How to Hate and Envy Every Single Person in the World, PUAhate edition
Some guys get all the chicks
The regulars at PUAhate.com – we’ve met them before – are a strange and bitter bunch. Most seem to be self-loathing so-called “incels” who blame their lack of romantic and sexual success on their average or below-average looks. Rejecting the basic premise of the pickup artist crowd – that average guys can transform themselves into suave lotharios by mastering manipulative pickup formulas – the PUAhate regulars tend to be true believers in what they somewhat pretentiously call “looks theory,” the odd and obviously untrue notion that women only date men with “male model” looks.
As one PUAhater put it recently:
PUA makes you think that all your problems are because of your personality/behaviour – i.e. things you can control. So when you keep failing, it means that YOU are fucking up and doing things wrong
the reality is that many of us just lost the genetic lottery. we are ugly, the wrong race, the wrong height etc, and that fucked us up. there is NOTHING we can do about it
So, naturally, the PUAhaters spend a lot of their time jealous of tall, good-looking men for their supposed monopoly on the women of the world — whom they also hate.
But the strange thing is that the PUAhaters pretty much hate everyone else as well. They get angry when guys they consider ugly score “hot chicks.” They get angry when guys who are good-looking but not male models get attention from “really hot girls.” And so on, and so on, and so on.
Indeed, many of the regulars seem to walk around in a perpetual state of rage, angry at each and every man who’s managed to pair up with a woman, not to mention the women as well.
One regular recently described his “day from hell” to his comrades:
To start the day I saw a couple where it was an average White guy with an OBESE Asian girl. They were walking around acting like they were trying to prove shit. LMAO. I wanted to kick the guy in the fucking nuts for dating that landwhale. If you’re going to use the racial advantage, at least date a girl who is under 300lbs. Later I go to the gym and see the same tall guys I usually do. Even if I had a good face, how the fuck do you compete with guys who are fucking 6’4”?
Then at the gym there’s this good looking White guy there talking to this Asian dude about how Asian girls are easy and how they approach him. To make things worse after that these fucking frat douchebags come in with their girlfriends to show off . Then to cap off the day a girl I used to know from freshman year walks right past me without even saying anything. I used to fucking live next door to this bitch and now she doesn’t even say anything and acts like a pretentious cunt. She’s an Indian girl dating a White dude lmao. Days like today make you wonder why you even still try in the first place.
Of course, as I’ve mentioned before, most of those posting on PUAhate don’t actually seem to be ugly by anyone’s standards but their own, at least judging from the pictures of themselves they sometimes post to the site, which reveal them to be mostly average-looking guys, with some of the regulars even quite conventionally handsome.
But evidently they would rather believe that they have “lost the genetic lottery” rather than face a more obvious explanation for why the girls don’t like them: because they’re shallow, self-obsessed assholes who hate themselves and hate women and radiate their bitterness from every pore. (And some are even creepier than this, like this pedophile – sorry, ephebophile – who’s angry at me personally because unlike him I don’t chase after 15-year-olds. Link NSFW.)
The PUAhaters often talk about getting surgeries to “correct” their supposed genetic flaws. They would do far better to spend that money on therapy.
Posted on March 19, 2013, in creepy, disgusting women, drama kings, entitled babies, evil fat fatties, incel, irony alert, misogyny, pedophiles oh sorry ephebophiles, PUA, racism and tagged misogyny, pickup artists, PUA. Bookmark the permalink. 1,520 Comments.
Being virgin is our default state; it’s absurd to think there’s something wrong with it. It’s just as absurd as thinking there’s something wrong with wanting or enjoying sex, or not wanting sex, for that matter. Yeah, I hoped I’d meet a boy when I left high school for my brief time at college (not uni – different things here). It happened, but not the way I expected. I’m glad the term incel wasn’t around then. I might just have been naive enough as a teenager to adopt it, who knows? But it’s a bloody stupid term that tries to pathologise a perfectly ordinary existence AND to blame the rest of the world for it.
Also, I don’t think Turtle is necessarily a sock, I think there are lots of young men who through a combination of unconscious sexism and messed up societal programming about how relationships work feel like screaming in rage about how terrible women are is a reasonable response to being frustrated about not being able to find a partner. It’s not, but there are a lot of young guys who think it is, and that women should respond with compassion and understanding to being called shallow bitches. Which is a completely unreasonable expectation, and I don’t think we do them any favors by patting them on the head and saying “it’s OK, we understand”.
