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Fidelbogen’s Sonnets for the Portuguese

Brazilians celebrate the arrival of Fidelbogen em Português
Brazilians celebrate the arrival of Fidelbogen em Português

Brazilians! Portuguese! I have fantastic news! Fidelbogen is now available in Portuguese!

Yes, our old frenemy Fidelbogen, the self-described Counter-Feminist Agent of Change (CFAC), and the would-be philosopher king of the manosphere, has managed to find someone who is, for some perverse reason, willing to translate snippets from Mr. F’s blogs into Portuguese.

This is a bit ironic, in that Fidelbogen’s writing, in its original English, reads a lot like a bad translation from the German. He’s a writer of almost pathological verbosity; rarely has any writer said so little with so many words. Not that, at the root, he has much to say; underneath all the verbiage, his ideas are trite and simplistic. And yet he seems convinced that he’s a genius. He’s one of those terrible writers who thinks he’s great. The manosphere is full of them.

And so I thought I’d use the opportunity to present some examples of Fidelbogen’s magisterial prose.

These examples are all from Mr. F’s new blog, CounterSnippets, which he evidently sees as a sort of “Dummies” version of his regular blog, The Counter-Feminist, a place where he can put forth pithy counter-feminist slogans for the masses. As he describes it:

This blog is a meme-dispersion apparatus. It is called “counter-snippets” because it features snippets of counter-feminist philosophy — sometimes one or two sentences, but typically a short paragraph. Each snippet is designed to be memorable and to stick in the reader’s mind. Having done so, it may take root and grow like a seed

As you’ll see from the examples below, Mr. F has not quite mastered the fine art of pithiness just yet.

Each of these quotes is from a separate post.

The complete phenomenology of female supremacism outdistances what any given feminist would openly acknowledge to be feminism, and the word feminism itself operates as a misdirection of attention. (Source)

In the end, the non-feminist revolution is not an identifiable human target group but a cloud of forces manifesting through human actions which can sometimes be politically linked to each other, but other times not. (Source)

In the end, the feminist left gets the bulk of its blood supply from the feminist right.  And that blood supply is nothing less than old-school gynocentrism itself. (Source)

Feminism has driven you fifty miles out into the country and left you there to fend for yourselves. Yes, it is unwise to take rides from strangers. Now you’ve got some walking to do, but hopefully the exercise will prove beneficial. I am the messenger. (Source)

We would understand feminism as a gynonormative project, while acknowledging that it could not have come into operation without a preexisting base of gynocentricity in the traditional culture.

Gynonormativization is integral to the establishment of female supremacy. (Source)

Counter-feminist analysis concludes that feminism and female supremacism are interchangeable terms, and we assert that no other analysis will generate effective political traction.

You may agree, or not, that feminism equals female supremacism — yet female supremacism as a datum is not to be doubted. (Source)

We of the non-feminist sector claim the status of an autonomous power with respect to the feminist power on earth, and we demand the full measure of diplomatic courtesy due to such a status. (Source)

Feminism as a whole needs both the academic and the pop cohorts. The academic cohort is needful so that feminism will have an intellectual vanguard — so that the snake will have a head, in other words. The pop cohort is needful so that the vanguard ideology will be demographically incarnated in numbers — so that the snake will have a body, in other words. (Source)

Remember that ALL feminism is packed into a system of interwoven karma. ALL feminism contributes to an evolutionary trajectory which points toward a radical feminist future. (Source)

Your message will take root and grow only if you make the herd disintegrate. Do that, and their power to dismiss your message will disintegrate in tandem. And when people get to this point, they will instinctively cast about in search of a new herd they can join. You know how joiners are. So it is a good idea to prepare something they can cling to, that they will be more readily persuaded to make the jump. (Source)

If we translate all of his posts from Fidelbogenese to plain old English, the message of his blog seems to be pretty simple:

1) We non-feminists should be the ones to define what feminism is.

2) Not all feminists are radical feminists but somehow they really all are, because of … karma?

