An Unsolicited Update from Paul Elam’s P*nis
Regular readers of this blog, for better or worse, know one thing that makes “Men’s Human Rights Activist” Paul Elam’s penis happy: The prospect of harassing feminists. He is, after all, the man who wrote of one feminist that “that the idea of fucking your shit up gives me an erection.”
Now Mr. Elam has given us a rather more complete account of what it is that pleases his penis. I’m not sure there was any great demand for this information, but he has chosen to release it, and so here we are.
In a post with the tasteful title “on tits, ass and fucktards,” Elam informs the world that he is in fact a fan of the first two items in this list – that is, tits and ass. He is also, he goes on to explain, a lover of
Sorry, I have to stop for a moment to remind you that you are about to read about things that give Paul Elam — yes THAT Paul Elam — a boner.
I will not think any less of you if you stop reading right here.
If you are ready and willing to continue, here we go:
I like well-formed thighs that lead up to the promise land, and smooth knees above shapely calves. Of course, all that combined with a woman’s pretty face is a crowning glory; full lips that promise supple kisses and great blow jobs, clear eyes and unblemished skin. All this combines to make a woman utterly fuckable, and visually that is what I like most of all. I like to look at women that are little fuckmuffins.
Yes, he actually wrote all that, attached his name to it, and posted it for other people to see.
But as much as Elam likes to look at “little fuckmuffins” he does not actually seem to like most of them very much.
After roughly 150 words devoted mostly to cataloguing his favorite female body parts, Elam evidently runs out of nice things to say about women, and so he returns again to his favorite pastime, devoting the bulk of the post to a rant explaining how much he hates “feminist fucktards,” traditionalist women, and women with Facebook accounts.
While happy enough with “fuckmuffins [who] are sexually liberated and adventurous” and who “like to please and be pleased,” Elam informs the world that he feels no such love for all those awful “fuckmuffins” who “liv[e] life with prudish sticks up their asses made from the same wood that forms the chips on their shoulders.”
He’s also mighty pissed at all those who aren’t interested in hearing him expound at length on what his penis likes.
Of the now almost endless list of things that have grown annoyingly stupid and sanctimonious about feminism is the Victorianesque shaming of my sexual programming as a man. Even with the so called “sex positive” feminists, the most hypocritical assholes of them all, the only positive sexuality they embrace is that of women. To them, male sexuality, in all its glory, is something to be buried, controlled and allowed to surface only when it serves the sexual needs of some narcissistic, horny, self-absorbed little “sex positive” princess.
Unfortunately, more traditional-minded women aren’t much interested in hearing about his penis either. And for some reason they, like feminists, think that there might be some sort of connection between men and rape.
Who are those traditionalists? You will know them by their obsequious silence while feminists shame men for committing the scurrilous act of looking at women sexually. Or better yet, as they join in with their “men can stop rape” bedfellows to twist and distort the natural inclinations of young men with Puritan sexual guilt that marches in lockstep with the feminist hatred of male sexuality.
Elam stops for a moment to reassure his readers that despite all that stuff about “well-formed thighs” and blow-job lips he prefers Good Women to mere “fuckmuffins.”
Now, all that being said, is woman-as-fuckmuffin all I care about? Hardly. As a matter of fact, I would throw fuckmuffin to the curb faster than you can say “patriarchy” to spend time with a woman of good character and intelligence. I have learned in life that my dick has a healthy agenda for humanity, but not necessarily for me. So as my values have matured, so has my taste in women.
Heck, it turns out he actually sort of hates “fuckmuffin.” After all, he tells us,
fuckmuffin … is prone to act indignant when she feels sexualized (by the wrong guy). She can become so angry at being “objectified” that you can see her tits shake right through that tight sweater with the neckline that plunges to the vicinity of her toes.
And then he compares her to a bug:
Time and experience will lead [men] to understand that fuckmuffin should be regarded with same respect as you would afford a stinging insect.
Basically, he explains, the only problem with lustful young men who ogle women is that they haven’t learned to hate women enough quite yet. And so women shouldn’t complain when young guys stare at them. Or when they don’t. As far as I can figure it, he thinks women shouldn’t ever complain about anything.
