How to Hate and Envy Every Single Person in the World, PUAhate edition
Some guys get all the chicks
The regulars at PUAhate.com – we’ve met them before – are a strange and bitter bunch. Most seem to be self-loathing so-called “incels” who blame their lack of romantic and sexual success on their average or below-average looks. Rejecting the basic premise of the pickup artist crowd – that average guys can transform themselves into suave lotharios by mastering manipulative pickup formulas – the PUAhate regulars tend to be true believers in what they somewhat pretentiously call “looks theory,” the odd and obviously untrue notion that women only date men with “male model” looks.
As one PUAhater put it recently:
PUA makes you think that all your problems are because of your personality/behaviour – i.e. things you can control. So when you keep failing, it means that YOU are fucking up and doing things wrong
the reality is that many of us just lost the genetic lottery. we are ugly, the wrong race, the wrong height etc, and that fucked us up. there is NOTHING we can do about it
So, naturally, the PUAhaters spend a lot of their time jealous of tall, good-looking men for their supposed monopoly on the women of the world — whom they also hate.
But the strange thing is that the PUAhaters pretty much hate everyone else as well. They get angry when guys they consider ugly score “hot chicks.” They get angry when guys who are good-looking but not male models get attention from “really hot girls.” And so on, and so on, and so on.
Indeed, many of the regulars seem to walk around in a perpetual state of rage, angry at each and every man who’s managed to pair up with a woman, not to mention the women as well.
One regular recently described his “day from hell” to his comrades:
To start the day I saw a couple where it was an average White guy with an OBESE Asian girl. They were walking around acting like they were trying to prove shit. LMAO. I wanted to kick the guy in the fucking nuts for dating that landwhale. If you’re going to use the racial advantage, at least date a girl who is under 300lbs. Later I go to the gym and see the same tall guys I usually do. Even if I had a good face, how the fuck do you compete with guys who are fucking 6’4”?
Then at the gym there’s this good looking White guy there talking to this Asian dude about how Asian girls are easy and how they approach him. To make things worse after that these fucking frat douchebags come in with their girlfriends to show off . Then to cap off the day a girl I used to know from freshman year walks right past me without even saying anything. I used to fucking live next door to this bitch and now she doesn’t even say anything and acts like a pretentious cunt. She’s an Indian girl dating a White dude lmao. Days like today make you wonder why you even still try in the first place.
Of course, as I’ve mentioned before, most of those posting on PUAhate don’t actually seem to be ugly by anyone’s standards but their own, at least judging from the pictures of themselves they sometimes post to the site, which reveal them to be mostly average-looking guys, with some of the regulars even quite conventionally handsome.
But evidently they would rather believe that they have “lost the genetic lottery” rather than face a more obvious explanation for why the girls don’t like them: because they’re shallow, self-obsessed assholes who hate themselves and hate women and radiate their bitterness from every pore. (And some are even creepier than this, like this pedophile – sorry, ephebophile – who’s angry at me personally because unlike him I don’t chase after 15-year-olds. Link NSFW.)
The PUAhaters often talk about getting surgeries to “correct” their supposed genetic flaws. They would do far better to spend that money on therapy.
Posted on March 19, 2013, in creepy, disgusting women, drama kings, entitled babies, evil fat fatties, incel, irony alert, misogyny, pedophiles oh sorry ephebophiles, PUA, racism and tagged misogyny, pickup artists, PUA. Bookmark the permalink. 1,520 Comments.
You were, it’s just not something you have to deal with as often. Unless we need to actually start explaining how women are objectified. These aren’t ‘things that happen only to women’ they are things that happen more often to women. Count the number of times womens bodies/ implied sex with women is used to sell/ advertise something as with men.
….it’s like you’ve never heard of the glass ceiling. link on it: http://feministdisney.tumblr.com/post/8568399087/chart-of-the-day-depressing-pay-gap-statistic
source it at the bottom.
Part of that’s because men commit more crimes. If you compare the length of sentences between white and black men for the same crimes you’ll see black men get more. Same on # of people in new york who get stopped and frisked by police. I can’t find any quick bookmarks on this, so if anyone else has a source handy that’ be nice.
…so, do you think, or do you not think, the system is worse on trans* people than cis people?
Do you think it is the same to men and women?