I think my conversation went pretty well. Mostly because these boys are my clients and respect me for the most part. I don’t think they really understand, but they were not dismissive.
I do enjoy talking to these boys about stuff. They can be very sexist at times, but their behavior changes when around me at least. I like to think I’m making a small change in their thinking which could change how they treat women in the future.
Wait….why won’t it let me go back to being just melody?
This is ANNOYING.
I’m not sensing sock, for what it’s worth. Giant Turtle, it sounds like you left but if you’re still reading I want to say I’m sorry if it seemed like we were mocking people who were unhappy at being alone. I do think the guys who are the subject of the post are losers, but they’re losers because they’re hateful, bigoted misogynists.
Giant Turtle said zie is a woman, which made me raise my eyebrows a bit – a woman identifying us as mocking zir when this is entirely about entitled, misogynist men seemed very odd. Hence my wondering about socks.
That’s a good point, actually. How extra alienating must all the incel stuff be for a woman who’s having a hard time finding a partner/sex? I can’t imagine that being told that the reason for your situation is that as a woman you’re an evil shallow bitch would be very helpful.
We should take PRIDE in our evil shallow bitchosity!
Cos anything that pisses off these croutons has to be a good thing.
@CassandraSays As another woman (and mostly lurker) in a loonnnng dry spell (or whatever) it’s really not! And since I don’t feel like I’m approaching/interested in exclusively male models, the other explanation must be that I’m a disgusting landwhale. Fun! Luckily I get that PUA & PUAhate dudes both have no idea how the world actually works nor would I ever want to fuck them anyway. It’s easy to let it get you down sometimes, though, for real.
@ CL
And then they wonder why there are no women on incel forums! Or, they should, but they don’t, because evil shallow bitches, etc.
And hypergamous! Don’t forget hypergamous.
::adjusts crown::
@melody
If you go to the wordpress site and hover over your little gravatar pic in the upper right-hand corner, you’ll get a link to “Settings.” Go there and choose “Public Profile” and you can change your how your name displays. Make sure it says “melody” in the Public Display Name field.
(You can also get to the settings by hovering over the little gravatar pic in the upper right-hand corner of this site assuming you are logged in. Click on your name and it will take you right to the “Settings” page. Then do the “Public Profile” stuff above.)
I just realised (duh!) that melody’s kitteh and augochlorella’s kitteh look similar.
TEH BLACK AND WHITE SUSPICIOUS KITTEHS ARE TAKING OVER
@Fibinachi OMG, the gaming talk is altogether too real and too apropos. Now, I was a gaming chick (had my own dice and my own set of books and everything… I even designed campaign maps for my brother to run for his friends) and I would never want to hate on all gamers, but oh, hayle can I picture clearly in my head the guys who thought exactly like that…
@GT I’ve had long, dry stretches myself (I had a messy breakup not too long ago, and I’m slowly coming out of one right now). I’m sure most, if not all, of us have. I am sure that most of us can empathize fairly directly with what you’re going through.
But think about what these guys are peddling.
They think the most important thing about their lives is how much sex they are having (and since they aren’t having any right now, even though they want to, they are enraged at the world).
They think that if they are not having sex with the people (women) they want to, those people (women) are empty, shallow, nasty, fill-in-the-blanks-with-worse bitches.
They feel that the most important thing about other people’s relationships is whether or not those pairings are up to their standards, and they will heap sexist, racist, ableist, etc., verbal abuse on those people… as if it were not only their business but their right to do so.
They feel that they should be able to have sex as often as they want with whomever they want, and those people really shouldn’t be able to say no. And if the people they want to have sex with *do* say no, even if they suspect that no is the answer they would get (even if they NEVER ASK) they will heap sexist, racist, ableist, etc., verbal abuse on those people, and on everyone around them.
They think that anyone of the opposite sex they meet who isn’t willing to have sex with them has unfairly forced them into the horrible, terrible condition they call the “friendzone”, where they are subjected to being expected to act decently to people who aren’t then required to have sex with them.
And above all they think that all of their troubles must be due to some unfair attitude on the part of all women everywhere, and could never possibly have anything to do with their own attitudes, or the regular abuse they heap on others.
Is that really something you want to identify with?