Leave [young men] the fuck alone. There is nothing wrong with them. Nothing needs to be fixed. If you want to help a young man like that, just start encouraging him to connect the dots between fuckmuffin’s propensity to take her own picture and post it to Facebook four times a day and her ultimate tendency to make him miserable. Eventually he will get the connection. And if he doesn’t, maybe that makes him happy. Either way, it is none of your fucking business.
And so ends what’s probably the strangest work of erotica I think I’ve ever read.
Posted on April 8, 2013, in a voice for men, antifeminism, boner rage, creep-shaming, creepy, evil sexy ladies, facebook makes women all stuck up, incoherent rage, mansplaining, men who should not ever be with women ever, misogyny, MRA, patronizing as heck, paul elam, penises, playing the victim, princesses, self-congratulation, sex, the sound of his own voice, unsolicited penis updates and tagged a voice for men, antifeminism, men's rights, misogyny, MRA. Bookmark the permalink. 723 Comments.
I love the “making my case” nonsense, as if zie were in a court of law. Like any links dropped are going to be something we’ve never seen, and we’ll be all “You’re sooooooo right! Thank you, Raven, for setting us straight”
Not gonna happen.
I wonder if baby misogynists see this place as a sort of debating society/fight club? Come prove your manliness and rhetorical skills against the feminists! Try not to cry too loudly when you leave with your argument in tatters.
If you’re linking to an MRA site to back up your “facts” about female-on-male violence being as common as male-on-female violence, don’t bother. We’ve all seen the “studies” where self-defense gets counted as violence against a male attacker.
It may be fun for you to swap conscending remarks and label me something I’m not, but that doesn’t mean you’ve magically dismantled my points.
I understand the rule of link-dumping now and I’ll watch myself.
Make an actual point and maybe we’ll bother dismantling it. No guarantees, though, unless you get a lot more interesting.
You made an argument, Raven? Sorry, didn’t see it.
@Bagelsan What MRA site did I link? Aside from the “feministsaresexist” link (which I get that the name is repelling, but the person of this tumblr just discusses the shortcomings of feminism instead of pushing all the blame for everything on it) and the ManWomanMyth video (the guy is known to distort a lot of data, but this particular video is more straightforward), I haven’t linked to any.
LOL! I didn’t link to any MRA sites, other than that MRA site that I linked to.
Bored now. This baby MRA is no fun.
Aww, it’s a notably rare exception! Remember notably rare exceptions?
What the hell do you think I meant when I said, “aside from?” Those two sites were the expections to the rule. I have browsed a good number of MRA sites, both popular and obscure, and they more or less do the same thing; believe the best way to achieve activism is take women down a notch and willfully blind themselves to this bias. Feministsaresexist doesn’t do this. She identifies as egalitarian, not MRA.
As for my arguments – they’re pretty straightforward. The breaking point of conflict between us is that you don’t believe men are beaten in relationships as often as women, and that men are, somehow, magically immune to sexism. I disagree and provided links. Have at it.
I know I trust data from people who distort it…
Seconding. Ze’s incredibly tedious.
Might I interest you in a graphic?
People who’re known to lie a lot are totally trustworthy on the rare occasions when it’s not immediately obvious that they’re lying, right? My rock-solid argument, have at it!
I’ve been seeing more and more links to that PermutationOfNinjas site as evidence of a “moderate” MRA.
And on that site I found multiple arguments about when it’s OK to rape someone. Apparently it’s OK to rape someone who is blackout drunk if you found them that way and didn’t use deceit to get them that drunk, because rape is just a consequence of drunkeness. Obviously we should all believe this person’s argument about what is and is not gaslighting.
It’s always funny how they assume that if they link to a single post that’s less objectionable it won’t occur to anyone to check out the rest of the site/blog to get a sense of the owner’s perspective.
Raven, this site is for mocking misogyny, something you might have noticed in the byline as well as the posts put up here. What you want is another site altogether.
As for women who beat their partners…a) some of what got counted as violence against male partner was self defense. B) the study made no differentiation between a woman slapping a man (very wrong and should be dealt with in cases where its the woman initiating violence to the terror of her partner) and a man decking a woman which results in the woman landing in hospital for broken bones.
Hitting is wrong, unless its self defence and hitting somone so hard you break bones is very different from leaving a bruise. Its a matter of severity. You go from simple assault to assault and battery.
In terms of how the victim of such abuse feels, the fears may be just the same and regardless of gender people should have access to help when they need it.
