“Nice Guys” on parade
So, “Nice Guys” are causing a stir on the Internet again, thanks largely to a new(ish) Tumblr blog called “Nice Guys” of Ok Cupid, which posts selected highlights from the OKCupid profiles of self-proclaimed “nice guys” who make it very clear, in their profiles and in their answers to OKCupid’s “match” questions, that they are in fact anything but nice.
Some of them are actual or potential date rapists, convinced that women that they’re “nice” to owe them sex. Others are bitter from too many rejections, and launch long tirades in their profiles about how women are bitches and whores. Still others are clueless on a more fundamental level, declaring that women have “an obligation to shave their legs” and otherwise prettify themselves for men while noting that they themselves only shower or brush their teeth occasionally.
It’s not clear how any of this is supposed to convince the women of OKCupid that these angry, ranting, hapless-yet-entitled “nice guys” are indeed as “nice” as advertised, much less convince any rational human being to have sex with them.
The site is a goldmine of unintentional self-revelation — as is a similar site with the name of, er, OKCupid Goldmine — and I’ve spent hours looking through the pictures on both sites and discussing them with friends. The only reason I haven’t linked to it in the past is that neither of them blur out the faces of the people they feature, which seems to me a pretty major invasion of privacy. (As you no doubt have noticed, I’ve taken the liberty of somewhat creeepily disguising the faces of the guys in the pics I’m posting here.) But “Nice Guys of OKCupid has been pretty widely discussed, linked to by Jezebel (1, 2) and The Guardian and even the Men’s Rights subreddit, to mention merely a few examples; Ok Cupid Goldmine is also provoking discussions. Posts on both sites regularly get dozens if not hundreds of comments and reblogs on Tumblr. The cat’s already out of the bag.
Here are a couple more of these “Nice Guys” with their faces all spiral-ized:
Posted on January 4, 2013, in creep-shaming, creepy, douchebaggery, entitled babies, hypocrisy, incoherent rage, irony alert, men who should not ever be with women ever, misogyny, nice guys, rape, rapey and tagged misogyny, nice guys, okcupid, rape, rape apology. Bookmark the permalink. 1,346 Comments.
@ Nat
My old cat did that too, except that it was the boyfriend’s ass that he jumped on in an attempt to “defend” me. Or maybe he just found the repetitive motion intriguing.
Also, is anyone else here on Jezebel? Frothy is starting to remind me of an old troll from there (skahammer) who was apparently under the impression that he could change the direction of feminism and make it more complaint with the “needs” of men who feel entitled to sex by trolling any conversation about sex on Jez. Could be the same guy, or could be that delusional minds think alike just as often as great ones.
Compliant, dammit. I can type, honest.
I suspect it’s a new mind in an old rut.
@CassandraSays
Damn that sounds creepy. I do think delusional minds think alike though. Did anyone see the list of 15 guys that show up in every feminist comment section? Pandagon did a thing on it. I’ll see if I can find it.
@CassandraSays
You ought to tighten the tin-foil on your hat if you think I am someone else. I am, and always have been Diogenes The Cynic.
Phrothy the Phollicle Phobic
okay, post-lunch sillies have arrived
It’s 14, not 15, but here it is:
http://www.dailylife.com.au/news-and-views/dl-opinion/the-14-kinds-of-sexist-commenters-20120607-1zyii.html
If I’d remembered it was still the top story on Pandagon, I woulda just grabbed it in the first place. (For those interested, Amanda Marcotte expands on a handful of them.)
Maybe he was raised to believe he was a special snowflake. Then he went out into the world and is convinced that his unlikeability is nothing more than jealousy — or a misunderstanding of his genius.
Or maybe he just gets off making women mad (yeah, even though some of the regulars are fellas).
Naïf: Have you got answers to the things people have been asking you?
Or is this another round of, “I’ll just pretend nothing happened,”?
Or as was suggested yesterday, is too cheap to find himself a professional dom to hand him his ass on a plate.
Oh, I remember that dipshit. I’m there but not as much since the evil that is Kinja was unleashed. The trolls have been godawful.
I don’t think Dumbass is skahammer, but they are not exactly original in their thinking.
15 should be the guy who tells you what his penis thinks. (I just had to teach my spellcheck the word penis. Who programmed this thing’s dictionary?)