Do you think racism isn’t a problem anymore?
Do you think it’s just as hard in the patriarchy to be straight as gay?
because that’s what you made it sound like. idk if it’s what you mean, which is why I’m asking.
Or perhaps you need some audio cables: http://www.amazon.com/AudioQuest-K2-Terminated-Speaker-Cable/dp/B000J36XR2
This new troll’s gonna be tedious. Ha, gonna be? He already is.
Yet another young man who is blind to his privilege, but comes here to wank about how he can’t get a date. There must be a factory somewhere.
Luckily I’ve got some feminism 101 stuff bookmarked (not that I think he’ll read it :/). Sadly I can’t find much of it though :( Curse you, unorganized bookmarks!
New troll? I thought that this personality guy was just the Ross Jeffers guy from earlier, after being unable to prove that he was actually Ross Jeffers.
I was looking at this (using fuckyeahhardfemmes to clear my mind): http://divalocity.tumblr.com/post/45732635074/aladylikeme-so-proud-of-my-friend-bee
And I often think how awesome it would be to *for no particular reason* privilege the opposite group to expected in various types of media. For, say, a year. A tiny amount of models being white, a far smaller amount of movies centering a mostly-male cast.
Obviously this would be impossible, but I feel like social conservatives attempt to tie liberals up in the “we’re not trying to SWAP oppressors, for fuck’s sake” argument; because we’re not. Women “ruling the world” would not stop wars. WTF? But for the majority get a feel for what it’s really like to be a minority, 24/7/52, and fucking suck it up because, because, because.
Even if there was a way to do that with all modern media (haha, ignoring the internet!), it wouldn’t change the discourse that like waves against rock reinforces again and again and again our expectations. But it’s a nice thought.
I have a vague recollection of reading the scene in one of the novels – someone saying something about the Doctor’s big nose, or some such, and the Doctor being a bit miffed about it.
Speaking of old grey brain cells! :D
Oh look, a man was ONCE told he was yummy by a group of youner girls, and ONCE hit on by a gay man!! Its totally like the bullshit I and other women deal with on a daily basis of being groped, pinched, told explicitly what men thirty years older than us want to do when we are nine, eleven, thirteen, ealuated on our boner inducing ability just because we’re walking down the street to work.
It isn’t just that objectification happens more to women, its heads and tails above what generally happens to men, and far, far more explicit. And its everywhere and its encouraged to treat women In this way.
“A long-shanked knave with a mighty nose.”
From “The Time Warrior”. Just rewatched it the other day
Wouldn’t it be nice if the software could analyze our comments and on recognizing a feminism 101 question or statement just redirect the poster to http://www.feminism101.com/, instead of posting the comment?
*awkward laugh* um, I can kill two birds with one stone here:
How’s patriarchy hurt men?
How rape culture hurts male rape victims?
Some basic premises here: the feminine is lesser, wrong, bad, weak; the masculine is better, correct, good, strong; this is, if you put a tiny bit of thought into it, a false dichotomy, but it’s important for the rest of this. Because the logical next step of this thought is that men who act like women are “doing manhood wrong” or unmasculine, or, gods forbid, girly. Meanwhile women are shamed for being insuffiecently girly — body hair, short hair, etc.
More important, currently, are the ways men are shamed for “not being manly enough”, like, idk, not having a hot enough girlfriend or sex often enough, not having typical manly looks, the “men don’t wear make up” mentioned earlier (high heels, damnit, high heels)
And yes, there’s heaps of misogyny, trans* misogyny, transphobia, and homophobia mixed in there, but it’s not relevant, this will get epically long if I give a full bigotry 101 lesson. Because explaining that all will cause the longest (non-math) comment ever, I’m going to stick with binary gender roles and heterosexual relationships. Sorry guys.
Anyways! The answer to how patriarchy hurts men should be fairly obvious at this point — the thought that you have to be sufficiently manly, and are a failure if you aren’t? Yeah, that’s patriarchal “women are lesser, don’t act like one” at work. And as for male rape victims, it’s assumed that women get raped that being raped is something that happens to women, and only women, so when it happens to a man, he’s seen as weak (or at least fears he will be).
