How to Hate and Envy Every Single Person in the World, PUAhate edition
Some guys get all the chicks
The regulars at PUAhate.com – we’ve met them before – are a strange and bitter bunch. Most seem to be self-loathing so-called “incels” who blame their lack of romantic and sexual success on their average or below-average looks. Rejecting the basic premise of the pickup artist crowd – that average guys can transform themselves into suave lotharios by mastering manipulative pickup formulas – the PUAhate regulars tend to be true believers in what they somewhat pretentiously call “looks theory,” the odd and obviously untrue notion that women only date men with “male model” looks.
As one PUAhater put it recently:
PUA makes you think that all your problems are because of your personality/behaviour – i.e. things you can control. So when you keep failing, it means that YOU are fucking up and doing things wrong
the reality is that many of us just lost the genetic lottery. we are ugly, the wrong race, the wrong height etc, and that fucked us up. there is NOTHING we can do about it
So, naturally, the PUAhaters spend a lot of their time jealous of tall, good-looking men for their supposed monopoly on the women of the world — whom they also hate.
But the strange thing is that the PUAhaters pretty much hate everyone else as well. They get angry when guys they consider ugly score “hot chicks.” They get angry when guys who are good-looking but not male models get attention from “really hot girls.” And so on, and so on, and so on.
Indeed, many of the regulars seem to walk around in a perpetual state of rage, angry at each and every man who’s managed to pair up with a woman, not to mention the women as well.
One regular recently described his “day from hell” to his comrades:
To start the day I saw a couple where it was an average White guy with an OBESE Asian girl. They were walking around acting like they were trying to prove shit. LMAO. I wanted to kick the guy in the fucking nuts for dating that landwhale. If you’re going to use the racial advantage, at least date a girl who is under 300lbs. Later I go to the gym and see the same tall guys I usually do. Even if I had a good face, how the fuck do you compete with guys who are fucking 6’4”?
Then at the gym there’s this good looking White guy there talking to this Asian dude about how Asian girls are easy and how they approach him. To make things worse after that these fucking frat douchebags come in with their girlfriends to show off . Then to cap off the day a girl I used to know from freshman year walks right past me without even saying anything. I used to fucking live next door to this bitch and now she doesn’t even say anything and acts like a pretentious cunt. She’s an Indian girl dating a White dude lmao. Days like today make you wonder why you even still try in the first place.
Of course, as I’ve mentioned before, most of those posting on PUAhate don’t actually seem to be ugly by anyone’s standards but their own, at least judging from the pictures of themselves they sometimes post to the site, which reveal them to be mostly average-looking guys, with some of the regulars even quite conventionally handsome.
But evidently they would rather believe that they have “lost the genetic lottery” rather than face a more obvious explanation for why the girls don’t like them: because they’re shallow, self-obsessed assholes who hate themselves and hate women and radiate their bitterness from every pore. (And some are even creepier than this, like this pedophile – sorry, ephebophile – who’s angry at me personally because unlike him I don’t chase after 15-year-olds. Link NSFW.)
The PUAhaters often talk about getting surgeries to “correct” their supposed genetic flaws. They would do far better to spend that money on therapy.
Posted on March 19, 2013, in creepy, disgusting women, drama kings, entitled babies, evil fat fatties, incel, irony alert, misogyny, pedophiles oh sorry ephebophiles, PUA, racism and tagged misogyny, pickup artists, PUA. Bookmark the permalink. 1,520 Comments.
Looksie, who are you kidding. No one here would go out with you, even though we don’t know what you look like, how you dress, or how much money you have. What we know about you is that you like to throw tantrums and insult people, that that’s why no one here would even go to coffee with you.
You could always try to act like a decent person first and see what that gets you.
I asked you before if you could manage to say one decent, non-insulting, non-snarky, neutral to complimentary thing. One thing that was not about you or your anxiety or your stress or your poor, lonely boner. Try it, as an exercise. Try writing something reasonable, or something sincere.
Can’t do it, can you?
Hey, if Looksy asks a question it’s only fair for us to give him an honest answer. See how kind and helpful we are? This is useful information for him.