@ Kitteh’s Help
There’s a can of worms :) My dog is my baby (well, my *other* baby) and she’s spoiled rotten and overly loved, I’d post pictures of her ALL DAY if I could.
All fancy in a hot pink damask chair: http://evaporites.tumblr.com/image/36993289916
Unimpressed with the crib: http://evaporites.tumblr.com/image/34454014214
BB Halite, Mr H, dog and siamese cat: http://evaporites.tumblr.com/day/2013/01/06
As to what’s different between Frenchies and Bostons, it’s not much, tbh. They’re both bred from the same stock, just looking for different traits. I happen to think the mix (Frenchton, Froston, Frobo etc …) is just perfect, but I’m biased :)
Awww! Doggy, baby and kitty! It is a cuteness trifecta!
It’s a shame that dead people can’t sue for defamation of character.
@ hellkell
Ugh, the new comments system. I haven’t bothered since they implemented that either.
Oh yes. Another lovefest headed my way.
pecinium
Be more specific, please.
I am falling in love with anonymous. They did this recently (MASSIVE trigger warning for rape): http://www.alternet.org/how-anonymous-hacking-exposed-steubenville-rape-case
Cynical asshat- go read it yourself. It was written for you. Go find specific instances when you were wrong and explain yourself. There are plenty to chose from. Also, you’re a douche.
I’ll go with this:
“Or as was suggested yesterday, is too cheap to find himself a professional dom to hand him his ass on a plate.”
“Okay, now I’m seeing an explorer wearing a pith helmet looking for hidden treasure in the jungle.”
That reminds me of a very NSFW limerick I got from my brother….I’ll have to see if I can remember it.
Naïf: I see, you intend to pretend to ignorance. This is what passes for brains in the young today.
It’s also, as said before, piss-poor manners; you feel entitled to make others do your homework because you aren’t able to click, “previous” when your short term-memory runs out.
Diogenes: if you can’t handle the “love,” go away. No one is making you come here, trust.
And I’m suddenly thinking of that great film, Memento starring Guy Pearce as Leonard Shelby. What did he have again? Oh yeah, anterograde amnesia.
@pecunium
Now that’s not helpful. He’ll spend all night looking for where it says previous (assuming he can remember he’s supposed to look for it).
@Diogenes
Click “Older Comments.” It’ll be right below this comment. There’s an arrow there too. You can do it!
I don’t owe anyone here anything. Lets get that clear.
If I leave mid-thread to do something else, I don’t have to apologize.
If I don’t want to answer a question, I am under no obligation to do so.
So, you’re not entitled to my time, my acknowledgement, or anything else. I figure that I have every reason to match my tone to how others here talk to me.
Stop trying to flame-bait me, because its annoying, and getting old. If you don’t want me to defend myself, don’t put me on the defensive. Instead pay attention to my arguments. Debate is more fun than childish name-calling.
If you see this as your website, why not put in the modicum of effort it would take to raise the level of discourse here?
We are. That’s why we’d like you to leave.
Aaaand this is why we think you’re a turd. You have an attitude problem. You are not here in good faith by your own admission, so what do we owe you? Answer: jack shit.
Why do you think the level of discourse needs to raised? Is it because, try as you might, you can’t relate to us or fit in? You keep trying, but all you do is insult people and take offensive stances. Now you think you can run shit. Well, you can’t.
Get stuffed, fool. Squeak, chew toy, squeak.
Only two swears in that! Was that civil enough? LOL.
Anyone else think we should start counting down to a flounce?
That’s a lot of demands — especially for a bunch of adults who never agreed to be the subject’s puppets.
“I don’t owe anyone here anything. Lets get that clear.” Ahahaha, this from the guy who deserves the silky smoothest legs for the sex he never has. Hypocrite troll is hypocritical. But silly cynical asshat, you are the one begging for debate, and when someone refutes your argument you leave (presumably to have a little cry). You might want to give up pretending you want a debate at all if that’s how you respond to arguments.
“Waah waah, they’re all flame baiting me”- That implies people don’t want you to shut up. Everyone does. Hell, people want you banned.
“pay attention to my arguments. Debate is more fun than childish name-calling.” Pay attention to meeeeeee!!! But cyclical, whenever anyone pays attention and summarily destroys those insipid remarks you pass off as arguments, you go have a cry break and pretend it never happened! How on earth could you tell that debate is fun when you seem incapable of engaging in it.