3) Once we defeat feminism, it should be easy enought to herd the former feminists into our flock if we set forth some nifty little memes for them to “cling to.”

It’s hard to imagine a philosophy that’s much more condescending and cynical than this. No wonder Fidelbogen tries to disguise his philosophy in giant gasous clouds of verbiage.

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Dagrabbit
Dagrabbit
7 years ago

*uncrosses eyes*

Uhh… ’twas brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe?

Those “snippets” sound like a drunken game of broken telephone with Lewis Carroll.

No wait… I change my mind… I think I would REALLY enjoy a drunken game of broken telephone with Lewis Carroll! At least more than I enjoyed reading this tripe.

“O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!” … pass it on! =)

katz
7 years ago

I don’t know, Neurite, how can anyone tell what you’re saying if you don’t begin with “In the end…”?

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Argenti – that’s a fascinating article, I’d never heard of lithopedia before. First thing I was thinking when I read the article on Feministe (apart from “how can anyone be this stupid”) was that septicaemia would kill anyone with a dead fetus in her.

I bet that tosser thinks of them like those gross plastic fetuses the anti-choicers like to wave around, arranged in tiny niches in the Uterine Catacombs.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Dagrabbit – the borogoves would be even mimsier if they had to read that lot!

katz
7 years ago

My parents had one of those! I asked about it when I was a wee thing not yet versed in political stupidity and my mother said she had it because that was what I looked like before I was born.

So for years I thought it was just one of those goofy sentimental things parents do, like keeping a piece of plaster with your baby footprints in it.

Dagrabbit
Dagrabbit
7 years ago

Is it wrong that I’m imagining my uterus looking like the Catacombs of Paris and that the thought is making me giggle?

Damn! And after taking birth control pills due to crippling monthly pain for the last 15 or so years, the only thing the surgeon found in my uterus last fall was endometriosis…

… which he says would have been much worse if I wasn’t ever on the pill.

Huh.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catacombs_of_Paris

Dagrabbit
Dagrabbit
7 years ago

Kitteh… no wonder the mome raths outgrabe! It was in protest! =D

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Dagrabbit – if it’s wrong, that’s two of us, ‘cos the idea made me laugh!

Just think of all those little rows of skulls looking accusingly at us …

Endometriosis. 🙁 That really sucks, it’s a horrible condition.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Outgribing is the natural response!

DLColvin (llothcat)
7 years ago

@ Argenti Aertheri

Thanks for that link. Useful plot device, that.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

You really are being juvenile, DL Colvin, insisting on hanging around here where everyone’s made it very clear you’re not welcome. Do you do this in meatspace too?

Xanthë
7 years ago

Oh the idiotic comment by radio jerk Kevin Swanson. Elsewhere, being you know, a biologist, PZ Myers showed a histology slide of a uterus, and guess what! The supposed features of hundreds of “little tiny fetuses” in the womb were identified as endometrial glands. *not enough facepalms*

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

I’m fairly sure I don’t want to know how a lithopedian can be a plot device, but you’re welcome?

DLColvin — seriously, they’re absurdly rare, the GM/ST in me says you can use that once per world/game (not once per arch, more like the ratio of lithopedians to popes should favor popes)

Kitteh — that’s some weird combo of squick and an improvement over the pieced back together “this is what abortion looks like” posters (which a kind of hilarious if you’re at planned parenthood for an STD test, but I’d imagine substantially less funny if you’re getting an abortion, or simply lack my sick sense of humor)

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

Xantë — but women not on the pill don’t have those? That’s got to be just more bullshit as it makes no sense at all (not that the dead babies thing did!)

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
7 years ago

How much mome would a mome rath rath if a mome could out grabe Chuck?

*terribleatsleep*

Dagrabbit
Dagrabbit
7 years ago

Kitteh: Yeah, endometriosis really does suck. But the laparoscopic surgery seemed to help lessen the intensity of the pain. It’s still a little early to get a pattern on how much things have improved (I had a D&C during the same surgery, which threw off my personal analysis on how much things may have changed), but last month, I most definitely spent less time in the fetal position and passing out than I’m accustomed to! I reeeeeally hope it doesn’t come back as painful as it was.