If you are not with someone and you’d like to be, that is hard, and I feel empathy for you (I’m close to being over my breakup and have been making the tentative steps toward dating again, and I know how hard it is especially after you’ve been out of the dance for a while). But it’s not the end of the world, and it doesn’t have to be the end of your life.
I know it can be depressing, and when you feel depressed it can easily feel as if there is never any hope that you’ll ever be happy again. It can feel as if all happiness is in the past, and as if you took a wrong step somewhere and now it’s all over, because you will never find the way back.
But you know what? Depression lies.
If you listen to the depression, it has a tendency to become a self-fulfilling prophecy, because like the PUAhaters, you become so unpleasant to be around that few people are going to bother, and it will be especially hard to meet new people and make new friends. Get help, get treatment; no one deserves to suffer. And be as patient as you can, because it might take a little while (took me three different courses of meds before I managed to find the right one and a bit longer to settle on the right dose, but I’m closer now and you can get there too). Reach out to people, even if it’s just a bunch of random folks who share your interest in feminism (hi there!).
Above all, avoid like the plague anyone who is going to sing the siren song of rage at you, because there are sharp rocks and hidden shoals there, and you can run aground in those waters and never get free.
I <3 Gillian :)
@somegal
Hopefully that worked?
@The Kitteh
Sort of yes.
All of the above. I’d write a longer comment… but now I don’t have to! Because Gillian has said everything perfectly. Awesome.
Right, I’m off for another osteo session. Wish me luck with less painful legs!
:)
:”>
@melody
Looks like it to me. :)
@Gillian
+1 *applauds*
Shorter OP: “I can’t get women to have sex with me! Waily, waily!” (yes, I did just finish the Tiffany Aching books, why do you ask?)
Yeesh… Okay, that was me completely flubbing my blushyface, so now I’m blushing even harder…
@Kittehs Good luck and NO PAIN!!!
@The Kittehs’
Good Luck!
@melody It worked!
Seconding ‘depression lies.’ I’ve gotten pretty good at ‘spot the depression lies,’ but it gets much harder when I’m stressed out or in a lot of pain. Since the weather has been turning on a dime of late, the ‘lot of pain’ has been pretty much constant – like an ice pick in my bad hip.
Kittehs: fingers crossed for less pain! I get prednisone tomorrow, should help with the hip.
@Kathleen All my sympathies. We’re having some of the same weather here, and right now I’m just waiting for the pain meds to kick in so that I have a hope of getting to sleep.
Maybe we both need hypnotism? Try staring at this for a while and see if it helps?
@Gillian: The doc was making noises about trying a cortisone injections into the hip, but that got shot down right quick. I’ve had injections into my ankle, and it was a week of hell – the shot itself hurt like fire, and the steroid didn’t do any damn good. The oral dose has helped a LOT, and I’m just gonna go with a what works.
My sympathies to everyone else with pain. I’m at the point where my back pain is starting to come back and I am counting the days until my injections. (One of the happiest, if exhausting, days in the month imo. Bring on the numbness!)
@Kathleen Yeah, my doc makes noises about shots to my hands every so often, but since I am a writer by trade (and because I can’t seem to manage to keep myself stuck to doing anything else for any length of time) my hands are my instrument, and I’ve always had terrible nightmares and phobias about anything happening to them.
Getting muzzywoozy now, so I think sleep is on its way. Nighty night y’all!
Night, Gillian!
Did someone say something about hypnotism?
(I have been looking for an excuse to post this for a while.)
Dammit.
Trying again.
@cloudiah
.
@cloudiah
Raverkitty is so cute!
I love the rainbow manatee too. <3
@cloudiah and lowquacks
That made me legit LOL for about a minute,
My work here is done. [dusts hands off]
Seriously, I am having more insomnia issues. So my work here might just be starting! (But I am going to try putting the computer down to see if I can get into a “sleep is awesome” frame of mind.) If I come back it’s because that didn’t work.
OT but…. Am I a kitty yet am I a kitty yet?
YAY, I’M A LLAMA KITTY AGAIN
ALL HAIL THE HYPNOKITTY
How is that a llama kitty?
It’s not, I was trying to strike llama out but I borked the code. Emperors New Groove joke.
WeeBoy is cute kitteh!
Well, my osteo has referred me for an MRI. She’s thinking there might be something structural with this unspeakable rotten knee.
Rarrrrrrr!