And that’s not touching that plenty of people don’t even think men can be raped, because they’re supposed to be strong enough to prevent it. That women aren’t sexual and aren’t capable of rape (there’s about three levels of fucked in that). And, of course, that if the rapist is male, then the victim must be gay, and homophobia.
@joanimal
yes it would. Didn’t know there was a site for that ;)
Ah HAH! So Looksie Lou was a sockie, just not the one we thought he was. Sad, really. Who gets kicked around, has a hissie fit and gets banned, and then says, “Wow, that was so much fun that I’m gonna make up a new name and go back for more!”
I still think it would be nice to have some fresh trolls.
Thank you Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III. My elderly grey cells are now less maligned. ;)
@Baroncognito
Maybe I could use yours as a middle name?
@ItsAllAboutPersonalityJKlolololol
I think having more men in prision also has to do with…wait for it…patriarchy!
BTW: http://finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com/2007/10/18/phmt-argument/
Sir Bodsworth, you have saved me from hours of trying to remember where that came from!
“This new troll’s gonna be tedious. Ha, gonna be? He already is.
Yet another young man who is blind to his privilege, but comes here to wank about how he can’t get a date. There must be a factory somewhere.”
Don’t worry, I’ll just leave. Its evident I’m not in the slightest bit welcome to discuss anything here.
Thanks to those who treated me as another human rather than as a male.
ffs, noone was treating you badly because you are a male, but because of your content. (and really? all anyone said was that you seemed like a troll.) I’ve tried to engage with you in good faith, but that line was ridiculous >:/ Nobody owes you answers, and this isn’t a feminist 101 site.
Aw, honey, were we not making it all about you? Trust me, it’s not because you’re a man.
*Flounce*
End scene!
1,000! BOOYAH!
Nope, Shriaz is the winnah!
He’ll be back.
@ Marie Oh golly, that pay gap link. I knew the statistics, but it was really off-putting to see the comparisons between the degrees. Good to know once I’ve obtained my doctorate I’ll likely be paid about the same as a man with a Bachelors.
cloudiah, seriously, that Rollie thing is going to haunt my nightmares! So, thanks, for that…
I ate too many french fries.
I can’t tell if my nausea is from overeating or from what I’ve read.
Just take it as evident that we are sick and tired of explaining the same 101 concepts over and over again, when there are easily available written discourses on the damn google.
Also, you’ll note that the women here are also HUMAN. As women, our experiences are vastly different when it comes to things like objectification both in frequency of having to deal with it, the severity and its total impact on our lives.
Things like the bullshit the Stuebanville rape victim is going through, is tied into the objectification of women. Because society says that women are for mens gratification, period.
So maybe when you’ve gotten your nose back into proper alignment and done some basic reading, come back and we’ll be happier to discuss.
:)
I won something? Whew, nicest thing to happen to me all day.
What did that troll want anyway? It felt like he was digging for an apology, but for what?
Oh, and we passed 1000 comments.
What time is it inChicago?
“ffs, noone was treating you badly because you are a male, but because of your content. (and really? all anyone said was that you seemed like a troll.) I’ve tried to engage with you in good faith, but that line was ridiculous >:/ Nobody owes you answers, and this isn’t a feminist 101 site.”
Really?
“Yet another young man who is blind to his privilege, but comes here to wank about how he can’t get a date. There must be a factory somewhere.”
Doesn’t sound like it to me.
If I was a woman with this content I wouldn’t have gotten that response. Nobody would have made assumptions that I’m here to wank because I ‘can’t get a date’.
What about my content is so offensive? Believing that Neil Strauss didn’t get women because he has masterful PUA skills? That maybe something else was behind it?
Or was it when I made the assumption that I look more attractive with hair than I would bald?
There are such strong judgements here towards me when so little is known about me other than my gender which is funny coming from people who claim to be about equality.
pillow in hell:
Won’t happpen, we (I) were (was) meeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaan to him.
@augochlorella
Yeah :/ I haven’t looked back on it in a while, I just had it in my ‘handy statistics’ folder and posted it so the there’d be a link :/ Itsallabout… seemed like he’d be ‘there’s no glass cieling’ so I thought a source would be handy
I’m ramlbing….but like whatever. Unless I’m bugging you guys. Then you can tell me to be quiet, and I’ll actually get some sleep and try to come back coherent :D
Way to stick the flounce, dude!