Oops, I realised I should have said endometriosis was found “on” my uterus (the outside) instead of “in” my uterus… that makes more sense.

P.S. Lethargic cats make decent heating pads. =)

DLColvin (llothcat)
7 years ago

Its been done as a plot device before.. Check out the wiki. I’m surprised I haven’t run into it before over at critters site ( Sci FI writing). I mean, the manuscripts use just about everything you can think up.

Xanthë
7 years ago

And Dagrabbit, really sorry to hear about endometriosis.

Argenti, sorry I’m not a biologist so I don’t know to what extent the OCP suppresses the growth of the endometrium. The main thing the OCP does is prevent ovulation, meaning no egg to be fertilised, therefore no zygote if fertilisation could occur, therefore no blastocyte to implant in the endometrium — but the endometrium is then shedded each cycle, so it can’t possibly be a repository for hundreds of dead eggs.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Dagrabbit – careful you don’t let said lethargic cats know they’re being helpful, because they might decide you’re in breach of contract. 😉

Friend I had years ago had endometriosis, and had a really rough time with it, but yours sounds like it’s worse. I really hope the improvement continues for you, or at least doesn’t relapse.

Oh my, another ad for Midsomer. “Apparently, he had no head.” Yup, things as usual in the stockbroker belt.

Xanthë
7 years ago

Oh sorry AA, didn’t read properly, you were asking if women were *not* on the pill. Umm…

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

Yeah and I saw that Law and Order and was substantially less than impressed — one hot mess of elderly people with Alzheimer’s are crazy and dangerous and hey she might not even know if she gave birth or not!

So let me try again — idk how you’d use it as a plot device and not have it be full of fail.

Dagrabbit — I just saw your first comment there and wanted to add the the chorus of “ouch, that sucks” — hope your surgery succeeded in making it less painful!

And w00t to the catacombs, if I ever visit Paris I’d really love to see those (fuck the Eiffel Tower, I have a date with skeletons! *is totally weird*)

Xantë — don’t worry about the biology question, there’s probably either no difference, or the difference you’re thinking — which’d be the reverse of dude’s nonsense. And um, Argenti please, not AA, I’m not real fond of the association with alcoholic’s anonymous, thanks!

Dr. G
Dr. G
7 years ago

Hey, usual lurker here! This is my very first comment!

Just thought it was sort of funny that if you google “gyno”, most of the pages (in “my” google at least) are not about women, but about bodybuilding. As gyno is apparently what male bodybuilders call the breast tissue they get from anabolic steroids… Gynonormative has different connotations if you choose to look at it from that perspective 😀

Xanthë
7 years ago

Argenti, should have thought of that of course! I’m most sorry, that association is not good. I was trying too much for economy of typing. (You’re right that the dude’s nonsense has absolutely no logic to it at all. I went looking on the Pfft! of all knowledge and found a nice picture illustrating endometrial glands from Gray’s Anatomy.)

DLColvin (llothcat)
7 years ago

Its all depends on just how you use it. Vertigo comics had an awesome use of one very angry fetus.. Back when Luficer was running. I mean I wouldn’t wanna encounter that thing.. It ate a hoarde of angels and all.

gratuitous_violet
gratuitous_violet
7 years ago

OMFG I am never getting that time in Portuguese back. If anyone is interested, I’m fairly certain it’s not a translate-o-bot, since some things are actually simplified in translation (“disambiguative alternative” becomes “alternativo não-ambígua” for example) but this dude needs to work on his idioms. “What on earth” is actually an expression, but when you translate it directly like he did it it’s “que na terra” which more precisely means “what in the ground.” He managed to find someone just as windbaggy as he is, only in a specifically Portuguese way. (So. Many. Articles. Used!)

