that’s you? In that picture? OMG did you introduce Seb Vettel to some drop bears after his trick in Malaysia?
;)
@ignotussomnium – “However, I feel even more sorry for the attractive women who are apparently shunned so they don’t appear in society or are exiled to Russia.”
I’m glad I don’t have those sort of looks. I don’t wanna live in Russia.
@TomBcat – “1. Jessica Rabbit is a realistic portrayal of women in Russia.”
Never seen any Russian guys who look like Roger Rabbit, though. Disappointing, really. (Okay I thought he was the ugliest rabbit ever, but hey, if it was him or Putin …)
@Cthulhu’s Intern – perhaps this whole “women should look like game fantasies” garbage is just the guys described as deviants doubling down? Because yeah, this one sure fits the description of nerd-not-in-a-good-way. He’s hardly even creepy; he’s so deep in his fantasy land I can’t imagine him even looking at a real woman. Wonder if he thought Angelina Jolie was too plain and awful to play Lara Croft?
Bet he hates that LC is being given cargo pants instead of hot pants in her new incarnation, heheh. The idea of him with a sadbonerwilt is amusing.
@AK – word up!
I like that I’m finally starting to be approached somewhat less by grimeballs/misogynists/PUAs/worst people ever. In a weird way, I can thank MRAs for helping me enjoy the aging process more. EW. But I don’t really thank them for anything, other than leading to Manboobz.
In sum: according to the manternet/manosphere, being skinny with long legs and disproportionately big breasts means men of all ages have a natural, god-given, human right excuse to stalk and harass me as a minor. Ergo, I am now going to shift some of the blame for why I hated my body so much I had two breast reductions onto MRAs. Is everyone okay with that? (I know I’m steeped in privilege because of my body, but it’s weird and wonky).
There were lots of other reasons, too, and I’m happy I did it, and also really want to support women who feel or ever felt uncomfortable with their breasts being too large, or for any other reason. But it makes me feel better today (a stressful day) to be reductive and blame MRAs rather than huge broad complex social and psychological, yah know, reasonz. And that’s real. (When I was lurking, I started using “and that’s real” in my, you know, real life. Thanks to whoever it was — cloudiah? — originally.
Video game chicks are for dudes who are either unattractive themselves or are too socially incompetent to the point where they can’t get laid in the real world ….says every gamer man I have ever known.
There’s Merida of Brave and Catniss of The Hunger Games.
Well, let this gamer man tell you that what they did to Harley’s costume in Arkham Asylum is an offense to taste and an abomination unto Nuggan.
The guy’s a coward, too. He closed comments on his blog years ago when he got challenged for stating ‘there is no sexism in the game industry’. Because those ‘angry feminists’ calling him out on being clueless upset him so much.
He’s one of those typical misogynist wannabe-intellectuals who can’t fathom that they ever might be wrong about something.
I take it you watched it, then. Did it change your mind about the 2013 season not being interesting without Schumacher?
Seriously, what is their obsession with Russian women? I see this come up over and over again.
@ bahumbugi
I am totally down with blaming the societal acceptance of the idea (supported by people like our new friend in the OP) that big boobs = acceptable target for sexual attention. I never got a breast reduction, but I can understand why some people would. I have to wonder if the fact that female characters in some games are notably baby-faced too (still with big boobs) is going to make that problem even worse for girls who’re caught in that “the puberty fairy arrived early and now men older than my Dad keep asking me for sex even though I’m still in elementary school” trap.
And the odds that he’s accused Anita Sarkeesian of “censoring” people…*checks*
Actually not. But he did claim that detractors wrote “insightful, well-researched critiques of her work.”
@Carley, I believe they see them as pure and unsullied by feminism (read: submissive to men). I think it stems from the mail-order bride stuff–impoverished women trying to get a better standard of living will put up with a lot of shit, and who can blame them?
Basically it’s the same thing as the “submissive Asian woman” BS, except for the kind of racists who actually dislike other races rather than fetishize them.
@Carleyblue
right, there’s some weird image they have about (eastern) European women and their sexuality…
Asian women, too. Not Indians, though. The other kind. Because a little racism gives misogyny just the right flavour. Eastern Europe.It’s a country! And Asia is somewhere in Thailand.
Mawww, I was too late.
There are also a lot of models from Russia and the Ukraine right now (you know these guys think those are the same country), so that’s feeding the fetishization too. Plus, sadly, the fact that so many women from that part of the world are victims of trafficking is also feeding the fetish and the idea that those women are properly submissive, because the kind of men who fetishize women based on their race are horrible, horrible people.
More good news:
http://sportballsreplacedwithcats.tumblr.com
I don’t quite get how human trafficking could possibly equate to submissiveness. I haven’t read anything heading in that direction so far, but now I can imagine it’s somewhere out there in the manosphere. A thought beyond creepy.
This was very not good:
But to go on to explain that in all fairness women should look like anatomically impossible sex objects because women have fantasy men who look like actual human beings is just a very sad.
This is what a life size Barbie would look like. The gamer sex objects are even more extremely impossible. http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504763_162-20055694-10391704.html
They seem to be rather simple minded, so if they see a woman who’s being forced to be compliant by circumstances, they tend to assume that being compliant is her nature. It’s the same logic by which they conclude that women in countries that are poor are naturally submissive.
Well of course. Fantasies are an equal exchange. If I think something is interesting, you get to think something is interesting. You also get to excuse every thought you have by pointing at me and going “But Fibi totally…”. And what’s even better is that you also get to point to examples of one thing and make them equal to the other. Because Lara Croft and soap operas are no different, no Sir.
Because high school never ends.
@TomBcat:
MY BRAIN BURNS. That must not be a thing – that… cannot be a thing. If I deny this one thing as much as possible, will it make it not be an actual thought?
@Fibinachi
I don’t know if it’s a thing, but like Cassandra said, I can imagine some of those guys reasoning away the horror of human trafficking with some statements about women’s natural submissiveness…arghl!
Quick! Take some cute!
ah, dammit!
I can’t.
It’s not rebuttable. Nothing makes sense in this guy’s world.
I suggest he takes the red pill for the good of humanity.
If he doesn’t see how we look, how’s he supposed to know our personality?
/sarcasm,
<blockquoteHmn, are there any other female sharpshooters/archers/snipers in comics/popular media? There’s Riza Hawkeye of Full Metal Alchemist.
ZOMG, fangirl moment! It’s just… she’s my favorite character. ;) In FMA, at least.
I’m trying to think of examples of other sharpshooter women, but I’m coming up blank. That may just be because I haven’t been reading/watching lots of stuff lately, though, because I can only recall one boy sniper atm, too.
^^ And right after I posted I remembered Artemis from Young Justice.
Jess Squirrel :)
It’s actually a pretty common role for female characters, because it allows them to be in combat without really being “in” combat and it plays to womens’ perceived strengths (as being more agile and dextrous than strong).