In the same way that a man will never be able to really understand what it means to get pregnant and give birth, women will never be able to really understand what it means to be sexually frustrated for a man, especially a young one, simply because they don’t have the male reproductive system. Imagine the time when you were most sexually frustrated yourself, CUBE it, and then keep it constant 24/7, and then you have the sexual frustration of the AVERAGE red-blooded human male upon hitting sexual puberty. And it gets worse if you’re a straight male, because gays and bi’s have definitely got it easier, because as someone once wisely observed, the people they want to have sex with, other (gay/bi) males, are just as horny (why do you think they are notorious for literally have sex anywhere and anytime, even and especially in public places?), unlike with females, who are not, at least not as quite, due to the combination of instinctive inhibition (evolved in humans due to the age-old social shaming of sluts + the extremely violent territorial jealousy of males) and the same sexual selectiveness the PUAhaters are talking about in the first place.
Anyway, these guys should consider themselves lucky because they dodged speeding silver bullets. As someone else noted, a good woman can make a man but a bad woman can break a man, and in the 21st century AD in the Western World, ground-zero the USA, there are NO more good women, at least not in the context of being decent relationship material for non-Alpha straight men. Once the honeymoon period is over, much more often than not they turn into either hags (let themselves go), nags (go crazy), an adulteress (super-evolved form: cuckolderess), gold-digger (divorce you and take half your gross estate plus alimony/child support for the rest of your life w/o even visitation rights), or some combination of some or all of them. As a wise man noted, “Foolish and wretched is the man who builds his happiness on the unstable and impermanent affections of a woman.”
Wait a minute… if they really think they’re physically butt-ugly, why don’t they resort to plastic surgery? I’m generelly not particularily taken with the whole business of body modification, but if somebody thinks he’s too ugly for life, it might actually help him.
Awww, Abnoy’s been wandering around with his eyes closed again, ignoring all those couples the other bonerwhiners are complaining about. Poooor widdle Abnoy, nobody’s catering to your terribul terribul sexual frustration. Why’s it so difficult for a wanker like you to use your hands, eh?
This article= lopsided.
You misunderstand the mind of the avg puahater. These men have been bullied, ostracized, rejected their entire lives.
In order to understand puahate, you have to have an understanding of science. This is something none of you here have clearly.
Looks Theory is biology and observable fact.
Firstly, we dont hate good looking men. We envy people who have won the genectic lottery and aspire to reach their societal stature. We admire men who manage to defy science and ” date women”
Our problem is with the deplorable behaviour of the modern woman. The hypergamy, the entitlement complexes, thirst for validaation etc etc. When a woman makes fun of men for having flaws and humiliating men who have done them no harm( happens all the time), that is disgusting.
There are plenty of anecdotes from puahate of men being laughed at, verbally attacked for their looks and rejected on the sole basis of them not being good looking enough.
To deny that modern women behave horribly is to be hypocritical on your part. You constantly complain about misogyny but fail to see that women are horrible. you think women are perfect angels who dont look out for their own interests.
You think women are beings who dont seek the best mate they can as it would benefit them to do so?
So to you people, bullying, verbal abuse and social exclusion is only something that happens to women?
We are imagining being treated like crap by people in totally unprovoked situations?
So when I go up to sit at a table and everyone leaves almost immediately is that because I was somehow a douchebag to them?
What about when everybody gravitates towards good looking people( which happens all the time!)….
Why cant you people understand that negative treatment creates shyness, social anxiety and reclusiveness and that negative feedback is directly correlated to not being Looks?
If you are good looking people treat you well, you are far more likely to develop confidence and a strong self-esteem this way.
You people blame everything on us. this way you basically say that bullying doesnt exist, people who are status obsessed dont exist, shallow people dont exist, social exclusion doesnt exist and that the reason negative things happen to us is because we are assholes?
Where does the ” asshole” behaviour come from then geniuses? From thin air? We just became douchebags from drinking contaminated municipal water?
Beauty is not subjective. It is a measurable entity. All things beautiful fit to certain specifications of symmetry and harmony.
google the “Golden Ratio”
All beautiful people share similar measurements, all beautiful things from buildings, to mountains, to cars to the milky way galaxy.
Well, well, well, we have another trolly idiot.
If beauty is so measurable, so objective, then pray tell how beauty standards differ so much between different cultures and different races over time? Do you think the tiny, misshapen feet of women in imperial China beautiful and incredibly sexy? No? Because the men then did. Do you think white lead paint, with vermillion lips and blue veins traced on the breasts to be beautiful? They did in Elizabethan times.