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Xanthe – the gland at the bottom of that picture (the one with “gland” pointing to it) looks like a short-tailed kangaroo. QANTAS on a bad day, maybe? 😉

Argenti – “So let me try again — idk how you’d use it as a plot device and not have it be full of fail.”

Considering the source, I don’t think being full of fail would be seen as a problem. But yeah: apart from what a horrible thing it is, its rarity (and that it’s been used already) makes it a fucking stupid device, right up there with deus ex machina. (Fetus ex machina, perhaps?)

Heheh the catacombs weren’t on my visiting list for Paris, but I sure as hell avoided the Eiffel Tower. Did get to see Lindow Man in London, and a hologram of him in Edinburgh.

Dagrabbit
Dagrabbit
7 years ago

Kitteh, Xanthe and Argenti: Thank’s y’all. =)

Kitteh: When Samson acts as my heating pad, as usual, he thinks it’s all about HIM. He’s such a cuddlebug that he feels he’s getting more benefit than me. I think I’m safe. =)

Tulgey: He’d outgribe as much mome as a… oh, screw it, I give up.

Argenti: I’d join you in those catacombs, but I have an unfounded fear of underground caves and caverns and things collapsing around or on top of me. I’d have to be in a REALLY big and brightly lit room. But if there was a heap of skeletons at street level, or even in a tower, I am SO there!

P.S. Even though I had a D&C recently, I am in no way suggesting that my uterus is as cavernous and as much of a tourist attraction as the catacombs. It’s not like you could yell into it and hear an echo.

P.P.S. To the best of my recollection, no one has ever yelled into my uterus.

P.P.P.S. I’m starting to wonder if the fact that no one has yelled into my uterus simply means I clearly need to have more fun.

P.P.P.P.S. *alsoterribleatsleep*

Xanthë
7 years ago

Sorry to keep going on the fetus graveyard topic, but I just saw this. Hell yeah. Catacombs have got nothing on this. (Sorry Paris and Rome!)

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

gratuitous_violet – “He managed to find someone just as windbaggy as he is, only in a specifically Portuguese way. (So. Many. Articles. Used!)”

Maybe he really did get it done by a monolingual Dane using a Danish-English phrasebook, an English-French one and a French-Portuguese one … 😉

DLColvin (llothcat)
7 years ago

Lol.. I can’t even identify which comic that panel came from.. Just that it’s Jim Lee’s style, so maybe dc? Anyway.. The scandisk is done, so back to editing it is.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

I’m going to phrase this as delicately as I can given the circumstances – if you are as unreflective and lacking in critical thinking skills as DL seems to be, science fiction may not be the field in which you want to write. Maybe try a field that’s less intellectually demanding, with fans who’re less likely to pick your ideas to pieces if they don’t make sense.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Dagrabbit:

Kitteh: When Samson acts as my heating pad, as usual, he thinks it’s all about HIM. He’s such a cuddlebug that he feels he’s getting more benefit than me. I think I’m safe. =)

I shoulda realised! 😀

P.S. Even though I had a D&C recently, I am in no way suggesting that my uterus is as cavernous and as much of a tourist attraction as the catacombs. It’s not like you could yell into it and hear an echo.

P.P.S. To the best of my recollection, no one has ever yelled into my uterus.

P.P.P.S. I’m starting to wonder if the fact that no one has yelled into my uterus simply means I clearly need to have more fun.

This is just BEGGING for a remake of Fantastic Voyage!

Xanthe – the scariest mummies I’ve ever seen (not for reals, no way!) are the ones in Guanajuato. They’re naturally mummified victims of a cholera epidemic, I think, from the 19th century, and FUUUUUCK they look like that scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark.

https://www.google.com/search?q=guanajuato+mummies&hl=en&tbo=u&rls={moz:distributionID}:{moz:locale}:{moz:official}&tbm=isch&source=univ&sa=X&ei=xcQQUdnwGOKNmQWJgIHgCQ&sqi=2&ved=0CDQQsAQ&biw=1073&bih=512

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

Also, the MRA double period? Please don’t do that.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

(And yes, I’m aware that lit snobs will want to scream at me because I called science fiction intellectually demanding. The good stuff is. Even if you’re devoted to the idea that all genre fiction is crap, though, I think you have to concede that it’s still a bit beyond DLs capabilities given what we’ve seen from her so far.)