@Jeffries
Because the plural second person pronoun is identical to the single second person pronoun, and you did not specify which ‘you’ you were referring to, and thus I shall amend my question:
Who is transphobic, and why are they so?
Why would I date someone who: 1) thinks that all modern women are horrible, hypergamous bitches and 2) doesn’t understand the difference between a woman and a peahen?
And we’re totally incompatible because I’m incredibl social and when I’ve dated men who were shy/socially anxious in the past they found being in a relationship with me to be stressful. They were much happier with women who were also more introverted.
So those are reasons I’m not interested and they have nothing to do with your bullshit LMS theory.
Looks_Law: Assume I mean “hypothetical person” when I write “you”.
A) Friends are not a resource that you gain and attain in a strict linear fashion – so “competition from men with more friends” is a null point – as it says nothing about no one. You don’t flash your friends to potential lovers and make them swoon that way.
B)Get thee to a therapist. A person in college has access to student counselling services, and a few months of sharing frustration with a trained professional can help you get over anxieties and worries and fears, provide perspective and help.
C) I won’t play your game, because it’s a non winning proposition. The reason I won’t go on a date with you is that the personality you’re displaying through your posts is not a good one, but when I or anyone say that, you will retort with “HAH! SHANK HOS GOT’CHA”. You’re playing the Got’cha Game.
It’s a fun game to play, if you like winning misery.
D) Seriously, B).
E) I would also suggest in order: Stop stressing about your looks by realizing that it means little to many people, find clubs and activities you enjoy doing because this will give you a shared ground to communicate with others, find hobbies that you can do that bring you joy / pleasure and that give you something to do with your time so you don’t sit around being miserable, breathe, breathe, breathre, realize the world isn’t out to get you, talk to a therapist about my anxiety and see if it’s reasonable based on the expectations and events I’ve experienced and had, or if I’ve accidentally stepped into some sort of chronic thing.
F) Get the book “Neurosis and Human Growth”, Karen Horney. Snicker at the name, enjoy the book.
Looks_troll:
1. Suicidal? Get therapy. Seriously, call a hotline, talk to someone (not us), NOW.
2. DROP THE FUCKING MISOGYNY.
3. Stay in therapy. If you don’t think your therapist is helping, get another therapist.
4. TRY NOT BEING AN ASSHAT.
5. Keep going to therapy.
6. Once you’re past the suicidal part, develop your interests. Don’t just do things because there might be HOT WOMEN there; do them because you like to do them.
7. Stay out of nightclubs & bars if you don’t like them. You’re unlikely to meet people in a setting where you’re uncomfortable.
8. STOP TROLLING MAN BOOBZ.
“Because the plural second person pronoun is identical to the single second person pronoun, and you did not specify which ‘you’ you were referring to, and thus I shall amend my question:”
I was speaking to hellkell, and they (notice gender-neutral pronoun) were making negative comments about my gender. I’m trans.
Right, Billy Crystal looks just like
Harrison Ford who looks just like Sean
Astin who looks just like Danny DeVito
who looks just like William H. Macy,
who looks just like Joe Pesci ^^^^
Are you mentally unstable?
Why are you mentioning D-List straight to DVD actors that don’t have the drawing power HOLLYWOOD is looking for?
Avengers- Hemsworth, Captain america guy
Batman-Tom Hardy, Christian Bale
Superman- Henry Cavill
Django- Dicaprio
Great Gatsby- DiCaprio
Promethues- Fassbender
Twilight- Patterson
Inception- Tom Hardy, DiCaprio
James Bond/Skyfall- Daniel Craig
Amazing Spiderman- Andrew Garfield
Drive- Ryan Gosling
Haven’t even gotten to the newer movies and others.
All male leads= HOT
Why? Because they bring in numbers, WHY? Because Looks Matter to people who consume these movies, The general PUBLIC.
Idiot.
And now Looksie is turning into a therapy troll. What an amazing surprise.
Steve Buschemi disagrees.