@Fade
There isn’t much statistical data he distorts here. It’s about media representation. He’s compiling clips from film, TV, etc. of examples that are harmful towards men, while saying that constantly reiterating the message “men are primarily abusers” creates a dissonance. Seriously. It’s as simple as that.
Right back at ya. http://siryouarebeingmocked.tumblr.com/image/37261369040
And on the last point on your graphic, what makes you think it suddenly isn’t oppression just because (white, rich, heteronormative) men are calling most of the shots over other, underprivileged men? We accept that women can be misogynistic towards other women.
Reginald: Yeah, I was just about to point out that permutationofninjas is in fact another MRA site that he linked to. From its About page:
Hey, another MRA tumblr! (Note the MRA and MRM tags.) Has Raven linked to any non-MRA sites, other than TVTropes?
“Equal and opposite oppression of men?” How about NO.
“Equal and opposite oppression of men?” How about NO.
Oh come on, we all know that having to pay child support is like being forcibly impregnated and legally required to carry your rapist’s child to term!
Raven,
yes, people are discouraged to step out of their gender role in general, but while a man who acts feminine is seen as weak, a push-over even, women are told they shouldn’t act strong, or even told that they couldn’t be like a man.
The point is, being female is still the worse option.
Also, being male is still the default. Being female is a characteristic on it’s own.
And you talked about so many different points by now, I’m still not sure what you are trying to argue(on a site that doesn’t exist to discuss feminism, but to ridicule people who hate women).
Baglesan, you are so right. My bad.
Baglesan, I thought it was even worse!
Like, killing someones eternal soul or something.
Got a call from the police Saturday morning. They wanted to ask about everything about the night out before, but refused to tell what it was about. They seemed especially interested in the interaction between a friend and a woman aquaintance, if they had kissed and so. Later he called me and said that he was falsely accused of rape and felt destroyed.
I’m confused..
I like how women are a niche market in just about everything except cosmetics, but men are only a niche market when it comes to cosmetics and hygiene.
Oh, talacaris: try harder. Cool story bro.
Well she kissed him! Everyone knows that a kiss means piv sex! What do you mean that people should ask if that’s what the other person wants first?
@pillowinhell
I’m sorry, did you just intentionally avoid this? In” nonreciprocally violent relationships, women were the perpetrators in more than 70% of the cases.” http://ajph.aphapublications.org/doi/abs/10.2105/AJPH.2005.079020
Further info from Prof. Joan Archer, “Sex Differences in Aggression Between Heterosexual Partners: A Meta-Analytic Review, Psychological Bulletin,” Sept. 2000. v. 126, n. 5, p. 651, 664.
Raven, the sad thing is that I’m about to pat you on the back just for linking to something that isn’t a Tumblr.
@TomBcat
Substantsial proof of that?
My main is that men experience sexism (and not just “via patriarchy”). All the other points discussed here (the ridiculous standards of masculinity, underrepresentation of male victims in DV, rape, etc.) are an extension of that.
And although I’m a critic of feminism, it doesn’t mean I don’t believe that misogynists are worthy of ridicule. Are the two always mutually exclusive?
Goddamn, you have the dumb. Do you really think whatever amount of sexism men may or may not experience even comes CLOSE to what your average woman goes through on a daily basis? Pull your head out of your ass, the fresh air will do you good.
I didn’t say they’re exclusive, I wondered to what end you are trying to argue on a website like this. Do you want to change our mind with arguments we heard over and over again, that so far have proven to be wrong every time? Do you know more than all of us, and all these people arguing against us?
And that sexism men face IS via the patriarchy. Jesus.
I blame Fox News for the widespread and idiotic assumption that everything has an equal and opposite counter-argument. Their shitty TV format has warped how people think.
Is that what’s causing it? It drives me up a wall.
@reginaldgriswold
So because this person dares to explore the kinks behind this situation and admits that rape in all its possible forms is more than just a black-and-white issue, they advocate rape? And this position has nothing to do with their view on WATM. You guys repeatedly attempt to silence my arguments with that and “mansplaining” w/o even trying to see me eye-to-eye. That’s gaslighting.
“Well she kissed him! Everyone knows that a kiss means piv sex! What do you mean that people should ask if that’s what the other person wants first?” well the police officer that questioned me seemed think it was important, the question if i had known what the case was about, can you refuse to answer because you consider that irrelevant.