“If you see this as your website, why not put in the modicum of effort it would take to raise the level of discourse here?” We’re trying to get you banned. That should raise the level of discourse pretty quickly.
Isn’t it a clever little man!
::pats Diogenes the Chihuahua on the head::
::checks hand for fleas::
It can do brainfax all by itself!
@ somegal- A flounce would be nice, but this one seems to just go take cry breaks and start back at the beginning.
Someone just ordered the WAAHHHHHHHmburger and a side of cries.
Here’s a song for you:
All I do is insult people? Take offensive stances? Maybe if you bothered to read what I wrote, you would see that I usually present a nuanced view on each topic.
Nope. I post on topic till someone flame-baits the conversation, and makes it a personal attack against me.
And about trying to fit in? No. I couldn’t care less. You mistake civility for trolling.
Halite, those pictures are awesome! All the Bostons and Frenchies I’ve seen have been built very differently, but I haven’t seen heaps! Google shows me more similarity than I have experienced. Cool to know they’re closely related! They look a bit proper ABDA pit bulls and staffies in difference to me.
EG: Boston and Frenchie: http://www.dogencyclopedia.org/boston%20terrier.jpg
SBT and APBT: http://dims.vetstreet.com/dims3/MMAH/resize/645×380/quality/90/http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.prod.vetstreet.com/66/01e5c0a80811e0a0d50050568d634f/file/Staffordshire-Bull-Terrier-4-645mk062811.jpg
I have way better pictures at home. *mutter mutter*
C’mon, Diogenes, you love it here. This is classic narcissistic attention-baiting. You have so little regard for others for their own sake you couldn’t be bothered conducting mutually-pleasing discourse. What gets you off is being the center of attention while you can simultaneously get your self-aggrandizing fantasies stroked, and feed your insatiable desire to achieve victim status by provoking even the nicest people to lose patience with you. Getting a whole thread of people to spend hours and hours in agro-reaction for your passive-aggressive amusement must feel like a very satisfying day’s work.
timetraveler
Thats the type of post that doesn’t accomplish anything.
heathenbee wins an internet!
Halite – am ded of cuuuuuuuuteness!
@timetravellingfool
Oh, I wouldn’t bet he’ll stick it, just that’s he’ll officially claim to be leaving instead of just falling silent. I’ll take what I can get.
“I post on topic till someone flame-baits the conversation, and makes it a personal attack against me.”
What I said. Pure, blatant, grade-A bullshit.
Naïf: I don’t owe anyone here anything. Lets get that clear.
This from the dude who tried to impose rules of debate.
And you do owe people here, as everywhere something. It’s called common courtesy. If you aren’t sure what it is, ask your rebbe. To quote Hillel, “Do not do unto others what you would not have done to yourself,” and, “Love your neighbour as yourself (though the write of that piece misunderstands the Christian position, it’s otherwise an apt piece).
So, you’re not entitled to my time, my acknowledgement, or anything else. I figure that I have every reason to match my tone to how others here talk to me.
You clueless twist. You’ve been rude, arrogant, ignorant, insulting, and presumptive. People here have been matching their tone to you; and being more gentle and polite than your witless efforts deserve. We don’t want your time, but if you insist on inserting yourself, we will, by God, hold you to account for the things you have said, and it is our perogative, to challenge you to answer for your previous fuckwittery.
If you don’t like it, well then suck it up, because you choose to come here, and the community here has norms, and standards. That you choose to violate them means you choose to suffer the consequences.
Accepting that is what adults do. Whining, and petulantly engaging in posturing and foot-stamping that, “no one can make you” is childish.
Passive aggressive taunts like the one you tossed-off at me only make it more plain that you are lacking in much by way of maturity. It also show a sense that you are violating norms. You didn’t say, “I choose not to,” no, you said, “which ones?”. I’ve seen that game played before. You know there are a lot of open questions. You know you’ve not answered them, and you know that to try is to get your miserable attempts at argument shredded, so you demand to know which of them you have to answer to meet the requirements; in the hope that will get you off the hook for the rest.
We have paid attention to your arguments. Your lack of response to the rebuttals is what gets you the attention you don’t like. Grow up. You have admitted to trolling (“I enjoy the manipulation,” and, “do you think I’d be that overt”.) We read what you say. We’ve done this dick dance before (with bigger, and better dicks than you have so far proven to be). Your junior league at this.