The only one of those who I find hot is Gosling, and that’s mostly because of his personality…
Anyway, there’s your golden advice: Who you are at any given moment is not an indicator of you will be, given time and practice and direction.
Decide to be the kind of person you’d like to be, then work on it every day. Start now, don’t deviate, and speaking of that, I should get going. Having already won the thread, I can leave gracefully.
( q: )
@ Looks_Law
taking what you said seriously, I recommend
A) http://www.suicidehotlines.com/
B) Go to your college counseling center
C) Do more of what you enjoy doing (painting, board games, biking, scuba diving, woodworking, knitting, rock-climbing, etc.) and join a group focused around said activity, for the purpose of doing more of that activity with other people who also like that activity.
“1. Suicidal? Get therapy. Seriously, call a hotline, talk to someone (not us), NOW.”
4. TRY NOT BEING AN ASSHAT.
8. STOP TROLLING MAN BOOBZ.”
The fact that this guy said he was suicidal and you still continue to bully him and tell him what to do is disgusting. You are a disgusting human being. Where’s your compassion for the suicidal?
Looks_law – it’s okay for these things to bother you. Troll if it helps you feel better. Get help and you will have my support.
Pro tip – this is not a therapy group. We have told you this before.
“taking what you said seriously, I recommend
A) http://www.suicidehotlines.com/
B) Go to your college counseling center
C) Do more of what you enjoy doing (painting, board games, biking, scuba diving, woodworking, knitting, rock-climbing, etc.) and join a group focused around said activity, for the purpose of doing more of that activity with other people who also like that activity.”
I agree with this. Very responsible way to handle it starskita.
Chris Hemsworth is Thor. Chris Evans is Captain America.
Looks, for real, if you are suicidal, GO TO THERAPY. Even if that’s hyperbole and you think your anxiety is holding you back, go to therapy. You have to deal with those issues. Also try expanding your realm from nightclubs. Nightclubs amplify the worst aspects of men, women, dating and the society we live in. (Also, I assume you’re there to look at good looking people? So, why is it only the women who are horrible in this situation?) For real. Try theater. Or book club. Or LARPing. Anything. College has EVERYTHING.
I know you’re a troll, but goddamn, this shit is tedious. Expand your definition of women who are worth knowing/dating. I’m a grown lady and I’m telling you straight up, I have been attracted to men of all shapes and sizes and looks. The personality and chemistry is everything. None of those men have wanted me back and I do not hate them, nor blame them, nor all men for my lot in life. I’m still working on it. And my life is pretty great. Worry less about finding a girlfriend every second and just participate in things you like. Lord. It’s not SCIENCE.
Gosling is one of those rare instances where someone who is not my type could totally get it. I feel like it has more to do with his style than his looks, though. I like the way he dresses and I like his posture. Or his character’s posture in Drive.
But yeah.
Could totally get it.
Looks_Law? Take your ass to Dr. Nerdlove and read everything from the beginning. Get therapy now before you graduate. Stop hanging out with a bunch of assholes who tell you that you’ll never have a relationship because you’re ugly.
Now that’s it; that’s all the free advice I’m giving out today. You keep hanging around and you’re getting mocked.
Also – find friends first, dates later. Trying to do things the other way around will probably not end well.
Using your previous logic/arguments: How do you know he’s suicidal and not just pretending to be suicidal because “irony”?
The only one of those who I find hot is
Gosling, and that’s mostly because of
his personality…
^^^
You are a liar and fraud.
Shut it.
Yeah, Gosling is not my type either, but there’s something appealing about him. He looks like he’d be interesting to talk to, and he seems smart.
Also, and I’m being dead serious, stop thinking of ‘girlfriend’ as a ‘thing’ you must ‘acquire.’
FYI,
Leonardo DiCaprio did not play Django. He played Calvin Candie.
Django was played by Jamie Foxx. DiCaprio and Foxx look rather different. Which was kinda the point of the movie.
(I particularly know the Jamie Foxx’s name because my MRA name is Jamie ToasterLaminate from several threads back. Or possible Jamie KettleLaminate. Had to look it up again for the last name.)