When men “experience sexism” it is because they’re getting a taste of what women experience every day. Are men being called “pussy” for being weak? They’re being compared to women, the ultimate in weak. Are men being told to “man up” and take control? They’re being told not to act like women, who are powerless. Are men disbelieved when they are abused or raped? They’re being disbelieved because men aren’t seen as acceptable targets of violence and rape like women are.
Are men being held to standards of masculinity? They’re being held to the standard of for-gods-sake-don’t-be-like-a-woman! Because women are the worst, the most evil, the most pathetic and cowardly, and the least sympathetic or useful things to be.
That’s misogyny. And it’s thanks to the patriarchy.
Raven: we haven’t gaslighted you, get a clue. Your “arguments” are puny, pathetic, and utterly full of shit. Telling you that is not gaslighting you.
How are you being “silenced” when your shit shows up here? get over yourself.
Talacaris: start making sense or off you fuck.
So because this person dares to explore the kinks behind this situation and admits that rape in all its possible forms is more than just a black-and-white issue, they advocate rape?
Yes.
That’s gaslighting.
No.
This troll is boring and predictable. Ze starts out pretending to give a shit, but eventually the facade peels away.
Why does this fucknut think it’s worth seeing him eye-to-eye? It’s not, Raven, because you are WRONG. Fractally so.
Here, Raven, I found you a citation.
Can we not feed talacaris, please? I think zie needs to go on an attention diet.
Raven, otoh, needs a dictionary.
Talacaris’ latest bid for attention is mighty sad. I’m OK with ignoring.
hellkell: this is a real case, i’m not trolling this time. I’m writing here because I don’t know how to process this.
@RavenSongXia
What. The. Bloody. Hell. Is. Wrong. With. You.
Oh yes, this person is so daring and avant guarde, boldy declaring “hey everyone, you know that thing that some guys do that everyone calls rape? It actually isn’t! Isn’t that a relief?” Ugh.
How dare you suggest that people who’re raped when they’re blackout drunk weren’t simply inviting randoms to participate in their totally consensual kink? Kink-shaming!
“Moderate” is apparently the new “amoral”.
Your point? Seriously, what’s your fucking point? You JUST demonstrated that restrictive gender roles are heteronormative, not just misogynist. No one’s saying that women being lambasted for being tough, outspoken, and refusing to shave is really misandric. Why is the hatred of sensitive, girly men all about misogyny, then?
@katz
What’s even sadder is that that’s the only thing you’re taking away from that study. And I didn’t even bring up male rape and childhood sex abuse victims.
Talacris, I can see where finding out a friend of yours may be a rapist can be upsetting or confusing. We view rapists as monsters, and that’s not something we associate with our friends.
My advice to you is to find a more suitable site or therapy service to help you through that.
Captain Awkward, or a similar online site is better able to help.
@talacaris
If you are serious, I am really sorry.
I can offer you to go to a thread where people are currently not discussing, if you want to talk about it. That way no one has to take part who doesn’t want to.
@Raven
That’s because being manly is not considered negative. Being tough and outspoken are considered valuable traits of a strong personality when applied to men. When a woman is tough and outspoken, they are called “a frigid b****” or “shrill,” which are all negative qualities. Refusing to shave is rooted in the demand by men for women to be attractive to men at all times. Hence, it’s diminishing women, not men.
The key is in the thing. “Girly,” a diminuative of a child describing an adult, is a reduction. It’s rooted in women being considered children, less than a man. Hence, misogynistic.
Not sure how I could explain this clearer.
Actually, people call women “girly” as well as a diminishment… On the other hand, I’ve never heard women being compared to young boys (boyly?) as an insult… Weird.
Maybe you’d call an adult male “childish” as an insult, but that isn’t gendered.
I’ve heard “boyish” as a compliment for men and young women.
I realize I misused “kink” in that previous comment. I didn’t mean “kink” as in sexual preference, but as in “difficulty, something that hinders the progress of.” And @kirbywarp, that post was much more nuanced than that, if you’d even bother to read it.
@hellkell When you all piled on the “what about teh menz?!” even in the face of evidence that men are as disadvantaged as women, you basically said, “Well, look, overlooking these people and their suffering is no big deal. Get a fucking hold of yourself.” And I take personal offense to that, not because you all assume I’m a guy. (I’m not.)