We’re here to mock misogyny, go read the header. That is job one here.
What’s offensive is that you waltz in here with questions, and get stroppy when people don’t spoonfeed you, while ignoring the very nice people who are not me who could be assed to give you answers.
Fella, I thought you said you were leaving.
I guess you shouldn’t feel bad by peoples ‘”strong judgements” since we know “so little about you.” It couldn’t be personal then, could it?
No, if you were a woman posting misogynistic stuff on a site that mocks misogyny you’d still be mocked. ps, did you check out the link I posted. Actually respond to anything maybe :/
um, as far as I could tell people were just pointing out some men were attractive bald. If you want to find a way to get hair/keep hair, get a wig/ fake hair, nobody’s stopping you, you just shouldn’t feel like you have to to be socially acceptable, using your analogy, the same way women shouldn’t feel they have to wear make up to cover ‘flaws’ on their face to be acceptable. I like wearing make up sometimes, but I don’t like to feel like I have to. Does that make sense?
the only things we know about you are 1) your gender 2) you’re balding and 3) what you post. The last one is by far the most important.
…
Dude…
Idk about the get a date thing (I just skimmed most of the comments, so I can’t tell if you mentioned dating at all* but someone calling you blind to your privilege IS NOT ANTI MALE.
It is.. jeez. You have male privilege because you are man. Okay? This includes things like statistically higher pay than a woman of your same situation (race, background, education), generally taken as more competent, not really expected to change your last name or take on most of the housework in a marriage…
The list goes on and on.
Anyway, my point is if you think people pointing your your privilege is anti man, you have got a lot of stuff to think over.
If it was that date thing, ask someone who has been reading the comments all the way.
*lazy, I know. :P
@ Marie I don’t believe you’re bothering anyone. In fact, in my lurking I think you’ve come off as adorable if anything.
@ ItsAllAboutPersonalityJKlolololol Many people here were way more patient and welcoming to you than you deserved. If you can’t handle that we aren’t going to treat you with adoring respect after your behavior here, then you should stick to your promise to leave.
And he completely ignored my 101 lesson about how patriarchy hurts men. Color me surprised.
“No, if you were a woman posting misogynistic stuff on a site that mocks misogyny you’d still be mocked.”
I was mocked before I said hardly anything other than the bit about Neil Strauss. Is believing that PUA techniques isn’t why he had several girlfriends what passes for misogyny now?
I should add, adorable and you know your stuff, just to be clear.
@augochlorella
Aww. Thanks :D
@itsallabout….
I…where. I mean, I guess I’ll go back a page or two, but I don’t remember what you said about Niel straus. *shrugs*
@augochlorella
hehe. Extra thanks :D (just saw the second comment). *blushing*
Mmm-hmm.
Gonna hit the wine soon.
@itsallabout…
yeah, I went back to the conversation before I engaged you and it just looked like it was about balding so…. if you have a problem with that you’re going to have to talk to whoever you have the problem with. Difficult as it to believe, us feminists are not a hivemind ;)
@shiraz
I’m hitting the ‘should be in bed, but internets’ soon. It’s like being drunk for me ;) Anyway, who needs sleep? XD
Itsallaboutyouyouyou: Did you even bother to read this thread? If you had, you would have seen exactly what we’ve been dealing with and why we didn’t strew your path with rose petals and pop the champagne when you showed up.
Okay, I read some of your old comments, and I think the reason people assume you are a troll is first your username.*
*Haven’t read too much, so there is a huge chance I missed something.
I think that comment was a dig at feminists and you thinking they blamed men for everything… but you also blamed society for men not being able to wear make up… so one would think you’d be able to understand feminists blaming society and the patriarchy for lots of the problems it addresses… It’s not blaming you, dude.
Shiraz: what kind of wine you hitting?
“Idk about the get a date thing (I just skimmed most of the comments, so I can’t tell if you mentioned dating at all* but someone calling you blind to your privilege IS NOT ANTI MALE.”
So by just grouping me in with all the other young men who are blind to their privilege she isn’t treating me different because of my gender?
“It is.. jeez. You have male privilege because you are man. Okay? This includes things like statistically higher pay than a woman of your same situation (race, background, education), generally taken as more competent, not really expected to change your last name or take on most of the housework in a marriage…”
In addition to those great privileges of being more likely to commit suicide or be incarcerated.