Pro tip # 2 – calling people liars and frauds will not result in them agreeing to go on dates with you, or in them wanting to help you with your depression and social anxiety.
Gosling is one of those rare instances
where someone who is not my type
could totally get it. I feel like it has
more to do with his style than his
looks, though. I like the way he
dresses and I like his posture. Or his
character’s posture in Drive.
^^^
LOL, yeah keep telling yourself that.
Its his style, ofcourse it is. Plenty of men who dress exactly the same but there’s something about how GOSLING wears his ferragamos.
Lol.
@Cassandra
I am horribly repulsed by Ryan Gosling because I saw a picture of him that was supposed to be flattering but just made me go “OMG Hitler Youth”
Since then I have seen other pictures but I can’t get that out of my head.
I find all of those dudes listed above hot. Would any of them fuck me? Doubtful, in the rare case I ever met them. Am I only attracted to guys who look like that in real life? Nope. Have some of the most beautiful men I’ve ever met in real life also been the biggest jerks/idiots/douchebags/just generally annoying humans? Yes.
@ starskita
Ick. Yeah, that would work like a bucket of ice water on my libido too.
Gosling never did anything for me until I saw how sweet and funny and down to earth he seemed in interviews. Now I like him.
The other celebrity who never did anything for me until I found out more about his personality is Walton Goggins, who plays utter dipshits in everything he does but who apparently is quite an awesome dude in real life.
You get that too? I can’t really explain it.
My type is much more… Don Cheadle, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Romany Malco, Mos Def, Black Thought. Frederick Douglass. Great looking men, in my opinion, but they’re not really known as “heart throbs” in the traditional sense.
Oh, sorry, except Fassbender. I don’t like him. I hear bad things about how he treats women. This makes him not hot.
Hemsworth seems like a nice enough guy too, but not very smart, which is offputting for me.
(I am basing this on one interview he did that I only watched because Charlize Theron was also in it, so take that for what it’s worth.)
Because I am the center of the universe and I know the contents of everyone’s head better than they do.
Looksie, therapy will also help with your delusional idea that you can read minds.
Yawn. This one has gotten stale, can we get a fresh one?
Don Cheadle is another guy who’s not really my type but still appealing because he seems smart, interesting, and generally like a guy who I’d enjoy being around.
(Waits for child to start throwing his blocks at me again.)
I’m off to work on our map collection; have fun nomming the trolls.
Looks_Low: because all these guys are male leads in popcorn flicks watched by the masses right? RIGHT?
Did you get specially made, extra-light goalposts?
A man goes up to a woman, whether they go on a date or not is UP TO THE WOMAN.
A man wants to go for the kiss, WHETHER THE KISS HAPPENS OR NOT IS UP TO THE WOMAN
A man wants to move into a sexual relationship, WHETHER SEX HAPPENS OR NOT IS UP TO THE WOMAN!, ANYTHING ELSE IS RAPE.
Nope.
A person approaches another person; the person approached decides if there will be more interaction.
My point was that there is a MECHANISM to the way that humans select mates, just as it is in the animal kingdom, which was refuting the point made that human mating choice is not a Machine and cant be explained.
And our point is that, even accepting; arguendo, such a mechanism works, you haven’t shown what it is; and your Naturalistic Fallacy is just that.
but we are animals, just like lions peacocks and flies
No, we are not. We are sapient animals. We are animals who have the ability to decide how to engage with our environment. When a dog goes into heat, she fucks. If she’s not in heat, she doesn’t. Male seahorses care for seahorse eggs. If they don’t, they don’t reproduce.
We don’t have those constraints. That what “looks good” is so wide from place to place/time to time means your hypothesis (I can’t dignify it by ranking it with Theories, such as Gravity, Evolution, Quantum Mechanics) is null and void.
That, son, is SCIENCE.
Not caught up, so maybe this was said, but is Looks_Law Virgil?
Looks_Low: So clearly you know something I dont. tell me more. dont call me stupid for asking, tell me what you know?!
Why? If we told you the truth (again) you would (again) deny it, and insist the question is being dodged.