When you all piled on the “what about teh menz?!” even in the face of evidence that men are as disadvantaged as women
*still waiting for evidence*
Oh, so you’re a Special Snowflake chick, good to know.
Men are not AS disadvantaged as women. Get real.
Butch is the go to insult for women who seem too manly, especially for women who don’t have an especially feminine presentation.
Manly in this case being: too intelligent, too analytical, too driven to achieve her goals, too certain she knows her own mind and not accomodating enough towards men or quick enough to accede that men know better.
Look, Raven, it’s super nice for you what a privileged lady you are, but you aren’t actually all women. Women, as a whole, are disadvantaged against men as a whole. Just because you like having doors held for you or whatever doesn’t cancel out rape rates, the pay gap, and the demographics of the entire government.
@Raven:
Mind providing a link then? Reginaldgriswold only mentioned the website. I’m curious to see exactly what nuance you think could exist that would make sex with someone you just find who is blackout drunk anything but rape.
Well, I found this interesting conclusion about the Schroedinger’s Rapist post on that ninja site:
Which, if you actually look at the original post, means that women who don’t respond well to being approached by complete strangers on the street, or when they’re alone in an elevator with a stranger, are irrational lady bigots.
@kirbywarp: Maybe it could be like that guy who thought the unconscious woman he raped was dead. Then it’s totally fine to tap that dead body! /sarcasm
And Rick Santorum said “blah people.”
Unconsciousness, women not wanting to fuck you – such pesky little difficulties, there must be a way to get past them. Oh, wait, I know – rape. Behold the nuance!
Raven, as for rape rates, men are raped at rates comparable to women only when those men are in prison. I’m not sure what the rape rates are for children by gender, so I won’t comment other than to say I would not be shocked to find that the rates are close.
Unfortunately, society has a depressing view of men and sexual appetite which spills over onto boys and young men. And boys and young men often don’t have the means to evade predators. The cultural attitudes arouns sex and rape do need to change, and in some ways (like whether or not boys or men can be raped) moreso than women.
But of course! If we’re not catering to boners every minute of every day, we are misandrist harpies, the lot of us.
Whether you believe me or not, is up to you. Apparently, women being considered “weak” is worse off than men under the pressure of conscription. Before you rebut w/ “the draft ended forty years ago,” I’m talking about worldwide conscription. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Military_service#Countries_with_mandatory_military_service I was born into, and still live in, a country under conscription. At the age of 30, my brothers will have to put their lives on hold b/c of this, and I don’t. Apparently being considered weak is worse than not having your sexual assault/battery taken even less seriously w/ nowhere to turn for help.
My younger brother is gay and identifies as genderqueer, and he gets bullied, threatened, and beaten up b/c of that. My disgustingly dogmatic, religious parents are of no use b/c they’re set in believing he can be “cured.” And the worst part about this? When my brother turned to his feminist friends about his issue, he was bombarded with talk of how his painful experience was being reframed as “misogynist.” If he even spoke out or objected that, he was shunned just as coldly. It is not, and never is, going to be easy to look him in the eye and say that his suffering is going to have to take a backseat against his will.
Yeah, no. First of all, in many prison rape cases, the rapists commit their crimes as a way of establishing dominance over other men – and they do so by trying to engage in forced effeminization. No such dynamic is seen in other rape cases.
Moreover, feminine traits are casted under a negative light in many cases. This can be seen in the fact that work fields coded feminine are seen as less worthy and important than work fields coded masculine (e.g. nursing vs. engineering).
Further, when femme men face bigotry, they are called names like “pussy,” “faggot,” “bitch,” “cunt,” “little girl,” etc. But butch women are far more likely to be called misogynistic names e.g “bitch.” So both butch women and femme men are often called names that are inherently misogynistic. I have never heard a butch woman being insulted by being called a name directly associated with men and masculinity like “dick” or “bastard.”
And most importantly, the reason many butch women face bigotry is that they are seen as trying to gain undeserved power over others. Because only men should be assertive and masculine. The reason femme men face bigotry, however, is that they are seen as lacking in self-respect. Because no man would ever want to be like a woman.
The difference is very clear.
Yep, feminists sure do hate men who’re gay, genderqueer, or otherwise not super straight and macho.