When you get hammered you don’t continue the debate, you drop it. You did it with the “bible is divine” shit (and the attendant bullshit about what makes for religion). You did it with the personal grooming in this thread. You do it every time you are losing.
The level of discourse here is fine. What we are trying to do to raise it is to either get you to participate honestly, or get the fuck out.
Do you need me to make any of that more plain?
That is the biggest pantload I’ve heard today. You wouldn’t know nuance if it shaved and sat on your face.
“I usually present a nuanced view on each topic.” Yes, you present all the nuances of entitled misogynistic man-child. You have an attention seeking setting, a pouty victim setting, and, my favorite for being the most transparently absurd, a sanctimonious setting. And then you hit reset and do all those again. is it time for another cry break yet?
Oh hey, I win :D
Oh, an internet diagnosis. Those are always accurate!
Truth be told, I’d rather have a forum conversation with any one person, but they’re always dead (the forums).
hrovitnir, those Boston and French Bully shots are great for showing the difference – I can see how much lighter built the Boston is now.
And that Staffy is gorgeous!
“Nope. I post on topic till someone flame-baits the conversation, and makes it a personal attack against me.”
Huh. I don’t remember David ever posting about the Voynich Manuscript.
“And about trying to fit in? No. I couldn’t care less. You mistake civility for trolling.”
Hmm. Feigned innocence with a denial chaser to wash it down. *Yawn*
A misandrist! :P
@Diogenes The Crap
Are you sure you’re not related to SunshineMary? They kept whining about how ‘polite’ and ‘civil’ they were being too…
We have torrrented Once Upon a Time, so I shall watch it and spin. I’ll be back.
Diogenes: you think you’d fare better in the forum? Even more modded and less tolerant of fuckery. Good luck, chump.
@hellkell
Lol. That claim of his is right up there with earlier when he disclaimed the very cynicism he named himself after.
It should sit on his face without shaving. Then he’d die of Pube Terror.
Diogenes thinks he’s polite –
And hey! He’s both cis-male AND white!
So why won’t we play?
Shithead troll,go away,
you’re annoying, and boring, and trite.
Diogenes, why are you here? Nobody wants you here. You’re not posting reasonable arguments, you’re posting stupid ones, but you’re too stupid to realize how superficial and clueless they are. Just go away already.
MREnglish : “nuance” now means “my penis and my ego both have strong feelings about this topic that I don’t actually know anything about, and that needs to be taken into account”.
… Everyone here is telling you to get lost and you imagine you can engage people in the forums? How deep do your self delusions go?
Kitteh, “Pube Terror” the movie! Now in 3-D !
@Creative Writing Student
I’ve also had to teach it cursing, so it was a CIVIL misandrist.
“That is the biggest pantload I’ve heard today. You wouldn’t know nuance if it shaved and sat on your face.”
Best two sentences in this thread.
@ cassandra- worthy of a glossary entry.
Pube Terror 2 – The Pit Hair Attacks
Pube Terror 3 – The Regrowth
@heathenbee
+1
His claim that women being required to be shaved below the neck at all times because eww eww eww hair wilts his boner = HYGIENE was just so nuanced.
Perhaps he accidentally wiped his porn stash and that’s why he has to wank here.
:)
Cassandra, keep going!
Pube Terror 4: Rise of the Leg Hair
Hellkell, have some chocolate nuance. (NSFW).
http://www.lagustasluscious.com/shop/bluestocking-bonbons/furious-vulvas
pecinuim
I’m on the thread and watching Tod Brownings Freaks. Horrible film. I usually have more than a few tabs open. Plus, you know, a life outside of the internet, so excuse me if answering every question in every thread isn’t at the top of my priority list. But, its not.
And don’t speak out both sides of your mouth. I don’t instigate flames. You know that. So the fact that I have reciprocated the tone everyone has here back to them shouldn’t bother you.
And ooooh. You used the word petulant. That makes you feel grown-up; doesn’t it. I’m not impressed by intonation. You can accuse me of any character flaw you want. I know myself, and I know the truth. So the “well Imma talk down to you cuz you don’t seem to get it” No. Not impressed.
Pube Terror 5 – The Brazilian Has Failed