But here goes:
People choose people because they like them. That’s it. Looks are part of it, but (this is important, so pay attention, there will be a quiz later: not from me, but from Life) they 1: aren’t the final arbiter and 2: aren’t objective.
What I like, and what you like, in women are different. This is good, because if you liked the women I liked I’d be upset; they deserve better than to have you hitting on them, and them rejecting you would hurt your fee-fees.
About Fassbender, yeah, I’ve heard that stuff too. Now every time I look at him I just think DANGER WILL ROBINSON DANGER.
Hey,dipshit, what did I say before? Hang around and it’s nothing but mockery for you.
You know fuck all about the complicated and myriad ways that human sexuality and attraction manifest and you sure as shit don’t know enough to tell me about my attraction to anybody, movie star or not.
Clothes, confidence, the way a man carries himself – these things mean a lot to me.
Looks has spent the entire thread calling people idiots, but we’re the bullies. Sure.
Also, I’m 100% convinced that we’ve already had this exact conversation with this person, who is now masquerading as a different troll under a different name. We’ve gone through all of the advice on how to deal with social anxiety and depression, how to approach girls, etc.
As Cassandra has indicated, this is not a therapy group. Also, we’ve seen this type of attention seeking a million times before. From you as well, as a matter of fact.
Yes.
I’m expecting an “Eeew women do sexual things with men” melt-down within the hour.
I remember a jock in high school. Totally hot and totally a jerk. When he asked me out I said no because even though I found him attractive he was a jerk.
Stop pretending looks win all. They don’t.
@Looks-guy
A vast majority of the men pecunium mentioned are considered Hollywood institutions (as leading men). Just because not every single one has been in a blockbuster from the past year or two does not change that. And to that list of not conventionally attractive men who somehow seem to be in LOTS of popular movies, I would like to add Tom Hanks, Michael Cera, Seth Rogan, Vince Vaughn, Owen Wilson (my own personal opinion).
For the record, of your list I do NOT find Christian Bale, Andrew Garfield, Chris Hemsworth, Daniel Craig, OR Robert Pattinson attractive. It’s almost like people are individuals who like or dislike certain characteristics. And honestly, a lot of people fall in love with the CHARACTER that actor is playing, which makes them seem more attractive in real life.
Lastly, since you managed to ignore the other comment about this, I dare you to come up with a list of women who are not considered conventionally attractive that is even HALF as long as the list we have come up with. It is not just MEN being given unrealistic standards for looks in HOLLYWOOD, stupid. And in fact, you’ll find men in Hollywood have a broader range in which they can be considered “attractive” than women are.
(Sorry all, this is a pet peeve of mine, the Hollywood standards are so patently obvious.)
See the way you feel about Gosling= Halo Effect.
We tend to feel positive things about people who are attractive.
“I don’t know what it is, he seems interesting”!!
Its because you like how he looks and are responding appropriately man!
Its not a sin to like how someone Looks feminists.
As far as the Avengers cast, Robert Downey Jr. is hotter than Hemsworth and Evans combined. Then, I suppose Jeremy Renner. The rest (save Mark Ruffalo) are all to pretty for me. Of course the hottest guy in the movie (and in the Iron Man movies as well) was never actually on screen (just his voice).
Ahhh… Paul Bettany. Nice to look at AND talented.
RE Falling in love with the character rather than the actor, yep. That’s why I like Cheadle even though he’s not tall and wispy like the guys I usually go for. It’s also why I like Kaneshiro so much – sure, he’s gorgeous, but what really makes him stick in my mind in a way a lot of equally pretty actors don’t is that he’s consistently played characters that I’ve really liked.
(Also why I didn’t like him as much in House of Flying Daggers even though he looked great – the character wasn’t very likeable.)
Am I the only one heartless and evil enough not to give a solitary crap if whatshisface is suicidal and anxious? Maybe it’s ’cause I’m leaving for my own therapy in half an hour, but being a mess doesn’t actually make you behave like an obnoxious troll. So he can stuff it about the suicide or, frankly, put his money where his mouth is and get treatment.
