“Nice Guys” on parade
So, “Nice Guys” are causing a stir on the Internet again, thanks largely to a new(ish) Tumblr blog called “Nice Guys” of Ok Cupid, which posts selected highlights from the OKCupid profiles of self-proclaimed “nice guys” who make it very clear, in their profiles and in their answers to OKCupid’s “match” questions, that they are in fact anything but nice.
Some of them are actual or potential date rapists, convinced that women that they’re “nice” to owe them sex. Others are bitter from too many rejections, and launch long tirades in their profiles about how women are bitches and whores. Still others are clueless on a more fundamental level, declaring that women have “an obligation to shave their legs” and otherwise prettify themselves for men while noting that they themselves only shower or brush their teeth occasionally.
It’s not clear how any of this is supposed to convince the women of OKCupid that these angry, ranting, hapless-yet-entitled “nice guys” are indeed as “nice” as advertised, much less convince any rational human being to have sex with them.
The site is a goldmine of unintentional self-revelation — as is a similar site with the name of, er, OKCupid Goldmine — and I’ve spent hours looking through the pictures on both sites and discussing them with friends. The only reason I haven’t linked to it in the past is that neither of them blur out the faces of the people they feature, which seems to me a pretty major invasion of privacy. (As you no doubt have noticed, I’ve taken the liberty of somewhat creeepily disguising the faces of the guys in the pics I’m posting here.) But “Nice Guys of OKCupid has been pretty widely discussed, linked to by Jezebel (1, 2) and The Guardian and even the Men’s Rights subreddit, to mention merely a few examples; Ok Cupid Goldmine is also provoking discussions. Posts on both sites regularly get dozens if not hundreds of comments and reblogs on Tumblr. The cat’s already out of the bag.
Here are a couple more of these “Nice Guys” with their faces all spiral-ized:
Posted on January 4, 2013, in creep-shaming, creepy, douchebaggery, entitled babies, hypocrisy, incoherent rage, irony alert, men who should not ever be with women ever, misogyny, nice guys, rape, rapey and tagged misogyny, nice guys, okcupid, rape, rape apology. Bookmark the permalink. 1,346 Comments.
New kitty boy is a purr machine, and he makes ferocious biscuits on everything–you, your shirt, the floor, whatever.
Well, this certainly shows your brilliance.
It just goes to show that you’re an ubermentch and I am the untermentch. All because you can write better than I can.
@hellkell
More interesting, cuter and, I bet, smarter!
You’re the one who keeps banging on about how fucking smart you are. Fuck off.
Some Gal – of course he doesn’t see it. Diogenes the Dilapidated is of the “do what I say, not what I do” school. Women are all expected to conform to his
fantasiespreferences all the time.When interesting trolls get all run down and fall into disrepair they turn into Frothy.
So the Tumblr for Nice Guys of OK Cupid has been taken down:
https://sites.google.com/site/niceguysofokc/
Now I feel bad depilate wasn’t even in my vocabulary. Dilapidate is in mine, but depilate was not.
I feel uneducated now.
Ferocious Biscuits would be another great band name.
So, Diogenes the Genius can invent algebra all by his little self, solve possibly fake manuscripts, but neither write nor look up the word he wants (intellectual dishonesty, I suppose) and then whines a la Steele about being picked on. Oh woes.
” Cynic- pleasing partner ends at partner expects daily measures to be taken for his sexual pleasure beyond normal hygene. Seriously, shaved pubes and legs used to be a kink and now they are an expectation? If my partner is going to sulk about that my partner can bite my ass.
Would this be a bad time to point out that there’s no ‘t’ in ‘ubermensch?’
As for me, I plug, sheaf, ‘trindle, dilacerate and use a kazoo regularly. You know, standard stuff.
Orange tabby kitties are the best kitties. Why are they overwhelmingly male? My first cat was a female orange tabby, and I have never known another one.
I was watching this earlier on my phone and wanted to post it here because CUTE:
@ Cassandra- From the wisdom of Peaches: “If you want to be Moses you need a burning bush, baby, and that’s just what I got”.
@ drst- nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nah, mocking Diogenes is always appropriate.
I am sad that the tumblr was taken down and wonder why.
@cloudiah
All the orange tabbies in my cat’s litter were boys. That is actually why I picked her, she watched me the whole time while I played with her brothers AND was polydactyl. I had to bring her home. She is, sadly, not an orange tabby though. I will point this out to her the next time she claws my couch.
timetraveler
Like I said. It goes both ways. To the extent that one partner wants accommodations, they have to be willing to accommodate.
@Kitteh’s – it’s entirely possible. I had no idea what that message was about until I started reading here and discovered that’s a popular MRA theory. I was just boggled.
I’m tempted to reactivate my OKC profile now just to see what happens. Living in a very rural, very red state I got all sorts of scary messages from dudes, and now that I’ve moved, I’m curious.
Hey cynic, someone’s messing with your car, dude. Seriously, just go outside and look for yourself. Yeah, that means you have to leave — yeah, too bad. But you’d better go, now. Isn’t the Voynich Manuscript in the trunk? Go save it, dude!
@ lumi- apparently she had been talking to her lawyer about violating her terms of use over the holidays. which is dumb. Hey, she could shut down her account and borrow the account of an anonymous friend and technically they would be the ones in violation of their terms of use.
KITTY! Moar kitty pics, hellkell.
Also, what if my pubes are blond? I thought men preferred blondes? I AM SO CONFUSED.