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

I get the feeling DL Colvin was trying to use an ellipsis without knowing what it is or how many dots it has.

How about answering questions put to you, DL Colvin? What are you getting out of this? Are you so desperate for attention you resort to hanging around on sites where you’re not welcome? All you do is make stupid drive-by comments. You contribute nothing, you never apologised for the shitty things you said here or the totally stupid lies you told on your blog, and you waft back in like nothing happened. Do you have a completely crap memory, or do you think we do, or are you just MRA-level stupid?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

Not just drive-by comments, which would be tiresome enough. Rambling, incoherent drive-by comment interspersed with paranoid rantings on her own blog.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Sunday driver comments, perhaps.

Oh dear, shouldn’t have said that, now I’m hearing the Corries singing it!

lowquacks
lowquacks
7 years ago

I got the bizzaro-Maoist feeling too – those read like The Little Red Book crossed with the Black Panthers’ 10-point program.

I quite like

We of the non-feminist sector claim the status of an autonomous power with respect to the feminist power on earth, and we demand the full measure of diplomatic courtesy due to such a status.

though. Is that MRA nationalism? That’d be as great as Reddit Island or the Galt’s Gulch that nutjob wants to build in the middle of Detroit or whatever.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

Maybe it’s the first step of a new Elam plan to levy taxes on his followers (since they’re now part of the sovereign nations of Whinystan).

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

If those wingnuts try doing a Prince Leonard of Hut River Province, there needs to be a bloody big wall built to keep ’em inside.

Dagrabbit
Dagrabbit
7 years ago

“This is just BEGGING for a remake of Fantastic Voyage!”

I’d rather that than those pesky Magic School Bus kids again!

lowquacks
lowquacks
7 years ago

Principality of Hutt River is at least an entertaining and largely harmless micronation. Can’t imagine an anarcho-capitalist haven populated entirely by abusive men mostly skilled at whining on the internet would go too well.

…What would the Whinystani flag loo like?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

A crudely rendered drawing of a vulva with a line through it, kind of like a No Smoking sign?

lowquacks
lowquacks
7 years ago

If I had any clue how to draw in the sort of post-constructivist sort of style used in the People’s Republic under Mao, I’d have a go in doing that up in black and gold.

I don’t, though.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

It’d have to be so stylised nobody would know what it was, to make it of a piece with a lot of their rantings.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

I almost want to start a Tumblr making up fake slogans for them in that style and see how long it takes them to catch on.

Much ownership of the means of oppression!

Send women back to the kitchen for re-education!

The forces of gynonormativization and feministicism must not be allowed to retain political traction via the unnatural dissemination of warped anti-male conceptions of sexuality such as age of consent laws!

(I tried, guys, but I’m not sure even the last one is wordy enough to really capture that Fidelbogen vibe.)

lowquacks
lowquacks
7 years ago

“It is necessary the gynonormatizating and feministiticising effects of feminism not retain political train, which could but will not necessarily occur through such events as the unnatural dissemination of warped anti-male conception of sexuality such as arbitrary age-based restrictions on sexual conduct.”, perhaps?

I’m criminally verbose/convoluted writing essays and can’t always get it down with just proofreading – I used a bunch of things I’ve noticed myself doing.

lowquacks
lowquacks
7 years ago

*”It is necessary, then,”

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

Still needs more jargon! Also it’s much too succinct. I think that’s why I can’t imitate his writing style, I’m too used to working within strict word limits.

lowquacks
lowquacks
7 years ago

You’ve been in journalism quite a while, haven’t you? That’d be another thing that’d teach you to be clear and whatnot. Academics sometimes have awful writing and they’ve got word limits a lot of time or at least did in their student days.