“If it was that date thing, ask someone who has been reading the comments all the way.”
Its fine, I shouldn’t expect you to explain what has been said by others anyway.
Marie Go! Sleep! (unless you don’t want to). I just thought I’d check in while waiting for my meds to kick in. The weather is still playing hell with the pain levels.
By the way, how did the osteo appointment go, Kittehs? And someone else was also having some pain issues?
Had a good laugh about Looksie Lou over dinner and one of my housemates had a great perspective on the whine. Looksie reminded him of guys he went to high school with (all boys Jesuit school) who, as he put it, would “rather be right than be happy.” (For a given value of right, I suppose, mostly having to do with being able to get people to be mean to them by acting like a cockwad and thus proving that people were always being mean to them.)
Even when well meaning friends would try to give them good, solid, simple advice, they would rather argue about how other people should treat him first, or bring up all the people who he felt were already guilty of not having been nice to him and therefore were not worthy of anything but his contempt.
Sound familiar?
Nah, I didn’t think so… ;-)
He also reminded me of this
“Cynicism is often the shamefaced product of inexperience.” – A. J. Liebling
I love my housemates!
the negative effects of patriarchy are not misandry.
the negative effects of patriarchy are not misandry.
the negative effects of patriarchy are not misandry.
Also, go back up to Argenti Aertheri’s post. She explained well to you. I don’t know where teh suicide thing comes from, but men go to prison more often because women are seen as weak and helpless. Even though it affects men negatively it women too, and like I said, the patriarchy does have negative effects on men, just not as many.
@Marie I am on here at work.
Which is why 1) I’m not making insightful comments
@) why I haven’t read EVERY comment.
@Marie I am on here at work.
Which is why 1) I’m not making insightful comments
2) why I haven’t read EVERY comment.
oh, dang dramatic line fail
*giggles*
that should be the negative effects of patriarchy ON MEN are not misandry
@melody
oh sorry. Did I say something that made it sound like I thought you should have read every comment? They’ve been going fast today, so I can’t remember well :/
“yeah, I went back to the conversation before I engaged you and it just looked like it was about balding so…. if you have a problem with that you’re going to have to talk to whoever you have the problem with. Difficult as it to believe, us feminists are not a hivemind”
Sure, I just hope you can appreciate why I might have been slightly distressed now. I will go back and re read what you wrote earlier too, I’ve just been slightly distracted. Thanks for your responses anyway.
“Itsallaboutyouyouyou: Did you even bother to read this thread? If you had, you would have seen exactly what we’ve been dealing with and why we didn’t strew your path with rose petals and pop the champagne when you showed up.”
I didn’t expect you to. I just hoped you might be able to judge me on what I say, not what other males before me, or on a site I have read from said.
@Marie
Nope you are fine. I was responding to several comments you’ve made. One on this page asking if anybody was tired.
I am at work….
And there were a couple comments and I aimed them all at you.
I’m not certain you were the one who made them.
So, confused right now.
@ ItsAllAboutPersonalityJKlolololol
You may have noticed my suspicious cat. My cat is suspicious of you.
My cat is suspicious that you came here looking for a productive discussion at all. My cat suspects this because someone looking for a productive discussion does not behave the way you did – aggressive assertions, ignoring the points of others, disrespectful approach, etc. Oh, and your username certainly doesn’t say, “Hi. I’m here because I’d like to talk about some things you may disagree with, but I promise I will utilize appropriate discourse and won’t be an asshat even a little bit.”
If you’re really looking for your points to be heard, or to persuade people to see your side, you may want to rethink your approach. If you just want to vomit your rage on strange women on the internet, though, it looks like you’ve got your method down pat.
He’s still wanking on and on? They never do leave when they promise to.
…
higher rate of being incarcerated because HIGHER RATE OF COMMITTING CRIMES.
Though I think male judges tend to give female defendants lighter sentences due to viewing them as less capable which… lets wait for it… goes back to SEXISM (not some kind of reverse man sexism). Female judges give female defendants HIGHER sentences.
Yeah, and as for higher rate of suicide, I am not sure if I’ve seen stats on that… but if it is so, it is something that should be addressed, but wait for it… DOES NOT NEGATE MALE PRIVILEGE.