I think it is a genetic marker similar to calicos being girls.
I expect the nice guys of okcupid to be back in a day or three. That is what happened last time it was taken down for tos violations.
It doesn’t matter how often one shaves. When you’re lounging around the house in sweatpants, it’s not important what’s under there. Or even when you’re going out, when you’ll be wearing pants. It only matters when it’s time for sex. Just in my opinion. I’m favouring quality over quantity. Better to have hot sex once a week than half-assed 30-seconds of humping in the dark every night. Sex has to perfect or else it’s a waste of time. I wouldn’t wanna do it when I wasn’t looking my best.
lumi – someone said earlier the tumblr owner was being threatened with legal action.
cloudiah – CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE! Kitty on springs!
Hey, is anyone here on goodreads?
You can’t tell whether or not a woman’s legs are shaved when she’s wearing pants either, unless she’s wearing capris.
(I’m not trying to reason with Grumbles btw, that’s pointless. Just poking him because he’s occasionally amusing when he’s in a sulk.)
Sgt. Grumbles: “sex has to be perfect.” For you, right?
Shiraz
My porsche 914 is in about a million pieces now. I would be extremely impressed if someone was able to get it to work.
Grumbles – so you think you’re looking your best when you’ve shaved, fine. Not everyone feels that way about themselves or their partners. Believe it or not, people can manage to have satisfying, happy, even joyful sex more often than that, without turning it into some ‘OMG it must be perfect’ performance. And they can even do it unshaven! With the lights on!
“Sex has to perfect or else it’s a waste of time. ”
What does this mean, now?
Also, sex must be perfect – what defines perfect? What if your partner’s definition is different? What if they don’t actually want that sort of performance pressure?
Hey, grumbles, I thnk it’s fantastic you feel soo free with your preferences. Free enough to continue expressing them in a pages long discussion with women who are clearly uncomfortable with your preferences, find them restrictive, and have spent a good deal of time and energy telling you as much. Seriously, that is a fantastic expression of freedon you are exercising there!! Wow, you deserve all the legs t be as bald as a young baby’s ass after all this free expression. Or maybe your preference is actually re-enforcing some larger constrictive pressures concerning the expectations of women’s behaviour and how they conduct themselves for others'; pleasure. But, ya know, the important thing is how free you are feeling right now to express yourself, right?
LOL, Porsche. That’s hilarious.
Diogenes the Delapidated: sorry your VW is in a million pieces. LOL 914.
frothingly ninja’d by cloudiah.
Cynic,
So I was right? Somebody was messing with it?
My imaginary car is a Maserati.
I think I’m just going to start posting videos. Any objections?
Clearly Frothy’s Porsche failed to bring all the girls to the yard. He should ask for a refund.
I prefer imaginary Daimlers or Bentleys of the 1930s look.
How perfect cannot be when you are both trying to look your best and worrying about if it is good enough to count as perfect?
This is honestly one of the funniest things I’ve ever read.
seems good to me, cloudiah
My imaginary car is a 73 Buick Gran Sport SS convertible.
What is perfect sex? In my experience, it has nothing to do with tiny details of the bodies involved, but more about the passionate connection. I’ve had sex that I would call perfect, and these stupid little boy rules didn’t even begin to enter into it.
Can it.
Oh, by the way, my Tardis is in the shop for repairs.
hellkell
Wow. Are you a car buff? I’m genuinely impressed.
BTW, only half the parts are VW. There are Porsche components in there. And no, its not just the decals.
That was me hoping to get a typo correction right under my post and also giving advice to Diogenes and Grumbles! A twofer!
This song has one of my favorite lines of all time in it.
“What’s hip today, might become passé.”
*snicker, snort, snicker*
My real imaginary car is a restored 1970s BMW 2002.
Anyone who is that obsessed with appearance during sex is not going to be a good partner. Too focused on what zie looks like and the other person(s) look like, to actually, you know FEEL anything. My condolences to anyone who attempts to have sex with such a person.
One of my favourite George Winston pieces – Rain.
cloudiah: those old 2002s are awesome! I used to see a lot of those in Seattle, along with the really old Volvos that kind of resembled the Batmobile.
What I don’t understand is why either of those two think we care about what their idea of perfect sex or an acceptable sexual partner is.
Those old Volvos are totally cool too.
“What I don’t understand is why either of those two think we care about what their idea of perfect sex or an acceptable sexual partner is.”
Yeah, me too.
@CassandraSays
Because society affirms their “preferences” and it drives them crazy that not only are they not affirmed here, they are actually critiqued and reconstructed. There is always a guy like them when feminists talk about these issues.
Of course all women are always supposed to be fascinated by the preferences of all men at all times!
And they get so annoyed that they resort to the “well I wouldn’t want to fuck you anyway!” line, as if anyone here would fuck them if they were the proverbial last men on earth. Or as if, more to the point, we’re still expected to adhere to their preferences regardless.
Deconstructed. It isn’t enough that I have to teach my device how to curse, I have to teach it fancy-schmancy words too?
The thing is, both of those two seem to want to be considered part of this community, and I don’t understand why. It’s not like there aren’t plenty of other forums full of women that they could go hang out in after being told to piss off here. Maybe the egos just can’t handle the being told to piss off part.
Plus, they’re so used to being listened to offline just for being male, that they really don’t know what to do when a bunch of women (especially) don’t give an imperfect fuck what they like.
“don’t give an imperfect fuck”
I saw what you did there