Get over yourself and stop blaming everyone else for your problems.
And I’m smelling sock here.
What’s your morning height, eh?
Is this a riddle or do you maybe want to try saying that again in English?
typical avoidant behaviour in this site. Anything in disagreement with TEH FEMINISTS is bullshit.
Ill ask you morons again.
Is a negative feedback loop from being treated badly throughout your life not a more plausible explanation for a non-positive outlook?
Question 2. Do you deny , YES or NO, that people treat you differently depending on your Looks, Social status or wealth?
Dude, you really need to stop drunk commenting on this blog.
Do you think the tiny, misshapen feet of women in imperial China beautiful and incredibly sexy? No? Because the men then did. Do you think white lead paint, with vermillion lips and blue veins traced on the breasts to be beautiful? They did in Elizabethan times.
^^
http://www.goldennumber.net/face/
Why cant you go and read the FACTS. Human beauty is based on divine proportion.
Dude, you really need to stop drunk commenting on this blog.
^^
answer the question.
At no point do you retort, just typical shaming tactics.
This world isnt perfect. People care about you social status, wealth and looks. Denying this is moronic. Basing your entire view of the world on what YOU think and not what has proof and is glaringly obvious and testable is stupid sorry.
Some people get treated badly because they arent good looking. This causes a lowered self-esteem, confidence and subsequent reclusiveness.
Show me one good looking person that is on a Chan or forum that is a NEET, virgin, Shut-in, friendless and I will give you $1million.
Truth:
And now, our new friend in musical form.
I would love to put kitteh on my shoulder, but my kitteh weighs 10.4 pounds and my health insurance isn’t all that great.
Yeah its your fault because you arent a nice person to be around. i mean wtf? You’ re Assuming that puahaters are idiots who go around being mean to people and expect positive behaviour? Assuming that everyone out there is a nice person and puahaters are the only mean people on the planet. Where do you get off David.
I personally have been nice to plenty of people and have been met with disgust because I dont fit the profile and ” type” of person some people want to associate with.
Use your head.
Hey looksy, everyone here knows people get bullied sometimes because of the way they look. That’s one of the reasons we’re anti-fatshaming and anti-abelism and anti-judging people on their looks. Thing is that women get bullied and shamed far more than men do. You (and the PUAhaters) just don’t notice because all you care about is what happens to you.
So, if you’re bullied and shamed, that is a horrible thing to happen to you and I agree it can be very emotionally damaging. But the people at fault are the bullies who did it (I would put money on plenty of the bullies being guys too) and society at large that encourages that bullying (pro tip: the one men are in charge of) not ALL women and certainly not feminists.
They don’t have to be mean – being completely self-absorbed and lacking in empathy is more than enough to put people off.
women get bullied and shamed far more than men do
^^^
Bold statement!!!! how do you know this, Id be more inclined to the contrary.
So, if you’re bullied and shamed, that is a horrible thing to happen to you and I agree it can be very emotionally damaging. But the people at fault are the bullies who did it (I would put money on plenty of the bullies being guys too) and society at large that encourages that bullying (pro tip: the one men are in charge of) not ALL women and certainly not feminists.
^^^
but the bullies post-high school tend to be women.
It is really hard to fit into groups and social circles when the “women of the group” dont want you around.
If women dont want you around it affects the status of the rest of the group and you get kicked out of social circles quickly, because ” women dont like you”
This is youth group dynamics. Women are the key. If you can gain acceptance from women, you can gain acceptance from men. Failure to do so results in being avoided by all parties.
Actually, if women don’t like you, that situation is unlikely to improve with age. Groups of older people don’t want men who all the women in the group can’t stand around either, as you can see from the response you always get here.
Science!
Dude, science isn’t prescriptive. There’s no “defying science.”
I can say that being snubbed socially seems to lead to resentment and bitterness. You can’t deny that! I’ve got a sample! It’s science!
And we have moved seamlessly and elegantly from comparing women to RPG quest objects to … Pokemon.
“Cuckolderess uses REALITY! It’s not very effective.”
Also I think that upon closer reflection, my marriage actually is based on “defying science” …
Isn’t it anti-Pokemon, though? Can’t catch any of them! Therefore hate all of them!