Let’s list this:
The (not in use any more) draft: A portion of boys got drafted into the army, and ALL of them (all the boys, not just all the ones in the army) got the reward of being treated as more competent and capable that girls, and ALL of them got higher pay or access to better jobs.
Higher rate of being incarcerated: I actually do think men are socialized as more violent than women, which shockingly often backfires on women… because men commit crimes against then. Have you ever heard of a woman shooting men randomly because she blamed all men for not getting dates? Because.. I could swear that happened (that guy in the gym a while back… ugh, I don’t really want to remember it, but does anyone know what I’m talking about?)
And if you’re going to try to use suicide statistics for evidence of “negating” male privilige (hint, it does really not), you might as well argue back that 1/6 women is raped, which is way more than the porportion of men who commit suicide.
And if you’re going to compare statistics like commiting suicide…
*another theory for why guys commit suicide more often is they are socialized that sadness is wussy and they should just be angry so they are not really helped when they are depressed. Which still needs feminism, since it actually addresses that men can be depressed or victims sometimes and they do not have to be He-Man-Tough-Guy all the time, like in the patriarchy.
And dude… you are acting… I don’t know if blind is the right word* but really, really IGNORANT about your privilege. So it’s not anti male to group you into that group of other guys who are really ignorant about it.
*Anyone feel like that has ableist connotations? I’m not really sure.
@melody
Ok :) I was just making sure I wasn’t making an ass out of myself. Going to go back and check now and see if I missed a comment you made at me.
Oh man.
If I walked onto a site about racism and said “once, I walked into a business and they stopped and frisked me cause they thought I was native canadian” or “once I went to a bar, and the bartender refused to serve me because they thought I was native canadian” and that site was predominently POC and their white allies, I GET MY ASS HANDED TO ME. And rightfully so. Do you know why? Because an instance or two of being treated poorly gives me only the slightest hint of what its like to be POC. And because there’s a ton of shit that happens to oppressed people, and they learn very young just how much they need to fear it and how very little they can do about it. That space I walked into was probably a tiny little safe spot, where they could talk about things that bothered them and share ideas on how to overcome racism. It was not likely put there to personally spoonfeed a total ignoramus like me who sincerely believes my one experience puts me on the same footing.
That’s why there’s 101 blogs.
You want to discuss things? Then do some background reading. When you come back to ask questions, make sure its not something that’s been said eleventy million times, or that you just need a quick clarification of a simple point.
When I wanted to better understand racism, I lurked on a few blogs for months. I did some research and I did a lot of thinking. But most of all, I worked to get over myself and realize that my one or two experiences weren’t a water molecule in the ocean.
If you do that, you’ll still make an ass of yourself and piss some people off. Keep working on it and you’ll get better.
Don’t laugh, hellkell — Shiraz, Milton Park Thorn-Clark.
Effing insufficiently nice to asshats? Srsly? Have yourself a trollhouse cookie and STFU!
Now my post feels pointless, because Pillow in Hell just explained it perfectly.
QFT.
@gillian
omg I missed your comment!
(so my brain remembers what I’m responding to, incase everyone’s curious why I blockquote almost everything that’s not super recent)
I do need sleep, but I have friday off :) And talking with you guys is so worth it :D
What you say is what every clueless jag says when they wander in here all wide-eyed and excited because THEY HAVE THE ANSWERS, and will set us feminists straight!
No dude, you just wanted your ass kissed and to be fed all your information. Go away, baby bird.
Negative attention isn’t the kind you want.
Ho lee shit, it’s the jilted guypocalypse over here! I cannot believe I have been missing the fun!!
THINGS THE MRAS TAUGHT ME ABOUT MYSELF TODAY
1. I am only attracted to men for their looks. When deciding whether to have sex with a man, I don’t take any other factors into account.
1a. Except maybe $MONEY$.
2. Furthermore, I am only attracted to a very specific male type: men who star in blockbuster action movies aimed primarily at men. All other men are hideous to me, and I would never have sex with anyone who is not the star of a film franchise based on a Marvel comic.
3. Men ask me out on dates every day of my life.
4. When guys holler “Nice tits, wanna fuck?” from half a block away while their buddies snigger, they are making a sincere and heartfelt offer of sensitive lovemaking. I really ought to respond more graciously.