No, but it’s the height of arrogance to assume that your standards are universal because SCIENCE!!!!
Say it with me, “Women are people too”. Individual people, individual preferences.
@ Bagelsan
Nope. Although I might care more if I thought he was being sincere and not just trolling again.
Oh, FFS. Keep telling us our thoughts and opinions, because we don’t know ourselves. You, a stranger on the internet, are going to mansplain it all to us. You are fucking ridiculous.
Oh no! By not finding certain men hot we ladies have lost the right to find any men hot, or else be hypocrites! Guess it’s time to start that lesbian commune.
Yep, what CassandraSaid
Character =/= Actor.
I <3 Captain Jack Harkness. (And would have a chance with him! So would you Looksdude)
Pretty sure not the same for John Barrowman.
But from a physical POV I don’t think Gosling is very attractive. He has pretty eyes, but he’s too buff and too blonde and too masculine looking for me. It’s the personality that makes him appealing.
@Cassandra Back when Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy came out, Gary Oldman did the rounds of all the shows and made me swoon all over again. Incredible talent, warm and engaging personality, and a great, self-deprecating sense of humor.
Oh, and he was in Batman too, so he’s still getting jobs.
I must be some kind of cat-phile, because I find most of the people on this thread very interesting and attractive but they all look like cats! I must be attributing positive traits to them based on my subconscious urge to sleep with anime cats.
Oldman I love in more of a yeah, man, pick those pieces of scenery out of your teeth way. He’s just so hilariously over the top.
What’s ironic (pay close attention Jeffries) is that I have spent most of my adult life dating men who -physically at least- pretty much all fit the bill. Don’t get me wrong, I love men so I haven’t exclusively dated within the confines of “my type” but that’s been the majority.
And then I fell head over heels in love with somebody who is a big, bearded, barrel-chested, goofy, teddy bear of a man (adorable and sexy to be sure) who looks more like Scrubs era Donald Faison then the dark, slinky, slightly bug-eyed, seemingly intellectual types I’ve always favored.
What can you do?
We tend to feel positive things toward actors who play characters we like.
BTW soap operas are a great example some of the actors who played villains in soap operas were reviled by the fans of the show. They DISLIKED the actor because of the character they played.
Whereas I’m finding Bagelsan’s weird yellow abstract icon really hot right now. Who knew I had a geometry kink?
starsitka: *sigh* Captain Jack Harkness. :D
On John Barrowman–just based on the wikipedia article, I’m finding him more attractive already.
(but I’m a non-Whovian, so that’s my first real exposure to him anyway)
(exposure is funnier in this context if you’ve read the link)
It is not just MEN
being given unrealistic standards for
looks in HOLLYWOOD, stupid
^^^
This is another thing I wanted to point out.
Why do women complain about “unrealistic” Hollywood standards.
I don’t complain about Hardy, Hemsworth, they are very realistic to me.
They aren’t holograms. They are men who have won the genetic lottery.
I’ll never understand the fat acceptance movement against “unrealistic” hollywood standards.
To me its just women getting butthurt that they didn’t luck out and win Kate Upton/ Megan Good Genes.
Also, don’t people often seem hotter once you get to know and like them? I always am more physically attracted to people after liking them as people. YMMV but I’m sure my experiences aren’t unique.
Looks_Low: Dude… if it’s, “SCIENCE” and there’s nothing to be done… suck it up. You lost the “genetic lottery” and aren’t gonna get any nookie. Too bad.
But you don’t think that. You think you deserve some action, but the, “stuck up bitches” won’t give you a tumble.
So, on the face of your raging about how “unfair” the way things are is… you don’t believe what you say.
Looksie: Men do the asking out
Thank god you are wrong, or my early sex life would have been a lot less active (as in non-existent).
“Gosling never did anything for me until I saw how sweet and funny and down to earth he seemed in interviews. Now I like him.”
Yeah, I was really apathetic about him until I read this story about how he learned knitting from some extras and said it was one of the best days of his life. Suddenly my heart exploded into fluff.